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# Top Ten Parental Discipline Strategies!!!
- URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/top-ten-parental-discipline-strategies/
- Published: 2014-03-06T10:00:33.000Z
- Updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:55.000Z
- Author: Dr. John Carosso
- Tags: Behavioral Health, Parenting, legacy-no-image

*Without further ado, here they are:*

1\. **ASSUME CONTROL**  
Control based in Action/Relationship  
Don’t entertain explanations  
Project self-confidence  
Business-like  
Give direction, don’t make requests

2\. **AVOID ARGUMENTS AND EMOTION**  
Cut-off communication if child becomes belligerent  
Avoid reasoning with child  
Give direction and walk away  
Communicate: It’s your problem, not mine  
1-2-3 Magic

3\. **PLAN FOR NEXT TIME**  
Discuss ahead of time what will happen if noncompliant  
Also discuss between parents – PLAN AHEAD and BE ON THE SAME PAGE  
Predetermined expectations and consequences (behavior charts…)  
Most problem behavior is predictable and patterned  
Be consistent  
Don’t give a direction if not ready to back-it-up (each time you do that, you lose some control)

4\. **DON’T LECTURE**  
Brief and to the point  
Humor  
No emotion (be the James Bond of parents)  
Don’t explain or lecture  
1-2-3 Magic

5\. **FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM BEHAVIOR; BE SPECIFIC**  
Be specific (what you want, and what you like)  
No emotion, model self-confidence  
Don’t focus on “attitude” – focus on behavior

6\. **AVOID DISTRACTIONS**  
Turn off TV, video games  
Remove siblings  
Remove siblings, friends  
No distractions during confrontations and chores

7\. **USE POSITIVE PRAISE AND EMOTION**  
Catch them being good  
Whisper (softer and closer)  
You get what you praise  
Attention-Tank (fill child’s attention tank with positive praise)

8\. **SELF-DISCLOSURE**  
Use judiciously and cautiously  
I-Feel Statements (“I feel frustrated when you ignore me…”)  
Tell them how you feel, don’t show them (control your emotional response)

9\. **ROLE MODEL APPROPRIATE PROBLEM-SOLVING**  
‘What you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say’  
Words and emotion are your enemy (brief, no emotion)  
Role model effective problem-solving

10\. **PICK YOUR BATTLES**  
Be flexible  
Check-in later

Dr. John Carosso