# Help For Your Child > Thoughts, stories and ideas. Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts. Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`). ## Pages ### About this site URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/about/ Last updated: 2026-06-22T20:40:51.000Z Help For Your Child is an independent publication launched in June 2026 by Ed Hauber. If you subscribe today, you'll get full access to the website as well as email newsletters about new content when it's available. Your subscription makes this site possible, and allows Help For Your Child to continue to exist. Thank you! ### Access all areas By signing up, you'll get access to the full archive of everything that's been published before and everything that's still to come. Your very own private library. ### Fresh content, delivered Stay up to date with new content sent straight to your inbox! No more worrying about whether you missed something because of a pesky algorithm or news feed. ### Meet people like you Join a community of other subscribers who share the same interests. --- ### Start your own thing Enjoying the experience? Get started for free and set up your very own subscription business using [Ghost](https://ghost.org/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), the same platform that powers this website. ## Posts ### What's the Long-Term Prognosis for Children with ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-06-27T00:52:57.000Z ### Article at a Glance - **Early diagnosis and consistent treatment dramatically change outcomes.** Undiagnosed ADHD compounds academic struggle, peer rejection, and self-esteem damage, which becomes progressively harder to reverse over time. - **Two-thirds of children with ADHD develop into adults with no significant mental health disorder.** An ADHD diagnosis does not predetermine your child's future. - **Parental support and advocacy are more powerful predictors of success than ADHD severity itself.** What parents do after diagnosis matters far more than the diagnosis itself. - **Adolescence (13–18) is the hardest and most critical window for intervention.** This is when ADHD peaks in impact, but it's also when intervention creates the most lasting change. - **Untreated ADHD creates a cascade of secondary damage across all life domains.** Children without treatment are 11 times more likely to drop out of high school and face ongoing employment and mental health struggles. - **Girls with ADHD are diagnosed 5–10 years later than boys, resulting in years of accumulated self-doubt and academic damage.** Don't wait for teachers to notice; get your daughter evaluated if you suspect ADHD. - **Comorbid anxiety and depression dramatically worsen outcomes and require separate treatment.** Treating only the ADHD while ignoring emerging anxiety or depression won't work. - **Educational accommodations (IEP or 504 plans) predict significantly better academic outcomes.** Parents who advocate for formal written accommodations provide their children a measurable advantage. - **One stable, affirming relationship with a caring adult is the single strongest protective factor for resilience.** This relationship matters more than medication, the perfect school, or any other intervention. - **Multimodal treatment (medication + therapy + coaching) produces noticeably better outcomes than any single intervention alone.** Consistency across all three domains is what creates real change. #### Table of Contents Show - [Article at a Glance](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Article%5Fat%5Fa%5FGlance) - [The Science Behind ADHD Persistence Why It Doesnt Just Disappear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#The%5FScience%5FBehind%5FADHD%5FPersistence%5FWhy%5FIt%5FDoesnt%5FJust%5FDisappear) - [What the Research Actually Shows Outcomes Across Life Domains](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#What%5Fthe%5FResearch%5FActually%5FShows%5FOutcomes%5FAcross%5FLife%5FDomains) - - [Educational Outcomes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Educational%5FOutcomes) - [Occupational Outcomes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Occupational%5FOutcomes) - [The Social Mental Health Picture](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#The%5FSocial%5FMental%5FHealth%5FPicture) - [But Heres the Hopeful Part](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#But%5FHeres%5Fthe%5FHopeful%5FPart) - [ADHD in Girls Why Prognosis Often Differs](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#ADHD%5Fin%5FGirls%5FWhy%5FPrognosis%5FOften%5FDiffers) - - [Why Girls Get Missed](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Why%5FGirls%5FGet%5FMissed) - [Different Outcomes Different Challenges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Different%5FOutcomes%5FDifferent%5FChallenges) - [What Helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#What%5FHelps) - [What Actually Changes Outcomes The Parental Agency Layer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#What%5FActually%5FChanges%5FOutcomes%5FThe%5FParental%5FAgency%5FLayer) - - [Early Diagnosis Intervention Timing](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Early%5FDiagnosis%5FIntervention%5FTiming) - [Treatment Compliance Consistency](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Treatment%5FCompliance%5FConsistency) - [Parental Coaching Behavioral Support](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Parental%5FCoaching%5FBehavioral%5FSupport) - [Educational Advocacy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Educational%5FAdvocacy) - [Family Dynamics Emotional Climate](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Family%5FDynamics%5FEmotional%5FClimate) - [Comorbidity Management](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Comorbidity%5FManagement) - [Protective Factors What Helps Kids with ADHD Thrive](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Protective%5FFactors%5FWhat%5FHelps%5FKids%5Fwith%5FADHD%5FThrive) - - [Secure Attachment to at Least One Caring Adult](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Secure%5FAttachment%5Fto%5Fat%5FLeast%5FOne%5FCaring%5FAdult) - [Educational Fit](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Educational%5FFit) - [Peer Support Mentorship](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Peer%5FSupport%5FMentorship) - [Career Alignment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Career%5FAlignment) - [Consistent Multimodal Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Consistent%5FMultimodal%5FTreatment) - [What to Expect by Age Stage-Specific Prognosis](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#What%5Fto%5FExpect%5Fby%5FAge%5FStage-Specific%5FPrognosis) - - [Early Childhood 6%E2%80%938 Years](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Early%5FChildhood%5F6%E2%80%938%5FYears) - [Elementary School 9%E2%80%9312 Years](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Elementary%5FSchool%5F9%E2%80%9312%5FYears) - [Adolescence 13%E2%80%9318 Years](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Adolescence%5F13%E2%80%9318%5FYears) - [Early Adulthood 18%E2%80%9325 Years](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Early%5FAdulthood%5F18%E2%80%9325%5FYears) - [Risk Factors What Worsens Outcomes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Risk%5FFactors%5FWhat%5FWorsens%5FOutcomes) - - [Untreated ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Untreated%5FADHD) - [Comorbid Anxiety or Depression](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Comorbid%5FAnxiety%5For%5FDepression) - [Lack of Parental Support](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Lack%5Fof%5FParental%5FSupport) - [Missed or Late Diagnosis](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Missed%5For%5FLate%5FDiagnosis) - [Trauma or Adverse Experiences](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Trauma%5For%5FAdverse%5FExperiences) - [Limited Access to Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Limited%5FAccess%5Fto%5FTreatment) - [When ADHD Co-occurs with Other Conditions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#When%5FADHD%5FCo-occurs%5Fwith%5FOther%5FConditions) - - [ADHD Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#ADHD%5FAnxiety) - [ADHD Depression](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#ADHD%5FDepression) - [ADHD Sleep Disorders](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#ADHD%5FSleep%5FDisorders) - [Real Stories Diverse Paths to Success](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Real%5FStories%5FDiverse%5FPaths%5Fto%5FSuccess) - - [Sophia Early Intervention Path](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Sophia%5FEarly%5FIntervention%5FPath) - [Marcus Later Diagnosis Still Okay](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Marcus%5FLater%5FDiagnosis%5FStill%5FOkay) - [Devon Untreated ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Devon%5FUntreated%5FADHD) - [What You Can Do NOW Your Parental Action Checklist](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#What%5FYou%5FCan%5FDo%5FNOW%5FYour%5FParental%5FAction%5FChecklist) - [The Bottom Line Hope Realism](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#The%5FBottom%5FLine%5FHope%5FRealism) - [Article FAQ](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#Article%5FFAQ) - - [About These FAQs](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-the-long-term-prognosis-for-children-with-adhd/#About%5FThese%5FFAQs) --- When I meet with parents to discuss an ADHD diagnosis, I’m frequently asked the following two questions: “Will my child outgrow this?” And, “How will this affect their future?” These are very real and legitimate questions. My response to these two questions is more hopeful and more honest than some sources will admit. In my judgment, I assess the long-term prognosis for children with ADHD as **cautiously optimistic**. Research shows that 60–65% of children continue to manage ADHD symptoms into adulthood, though for many, those symptoms become less visible. Even better: about two-thirds of children with ADHD go on to lead successful adult lives with steady jobs, healthy relationships, and meaningful education. But here's the realistic part: without early diagnosis and consistent treatment, the path gets a lot harder. Untreated ADHD increases the risk of dropping out of high school (32% vs. 15% in the general population), struggling with employment, and battling mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. So, what determines which path your child takes? That's precisely what we'll explore together in this article: How to maximize your son or daughter's long-term prognosis. We're going to walk through what the research actually says about ADHD outcomes, the factors that predict brighter futures, the challenges that can derail progress, and most importantly, what you as the parent can do to help shape your child's long-term trajectory. ## The Science Behind ADHD Persistence: Why It Doesn't Just Disappear Let's start with the neurological reality. ADHD isn't something kids "catch" and then recover from like the flu. It's a neurodevelopmental difference, meaning it's baked into how their brain is wired from the start. This matters because it explains why ADHD doesn't magically vanish when a kid turns 13 or graduates high school. The brain differences that cause inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity don't disappear. What does change is how those differences show up in daily life and how much they impact functioning. Here's the research breakdown. When experts follow children diagnosed with ADHD from childhood into adulthood, they observe remarkably consistent patterns: **Into adolescence:** Between 50 and 80% of children continue to show ADHD symptoms that are clinically significant, meaning they're causing real problems with school, friendships, or home life. **Into adulthood:** Between 35 and 65% of those kids continue to meet diagnostic criteria for ADHD or show what's called "subsyndromal ADHD" (that's research-speak for "not quite meeting all the diagnostic boxes but still struggling"). **By the mid-20s:** About 29–35% continue to have full ADHD diagnoses. Another significant chunk has what we call "partial persistence," meaning they're managing some symptoms well but still dealing with executive function challenges, relationship friction, or other lingering effects. And here's what matters: two-thirds of children with ADHD show no evidence of mental disorder by their mid-20s. That's the headline the research gives us. Most kids do okay. Many do really well. *ADHD doesn't disappear—it transforms across childhood. Here's what to expect at each stage*. ![Infographic showing ADHD progression and prognosis across four childhood stages (ages 6-8, 9-12, 13-18, and 18+). ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Science-of-Persistence-Infographic-1024x765.png) [Science of ADHD Persistence Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Science-of-Persistence-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Science-of-Persistence-Infographic-1.png) ## What the Research Actually Shows: Outcomes Across Life Domains Alright, let's get into the real-world data. How do children with ADHD actually fare as they grow up? ### Educational Outcomes This is where I need to be straight with you. Children diagnosed with ADHD drop out of high school at a much higher rate, about 32%, compared to 15% in teens with no psychiatric disorder. That's significant. College enrollment? Roughly 50% of young adults with ADHD attend vocational or junior college, compared to 18% of non-ADHD peers. And four-year college? Just 15% of young adults with ADHD hold a bachelor's degree versus 48% of their non-ADHD counterparts. But, and this is important, it does not mean ADHD kids can't or won't graduate. Here's what that research also found: some children with ADHD go on to complete Master's degrees. Some go to medical school. Some become accountants, stockbrokers, entrepreneurs, and teachers. The career ceiling isn't lower. It's just that more kids with untreated ADHD hit obstacles along the way. ### Occupational Outcomes Young adults with ADHD face significant employment difficulties by their mid-20s to early 30s: they are 11 times more likely to be unemployed or out of school, 4 times more likely to hold unskilled jobs, 61% more likely to have been fired, and 33% more likely to have been laid off. When they do work, they earn roughly $2 per hour less than non-ADHD peers. That's real money over a lifetime. ### The Social & Mental Health Picture This is where the broader perspective comes into play. Children with ADHD often struggle with social relationships. They're more likely to be excluded from peer groups at school, which affects self-esteem. This type of pain hits different than academic struggles. Self-esteem damage compounds over time. And when you combine social rejection with academic failure, you get fertile ground for anxiety and depression to take root. Research shows adults with ADHD have significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety disorders compared to the general population. They're also at higher risk for substance abuse, not because ADHD causes addiction, but because untreated ADHD increases impulsivity and struggling kids sometimes self-medicate. ### But Here's the Hopeful Part Despite all those statistics, two-thirds show no signs of mental disorder by their mid-20s. Most are employed, even if employment patterns have been rocky. Many have positive relationships, stable housing, and a sense of direction. The difference? The key factors are early intervention, consistent treatment, and parental support during the critical years. ## ADHD in Girls: Why Prognosis Often Differs Here's something that doesn't show up clearly in population statistics but shows up constantly in clinical practice: girls with ADHD often have different outcomes than boys, and part of that is because they're diagnosed years later. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Boys-vs.-Girls-Infographic-1024x765.png) [Boys vs. Girls Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Boys-vs.-Girls-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Boys-vs.-Girls-Infographic-1.png) ### Why Girls Get Missed Boys with ADHD tend to have the hyperactive presentation. They're bouncing off walls, interrupting class, and getting sent to the principal's office. Teachers notice. Parents notice. Diagnosis comes at age 7 or 8. Girls, especially those with inattentive-type ADHD, are often the quiet daydreamers or the "could do better if they'd tried" kids. They're not disrupting class. They're just sitting in the back, struggling to focus, turning in half-finished work. Some are perfectionists trying to cover up their struggles. Some are anxious about being "found out" as not being smart enough. Result? Girls with ADHD are diagnosed on average 5–10 years after boys. By the time a girl's inattentive ADHD is caught, she's already experienced years of academic struggle, social comparison ("Why am I not as smart as my friends?"), and self-esteem erosion. ### Different Outcomes, Different Challenges Girls with ADHD tend to have higher rates of anxiety and depression than boys with ADHD. They're more prone to perfectionism, which backfires when they can't meet their standards. They're more likely to develop eating disorders or struggle with body image. Their peer relationships matter more to their sense of self-worth, so social rejection hits harder. And here's the thing: by the time a girl gets diagnosed and starts treatment, she's got years of accumulated self-doubt to work through. Treatment addresses the ADHD, but the emotional scars take longer to heal. ### What Helps Girls with ADHD benefit enormously from having female role models and mentors who get it. They benefit from strength-based parenting, focusing on what they do well instead of constant correction. They also benefit from early intervention, which can involve expressing concerns and seeking an evaluation rather than obtaining a full diagnosis. If you have a daughter you're worried about, don't wait. Get her evaluated. The earlier you can address it, the better her long-term outlook. --- *Are you skeptical about the concept of ADHD, or have questions about a diagnosis? If so, you might want to read* [*"The Facts and Fallacies of ADHD."* ](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/)*In it, I discuss topics such as diagnosis validity, medication safety, and discipline myths.* --- ## What Actually Changes Outcomes: The Parental Agency Layer Okay, let's discuss the thing that separates kids who thrive from kids who struggle. It's not their ADHD severity. It's what happens after the ADHD is identified. ![This infographic compares the long-term outcomes of untreated ADHD (left path) and treated ADHD (right path) across four life domains: Academic Achievement, Employment/Career, Relationships, and Mental Health. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/The-Real-Cost-Infographic-1024x765.png) [The Impact of Treatment Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/The-Impact-of-Treatment-Infographic.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/The-Impact-of-Treatment-Infographic.png) ### Early Diagnosis & Intervention Timing Does it matter if a child is diagnosed at 6 versus 12? Research says absolutely yes. Every year of undiagnosed ADHD is a year of academic struggle, peer rejection, and self-esteem damage that compounds. A child diagnosed at 6 gets 6 years of treatment and support before high school. A child diagnosed at 12 is already behind academically and socially. Early intervention doesn't cure ADHD, but it prevents a lot of secondary damage. ### Treatment Compliance & Consistency This is huge. Children whose parents ensure consistent treatment, whether that's medication taken every day, weekly therapy appointments kept, or coaching sessions attended, show dramatically better outcomes. It's not complicated: consistency matters. Kids who start medication but only take it on school days, then skip it on weekends? Mixed results. Kids whose parents advocate fiercely for accommodations at school and also provide structure and support at home tend to have a much better trajectory. Much better trajectory. ### Parental Coaching & Behavioral Support You know what predicts better outcomes in young children with ADHD more than anything else? Parent behavior management training. That's research jargon for "parents learning strategies to help their child succeed." When parents understand ADHD, they stop blaming themselves ("My child is just lazy" or "I'm failing as a parent") and instead learn how to support an ADHD brain. Reward systems that work, consequences that make sense, and communication that gets through. A structure that supports rather than hinders. ### Educational Advocacy This one's critical. Children with ADHD who have formal accommodations, an IEP (Individualized Education Program), or 504 plans show significantly better academic outcomes. This can be extra time on tests, a separate testing space, homework reminders, and behavioral check-ins throughout the day. Parents who advocate loudly in school, who ensure their child receives these accommodations (in writing), and who follow up with teachers regularly? Well, their kids are more likely to complete high school, consider college, and believe they can succeed in life. ### Family Dynamics & Emotional Climate Here's something that doesn't always make it into research papers: the emotional tone of a home matters enormously. A child with ADHD who lives in a house filled with criticism, blame, and frustration? That kid's prognosis gets darker. They can develop shame and start believing they're broken. A child with ADHD who lives in a house whose parents understand the condition, communicate about it openly, and offer unconditional acceptance, even while setting clear limits? That kid's resilience is strong and his outlook is entirely different. ### Comorbidity Management This is critical. Many children with ADHD also develop anxiety, depression, or sleep disorders. What about parents who treat only the ADHD while ignoring the creeping anxiety? That kid's prognosis gets harder. However, parents who consider all aspects, including ADHD treatment, therapy for anxiety, and sleep hygiene, tend to see their children thrive. --- *Are you interested in additional ADHD treatment strategies like time management and task completion to help bridge diagnosis → management → long-term success? My article,* [*"ADHD: What's Executive Functioning Got To Do With It?"* ](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/)*explores Executive Function in detail and empowers parents about what can be done to improve it.* --- ## Protective Factors: What Helps Kids with ADHD Thrive ![Circular infographic displaying seven (7) protective factors that lead to better long-term outcomes for children with ADHD. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Protective-Factors-Infographic-1024x765.png) [Protective Factors Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Protective-Factors-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Protective-Factors-Infographic-1.png) Okay, so we've talked about what parents can do. Let's zoom out and discuss the bigger picture: what actually predicts resilience and success for kids with ADHD. ### Secure Attachment to at Least One Caring Adult This is the single strongest protective factor. Not medication. Not the perfect school. Someone who believes in the kid, sees their potential, and sticks with them on tough days. It could be a parent, a grandparent, a coach, a teacher, or an aunt or uncle. Regardless, the research is unequivocal: children with ADHD who maintain at least one stable, affirming relationship with an adult demonstrate significantly improved outcomes across all measures. This matters because ADHD kids get rejected a lot. Peers, teachers, and even frustrated parents sometimes reject ADHD kids. Having one person who says "You're not broken, I believe in you, and I'm not going anywhere" will change everything. ### Educational Fit Not every child succeeds in conventional classrooms. Many kids with ADHD excel in smaller classes, project-based settings, or alternative school programs. Parents give their children a tremendous advantage when they invest energy in finding the right educational environment that allows them to thrive rather than simply choosing the most prestigious school or the one that everyone else attends. ### Peer Support & Mentorship ADHD camps. ADHD support groups. Mentorship programs. Extracurricular activities where the kid's ADHD isn't the main story. These matter because they provide kids a chance to see themselves succeeding with peers who get it or who don't judge. A kid who spends all day in academic struggle might find community and confidence in a sports team, an art class, or a Scouts program. That confidence bleeds into other areas. ### Career Alignment Here's something intriguing: many adults with ADHD do really well in careers that match their neurology. High-energy, project-based work. Creative fields. Sales. Entrepreneurship. Emergency medicine. Things that require quick thinking and adaptability, as well as thriving under pressure. Parents who help kids identify their strengths, not just manage their weaknesses, set them up for careers where ADHD is less of a liability and sometimes even an asset. ### Consistent, Multimodal Treatment Medication alone? Helps. Therapy alone? Helps. Coaching alone? Helps. All three together? That's where the real transformation occurs. Kids whose families prioritize treatment consistency across domains show outcomes that are noticeably better. ## What to Expect by Age: Stage-Specific Prognosis Okay, let's talk about what prognosis actually looks like at different stages. This is because the concept of "long-term prognosis" is inherently abstract. What parents want to know is, "What should I expect this year?" And, “What's around the corner?” ![Multi-panel infographic depicting ADHD across four (4) distinct life stages (early childhood, pre-teen, adolescence and young adulthood).](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Life-Stages-Infographic-1024x765.png) [Life Stages Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Life-Stages-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Life-Stages-Infographic-1.png) ### Early Childhood (6–8 Years) This is usually the diagnosis window. “A child who got by with natural intelligence and parental scaffolding suddenly faces a classroom of 25 kids where sitting still matters. Prognosis at this age is highly dependent on intervention speed. Early diagnosis plus immediate treatment equals better academic trajectory from this point forward. Delayed diagnosis means cumulative academic damage starting to compound. Emotionally, kids this age are still developing their self-concept. Early intervention protects self-esteem in a way that later intervention can't fully repair. ### Elementary School (9–12 Years) This is the "trajectory-setting" phase. Academic patterns start solidifying. Is there a specific child who received early intervention and is now thriving in third grade? That momentum often carries forward. A kid who's been struggling for years by now? The gap between them and peers is getting wider. Social dynamics matter more now. ADHD kids who are struggling academically often become targets for social rejection. That compounds the emotional toll. The good news: treatment still helps tremendously at this age. Kids can still catch up. But it requires consistent, intensive intervention. ### Adolescence (13–18 Years) Here's the truth: adolescence is the hardest age for ADHD. This is when ADHD peaks in terms of impact and challenge. Why? Executive function demands explode. Suddenly, a kid needs to manage multiple classes, organize their materials, plan long-term projects, regulate their sleep schedule, and navigate complex peer relationships. The brain areas responsible for all these functions (the prefrontal cortex) are still developing in ADHD brains, and in typically developing brains they're also going through rapid change. Add puberty, which intensifies everything; identity formation, which is already complex; and peer pressure, which hits different when your brain is impulsive, and you've got a perfect storm. Adolescence is the highest-risk period for school failure, substance experimentation, risky driving, and mental health crises. It's also the period where parental support matters most and where many parents, exhausted from years of managing ADHD, step back. But here's the counterintuitive part: adolescence is also the window where intervention creates the most impact. Behavioral coaching, organizational skills training, mentorship, and parental support during this phase can literally change the trajectory. ### Early Adulthood (18–25 Years) Okay, here's the plot twist. For many kids with ADHD, early adulthood is when things get better. Why? School structure is gone. Work environments are often more flexible. Adult ADHD kids sometimes discover careers and environments where their brains work. They develop their own systems. They seek out peer groups that understand and support them. They're no longer compared to a classroom standard of 25 other kids. About 30% of individuals with ADHD actually achieve what researchers call "functional remission": they exceed diagnostic criteria or their symptoms no longer cause significant impairment. Others don't achieve full remission but develop compensatory strategies. They learn their brain's operating manual. They build lives around their strengths. By their late 20s and early 30s, many people with ADHD report finally feeling like they're "catching up" emotionally and finding their footing professionally. The brain regions that were so chaotic in adolescence have matured, leading to improved emotional regulation and better decision-making skills in adulthood. They've learned what works. ## Risk Factors: What Worsens Outcomes ![Infographic listing seven (7) risk factors that predict worse long-term outcomes for children with ADHD](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/What-Makes-ADHD-Worse-Infographic-1024x765.png) [What Makes ADHD Worse Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/What-Makes-ADHD-Worse-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/What-Makes-ADHD-Worse-Infographic-1.png) Let's be direct about what makes outcomes worse. Because understanding risk factors helps you protect against them. ### Untreated ADHD Untreated ADHD is the big one. Children without diagnosis or treatment are 11 times more likely to drop out of high school and 4 times more likely to struggle with employment. The impact compounds year by year. Untreated ADHD doesn't stay contained to school. It affects friendships, family relationships, self-esteem, and mental health. Every year without intervention is a year of accumulated damage. ### Comorbid Anxiety or Depression When ADHD co-occurs with anxiety or depression, which happens in about 50–60% of kids with ADHD, outcomes become significantly more complicated. These kids are more likely to struggle academically and socially. They're at higher risk for suicidal ideation. Treatment becomes more complex because you can't treat just the ADHD and ignore the anxiety. What makes a child with ADHD worse? Untreated mental health comorbidities are huge. Parental stress and criticism. Unaddressed sleep disorders. Trauma or adverse childhood experiences. Limited access to treatment due to poverty or geography. ### Lack of Parental Support A kid with ADHD whose parents don't understand the condition, blame them for their symptoms, or offer no emotional support? That kid's trajectory is noticeably worse. They develop shame about their ADHD. They internalize the message that they're broken, lazy, or bad. ### Missed or Late Diagnosis Every year a child goes undiagnosed is a year of academic and social damage. This is especially true for girls, who are diagnosed years later than boys on average. ### Trauma or Adverse Experiences ADHD plus trauma equals more complex treatment needs. Trauma can worsen ADHD symptoms and make kids more reactive and dysregulated. ### Limited Access to Treatment Poverty matters. Kids in under-resourced areas have less access to evaluation, medication, therapy, and coaching. Kids in wealthy areas have more options. That gap in access translates directly into a disparity in outcomes. ## When ADHD Co-occurs with Other Conditions Most kids with ADHD don't have "just ADHD." In addition to ADHD, they often experience anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, or learning disabilities. This issue is significant because treatment must consider the entire picture. ### ADHD + Anxiety This combination is more common in girls. The ADHD creates impulsivity and difficulty focusing. The anxiety creates perfectionism, worry, and avoidance. Together, they can create a kid who's paralyzed: too anxious to try because of fear of failure and too impulsive to stop and think before acting. Treatment needs to address both. Sometimes anxiety medication, sometimes therapy specifically for anxiety, and always acknowledgment that treating one without the other won't work. ### ADHD + Depression This condition tends to develop over time. A child with untreated ADHD experiences years of failure, rejection, and shame. By adolescence, depression sets in. Now you've got a kid who's impulsive and unmotivated. That's a harder combination. ### ADHD + Sleep Disorders Sleep problems are super common in ADHD. And they make ADHD worse. A child who's not sleeping well is more dysregulated, more impulsive, and more emotionally reactive. Parents who address sleep alongside ADHD treatment see dramatic improvements. ## Real Stories: Diverse Paths to Success Let me give you three snapshots of what "different outcomes" actually looks like. ### Sophia: Early Intervention Path Sophia was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in second grade. Her parents got her evaluated after her teacher mentioned she seemed to "daydream" a lot. Sophia started medication and therapy. Her school put a 504 plan in place. By high school, Sophia was getting B's and C's, not straight A's, but showing respectable academic performance. In college, she found an environment that worked for her brain. She graduated. Now, in her late 20s, she works in marketing, a field where her ADHD-style brain is actually an asset. She has a stable job, and while she still takes medication, she's doing well. Early diagnosis and consistent support shaped Sophia's prognosis. ### Marcus: Later Diagnosis, Still Okay Marcus wasn't diagnosed until high school. He'd been labeled a "troublemaker" for years. He dropped out at 16\. By 18, he was working in a trade, and that's where his brain worked. The hands-on, project-based nature of the work suited him. Now in his 30s, Marcus owns his own business. He's successful. His ADHD is still there, but he's built a life around his strengths, not constantly fighting his weaknesses. He wishes he'd been diagnosed earlier (could've saved himself years of shame), but he got there. Marcus's prognosis: Later diagnosis didn't define his future because he found the right environment. ### Devon: Untreated ADHD Devon was diagnosed at age 8, but his parents didn't believe in medication. No therapy. No accommodations in school. He was smart enough that he coasted through middle school on intelligence alone. High school hit different. By sophomore year, he was failing. By junior year, he'd dropped out. In his 20s, he struggled with employment, substance use, and relationship instability. He's doing better now after finally seeking treatment as an adult, but years of untreated ADHD took a real toll. Devon's prognosis: Untreated ADHD created more complications than it needed to. These aren't typical cases. Everyone's story is different. But they show that ADHD itself doesn't determine destiny. The response to ADHD does. ## What You Can Do NOW: Your Parental Action Checklist Okay, so you've read all the research. You understand the risk factors and protective factors. Here's what to actually do. 1. **Seek diagnosis early (don't wait for school to suggest it):** If you suspect ADHD, get your child evaluated. Don't wait for your pediatrician to mention it. Don't wait for the teacher to mention it. An earlier diagnosis leads to faster intervention, which results in better long-term outcomes. 2. **Pursue multimodal treatment:** Medication plus therapy plus coaching equals better outcomes than any single intervention alone. Don't choose just one and hope it's enough. 3. **Advocate in school (get accommodations in writing):** IEPs and 504 plans matter. They predict better academic outcomes. Get your child evaluated by the school. Get official accommodations. Follow up. 4. **Build your own support system:** You need support as much as your child does. Parent coaching. Therapist. Support groups. The extended family gets it. Don't try to manage this alone. 5. **Address your child's emotional landscape:** Protect self-esteem. Watch for anxiety and depression. Get them addressed early if they emerge. Your child's feelings about having ADHD matter as much as the ADHD symptoms themselves. 6. **Treat comorbidities:** If anxiety, depression, sleep issues, or learning disabilities are present, they need treatment too. Don't ignore them. 7. **Create predictable structure:** Routines reduce anxiety and increase regulation. Your child's brain needs the scaffolding that ADHD brains don't naturally create for themselves. 8. **Model self-compassion:** Your child learns how to think about their ADHD partly from how you think about it. If you talk about it as a flaw or a tragedy, that's what they'll believe. They will believe you if you describe it as a difference that requires management. 9. **Look ahead to developmental transitions:** School changes, puberty, and other transitions are extra challenging for ADHD kids. Prepare and provide extra support during these windows. 10. **Connect with the community:** ADHD support groups, camps, and mentorship programs. Places where your child sees other kids with ADHD doing okay. That normalization matters. *Below is a checklist of 10 practical steps you can use to help support your child with ADHD—from seeking a professional evaluation to practicing self-care. Download, print, and place somewhere visible as a daily reminder.* ![Printable checklist infographic with 10 actionable steps parents can take to improve their child's ADHD outcomes. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Your-Action-Checklist-Infographic-1024x765.png) [Your Action Checklist Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Your-Action-Checklist-Infographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Your-Action-Checklist-Infographic-1.png) ## The Bottom Line: Hope + Realism Here's what the research tells us. Your child's future with ADHD is not predetermined. Two-thirds of children with ADHD grow into adults with no significant mental health disorder. Most find employment. Many build positive relationships and stable lives. Some thrive in ways that kids without ADHD don't. But that doesn't happen by accident. It happens because of early diagnosis, consistent treatment, parental support, educational advocacy, and intentional protection of self-esteem during the critical years. The prognosis for your child is positive if you act now. Not because your child needs to be fixed (they don't). But because early intervention, consistent support, and the right environment can literally change their trajectory. If you find yourself stuck, overwhelmed, or in need of a professional opinion, don’t navigate your situation alone. Move from uncertainty to understanding—take the first step toward the answers and support you deserve. [**Schedule an appointment** ](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)with our team and let's build a plan that fits your child, your family, and your life. Call our office at (724) 733-5757, or visit us [**online** ](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)to request an appointment. You can also reach out to me via email at DrCarosso@aol.com or visit [acpitt.com](http://www.acpitt.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) to learn more about how we support families navigating ADHD. Your child will be okay. And with the right support, they might be far better than just okay. Your kiddo's future isn't written yet. You're helping write it. God bless you and your family. --- ## Article FAQ **Can ADHD be treated without medication?** Yes, but multimodal treatment (medication + therapy + coaching) produces the best outcomes. Some children respond well to behavioral therapy, parent coaching, and school accommodations without medication. Others improve significantly with medication alone. But research consistently shows that the best outcomes happen when you combine approaches. Behavioral interventions plus therapy plus medication equals better results than any single intervention alone. The key is working with your child's doctor to figure out what combination works best for your child's specific situation. Some kids need medication to make therapy and coaching effective; others don't. There's no one-size-fits-all answer. **Is ADHD considered a disability?** Legally and educationally, yes. In terms of identity, that's up to you and your child. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), ADHD is recognized as a disability that may qualify your child for legal protections and accommodations at school (IEPs or 504 plans). This designation gives you power and protections. However, how your family talks about ADHD is separate from that legal status. Some families frame it as a disability that requires support. Others frame it as a neurodevelopmental difference or a different way of thinking. What matters is that your child gets the legal protections and accommodations they need and that you discuss their ADHD in ways that protect their self-esteem and help them understand themselves. **At what age does ADHD typically appear or get diagnosed?** Symptoms appear early, but diagnosis usually comes when school structure demands begin (ages 6–8). ADHD symptoms exist from birth, but many children don't get diagnosed until they enter elementary school and suddenly face a classroom of 25 kids where sitting still matters. That's usually ages 6–8\. However, some kids with milder ADHD or those who are naturally intelligent often go undiagnosed until middle school (ages 11–13), and girls especially frequently aren't diagnosed until high school or even adulthood (ages 14+). The earlier a child is diagnosed, the better their long-term outcome. Don't wait for official school failure before pursuing evaluation. **What are some natural or non-medication ways to help my child with ADHD?** Structure, routine, physical exercise, sleep, and parental support are foundational. Nutrition helps but doesn't cure ADHD. Research supports several non-medication strategies: consistent routines reduce anxiety and increase regulation; physical exercise improves focus and emotional regulation; adequate sleep is critical (sleep problems make ADHD worse); a diet with stable blood sugar helps; and strong parental support matters enormously. Some families try supplements like omega-3 or magnesium, though evidence is mixed. What's clear is that diet doesn't cause or cure ADHD, though dietary adjustments can support overall wellness. The most powerful "natural" interventions are the ones that cost nothing: your presence, your understanding, consistent structure, and unwavering belief in your child. **Are there specific things I should NOT say to my child with ADHD?** Avoid blame-based language that suggests laziness, stupidity, or moral failure. Frame ADHD as a difference, not a defect. Language that damages: "You're so lazy," "Why can't you just focus?" "You're not trying hard enough," "You're stupid," "You're broken," "Other kids don't have this problem." These messages teach shame. Better alternatives: "Your brain works differently, and that's okay." "Let's figure out a system that helps your brain." "I know you're trying. Let's try a different approach." "You're not bad. Your ADHD is just challenging to manage sometimes." Your child already feels different and struggles. They don't need to feel blamed on top of that. The language you use shapes how they think about themselves and their future. **How do I know if my child has severe ADHD versus mild or moderate?** Severity is determined by how much ADHD symptoms interfere with your child's functioning, not by how hyperactive they are. A hyperactive kid who gets excellent grades and has friends might have mild ADHD. A quiet kid who can't focus, is falling behind academically, and is becoming socially isolated might have moderate or severe ADHD. Severity is about the impact on functioning across multiple areas (school, home, friendships, and self-esteem). Your child's doctor will assess these factors during diagnosis. What matters is understanding that severity can change with treatment. A child with moderate ADHD who receives consistent treatment might function like a child with mild ADHD. Conversely, a mildly affected child without treatment can have worse outcomes than a moderately affected child with treatment. **What does an ADHD "meltdown" look like, and how is it different from a normal tantrum?** A meltdown is an overflow of dysregulation due to overload; a tantrum is a behavioral choice to get something. An ADHD meltdown happens when the child's nervous system becomes overwhelmed. They might cry, yell, seem inconsolable, or shut down completely. The trigger might seem small (a transition, a minor disappointment, too much noise), but the reaction is large. A tantrum, by contrast, usually has a clear goal: the child wants something and uses emotional outbursts to obtain it. Often, a tantrum stops when the child gets what they want. A meltdown doesn't stop when you provide the child what they thought they wanted because the issue is neurological overload, not unmet desire. During a meltdown, your child isn't trying to manipulate you; they're genuinely dysregulated. The response should be to stay calm, ensure safety, remove stressors if possible, and help them recover. Shame or punishment makes meltdowns worse. **What if my child with ADHD is also academically gifted? How does that change the prognosis?** Intelligence can mask ADHD for years, but eventually executive function demands catch up. Early diagnosis is even more critical. A gifted child with ADHD can rely on their innate intelligence to navigate through elementary and occasionally middle school. They get good grades despite terrible organizational skills, incomplete work, and chronic procrastination. But by high school or college, when the volume of work explodes and executive function becomes the limiting factor, they often hit a wall. Teachers assume they're lazy or not trying. The child is confused because they've always been "smart enough." This can lead to delayed diagnosis, shame ("If I'm smart, why can't I get organized?"), and sometimes crisis. Gifted children with ADHD actually need earlier intervention and more structured support because their intelligence masks the problem. Getting your gifted child evaluated for ADHD early, even if they're doing well academically now, can prevent a crisis later. ### About These FAQs The eight questions above represent some of the most commonly searched queries parents have about ADHD prognosis and management. Use these as conversation starters with your child's healthcare team and as reference points when navigating treatment decisions. Have questions you don't see here? Reach out to us anytime at www.acpitt.com/contact. ### ### My Child Won't Sleep: The Complete Guide to Understanding and Solving Pediatric Sleep Problems URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:56.000Z ### Article at a Glance - **Sleep deprivation in children is far more common than most parents realize.** Roughly 37 percent of young children and 77 percent of teenagers fall short of recommended sleep levels, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. - **Poor sleep doesn't just cause crankiness; it affects everything.** Sleep-deprived children are at higher risk for attention problems, mood dysregulation, weakened immunity, behavioral issues, and academic struggles. - **Understanding the root cause matters more than any single tip.** Sleep-onset associations, anxiety, screen exposure, overtiredness, and undiagnosed medical conditions all drive sleep problems in different ways, and each requires a different approach. - **Children's sleep needs vary significantly by age.** Newborns need up to 17 hours per day, school-age kids still need 9 to 12, and most teenagers require 8 to 10 but rarely get close. - **About 15 to 20 percent of children are "livewires," those whose brains resist sleep by design.** Standard sleep training is usually ineffective for highly sensitive, alert children, so parents need targeted strategies. - **ADHD and autism create additional layers of sleep challenges.** At least half of children with ADHD and up to 80 percent of children with autism experience clinically significant sleep problems that require targeted interventions. - **Melatonin is a hormone, not a harmless vitamin.** It should only be used under physician guidance, at the lowest effective dose, and parents should know that commercial products frequently contain inaccurate dosing. - **Several pediatric sleep disorders, including sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome, and parasomnias, often go unrecognized.** Their symptoms frequently overlap with behavioral diagnoses like ADHD, making proper evaluation essential. - **Sleep regressions can resurface well beyond infancy.** Developmental milestones, school transitions, and life changes commonly trigger sleep disruptions at ages 3, 5, and 7. - **Your child's sleep problems are solvable, and asking for help is a sign of strength.** Start with one or two consistent changes, give them at least two weeks, and reach out to a pediatrician or child psychologist if problems persist. #### Table of Contents Show - - [Article at a Glance](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Article%5Fat%5Fa%5FGlance) - [Its 10 47 PM and my child wont sleep](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Its%5F10%5F47%5FPM%5Fand%5Fmy%5Fchild%5Fwont%5Fsleep) - [Why Your Childs Sleep Is a Bigger Deal Than You Realize](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Why%5FYour%5FChilds%5FSleep%5FIs%5Fa%5FBigger%5FDeal%5FThan%5FYou%5FRealize) - - [What Happens Inside Your Childs Brain While They Sleep](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#What%5FHappens%5FInside%5FYour%5FChilds%5FBrain%5FWhile%5FThey%5FSleep) - [The Ripple Effect of Sleep Deprivation in Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FRipple%5FEffect%5Fof%5FSleep%5FDeprivation%5Fin%5FKids) - [How Much Sleep Does Your Child Actually Need](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#How%5FMuch%5FSleep%5FDoes%5FYour%5FChild%5FActually%5FNeed) - - [How to Tell If Your Child Isnt Getting Enough](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#How%5Fto%5FTell%5FIf%5FYour%5FChild%5FIsnt%5FGetting%5FEnough) - [Why Your Child Wont Sleep The Root Causes Most Articles Miss](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Why%5FYour%5FChild%5FWont%5FSleep%5FThe%5FRoot%5FCauses%5FMost%5FArticles%5FMiss) - - [Sleep-Onset Associations And Why They Backfire](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Sleep-Onset%5FAssociations%5FAnd%5FWhy%5FThey%5FBackfire) - [Bedtime Resistance Is Developmentally Normal But Still Exhausting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Bedtime%5FResistance%5FIs%5FDevelopmentally%5FNormal%5FBut%5FStill%5FExhausting) - [Anxiety Worry and the Nighttime Fear Factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Anxiety%5FWorry%5Fand%5Fthe%5FNighttime%5FFear%5FFactor) - [Screens Blue Light and the Melatonin Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Screens%5FBlue%5FLight%5Fand%5Fthe%5FMelatonin%5FProblem) - [The Overtired Trap Why Exhausted Kids Fight Sleep Harder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FOvertired%5FTrap%5FWhy%5FExhausted%5FKids%5FFight%5FSleep%5FHarder) - [Medical Causes That Fly Under the Radar](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Medical%5FCauses%5FThat%5FFly%5FUnder%5Fthe%5FRadar) - [When Nothing Works Understanding %22Livewire%22 Kids and Temperament](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#When%5FNothing%5FWorks%5FUnderstanding%5F%22Livewire%22%5FKids%5Fand%5FTemperament) - - [What Makes a Livewire Different](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#What%5FMakes%5Fa%5FLivewire%5FDifferent) - [Why Standard Sleep Training Fails These Kids And What to Try Instead](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Why%5FStandard%5FSleep%5FTraining%5FFails%5FThese%5FKids%5FAnd%5FWhat%5Fto%5FTry%5FInstead) - [What Actually Works Sleep Strategies by Age](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#What%5FActually%5FWorks%5FSleep%5FStrategies%5Fby%5FAge) - - [Newborns and Infants 0%E2%80%9312 Months Building the Foundation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Newborns%5Fand%5FInfants%5F0%E2%80%9312%5FMonths%5FBuilding%5Fthe%5FFoundation) - [Toddlers 1%E2%80%933 Years The Bedtime Battle Zone](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Toddlers%5F1%E2%80%933%5FYears%5FThe%5FBedtime%5FBattle%5FZone) - [Preschoolers 3%E2%80%935 Years Fears Independence and Nap Transitions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Preschoolers%5F3%E2%80%935%5FYears%5FFears%5FIndependence%5Fand%5FNap%5FTransitions) - [School-Age Kids 6%E2%80%9312 Years The Hidden Sleep Crisis](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#School-Age%5FKids%5F6%E2%80%9312%5FYears%5FThe%5FHidden%5FSleep%5FCrisis) - [Teenagers 13%E2%80%9318 Years Biology Working Against Them](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Teenagers%5F13%E2%80%9318%5FYears%5FBiology%5FWorking%5FAgainst%5FThem) - [Popular Sleep Training Methods Explained in Plain English](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Popular%5FSleep%5FTraining%5FMethods%5FExplained%5Fin%5FPlain%5FEnglish) - - [The Ferber Method Graduated Extinction](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FFerber%5FMethod%5FGraduated%5FExtinction) - [The 5-3-3 Rule for Night Weaning](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5F5-3-3%5FRule%5Ffor%5FNight%5FWeaning) - [The Camping Out Chair Method](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FCamping%5FOut%5FChair%5FMethod) - [The Bedtime Fading Technique](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FBedtime%5FFading%5FTechnique) - [The 10-3-2-1 Rule for Older Kids and Teens](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5F10-3-2-1%5FRule%5Ffor%5FOlder%5FKids%5Fand%5FTeens) - [ADHD Autism and Sleep A Different Kind of Challenge](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#ADHD%5FAutism%5Fand%5FSleep%5FA%5FDifferent%5FKind%5Fof%5FChallenge) - - [Why Kids with ADHD Struggle at Bedtime](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Why%5FKids%5Fwith%5FADHD%5FStruggle%5Fat%5FBedtime) - [Sleep and Autism Spectrum Disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Sleep%5Fand%5FAutism%5FSpectrum%5FDisorder) - [Strategies That Help Neurodivergent Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Strategies%5FThat%5FHelp%5FNeurodivergent%5FKids) - [Melatonin Supplements and Natural Sleep Aids What Parents Need to Know](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Melatonin%5FSupplements%5Fand%5FNatural%5FSleep%5FAids%5FWhat%5FParents%5FNeed%5Fto%5FKnow) - - [The Truth About Melatonin for Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#The%5FTruth%5FAbout%5FMelatonin%5Ffor%5FKids) - [Natural Alternatives Worth Exploring](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Natural%5FAlternatives%5FWorth%5FExploring) - [What About Herbal Sleep Remedies](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#What%5FAbout%5FHerbal%5FSleep%5FRemedies) - [Pediatric Sleep Disorders What to Watch For](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Pediatric%5FSleep%5FDisorders%5FWhat%5Fto%5FWatch%5FFor) - - [Obstructive Sleep Apnea in Children](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Obstructive%5FSleep%5FApnea%5Fin%5FChildren) - [Nightmares vs Night Terrors Theyre Not the Same Thing](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Nightmares%5Fvs%5FNight%5FTerrors%5FTheyre%5FNot%5Fthe%5FSame%5FThing) - [Restless Legs Syndrome and Periodic Limb Movements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Restless%5FLegs%5FSyndrome%5Fand%5FPeriodic%5FLimb%5FMovements) - [Parasomnias Sleepwalking and Confusional Arousals](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Parasomnias%5FSleepwalking%5Fand%5FConfusional%5FArousals) - [Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Delayed%5FSleep%5FPhase%5FSyndrome) - [Sleep Regressions Dont Stop at Age Two](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Sleep%5FRegressions%5FDont%5FStop%5Fat%5FAge%5FTwo) - [A Quick Word for Exhausted Parents](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#A%5FQuick%5FWord%5Ffor%5FExhausted%5FParents) - [When Should You Call the Pediatrician About Sleep](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#When%5FShould%5FYou%5FCall%5Fthe%5FPediatrician%5FAbout%5FSleep) - [Youre Not Failing Youre Fighting for Better Nights](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Youre%5FNot%5FFailing%5FYoure%5FFighting%5Ffor%5FBetter%5FNights) - - [Ready to get to the bottom of your childs sleep problems](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Ready%5Fto%5Fget%5Fto%5Fthe%5Fbottom%5Fof%5Fyour%5Fchilds%5Fsleep%5Fproblems) - [Article FAQ](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-sleep/#Article%5FFAQ) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Hero-Image-1-1024x765.png) --- --- ## **It's 10:47 PM, and my child won't sleep!** You've done the bath. You've read three stories since the first two "didn't count." You've fetched the water, adjusted the blanket, checked under the bed for monsters, and answered a truly baffling question about whether fish have dreams. Despite your best efforts, your child remains wide awake—perhaps even more alert now than they were earlier in the day. So, you do what every modern parent does: you grab your phone and type, "My child won't sleep." If your search led you to this article, I'm pleased you found it. You are not alone in this struggle. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, roughly 37 percent of children between 4 months and 5 years old aren't getting enough sleep. For teenagers, that number jumps to a staggering 77 percent of high school students. If bedtime at your house resembles a hostage negotiation rather than a peaceful wind-down, take a deep breath. You've got plenty of company. However, this article won't simply advise you to "establish a bedtime routine" and leave it at that. What you need is a deeper, more honest look at *why* your child won't sleep—what's *actually going on* inside their brain and body and *what really works* based on their age, their temperament, and their unique challenges. That's exactly what we're going to cover. From newborns to teenagers. We'll address everything from bedtime battles to sleep disorders. Questions about melatonin and strategies specific to ADHD. This is your one-stop guide to finally understanding and solving your child's sleep problems. Let's dig in. ## **Why Your Child's Sleep Is a Bigger Deal Than You Realize** Before discussing solutions, it's important to understand what's at stake, since the effects of poor sleep in children extend far beyond just feeling irritable in the morning. ### **What Happens Inside Your Child's Brain While They Sleep** Sleep is much more than rest; it's a vital part of your child's growth. Throughout the night, your child's brain cycles through multiple unique stages, each playing an important role in development. In the lighter stages of non-REM sleep, the brain begins to slow down and prepare for deeper work. Then comes deep sleep (also called slow-wave sleep), where the real magic happens. Growth hormone surges during this stage. Tissues repair. The immune system strengthens. During REM sleep, which is when dreaming occurs, your child's brain consolidates memories, processes emotions, and stores what they learned that day. During the night, your child's brain moves through a series of sleep cycles that repeat approximately every 90 minutes. Each cycle includes phases crucial for physical growth, tissue repair, and memory consolidation. Insufficient sleep or frequent disruptions in your child's rest will prevent them from completing these cycles fully. Missing out on full sleep cycles results in fewer periods of deep sleep, which means their bodies receive less growth hormone, and their brains are less capable of processing memories effectively. When these interruptions happen night after night, the negative effects steadily accumulate, impacting both physical and cognitive development. ### **The Ripple Effect of Sleep Deprivation in Kids** At this point, things become especially important. When children don't sleep well, the effects don't just show up at bedtime. They show up *everywhere*. Dr. Judith Owens, head of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children's Hospital, notes that children who don't get enough sleep may become hyperactive, act impulsively, or have difficulty concentrating—behaviors that are frequently confused with symptoms of ADHD. Research reveals that many children evaluated for ADHD actually have unrecognized sleep issues. In addition to its impact on behavior, poor sleep harms the immune system, mood, learning, memory, and physical growth. Chronic sleep deprivation in teens raises the risk of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Solving your child's sleep problems isn't just about making bedtime easier. It’s about safeguarding their physical health, emotional well-being, and learning capacity. The importance of good sleep cannot be overstated. ## **How Much Sleep Does Your Child Actually Need?** One of the most common mistakes parents make is underestimating how much sleep their child actually requires. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine provides these guidelines for total sleep per 24-hour period: - **Newborns (0–3 months):** 14–17 hours - **Infants (4–12 months):** 12–16 hours (including naps) - **Toddlers (1–2 years):** 11–14 hours (including naps) - **Preschoolers (3–5 years):** 10–13 hours (including naps) - **School-age children (6–12 years):** 9–12 hours - **Teenagers (13–18 years):** 8–10 hours Notice that school-age kids still need up to 12 hours. Most aren't even close. And teens? Between homework, sports, social media, and early school start times, the average American teenager receives about 7 hours on a good night. This situation poses a significant risk. ![Infographic showing recommended sleep hours by age group from newborn through teenager, based on American Academy of Sleep Medicine guidelines.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Infographic-Image-2-1-1024x765.png) [How Much Sleep Does Your Child Need Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/How-Much-Sleep-Does-Your-Child-Need-Infographic.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/How-Much-Sleep-Does-Your-Child-Need-Infographic.png) ### **How to Tell If Your Child Isn't Getting Enough** So how do you know if your child falls short? Look for these red flags: - They consistently struggle to wake up in the morning and seem groggy for the first 30 minutes or more. - They fall asleep almost instantly in the car, even on short rides. - Their behavior deteriorates noticeably in the late afternoon or evening, with more meltdowns, more defiance, and more tears. - They seem hyperactive or "wired" right before bedtime instead of winding down. - They sleep significantly longer on weekends, which signals a weekday sleep debt. - Teachers report attention problems, daydreaming, or falling asleep in class. If you're nodding along to several of those, your child almost certainly needs more sleep. The good news is that once you identify the gap, you can start closing it. And that starts with understanding *why* the sleep problems exist in the first place. ## **Why Your Child Won't Sleep: The Root Causes Most Articles Miss** Here's where most advice articles fall short. They jump straight to "tips and tricks" without ever exploring what's actually driving the problem. But if you don't understand the *why*, the fixes won't stick. Let's delve deeper into the issue. ### **Sleep-Onset Associations (And Why They Backfire)** This issue primarily affects babies and toddlers, but it can also impact children of any age. A sleep-onset association is anything your child has learned to ***need*** to fall asleep: being rocked, being nursed, having a parent lie beside them, or even watching a specific show. The issue isn't with the association itself—it's what occurs at 2 am. When your child wakes up between sleep cycles, as everyone does each night, they struggle to get back to sleep unless the same circumstances are present. Without rocking, they remain awake; if a parent isn’t nearby, they may become extremely anxious. Dr. Robin Lloyd, a pediatric sleep expert at the Mayo Clinic Children's Center, puts it simply: toddler sleep issues are much easier to prevent than to treat. Teaching your child to fall asleep independently, drowsy but awake, gives them a skill they'll use every single night, at every wake-up, without needing you to intervene. ### **Bedtime Resistance Is Developmentally Normal (But Still Exhausting)** If your toddler or preschooler approaches bedtime as a negotiation, don't be discouraged. That's actually a sign of healthy development. Between ages 2 and 5, children are learning to test boundaries, assert independence, and push limits. Bedtime happens to be the perfect arena for all three. The stalling tactics ("one more story," "I need water," "my toe feels weird") aren't manipulation. They're a child's way of exploring how much control they have over their world. That doesn't make it less exhausting for you, of course. But understanding that it's normal can help you respond with firm consistency instead of frustration. ### **Anxiety, Worry, and the Nighttime Fear Factor** For many children, the quiet darkness of bedtime is precisely when anxiety begins to manifest. Without the distractions of the day, worries that were manageable at noon become overwhelming at 9 PM. Fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of bad dreams, and fear of something vague they can't even name: these are all incredibly common in childhood. What makes the situation tricky is the bidirectional relationship between sleep and anxiety. Poor sleep makes anxiety worse. And anxiety makes sleep harder. It becomes a cycle that feeds itself. One practical technique worth trying with anxious kiddos is the **3-3-3 grounding rule**. When your child feels anxious at bedtime, have them name three things they can see, three sounds they can hear, and then move three parts of their body (wiggle toes, shrug shoulders, tap fingers). This redirects their brain away from the worry and into the present moment. You can practice it together during calm times so they have it ready when they need it. If nighttime anxiety persists or intensifies, though, [**please don't hesitate to reach out to a child psychologist**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/). Anxiety disorders are among the most treatable conditions in all of child psychology, and the sooner you address them, the better. ### **Screens, Blue Light, and the Melatonin Problem** You've probably heard that screens before bed are bad for sleep. But do you know *why*? Here's the science, and it's more alarming than most parents realize. When the sun goes down, your child's brain begins producing melatonin, a hormone that signals the body to prepare for sleep. Blue light from screens (phones, tablets, TVs, and computers) directly suppresses that melatonin production. It essentially tells the brain, "It's still daytime. Stay alert." Interestingly, research from the University of Colorado Boulder revealed that preschool-aged children are significantly more sensitive to this effect than adults. Even moderate evening light exposure can suppress melatonin in young children by as much as 70 to 90 percent. That's not a small effect. That's a biological sledgehammer. The solution is straightforward but requires discipline: screens off at least one hour before bedtime. Dim the lights in your home during that final hour. And keep TVs, tablets, and phones out of the bedroom entirely. Yes, even for teens. Especially for teens. ### **The Overtired Trap: Why Exhausted Kids Fight Sleep Harder** Here's one of the most counterintuitive things about children's sleep: the more exhausted they get, the *harder* it becomes for them to fall asleep. Go figure, but the human body just works that way. When a child stays up past their optimal sleep window, their body interprets the continued wakefulness as a need to stay alert. It releases cortisol and adrenaline (stress hormones) to keep them going. That's the infamous "second wind." Suddenly your exhausted toddler is bouncing off the walls like they just chugged an espresso. ![Circular infographic illustrating the overtired cycle in children, showing how missed sleep windows trigger cortisol release, hyperactivity, and increased difficulty falling asleep.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Infographic-Image-4-1024x765.png) Sleep experts at Children's Hospital Colorado call the period right before natural sleepiness kicks in the "forbidden zone," a peak of alertness that makes falling asleep especially difficult. If you're putting your child to bed during this window, you're facing a challenging task. The solution? Don't wait for your child to *look* sleepy. Follow age-appropriate bedtime guidelines and start your wind-down routine well in advance. For livelier kids especially, you'll want to stay ahead of that second wind, because once it hits, the battle is already lost. ### **Medical Causes That Fly Under the Radar** Sometimes the problem isn't behavioral at all. It's medical. And these causes deserve more attention than they typically receive. **Sleep apnea** is surprisingly common in children, particularly between ages 2 and 8, when tonsils and adenoids are at their largest. If your child snores loudly, gasps during sleep, or breathes through their mouth at night, talk to your pediatrician. Left untreated, pediatric sleep apnea can cause attention problems, behavioral issues, and poor school performance, symptoms that are frequently misdiagnosed as ADHD. Other medical contributors include **allergies and nasal congestion** (which disrupt breathing during sleep), **gastroesophageal reflux** (which causes discomfort when lying flat), **restless legs syndrome** (that tingling, crawling sensation in the legs that worsens at rest), and certain **medications**, including some ADHD stimulants, that can interfere with sleep as a side effect. If your child's sleep problems persist despite consistent routines and good sleep hygiene, a medical evaluation is an important next step. ## **When Nothing Works: Understanding "Livewire" Kids and Temperament** Now, here's something that almost nobody talks about, and it's the single most important thing I can tell certain parents reading this article. ### **What Makes a Livewire Different** Some children are simply *wired differently* when it comes to sleep. Sleep consultant and researcher Macall Gordon, M.A., calls these kids "livewires," and if you have one, you already know exactly what she means. Livewires are infants who appeared wide awake right from birth. They're toddlers who rarely seem sleepy and children capable of crying for hours during sleep training without ever showing signs of surrender. These kids are highly sensitive, extremely perceptive, deeply involved in their surroundings, and wholeheartedly believe that sleeping is simply a waste of time. Gordon, who holds a master's degree in psychology from Antioch University and has worked with hundreds of families of non-sleeping children, estimates that roughly 15 to 20 percent of children fall into this temperament category. For these kids, the usual "sleepy signals" (yawning, eye-rubbing, droopiness) are either very faint or completely absent. Instead of winding down when they're exhausted, livewires wind *up*. ### **Why Standard Sleep Training Fails These Kids (And What to Try Instead)** If you've tried Ferber, tried cry-it-out, tried every method in every book, and felt like a failure, please hear my message: it's not you. The method wasn't designed for your child's neurological wiring. Standard sleep training assumes that after a few tough nights of protest, a child will learn to self-soothe and settle. For roughly 80 percent of children, that's true. But for livewires, the usual approach can mean hours of escalating distress over many, many nights with zero improvement. The books never mention this possibility, and when parents "cave," they blame themselves. They shouldn't. What works better for livewires is a slower, more gradual approach that respects their need for regulation support. That means more transition time before bed, extremely predictable routines with zero variation, and methods like the camping out technique (described below) that provide parental presence while still building toward independence. It also means accepting a longer timeline. With patience and consistency, even the most alert, persistent little ones can learn to sleep. It just takes more runway. ## **What Actually Works: Sleep Strategies by Age** Alright. You understand the science, you know the causes, and you've identified what might be going on with your child. Now let's get practical. Here are evidence-based strategies organized by age group, because what works for a 6-month-old is very different from what works for a 14-year-old. ### **Newborns and Infants (0–12 Months): Building the Foundation** During the first few months, your baby's sleep will feel chaotic, and that's completely normal. Newborns don't have established circadian rhythms yet, so they sleep in short bursts around the clock. Your job during this phase is to keep them safe and start laying the groundwork for healthy sleep habits. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends room-sharing (but not bed-sharing) for at least the first 6 months. Place your baby on their back, on a firm and flat surface, in a crib or bassinet free of blankets, pillows, bumpers, and stuffed animals. Starting around 4 to 6 months, most babies are developmentally ready to begin learning to fall asleep more independently. This is when you can start putting them down "drowsy but awake," a phrase you'll hear from every pediatric sleep expert on the planet, because it genuinely matters. A baby who falls asleep in your arms needs your arms again at 2 AM. A baby who falls asleep in the crib learns to self-soothe back to sleep when they naturally wake between cycles. If you're ready to begin night-weaning around this stage, the **5-3-3 rule** offers a helpful framework: after bedtime, wait at least 5 hours before the first feeding, then at least 3 hours before the next, and another 3 hours after that. Between those windows, use your chosen soothing method (gentle pats, shushing) rather than feeding. Always consult your pediatrician before starting any night-weaning approach to make sure your baby is gaining weight appropriately. ### **Toddlers (1–3 Years): The Bedtime Battle Zone** ![A father reads a bedtime story to a drowsy toddler tucked into bed in a cozy, dimly lit bedroom.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Picture-Image-3-1024x765.png) Welcome to the wild years. Toddlers combine a fierce desire for independence with an almost complete lack of impulse control, and bedtime is where those forces collide. A consistent, predictable bedtime routine is the most effective tool in your arsenal. Follow the same steps, in the same order, at the same time, every single night. This isn't about rigidity for its own sake. It's about giving your toddler's brain a series of cues that reliably signal, "Sleep is coming." A solid toddler routine might look like this: bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, two books, a song, then lights out—it takes 20 to 30 minutes. Keep things calm, dim, and on schedule. Reduce power struggles by giving toddlers limited choices, like picking between blue or green pajamas or choosing which book to read. These small decisions let them feel in control without dominating the routine. For the inevitable curtain calls ("I need water," "one more hug," "there's a shadow"), stay calm, keep your response brief and boring, and walk them back to bed with minimal engagement. Dr. Robin Lloyd of Mayo Clinic recommends a consistent mantra like, "I love you, it's time for bed," delivered with warmth but zero negotiation. The less reinforcement (positive or negative) the curtain call gets, the faster it fades. If your toddler is transitioning from crib to bed, make the move when they start climbing out of the crib, since it becomes a safety issue at that point. Make the new room exciting with familiar objects, their favorite blanket, and maybe new bedding they helped pick out. ### **Preschoolers (3–5 Years): Fears, Independence, and Nap Transitions** Preschoolers bring a new challenge to the bedtime equation: imagination. While their growing minds enable them to build intricate pretend worlds, they also give rise to monsters lurking beneath the bed, shadows resembling faces, and dreams so lifelike that children may wake up crying in fear. A bit of your imagination and creativity can be very helpful when dealing with fears at night. “Anti-monster spray" (a labeled spray bottle of water with a drop of lavender) can become a powerful bedtime ritual. A special stuffed animal designated as the "dream guardian" gives them a sense of protection. A nightlight, a cracked door, or a family photo by the bed can all reduce anxiety without creating dependencies. This is also the age when many children drop their daytime nap. If your preschooler is fighting the nap, taking over an hour to fall asleep at night, or consistently waking at 5 AM, it may be time to transition. Replace the nap with a quiet rest period (books, puzzles, soft music) and move bedtime earlier by 30 to 60 minutes to compensate. "Okay to wake" clocks, which change color when it's acceptable to get up, can work wonders for early risers and bedtime boundary-testers. And the **Supernanny method for sleep separation**, where you gradually reduce your presence in the room over a series of nights, remains an effective option for kids who struggle with parental separation at bedtime. --- ***Want to keep this guide handy? Bookmark this page so you can come back to it on those tough nights.*** ***Do you know another parent who's struggling with bedtime? Please consider sharing this with him or her.*** ***Sometimes, simply knowing you're not alone can make a big difference.*** --- ### **School-Age Kids (6–12 Years): The Hidden Sleep Crisis** Here's a little-known fact about modern childhood: school-age children are experiencing a silent sleep crisis, and very few people are discussing it. Between homework, extracurricular activities, playdates, and the ever-present lure of screens, the average 8-year-old's schedule looks like a corporate executive. Something has to give, and it's almost always sleep. School-age children still need 9 to 12 hours of sleep per night. Count backward from your child's wake-up time and you'll likely find that their current bedtime is too late. Even 30 additional minutes of sleep can produce measurable improvements in attention, mood, and academic performance. For this age group, the bedtime routine should evolve but not disappear. A shower, some quiet reading, maybe a brief conversation about the day: these wind-down activities signal the brain to shift gears. Keep electronics out of the bedroom and enforce a screen curfew at least an hour before bed. Consider establishing this practice as a household guideline rather than a penalty, and strive to exemplify it yourself whenever feasible. If your school-age child struggles with anxiety-driven insomnia, lying in bed with a racing mind, teach them relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation or the 3-3-3 grounding method. A worry journal kept by the bed, where they write down their concerns before lights out, can help externalize their thoughts and allow their brain to let go. And keep them active during the day. Exercise is one of the most potent natural sleep aids available, as long as it happens well before bedtime. In more severe cases, chronic sleep problems and morning exhaustion can contribute to [**school refusal**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/), a pattern that becomes harder to break the longer it continues. ### **Teenagers (13–18 Years): Biology Working Against Them** If your teenager can't fall asleep before midnight and can't drag themselves out of bed at 6:30 AM, here's something you need to know—it's not laziness. It's biology. During puberty, the circadian clock shifts later. Melatonin release in teenagers naturally occurs about two hours later than in younger children or adults. Their bodies genuinely aren't ready for sleep at 10 pm the way yours might be. This is called **delayed sleep phase**, and it's a well-documented biological reality, not a character flaw. ![A teenager lies in a dark bedroom at night, face illuminated by the blue glow of a smartphone screen.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Picture-Image-5-1024x765.png) On top of that biological shift, pile on social media, late-night group chats, homework loads, early school start times, and the blue light from every device they own. The result is a population of chronically sleep-deprived teenagers navigating one of the most demanding periods of brain development in their entire lives. It's a perfect storm. What can you do? Begin by implementing the 3-2-1 method: refrain from eating for 3 hours prior to bedtime, avoid homework or work for 2 hours before bedtime, and eliminate screens (such as phones, tablets, or computers) for one hour before bedtime. For teens, this single framework can create the structure they need without feeling overly controlling. Expose them to bright light (ideally sunlight) within 30 minutes of waking up. This helps reset their circadian clock and suppress lingering melatonin. Keep their sleep schedule as consistent as possible, with weekday to weekend drift staying within one to two hours. And have an honest conversation about why sleep matters. Teens respond better to information and autonomy than to rules handed down from on high. Dr. Zheng Fan, a pediatric sleep specialist and neurologist at UNC Health, emphasizes that shifting a teen's bedtime by more than one to two hours on weekends forces their brain and organs to constantly readjust, like traveling between time zones every week. Their brain stays perpetually exhausted, and their body systems can't synchronize properly. ## **Popular Sleep Training Methods, Explained in Plain English** Parents hear these method names thrown around constantly but rarely get a clear explanation of how they actually work. So, let's fix that. ![Comparison infographic showing five popular children's sleep training methods, including how each works and which age group it best serves.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Infographic-Image-6-1024x765.png) [5 Popular Sleep Methods Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/5-Popular-Sleep-Methods-Infographic.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/5-Popular-Sleep-Methods-Infographic.png) ### **The Ferber Method (Graduated Extinction)** Developed by Dr. Richard Ferber at Boston Children's Hospital, this method involves putting your child down awake and then checking on them at gradually increasing intervals. On night one, you might check at 3 minutes, then 5, then 10\. On night two, you might check at 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, and finally at 12 minutes. Each check-in is brief: gentle words, maybe a pat, but you don't pick them up. Over the course of several nights, most children learn to fall asleep independently. This method typically works well for babies 6 months and older with a typical temperament. It's less effective for livewire children and kids with significant anxiety. ### **The 5-3-3 Rule for Night Weaning** This framework helps parents reduce nighttime feedings for babies 4 to 6 months and older. After bedtime, you wait at least 5 hours before the first feed, then 3 hours before the next, and 3 more after that. Wake-ups between those intervals get soothing instead of feeding. It pairs naturally with other sleep training approaches and helps babies consolidate their nighttime sleep into longer stretches. ### **The Camping Out (Chair) Method** This gentle approach works especially well for anxious children and neurodivergent kiddos. You sit in a chair beside your child's bed (or on a mattress on the floor) while they fall asleep. Every few days, you move your position slightly farther away: from beside the bed, to the middle of the room, to the doorway, and eventually out of the room entirely. Progress is slow, but the method minimizes distress and respects children who need more regulation support, allowing them to gradually adjust to changes in their environment at their own pace. ### **The Bedtime Fading Technique** If your child's current bedtime doesn't match their body clock, meaning they lie awake for 45 minutes or more before falling asleep, bedtime fading can help. Temporarily set bedtime to the time they're *actually* falling asleep. Then move it earlier by 15 minutes every few days until you reach the target. This eliminates the frustrating period of lying in bed wide awake and rebuilds the brain's association between "bed" and "sleep." ### **The 10-3-2-1 Rule for Older Kids and Teens** This simple countdown framework works well for school-age children and teenagers: no caffeine **10** hours before bed, no food or sugary drinks **3** hours before bed, no homework or mentally stimulating work **2** hours before bed, and no screens **1** hour before bed. It's simple to remember and enforce as a household standard, and it addresses the most common sleep disruptors for older children. ## **ADHD, Autism, and Sleep: A Different Kind of Challenge** If your child has ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, or another neurodevelopmental condition, everything I've said so far still applies, but you're also dealing with a whole additional layer of complexity. And you deserve strategies that acknowledge that reality. If you suspect your child's sleep problems may be connected to ADHD, understanding [**how ADHD is treated in young children**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/) can help you see the bigger picture. ### **Why Kids with ADHD Struggle at Bedtime** Research consistently shows that at least 50 percent of children with ADHD experience significant sleep problems. The reasons are both neurological and practical. The same executive function deficits that make it challenging for kids with ADHD to stay organized, manage time, and regulate impulses also make it incredibly difficult to "power down" at night. Their brains don't transition smoothly from alert mode to sleep mode. Racing thoughts, physical restlessness, and an inability to quiet internal chatter keep them wired long past lights-out. On top of that, stimulant medications used to treat ADHD can sometimes delay sleep onset, particularly if the timing or dosage isn't optimized. And comorbid conditions like restless legs syndrome and anxiety are significantly more common in children with ADHD, compounding the sleep challenge further. Dr. Benson at the Child Mind Institute explains it this way: winding down, calming your thoughts, and settling your body are all forms of self-regulation, and that's precisely what kids with ADHD struggle with most. Sleep-deprived children often present with symptoms that look remarkably like ADHD. For a deeper look, see our guide on [**ADHD vs. anxiety in children**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). ### **Sleep and Autism Spectrum Disorder** Children on the autism spectrum face their own set of sleep obstacles, and the numbers reflect it: studies suggest that 50 to 80 percent of children with ASD have clinically significant sleep problems. Several factors converge. Many children with autism produce melatonin on a different schedule or in different quantities than neurotypical peers. Sensory issues with pajama textures, bedding materials, room temperature, ambient sounds, or the quality of light can make the physical experience of being in bed uncomfortable, or even distressing. Individuals with ASD often exhibit rigidity and a reliance on routines, so even a small interruption in the bedtime process can disrupt the entire night. Visual bedtime schedules, such as picture cards that illustrate each part of the routine in sequence, work particularly well for children on the spectrum. These tools reduce uncertainty, provide consistency, and enable children to anticipate the next steps without needing to rely solely on verbal directions. ### **Strategies That Help Neurodivergent Kids** ![A child rests peacefully under a weighted blanket in a sensory-friendly bedroom with blackout curtains and a visual bedtime schedule on the wall.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Picture-Image-7-1024x765.png) For kids with ADHD, autism, or other neurodevelopmental conditions, try these specific adjustments: - **Create a sensory-friendly sleep environment.** Experiment with different pajama fabrics, bedding textures, and mattress firmness. Try blackout curtains, white noise machines, or soft background music. [**Some children respond well to weighted blankets**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/weighted-blankets-and-vests-are-they-helpful-for-children-with-autism-and-adhd/); just follow safety guidelines (no more than 10 percent of body weight, and the child must be able to remove it independently). - **Use visual schedules and timers.** A picture-based bedtime chart or a visual countdown timer helps neurodivergent children anticipate and manage transitions, which reduces anxiety and resistance. - **Review medication timing with your prescriber.** If your child takes ADHD medication, ask whether the timing or formulation could be adjusted to reduce sleep interference. Never make medication changes without professional guidance. - **Consider referral to a pediatric sleep specialist.** If sleep problems persist despite consistent behavioral strategies, a specialist can evaluate for underlying sleep disorders (which are more common in neurodivergent populations) and recommend targeted interventions. A predictable routine doesn't just help at bedtime; it also makes [**school mornings dramatically easier**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/)for kids with ADHD and autism. --- ***Have a specific question about your child's sleep? We're happy to help point you in the right direction.*** ***Click the CONNECT button below to send us a confidential message. You can also reach out to Dr. Carosso directly at: DrCarosso@aol.com.*** ***No commitment, no pressure, just a real person on the other end who understands what you're going through* *.*** [CONNECT](https://acpitt.com/contact?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) --- ## **Melatonin, Supplements, and Natural Sleep Aids: What Parents Need to Know** This might be the section parents want to read most, so let's be thorough and honest. ### **The Truth About Melatonin for Kids** Melatonin use among children has exploded recently. From 2007 to 2012, pediatric melatonin use in the United States surged by over 500 percent, and it has continued to rise since then. Walk through any pharmacy and you'll find gummies, drops, and tablets marketed specifically to kids. Here's what parents need to understand: melatonin is a hormone, not a vitamin. In the United States, it's sold as a dietary supplement, which means it's not subject to the same rigorous FDA oversight as prescription medications. Studies have found that the actual melatonin content in commercial products can vary by as much as 400 percent from what's listed on the label. Some products tested have even contained serotonin, an entirely different neurochemical. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends careful use of melatonin. It can be suitable for certain children, especially those with delayed sleep phase or neurodevelopmental disorders, but it must be administered under medical supervision, using the lowest possible dose and only as long as needed. Knowing what melatonin can and cannot do is essential. Melatonin is primarily a circadian rhythm regulator. It tells the brain, "It's time to start winding down." It's not a sedative. It won't knock your child out. And it won't fix underlying behavioral sleep problems, poor sleep hygiene, or undiagnosed sleep disorders. ### **Natural Alternatives Worth Exploring** If you’d rather skip melatonin, there are some evidence-based natural alternatives: - **Magnesium glycinate** helps relax muscles and may ease stress. It's usually safe for kids, but consult your pediatrician about dosing. - **Chamomile tea** (caffeine-free, of course) has been used as a calming bedtime beverage for centuries. Although research is limited, it indicates that there may be mild sedative effects. - **Tart cherry juice** is one of the few natural food sources of melatonin and has shown modest sleep-promoting effects in some studies. - **L-theanine**, an amino acid in green tea, may help with relaxation without causing drowsiness, but pediatric research is limited. - **Sleep-friendly foods** that are high in tryptophan—such as turkey, bananas, oats, dairy products, and almonds—can help the body produce melatonin naturally, especially when you include them in a balanced evening snack. ### **What About Herbal Sleep Remedies?** Valerian root, lemon balm, and passionflower appear frequently in "natural sleep aid" products marketed to families. While these herbs have a long traditional history, the scientific evidence supporting their use in children is thin. Herbal products are also unregulated supplements, with the same quality control concerns as melatonin. Bottom line: talk to your pediatrician before giving your child any supplement, herbal remedy, or over-the-counter sleep product. "Natural" doesn't automatically mean safe, especially for developing brains and bodies. ## **Pediatric Sleep Disorders: What to Watch For** Beyond behavioral sleep issues, several clinical sleep disorders affect children. Recognizing the signs early can make an enormous difference in treatment outcomes. ### **Obstructive Sleep Apnea in Children** Pediatric obstructive sleep apnea occurs when the airway becomes partially or fully blocked during sleep, most commonly due to enlarged tonsils and adenoids. It's especially prevalent in children ages 2 to 8. Warning signs include loud snoring (not the gentle baby snore, but real, audible-from-the-hallway snoring), gasping or choking sounds during sleep, mouth breathing, restless sleep with frequent position changes, and bedwetting. During the day, these children may show hyperactivity, attention problems, irritability, and academic difficulties, symptoms that overlap significantly with ADHD. Dr. Julie Baughn, a pediatric sleep medicine specialist at the Mayo Clinic Children's Center, notes that sleep apnea in children is really prevalent during the exact years when kids start school and attention issues first get flagged. If your child snores regularly and also struggles with focus or behavior, a sleep evaluation should be on the table. ### **Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: They're Not the Same Thing** Parents often confuse these two, but they're fundamentally different phenomena. **Nightmares** happen during REM sleep, usually in the second half of the night. Your child wakes up, remembers the scary dream, and needs comfort and reassurance to fall back asleep. Nightmares are related to the developmental challenges of growing up and are often triggered by stress, scary media, or significant life changes. **Night terrors** happen during deep non-REM sleep, typically in the first third of the night. Your child may scream, thrash, appear terrified, and even sit up or leave the bed, but they're actually still asleep. They won't recognize you, they can't be comforted in the usual way, and they won't remember the episode in the morning. Night terrors are an inherited disorder of arousal, and the best response is to ensure your child's safety while waiting for the episode to pass (usually 5 to 15 minutes). ### **Restless Legs Syndrome and Periodic Limb Movements** Restless legs syndrome (RLS) triggers a strong urge to move the legs and is associated with tingling, crawling, or aching sensations, which typically get worse at night or when resting. Children with ADHD or iron deficiency are more likely to have it. Related to RLS, periodic limb movement disorder involves involuntary kicking or twitching of the legs during sleep. Your child won't know they're doing it, but it can fragment their sleep and leave them unrested in the morning. If your child complains about uncomfortable leg sensations at bedtime or seems unusually restless during sleep, mention it to your pediatrician. Iron supplementation, if needed based on blood tests, can make a significant impact. ### **Parasomnias, Sleepwalking, and Confusional Arousals** Parasomnias are sleep disorders marked by unusual movements or behaviors during sleep. In children, sleepwalking and confusional arousals are most common. Sleepwalking involves walking while asleep; confusional arousals cause confusion or agitation without full consciousness. These episodes may be alarming, but children usually have no memory of them the next day. These disorders occur because parts of the brain remain in deep sleep while other parts activate. They tend to run in families and are usually outgrown. Safety is the primary concern: secure the environment, gate stairways, and avoid waking the child (which can increase confusion and agitation). You should see a pediatric sleep specialist if parasomnias occur often, are serious, or pose a risk of injury. ### **Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome** Delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS) is especially relevant for teenagers. It's a circadian rhythm disorder in which the natural sleep-wake cycle shifts significantly later, often by two or more hours, compared to conventional schedules. A teenager with DSPS genuinely cannot fall asleep at 10 PM. Their brain doesn't produce melatonin until midnight or later. Forcing an early bedtime just creates hours of frustrating wakefulness. Meanwhile, they can't wake up for school because their body is still deep in its natural sleep cycle. Treatment typically involves bright light therapy in the morning, strategic melatonin use in the evening (under physician guidance), and sometimes gradual chronotherapy, shifting the sleep window progressively earlier over days or weeks. If you think your child may have DSPS, a pediatric sleep specialist can help determine the diagnosis and design a personalized treatment plan. ## **Sleep Regressions Don't Stop at Age Two** Most parents associate sleep regressions with babies, but the truth is that sleep disruptions can resurface at almost any age, and they often catch families off guard at ages 3, 5, and 7. What triggers these later regressions? The usual suspects: developmental milestones (starting preschool, beginning kindergarten, navigating new social dynamics), cognitive growth spurts that leave the brain overactive at night, illness, travel, schedule changes, and major life transitions like a new sibling, a family move, or parental separation. The good news is that regressions at these ages typically resolve within 2 to 4 weeks if you hold steady on your established routines. The key is not to create new sleep habits in response to the disruption. Letting your 5-year-old start sleeping in your bed "just this once" can quickly become a new normal that's much harder to undo. Stay consistent, stay patient, and ride it out. ## **A Quick Word for Exhausted Parents** If you're reading this right now with gritty eyes and a cold cup of coffee, I want to speak directly to you for a moment. Your child's sleep problems aren't just affecting them. They're affecting *you*. Chronic sleep deprivation negatively impacts various aspects of your life, including your energy, patience, relationship with your partner, mental health, ability to function at work, and sense of self. Chronic sleep deprivation in parents is associated with increased rates of depression, anxiety, marital conflict, and parental burnout. And the guilt, the feeling that you should somehow be handling the situation better, only worsens it. So let me be clear: you're not failing. You're fighting for better nights for your family, and the fact that you've read this far proves how much you care. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Share nighttime duties whenever possible. Nap when you can. Ask for help from a partner, a family member, a friend, or a professional. And remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Your well-being isn't separate from your child's well-being. They're deeply connected. ## **When Should You Call the Pediatrician About Sleep?** There are times when seeking professional help is the best option. Here are several scenarios to consider: - If your child snores heavily or you notice episodes of gasping, choking, or interruptions in breathing while they sleep. - Sleep issues have continued for weeks despite routines and proper sleep habits. - Daytime sleepiness is impacting your child's mood, behavior, or schoolwork. - Your child often has night terrors, sleepwalks, or shows unusual sleep behavior. - A child who had no previous issues staying dry overnight begins to experience bedwetting unexpectedly. - You suspect your child has restless legs syndrome or another sleep disorder. - Your teenager's sleep pattern is out of sync with school requirements, and simple behavioral adjustments aren't enough to fix it. - You feel overwhelmed, burned out, or uncertain about what to do next. Pediatric sleep problems are incredibly common, well-studied, and treatable. Asking for help is not a failure. It's one of the smartest things you can do for your child and your family. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Infographic-Image-8-1024x765.png) [When To Call The Pediatrician Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/When-To-Call-The-Pediatrician-Infographic.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/When-To-Call-The-Pediatrician-Infographic.png) ## **You're Not Failing. You're Fighting for Better Nights.** If there's one thing I want you to take away from this article, it's this: your child's sleep problems are solvable. Solutions may not be immediate (pun intended), and they may not be perfect. But with the right understanding, the right strategies, and a healthy dose of patience and consistency, better nights are absolutely within reach. Start small. Pick one or two changes from this article and commit to them for at least two weeks before re-evaluating. Sleep habits take time to shift in children and adults alike. Progress is the goal, not perfection. ### **Ready to get to the bottom of your child's sleep problems?** If you find yourself stuck, overwhelmed, or in need of a professional opinion, don’t navigate your situation alone. Move from uncertainty to understanding—take the first step toward the answers and support you deserve. [**Schedule an appointment** ](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)with our team and let's build a plan that fits your child, your family, and your life. Call our office at (724) 733-5757, or visit us [**online** ](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)to request an appointment. You can also reach out to me directly via email at: [**DrCarosso@aol.com**](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). My team and I would be honored to walk this road alongside you. A better night's sleep can start with one conversation. ***You're doing a wonderful job***! Even on the hard nights, especially on the hard nights, you are showing up for your kiddo. That matters more than you know. God bless you and your family. *— Dr. John Carosso*, Psy.D --- ### **Article FAQ** **What should I do if my child won't sleep?** Start by identifying the underlying cause rather than jumping straight to tips and tricks. Common drivers include sleep-onset associations (needing to be rocked, held, or nursed to fall asleep), too much screen time before bed, nighttime anxiety, an overtired child who has missed their sleep window, or an undiagnosed medical issue like sleep apnea. Choose one or two targeted changes based on what fits your child's situation, apply them consistently for at least two weeks, and talk to your pediatrician if the problems persist. **What is the 5-3-3 rule for sleep?** The 5-3-3 rule is a night-weaning framework typically used for babies 4 to 6 months and older. After bedtime, you wait at least 5 hours before the first nighttime feeding, then at least 3 hours before the next, and another 3 hours after that. If your baby wakes between those intervals, you use a soothing method like gentle patting or shushing instead of feeding. This approach helps babies gradually consolidate longer stretches of nighttime sleep. Always check with your pediatrician before starting any night-weaning method to make sure your baby is gaining weight appropriately. **Do kids with ADHD have a challenging time sleeping?** Yes, and the numbers are striking. Research indicates that at least 50 percent of children with ADHD experience significant sleep problems. The same executive function deficits that make it hard for these kids to stay organized and manage impulses during the day also make it incredibly difficult to quiet racing thoughts and settle their bodies at night. Stimulant medications can further delay sleep onset if the timing or dosage isn't optimized. On top of that, comorbid conditions like restless legs syndrome and anxiety are more common in children with ADHD, compounding the challenge. **What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety in kids?** The 3-3-3 rule is a simple grounding technique that helps children manage anxiety by redirecting their attention to the present moment. Have your child name three things they can see and three sounds they can hear, and then move three parts of their body (wiggle toes, shrug shoulders, tap fingers). This sensory shift interrupts the cycle of escalating worry and calms the brain's fight-or-flight response. It works especially well at bedtime, when the quiet darkness can amplify anxious thoughts. Practice it together during calm moments so your child has the skill ready when they need it. **What to give kids instead of melatonin?** Several natural alternatives have some evidence behind them. Magnesium glycinate supports muscle relaxation and may promote calmness before bed. Chamomile tea is a gentle, caffeine-free option with mild calming properties. Tart cherry juice is one of the few natural food sources of melatonin. Foods rich in tryptophan, like turkey, bananas, oats, and dairy products, may also support natural sleep-hormone production when eaten as part of a balanced evening snack. Consistent bedtime routines, a cool and dark sleep environment, and daily physical activity often improve long-term sleep quality more than any supplement. **What foods help kids fall asleep faster?** Foods that contain tryptophan, an amino acid that supports melatonin production, can help prepare your child's body for sleep. Suitable options include turkey, chicken, bananas, oats, dairy products like yogurt and warm milk, almonds, and pumpkin seeds. Foods naturally rich in melatonin, such as tart cherries, tomatoes, and rice, may also offer a mild benefit in promoting better sleep quality and helping regulate sleep patterns. Aim for a light, non-sugary snack about 30 minutes before bedtime if your child is hungry. Avoid caffeine (including chocolate and hot cocoa) and sugary snacks in the hours leading up to bed, as both can delay sleep onset. **Why is my 5-year-old fighting sleep?** Several things typically converge at this age. Starting kindergarten introduces mental and social exhaustion that can paradoxically make it harder to wind down. Many 5-year-olds have recently stopped taking their daytime nap, and if their bedtime hasn't been adjusted earlier to compensate, they are left with little energy by evening, which triggers the overtired "second wind" that resembles hyperactivity. Nighttime fears also tend to peak during the preschool and early school-age years as imagination develops. Finally, limit-testing and independence-seeking are developmentally normal at this stage. A consistent routine with clear, loving boundaries is your best tool. **What is the Supernanny sleep technique?** The Supernanny technique for sleep separation is a gradual method for helping children learn to fall asleep without a parent in the room. On the first few nights, you sit or lie beside your child's bed while they fall asleep, offering minimal interaction. Every few nights, you move your position slightly farther away: from beside the bed, to the middle of the room, to the doorway, and eventually outside the room. The process typically takes two to three weeks. It's especially effective for children who experience separation anxiety at bedtime or who have become dependent on a parent's presence to fall asleep. **What is the 10-3-2-1 rule for sleep?** The 10-3-2-1 rule is a simple countdown framework that helps older kids, teenagers, and even adults set up their evening for better sleep. It works like this: no caffeine 10 hours before bed, no food or sugary drinks 3 hours before bed, no homework or mentally stimulating work 2 hours before bed, and no screens 1 hour before bed. Each step removes a common sleep disruptor at the right point in the evening, giving the brain and body time to wind down naturally. It's easy to remember, works well as a household standard rather than a punishment, and addresses the primary culprits behind sleep-onset problems in school-age children and teens, such as excessive screen time, irregular sleep schedules, and stimulating activities before bedtime. **Is there a sleep regression at age 5 or 7?** Yes. Sleep regressions don't end in toddlerhood. Many children experience noticeable sleep disruptions around ages 3, 5, and 7, often triggered by major developmental milestones like starting school, expanding social worlds, or cognitive growth spurts that leave the brain overactive at night. Illness, travel, schedule changes, and life transitions such as a new sibling, a family move, or parental separation can also set them off. These regressions typically resolve within 2 to 4 weeks if you hold steady on your established routines. The most important thing is to avoid creating new sleep habits during the disruption, because letting a 5-year-old start sleeping in your bed "just this once" can quickly become a pattern that's much harder to undo. ### ADHD versus Anxiety in Children: How to Tell the Difference (And Why It Matters) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:47.000Z ### Article at a Glance - ADHD and anxiety share many of the same visible behaviors in children, including trouble focusing, restlessness, emotional outbursts, and task avoidance. - The core difference is what’s driving the behavior: ADHD is a brain-wiring issue, while anxiety is a worry issue. - ADHD symptoms stay consistent across all settings. Anxiety symptoms tend to fluctuate based on stress and situation. - Up to 50% of children with ADHD also have an anxiety disorder, making accurate diagnosis especially important. - Untreated ADHD often causes anxiety over time as children accumulate negative experiences at school and with peers. - Girls with inattentive ADHD are frequently misdiagnosed with anxiety because their symptoms are quiet rather than disruptive. - Treating ADHD first often reduces anxiety when both conditions are present, but they should both be monitored. - A comprehensive evaluation, not a quick checklist, is the only reliable way to tell the difference and build the right treatment plan. #### Table of Contents Show - - [Article at a Glance](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Article%5Fat%5Fa%5FGlance) - [How ADHD and Anxiety Look So Similar in Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#How%5FADHD%5Fand%5FAnxiety%5FLook%5FSo%5FSimilar%5Fin%5FKids) - [How to Tell If Its ADHD or Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#How%5Fto%5FTell%5FIf%5FIts%5FADHD%5For%5FAnxiety) - [Could ADHD Be Mistaken for Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Could%5FADHD%5FBe%5FMistaken%5Ffor%5FAnxiety) - [Can Untreated ADHD Cause Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Can%5FUntreated%5FADHD%5FCause%5FAnxiety) - [Can a Child Have Both ADHD and Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Can%5Fa%5FChild%5FHave%5FBoth%5FADHD%5Fand%5FAnxiety) - [What ADHD vs Anxiety Looks Like at Different Ages](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#What%5FADHD%5Fvs%5FAnxiety%5FLooks%5FLike%5Fat%5FDifferent%5FAges) - - [Preschool Ages 3%E2%80%935](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Preschool%5FAges%5F3%E2%80%935) - [Elementary School Ages 6%E2%80%9311](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Elementary%5FSchool%5FAges%5F6%E2%80%9311) - [Tweens and Teens Ages 12%E2%80%9317](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Tweens%5Fand%5FTeens%5FAges%5F12%E2%80%9317) - [How ADHD and Anxiety Are Diagnosed](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#How%5FADHD%5Fand%5FAnxiety%5FAre%5FDiagnosed) - - [What a Good Evaluation Includes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#What%5Fa%5FGood%5FEvaluation%5FIncludes) - [What Parents Can Do to Prepare](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#What%5FParents%5FCan%5FDo%5Fto%5FPrepare) - [Will ADHD Meds Help with Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Will%5FADHD%5FMeds%5FHelp%5Fwith%5FAnxiety) - [Practical Strategies for Parents](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Practical%5FStrategies%5Ffor%5FParents) - - [For Focus and Organization Especially Helpful for ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#For%5FFocus%5Fand%5FOrganization%5FEspecially%5FHelpful%5Ffor%5FADHD) - [For Worry and Overwhelm Especially Helpful for Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#For%5FWorry%5Fand%5FOverwhelm%5FEspecially%5FHelpful%5Ffor%5FAnxiety) - [For Both ADHD and Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#For%5FBoth%5FADHD%5Fand%5FAnxiety) - [When to Seek Help](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#When%5Fto%5FSeek%5FHelp) - - [Take the first step](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Take%5Fthe%5Ffirst%5Fstep) - [Article FAQ](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-versus-anxiety-in-children/#Article%5FFAQ) Here's a scene I see in my office all the time: a parent sits down, takes a breath, and says, "My child can't focus, they're restless, they melt down over homework, so it must be ADHD, right?" Maybe. But here's the thing. Anxiety can look ***exactly*** the same way. A child who can't sit still might be hyperactive. Or they might be so consumed by worry that their body can't settle down. A child who "zones out" in class might have an attention deficit. Or their mind might be racing with fears about saying the wrong thing. Same behaviors on the outside, but very different things are happening on the inside. As a child psychologist with over 30 years of experience evaluating kids right here in the Pittsburgh area, the question of ADHD versus anxiety is something that comes up all the time. These two conditions are among the most commonly confused in children. Missing the distinctions between the two not only delays the right treatment but can also make the situation worse. So let's untangle this issue together. I'll explain how ADHD and anxiety overlap, how they're different, and how to get your child the help they need. ## How ADHD and Anxiety Look So Similar in Kids Before we discuss the differences, let's be honest about why the situation is so confusing. ADHD and anxiety share a surprising number of overlapping symptoms, and they can fool even experienced teachers and clinicians. Both conditions can show up as: - **Trouble focusing.** Whether it's ADHD-driven distractibility or anxiety-driven mental preoccupation, the result looks the same: a child who can't seem to pay attention. - **Restlessness and fidgeting.** Kids with ADHD fidget because their brains crave stimulation. Kids with anxiety fidget because their bodies are wound up with nervous energy. From across the classroom? Same behavior. - **Emotional outbursts.** Meltdowns, irritability, crying over "nothing." Both conditions can lead a child to exceed their emotional limits. - **Sleep problems.** ADHD makes it difficult to wind down. Anxiety fills bedtime with racing thoughts and fears. Either way, your child isn't sleeping well. - **Avoiding tasks.** A child with ADHD avoids boring, effortful work. A child with anxiety avoids anything that feels threatening or overwhelming. Both kids end up not doing the homework. See the problem? When you're looking at behavior alone, especially in a busy classroom or a hectic household, these two conditions can be nearly impossible to tell apart. And to make things even more complicated? A child can have both. In fact, research shows that up to 50% of children with ADHD also meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder. So it's not always one or the other. Sometimes it's both at once. ## How to Tell If It's ADHD or Anxiety If the surface-level behaviors appear similar, how can we determine what is truly happening? The key is to look *underneath* the behavior, at what's driving it. Here's the simplest way I explain it to parents: **ADHD is a brain-wiring issue. Anxiety is a worry issue.** Both affect focus and behavior, but for entirely different reasons. Let me break that down with a side-by-side comparison: | **ADHD** | **Anxiety** | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Brain is understimulated; it seeks novelty and excitement. | Brain is overstimulated, overwhelmed by fear or worry. | | Difficulty focusing happens across all settings: home, school, activities | Difficulty focusing is often tied to specific stressors or situations. | | Impulsivity and risk-taking are common. | Cautious, avoidant behavior is more typical. | | May miss social cues or blurt things out without thinking | May be hyper-aware of others' reactions and overly self-critical | | Symptoms are consistent and don't come and go based on mood. | Symptoms can fluctuate, worsening during stress and improving when the child feels safe. | | Avoids tasks because they're boring or require sustained effort | Avoids tasks because they trigger worry or fear of failure | [ADHD v. Anxiety Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/adhd%5Fvs%5Fanxiety%5Fchildren%5Finfographic-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/adhd%5Fvs%5Fanxiety%5Fchildren%5Finfographic-1.png) Here's a quick example to bring this scenario to life. Imagine two kids sitting in the same math class; both are distracted and neither is doing their work. ![Two children in a classroom showing different responses to the same task, one restless and distracted (ADHD pattern) and one tense and worried (anxiety pattern)](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Side-by-side-desk-1024x765.png) **Child A (ADHD):** His brain has wandered off because the worksheet is repetitive and unstimulating. He's thinking about recess, his dog, and a YouTube video—all within about ten seconds. He's not focused on his schoolwork. He's checked out and has left it behind mentally. **Child B (Anxiety):** Her brain is locked on her schoolwork—specifically on the fear she might get a bad grade, that the teacher will call on her, or that other kids will think she's stupid. She's not distracted by random thoughts. She is *consumed* by a specific worry. Same behavior. Entirely different internal experience. And the treatment for each child looks completely unique, too. ## Could ADHD Be Mistaken for Anxiety? Absolutely, and it happens more often than you'd think. Here's how the situation typically plays out. A child struggles in school. They seem worried, overwhelmed, and maybe even perfectionistic. A well-meaning provider diagnoses anxiety and starts treatment, perhaps therapy, perhaps medication. But the core problems don't go away, because the real issue was ADHD all along. What happened? The child's anxiety was *real*, but it was secondary. It developed as a *response* to living with undiagnosed ADHD. When you spend years struggling to keep up, forgetting assignments, getting reprimanded by teachers, and watching your peers do things that feel impossible for you, of course you're going to feel anxious. That anxiety is understandable, but it's a symptom of the ADHD, not the root cause. This is especially common in girls. Girls with ADHD are more likely to have the inattentive type, meaning no hyperactivity, no impulsivity, and just quiet difficulty with focus and organization. Because they're not bouncing off the walls, they often get labeled as "anxious" or "spacey" rather than recognized as having ADHD. And that misdiagnosis can follow them for years. Bottom line: if your child has been treated for anxiety but the treatment doesn't seem to be working, or if the anxiety keeps coming back, it's worth asking whether ADHD might be the missing piece of the puzzle. ## Can Untreated ADHD Cause Anxiety? Yes, and this is one of the most important things for parents to understand. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. It affects how the brain manages attention, impulses, and executive functioning. It's not caused by bad parenting, laziness, or a lack of willpower. It's brain wiring. Consider the daily life of a child whose brain functions in this manner, particularly if their ADHD has not yet been identified. Every day brings new challenges: forgetting assignments, losing things, struggling to follow multi-step directions, and getting in trouble for blurting things out. Over time, these repeated struggles create an ideal environment for anxiety to develop. Here's the chain I see play out in my practice, over and over: 1. **The child struggles** with schoolwork, organization, social interactions, or self-control. 2. **Negative feedback piles up** from teachers, parents, coaches, and peers. 3. **Self-doubt sets in.** "Why can't I do what everyone else can do?" 4. **Anxiety emerges.** The child starts to worry constantly about making mistakes, getting in trouble, or falling behind. In other words, the anxiety isn't the problem. It's a downstream consequence of the ADHD. And here's the kicker: if you only treat the anxiety without addressing the underlying ADHD, the anxiety will keep coming back because the root cause hasn't changed. On the flip side, when you *do* treat the ADHD effectively, many children experience a significant reduction in their anxiety because the daily struggles that were feeding the worry are finally being addressed. ## Can a Child Have Both ADHD and Anxiety? Yes, and it's more common than most parents realize. Research consistently shows that about one in four children with ADHD also has a diagnosable anxiety disorder, and some studies put that number even higher, closer to one in two. That includes generalized anxiety, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and specific phobias. When both conditions are present, they tend to feed off each other. The ADHD creates situations that trigger anxiety (missed assignments, social mistakes, poor grades), and the anxiety makes the ADHD symptoms harder to manage because a worried brain has even *less* bandwidth for focus and organization. This is why a thorough evaluation is so critical. If a clinician only screens for one condition, they may miss the other entirely, and a treatment plan that addresses only half the picture won't produce the results your child needs. ## What ADHD vs. Anxiety Looks Like at Different Ages Most articles on this topic seem to miss one important thing: how differently these conditions show up depending on your child's age. A preschooler with ADHD doesn't look like a teenager with ADHD, and the same goes for anxiety. So let's walk through what to watch for at each stage. | **Age Group** | **ADHD Signs** | **Anxiety Signs** | | -------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | Preschool (3–5) | Extreme hyperactivity beyond peers, can't sit for short group activities, dangerous impulsivity, seemingly unable to learn from consequences | Intense separation anxiety, excessive clinginess, meltdowns in new situations, frequent tummy aches, distress over routine changes | | Elementary (6–11) | Can't complete classwork, constantly losing supplies, teacher reports disruption, social struggles from impulsivity, messy backpack and lost papers | Excessive worry about grades, perfectionism and constant erasing, school refusal and nurse visits, trouble sleeping alone, seeks constant reassurance | | Tweens/Teens (12–17) | Chronic procrastination, poor time management, emotional reactivity and frustration, grades don't match intelligence, may mask symptoms at high cost | Social withdrawal, obsessive worry about peers, physical symptoms before school, avoidance of new experiences, perfectionism driven by fear | ### Preschool (Ages 3–5) At this age, all kids are impulsive, active, and emotionally reactive. That's developmentally normal. So it takes a trained eye to distinguish between typical preschool behavior and something more. **ADHD signs at this age** tend to show up as extreme hyperactivity (well beyond what peers are doing), an inability to sit for even short group activities, and a pattern of dangerous impulsivity: running into traffic, climbing things they shouldn't, and seemingly being unable to learn from consequences. **Anxiety signs at this age** often present as intense separation anxiety that doesn't ease with time, excessive clinginess, meltdowns in new situations, frequent physical complaints (tummy aches, headaches), and extreme distress over minor changes in routine. ### Elementary School (Ages 6–11) This is the age when both conditions become much more visible, because school demands expose the gaps. **ADHD signs at this age** include chronic difficulty completing classwork and homework, constant teacher feedback about not paying attention or disrupting others, lost papers and supplies, messy backpacks, and social struggles related to impulsivity (interrupting, not waiting turns, being "too much"). **Anxiety signs at this age** include excessive worry about grades or performance, perfectionism (erasing and rewriting until the paper tears), [school refusal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/strategies-to-address-school-refusal/) or frequent trips to the nurse, difficulty sleeping alone, and a tendency to seek constant reassurance. "Did I do it right? Are you sure?" ### Tweens and Teens (Ages 12–17) By adolescence, both conditions can become more internalized and harder to spot. **ADHD in teens** often looks like chronic procrastination, difficulty with long-term projects, poor time management, emotional reactivity (especially frustration), and academic performance that doesn't match the teen's obvious intelligence. Some teens develop compensatory strategies that mask their ADHD, but at a high internal cost. **Anxiety in teens** can present as social withdrawal, obsessive worry about peer perception, physical symptoms (chest tightness, nausea before school), avoidance of new experiences, and, in some cases, [panic attacks](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/). Anxious teens may also become perfectionistic overachievers, driven not by ambition but by terror of failure. At every age, the through line is the same: look *beneath* the behavior to understand what's driving it. [ADHD v. Anxiety at Different Ages Infographic](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/adhd%5Fanxiety%5Fby%5Fage%5Ftriptych-1.png)[Download](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/adhd%5Fanxiety%5Fby%5Fage%5Ftriptych-1.png) ## How ADHD and Anxiety Are Diagnosed If you're reading this article and thinking, "This sounds like my child," then the next step is a comprehensive evaluation. Could you please describe what that process entails? I'll guide you through it, as I think knowing what to expect eases some of the stress. ![Parents and child meeting with a psychologist for an ADHD and anxiety evaluation in a warm, supportive office setting.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Therapy-Couch-1024x765.png) ### What a Good Evaluation Includes A solid evaluation isn't a ten-minute checklist at a pediatrician's office. It typically involves: - **A detailed clinical interview** with both you (the parent) and your child. I want to hear about your child's history, daily struggles, what triggers the behaviors, and how things look across different settings. - **Standardized rating scales.** Tools like the Vanderbilt Assessment Scale (for ADHD) and the SCARED questionnaire (for anxiety) help measure symptom severity. These are often completed by parents *and* teachers to get a fuller picture. - **Behavioral observations.** How does your child behave during the evaluation itself? Do they seem restless? Worried? Distracted? - **Developmental and medical history** to rule out other possible causes and identify any co-occurring conditions. - **Input from multiple sources.** Teachers, school counselors, and other caregivers can provide perspectives that parents might not see at home. ### What Parents Can Do to Prepare Before the evaluation, spend a week or two observing your child's behavior more closely. Ask yourself: When do the problems happen? Are they consistent across all settings, or do they show up mainly at school, at home, or in social situations? Keeping a brief daily log, even just a few notes on your phone, gives the evaluating clinician incredibly useful information. Furthermore, don't hesitate to ask your child's teacher for their observations. Teachers see your child in a structured environment for hours every day, and their input is invaluable. ## Will ADHD Meds Help with Anxiety? This is one of the most common questions I hear from parents, and the answer is: it depends on where the anxiety is coming from. If your child's anxiety is *secondary* to ADHD, meaning it developed as a result of the daily struggles caused by untreated ADHD, then yes, treating the ADHD with stimulant medication often leads to a meaningful reduction in anxiety as well. Once the core attention and executive function challenges improve, the situations that were generating all that worry start to resolve, and the anxiety naturally decreases. However, there are two important caveats. First, stimulant medications can sometimes *increase* anxiety in children who have a true, independent anxiety disorder alongside ADHD. This doesn't mean that stimulants are completely ruled out, but it does require the clinician to closely monitor and adjust the treatment plan as necessary. Second, if the anxiety is primary, meaning it exists on its own and not because of ADHD, then ADHD medication alone isn't likely to resolve it. In these cases, your child may benefit from [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/), which is the gold-standard treatment for childhood anxiety disorders, or from an SSRI medication (like sertraline), or from a combination of both. The research is clear on this point: when ADHD and anxiety co-occur, the best outcomes come from treating *both* conditions, not just one. Your child's clinician should be monitoring both sets of symptoms over time and adjusting the plan accordingly. ## Practical Strategies for Parents While you're working toward a diagnosis and treatment plan, there are things you can start doing at home right now that can help a child with *either* ADHD or anxiety, or both. ![Mom and daughter reviewing a visual daily routine checklist on the refrigerator, a practical strategy for managing ADHD and anxiety at home](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Mom-Daughter-Fridge-1024x765.png) ### For Focus and Organization (Especially Helpful for ADHD) **Try the 20-minute rule.** Instead of asking your child to sit and do homework for an hour straight (which feels impossible for a child with ADHD), break it into 20-minute chunks with short breaks in between. Work 20 minutes, take a 5-minute movement break, then come back. You'll be amazed at how much more gets done. **Use visual cues and checklists.** Kids with ADHD respond well to visual structure: color-coded folders, posted daily routines, and checklists on the fridge. Make the expectation visible so your child doesn't have to hold it all in their working memory. **Give one instruction at a time.** Multi-step directions can be particularly challenging for children with ADHD. Instead of "Go upstairs, brush your teeth, put on pajamas, and pick out a book," try one step at a time with a check-in in between. ### For Worry and Overwhelm (Especially Helpful for Anxiety) **Teach the 3-3-3 rule.** When your child feels anxious, have them name three things they can see, three things they can hear, and three things they can physically touch or feel. This simple grounding technique pulls the brain out of the worry spiral and back into the present moment. It's quick, it's portable, and kids can do it anywhere, even in the middle of class. **Validate first, problem-solve second.** When your child is anxious, their brain is in threat mode. Jumping straight to "There's nothing to worry about" actually makes things worse. Instead, try, "I can see you're really worried about your feelings. That makes sense. Let's figure it out together." **Practice gradual exposure.** Avoiding the scary thing feels good in the short term but makes anxiety worse over time. With your child's therapist, work on gradually approaching feared situations in small, manageable steps, building confidence along the way. ### For Both ADHD and Anxiety **Keep routines predictable.** Both ADHD and anxious brains benefit enormously from knowing what comes next. Consistent morning, after-school, and bedtime routines reduce the number of daily decisions and transitions your child has to manage. **Prioritize sleep, exercise, and nutrition.** I know, this sounds basic. But a sleep-deprived child who is sedentary and living on processed food will struggle more with *any* mental health condition. These aren't cures, but they create a foundation that makes everything else work better. **Focus on effort, not outcomes.** Whether your child is battling attention problems or worry, they need to hear that you see how diligently they're trying. "I noticed you really stuck with that homework even when it was tough" goes further than "You got an A." ## When to Seek Help If your child's difficulties with focus, worry, behavior, or emotions are consistently interfering with their ability to function at home, at school, or with friends, it's time to get a professional evaluation. Trust your gut on this. You know your child better than anyone. And here's something I want to be really direct about: don't wait. The longer ADHD or anxiety goes unidentified, the more your child accumulates negative experiences (academic struggles, social rejection, self-doubt) that become harder to undo later. Early identification leads to early intervention, and early intervention leads to better outcomes. Period. ### Take the first step Whether you’re in the Pittsburgh area, you live elsewhere in Pennsylvania, or you're even out of state, don’t navigate your situation alone. Move from uncertainty to understanding—take the first step toward the answers and support you deserve. As the Clinical Director and psychologist for Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, [I provide comprehensive evaluations for ADHD, anxiety, autism spectrum disorder, and other co-occurring conditions ](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)with minimal wait time, ensuring you receive the necessary guidance, clarity, and documentation needed to proceed with confidence. **Feel free to reach out to me directly at: DrCarosso@aol.com. You can also visit Autism Centers of Pittsburgh at www.acpitt.com or call us at (724) 733-5757 to** [**get started.**](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) For more on these topics, check out my [How We Treat series on depression, anxiety, ADHD, and emotional outbursts.](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-how-we-treat-series-depression-and-anxiety-autism-adhd-and-emotional-outbursts/) God bless you and your family. Dr. Carosso --- ## Article FAQ **Does my child have ADHD or just anxiety?** The key difference is what's driving the behavior. A child with ADHD struggles to focus regardless of the situation because of brain-based difficulty with attention regulation. A child with anxiety may lose focus because their mind is consumed by a specific worry or fear. ADHD symptoms tend to be consistent across all settings, while anxiety-related attention problems often fluctuate based on stress levels. A comprehensive evaluation by a qualified psychologist or pediatrician is the best way to determine which condition is present or whether your child has both. **Can untreated ADHD cause anxiety in children?** Yes. Children with untreated ADHD often experience repeated struggles with schoolwork, social interactions, and behavior expectations. Over time, this pattern of difficulty and negative feedback can lead to chronic worry, self-doubt, and anxiety. Effective treatment of ADHD often leads to a significant reduction in anxiety, as it finally addresses the daily struggles that were fueling the worry. **Could ADHD be misdiagnosed as anxiety?** Yes, and this misdiagnosis happens frequently, especially in girls. Children with the inattentive type of ADHD (no hyperactivity) may appear worried, overwhelmed, or spacey, which can be mistaken for an anxiety disorder. If your child has been treated for anxiety but the treatment isn't producing lasting improvement, it is worth asking whether undiagnosed ADHD could be the underlying issue. **Can a child have both ADHD and anxiety at the same time?** Yes. Research shows that approximately 25 to 50 percent of children with ADHD also meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder. When both conditions are present, they tend to amplify each other. The most effective treatment plans address both ADHD and anxiety together, rather than focusing on only one condition. **Will ADHD medication help with my child's anxiety?** It depends on the source of the anxiety. If your child's anxiety developed as a result of untreated ADHD struggles, then treating the ADHD with stimulant medication often reduces the anxiety as well. However, if the anxiety is an independent condition, ADHD medication alone may not resolve it, and in some cases stimulants can temporarily increase anxiety symptoms. A clinician should monitor both conditions and adjust the treatment plan as needed. --- ### Adult ADHD in Women: What Nobody Told You—But Really Should Have URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:53.000Z ### Article at a Glance 1. ADHD in women is largely invisible—it presents as internal restlessness, emotional overwhelm, and quiet disorganization rather than the hyperactivity associated with boys, causing most women to go undiagnosed for years or decades. 2. Women with ADHD develop ""masking"—exhausting coping behaviors like perfectionism, overworking, and people-pleasing that make them appear capable on the outside while they are quietly drowning on the inside. 3. Emotional dysregulation is one of the most significant—and most overlooked—features of ADHD in women, including Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which causes intense emotional pain in response to perceived criticism or rejection. 4. ADHD shutdowns (inward neurological collapse) and meltdowns (outward emotional eruption) are common in women with ADHD and are regulation events, not character flaws—they have predictable causes and respond to targeted support. 5. Hormones matter enormously: estrogen directly regulates dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in mood and attention, so women experience predictable ADHD worsening during the premenstrual phase, postpartum period, and perimenopause—a dimension of ADHD that is critically underrecognized. 6. Undiagnosed ADHD creates a shame spiral—years of unexplained struggle lead women to conclude they are lazy, broken, or not enough, when the real explanation is neurological, not personal. 7. ADHD burnout—the complete depletion of mental and emotional resources from years of managing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), masking symptoms, and compensating for challenges without support—is especially common in women and is a signal to seek help, not push harder. 8. ADHD is one of the most treatable conditions in mental health; stimulant medication, CBT, ADHD coaching, and targeted lifestyle strategies (exercise, sleep, and external structure) can produce meaningful, lasting improvement in quality of life. 9. Many women with ADHD go undiagnosed because they are misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or other conditions—treating those without addressing the underlying ADHD leaves the root cause untouched. 10. The ADHD brain carries genuine strengths—creativity, hyperfocus, empathy, resilience, and crisis competence—and women who get the right diagnosis and support often discover they are not a broken neurotypical but a remarkable different kind of thinker. #### Table of Contents Show - - - [Article at a Glance](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Article%5Fat%5Fa%5FGlance) - [What Does Adult ADHD in Women Actually Look Like](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FDoes%5FAdult%5FADHD%5Fin%5FWomen%5FActually%5FLook%5FLike) - - [Attention and Focus Challenges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Attention%5Fand%5FFocus%5FChallenges) - [Time and Organization Struggles](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Time%5Fand%5FOrganization%5FStruggles) - [What Does ADHD Feel Like Inside Emotional and Internal Symptoms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FDoes%5FADHD%5FFeel%5FLike%5FInside%5FEmotional%5Fand%5FInternal%5FSymptoms) - - [What Does an ADHD Shutdown Look Like in Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FDoes%5Fan%5FADHD%5FShutdown%5FLook%5FLike%5Fin%5FWomen) - [What Does an ADHD Meltdown Look Like in Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FDoes%5Fan%5FADHD%5FMeltdown%5FLook%5FLike%5Fin%5FWomen) - [What Are the Personality Traits of a Woman With ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FAre%5Fthe%5FPersonality%5FTraits%5Fof%5Fa%5FWoman%5FWith%5FADHD) - [Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria The ADHD Symptom Nobody Talks About](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Rejection%5FSensitive%5FDysphoria%5FThe%5FADHD%5FSymptom%5FNobody%5FTalks%5FAbout) - [ADHD and Sleep A Complicated Relationship](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#ADHD%5Fand%5FSleep%5FA%5FComplicated%5FRelationship) - [Why So Many Women with ADHD Go Undiagnosed And What Gets Missed](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Why%5FSo%5FMany%5FWomen%5Fwith%5FADHD%5FGo%5FUndiagnosed%5FAnd%5FWhat%5FGets%5FMissed) - - [The Symptom Difference Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5FSymptom%5FDifference%5FProblem) - [The %22Lost Girls%22 of ADHD How a Generation of Women Was Left Behind](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5F%22Lost%5FGirls%22%5Fof%5FADHD%5FHow%5Fa%5FGeneration%5Fof%5FWomen%5FWas%5FLeft%5FBehind) - [The Masking Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5FMasking%5FProblem) - [What Are the Hidden Signs of ADHD in Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FAre%5Fthe%5FHidden%5FSigns%5Fof%5FADHD%5Fin%5FWomen) - [The Misdiagnosis Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5FMisdiagnosis%5FProblem) - [What Can Be Mistaken for ADHD in Adult Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FCan%5FBe%5FMistaken%5Ffor%5FADHD%5Fin%5FAdult%5FWomen) - - [Anxiety Disorders](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Anxiety%5FDisorders) - [Depression](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Depression) - [Bipolar Disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Bipolar%5FDisorder) - [Borderline Personality Disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Borderline%5FPersonality%5FDisorder) - [Thyroid Disorders and Hormonal Conditions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Thyroid%5FDisorders%5Fand%5FHormonal%5FConditions) - [High-Functioning ADHD When You Look Fine But Feel Like Youre Drowning](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#High-Functioning%5FADHD%5FWhen%5FYou%5FLook%5FFine%5FBut%5FFeel%5FLike%5FYoure%5FDrowning) - [How ADHD Affects Daily Life Relationships and Intimacy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#How%5FADHD%5FAffects%5FDaily%5FLife%5FRelationships%5Fand%5FIntimacy) - - [Daily Life](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Daily%5FLife) - [Careers and Work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Careers%5Fand%5FWork) - - [What Is a Good Career for a Woman With ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FIs%5Fa%5FGood%5FCareer%5Ffor%5Fa%5FWoman%5FWith%5FADHD) - [Relationships](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Relationships) - [Intimacy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Intimacy) - [ADHD Burnout What It Is and Why Women Are Especially Vulnerable](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#ADHD%5FBurnout%5FWhat%5FIt%5FIs%5Fand%5FWhy%5FWomen%5FAre%5FEspecially%5FVulnerable) - [Why Does ADHD Seem to Get Worse as Women Get Older](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Why%5FDoes%5FADHD%5FSeem%5Fto%5FGet%5FWorse%5Fas%5FWomen%5FGet%5FOlder) - - [What Are the Symptoms of ADHD in Midlife Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FAre%5Fthe%5FSymptoms%5Fof%5FADHD%5Fin%5FMidlife%5FWomen) - [When Does ADHD Peak in Females](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#When%5FDoes%5FADHD%5FPeak%5Fin%5FFemales) - [The Estrogen Connection](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5FEstrogen%5FConnection) - [Increasing Life Demands](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Increasing%5FLife%5FDemands) - [The Shame Spiral Why Women With Undiagnosed ADHD Blame Themselves](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#The%5FShame%5FSpiral%5FWhy%5FWomen%5FWith%5FUndiagnosed%5FADHD%5FBlame%5FThemselves) - [What Actually Helps Treatment and Coping Strategies That Work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FActually%5FHelps%5FTreatment%5Fand%5FCoping%5FStrategies%5FThat%5FWork) - - [What to Expect From a Professional ADHD Evaluation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5Fto%5FExpect%5FFrom%5Fa%5FProfessional%5FADHD%5FEvaluation) - [Medication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Medication) - - [Whats the Best First-Line Treatment for ADHD in Women](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Whats%5Fthe%5FBest%5FFirst-Line%5FTreatment%5Ffor%5FADHD%5Fin%5FWomen) - [Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Cognitive%5FBehavioral%5FTherapy%5FCBT) - [ADHD Coaching A Practical Partner in the Process](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#ADHD%5FCoaching%5FA%5FPractical%5FPartner%5Fin%5Fthe%5FProcess) - [Whats the Best Lifestyle for Someone With ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Whats%5Fthe%5FBest%5FLifestyle%5Ffor%5FSomeone%5FWith%5FADHD) - [Can You Manage ADHD Without Medication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Can%5FYou%5FManage%5FADHD%5FWithout%5FMedication) - [What Supplements May Help With ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#What%5FSupplements%5FMay%5FHelp%5FWith%5FADHD) - [Accommodations](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#Accommodations) - [ADHD Strengths and Superpowers The Other Side of the Story](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#ADHD%5FStrengths%5Fand%5FSuperpowers%5FThe%5FOther%5FSide%5Fof%5Fthe%5FStory) - [You Deserve Answers%E2%80%94Heres Your Next Step](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#You%5FDeserve%5FAnswers%E2%80%94Heres%5FYour%5FNext%5FStep) - - [About Dr Carosso](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adult-adhd-in-women/#About%5FDr%5FCarosso) ![Image14](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/image14-1.png) --- You've probably Googled something like this before. "Why can't I get organized no matter how hard I try?" or "Why do I always feel behind?" or even, "Am I lazy, or is something actually wrong with me?" During your late-night search, you came across the term "ADHD" and had a moment of realization. "That sounds like me." *Here's the thing: you might be right.* For decades, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) was considered a "boy thing"—the wild kid bouncing off the walls, impossible to ignore, impossible to miss. But that picture has always been incomplete. For millions of women, ADHD presents a very different image. The woman dealing with ADHD may often appear perfectly capable on the outside, but inside she's quietly exhausted; intelligent, compassionate, and diligent—but still unable to keep up. This picture might resemble you. I've written this article for every woman who has ever wondered or been curious. We're going to cover what adult ADHD in women looks like, why so many go undiagnosed (sometimes for years or even decades), which symptoms might be confused with other issues, the impact of ADHD on relationships and everyday life, and, most importantly, what resources and strategies can make a difference. We'll also discuss the unique strengths of an ADHD brain, as there's more to this story than just struggle. Let's get into it. ## **What Does Adult ADHD in Women Actually Look Like?** Here's the first thing to understand: ADHD in women rarely looks like what you see in the movies. Forget the bouncing-off-the-walls stereotype. In women, ADHD tends to be quieter, more internal, and a whole lot easier to miss—even by the women who have it. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain manages attention, impulse control, organization, and emotional regulation. Everyone with ADHD has trouble with what psychologists call "executive function"—the mental skills that help you plan, prioritize, start tasks, manage time, and regulate your emotions. But how those difficulties show up can look completely unique depending on the person—and research consistently shows that women and men experience ADHD differently, with women often exhibiting more inattentive symptoms and men more hyperactive symptoms. So, what does ADHD look like in women? Let's break it down. ### **Attention and Focus Challenges** This is probably the most recognized symptom—but even here, it's more nuanced than people think. Women with ADHD often describe their attention as inconsistent rather than simply absent. Some things they can focus on intensely—almost obsessively. Other things—especially anything routine, repetitive, or unstimulating—feel nearly impossible to engage with. You might recognize yourself in some of these: - Zoning out in conversations even when you're genuinely trying to listen - Starting projects with enthusiasm and then losing steam before finishing them - You are struggling to read long documents or emails—your eyes move, but nothing registers. - Hyperfocusing on something interesting for hours while more important tasks pile up - Forgetting what you walked into a room for—constantly - Missing details, making careless errors, losing things you use every single day ![An infographic that visually contrasts the 'classic' ADHD stereotype versus how ADHD actually presents in adult women.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/an-infographic-that-visually-contrasts-the-classi.png) That last item—hyperfocus—trips many women up. They think, "I can't have ADHD because I can concentrate for hours on things I love." But hyperfocus is a hallmark feature of ADHD, not evidence against it. The ADHD brain doesn't struggle to pay attention to everything—it struggles to regulate where attention goes, which can lead to difficulties in managing time and organization, especially for women with ADHD who often describe having a complicated relationship with time. ### **Time and Organization Struggles** Women with ADHD often describe having a complicated relationship with time. Not only do they often run late, but they also experience a profound disconnection from the actual functioning of time. Future deadlines feel abstract and unreal until they're suddenly, terrifyingly urgent. This syndrome is sometimes called "time blindness," and it's one of the most disruptive and least talked about features of adult ADHD in women. Common experiences include: - Chronic lateness, even when you really tried to be on time - Underestimating how long tasks take—every single time - Losing track of days, weeks, and appointments - A perpetually cluttered home, car, or workspace despite repeated attempts to organize - Paying bills late doesn't stem from financial difficulties, but rather from the inability to complete the task - Starting to clean one room and somehow ending up reorganizing a closet across the house ![This is an infographic that illustrates 'time blindness'—how the ADHD brain perceives time vs. real time—a concept that is much clearer visually than in words.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-infographic-that-illustrates-time-blin.png) ## **What Does ADHD Feel Like Inside? Emotional and Internal Symptoms** ![This is an image of a sad and overwhelmed woman, staring blindly across a room. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-image-of-a-sad-and-overwhelmed-woman-u.png) This stage is where ADHD in women gets distinct and really misunderstood. Women with ADHD often experience intense emotional reactions that feel disproportionate to the situation. A minor criticism can feel devastating. A small change in plans can trigger real distress, leading to feelings of anxiety or overwhelm that can significantly impact daily functioning and relationships. Frustration can escalate quickly. Emotional dysregulation, which refers to difficulties in managing emotional responses, is one of the most important and overlooked aspects of ADHD in women. Drama or immaturity is not the issue. It's a genuine neurological difference in how the brain processes and regulates emotional responses, which can make it difficult to manage emotions effectively, especially in social situations and relationships, such as maintaining friendships or dealing with conflict. Furthermore, compared to men, women with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience: - Anxiety—often chronic and frequently severe - Depression—sometimes the direct result of years of unmanaged ADHD - Low self-esteem—built up over years of feeling like a failure - Rejection sensitive dysphoria—an intense emotional response to perceived criticism or rejection - Internal restlessness—a feeling of being "on" all the time, never truly relaxing This internal restlessness holds significant importance. People often assume that women with ADHD cannot exhibit the classic "bouncing off the walls" hyperactivity. But hyperactivity in women is often entirely internal—racing thoughts, mental noise, a constant hum of anxiety, and unfinished mental to-do lists. ### **What Does an ADHD Shutdown Look Like in Women?** An ADHD shutdown is what happens when the brain becomes so overwhelmed by demands, stimulation, or emotional input that it simply stops processing and shuts down to protect itself. For women, ADHD shutdown often looks like going completely quiet and withdrawn, being unable to respond to texts or calls even from people you love, staring at a task you need to do but being entirely unable to start, feeling mentally "frozen" or "offline," and retreating to bed or a quiet space and staying there—not out of sadness, but out of sheer depletion. ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a condition that affects focus and self-control. Shutdown is different from depression, and it's different from avoidance. It's a temporary state of neurological overwhelm. Understanding that it has a name—and a cause—can be enormously validating for women who have spent years feeling ashamed of it. ### **What Does an ADHD Meltdown Look Like in Women?** While a shutdown is an inward collapse, an ADHD meltdown is its outward counterpart. It happens when emotional input exceeds the brain's capacity to regulate—and it comes out. ADHD meltdowns in women can include sudden, intense crying that feels impossible to stop; explosive anger or irritability over something that seems minor; saying things in the moment that you later deeply regret; physical symptoms like shaking, a racing heart, or feeling unable to breathe; and an overwhelming need to escape the situation immediately. The meltdown is almost always followed by exhaustion and shame—which is itself a signal that it was a regulation event, not a character flaw. Many women with ADHD describe spending enormous energy trying to prevent meltdowns through rigid control and over-planning, which is its own exhausting cycle. Recognizing the pattern—and having support strategies in place—makes an enormous difference in managing ADHD symptoms and reducing the likelihood of future meltdowns. ### **What Are the Personality Traits of a Woman With ADHD?** Women with ADHD are often described—by themselves and by others—as creative, passionate, and deeply empathetic. They tend to feel everything more intensely. They often have a fierce sense of justice and care deeply about the people and causes they love. Many are extraordinarily funny because the ADHD brain makes quick, lateral connections that produce genuine wit. At the same time, these women are frequently misunderstood. Emotional intensity is often criticized and labeled as "too much." Their tendency to move between interests looks like inconsistency, which can lead others to perceive them as unfocused or unreliable in their commitments. Their directness reads as bluntness. People interpret their difficulty with time and organization as indifference. In reality, they care deeply, which contributes to their feelings of overwhelm. Truly understanding a woman with ADHD involves embracing two things at the same time: 1. Appreciating her many positive traits 2. Acknowledging her challenges and struggles Both are equally valid, and neither negates the other. ### **Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: The ADHD Symptom Nobody Talks About** Of all the symptoms associated with ADHD in women, rejection sensitive dysphoria—or RSD—may be the one that causes the most pain. It’s also the one that almost never gets mentioned. Here's the deal with RSD: it's an intense, often overwhelming emotional response to the perception of criticism, rejection, or failure. Not actual rejection—perceived rejection. A tone of voice. A delayed text reply. A colleague's lack of smile in the hallway was observed. A comment that wasn't even meant as criticism but landed that way. For women with ADHD, this emotional response isn't just feeling a little hurt. It can feel genuinely devastating—a sudden flood of shame, anger, or grief that seems completely out of proportion to what just happened. And because it passes relatively quickly (usually within hours), it often is dismissed—by others and by the woman herself—as overreacting or being "too sensitive." RSD shows up in some very specific ways in daily life: - Avoiding situations where you might be evaluated or criticized—presentations, job interviews, social gatherings - People-pleasing to an exhausting degree involves saying yes to everything, never setting limits, and working twice as hard as necessary to avoid any chance of disapproval. - Difficulty accepting constructive feedback at work, even when you know it's valid - Replaying conversations for hours or days afterward, certain you said the wrong thing - You are withdrawing from relationships preemptively—pulling back before someone can reject you first. - An intense need for reassurance from the people closest to you ![This is an infographic explaining RSD as an abstract concept. A visual showing the trigger-response-recovery cycle makes it concrete and immediately recognizable to readers.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-infographic-explaining-rsd-as-an-abstra.png) The relationship between RSD and low self-esteem in women with ADHD is significant. Years of perceived failures, criticism, and not measuring up lead to a perpetually braced nervous system. Over time, many women with ADHD develop a kind of anticipatory shame—a background hum of "I'm going to mess my life up," which can negatively affect everything in their lives. The good news is that RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, responds to treatment. Both medication and therapy can meaningfully reduce the intensity of RSD responses. But it must be identified first, which requires someone asking the right questions during a proper evaluation, such as inquiring about the patient's emotional responses and any related symptoms that may indicate RSD. ### **ADHD and Sleep: A Complicated Relationship** Women with ADHD often experience sleep problems, making them worthy of a separate discussion, rather than merely a brief mention in a list of coping strategies. The relationship between ADHD and disrupted sleep is profound. Most adults with ADHD have what's called a delayed sleep phase—meaning their brain's internal clock naturally pushes toward staying up late and sleeping late. In a world that runs on early mornings, this behavior creates chronic conflict. Women with ADHD frequently struggle with the following outside of bedtime: - The racing thoughts at night make falling asleep feel impossible—the brain finally has quiet and suddenly produces every thought it held back during the day. - Difficulty winding down—the transition from "on" to "off" is harder for an ADHD brain. - Waking in the night with thoughts, worries, or the sudden memory of something important - Feeling genuinely exhausted but unable to sleep—a paradox that is deeply frustrating - Oversleeping on weekends to catch up, which worsens the cycle Sleep deprivation and ADHD create a vicious cycle. Poor sleep makes ADHD symptoms significantly worse—attention, emotional regulation, and executive function all deteriorate with insufficient rest. Worsening ADHD symptoms make it harder to maintain the routines and healthy wind-down habits that support optimal sleep. And around it goes. For many women, addressing sleep through behavioral strategies, good sleep hygiene, and, in some cases, medication is one of the highest-leverage interventions available. When sleep improves, almost everything else becomes a little more manageable, leading to better emotional regulation, increased focus, and improved overall quality of life for women with ADHD. ## **Why So Many Women with ADHD Go Undiagnosed (And What Gets Missed)** ![This is an image of a successful young woman illustrating masking and the performance of capability—the outward competence hiding internal struggle that defines this section.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-image-of-a-successful-young-woman-illus.png) Ironically, half of the population routinely overlooks one of the most common brain-based conditions in the world. Here's the deal: early ADHD research was conducted almost exclusively on young boys. The diagnostic criteria that came out of that research reflected what ADHD looks like in boys—namely, hyperactive, impulsive, disruptive behavior that's hard for teachers and parents to ignore. Girls were largely left out of the picture. Today, we continue to feel the consequences of that research gap. ### **The Symptom Difference Problem** Boys with ADHD tend to externalize—they act out, they disrupt, and they demand attention. Girls with ADHD tend to internalize—they zone out, they worry, and they quietly struggle. A fidgety boy who can't sit still gets referred for an evaluation. A daydreamy girl who seems distracted is told to pay better attention. Same underlying condition. Very different response. By the time these girls reach adulthood, people have been telling them they're flighty, disorganized, overly emotional, or simply not living up to their potential for years, sometimes even decades. ### **The "Lost Girls" of ADHD: How a Generation of Women Was Left Behind** Researchers and clinicians have begun using the term "lost girls" to describe the generation—actually, generations—of women who grew up with undiagnosed ADHD at a time when the condition was barely recognized in females at all. These are women who were smart enough to compensate, quiet enough not to cause problems, and invisible enough in the research that nobody thought to look. Many of these women are now in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. Some are only now getting their first evaluation—often triggered by a child's diagnosis, a midlife crisis, a job loss, or a relationship that finally fell apart under the weight of unaddressed symptoms. The relief of finally having a name for what they've been experiencing is often profound. But it comes with grief, too—grief for the years spent struggling without understanding, without support, without any of the tools that might have changed things. If this feeling resonates with you, you are not alone. And it is never too late to get answers. ### **The Masking Problem** This one is huge. Women with ADHD are far more likely than men to develop what's called "masking"—a set of coping behaviors designed to hide their symptoms and appear "normal." Masking can look like: - Working twice as hard as everyone else just to achieve the same result - Developing elaborate organizational systems to compensate for a chaotic brain - Being a perfectionist—not because you love perfection, but because you're terrified of what happens if things slip - Studying people around you to figure out how to "act right" in social situations - You tend to say yes to everything because it feels impossible to say no. - I am smiling and holding it together all day—then falling apart at home when no one can see me. Masking, the act of hiding or suppressing one's ADHD symptoms, can be effective in the short term. Women who are able to mask their ADHD symptoms often appear highly functional—succeeding at work, getting excellent grades, and managing households. They show up—they perform. But masking has a cost. A serious one. It burns through enormous mental and emotional energy every single day. Over time, it leads to exhaustion, burnout, and a profound disconnect from one's own authentic self. And because masked ADHD looks so functional on the outside, it almost never gets diagnosed. ### **What Are the Hidden Signs of ADHD in Women?** Because masking can be so effective, the most telling signs of ADHD in women are often the ones that don't look like ADHD at all—perfectionism, anxiety, and chronic overwhelm—all dressed up as a very busy life. Hidden signs to watch for include a history of being labeled "too sensitive" or "too emotional"; chronic exhaustion that isn't explained by physical illness; a pattern of starting things enthusiastically and not finishing them; difficulty with transitions and unexpected changes; extreme difficulty with tasks that feel boring, even when they matter; a sense of always being behind, always almost catching up but never quite there; and a persistent private feeling—despite external success—that you are somehow a fraud. These signs are easy to miss precisely because they're internalized. They don't look like the loud, disruptive ADHD of popular imagination. But they are just as real—and just as worth investigating. ![This is an infographic showing the 8–10 hidden signs of ADHD in women.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-infographic-showing-the-810-hidden-sig.png) ### **The Misdiagnosis Problem** Women with ADHD often show symptoms of anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation instead of hyperactivity, which leads to frequent misdiagnosis of those conditions and leaves the underlying ADHD unaddressed. This matters enormously. Treating anxiety or depression without treating the ADHD that's driving them is like treating the symptoms of a problem without ever resolving the problem itself. The anxiety may improve somewhat. But the disorganization, the time blindness (difficulty perceiving the passage of time), and the executive dysfunction (challenges with planning and decision-making)—those don't budge, which means that without addressing the underlying ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), the individual continues to face significant challenges in daily functioning and overall well-being. And the woman wonders why she's still struggling even though she's "in treatment." *The cruel irony? Many women don't get their ADHD diagnosis until their child is diagnosed—and they recognize themselves in the description. Suddenly, at 35 or 45 or 55, everything makes sense.* ## **What Can Be Mistaken for ADHD in Adult Women?** ![This is a Venn diagram showing the overlapping symptom picture between ADHD and its most common misdiagnoses.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-venn-diagram-showing-the-overlapping-sym.png) This is one of the most-searched questions on this topic—and it's easy to see why. If you've been living with undiagnosed ADHD for years, it's likely that someone along the way gave you a different label. Here are the conditions most frequently confused with ADHD in women—and how to tell them apart. ### **Anxiety Disorders** Anxiety and ADHD overlap so significantly that distinguishing between them can be genuinely difficult—even for experienced clinicians. Both involve difficulty concentrating, restlessness, and sleep problems. But there are meaningful differences. With anxiety, the inability to focus usually stems from worry—your mind is occupied with what might go wrong. With ADHD, the inability to focus is more about the brain's difficulty regulating attention in general—even when you're not worried about anything in particular. Also worth noting: many women with ADHD have anxiety too. The two conditions co-occur frequently, and the anxiety is often a downstream consequence of years of unmanaged ADHD—the result of always feeling behind, always making mistakes, and constantly trying to hold things together. ### **Depression** Depression and ADHD share some surface-level similarities—low motivation, difficulty concentrating, trouble completing tasks, and poor self-esteem. But they're distinct in important ways. Depression is primarily a mood disorder. Its core features are persistent sadness, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, and a pervasive sense of hopelessness. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. Its core features are executive dysfunction, attention regulation problems, and impulsivity—and they're present regardless of mood. That said, depression is one of the most common co-occurring conditions in women with ADHD. Spending years feeling like you can't get your act together—watching other people seem to manage life with ease while you struggle—takes a real toll. Depression often follows. ### **Bipolar Disorder** The emotional intensity and mood swings that accompany ADHD in women can sometimes look like bipolar disorders. The key distinction is duration and pattern. Bipolar disorder involves distinct episodes of elevated or depressed mood that last days to weeks. ADHD-related emotional dysregulation tends to be more reactive—triggered by specific events—and typically resolves much more quickly, sometimes within hours, which contrasts with the longer-lasting mood episodes seen in bipolar disorder. ### **Borderline Personality Disorder** Emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and relationship difficulties are features of both ADHD and borderline personality disorder (BPD). Women with ADHD are sometimes misdiagnosed with BPD, particularly when their emotional reactions are intense or their relationships are turbulent. A thorough evaluation by a qualified psychologist can help differentiate the two. ### **Thyroid Disorders and Hormonal Conditions** Brain fog, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and mood changes can all be symptoms of thyroid dysfunction—and they can look a lot like ADHD. This is one reason a thorough medical workup is important before (or alongside) an ADHD evaluation. Bottom line: if you've been treated for anxiety or depression and still feel like something isn't quite right—like the treatment is helping but not fully addressing what's actually happening—it may be worth asking specifically about ADHD. ## **High-Functioning ADHD: When You Look Fine But Feel Like You're Drowning** This concept doesn't get nearly enough attention—and it's one of the biggest reasons women go undiagnosed. "High-functioning ADHD" refers to individuals whose ADHD symptoms are significant enough to cause real internal struggle, but whose coping skills, intelligence, or life circumstances allow them to appear functional—even successful—from the outside. Sound familiar? The woman with high-functioning ADHD might be a professional with an impressive career. She might be a devoted, attentive mother. She may be the reliable individual at work. However, beneath her capable façade, she is driven by a strong sense of urgency. She stays up until 2 a.m. to complete tasks that should have taken two hours. She uses adrenaline and last-minute panic to get things done. She cancels plans because she is too exhausted. She spends her nights berating herself for what she didn't accomplish during the day. *High-functioning ADHD is real, it's common in women, and it's genuinely exhausting. You are not fine just because you're functioning.* The tragedy is that the very coping skills that allow these women to manage—the perfectionism, the overworking, the relentless compensating—also prevent them from ever getting the help they need, leading to a cycle of burnout and emotional distress that often goes unrecognized by others. From an external perspective, they appear to be in control. Struggling in silence means you have a real condition that deserves real support. ## **How ADHD Affects Daily Life, Relationships, and Intimacy** ADHD doesn't stay neatly contained in one area of life. It ripples out—into relationships, careers, finances, parenting, and the most intimate corners of a woman's daily experience. ### **Daily Life** The daily challenges of adult ADHD in women can feel relentless. It's not just the big things—missed appointments, overdue bills, forgotten commitments. It's the accumulation of a thousand small daily frictions that add up to a life that feels harder than it should. Managing a household with ADHD is its own particular kind of challenge. The dishes. The laundry. The grocery list that never gets made before you're already at the store. These show diligence and concern. They're the predictable result of a brain that struggles to initiate tasks, sustain effort, and manage the invisible organizational demands of everyday life. ### **Careers and Work** In the workplace, ADHD in women often shows up as inconsistent performance—brilliant on creative, stimulating projects but struggling badly with administrative tasks, deadlines, and paperwork. Women with ADHD may be perceived as disorganized, unreliable, or not living up to their potential—which often underestimates how hard they're actually working. Many women with ADHD cycle through jobs, struggle to advance despite obvious ability, or end up in roles well below what their intelligence would predict. Others find their niche—careers that reward creative thinking, hyperfocus, and the ability to thrive under pressure—and do extraordinarily well. #### **What Is a Good Career for a Woman With ADHD?** The best careers for women with ADHD tend to share a few key features: they offer variety and stimulation, they reward creative thinking and problem-solving, they allow for some autonomy over how work gets done, and they don't require hours of tedious, repetitive administrative tasks. Fields that often work well include healthcare (especially fast-paced settings like emergency medicine or nursing), creative industries (writing, design, marketing, and art direction), education and coaching, entrepreneurship, technology and software development, and social work or counseling—where the empathy and emotional attunement that comes with ADHD is a genuine asset. What matters most isn't the specific job title—it's finding an environment that works with your brain rather than against it. Many women with ADHD thrive once they stop trying to force themselves into roles that require the one thing ADHD makes most difficult—such as maintaining prolonged focus on monotonous tasks—and start leaning into the things they do better than almost anyone else, like creative problem-solving or innovative thinking. ### **Relationships** ADHD affects relationships in ways that can be painful and confusing for everyone involved. Partners may experience the woman with ADHD as forgetful, distracted, unreliable, or emotionally volatile. The woman with ADHD, meanwhile, may feel chronically misunderstood, criticized, and like she's constantly letting people down. Some specific patterns that show up frequently: - Forgetting important things—dates, conversations, commitments—that matter to a partner - Difficulty listening attentively in conversations, which can feel like disinterest - Emotional outbursts followed by genuine remorse - Overcommitting and then withdrawing when overwhelmed - Hyperfocusing intensely on a new relationship at the start, then "coming down" as novelty fades—which can be deeply confusing for partners Friendships can also suffer. Women with ADHD often find themselves losing friendships not because they don't care, but because they genuinely struggle to manage the logistical demands of maintaining relationships, leading to difficulty staying in touch, forgetting plans, and being late. ### **Intimacy** This is rarely discussed, but it matters. ADHD can significantly affect intimacy and sexual relationships. Distractibility extends beyond the bedroom, as many women with ADHD struggle to maintain mental focus during intimate moments, leading to frustration and disconnection for both partners. The emotional dysregulation that comes with ADHD can also create volatility in close relationships—intense connection followed by withdrawal, or small conflicts that escalate quickly. And the exhaustion of masking and managing ADHD symptoms all day often leaves women with nothing left by the time they're home with their partners. These factors do not prevent women with ADHD from having rich, fulfilling relationships. They absolutely can. But it does mean that understanding ADHD's role in relationship dynamics—and being honest with partners about it—matters enormously. ## **ADHD Burnout: What It Is and Why Women Are Especially Vulnerable** ![This is a photo of a woman in her late 30s lying on a sofa in the middle of the day, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. She is not asleep—her eyes are open, expression blank and depleted. The room around her is lived-in but not dramatized. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-photo-of-a-woman-in-her-late-30s-lying-o.png) One of the most frequently asked questions on this topic at the moment is ADHD burnout, and existing resources don't adequately address it. So, let's talk about it. ADHD burnout is what happens when the mental and emotional energy required to manage, mask, and compensate for ADHD symptoms finally exceeds what a person has available. It's not the same as regular burnout or general stress. It's a specific kind of depletion that comes from the chronic, invisible labor of living with an unmanaged or under-supported neurodevelopmental condition. It can look like this: - Complete loss of motivation—even for things you normally care about - Profound mental and physical exhaustion that rest doesn't seem to fix - Increased ADHD symptoms—more forgetful, more disorganized, more emotionally reactive - Social withdrawal—canceling plans, isolating, going quiet - Feeling numb, detached, or empty - A deep sense of failure and shame ![This is an infographic titled "Why Women Are Especially Vulnerable to ADHD Burnout.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-infographic-titled-why-women-are-espec.png) Women are particularly vulnerable to ADHD burnout for a few reasons. First, the masking that so many women do—the relentless effort to appear "normal"—is enormously taxing. Second, women with ADHD often carry disproportionate domestic and emotional labor in their households, adding an extra layer of cognitive demand to already strained executive function resources. Third, because their ADHD often goes unrecognized and unsupported, women don't get the accommodations or adjustments that might prevent burnout in the first place, such as flexible work hours or access to mental health resources. *If you're in ADHD burnout right now, it's not a character flaw. It's not weakness. It's the predictable result of a system that has been running without adequate support for too long, often made worse by societal expectations and the lack of understanding surrounding ADHD, particularly in women.* And it's a signal—not to push harder, but to finally get some help. ## **Why Does ADHD Seem to Get Worse as Women Get Older?** ![This is a conceptual diagram titled "The Estrogen-Dopamine-ADHD Connection.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-conceptual-diagram-titled-the-estrogen-.png) This is a question many women ask—and the answer is actually vital. ADHD symptoms don't always get worse with age in a general sense. But for women, there are specific life stages and biological changes that can make ADHD significantly harder to manage. And the main culprit? Hormones. ### **What Are the Symptoms of ADHD in Midlife Women?** Midlife is often when ADHD becomes impossible to ignore—even for women who have managed to cope for decades. As estrogen begins to decline through perimenopause and into menopause, the brain chemistry that helped buffer ADHD symptoms starts to shift, leading to increased difficulties in concentration, mood regulation, and overall cognitive function. What was manageable at 35 may feel genuinely unmanageable at 45 or 50. Midlife ADHD symptoms in women often include a sudden worsening of brain fog and forgetfulness, increased difficulty with executive function tasks that previously felt manageable, heightened emotional reactivity and mood swings, greater difficulty sleeping, a sense that coping strategies that used to work have stopped working, and a new level of disorganization or overwhelm in daily life. Many women in midlife seek their first ADHD evaluation after years of attributing their struggles to stress, menopause, thyroid issues, or simply getting older. The two can absolutely coexist—but understanding that ADHD is part of the picture allows for far more targeted and effective treatment, which can include medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes tailored to address both ADHD symptoms and the challenges associated with midlife transitions. ### **When Does ADHD Peak in Females?** Studies indicate that ADHD in women frequently exhibits its most pronounced symptoms during three critical hormonal transition phases: puberty, the postpartum period, and perimenopause/menopause. Each of these involves significant estrogen fluctuations that directly affect dopamine regulation—the neurotransmitter at the heart of ADHD. In practical terms, many women describe their ADHD as most unmanageable during the week before their period (when estrogen drops sharply), in the months following childbirth, and during perimenopause—the years of hormonal transition leading up to menopause, which can begin as early as the late 30s and extend through the 50s. Understanding these peaks matters for treatment planning. Medication doses may need adjustment at different hormonal phases. Lifestyle strategies become more important during high-stress periods. And knowing that symptom worsening has a biological explanation—rather than being evidence of personal failure—can itself be therapeutic. ### **The Estrogen Connection** Estrogen plays a meaningful role in the regulation of dopamine—the neurotransmitter most closely linked to ADHD. When estrogen levels are high, dopamine function tends to be better regulated. When estrogen drops, ADHD symptoms can intensify. For women, this procedure creates predictable windows of increased difficulty: **Premenstrual phase:** The drop in estrogen in the days before a period can cause a noticeable worsening of ADHD symptoms—more brain fog, more emotional reactivity, and more difficulty focusing. Many women describe the week before their period as their most challenging week cognitively. **Postpartum period:** After childbirth, estrogen levels drop sharply. This is one reason the postpartum period can be an incredibly difficult time for women with ADHD—whether diagnosed or not. **Perimenopause and menopause:** This season of life is a big deal. As estrogen levels decline gradually through perimenopause and then more dramatically at menopause, many women experience a significant worsening of ADHD symptoms. Women who previously managed their ADHD relatively well may find it suddenly much harder to cope. Women who had undiagnosed ADHD may find their symptoms becoming impossible to ignore for the first time. This hormonal dimension of ADHD in women is deeply under-researched and largely ignored in standard ADHD discussions. But it's real, it's significant, and it's one of the reasons getting a proper evaluation and developing a solid treatment plan matters—especially as women move into midlife. ### **Increasing Life Demands** Beyond hormones, life simply becomes more demanding. The executive function requirements of adult life—managing careers, households, finances, relationships, and parenting—are dramatically higher than those of childhood or early adulthood. Coping strategies that worked at 22 may not hold up at 42\. The gap between what an ADHD brain can manage and what adult life demands tends to widen with time—which is why many women don't seek help until their 30s, 40s, or even 50s. ## **The Shame Spiral: Why Women With Undiagnosed ADHD Blame Themselves** ![This is a portrait of a woman in her early-to-mid 40s sitting alone on the edge of a bed, looking downward. Her posture conveys quiet defeat—shoulders slightly rounded, hands loosely clasped. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-portrait-of-a-woman-in-her-early-to-mid.png) Here's something that doesn't make it into most clinical articles about ADHD—but it absolutely should. When a condition goes undiagnosed for years, the person living with it doesn't just experience the symptoms. They experience the story they've built around the symptoms. And for women with undiagnosed ADHD, that story is almost always some version of "I am the problem.” Imagine how it might feel to struggle for ten, twenty, or even thirty years with things that appear to come easily for others around you. You forget things that matter. You're late when you promised yourself you wouldn't be. Starting countless projects but actually finishing only a handful. You find yourself losing your temper in ways that embarrass both yourself and those closest to you. No matter how much you want to change, you watch as your desk, house, inbox—your life—all become chaotic. And nobody tells you there's a neurological reason for any of it. So, you draw the only conclusion available: there's something wrong with you. Not your brain—you. This phenomenon is the shame spiral, and it's one of the most painful and least-discussed consequences of undiagnosed ADHD in women. ![This is a circular flow diagram titled "The ADHD Shame Spiral." ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-circular-flow-diagram-titled-the-adhd-s.png) The shame spiral has a particular shape. It usually goes something like this: struggle with a task or situation → feel like a failure → work harder to compensate → maintain the appearance of functioning → exhaust yourself in the process → struggle more → feel like an even bigger failure. Repeat, for years. Over time, the shame becomes internalized. It stops being a response to specific failures and becomes a general sense of unworthiness. Women describe feeling like frauds—convinced that if people really knew how much effort it takes them to do "normal" things, they'd be exposed as the mess they secretly believe themselves to be. The clinical term for this emotion is "internalized shame," and it's pervasive in women with late ADHD diagnoses. It's also one of the reasons that getting a diagnosis—even in adulthood—can be genuinely life-changing. It's not because a diagnosis cures ADHD, but rather because it fundamentally reframes the narrative. *You* were *not lazy. You* we*re not careless. You were not broken. You were operating with a brain that works differently—without the tools, support, or understanding that could have made an enormous difference.* The struggle was real. However, the interpretation you gave it—the meaning you assigned to your struggle—was inaccurate. For many women, hearing the truth for the first time—from a psychologist, in the context of a proper diagnosis—is an experience many have described as profoundly emotional. Decades of self-blame don't dissolve overnight. But they can begin to loosen. And that loosening is the beginning of something genuinely better. It's also worth noting that the shame spiral doesn't travel alone. Research consistently shows that women with undiagnosed or under-treated ADHD have significantly elevated rates of anxiety disorders, major depression, and disordered eating. These aren't separate problems that happen to occur alongside ADHD—often, they are direct consequences of it. The anxiety is what living with a brain that feels out of control produces. Depression is the result of years of perceived failure and chronic exhaustion. None of this means that every woman who has anxiety or depression has ADHD. It means that when anxiety and depression aren't fully responding to treatment—when something still feels off—ADHD is worth exploring. A comprehensive evaluation can help untangle what's driving what and ensure that treatment actually addresses the root of the problem. ## **What Actually Helps: Treatment and Coping Strategies That Work** ![This is an infographic titled "ADHD Treatment: The Full Picture." ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-infographic-titled-adhd-treatment-the.png) Here's the good news—and there genuinely is good news: ADHD is one of the most treatable conditions in all of mental health. With the right support, women with ADHD can make remarkable progress. Not perfection. Not a neurotypical brain. However, there can be a genuine and significant enhancement in one's quality of life, particularly for those who receive appropriate support and treatment following an ADHD evaluation, which may include therapy, medication, and coping strategies tailored to individual needs. ### **What to Expect From a Professional ADHD Evaluation** Many women are reluctant to be evaluated because they don't know what it entails or fear they don't "qualify" since they've been coping. Let's demystify the process. A comprehensive ADHD evaluation is not a single questionnaire or a fifteen-minute conversation. A thorough evaluation typically includes: - A detailed clinical interview covering your current symptoms, life history, academic and work history, and how your challenges have shown up across different areas of your life - Standardized rating scales and questionnaires—both self-reported and sometimes from someone who knows you well, like a partner or family member - A review of any previous diagnoses, treatments, and their outcomes - Cognitive or neuropsychological testing in some cases, to assess attention, working memory, processing speed, and executive function - Careful consideration of other conditions that might explain or co-exist with the symptoms The goal isn't just to land a diagnosis—it's to develop an accurate, complex understanding of how your brain works, what's driving your challenges, and what kinds of support are most likely to help. A favorable evaluation should leave you feeling genuinely understood, not labeled. It's also worth knowing that any concern is valid when it comes to seeking an evaluation. If ADHD symptoms are affecting your quality of life—your relationships, your work, your sense of self—that's enough of a reason. You don't have to be in crisis to deserve support. ![Woman lying on a sofa looking across the room. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/CTA-Thumbnail.jpg) **If any of this sounds familiar, it might be worth a conversation. You don't have to keep guessing. Reach out today for more information or to schedule an evaluation.** [GET HELP TODAY!](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/contact/) ### **Medication** Medication is a highly effective tool for treating ADHD. Stimulant medications, which increase certain neurotransmitters in the brain, and non-stimulant options, which work differently, both have strong evidence bases for improving attention, executive function, and impulse control. For women specifically, medication management can be more complex because of the hormonal factors we discussed. Some women find that their medication works differently at different points in their cycle, particularly due to hormonal fluctuations that can affect medication efficacy and side effects. Working with a prescriber who understands ADHD in women—and who will adjust and refine treatment over time based on the individual's hormonal changes and how they impact medication efficacy—makes a real difference. Medication alone isn't the complete answer. However, for numerous women, medication serves as a vital component, enabling access to other strategies like therapy, lifestyle modifications, and support networks, which can significantly boost the overall effectiveness of treatment. #### **What's the Best First-Line Treatment for ADHD in Women?** Experts generally agree that stimulant medication, especially those based on methylphenidate (like Ritalin and Concerta) or amphetamines (like Adderall and Vyvanse), works well, has quick effects, and For women, non-stimulant options such as atomoxetine (Strattera) or viloxazine (Qelbree) are also available and may be preferable in some circumstances—particularly when stimulants cause side effects, when anxiety is prominent, or when there are concerns about cardiovascular health. Antidepressants such as bupropion (Wellbutrin) are sometimes used as well, particularly when depression is a co-occurring concern. The "best" treatment is ultimately the one that works for your particular brain, your hormonal picture, your co-occurring conditions, and your life circumstances. This is why a thorough evaluation—and an ongoing relationship with a knowledgeable prescriber—matters so much. ### **Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)** CBT adapted for ADHD is one of the most effective non-medication treatments available. CBT for ADHD is structured, practical, and skills-based, unlike traditional talk therapy, which can be difficult for people with ADHD to engage with effectively. It focuses on building executive function skills—planning, time management, and organization—and addressing the negative thought patterns that often develop after years of struggle. Therapy is also invaluable for addressing the emotional aftermath of years of undiagnosed ADHD—the shame, the self-blame, and the internalized sense of failure. These things don't disappear with a diagnosis, but they can heal with the right support. ### **ADHD Coaching: A Practical Partner in the Process** One treatment option that often gets overlooked—especially in medical-focused resources—is ADHD coaching. And it's worth knowing about. ADHD coaching is distinct from therapy. Where therapy tends to focus on the emotional and psychological dimensions of ADHD—processing shame, addressing anxiety, building insight—coaching focuses on the practical. An ADHD coach works with you in a structured, forward-focused way to build the specific skills that ADHD makes difficult: planning, prioritizing, follow-through, time management, and organization. Coaching doesn't replace therapy or medication—it works alongside them. Many women recognize that coaching is the missing piece that translates their increased self-understanding into actual daily functioning. Knowing why you struggle with time management is different from having a system that actually works for your brain. Coaching can be done in person or virtually, in individual or group formats. For women managing busy lives—careers, families, competing demands—virtual options have made this kind of support significantly more accessible than it used to be. ### **What's the Best Lifestyle for Someone With ADHD?** Alongside professional treatment, there's a lot that women can do to support themselves day-to-day. It's not that they need to exert more effort—they've been exerting more effort their entire lives. However, some targeted strategies have the potential to work with the ADHD brain, rather than against it. - Body doubling: Working alongside another person (in person or virtually) dramatically improves focus for many people with ADHD. It's not a crutch—it's using your environment strategically to enhance productivity and leverage the strengths of the ADHD brain, such as increased creativity and the ability to hyperfocus when properly supported. - The two-minute rule: If something takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. This simple habit prevents the pile-up of small tasks that becomes overwhelming. - Exercise: Regular aerobic exercise is one of the most evidence-supported strategies for managing ADHD symptoms. It boosts dopamine and norepinephrine—the same neurotransmitters that ADHD medication targets—naturally. - Sleep: ADHD and sleep problems are deeply interconnected. Prioritizing consistent sleep hygiene isn't optional—it's medicine. - Nutrition: Stable blood sugar matters. Regular meals, reduced sugar and processed foods, and adequate protein can help maintain steadier cognitive function throughout the day. - Self-compassion: The relentless self-criticism that accompanies undiagnosed ADHD is itself a barrier to healing. You cannot think your way to a better brain. But you can be kinder to the brain you have. ![This is a horizontal bar chart titled "Non-Medication Strategies for ADHD: Evidence Strength." ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-a-horizontal-bar-chart-titled-non-medicat.png) ### **Can You Manage ADHD Without Medication?** This is one of the most frequently searched questions about ADHD—and the honest answer is: it depends. Some people with mild to moderate ADHD do make meaningful progress through behavioral strategies, coaching, therapy, exercise, sleep optimization, and lifestyle changes alone. And for those who prefer not to use medication—whether because of personal preference, medical contraindications, or concerns about side effects—these approaches absolutely deserve a serious try. That said, the research consistently shows that medication is the most effective single intervention for ADHD, particularly for moderate to severe symptoms. For many women—especially those who have been struggling for years or whose ADHD is significantly affecting their functioning—medication isn't optional so much as it is the thing that makes everything else possible, as it can help improve focus, reduce impulsivity, and enhance overall quality of life. The most important thing is to ensure that a desire to manage without medication does not prevent getting an evaluation. Knowing your diagnosis opens up all the options—including the non-medication ones. You can always decide not to medicate after you know what you're working with. ### **What Supplements May Help With ADHD?** Several nutritional supplements have been studied in the context of ADHD, and while none are as effective as medication, some show genuine promise as supportive interventions—particularly for those who want to complement their treatment plan with natural approaches, such as omega-3 fatty acids and zinc, which have been linked to improved attention and behavior in some studies. Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) have the strongest evidence base of any supplement for ADHD. Multiple studies have shown modest but real improvements in attention and behavior, particularly in children, but with relevant data in adults as well. Some people with ADHD have low levels of magnesium, and taking magnesium supplements may help with hyperactivity and sleep. Research suggests that zinc deficiency may be linked to the severity of ADHD symptoms, as it plays a role in dopamine regulation. Iron—low ferritin levels have been associated with worse ADHD symptoms, especially in children, and it's worth having levels checked. Important caveat: supplements are not a replacement for evaluation or evidence-based treatment. And some supplements interact with ADHD medications, potentially affecting their efficacy or causing adverse effects. Always discuss any supplements with your doctor before adding them—especially if you're already on medication. ### **Accommodations** Many women don't know that ADHD qualifies as a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act—which means workplace accommodations are available and legally protected. Extended deadlines, flexible scheduling, a quieter workspace, and written rather than verbal instructions—these aren't special treatment. These accommodations promote fairness in the workplace. Similarly, academic accommodations are available for students with ADHD diagnoses. If you're in school and going undiagnosed, getting evaluated could change your entire academic experience by providing access to necessary support and resources that can enhance learning and performance, such as tutoring, extended test time, and individualized learning plans. ## **ADHD Strengths and Superpowers: The Other Side of the Story** ![This is an image of a woman in her late 30s or early 40s, fully engaged in creative or professional work. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/this-is-an-image-of-a-woman-in-her-late-30s-or-ear.png) I want to conclude this section by discussing a topic that rarely receives enough attention in articles about ADHD: the opposing viewpoint. ADHD is a real condition that causes real challenges. I don't want to minimize that—we've spent a lot of time in this article taking those challenges seriously. But the ADHD brain also comes with genuine strengths. And for many women, understanding and embracing those strengths becomes one of the most important parts of their healing journey. Here's what the research—and clinical experience—consistently shows about ADHD strengths: **Creativity:** The ADHD brain makes unusual connections. It sees angles that organized, linear thinkers miss. Many of the most creative, innovative people across every field—art, science, business, and medicine—have ADHD. That's not a coincidence. **Hyperfocus:** When an ADHD brain finds something it loves, it can achieve a depth of focus and immersion that most people simply can't access. In the right context, this is a superpower. **Energy and enthusiasm:** People with ADHD bring intensity. When they care about something—really care—that passion is contagious and powerful. **Empathy and emotional depth:** The same emotional sensitivity that makes ADHD challenging to manage also makes many women with ADHD remarkably empathetic, perceptive, and deeply connected to the people they love. **Resilience:** Here's one that gets overlooked. Women who have navigated decades of undiagnosed ADHD have developed a kind of resilience and resourcefulness that most people never have to find. They have overcome more than most people will ever know—often without fully understanding why things were tough, which has led to unique coping strategies and strengths that enable them to manage challenges effectively, such as creating structured routines, seeking support from others, and developing self-advocacy skills. **Crisis competence:** Many people with ADHD perform remarkably well under pressure. The urgency and stimulation of a genuine crisis activates exactly the kind of focused, energized response that the ADHD brain does best. This doesn't mean ADHD is a gift that needs no treatment or support. The challenges are real. What it means is that you are not a broken version of a neurotypical person. You are a different kind of brain—with a different set of strengths and challenges. You can get help and stop pretending to be someone else when you accept your individuality and discover happiness your way. That's when things really change. ## **You Deserve Answers—Here's Your Next Step** If you've read this far, something in this article spoke to you. Before we wrap up, I'd like to speak to you personally: ***You are not lazy. You are not flaky. You are someone whose brain works differently. It’s very likely that you’ve been working incredibly hard for a very long time without the right support.*** That can change. A comprehensive evaluation is the first step—and it's a step worth taking, no matter how long you've been wondering. Getting an accurate diagnosis doesn't put a label on you. It gives you answers. It gives you a path forward. And for most women, it brings something they haven't felt in a long time: relief. At Community Psychiatric Centers, I have decades of experience evaluating and supporting individuals and families navigating ADHD. Whether you're seeking answers for yourself—or for a daughter who reminds you a little too much of your younger self—we're here to help. Please reach out to me directly at DrCarosso@aol.com to ask questions, discuss an evaluation, or simply take that first step forward. You don't have to keep wondering. *It's never too late to get the answers you deserve.* **Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D.** Clinical Director: Community Psychiatric Centers & Autism Centers of Pittsburgh [www.cpcwecare.com](http://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) [www.acpitt.com](http://www.acpitt.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) Email: DrCarosso@aol.com Phone: (724) 733-5757 ### **About Dr. Carosso** **Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D.** is a licensed psychologist and certified school psychologist with decades of specialized experience working with children, adolescents, and adults impacted by Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADD/ADHD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, and Trauma. Throughout his 30-year career, Dr. Carosso has remained deeply committed to helping people of all ages reach their fullest potential through comprehensive, individualized, and evidence-based care. Dr. Carosso is widely recognized for his expertise in conducting thorough psychological and developmental evaluations, including diagnostic assessments for autism spectrum disorder, ADD & ADHD and related neurodevelopmental conditions. His evaluations are known for being clinically sound, practical, and family-centered, providing clear guidance that supports meaningful intervention planning across home, school, and community settings. Dr. Carosso serves as partner and clinical director of Community Psychiatric Centers & Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, where he provides leadership, clinical oversight, and strategic direction. In this role, he remains actively involved in program development, staff training, and the delivery of comprehensive mental health services. - [Is It ADHD Or Just Kids Being Kids?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/) - [Treating ADHD in Young Children: A Practical Approach](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/) - [Relationship: The Foundation of Discipline](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-the-foundation-of-discipline/) - [Dyslexia: What it is, and how to treat it](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-what-it-is-and-how-to-treat-it/) - [Separation Anxiety: How to manage school anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/) ### Is ADHD Treatment Effective? What the Numbers Mean. URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:46.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [%E2%80%9CSignificant Difference%E2%80%9D and Its Impact on ADHD Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#%E2%80%9CSignificant%5FDifference%E2%80%9D%5Fand%5FIts%5FImpact%5Fon%5FADHD%5FTreatment) - [How Big Is the Improvement](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#How%5FBig%5FIs%5Fthe%5FImprovement) - [ADHD Medications What the Evidence Shows](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#ADHD%5FMedications%5FWhat%5Fthe%5FEvidence%5FShows) - [The Power of Exercise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#The%5FPower%5Fof%5FExercise) - [Dietary Changes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Dietary%5FChanges) - [Interventions with Poor Results](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Interventions%5Fwith%5FPoor%5FResults) - [Depression Treatment Medication and Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Depression%5FTreatment%5FMedication%5Fand%5FTherapy) - [Comparing Medical Treatment Effect Sizes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Comparing%5FMedical%5FTreatment%5FEffect%5FSizes) - [Statistics Are About Groups Not Individuals](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Statistics%5FAre%5FAbout%5FGroups%5FNot%5FIndividuals) - [What This Means for Parents](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#What%5FThis%5FMeans%5Ffor%5FParents) - [Key Takeaways](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-adhd-treatment-effective-what-the-numbers-mean/#Key%5FTakeaways) Estimated reading time: 6 minutes Exploring and understanding the various ADHD treatment options can feel overwhelming. As you've probably experienced, there are strong opinions everywhere, with mixed messages online and plenty of statistics - all of which can be quite difficult to interpret. As a child psychologist, I've diagnosed and successfully treated ADHD for more than 30 years. My goal in this article is to make the research more understandable so you can make thoughtful, confident decisions for your child. Let’s dive in. ## “Significant Difference” and It's Impact on ADHD Treatment When scientists study ADHD treatments, they usually compare two groups: one group which receives the treatment and the other which does not. Next they ask a simple question: Is the difference between these two groups real, or could it just be random chance? If the difference is unlikely due to chance, it’s called a “statistically significant difference.” In other words, this means the treatment likely had a real, or legitimate effect. However, that’s only part of the story. The next question matters just as much. ## How Big Is the Improvement? Once we know an ADHD treatment is successful, we want to know ***how much*** it helps. Is the improvement small, moderate, or life-changing? This is where a term called “effect size” comes into play. Simply put, effect size indicates, or measures the ***average strength*** of a treatment’s impact. Here's a simple way to think about it: - 0.0 – No better than placebo - 0.2 – Small effect - 0.5 – Moderate effect - 0.8 – Large effect - 1.0 and above – Very strong impact ![Graphic depicting Effect Size and how to understand what it means.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Effect-Size-Graphic-v2.jpg) ## ADHD Medications: What the Evidence Shows Stimulant medications are among the most researched ADHD treatments in child mental health. Notably, in blind clinical trials, stimulant medications typically show large effect sizes, often around 0.95. Some examples from research studies include: - Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) – around 1.28 - Methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) – around 0.77 - Mydayis – roughly 0.67 to 1.1 depending on dose - Alpha agonists (Clonidine, Guanfacine) – around 1.3 in some studies Importantly, when doses are carefully adjusted to the individual child, outcomes can be even stronger. By comparison, non-stimulant medications show moderate effects: - Strattera – about 0.44 to 0.68 - Bupropion – about 0.34 Of course, these figures can't predict the results for a specific child, but they can serve as a helpful reference. ## The Power of Exercise Exercise has also been proven to help children with ADHD. For instance, research shows moderate improvements in attention, hyperactivity, impulsivity, anxiety, executive function, and even social skills. Overall, effect sizes for aerobic exercise in children and teens range from 0.56 to 0.84, depending on which symptom is being measured. The key takeaway is that exercise tends to have a positive, but temporary effect. As a result, it can improve regulation and focus for a few hours afterward. This is why timing physical activity before school, or prior to homework can be especially beneficial. ## Dietary Changes Regarding dietary interventions, removing artificial food dyes and implementing certain dietary restrictions show small overall effects, around 0.21\. While some children clearly benefit, on average the impact is modest compared to medication. ![A graphic depicting the Effect Size differences between medications v. lifestyle changes in children with ADHD.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/ADHD-Treatment-Comparison-02192026.jpg) ## Interventions with Poor Results Computerized brain training programs may improve performance on a specific skill being practiced. Unfortunately, however, these improvements rarely extend to academic or daily performance. Similarly, neurofeedback appears to be more effective for treating anxiety than core ADHD symptoms. ## Depression Treatment: Medication and Therapy Antidepressant medications are clearly helpful for moderate and severe depression. The benefit over placebo increases as depression severity increases. Conversely, in mild depression, the difference tends to be smaller. Overall, medication effect sizes for depression typically range from about 0.18 to 0.44 depending on the specific medication. In contrast, psychotherapy ranges more widely, from approximately 0.22 to 0.80\. Additionally, a strong therapeutic relationship as well as the skill and experience of the clinician can also make a meaningful difference. ## Comparing Medical Treatment Effect Sizes? To better understand the efficacy of ADHD treatments, it can help to step back and look at the broader medical world. For example, many common medical treatments fall within similar ranges: - Metformin for diabetes – about 0.87 - Migraine medication – about 0.83 - Blood pressure medications – about 0.65 - Statins for cholesterol – about 0.15 - Aspirin for vascular disease prevention – about 0.12 When viewed in context, medications used to treat ADHD compare favorably to many widely accepted medical treatments. ## Statistics Are About Groups, Not Individuals ![A graphic conveying the difference between statistical groups and individual care.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Groups-v.-Individuals-Graphic-02192026.jpg) This next statement is extremely important. *Statistics describe averages across large groups. They do not predict how your specific child will respond.* A medication with a modest effect size may produce dramatic improvement for one child, while a treatment with a large average effect may not work well for another. Research groups people together. In real life, we treat individuals. Symptom patterns, temperament, co-occurring conditions, and family dynamics all matter. Furthermore, keep in mind, even a small percentage of people who respond well to a treatment mean that many lives are greatly improved. ## What This Means for Parents So, when considering treatment options, it’s helpful to ask the following questions: - Is a given ADHD treatment effective? Does it work at all? - If so, how strongly does it tend to work? Effect size helps us answer the second question. Moreover, it allows us to move beyond marketing claims and anecdotal stories. At the same time, your child is not a statistic. Consequently, careful assessment, ongoing monitoring, collaboration, and individualized decision-making are just as important as research data. ## Key Takeaways - Understanding ADHD treatment options can be overwhelming due to mixed messages and statistics. - Effect size measures the strength of a treatment's impact, indicating whether an improvement is small or significant. - Stimulant medications show large effect sizes, making them highly effective for ADHD, while non-stimulant options provide moderate benefits. - Exercise positively impacts ADHD symptoms, typically offering temporary relief. - Statistics indicate averages across groups; individual responses to treatments can vary widely, making personalized assessment crucial. If you have questions about treatment options for your child, or if you'd like to schedule an appointment, please feel free to email me at: DrCarosso@aol.com. I'm always happy to help guide families through these important decisions. - [Is ADHD Treatment Effective?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/) - [When Does Autism Show Up, And Does It Get Worse?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-does-autism-show-up-and-other-common-autism-questions/) - [Is it Okay to Compare Your Kids?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/) - [Autism: Do Teenage Social-Skill Groups Work? | July 19, 2012](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-do-teenage-social-skill-groups-work-july-19-2012/) - [The Placebo Effect, Hope, and the Power of Words](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-placebo-effect-hope-and-the-power-of-words/) [Home](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/) » Is ADHD Treatment Effective? What the Numbers Mean. ### Treating ADHD in Young Children: A Practical Approach URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:31.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Structure in ADHD Treatment Why Its Critical](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Structure%5Fin%5FADHD%5FTreatment%5FWhy%5FIts%5FCritical) - - [What Structure Looks Like](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#What%5FStructure%5FLooks%5FLike) - [Build Movement Into the Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Build%5FMovement%5FInto%5Fthe%5FDay) - [Behavioral Therapy in ADHD Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Behavioral%5FTherapy%5Fin%5FADHD%5FTreatment) - - [Parent Coaching You Are the Key](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Parent%5FCoaching%5FYou%5FAre%5Fthe%5FKey) - [Medication and Its Role in Treatment of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Medication%5Fand%5FIts%5FRole%5Fin%5FTreatment%5Fof%5FADHD) - - [When Medication Becomes Important](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#When%5FMedication%5FBecomes%5FImportant) - [An Individualized Decision](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#An%5FIndividualized%5FDecision) - [ Moving Forward with Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#%5FMoving%5FForward%5Fwith%5FHope) - - [Accommodations Are Strategic Supports](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Accommodations%5FAre%5FStrategic%5FSupports) - [Progress Is Possible](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Progress%5FIs%5FPossible) - [Key Takeaways](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-in-young-children-a-practical-approach/#Key%5FTakeaways) Estimated reading time: 10 minutes If you’re a parent of a young child with ADHD, you may find yourself feeling worn out, overwhelmed, or even infuriated at times. You've tried everything you know to do - you've been patient, tried reward charts, set consequences, read the parenting books, etc. Regardless of what you’ve tried, your child still struggles to sit still, follow directions, wait their turn, or manage frustration, and you're wondering what else you could possibly try. As a child psychologist, I want to make it clear from the beginning: - ADHD is not a character flaw in your child - ADHD is not the result of poor parenting ADHD involves differences in brain development that affect attention, impulse control, and managing emotions. By understanding ADHD as a neurological condition instead of just a behavioral issue, we can create strategies that are thoughtful and truly effective. In my 30 years of clinical practice, I've found that successful treatment of ADHD in young children involves three (3) essential components: 1. Structure 2. Behavioral Therapy 3. Medication Each of these three components are valuable. However, when children are very young, we typically place greater emphasis on **structure** and **behavioral therapy** first. Understandably, many parents are naturally cautious about medication in the early years, which is entirely reasonable. In fact, in cases of mild to moderate ADHD, strong environmental and behavioral interventions can make a significant difference without the need for medication. Now, let's talk about each of these three components and what they actually look like in daily life. ## **Structure in ADHD Treatment: Why It’s Critical** Structure is the foundation of treatment of ADHD in young children Here's why: children with ADHD struggle internally with regulation, so structure provides that regulation externally. Think of it as building scaffolding around a developing skill. Now, I know what you may be thinking: "This sounds like a lot of work." And you're right - it is. However, here's the thing you need to keep in mind: the upfront effort of establishing structure ***reduces*** ***daily chaos*** over time. Most parents tell me that after a few weeks of consistency, mornings become dramatically easier. ![A morning routine chart with tasks and schedule designed for a child with struggling ADHD. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/A_birds-eye_view_photograph_of_Nano_Banana_Pro_64285.jpg) ### **What Structure Looks Like** **Consistent Routines** First and foremost, establish predictable routines. Wake-up time, meals, homework, and bedtime should all happen at roughly the same times every day. The more predictable your child's day is, the less they must rely on internal organization, which for them is an area of weakness. Consistency reduces the mental load they're carrying. **Visual Tools** Visual tools are extremely powerful and can be game changers for children struggling with ADHD. A great example might be a whiteboard in the kitchen that outlines the morning and evening routines, step-by-step. Another example might be a simple checklist: "Get dressed, Brush teeth, Pack backpack." When your child can visually ‘see’ expectations rather than just hearing repeated reminders, it can make a world of difference. Plus, checking items off a list can provide your child with a satisfying sense of achievement. **Technology Can Reduce Power Struggles** Here's a strategy many parents find helpful: devices like Alexa or other smart assistants can give neutral, timed prompts. "Johnny, it's time to brush your teeth." When reminders come from a device rather than from you, it often reduces power struggles. Suddenly, you become less of the enforcer and more of the coach. **Keep Instructions Short and Specific** Instead of saying "Clean your room," try "Put your toys in the bin." Once that's complete, give the next step. Dividing tasks into smaller, manageable steps helps reduce feelings of overwhelm and increases the likelihood of compliance. Think of it like giving your child bite-sized pieces they can easily chew and swallow. One small bite at a time is much easier than expecting them to eat the whole meal all at once. **Supervision Is Support, Not Defeat** A young child with ADHD often requires closer proximity and more individualized attention than their peers. This is not a failure on anyone's part. It's an accommodation. Just as a child with vision problems needs glasses, a child with ADHD needs an adult nearby to help them stay on track. Our goal isn't permanent dependence. We hope to gradually fade that proximity over time as skills strengthen. But in the early stages, this level of support is protective and necessary. Don't feel guilty about it - it's strategic. ### **Build Movement Into the Day** Incorporating planned movement throughout the day is a powerful tool to support children with ADHD. Rather than expecting your child to sit still for long periods, schedule short, intentional bursts of physical activity. These brief breaks, such as running around outside for five minutes, doing jumping jacks, or playing a quick game of catch can help reset your child’s attention span and improve focus. By planning for movement throughout the day, you proactively reduce the likelihood of conflict and help your child stay engaged. ![A joyful young boy with ADHD jumping and playing in the backyard with his father nearby.](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/A_joyful_action_photograph_of__Nano_Banana_Pro_42832.jpg) **Consistency Matters Most** Finally, calm and predictable responses to behavior are more effective than repeated lectures, or emotional reactions. Over time, this kind of structure reduces chaos and increases confidence - for both you and your child. ## **Behavioral Therapy in ADHD Treatment** Now, when I mention the term "therapy" for young children, I want to be clear about what this means. I am not referring to traditional talk therapy. Young children are not developmentally ready for long conversations about insight, or abstract reasoning. Instead, behavioral therapy for young children focuses heavily on **parent coaching**. ### **Parent Coaching: You Are the Key** Here's how it works: as the parent, you learn specific behavior management strategies, reinforcement systems, and effective responses to challenging behaviors. This is one of the most evidence-based treatments we have for young children with ADHD. Research consistently shows that when parents are equipped with the right tools, and use them consistently, improvement can be substantial. ![Image of a mom kneeling with her young son, reviewing his daily routine chart. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/A_warm_intimate_photograph_of__Nano_Banana_Pro_88653.jpg) **Immediate and Concrete Rewards** Young children tend to be motivated by rewards they can earn right away, rather than those promised for some later time. As an example, letting them have screen time that night, or a special snack after their homework is finished tends to be more effective than waiting until Friday to reward good behavior all week. Use daily reward systems that give clear and instant feedback. **Practicing Skills in Structured Ways** We also practice emotional regulation skills, turn-taking, frustration tolerance, and flexible thinking in structured, hands-on ways. These aren't abstract concepts - we break them down into specific actions your child can practice, and you can reinforce. **You're the Primary Change Agent** As the parent, you become the primary change agent in your child's life. When you implement these strategies consistently at home, day after day, moment by moment, the improvement is often remarkable. For younger children, this behavioral focus is critical because it creates the framework that allows growth to occur. I know it can feel like the weight is all on your shoulders. However, once you implement the correct strategies and start seeing progress, most parents tell me they feel more confident and less overwhelmed. ## **Medication and Its Role in Treatment of ADHD** Discussion of medication to treat ADHD requires candor and honesty. Medications are some of the most well-researched treatments we have for ADHD, and for some children, it significantly improves attention, impulse control, and emotional stability. Many parents choose to delay medication when children are very young, and I understand this completely. In fact, in cases where symptoms are mild to moderate, we often start with structure and behavioral therapy first and see how far we can get. There's nothing wrong with taking a "wait and see" approach if the symptoms aren't severely impairing your child's daily life. ### **When Medication Becomes Important** However, and this is important, if symptoms are severe and affecting your child's safety, learning, or relationships with peers, medication may need to become part of the plan sooner rather than later. Examples when medication may be required: - Your child is being excluded from activities because they can't control their impulses - They're falling significantly behind academically - They're in frequent physical danger due to impulsivity In each of the above examples, medication should become a more urgent consideration. Medication does not replace good parenting, or therapy. Its purpose is to provide support for the brain, enabling your child to more effectively apply the strategies you’re teaching. Think of it this way: if your child had diabetes, you'd give them insulin so their body could process food properly. Similarly, ADHD medication helps the brain regulate attention and impulses more effectively. ### **An Individualized Decision** The decision is always individualized. When I work with a family, we look at several factors: the level of impairment, the child's age, how they're responding to behavioral interventions, and the comfort level as a family. There's no one-size-fits-all answer. Some children need medication from the start. Others may not need it until some point later, if at all. And some families find that a combination of all three approaches structure, therapy, and medication works best. What matters most is that we're thoughtful about the decision, and that you feel supported in making the choice that's right for your child and your family. ## **Moving Forward with Hope** ![Image of a young girl smiling as she completes a puzzle with her mom in the background. ](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Please_change_the_child_to_a_y_Nano_Banana_Pro_22118.jpg) The bottom line is this: ADHD is highly treatable. The key is a comprehensive approach in which: 1) Structure creates predictability 2) Behavioral therapy builds skills and empowers you as the parent 3) Medication, when appropriate supports your child's brain in doing what you're asking it to do. For younger children, we typically lean more heavily on structured environments and behavioral strategies first, while remaining open to medication if it becomes necessary down the road. ### **Accommodations Are Strategic Supports** Most importantly, I want you to know this: individualized attention, closer supervision, and accommodations aren't signs of weakness or failure. They are all strategic supports – no different than eyeglasses help a child with vision problems to see more clearly. With time, consistency, and the right plan in place, we aim to gradually reduce that support as your child builds the skills to manage more independently. ### **Progress Is Possible** I see it happen all the time in my practice. Children who couldn't sit through a five-minute activity learn to focus for twenty minutes. Kids who melted down multiple times a day learn to use their words and coping strategies. Families who felt like they were drowning find their footing again. With the right guidance and support, children with ADHD can thrive, and families can feel steady and hopeful again. Progress is entirely possible, it just takes time, consistency, and patience. The results are worth the investment. ## Key Takeaways - ADHD for young children is not a character flaw but a neurological condition requiring understanding and appropriate strategies. - Effective treatment relies on three components: structure, behavioral therapy, and medication. - Parents should prioritize consistent routines and behavioral strategies to help children manage ADHD symptoms. - Medication can be crucial when ADHD symptoms significantly impair a child’s daily functioning, safety, or relationships. - Creating a supportive environment with strategic accommodations can help children thrive and families feel hopeful about progress. If you have questions, or would like to schedule an appointment to discuss your child's specific situation, feel free to reach out via email at: DrCarosso@aol.com, or feel free to call: (724) 850-7200\. We're here to help. You don’t need to navigate ADHD alone. God bless you and your child as you work through this together. Below, please find some additional resources that may be of help to you and your family. - [What's the Best Strategy for ADHD?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/) - [A Fresh Welcome Back to School](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/) - [What is Good Therapy for Your Child?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/) - [What is “Structure” and What Does it Look Like?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/) - [Is It ADHD Or Just Kids Being Kids?](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/) ### When Fear Meets Faith URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-fear-meets-faith/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:06.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Utilizing the Comfort of Scripture](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-fear-meets-faith/#Utilizing%5Fthe%5FComfort%5Fof%5FScripture) - [A Holistic View](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-fear-meets-faith/#A%5FHolistic%5FView) - [Scripture Another Tool In the Toolbox](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-fear-meets-faith/#Scripture%5FAnother%5FTool%5FIn%5Fthe%5FToolbox) *Finding Courage, Peace, and Healing Through Scripture* I am grateful, time and again, for moments that remind me how powerful our faith truly is in the mental health journey. While clinical tools, structure, and evidence-based interventions are essential, there is a depth of healing that occurs when God, His Word, and the Holy Spirit are intentionally invited into the process. Recently, during a supervision session, one of my supervisees shared an experience that beautifully illustrated this truth. She described a young boy who had been struggling with fear and emotional regulation. Supports were in place, yet what stood out was how rapidly and meaningfully he progressed once Scripture became part of his daily routine. As he began memorizing verses, something shifted. His fear no longer held the same power. His confidence grew, his anxiety decreased, and he developed a stronger internal sense of safety. These verses were not just comforting to him; they fortified his spirit. ### Utilizing the Comfort of Scripture Scripture tells us that “the word of God is alive and active” (Hebrews 4:12). When we internalize God’s Word, it does more than calm us in the moment. It reshapes our thinking, challenges distorted beliefs, and anchors us in truth. For this young boy, verses such as “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3) became tools he could reach for when fear surfaced. Rather than being overwhelmed by anxiety, he had language and truth to counter it. I often find it unfortunate that many individuals do not fully utilize their faith as part of their mental health walk. God has not only offered comfort, but power. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). That promise speaks directly to emotional regulation, fear response, and cognitive stability. It reminds us that fear does not come from God and therefore does not have authority over us. ### A Holistic View Too often, faith is kept separate from emotional and psychological growth. We pray when things are overwhelming, yet we may not consistently lean on Scripture to guide our thoughts, regulate our emotions, and strengthen our resilience. Proverbs remind us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). When anxiety rises, or negative self-talk takes over, Scripture gives us something solid to stand on rather than relying solely on our own internal dialogue. The Holy Spirit plays a critical role in this process. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would be our helper and comforter (John 14:26). That comfort is not passive. The Spirit actively guides, convicts, strengthens, and renews us from the inside out. When we invite the Holy Spirit into our mental health journey, we are opening ourselves to transformation that goes beyond symptom management. For children, memorizing Scripture can be especially powerful. Verses like “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?” (Psalm 27:1) provide reassurance and courage during moments of distress. For adults, verses such as “Do not be anxious about anything… and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds” (Philippians 4:6–7) offer both instruction and promise. ### Scripture: Another Tool In the Toolbox This does not mean that faith replaces therapy or professional support. Rather, it enhances and strengthens it. When clinical tools are paired with spiritual truth, we often see deeper healing, stronger resilience, and lasting change. There truly is something worth leveraging here. God’s Word, His Spirit, and our Christian walk are not optional supports. For many, they are central to growth, healing, and a life marked by peace, strength, and hope. --- 👉 For more strategies and real-life stories from families, visit my Substack site: Help Kids Thrive. I will be sharing tips, videos, and comprehensive articles for my readers there, so don't forget to check it out and subscribe. [Help Kids Thrive Substack](https://helpkidsthrive.substack.com/) ### Pairing Children with Autism: Why Similarity Can Help Spark Connection URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/pairing-children-with-autism-why-similarity-can-help-spark-connection/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:39:55.000Z When children with autism struggle to form friendships, the social gap can feel discouraging for both child and parent. Research and clinical experience consistently show that pairing autistic children with peers who share similar interests, communication styles, or sensory profiles creates a more natural foundation for connection. Unlike forced social exposure, similarity-based pairing reduces the cognitive and emotional load on both children, making interaction feel safe rather than stressful. At Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, our clinicians use structured social skill-building strategies that account for each child's profile, helping them build genuine peer relationships at a pace that works for them. If your child is struggling socially, an evaluation can help identify the right approach. Contact ACP to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Masking in Autism: What Parents Should Know URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/masking-in-autism-what-parents-should-know/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:39:57.000Z Masking is the practice of camouflaging autistic traits to fit into social environments. This behavior is increasingly recognized as a significant factor in late diagnosis, especially in girls and high-functioning individuals. Children who mask may appear to be coping well at school while experiencing significant internal stress, exhaustion, and anxiety at home. Over time, chronic masking is linked to burnout, depression, and eroded self-identity. Parents who suspect their child may be masking often describe a child who "holds it together" publicly but falls apart after school. Understanding masking is critical to receiving an accurate diagnosis and effective support. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh specializes in evaluating children whose presentations don't fit the typical profile. Reach out to learn more about our diagnostic process. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Making School Mornings Easier for Kids with ADHD and Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:23.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Morning Marathon](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#The%5FMorning%5FMarathon) - [Why Mornings Are Harder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#Why%5FMornings%5FAre%5FHarder) - [Creating Predictable Routines](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#Creating%5FPredictable%5FRoutines) - [The Power of Immediate Feedback](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#The%5FPower%5Fof%5FImmediate%5FFeedback) - [Movement as a Reset](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#Movement%5Fas%5Fa%5FReset) - [Building Organizational Confidence](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#Building%5FOrganizational%5FConfidence) - [A Calmer Start to the Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/making-school-mornings-easier-for-kids-with-adhd-and-autism/#A%5FCalmer%5FStart%5Fto%5Fthe%5FDay) ## The Morning Marathon If you’re the parent of a child with ADHD or autism, you probably know the morning routine can feel like running a marathon before the day has even begun. Between misplaced shoes, half-eaten breakfasts, and last-minute backpack scrambles, stress levels rise quickly. For kids with ADHD and autism, these struggles aren’t about being lazy or defiant—they reflect the unique way their brains process tasks, transitions, and distractions. ## Why Mornings Are Harder Children with ADHD often wrestle with starting tasks and resisting distractions. A child may intend to put on their socks, but suddenly becomes absorbed in a Lego figure found under the bed. For children on the autism spectrum, transitions are especially challenging. Unexpected changes or unclear directions can create anxiety that derails the whole routine. Understanding these differences helps parents shift from frustration to compassion. ## Creating Predictable Routines One of the most effective tools for easing mornings is structure. Think of structure not as rigid rules but as a framework that makes life feel safer and more predictable. Visual schedules or “first–then” reminders are especially powerful. A card that reads, “First brush teeth, then get dressed” keeps expectations clear and removes the emotional battles over what comes next. ## The Power of Immediate Feedback Children thrive when they can see their progress in real time. Traditional report cards tell us weeks later how our children are doing, but that’s often too late. Daily check-ins, sometimes called Daily Report Cards, offer immediate feedback. A teacher might note whether a child stayed seated or started work on time, and parents can review this at home. Kids quickly learn to connect their choices with outcomes, which builds motivation and confidence. ## Movement as a Reset Many children with ADHD need to move in order to focus. Instead of fighting this, we can embrace it. A short walk to deliver a note or a quick break between lessons can reset attention and improve focus. For children with autism, scheduled movement breaks also help regulate sensory input, preventing meltdowns before they happen. ## Building Organizational Confidence For many parents, the backpack becomes the “black hole” where homework and papers disappear. But organization is a skill that must be taught, not assumed. Color-coded folders, weekly clean-outs, and clear routines help children feel more in control of their schoolwork. Over time, these systems give children pride in being prepared and capable. ## A Calmer Start to the Day The goal is not perfection. It’s about helping your child feel more capable, reducing morning stress, and creating a calmer rhythm for the whole family. Each smoother morning is a step toward building confidence and independence. --- 👉 For more strategies and real-life stories from families, visit my [***Making School Easier* series**](https://helpkidsthrive.substack.com/) on my Substack site: Help Kids Thrive. I will be sharing tips, videos, and comprehensive articles for my readers there, so don't forget to check it out and subscribe. [Help Kids Thrive Substack](https://helpkidsthrive.substack.com/) ### Partnering with Schools—Finding the Right Support for Your Child URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:32.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Big Question IEP or 504](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/#The%5FBig%5FQuestion%5FIEP%5For%5F504) - [Matching the Plan to Your Child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/#Matching%5Fthe%5FPlan%5Fto%5FYour%5FChild) - [The Importance of the Team](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/#The%5FImportance%5Fof%5Fthe%5FTeam) - [When Plans Need Adjusting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/#When%5FPlans%5FNeed%5FAdjusting) - [Looking Beyond This School Year](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/partnering-with-schools-finding-the-right-support-for-your-child/#Looking%5FBeyond%5FThis%5FSchool%5FYear) ## The Big Question: IEP or 504? Many parents wonder whether their child needs an IEP or a 504 Plan. Both provide legal support in schools, but they serve different purposes. An **IEP (Individualized Education Program)** provides specialized instruction and sets specific learning goals. A **504 Plan**, on the other hand, ensures access through accommodations, like extended test time or movement breaks, but does not include specialized instruction. ## Matching the Plan to Your Child If your child needs therapies such as speech or occupational therapy, or specific teaching interventions to make progress, an IEP is usually the right choice. If your child is performing at grade level but benefits from classroom adjustments, a 504 Plan may be enough. The key is tailoring support to meet your child’s unique needs, not squeezing them into a one-size-fits-all solution. ## The Importance of the Team Just as important as the plan itself is the team working behind it. Your child’s success depends on collaboration among parents, teachers, and specialists. I often suggest starting meetings by sharing your child’s strengths. Highlighting what your child does well shifts the tone from problem-fixing to strength-building, reminding everyone that your child is more than their challenges. ## When Plans Need Adjusting Even the best strategies sometimes stop working. Maybe a routine that worked in September doesn’t fit anymore by February. Or perhaps an accommodation written into the plan isn’t being consistently used. These moments aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to problem-solve. Approaching teachers with curiosity—“I noticed the daily report card hasn’t been coming home, is it difficult to fit into the day?”—often leads to collaboration instead of conflict. ## Looking Beyond This School Year The true goal isn’t just to survive this year. It’s to help children develop lifelong skills such as self-advocacy, organization, and confidence. These tools prepare them not only for school but also for future jobs, relationships, and independence. When parents and schools work together as partners, kids don’t just get by—they grow. --- 👉 For a deeper dive into how to work with schools and build effective plans, I share more on my [***Making School Easier* series**](https://helpkidsthrive.substack.com/) on my Substack site called *Help Kids Thrive.* I will be sharing tips, videos, and comprehensive articles for my readers there, so don't forget to check it out and subscribe! [Help Kids Thrive Substack](https://helpkidsthrive.substack.com/) ### A Fresh Welcome Back to School URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:30.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [1 Ease Into Routines Gently Please](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#1%5FEase%5FInto%5FRoutines%5FGently%5FPlease) - [2 Structure with a Dash of Fun](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#2%5FStructure%5Fwith%5Fa%5FDash%5Fof%5FFun) - [3 Organize Key Spaces at Home](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#3%5FOrganize%5FKey%5FSpaces%5Fat%5FHome) - [4 Talk Safety and Feelings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#4%5FTalk%5FSafety%5Fand%5FFeelings) - [5 Practical Prep and Health Planning](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#5%5FPractical%5FPrep%5Fand%5FHealth%5FPlanning) - [Final Thoughts and Hugs](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-fresh-welcome-back-to-school/#Final%5FThoughts%5Fand%5FHugs) Hey friends! Can you even believe the lazy, carefree days of summer are winding down? One minute, we’re splashing in the kiddie pool, the next we’re setting alarms for the crack of dawn. The time goes by too quickly! So, here’s the thing (and don’t worry, you’re not alone): transitioning from those long summer days into structured school routines can feel like shifting your whole home into another time zone. But the good news is that a little prep a few weeks before the bell rings can truly sprinkle magic on those mornings and evenings. Here are some steps you can take to make things transition more smoothly: #### 1\. Ease Into Routines: Gently, Please About 2–3 weeks before school, begin nudging bedtimes and wake-ups just a smidge earlier. A 15–30 minute shift every few days works wonders in avoiding that Monday-morning chaos. Do the same for breakfast—laying out clothes, packing backpacks, getting lunches started the night before—so mornings feel more like smooth sailing and less like a frantic relay race. #### 2\. Structure with a Dash of Fun Kids flourish when routines are consistent. Use visuals—a chart, whiteboard, or fun stickers—to map out after-school tasks, such as snack time, homework, or quiet reading. These little cues help both of you glide through routines more easily. #### 3\. Organize Key Spaces at Home Create a central command zone: a designated spot for backpacks, planners, and notes, where everyone can check before heading out, and a dedicated homework area. It’s about providing kids with both tools and a familiar space for focus, complete with good lighting and essential school supplies at hand. #### 4\. Talk Safety and Feelings Back-to-school nerves? Totally normal. Have a safe and gentle chat with your child: What are they most excited about, or worried about? Affirm that mixed feelings are okay and that you’re right there with them. #### 5\. Practical Prep and Health Planning Start shopping early for supplies to avoid a last-minute scramble and financial stress (those Amazon kits at $18 are a smart move). Deep clean backpacks, lunch boxes, and water bottles. They pick up some serious summer funk! Additionally, home health essentials are a must. Keep thermometers, sanitizer, and basic medications on hand, and ensure vaccinations, such as the flu shot, are up to date before cold season arrives. ## Final Thoughts (and Hugs) You’ve got this! With a sprinkle of planning, a dash of structure, and a big scoop of love (plus maybe fewer pancakes tossed at your ceiling), you’ll glide into the school year, or at least laugh a little more when inertia hits. Here’s to a calm, confident start to your best school year yet. ### Autism: Back to School Made Easy (2025 repost) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-back-to-school-made-easy-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-08T16:46:32.000Z Back-to-school transitions present real challenges for autistic children, and preparation is the single most effective tool parents have. Disrupted routines, unfamiliar environments, new teachers, and shifting peer groups all converge at once, creating a predictability deficit that many autistic children struggle to manage. Strategies that help include starting the school routine two weeks early, visiting the classroom before the first day, creating visual schedules, and coordinating with school staff in advance of the transition. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh supports families through seasonal transitions and year-round challenges. If school transitions are a recurring struggle for your child, contact ACP to discuss evaluation and support options. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Summer Fun with Your Autistic Child: The Complete Expanded Guide URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-your-child-with-autism-the-complete-expanded-guide/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:39:58.000Z Summer can be both a relief and a challenge for families of autistic children. Without the structure of the school day, many children experience increased anxiety, sensory dysregulation, and behavioral difficulties. At the same time, summer offers real opportunity, for connection, for exploration of special interests, and low-pressure skill-building in naturalistic settings. The key is planning that accounts for your child's sensory profile, need for predictability, and tolerance for novelty. Successful summer strategies often include visual schedules, pre-planned transition warnings, and activities calibrated to the child's interest areas rather than generic programming. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh works with families year-round to support autistic children through seasonal transitions. Contact us to discuss your child's summer support needs. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Why Parent Support Matters — And How I'm Here To Help URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-parent-support-matters-and-how-im-here-to-help/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:00.000Z Raising a child with autism is a marathon, not a sprint and parents who try to do it alone often reach burnout before their child reaches their full potential. Parental support isn't a luxury; it's a clinical necessity. Research consistently shows that children with autism make greater gains when their caregivers are equipped with the right strategies, connected to other families with shared experiences, and supported in managing their own stress. Dr. John Carosso and the team at Autism Centers of Pittsburgh understand that the parent is always part of the treatment picture. Our approach includes family guidance, parent coaching, and connections to community resources, because when parents are supported, children thrive. Reach out to ACP to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Parenting with Presence: The Power of Getting Softer, Closer, and Calmer URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parenting-with-presence-the-power-of-getting-softer-closer-and-calmer/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:29.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Why Calm Gentle and Present Works](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parenting-with-presence-the-power-of-getting-softer-closer-and-calmer/#Why%5FCalm%5FGentle%5Fand%5FPresent%5FWorks) - [Get on Their Level%E2%80%94Literally and Emotionally](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parenting-with-presence-the-power-of-getting-softer-closer-and-calmer/#Get%5Fon%5FTheir%5FLevel%E2%80%94Literally%5Fand%5FEmotionally) - [Invite Problem-Solving Together](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parenting-with-presence-the-power-of-getting-softer-closer-and-calmer/#Invite%5FProblem-Solving%5FTogether) - [In Practice Softer and Closer in Action](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parenting-with-presence-the-power-of-getting-softer-closer-and-calmer/#In%5FPractice%5FSofter%5Fand%5FCloser%5Fin%5FAction) If you’ve followed along with my blog, you may remember [***The Softer and Closer Approach***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/)—a heartfelt reminder that how we *show up* with our children often matters more than what we *say* or *do*. Today, I want to dive a little deeper into that idea and highlight the importance of remaining calm, getting down to your child’s level, and inviting them into cooperative problem-solving. ## **Why Calm, Gentle, and Present Works** Let’s face it—parenting is hard. When your child is upset, defiant, or overwhelmed, it’s easy to slip into frustration or raise your voice. However, neuroscience suggests that children don’t respond well to intense stimuli. In fact, it does the opposite: it heightens their stress and shuts down the part of the brain that helps them listen, think, and make good choices. **Dr. Daniel Siegel**, a clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of [***The Whole-Brain Child*,**](https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-whole-brain-child/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)emphasizes that when we approach our kids with calm and connection, we actually help *regulate* their emotions. He calls it “name it to tame it” and encourages parents to co-regulate by being present, gentle, and empathetic. ## **Get on Their Level—Literally and Emotionally** One of the simplest and most powerful things you can do is get on the same level as your child—kneel, sit, or squat down. This shows your child that you're not towering over them but instead *with* them. It's a subtle but powerful message of safety and collaboration. **Research from the University of Washington’s Parenting Clinic** found that non-verbal cues—like kneeling down and soft eye contact—significantly increase a child’s ability to attend and respond positively during discipline moments. **Speak Softly—It Gets Heard Better** It may seem counterintuitive, but speaking softly when your child is upset garners more attention than raising your voice. A gentle tone activates a child's *social engagement system*, which helps them feel secure and ready to cooperate, rather than fight or flee. According to **The Harvard Center on the Developing Child**, positive adult-child interactions—including calm verbal communication—build strong neural pathways in young children that support emotional regulation and learning. ## **Invite Problem-Solving Together** Rather than jumping into correction or punishment, consider pausing and asking, “What do you think we can do to fix this together?” This kind of invitation not only models problem-solving but also builds confidence and collaboration. **Ross Greene, Ph.D.**, author of *The Explosive Child*, developed the “Collaborative & Proactive Solutions” model, which centers on this approach. His research shows that children are far more likely to change behavior when they feel heard and are involved in creating the solution. ## **In Practice: Softer and Closer in Action** - **Is your child melting down after school?** Sit beside them, gently rub their back, and say, “It looks like today was really hard. Want to talk about it?” - **They’ve just hit their sibling?** Kneel down and calmly say, “I know you're upset. Let’s talk about what happened and how we can make things right.” - **They're refusing to clean up?** Get close, speak softly, and offer to start together: “Let’s pick up five things together and then take a break.” Every moment like this builds trust, confidence, and emotional maturity. --- If you’re finding these moments hard to navigate, you’re not alone. It takes practice, patience, and support. I’m here to help. Feel free to reach out to me at [**DrCarosso@aol.com**](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com)—and visit [HelpForYourChild.com](https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=helpforyourchild.com&t=h.eJw1jssOgyAURH-lYd2ID-SKK3-FwqXQotcApjFN%5F71h4XIyc3Lmy44U2XxjvpQ9z5x7jLujdNKRjA%5FRNoZWdr-xdx1tWCg9XREKRA-C6xhDpm0pHyo-pHKuaIOuCJe9BW1AgLGPSXaD6ibdIowaAcA54B0INShQQjWyl-0Iomqwal5odKKcadEUrwO2Nlf-%5FQGEdDja.MEUCIANJE3jq46ODEc0oRPm4pEy%5FpPAAu4VdUfTKjZryL34tAiEAiSZiN7X60QrmKL36kNoWeT0ri2YlFku%5Fz6SHg1HeQfo&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) for more parenting insights. ### When To Explain The Autism Diagnosis To The Child URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-to-explain-the-autism-diagnosis-to-a-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:02.000Z One of the most common questions parents ask after an autism diagnosis is: do I tell my child, and if so, when? There's no single right answer, but clinical experience points to a few guiding principles. Children generally benefit from an honest, age-appropriate explanation of their diagnosis, one that frames autism as a different way of thinking and experiencing the world, not a defect. Withholding the diagnosis, especially as children get older and become aware that they're different, can increase anxiety and erode trust. The timing and framing matter, and the conversation often goes better with professional guidance. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh helps families navigate the disclosure process with sensitivity and clinical support. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us to discuss your child's situation. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Is It ADHD Or Just Kids Being Kids? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:52.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Makes ADHD A %E2%80%9CDisorder%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/#What%5FMakes%5FADHD%5FA%5F%E2%80%9CDisorder%E2%80%9D) - [A Thorough ADHD Evaluation With Dr John Carosso](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/#A%5FThorough%5FADHD%5FEvaluation%5FWith%5FDr%5FJohn%5FCarosso) - [Treating ADHD Four Core Strategies](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/#Treating%5FADHD%5FFour%5FCore%5FStrategies) - [Final Thoughts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/#Final%5FThoughts) - [Ready to Take the First Step](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-adhd-or-just-kids-being-kids/#Ready%5Fto%5FTake%5Fthe%5FFirst%5FStep) When is it typical childhood behavior, and when is it something to be concerned about? Many parents ask this question when they see their child struggling with focus, impulsivity, or high energy. While it’s natural for kids to be active and occasionally distracted, ADHD becomes a concern only when these behaviors clearly interfere with a child’s functioning at home, in school, and socially. ## **What Makes ADHD A “Disorder”?** A child may be wiggly or inattentive, but for ADHD to be diagnosed, three key factors must be present: - **Persistent** – The behavior lasts at least six months. - **Pervasive** – The issues appear in multiple settings (home, school, etc.). - **Impairing** – The behavior significantly disrupts learning, relationships, or home life. Sometimes, kids appear far more hyperactive at home than at school. In cases of genuine ADHD, while it is expected that there would be signs of ADHD at school, this doesn’t necessarily rule out ADHD; in fact, many children "hold it together" at school and then release their energy at home. That’s why a comprehensive evaluation is so important. ## **A Thorough ADHD Evaluation With Dr. John Carosso** [**Dr. John Carosso, a licensed Child Clinical Psychologist*,*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/about-us/) has decades of experience in pediatric behavioral health. Dr. Carosso performs a detailed, evidence-based evaluation that includes: - Clinical Interview with parent and child - Input from teachers and caregivers to observe behavior across settings - Neuropsychological testing for attention, memory, and executive functioning - Review of genetic and family history of ADHD and related conditions This holistic approach ensures an accurate diagnosis and informs a treatment plan tailored to your child’s needs. ## **Treating ADHD: Four Core Strategies** An ADHD diagnosis isn’t the end of the story - it’s the beginning of a plan. Effective treatment combines medical, behavioral, and educational strategies. **1\. Structure and Routine** \- Children with ADHD thrive with predictability. Clear daily routines, visual schedules, and consistent expectations help reduce frustration and increase focus. Simple changes—like labeled bins, posted checklists, and fixed homework times—can make a world of difference. **2\. Medication** \- Stimulant medications such as methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta) or amphetamines (Adderall, Vyvanse) are often prescribed to reduce ADHD symptoms. When properly monitored, these medications are safe and effective, helping kids focus, stay calm, and better manage their behavior. **3\. High-Level Oversight and Monitoring** \- Children with ADHD often require close adult supervision and frequent prompting. This is known as proximity control. It may involve: - Sitting near your child during homework - Providing gentle, step-by-step guidance - Offering frequent verbal cues and encouragement These supports help children initiate, persist, and complete tasks, which they often struggle to do independently. Over time, your child will learn to rely more on independent tools such as: - Visual schedules and checklists - Timers and alarms - Color-coded folders and planners Direct oversight can gradually fade as their self-regulation improves, promoting independence and confidence. **4\. 504 Service Agreement at School** \- A 504 Plan is a formal agreement that allows children with ADHD to receive classroom accommodations such as: - Preferential seating - Extended time for tests - Movement breaks - Reduced homework load These supports level the playing field without altering curriculum standards, helping your child succeed academically. ## **Final Thoughts** ADHD is not just a phase or personality trait—it’s a real condition that can profoundly affect a child’s development if not addressed. But with an accurate diagnosis and a comprehensive treatment plan, children with ADHD can succeed and thrive in all areas of life. ## **Ready to Take the First Step?** If you’re concerned that your child may be showing signs of ADHD, schedule a comprehensive evaluation with Dr. John Carosso - he'll help you determine whether ADHD is truly present and guide you toward the right treatment plan. [***Click here to schedule an evaluation.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/contact/) We are proudly serving families throughout Pennsylvania via in-person and telehealth evaluations. ### Helping Teens with Autism and ADHD Transition into Adulthood URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/helping-teens-with-autism-and-adhd-transition-into-adulthood/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:04.000Z The transition from teen to adulthood is challenging for any teenager, but for young people with autism and ADHD, it presents a specific set of obstacles that parents and clinicians must plan for intentionally. Executive function deficits, social skill gaps, and difficulty with self-advocacy can make college, employment, and independent living feel out of reach without the right preparation. Successful transitions typically involve early planning, skills training in real-world contexts, and coordination between families, schools, and clinical providers. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides evaluation and support services for adolescents and young adults navigating this critical period. Our clinicians understand the dual-diagnosis picture and can help build a transition plan tailored to your teen. Contact ACP to get started. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Understanding the Key Differences Between ABA and DTT URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/understanding-the-key-differences-between-aba-and-dtt/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:06.000Z Parents navigating autism treatment options frequently encounter the terms ABA and DTT used interchangeably, but they're not the same thing. ABA, or Applied Behavior Analysis, is the overarching science of behavior that encompasses a wide range of therapeutic techniques. DTT, or Discrete Trial Teaching, is one specific instructional method used within ABA. Understanding the distinction matters because different children benefit from different approaches, and not all ABA programs look alike. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides ABA therapy tailored to each child's individual learning profile, drawing on a full range of evidence-based techniques rather than a one-size-fits-all model. For a deeper look at how ABA and DTT differ and how ACP applies both, visit our dedicated ABA vs. DTT resource page. [Read: ABA vs. DTT at ACP →](https://acpitt.com/parents/aba-vs-dtt?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Weighted Blankets and Vests: Are They Helpful for Children with Autism and ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/weighted-blankets-and-vests-are-they-helpful-for-children-with-autism-and-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:07.000Z Weighted blankets and vests have become popular tools for managing sensory dysregulation in children with autism and ADHD, but the evidence behind them is more nuanced than the marketing suggests. Deep pressure stimulation, the mechanism behind weighted products, does appear to have a calming effect for some children, particularly those with sensory processing differences. However, the research is mixed on whether standardized weighted products produce consistent, measurable outcomes across children. The most effective use of deep pressure tools is individualized, guided by an occupational therapist or behavioral clinician who understands the child's specific sensory profile. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh integrates sensory considerations into our clinical approach. Contact us to discuss your child's sensory needs and treatment options. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): Can It Help Your Child? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:57.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Is DBT Used For](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#What%5FIs%5FDBT%5FUsed%5FFor) - [Is DBT Effective](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#Is%5FDBT%5FEffective) - [How Does DBT Differ From CBT](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#How%5FDoes%5FDBT%5FDiffer%5FFrom%5FCBT) - [What Is Mindfulness In Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#What%5FIs%5FMindfulness%5FIn%5FTherapy) - [Is DBT Suitable For Children](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#Is%5FDBT%5FSuitable%5FFor%5FChildren) - - [Example Treating Self-Harm In Children With DBT](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#Example%5FTreating%5FSelf-Harm%5FIn%5FChildren%5FWith%5FDBT) - [Conclusion and Reaching Out](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt-can-it-help-your-child/#Conclusion%5Fand%5FReaching%5FOut) [***Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)***](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapy?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) is a specialized form of psychotherapy initially developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan in the late 1980s to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Over time, it has evolved to address a broader range of mental health issues. DBT combines principles from [***cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)***](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) with mindfulness practices, emphasizing acceptance and change to help individuals navigate emotional and interpersonal challenges. ### What Is DBT Used For? DBT is particularly effective in treating individuals who struggle with emotional regulation and self-destructive behaviors. It is commonly used for: - **Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):** DBT’s primary focus is to address symptoms such as emotional instability, impulsive behavior, and self-harm. - **Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors:** DBT helps individuals manage distress and reduce self-harming tendencies. - **Mood Disorders:** It is also effective in treating conditions like depression and bipolar disorder. - **Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):** DBT can help individuals process trauma and improve emotional stability. - **Eating Disorders:** It is often used to treat anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorders. - **Substance Use Disorders:** DBT teaches coping mechanisms that reduce reliance on harmful substances. ### Is DBT Effective? Research consistently supports the efficacy of DBT in improving emotional regulation, reducing self-harm, and enhancing overall quality of life. Studies indicate: - Significant reductions in suicidal behaviors and hospitalizations for individuals with BPD. - Improvements in interpersonal relationships, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance. - Success in treating conditions beyond BPD, including substance use and eating disorders. The structured and skills-based approach of DBT ensures that individuals learn practical tools to manage their mental health challenges over the long term. ### How Does DBT Differ From CBT? While DBT and CBT share common roots, they differ in their approaches and focus areas: 1. **Core Philosophy:** - **CBT** focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. - **DBT** integrates acceptance and change, helping individuals balance opposing needs through mindfulness and dialectical thinking. 2. **Skill Development:** - **CBT** primarily targets cognitive restructuring and behavioral activation. - **DBT** emphasizes four key skill modules: - **Mindfulness:** Cultivating awareness and presence in the moment. - **Distress Tolerance:** Managing crises without resorting to harmful behaviors. - **Emotion Regulation:** Understanding and controlling intense emotions. - **Interpersonal Effectiveness:** Building healthier relationships and asserting needs effectively. 3. **Target Audience:** - CBT is widely used for a broad range of mental health conditions. - DBT is particularly suited for individuals with severe emotional dysregulation and chronic self-destructive behaviors. ### What Is Mindfulness In Therapy? Mindfulness is a core component of DBT and serves as the foundation for the other skill modules. In therapy, mindfulness involves cultivating a heightened awareness of the present moment without judgment. It helps individuals: - **Enhance Emotional Awareness:** By focusing on the present, individuals become more attuned to their emotions and can identify them without being overwhelmed. - **Reduce Reactivity:** Mindfulness teaches individuals to observe their thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting, allowing for more thoughtful and deliberate responses. - **Increase Focus:** Practicing mindfulness can improve concentration and reduce distractions, which is especially beneficial for individuals with anxiety or ADHD. - **Promote Acceptance:** Instead of fighting against unpleasant emotions or situations, mindfulness encourages acceptance, helping individuals manage distress more effectively. In DBT, mindfulness is broken down into "what skills" (observe, describe, and participate) and "how skills" (non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively). These practices empower individuals to stay grounded, make healthier decisions, and navigate challenging emotional experiences with greater resilience. ### Is DBT Suitable For Children? DBT has been adapted for children and adolescents, often referred to as DBT-C (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for Children). It addresses emotional and behavioral issues common in younger populations, such as: - Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). - Anxiety and depression. - Emotional dysregulation. - Self-harming behaviors. DBT-C incorporates family involvement, teaching caregivers the same skills as their children to create a supportive and consistent environment. Therapists work collaboratively with children and their families to: - Develop age-appropriate coping strategies. - Enhance communication and problem-solving skills. - Build emotional awareness and regulation tailored to the developmental stage of the child. #### Example: Treating Self-Harm In Children With DBT Consider a 12-year-old child engaging in self-harming behaviors due to feelings of overwhelm and emotional pain. DBT would approach this situation in the following way: 1. **Assessment and Validation:** The therapist would begin by understanding the child’s triggers and emotional experiences, and validating their feelings without judgment. This step helps build trust and reduces feelings of shame. 2. **Teaching Distress Tolerance Skills:** The child would learn alternative strategies to cope with distress, such as using the "TIPP" skills (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Relaxation) to regulate overwhelming emotions in the moment. 3. **Mindfulness Practices:** The therapist would guide the child in practicing mindfulness to become more aware of their emotions and bodily sensations, helping them identify when they are escalating toward self-harm. 4. **Emotion Regulation Techniques:** Over time, the child would be taught how to label and process their emotions effectively, reducing the intensity of emotional outbursts that lead to self-harm. 5. **Family Involvement:** Parents or caregivers would be involved in learning these skills to provide consistent support at home. Above all, they might also work on reducing invalidating behaviors that could unintentionally reinforce the child’s distress. 6. **Problem-Solving and Interpersonal Skills:** The child would be taught healthier ways to express their needs and solve conflicts, reducing feelings of helplessness and frustration that often contribute to self-harming behavior. This structured and compassionate approach helps the child replace harmful behaviors with constructive coping mechanisms, fostering long-term emotional resilience and self-awareness. ## Conclusion and Reaching Out Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a transformative approach that blends acceptance and change to address complex mental health challenges. Its structured framework and evidence-based techniques make it effective for individuals across various age groups and conditions. Whether you’re considering DBT for yourself, a loved one, or a child, this therapy offers powerful tools to build a life worth living. Feel free to connect with me at [***DrCarosso@aol.com***](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) for more information about DBT, if you believe your child would benefit, and if you want to schedule an appointment. God bless you and your children. ### The Power of Pets for Kids with Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-power-of-pets-for-kids-with-autism-adhd-anxiety-and-depression/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:09.000Z The relationship between children and animals has long been recognized as therapeutically valuable, and for kids with autism, ADHD, anxiety, or depression, that bond can be particularly meaningful. Pets provide unconditional acceptance, sensory comfort, and a consistent, low-demand social relationship that many children with neurodevelopmental differences find easier to navigate than peer relationships. Studies on animal-assisted therapy show improvements in social engagement, emotional regulation, and anxiety reduction for autistic children. Even without a formal therapy animal, family pets often serve as important emotional anchors. That said, the fit between a child and a pet depends on the child's sensory profile and the animal's temperament. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh can help you think through complementary supports for your child. Contact us to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Which is More Effective in Child Discipline: Taking Away Privileges or Time-Out? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:10.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Method 1 Taking Away Privileges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Method%5F1%5FTaking%5FAway%5FPrivileges) - - [Discipline Method Pros](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Discipline%5FMethod%5FPros) - [Cons](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Cons) - [Method 2 A Time-Out](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Method%5F2%5FA%5FTime-Out) - - [Discipline Method Pros-2](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Discipline%5FMethod%5FPros-2) - [Cons-2](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Cons-2) - [Choosing the Right Approach](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Choosing%5Fthe%5FRight%5FApproach) - [Final Thoughts and Which is Better](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-is-more-effective-in-child-discipline-taking-away-privileges-or-time-out/#Final%5FThoughts%5Fand%5FWhich%5Fis%5FBetter) Disciplining children is one of the most challenging yet essential aspects of parenting. It’s about guiding children to understand boundaries, responsibility, and acceptable behavior. Common discipline approaches include trying to reason with the child (works wonderfully if your child is reasonable), and yelling at the kiddo (not advised). The two other most common methods parents use are taking away privileges and implementing time-outs. Both approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, and the key to success often lies in knowing when and how to use them. ### Method #1: Taking Away Privileges This method involves temporarily removing something the child values, such as screen time, toys, or extracurricular activities, as a consequence of undesirable behavior. #### Discipline Method Pros**:** 1. **Teaches Responsibility:** Losing privileges can help children understand that their actions have consequences, encouraging them to make better choices in the future. 2. **Longer Impact:** The loss of a privilege over a set period gives the child more time to reflect on their behavior. 3. **Customizable:** This approach can be tailored to fit the child’s age, personality, and specific misbehavior. #### **Cons:** 1. **Emotional Resistance:** Children may respond with anger or resentment, which can escalate conflict instead of resolving the issue. 2. **Overuse Diminishes Effectiveness:** If privileges are taken away too frequently or for extended periods, the child may stop caring or become defiant. 3. **Risk of Power Struggles:** This method may lead to a battle of wills, particularly if the child feels the punishment is unfair. 4. **Children May Find Alternatives:** One common challenge with this method is that children often find something else to do to replace the lost privilege. For instance, if you take away video games, they might simply shift to reading comic books or engaging in another activity. This can reduce the perceived impact of the consequence, making it less effective as a deterrent. ### Method #2: A Time-Out A time-out involves removing the child from the situation for a short period, giving them a chance to calm down and reflect on their actions. #### Discipline Method Pros: 1. **Immediate Intervention:** Time-outs address behavior in the moment, helping children connect their actions to consequences right away. 2. **Encourages Self-Regulation:** By pausing and calming down, children learn to manage their emotions better over time. 3. **Reduces Conflict:** Separating the child from the triggering environment can prevent further escalation. #### **Cons:** 1. **Effectiveness Varies by Age:** Young children may not fully grasp the concept, while older children might see it as a punishment rather than a learning opportunity. 2. **Improper Implementation:** If used as a punishment rather than a teaching tool, time-outs can create feelings of isolation or rejection. 3. **Behavior May Persist:** Without clear follow-up, children might not fully understand why they were in a time-out, leading to repeated misbehavior. 4. **Refusal to Comply:** Some children may refuse to go to a time-out, or, if they do, may refuse to stay there. This can lead to power struggles and further escalate the situation. Parents need to remain calm and consistent, and in some cases, use creative strategies—such as offering choices or gently guiding the child—to ensure the time-out is effective. ### **Choosing the Right Approach** The effectiveness of either method depends on several factors, including the child’s age, temperament, and the specific behavior being addressed. Here are some tips for using these methods effectively: - **Set Clear Expectations:** Let children know in advance what behaviors will result in a loss of privileges or a time-out. - **Be Consistent:** Apply consequences consistently to reinforce the connection between actions and outcomes. - **Focus on Learning:** Frame discipline as an opportunity for growth rather than punishment. Discuss what went wrong and how they can make better choices next time. - **Balance Consequences with Positive Reinforcement:** Acknowledge and reward good behavior to encourage a healthy balance of discipline and encouragement. ### **Final Thoughts, and Which is Better?** Check out my eBook, [***“The Most Common Discipline Methods Don’t Work: Here’s Why and How to Make Them Work",***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-most-common-discipline-methods-dont-work-heres-why-and-how-to-make-them-work/) which takes on this topic in a far more detailed manner. In the meantime, which approach do I think is better? Well, here’s what I’ve found: for kids 3-12 years of age, there is no better method of discipline than time-out to their room. I’ve found that upon removing privileges, the child simply finds something else to do. However, by the same token, it all depends on the kiddo - both taking away privileges and time-out can be effective tools for discipline when used thoughtfully and sparingly. The ultimate goal is not just to correct behavior but to guide children toward understanding the impact of their actions and making better choices in the future. By approaching discipline with empathy, consistency, and a focus on teaching, parents can foster a positive and respectful environment for their children to thrive. Hope you’ve found this post to be helpful – God bless. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Power of Faith URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:04.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Plus Bonus Christmas Day Post](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Plus%5FBonus%5FChristmas%5FDay%5FPost) - - [What Im Expected to Do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#What%5FIm%5FExpected%5Fto%5FDo%E2%80%A6) - [Is There More](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Is%5FThere%5FMore) - - [Seems Only Fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Seems%5FOnly%5FFitting) - [Tap Into the Source of Faith](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Tap%5FInto%5Fthe%5FSource%5Fof%5FFaith) - [Christmas Bonus Post What Makes Christmas So Special](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Christmas%5FBonus%5FPost%5FWhat%5FMakes%5FChristmas%5FSo%5FSpecial) - [What Makes Christmas so Special](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#What%5FMakes%5FChristmas%5Fso%5FSpecial) - [Basic Questions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Basic%5FQuestions) - - - [Does God speak to us and in what ways](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Does%5FGod%5Fspeak%5Fto%5Fus%5Fand%5Fin%5Fwhat%5Fways) - [Scripture that speaks to Gods glory being revealed in creation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Scripture%5Fthat%5Fspeaks%5Fto%5FGods%5Fglory%5Fbeing%5Frevealed%5Fin%5Fcreation) - [God also communicates with us through His written Word](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#God%5Falso%5Fcommunicates%5Fwith%5Fus%5Fthrough%5FHis%5Fwritten%5FWord) - - [Is the Bible credible](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Is%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fcredible) - - [John 1 1 %E2%80%93 John was a fisherman - please take a moment and read this- its truly remarkable both in content and beauty](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#John%5F1%5F1%5F%E2%80%93%5FJohn%5Fwas%5Fa%5Ffisherman%5F-%5Fplease%5Ftake%5Fa%5Fmoment%5Fand%5Fread%5Fthis-%5Fits%5Ftruly%5Fremarkable%5Fboth%5Fin%5Fcontent%5Fand%5Fbeauty) - [Is the Bible authentic has the Bible been altered](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Is%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fauthentic%5Fhas%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fbeen%5Faltered) - [Prophecy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Prophecy) - - [Need more evidence](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Need%5Fmore%5Fevidence) - [Not only changed lives but a changed world](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Not%5Fonly%5Fchanged%5Flives%5Fbut%5Fa%5Fchanged%5Fworld) - [Thats a wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-power-of-faith/#Thats%5Fa%5Fwrap) ## Plus Bonus Christmas Day Post! *This Christmas blog post was first put up on HelpForYourChild.com back in 2012\. It has been helping families recognize the role Faith plays in helping families with childhood difficulties, and it is one of my favorite Christmas traditions.* *In 2023, I expanded upon this classic article, starting with the section titled *"Christmas Bonus Post: What Makes Christmas so Special* *?"** ### What I’m Expected to Do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be a good listener (client-centered techniques), stay in the moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways ([***Applied Behavioral Analysis***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/)). ## Is There More? Well, yes there is. Help for your child is sometimes more than just a clinical approach. I’m usually not expected to focus on spirituality but, sometimes, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have access to a large lifeboat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems Only Fitting During Christmas, it's good to remember that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves. And in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ## Tap Into the Source of Faith Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). As a practicing Christian, tapping into that life-changing Source entails following [***Romans 10:9***](https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ROM.10.9.NIV?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? ## Christmas Bonus Post: What Makes Christmas So Special? ## **What Makes Christmas so Special?** Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, and the beginning of what has become known as “Christianity”. To suggest that the ‘Christian’ movement has been impactful would be an understatement; however, detractors remain. There have always been questions about veracity, reliability, and authenticity. This post will address those questions. ## **Basic Questions** Since the beginning of time, dating back to Aristotle, people have asked deep philosophical questions about the meaning of life. Clearly, these questions are worthwhile, however, before we can answer the loftier philosophical questions, there are ***foundational* *questions*** that first need answered. The answers to these basic questions lay the foundation for subsequent philosophical inquiry. In fact, one could argue that the loftier philosophical questions are moot until these basic questions are answered, such as: Who created the universe? It can be legitimately argued that something cannot come from nothing. Did “God” create the universe and therefore, in doing so, create our current *existence* and *reality*? Do we exist subsequent to evolution (by chance), or at the intentional hand of God? There is, in fact, overwhelming evidence for God and Intelligent Design. Among a litany of other questions including the origins of the Big Bang, secularists still need to answer who wrote all the complex and voluminous ‘code’ (DNA) that’s in every cell of every living organism directing the cell on precisely what to do. If there is a God, and He created everything, then is it not logical that He is the authority of the nature of our *reality* and *existence*. #### Does God speak to us, and in what ways? If God Created the Universe and is authoritative, how does He speak to us, and can we trust that it’s true and accurate? Does God inform us – does He tell us what He wants us to know about our *reality* and *existence*? If so, how does He inform us? In what ways? Are these ways authoritative, convincing, and based on clear evidence as opposed to relying on ‘blind faith’? **God speaks to us through His creation – this fact is rather self-evident, or at least it was until evolution muddied the waters.** It could be argued that the world, universe, earth, people, organisms, plants, and formations… are beyond compare and breathtakingly complex. The entire eco-system is inter-connected and exquisitely balanced. Creation is beyond our understanding and, as it’s clearly indicated in the Bible, He intended that we would be in awe of Him with every glance at what He created. ### **Scripture that speaks to God’s glory being revealed in creation:** *The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies declare the work of His hands, day after day they pour forth speech, night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard, their voice is heard through all the earth, their words to the end of the world. Psalm 19:1* *From the beginning of creation, God’s eternal power and divine nature, though invisible, has been understood and known by the things He has created. Therefore, they are without excuse (for not believing). Romans 1:20* ## **God also communicates with us through His written Word** God communicates with us through his creation. He also communicates with us through His Word *God provided us a clear and concise owner’s manual and an understanding of our history and our future – through the Bible. Take time to read the Bible, and see for yourself.* ### **Is the Bible credible?** All Christian denominations acknowledge the same 66 Books of the Bible. Remarkable, these 66 books were written over thousands of years, by over 40 writers of at least three different languages, spread over three different continents, yet the Bible is inextricably interwoven to tell ONE coherent, logical, inerrant description of God and His personality, His people, what He wants for and from us, and His plans for us. The Bible has many writers, but only one Author. It’s also important to appreciate how wonderfully and powerfully the Bible is written – its phrasing is beautiful and poetic, and the most complex spiritual and philosophical concepts are clearly explained by people who were not exactly trained in writing and literature. For example, #### **John 1:1 – (John was a fisherman) - please take a moment and read this- it’s truly remarkable both in content and beauty:** *In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God, He was with God from the beginning. Through Him all things were made, without Him nothing has been made that has been made. In Him is life, and that life is the light of man. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man sent from God, whose name was John (the Baptist), he himself was not the light, he came only as a witness to the light. The true light, the light of every man, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. But to everyone who did receive Him, whomever believed in his name, He gave the right to be called children of God; children born not of natural descent, or human decision, or a husband’s will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made Him known.* ### **Is the Bible authentic (has the Bible been altered)?** The Bible is derided by some as *unsubstantiated fiction*, however, there are over 24,000 early manuscripts of the Bible dating to within *100* years of Christ’s death. By comparison, the works of Homer, Ceasar, Plato, Tacitus, Thucydides, Herodotus, and many other ancients are often *accepted as truth* in secular culture and are taught in school. However, there are only 7 copies of Plato’s work from 1,300 years after his death; Ceasar – 1000 years and only 10 copies; Aristotle 1,400 years after his death and only 49 copies; Homer – 500 years with 643 copies; Thucydides 1.300 years and 8 copies… there is really no comparison. It is clear that the Bible is accurate, true, and authentic dating back to the original text. **Between His creation and His Word, God made it crystal clear that He is God, that He is real, and that we can know Him.** **But He did not stop there.** ## **Prophecy** No other theological book has such prophecy to back up its authenticity. There are about 2,500 prophecies in the Bible, and about 2000 have already been fulfilled to the letter. The remaining 500 are regarding our future, and we can rest-assured Jesus is coming back to fulfill those as well. The odds of these prophesies having been fulfilled by chance without error is less than one in 10 to the 2000th power (1 with 2000 zero’s after it). Look to Genesis, Exodus, Daniel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, books of Kings and Second Kings, actually, it’s hard to find a book in the Bible that does not have prophecy, and they all came to pass. There are also prophecies fulfilled in the New Testament – Jesus fulfilled hundreds of Old Testament prophecies and He also made many others – too many to recount here in this post. No other religion has such compelling evidence – how can all these prophecies be explained except that they came directly from a God who wants us to know, without a shadow of doubt, that He is real - wants us to know about Him and that He wants to engage with us if only we’ll open the door to Him. ### **Need more evidence?** **God makes Himself ‘real’ in our lives through the Holy Spirit; by adopting us, being our Father and friend, and changing our lives.** **The testimony of changed lives** It’s difficult for unbelievers to understand this concept of the Holy Spirt and His impact on our daily life – it’s like trying to explain the breathing of air to a fish, which is sad because this ‘breath of life’ is beyond compare and there is nothing as powerful, satisfying, rewarding, or convincing as the Holy Spirit directly impacting one’s life. There is no mistaking or denying the presence of the Holy Spirit that is without compare and life-changing. ***For the message of the cross \[the Gospel\] is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God*** ***1 Corinthians* 1:18** God changes lives - there are countless Christians who testify that their relationship with Jesus changed their life, delivered them from sin and any number of addictions, changed and renewed their mind, and opened their eyes to a new spiritual reality. Christians describe their experience and world as unequivocally ‘different’ after encountering Christ - not perfect, but getting better and different from the old self. Sometimes that ‘difference’ is extraordinarily, sometimes more subtle, but always there is a change. *Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17* ### **Not only changed lives, but a changed world** Judeo-Christian teachings, values, and tenets shaped and guided Western culture and civilization as we know it today. We take-for-granted our God-given freedoms, rights, and civil-liberties that have changed the course of human history. The Declaration of Independence, our Constitution, and capitalism - all driven by Judeo-Christian concepts and teachings; and our very concept of morality – what is right and wrong, comes from the Bible - how else do we genuinely know what’s ‘right’ unless God tells us; otherwise, it’s only opinion. Also, our concepts of marriage, the family, respect for women, racial equality and equal treatment for all – come from the Bible. The abolishing of slavery was spear-headed through the work of Christians (the abolitionist movement was largely a Christian movement and churches often served as hiding spots that made-up the Underground Railroad). Our justice system and due process is based on the Bible, as-is our current hospital and university system (most hospitals were started by churches and many of our top universities began as seminaries). Our current foster and adoptive care system is based on the work of the church. In fact, the concept of a middle-class work-force is based in Christianity; prior, there was only the very rich, very poor, and slaves and that model, by the way, continues to exist in most of the non-Christian world. What about respect and care for children – yep, a Biblical standard. Moreover, the world’s greatest artists, musicians, writers, and architects all claim their work as inspired by God. Moreover, the greatest scientists were inspired by God and His creation. Not to mention that most charity work is Christian-based. Finally, of course, no one has sacrificed more, and changed more lives for the better than Jesus Christ. ## **That’s a wrap** Those are just a few things that make Christmas so special. He came humbly to this earth as a baby in a manger, but no one has so dramatically changed lives and changed the world. He left us with His Spirit and His church; and His Word has been shown to be true and authentic. So, in the light of this glorious Christmas Spirit, I wish you the happiest and merriest Christmas season, and that you and yours would not only know about Him, but personally come to know the one whose birth we celebrate - all you have to do is ask. “When you come looking for me, you will find me” \-Jeremiah 29:13 Merry Christmas. ### Raising Thankful Children: How to Encourage Gratitude URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:55.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Practice Gratitude Year-round](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#Practice%5FGratitude%5FYear-round) - [An All-Too-Common Problem%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#An%5FAll-Too-Common%5FProblem%E2%80%A6) - [Managing Entitlement](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#Managing%5FEntitlement) - [How Do We Help Them Practice Feeling Gratitude](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FHelp%5FThem%5FPractice%5FFeeling%5FGratitude) - - - [1 Give with a little more restraint](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#1%5FGive%5Fwith%5Fa%5Flittle%5Fmore%5Frestraint) - [2 Have kids work for what they want](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#2%5FHave%5Fkids%5Fwork%5Ffor%5Fwhat%5Fthey%5Fwant) - [3 Show them what its like for those less fortunate](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#3%5FShow%5Fthem%5Fwhat%5Fits%5Flike%5Ffor%5Fthose%5Fless%5Ffortunate) - [4 Practice thankfulness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#4%5FPractice%5Fthankfulness) - [5 Seek out gratitude-building church messages](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#5%5FSeek%5Fout%5Fgratitude-building%5Fchurch%5Fmessages) - [Its Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Gratitude](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children-how-to-encourage-gratitude/#Its%5FNot%5FToo%5FLate%5Fto%5FTeach%5FYour%5FKids%5FAbout%5FGratitude) *This classic holiday article shares timeless tips and observations about encouraging a sense of gratitude and thankfulness in children, teens, and young adults. It has been updated for 2024.* The holiday season is a time for lots of family and celebrations. It can feel like the modern world emphasizes the excesses of festivities and gifts that often come with those celebrations. In a season where material things are advertised at every turn, how do you provide a balance between helping your children be thankful for what they have, and providing them with that ‘Christmas morning magic’ of a pile of presents? It’s a tough balancing act! ### **Practice Gratitude Year-round** I imagine many of us try to keep that sentiment of thankfulness at the forefront of our minds and would prefer our kids do as well. However, do we find that, at times, our kids don’t seem so thankful? They can have a weak sense of gratitude because gratitude is not always something young children inherently experience. Ironically, the more you do for your kids, the less thankful they may seem. ### **An All-Too-Common Problem…** It’s sort of a trap. We love our kids so much and want them to be happy and content. At the same time, we live in the most prosperous and affluent country in the history of the world, so we have ample opportunity to give our kids lots of stuff. So what transpires? As we give them more, we find that they tend to expect more. There comes a sense of entitlement and more expectation as opposed to a gracious and genuine “thank you!!” Yes, it’s true, and clearly evidenced in our daily lives. The more someone gets, often the less gracious they become. Moreover, the lower the expectations to be able to obtain items (don’t have to work for it), the higher a child’s sense of entitlement. ### **Managing Entitlement** People who feel entitled and come to expect things without a strong sense of gratitude are typically unhappy people. In that respect, gratitude is a barometer for happiness. The more gratitude a person feels in life, the happier they are going to be. It’s hard to be happy when you ‘expect’ more, and aren’t happy with what you already have. Unfortunately, being a dependable and loving parent to your child can make something they would naturally be thankful for seem more like an expectation. So, what do we do to keep that thankful feeling? ## **How Do We Help Them Practice Feeling Gratitude?** Practice makes perfect: this can be true for feelings as well as any physical task. Sometimes to feel thankful about something, you need to acknowledge all the things you have. Here are some ideas: #### **1\. *Give with a little more restraint.*** We don’t give a child everything they ask for. Remember the old adage: “give a child everything they need, but very little of what they want.” #### **2\. *Have kids work for what they want*.** This can be through an allowance, and they can save their money. It's worth considering that there are two different sets of chores in any home; chores are important because we all live together and have to pitch in to run the household, such as cleaning one’s room, emptying the garbage, running the sweeper… and those chores that may be considered ‘above and beyond’ for which an allowance will be considered: such as raking leaves, pulling weeds, shoveling snow, washing the car, cleaning windows… for younger kids, the list of chores for which an allowance will be allotted may be a bit longer, but as a child gets older, that list will get smaller so it will be harder to earn an allowance. Developing a work ethic is an important life skill. #### **3\. *Show them what it’s like for those less fortunate*.** Local churches have myriad opportunities for this type of service; we can sign up our kids (and we go along) to volunteer at a shelter (with direct parent oversight), at the Goodwill, or go on a mission trip. This offers an opportunity to give back, see how good they have it, and see firsthand how others are living. Donating toys/ items that the child has grown out of can be a powerful motivator to keep an uncluttered household, and it helps to cement the idea of helping the less fortunate. It is especially beneficial to do this around this time of year to clear out older toys and clothes while also making them available for those who need them in time for the holidays. #### **4\. *Practice thankfulness.*** We make sure that, weekly, they write down all the things for which they are grateful. Also, it is good to get them in the habit of writing well-thought-out and gracious thank you cards for any gift they receive. This can start at a very early age, even if they are not yet able to write the cards themselves. #### **5\. *Seek out gratitude-building church messages.*** Get your kiddo to church, synagogue, or temple (wherever you worship). at least once if not twice a week. Most churches have a kid’s program that also meets Wednesday evenings). If a church is doing its job, the preacher(s) are teaching about gratitude, thankfulness, self-sacrifice, the 10th Commandment (okay, I’ll give you a hint – that one about not-coveting and, rather, being happy with what God's given you), love, patience, humility, being meek, and caring for others. Can you think of better messages for our children? ## **It’s Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Gratitude!** Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. It’s too late. Your child is already an over-indulged tyrant who is running the household. Well, even in that seemingly dire situation, it’s not too late. You may need to take it a bit slower, but you can do it!! Follow the pointers above and, slowly but surely, things will begin to change. Your child will not be happy as you begin this process, they will fuss and try to wear you down. If you need help and guidance along the way, and maybe some moral support, that’s what I’m here for (and your local church with help from the Children’s Pastor). If you want to make a change in the direction of enhancing gratitude, you have to start sometime. How about today? Here is wishing you and yours a relaxing and delightful Holiday Season with your family and friends, and with your ever-increasingly grateful children. For more tips on surviving the challenges that can come up during this time of year, check out my post: [***Managing the Holiday Season.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/) 😊 God bless you. ### Sensory Sensitivities: My Child With Autism Won't Eat URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sensory-sensitivities-my-child-with-autism-wont-eat/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:11.000Z Feeding difficulties are among the most common, and most stressful challenges parents of autistic children face. For many children on the spectrum, extreme food selectivity isn't picky eating; it's a sensory experience driven by hypersensitivity to texture, smell, color, or temperature. A child who gags at certain textures or refuses all foods of a particular color is responding to genuine sensory input, not exercising behavioral defiance. Left unaddressed, restrictive eating patterns can affect nutrition, family dynamics, and social participation. Effective intervention typically combines behavioral strategies, sensory integration approaches, and in some cases, feeding therapy. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh understands the sensory dimensions of autism and can connect your family with appropriate clinical support. Reach out to discuss your child's needs. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How to Help Children with ADHD Make Friends: Tips for Parents and Caregivers URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:28.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Understanding the Challenges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Understanding%5Fthe%5FChallenges) - [Strategies to Support Friendship Skills](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Strategies%5Fto%5FSupport%5FFriendship%5FSkills) - [Tips for Parents](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Tips%5Ffor%5FParents) - [When Should You Seek Additional Support For Your Child With ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#When%5FShould%5FYou%5FSeek%5FAdditional%5FSupport%5FFor%5FYour%5FChild%5FWith%5FADHD) - [Bonus Post](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Bonus%5FPost) - - [Tips for Supporting Social Skills During Recess](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Tips%5Ffor%5FSupporting%5FSocial%5FSkills%5FDuring%5FRecess) - [Conclusion](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-help-children-with-adhd-make-friends-tips-for-parents-and-caregivers/#Conclusion) Making friends can be challenging for any child, but for children with ADHD, forming and maintaining friendships can present unique obstacles. ADHD affects a child’s attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation—all of which play crucial roles in social interactions. However, with the right support and strategies, children with ADHD can learn to build meaningful, lasting friendships. In this post, I'll be exploring common challenges and effective ways to help children with ADHD develop their social skills. ### Understanding the Challenges Similarly to [**children with Autism,**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/helping-children-with-autism-make-friends-8-social-strategies/) children with ADHD may experience difficulty making friends due to various aspects of their condition, including: - **Impulsivity:** Many children with ADHD act before thinking, which can lead to interrupting others, blurting out comments, or behaving in ways that seem socially inappropriate. - **Inattention:** A tendency to daydream or be easily distracted might cause children to miss social cues or seem disinterested in conversations. - **Emotional Regulation:** Children with ADHD may experience intense emotions, which can lead to overreacting or having difficulty managing frustration, potentially putting a strain on social interactions. These traits can make it harder for children with ADHD to connect with peers. However, parents can play a key role in helping them develop the skills needed to make friends. ### Strategies to Support Friendship Skills Parents and caregivers of children with ADHD can help! Here are six tips to assist and support your child with building their social skills, and making connections and friendships with others. 1. **Encourage Empathy and Perspective-Taking** Teach your child to understand and appreciate others' perspectives. Role-playing can be a helpful tool: create scenarios where they practice how to respond in different social situations, helping them recognize how their actions might affect others. 2. **Build Social Skills in Small Steps** Social skills don’t develop overnight, especially for children with ADHD. Start with foundational skills, like making eye contact, taking turns in conversations, and listening actively. Teach them the basics of 'reflective listening' that simply entails re-stating with an emphasis on the person's feelings (this is a great approach for parents and spouses as well). Praise them for small successes to build confidence and reinforce positive behaviors. 3. **Practice Self-Control Techniques** Impulse control is a common challenge, but techniques such as deep breathing or counting to five before speaking can help your child develop more thoughtful responses. Practicing these techniques during calm moments can make them easier to use when emotions run high. 4. **Help with Conflict Resolution** Teach your child to handle disagreements with peers calmly. Role-playing can be useful here as well; guide them on how to express their feelings without lashing out, and show them how to apologize or compromise when needed. 5. **Foster Opportunities for One-on-One Friendships** Large group settings may feel overwhelming for children with ADHD, making one-on-one play dates a more manageable way to build friendships. Organize activities that suit your child’s interests and are structured to help them stay engaged, such as board games, art projects, or sports. 6. **Focus on Shared Interests** Encourage your child to pursue hobbies or activities where they can meet like-minded peers. Sports teams, art clubs, or hobby-based classes can offer natural settings to meet friends, especially when the activity provides some structure to help with focus and engagement. ### Tips for Parents - **Model Social Behavior**: Children often mimic their caregivers, so demonstrate positive social interactions whenever possible. Show how to make polite conversation, handle disagreements, and offer support to friends. - **Set Up Structured Social Activities**: Situations with clear rules and expectations, like sports or group activities, provide a framework that can help children with ADHD navigate social interactions more easily. - **Encourage Positive Self-Talk**: Negative self-talk can hinder social confidence. Encourage your child to think of themselves as capable and kind, using affirmations and gentle reminders to help build a positive self-image. - **Work with Teachers and Counselors**: Educators and school counselors can provide valuable support and insight. Ask them about programs or resources, such as social skills groups, which are often available in schools. ### When Should You Seek Additional Support For Your Child With ADHD? If your child is still struggling to make friends despite your efforts, it may be worth exploring social skills groups or therapy. You can feel free to email me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com), or call us at Community Psychiatric Centers at [(724) 850-7200](tel:7248507200) to make an appointment for therapy. We offer social skills training specifically designed for children with ADHD. In addition, ADHD social groups can be especially effective, as they allow children to practice in a safe, supportive setting with guidance from professionals. ## Bonus Post: ### Tips for Supporting Social Skills During Recess Recess is often less structured than classroom time, which can be both exciting and overwhelming for children with ADHD. Here are some strategies to help children develop their social skills during these free periods: 1. **Suggest Recess-Friendly Games and Activities**: Some children with ADHD benefit from knowing specific games or activities they can initiate or join, which can give them a sense of direction. Activities like playing catch, tether ball, or hide-and-seek offer structure within the unstructured environment of recess. 2. **Teach and Practice Taking Turns**: For children with ADHD, taking turns and waiting can be challenging. Role-play games where they practice waiting their turn, and explain how taking turns helps everyone enjoy the game more. Practicing at home makes it easier to apply these skills on the playground. 3. **Set Small, Achievable Social Goals**: Help your child set simple goals for each recess, like introducing themselves to one new classmate or asking to join a group. Small goals help build social confidence without overwhelming them. Over time, these goals can expand as they grow more comfortable. 4. **Encourage Observation Before Jumping In**: Teach your child to spend a moment observing other kids before joining a game. This brief pause can help them understand the flow of the game, the rules, and how they might fit in, which reduces the chance of interrupting or being disruptive. 5. **Focus on Inclusive Games**: Encourage your child to participate in cooperative games that have clear, shared objectives and rules. Team-based games, such as soccer or kickball, often foster cooperation and give children a role or “job” to focus on, making it easier for them to interact successfully. 6. **Practice Social Cues at Home**: Many social cues, like understanding personal space or recognizing when someone wants to change the subject, can be practiced at home. Play pretend games where you take on different roles and scenarios, helping your child learn cues such as eye contact, listening, and friendly body language. 7. **Reinforce Positive Interactions**: When your child tells you about their recess, praise specific positive actions, such as asking someone to play or sharing a toy. Reinforcing these behaviors encourages them to keep up these actions, building confidence in their social abilities. 8. **Prepare for Common Challenges**: Children with ADHD may feel discouraged if they have a negative experience at recess, such as an argument with a peer. Before recess, remind them of strategies for handling conflicts, like taking deep breaths or walking away from heated situations. Afterward, discuss what happened and reinforce positive coping techniques. 9. **Coordinate with School Staff**: Teachers and recess monitors can be valuable allies. Speak with them about any particular goals or challenges your child has, and see if they’re able to give gentle reminders or offer support. Sometimes, a teacher can suggest inclusive games or keep an eye on social interactions to help your child feel included. 10. **Encourage Self-Reflection**: After school, have a casual, open-ended conversation with your child about their recess experience. Ask questions like, “What game did you play today?” or “How did it feel to play with \[friend’s name\]?” This can encourage self-awareness and give insight into any additional guidance they may need. ### Conclusion Friendships are essential for a child’s growth and happiness, but children with ADHD often need extra support in building and maintaining relationships. By providing the right tools and encouragement, parents can help children with ADHD overcome social challenges and enjoy the benefits of friendship. With time, patience, and support, these children can develop the skills needed to create meaningful connections that enrich their lives. God bless you and your kiddo's as they work toward this very important goal of developing meaningful friendships. Don't hesitate to reach out for help along the way, at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) or on Facebook. ### Helping Children with Autism Make Friends: 8 Practical Tips and Strategies URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/helping-children-with-autism-make-friends-8-social-strategies/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:12.000Z Friendship is one of the most meaningful, and most elusive milestones for children with autism. Social skill deficits, difficulty reading nonverbal cues, and sensory sensitivities can make peer interaction exhausting rather than enjoyable. But with the right support, most autistic children can develop meaningful connections. Practical strategies include identifying shared interest areas as friendship entry points, practicing social scripts for common situations, using structured peer activities rather than open-ended play, and coaching parents on how to facilitate playdates without hovering. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh offers social skills programming designed to help autistic children build real-world connection skills in supportive, structured settings. If your child is struggling to make friends, contact ACP to discuss evaluation and social skill support options. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Social Anxiety vs. Shyness: Understanding the Differences URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:37.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is Shyness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#What%5Fis%5FShyness) - - [Key Characteristics of Shyness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#Key%5FCharacteristics%5Fof%5FShyness) - [What is Social Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#What%5Fis%5FSocial%5FAnxiety) - - [Key Characteristics of Social Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#Key%5FCharacteristics%5Fof%5FSocial%5FAnxiety) - [Key Differences Between Social Anxiety and Shyness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#Key%5FDifferences%5FBetween%5FSocial%5FAnxiety%5Fand%5FShyness) - [How to Recognize Social Anxiety vs Shyness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#How%5Fto%5FRecognize%5FSocial%5FAnxiety%5Fvs%5FShyness) - - [Tips for Managing Shyness and Social Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#Tips%5Ffor%5FManaging%5FShyness%5Fand%5FSocial%5FAnxiety) - [Some Final Thoughts About Social Anxiety And Shyness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/social-anxiety-vs-shyness-understanding-the-differences/#Some%5FFinal%5FThoughts%5FAbout%5FSocial%5FAnxiety%5FAnd%5FShyness) So what is the difference? Many people often confuse shyness with social anxiety, as both involve discomfort in social situations. However, there are significant differences between the two. While shyness is a common personality trait, social anxiety is a more severe condition that can impact your child’s daily functioning. Understanding these differences can help you to recognize when what seems like "just being shy" may actually be a sign that your child has something more. ## What is Shyness? Shyness is a personality trait that many people experience at some point in their lives. It typically involves feeling awkward or hesitant in social situations, especially around unfamiliar people. Those who are shy may prefer to avoid the spotlight or large groups, but they don’t experience overwhelming fear or panic. ### Key Characteristics of Shyness: - Mild discomfort or nervousness in new social settings - Self-consciousness or awkwardness, but still manageable - Often improves with time and exposure to social situations - Doesn’t generally interfere with daily life Shyness is relatively common, and many children who are shy can still form meaningful connections and engage in social activities with a bit of effort. ## What is Social Anxiety? Social anxiety, or social anxiety disorder (SAD), is a mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social settings. Unlike shyness, which may be mild and temporary, social anxiety often causes overwhelming stress that can interfere with daily activities like attending school or [social gatherings.](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/) ### Key Characteristics of Social Anxiety: - Intense fear or anxiety about being in social situations - Worrying excessively about being judged or rejected - Avoidance of social situations or extreme distress when unable to avoid them, i.e. school refusal - Physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, or a racing heart - Significant impact on daily functioning and relationships ## Key Differences Between Social Anxiety and Shyness Although shyness and social anxiety share some similarities, the differences lie in their intensity and impact on daily life. 1. **Severity:** Shyness tends to be mild, whereas social anxiety is more severe and can lead to debilitating fear in social situations. 2. **Triggers:** Shy individuals may feel uncomfortable in certain situations, but those with social anxiety are often triggered by any type of social interaction, even routine ones like talking in class, speaking on the phone, or ordering food. 3. **Impact on Daily Life:** Shyness rarely interferes with daily tasks, while social anxiety can make it difficult to attend work, school, or even engage in casual conversations. 4. **Physical Symptoms:** Social anxiety is often accompanied by intense physical reactions, such as sweating, shaking, or feeling faint, which are not typically seen in shyness. ## How to Recognize Social Anxiety vs. Shyness Recognizing whether your child is shy or dealing with social anxiety can be crucial for knowing when to seek help. Here are some ways to discern when your child is experiencing social anxiety or shyness. - **Shyness:** If feelings of discomfort are mild and don’t stop your child from participating in social activities, it’s likely just shyness. With time and exposure to social settings, shyness tends to diminish. - **Social Anxiety:** If the fear is overwhelming, lasts for months or longer, and leads to avoidance or distress in social situations, it may be social anxiety. Sometimes even children are able to sense that their fear is irrational but can’t control it. ### Tips for Managing Shyness and Social Anxiety There are many things you can do to help your child manage feelings of shyness or full-blown social anxiety. The key is to take things slowly and with kindness. Causing more tension about overcoming these issues will often do the opposite of improving them! **For Shyness:** - Practice gradually exposing your child to social situations to build confidence. - Help your child to challenge negative thoughts about social interactions. - Focus on building one-on-one connections before larger group settings. **For Social Anxiety:** - Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be very helpful to help your child manage anxiety so We teach your child relaxation techniques like deep breathing to ease physical symptoms. - Gradually face feared situations in small steps, starting with less intimidating scenarios. - Seek professional help at [**Community Psychiatric Centers**](https://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) if anxiety interferes with daily life. ## Some Final Thoughts About Social Anxiety And Shyness While shyness and social anxiety may seem similar at first glance, the key differences in their severity, impact, and physical symptoms highlight the importance of distinguishing between the two. Understanding these differences allows you to help your child address challenges effectively—whether through self-help strategies for shyness or seeking professional support for social anxiety. If you want help or have questions about your child’s ‘shyness’, feel free to email me at DrCarosso@aol.com. God bless! ### Panic Attacks! Managing Your Child's Anxiety URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:27.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Really is a Panic Attack](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#What%5FReally%5Fis%5Fa%5FPanic%5FAttack) - [How to Manage a Panic Attack](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#How%5Fto%5FManage%5Fa%5FPanic%5FAttack) - - [One at a time](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#One%5Fat%5Fa%5Ftime) - [Next%E2%80%A6 the Most Beneficial Breathing Exercise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#Next%E2%80%A6%5Fthe%5FMost%5FBeneficial%5FBreathing%5FExercise) - - [Breathing Exercise for Panic Attacks](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#Breathing%5FExercise%5Ffor%5FPanic%5FAttacks) - [Whats next Thoughts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#Whats%5Fnext%5FThoughts) - [Im Here to Help](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/panic-attacks-managing-your-childs-anxiety/#Im%5FHere%5Fto%5FHelp) ### **What *Really* is a Panic Attack?** We often think of a panic attack, sometimes referred to as an “anxiety attack” as this abrupt and spontaneous experience of intense anxiety, possibly occurring in some sort of public setting, from which there is a need for immediate escape to someplace calming and “safe.” A panic attack is often considered a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system that leads to a momentary hyper-reaction of our involuntary bodily functions such as breathing, blood pressure, and digestion and feelings in the gut. This over-reaction manifests in rapid and shallow breathing, heart palpitations, dizziness, and nausea. Of course, that’s all true. However, you know as well as I, sometimes these ‘attacks’ don’t manifest in that traditional way; the trigger can be predictable, not so spontaneous, and occur in your child in response to daily life demands such as going to school, attending a sport or activity, or some perceived anxiety-provoking event. The impact is the same; your child has an intense emotional episode and it’s really tough to soothe or console. ## **How to Manage a Panic Attack** We focus on finding a calm environment for our child, remaining calm, providing healthy and soothing self-talk for the kiddo, and slowing down their breathing. ### **One at a time** First, a focus on finding a calm and soothing environment, and remaining calm ourselves. If your child has frequent episodes of heightened emotionality, based in anxiety and fretfulness, it’s important to find a room or area in the house that has a calming environment, remove most items that can be used to throw or make a mess, maybe has some comfortable items such as beanbag chairs or some pillows, as well as some favored soothing items such as some stuffed animals to help with soothing and calming. As a parent, it’s vital that we remain calm, don’t raise your voice, watch your town, and speak in short and succinct phrases. In that respect, too much information only causes more anxiety. We want to offer reassurance and brief direction on how to calm. ## **Next… the Most Beneficial Breathing Exercise** One of the first things that happens during this type of anxiety or panic attack is the breathing goes haywire. At the same time, as the breathing is rapid and shallow, so is the thinking; the thoughts are racing and ‘all over the place’. So, we need to slow things down. The best way to accomplish that goal is to slow down the breathing. We often hear of a number of breathing activities and exercises including diaphragmatic breathing as well as mindful breathing. I suggest a simpler approach that’s easy to learn, practice, and carry out even in the heat of the moment. It goes like this: ### Breathing Exercise for Panic Attacks - Inhale deeply through the nose - When you think you can’t inhale any more, take another short inhale through the nose, completely filling the lungs - Hold your breath for three-five seconds - Exhale very slowly through your mouth - As you are exhaling imagine breathing out all of the anxiety and fretfulness Try this right now, it’s quick and easy. You’ll see it has a notable if not dramatic calming effect. It helps to slow things down and then it’s easier to think more clearly. This technique can be practiced during the week and then used as situations begin to escalate. Granted, it’s even more powerful to transition this technique into a mindful breathing exercise that entails using that same breathing cycle but doing it approximately 3 to 5 times in a row. Sometimes, however, it’s difficult to get children to practice the mindful approach and they’re more on board with practicing this simpler method that nonetheless is quite effective. ## What’s next? Thoughts!! It is vital that we help our children to think in a calming and soothing manner. In that regard, what has caused the overreaction in the first place? It’s caused by over-reactive thoughts with the child telling him or herself that the situation is dire, horrible, and will end badly. Almost invariably, the thinking is irrational and unreasonable and, when we can moderate the thoughts, the feelings and the emotions moderate as well. So, we use a whiteboard and notes to instill calming and self-soothing phrases that the child needs to learn to communicate to oneself throughout the week. These phrases can be practiced and associated with prior experiences of stress. As a situation arises, as the parent, you can recite some of the phrases in a calm and gentle tone to help your child internalize and, at some point, your child will start using the phrases himself to self-soothe. **Creating a Sanctuary from Panic Attacks and Anxious Thoughts** Panic and anxiety attacks can be overcome when combining these approaches of a calm and soothing environment as well as a calm and soothing approach from you as the parent. Deep and slow breathing, and helping your child to think in a calm, reasonable, and rational manner also help. However, it takes daily practice of the breathing techniques and soothing self-talk, as well as planning and contemplation in regards to creating a calm environment in, for example, the child’s room. However, this is all time well spent and can be quite beneficial. ## I'm Here to Help Whether your concerns are panic attacks and anxiety, or learning challenges, I am here to help! Don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) or on [**Facebook**](https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso). Or you can make an appointment for therapy or an evaluation at 724-850-7200\. You can also see more at [**helpforyourchild.co**](https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=helpforyourchild.com&t=h.eJw1zUEOgyAUBNCrGNaNCKKAK6-Cfiy06Df4TWOa3r1h4XIyM3lfdubEhooFon3gPPi0L5gvPPMcYoJ6xpU9KvYum80T5udCymolteIupXjgNtIHKcRM1-ohunLhTgjb9J13kxTglYZJAIjWOm1kryVwoaVpm87Yrja2CL4ILz-7jMeBo8N021CaO%5F%5F-J-c3PQ.MEQCIETBQDzHKoaLCVrnnpMfHDrNsEbmSun64b01b4wjh7ngAiAQGypKBZT3RV4qzxkVIIhBsp3lGEVvbSdOjZlSB6Ft6g&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)[**m**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/) under parent resources. God bless you and your kiddo. ### "Autistic Savant Syndrome" and Its Impact on Treatment URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autistic-savant-syndrome-and-its-impact-on-treatment/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:14.000Z Savant syndrome, the presence of exceptional, often extraordinary abilities alongside significant developmental challenges affects a small subset of autistic individuals and is far less common than popular media suggests. The Rain Man archetype has shaped public perception of autism in ways that can be both romanticizing and misleading - sometimes causing parents to overlook real support needs because their child demonstrates a specific talent. Clinically, savant abilities don't change the core challenges of autism; they're one piece of a complex profile that still requires individualized assessment and intervention. Understanding the full picture, strengths and challenges together is the foundation of effective treatment. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh takes a comprehensive approach to evaluation that accounts for the whole child. Contact us to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Classroom Success and the Bermuda Triangle URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/classroom-success-and-the-bermuda-triangle/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:52.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Picture a Triangle](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/classroom-success-and-the-bermuda-triangle/#Picture%5Fa%5FTriangle) - [The Triangle is Only One Tool](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/classroom-success-and-the-bermuda-triangle/#The%5FTriangle%5Fis%5FOnly%5FOne%5FTool) - [Wrap Up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/classroom-success-and-the-bermuda-triangle/#Wrap%5FUp) *The Bermuda Triangle??* Okay, so what does Bermuda have to do with this post besides the fact that it’s a really cool place to go on vacation? Well, not much, and admittedly I included it just to get your attention. The triangle context I’ll be using today has much better outcomes than the one from Bermuda lore. In today's example, you actually want your child to be inside the Bermuda Triangle. The triangle shape is very pertinent and important to classroom success. As parents, we want our children to receive optimal attention and monitoring from the classroom teacher. No matter if our kiddo is neurotypical, or has ADHD, [autism](https://autismcenterofpgh.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), or other challenges, particular seats in the classroom receive more attention, eye contact, and prompting from the classroom teacher than other seats. ## Picture a Triangle Picture a traditional classroom, with the front row being the base of the triangle and the two angled sides extending into the middle portion of the classroom. The children sitting in that triangle receive the most attention from the classroom teacher. That’s where you want your child seated. I would suggest that the more attention your child needs, the more important it is to sit near the front and in the middle. A 504 plan or IEP sometimes refers to this as “preferential seating” but that term can be rather vague. I want you to be specific when having those discussions with school staff. ## The Triangle is Only One Tool There are many other suggestions and accommodations that can help your child experience increased levels of success in the classroom. These could include: - having your child sit at a carrell that blocks out external stimuli and reduces distractions, using headphones to block out external noises or a quiet area to work, - extra time to complete assignments, - material being provided in audio form with an option for them to dictate their work instead of handwriting - a token economy system to incentivize completing any given project or assignment, - breaks that include running in the gym for a few minutes, - being the class helper that gets your kiddo out of their seat and moving around periodically throughout the day, - a visual prompt on the child’s desk to remind them to pay attention or turn in homework, - a vibrating alarm on the child’s wrist that vibrates every eight minutes to remind to pay attention, and so on. Having one of these, or multiple options to try is a good way to discover what might be the best fit for your kiddo. ## Wrap Up: If you have any questions regarding improving your child's classroom success, feel free to reach out to Facebook or at [*DrCarosso@aol.com*](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). I hope you have found this post be helpful in recognizing the importance of what’s referred to as preferential seating in the specifics of what that might look like. Hope you have a wonderful day, and God bless you and your kiddos. ### What's with the Increasing Autism Rates? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whats-with-the-increasing-autism-rates/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:16.000Z Autism diagnoses have increased dramatically over the past two decades, and that trend raises an understandable question: is autism actually becoming more common, or are we simply getting better at identifying it? The honest answer involves both. Expanded diagnostic criteria, greater clinical awareness, reduced stigma around seeking evaluations, and improved access to assessment have all contributed to rising prevalence figures. True environmental and biological factors may also play a role, though no single cause has been established. What's clear is that more children are being identified, and earlier, which creates both greater demand for services and a wider range of presentations within the autism spectrum. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides comprehensive autism evaluations for children and adults. Contact us to learn about the evaluation process. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Are Autism and ADHD Related? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-autism-and-adhd-related/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:23.000Z Autism and ADHD are distinct diagnoses, but they frequently co-occur, and they share enough overlapping features that distinguishing between them requires careful clinical evaluation. Both conditions involve attention and regulation challenges; both can affect social functioning; and both are rooted in neurological differences. Research suggests that a significant percentage of autistic individuals also meet criteria for ADHD, and vice versa. The DSM-5 formalized this by allowing both diagnoses to be made simultaneously, is a change from earlier diagnostic rules. For parents, the practical implication is that a child presenting with attention, behavioral, and social challenges may need evaluation for both. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh specializes in dual-diagnosis evaluations. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us to discuss your child. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Do Fidget Spinners Help With ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:15.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Typically Works and What Doesnt Work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/#What%5FTypically%5FWorks%5Fand%5FWhat%5FDoesnt%5FWork) - [What about Movement Activities](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/#What%5Fabout%5FMovement%5FActivities) - [What About More Subtle Movement Activities](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/#What%5FAbout%5FMore%5FSubtle%5FMovement%5FActivities) - [So Does That Mean Fidget Spinners Work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/#So%5FDoes%5FThat%5FMean%5FFidget%5FSpinners%5FWork) - - [Before You Turn to Fidget Spinners](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-fidget-spinners-help-with-adhd/#Before%5FYou%5FTurn%5Fto%5FFidget%5FSpinners) There is always a search for remedies for symptoms of ADHD. Children with ADHD struggle with distractibility, impulsivity, and being fidgety if not outright hyperactive. These difficulties can interfere greatly with daily functioning. This includes in the classroom, but also at home with getting through homework, getting off to school in the morning, or doing chores. Some parents use textured stickers, bubble Pop-it sensory toys, fidget spinners, or squishable balls in an effort to refocus the fidgeting. There are a host of behavioral interventions that can be helpful but it’s always important to determine whether any given approach is actually helpful for your child. ## What Typically Works, and What Doesn’t Work? There are all types of things you can do to improve focus when doing a task at home. Standard strategies to assist with improving attention include, for example: - removing distractions - making sure the child’s phone or electronics are nowhere in sight - having a set schedule for the task - being organized - using buzzers or alarms as reminders - Post-it notes to keep on track - checklists for smaller parts of a larger task - Alexa can even give a prompt or two at predetermined times In the child's classroom, it can be harder to eliminate all the distractions. Other children can often be sources of distractions. But there are still ways we can still help the child focus on the tasks or instruction. We may have a child sit in the front row, use noise-canceling headphones, or use a Carrell when completing tasks to block out external stimuli. ## What about Movement Activities? It’s been established that movement activities and breaks help children with ADHD. Taking a break after a while allowing the child to run around and burn off some steam, and then return to the task has been a long-standing and effective strategy. A modified version of that would include the child being able to, for example, stand beside their desk, move around, and stretch while or before completing a task. These approaches have tended to work quite well and are commonly used to help children with ADHD in the classroom or at home. ## What About More Subtle Movement Activities? However, what about more subtle movements such as using fidget spinners or a squishy ball? Do these more nuanced movement approaches work? Well, it depends. Research and my own observations have shown that, for some children, using various devices such as fidget spinners helps to promote attention and task completion. However, for other children, it actually increases their distractibility and results in less task completion. So, it’s a mixed bag. ## So, Does That Mean Fidget Spinners Work? What this means is that, just like with most other strategies, any given game plan or treatment plan needs to be individualized and child-specific. In that respect, what works for one child may not work for another. That’s why we always take a well-thought-out, child-specific approach that is based in data collection, experimenting with different approaches, and closely assessing what works and what doesn’t work. In fact, even if the research suggested that something was quite effective across the board, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna work for your child or vice versa. You never know until you try. However, again, each strategy needs to be well thought–out ahead of time, implemented strategically, and assessed quite thoroughly and intensely to determine its impact. It’s almost always the case that any given strategy needs to be fine-tuned and tweaked with time. So you won't know if fidget spinners will work for your child unless you try. ### Before You Turn to Fidget Spinners... Effectively managing ADHD, in any setting, is a challenge and takes ample thought and strategizing. I’m always here to help and that’s what we do here at Community Psychiatric Centers and the Autism Center of Pittsburg. We work with kids and teenagers and are well-versed in managing the signs and symptoms of ADHD. If you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out at [Dr.Carosso@aol.com](mailto:Dr.Carosso@aol.com). I hope you found this post to be helpful. Have a great week, and God bless you and your kiddos and your family. ### When Does Autism Show Up, And Does It Get Worse? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-does-autism-show-up-and-other-common-autism-questions/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:17.000Z Autism is typically present from birth, though signs often become more noticeable between 18 months and 3 years when social and communication demands increase. Some children appear to develop typically and then regress, a pattern that is alarming for parents but not uncommon in autism. The question of whether autism "gets worse" is complex: the underlying neurology doesn't progressively deteriorate the way a degenerative condition would, but increased environmental demands, co-occurring anxiety, and lack of appropriate support can make symptoms appear to worsen over time. With the right intervention, many autistic individuals make significant gains. Early diagnosis and evidence-based treatment remain the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh offers evaluations for children of all ages. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us today. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Does Screen Time Cause ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:18.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Cause and Effect or Just a Connection](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Cause%5Fand%5FEffect%5For%5FJust%5Fa%5FConnection) - [What Does the Research Have to Say](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#What%5FDoes%5Fthe%5FResearch%5FHave%5Fto%5FSay) - [Think of it This Way%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Think%5Fof%5Fit%5FThis%5FWay%E2%80%A6) - - [Other Symptoms of Too Much Screen Time](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Other%5FSymptoms%5Fof%5FToo%5FMuch%5FScreen%5FTime) - [Are There Any Positives](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Are%5FThere%5FAny%5FPositives) - - [Is Too Much Screen Time the New Too Much TV](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Is%5FToo%5FMuch%5FScreen%5FTime%5Fthe%5FNew%5FToo%5FMuch%5FTV) - [Hope That Helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-screen-time-cause-adhd/#Hope%5FThat%5FHelps) ### **Cause and Effect, or Just a Connection?** Can screen time cause ADHD? It’s safe to say that we all have concerns about screen time. We see our kids spending way too much time on their electronic devices and it seems as if they are consumed by it. We worry that technology may be harming their development, thinking, and general functioning. Parents worry that video games and technology may be decreasing their child’s ability to maintain attention to task over a long period of time, or possibly be worsening their child’s ADHD symptoms. So, is there actually a cause/effect relationship between screen time/technology/video games, and ADHD or worsening attention problems? Let’s take a look. ## **What Does the Research Have to Say?** There have been a number of studies on the connection between screen time and attention issues. One more recent study, with a large number of five-year-olds, seemed to show a connection between children who played video games for more than two hours a day and having a greater number of ADHD symptoms. This is not to suggest that the video games caused ADHD, or that the children ultimately met diagnostic criteria for ADHD. Still, compared to children who played fewer video games, the other kiddos had more symptoms of greater intensity. In that respect, they were more distracted and impulsive. ## **Think of it This Way…** Let’s say you have two kids. One spends hours per day playing chess, and the other plays video games. The child playing chess has to attend and concentrate for a long period on a slow-moving endeavor that provides a limited amount of stimuli and feedback at any given time. The activity is ongoing, tedious, at times frustrating, and takes an extraordinary amount of persistence and concentration. The other child is spending hours playing video games that are highly stimulating, active, give tons of feedback every second, are fast-paced, and are very rewarding on a second-by-second basis. Which child do you think, ultimately, is going to have better attention, concentration, perseverance, and frustration tolerance? Which child is going to be better prepared to complete boring or tedious homework, or sit through a long boring lecture in class? I suppose we could think of attention, concentration, perseverance, and frustration tolerance as a muscle that needs to be built up or a skill that needs to be developed. The more we practice, the better it gets, or the stronger it becomes. Of course, attention, concentration, perseverance, and frustration tolerance can be built up in lots of different ways. Chores like gardening, homework, practicing a sport, and anything that requires sustained attention and is not bombarding us with stimuli and immediate reinforcement are great for this. It’s important to note that these more tedious and mundane activities can still be rewarding and fun. In fact, it can be quite rewarding to do a good job and see the fruits of one’s labor. However, clearly, these activities simply don’t have as much immediate reinforcement as video games or being on electronics. We can make a similar case for tik-tock or YouTube Shorts which are also mind-numbing in that they provide immediate reinforcement for seconds and then move on to the next one – there is no need for sustained attention or concentration. Our children are inundated with this type of stimuli such that their "attention muscles" can become weak and ineffectual. ### **Other Symptoms of Too Much Screen Time** I know I’m largely preaching to the choir, but you parents also know the other ill effects of electronics. Countless times I’ve heard parents lament that kids who play video games for extended periods tend to be more agitated and easily set off. And of course, what happens when you try to remove the video games? ## **Are There Any Positives?** Are there any positives to electronics and video games? Well, we are living in what’s known as the “informational age”. Our children have at their fingertips an enormous amount of information. One can make a case that our kids are better informed, for better or worse, than any generation has ever been. Research has also shown that some video games are, in fact, somewhat slower-paced, require deep thought, planning, teamwork, creativity, and some degree of ingenuity. Minecraft comes to mind in that respect, and I imagine there are others. It is not uncommon that video games, across the board, require contemplation, planning, thinking ahead, and quick reflexes. We could argue these are important skills. ### **Is Too Much Screen Time the New Too Much TV?** Another perspective is this: think back to when we were kids (depending on how old you are). We were often playing outside, likely more than our kids do, but our ‘screen time’ was watching TV. That too is kinda mind-numbing and not entirely challenging to our intellect. In fact, one could say that video games are better than TV. With video games there is active participation, planning, and the aforementioned teamwork (when children play as a team). Nevertheless, at least a movie requires sustained attention and is less stimulating. You also have to sit through the boring parts! As with everything, it’s a mixed bag. I think we can all agree that electronics in excess can be a problem and could contribute to any number of difficulties for our kids. Limiting the time allocated to electronics is the key. ## **Hope That Helps** I hope this post helps to clarify some of the dynamics relative to electronics and the pros and cons in that respect. If you’re struggling with your child’s distractibility and lack of perseverance, feel free to reach out at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). We are experienced in treating [ADD/ADHD and other attention issues](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/). God bless. ### What is Good Therapy for Your Child? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:55.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [All too Often%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#All%5Ftoo%5FOften%E2%80%A6) - [Lets Talk About the %E2%80%98Structure of Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#Lets%5FTalk%5FAbout%5Fthe%5F%E2%80%98Structure%5Fof%5FTherapy) - [What Else Happens All Too Often](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#What%5FElse%5FHappens%5FAll%5FToo%5FOften) - [Who is the Client](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#Who%5Fis%5Fthe%5FClient) - [Working With the Whole Unit](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#Working%5FWith%5Fthe%5FWhole%5FUnit) - [Another Pitfall to Successful Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#Another%5FPitfall%5Fto%5FSuccessful%5FTherapy) - [Something Else You Should Expect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#Something%5FElse%5FYou%5FShould%5FExpect) - [When Considering Therapy for Your Child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-good-therapy-for-your-child/#When%5FConsidering%5FTherapy%5Ffor%5FYour%5FChild) People have asked about what makes therapy sessions "good". The idea of "good therapy" hinges on sessions that are ultimately beneficial to the child. Children are expected to bond with their therapist, discuss their thoughts and feelings, work on coping skills, and make gains in therapy. However, it doesn’t always play out that way. ## All too Often… When meeting up with parents for an evaluation of the child, it’s not uncommon that the child will already have been in therapy. However, it’s also not uncommon that the therapy “didn’t go so well” and the parents decided to discontinue. Clearly, that is unfortunate given the hopes and expectations of enrolling your child in therapy in the first place. How can you avoid that from happening to your child? How can you better ensure that your child has a positive experience in therapy and a positive outcome? ## Let’s Talk About the ‘Structure’ of Therapy In this post, I’m going to be targeting the structure of therapy, not so much the mechanics of therapy in regards to technique or clinical matters. To learn about what specific techniques a therapist will use with your child during the therapy process, and how those decisions are made, please see my prior post "The Formula for Successful Therapy". When I refer to ‘structure’, I am targeting how the therapy is conducted, with who, and how often. ## What Else Happens All Too Often? Before we can closely consider what constitutes “good” therapy, let’s take a look at what may be perceived as less-than-optimal approaches. In that regard, it’s all too common that a parent brings a child to the office, the therapist picks up the child in the waiting room, takes the child back to the therapy room, meets with the child for 45 minutes to an hour, brings the child back out to the waiting room, and says “goodbye” to the parent and “see you next week.” It could be argued that this approach is all too common and not entirely advantageous. In fact, I would strongly advise against it. ## Who is the Client? When working with children, the situation gets a bit complex. As a parent, you are typically the one who initiates therapy for your child. In that respect, it’s rather uncommon that a child requests to go to therapy to talk about their problems and work on coping skills. Clearly, it’s the parent who gets the ball rolling in that regard. Consequently, from a therapist’s perspective, the child is the “client” but, in lots of ways, the parent is too. I found that, almost invariably, a parent brings a child to therapy because there are challenges at home regarding the child’s behavior, emotions, noncompliance, or something that is disruptive or difficult in some way. There are those instances where a child is brought to therapy purely because they seem down or anxious. But even that typically manifests in some type of agitation or social avoidance, panic, or something that too is behaviorally problematic. In any case, the bottom line is that you, as the parent, are seeking help with and for your child. You need guidance, suggestions, and a sense of 'what to do' when your child is having a hard time. ## Working With the Whole Unit I tell our therapists at Community Psychiatric Centers that is vital to work intensively with the parent as well as with the child. Consequently, there is an expectation that the parent will be significantly involved in therapy sessions. Of course, the child will have an opportunity to work individually with the therapist, but the parent must be involved to discuss situations and work on problem-solving with the child. This is a vital aspect of therapy and is something that you, as a parent, should expect in the therapy process. Of course, when dealing with a teenager, the situation changes a bit. A teen aged 14 or older has to sign permission for the therapist to talk with the parents. Most teens are acquiescent and it’s not much of a problem. In fact, it’s especially vital to work with parents when the client is a teenager because often there is much to discuss, negotiate, and compromise in regard to problem-solving in the home ## Another Pitfall to Successful Therapy One of the pitfalls that affect whether sessions with a therapist will be successful is how often the sessions occur. At Community Psychiatric Centers, sessions are conducted every week. We find that it’s necessary to conduct weekly sessions to gain traction and more quickly get moving in the right direction, especially at the outset. As things begin to improve and stabilize, we can move to every other week and then, as we are beginning to fade, move to monthly. However, I’ve heard of some clinics providing therapy, from the outset, on an every-other-week basis. That is simply too infrequent, especially for children. In fact, at times it’s even necessary for twice-per-week sessions to address difficult times and periods of extra stress. ## Something Else You Should Expect Therapy is all about communication – working toward better communication with your child and as a family. However, it’s also important to have open and regular communication with the therapist. In that respect, it’s vital that the therapist is regularly inquiring about your thoughts and feelings regarding the process. You need to express any concerns about the therapy direction, and whether you believe it is effective. Otherwise, the direction does not change and then most parents just stop taking their child to see a therapist. That’s unfortunate because with some open communication, that outcome could have been avoided. Consequently, expect and ask for such communication with the therapist. ## When Considering Therapy for Your Child Good therapy entails a positive and solid rapport between your child and his or her therapist. But significant parent involvement, weekly sessions, and regular communication about ‘how everything is going’ is also important. In the absence of any of these, the therapy will likely be less effective. If you’re seeking therapy for your child and have concerns about the process, feel free to email me at [**DrCarosso@aol.com**](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). I wish you and your child the very best. God bless. ### Why Is It Important To Teach Our Kids about Independence Day? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:12.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Are We Celebrating on %E2%80%9CThe Fourth%E2%80%9D Also Known as %E2%80%9CIndependence Day%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#What%5FAre%5FWe%5FCelebrating%5Fon%5F%E2%80%9CThe%5FFourth%E2%80%9D%5FAlso%5FKnown%5Fas%5F%E2%80%9CIndependence%5FDay%E2%80%9D) - [Why is This Important For Our Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#Why%5Fis%5FThis%5FImportant%5FFor%5FOur%5FKids) - - - [Liberty and Responsibility](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#Liberty%5Fand%5FResponsibility) - [Independence as a Virtue Individualism and Self-Determination](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#Independence%5Fas%5Fa%5FVirtue%5FIndividualism%5Fand%5FSelf-Determination) - - [That We Can Continue to Grow Evolve and Improve](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#That%5FWe%5FCan%5FContinue%5Fto%5FGrow%5FEvolve%5Fand%5FImprove) - [Happy Independence Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-is-it-important-to-teach-our-kids-about-independence-day/#Happy%5FIndependence%5FDay) *Celebrating the 4th of July is one of those fond traditions of summer. This post from 2021 talks about how the principles our country was founded on can be used to teach the characteristics that will help them be well-rounded and successful adults.* ### **What Are We Celebrating on “The Fourth”, Also Known as “Independence Day”?** The Fourth commemorates the unanimous adoption of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain, by the second Continental Congress in 1776\. This declaration culminated in our revolutionary war that ended in 1783\. It was then that Britain recognized the United States as an independent and sovereign country. ## **Why is This Important For Our Kids?** We want our kids to know our history, and how we ‘came to be.’ However, there’s more. The same principles on which our country was founded are the same characteristics we want to develop in our children. Here is a run-down of those principles: #### **Liberty and Responsibility** A primary goal of the American Revolution was the pursuit of liberty. As was so eloquently phrased, *“We hold these truths self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”* Liberty is different than freedom, with the former comes a measure of personal accountability and responsibility. Above all, our Founders strongly believed that with liberty, comes personal accountability. You want to instill those same values in your children – we have unimaginable freedoms in our everyday life, but we also have a responsibility to our family and fellow citizens and should expect to be held accountable for our actions. ### Independence as a Virtue: Individualism and Self-Determination Another founding principle is that we all have moral worth, and each should be valued to make one’s own decisions. This is accompanied by the principle of individualism; we are individuals apart from the collective and each has to make his or her own way in life. Yes, we have an obligation to behave morally and help our fellow citizens when we can, but each of us is responsible for our own well-being. We make our own decisions and therefore take responsibility for the outcomes, good or bad, and expect to be accountable for those decisions. It would behoove us to raise our children with this understanding and appreciation, which will serve them well into adulthood. **Appealing to Virtue, a Higher Power, and Morality** Our Founding Fathers believed that the ability to govern ourselves rests with our individual and collective virtue (or moral character). This virtue stems from a Higher Power, or God, from Whom originate our rights. As was written by John Adams, “it is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is pure virtue.” We want our children to stand firm in the knowledge that without a strong sense of morality, a firm sense of ‘right and wrong’, based on a Power Who stands above us, we will fail on a personal level and as a society. #### **That We Can Continue to Grow, Evolve, and Improve** Our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution allowed for growth and a trend toward improvement as a society. The concept that ‘all men are created equal’ was among our founding principles. It provided a foundation that compelled our country in the direction of increasing freedom and equality. Has not the United States trended in the direction of increased inclusiveness and is a far different place than in the 1700s? How about compared to the 1800s? In addition, how have we grown as a nation since the 1950s? What about over the past decade? Is there any other country as diverse as the United States that has progressed as much and as quickly? Is there any other diverse country that is freer and with as much opportunity for all? If so, which country is that? – I suppose we’ll all move there. We want our children to know that our country has made immeasurable progress in a remarkably brief time. You want your kids to know that they too, as individuals, are expected to learn from their mistakes. They are expected to grow and mature, learn and evolve. Above all, they should aspire to become something better and improve America. #### **Happy Independence Day** I hope you have a fun and relaxing Independence Day as you had cookouts with family and pondered the remarkable aspects of our country. I wish you the very best in your ongoing pursuit of teaching your kids these founding principles and helping them live out these aspirations every day. If you need any help along the way, never hesitate to reach out; you can find out more at [HelpForYourChild.com](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). May God bless you and your children, and this wonderful country in which we live. ### Summer Break is Fast Approaching URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:45.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [For All the Planners](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#For%5FAll%5Fthe%5FPlanners) - - [Feeling Creative](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#Feeling%5FCreative) - [Not Everything Has to Be %E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D Over Summer Break](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#Not%5FEverything%5FHas%5Fto%5FBe%5F%E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D%5FOver%5FSummer%5FBreak) - - [Childcare Babysitting and Summer Camps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#Childcare%5FBabysitting%5Fand%5FSummer%5FCamps) - [Keeping a Daily Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#Keeping%5Fa%5FDaily%5FRoutine) - - [As the Summer Winds Down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-break-is-fast-approaching/#As%5Fthe%5FSummer%5FWinds%5FDown) *A version of this post appeared in the Spring of 2021.* It’s Spring, and the summer break from school will be here before you know it. I would hate to have you awaken that fateful day in June with the incessant “I’m bored”, or loud screaming that typically accompanies siblings being home together all day. Oh, the joys of summer. There is much to think about, and all kinds of activities to do. It can be overwhelming just trying to fit everything in the few short months before summer ends. On the other hand, it can seem like, without the schedule of classes and school activities, some kids are in a hopeless state of boredom over summer break. ## **For All the Planners** A very effective way to plan for the summer while squeezing out every drop of fun you can is to get a calendar and plan the entire summer out, week by week. You may have some day-long, or week-long camps; the annual summer vacation to the beach or Disney, your kid’s sporting events, a trip to Aunt Rhoda’s… Once you have those regular events scheduled, you can start getting creative. Oh, by the way, if your child has special needs, contact the Park (Disney…) they formerly provided passes to avoid long wait times. ### **Feeling Creative?** I’ll bet your family has a bucket list of fun and ‘different’ things you all would like to do but haven’t. Often, we don’t do fun things because we don’t plan for them. So, plan the activities and get that small flower garden planted, bake some cookies, go camping in the backyard, go on that day trip to Gettysburg, project a movie on your garage door and have a homemade drive-in, do some star-gazing, start an annual neighborhood kickball tournament and, of course, can’t forget about getting a net (not a Wiffle bat) and catching lightning bugs. ## **Not Everything Has to Be “Fun” Over Summer Break** You may include some things in the summer agenda that aren’t necessarily fun but are still worthwhile. Summer is an excellent time to home your kids’ skills such as math, writing, or reading. If your child has special education services, talk to the Principal now about whether your child qualifies for Extended School Year (ESY). Teach the kiddos how to do various chores around the house (how to wash the family car…) or do a family project such as cleaning out that garage. In fact, sometimes those ‘chores’, if done together as a family, can be a bonding experience, especially when the outcome is achieved by everyone’s hard work. If your child is on the spectrum, summer break is when you can be more indulgent in your child’s obsessive interests. But only after the non-preferred is done, and don’t overindulge! Also, in the same vein, there can be a tendency to isolate and avoid social encounters; be sure to incorporate supervised social encounters into the calendar. You may find it helpful to plan trips to the zoo, local library, autism-friendly theater, and bookstore. Also, don’t forget for all kiddos: daily running around and lots of physical activity. ### **Childcare, Babysitting, and Summer Camps** Babysitters and childcare tend to get filled up pretty quickly, so don’t delay in connecting with that local teenager who does a great job with your kids, or that daycare provider who comes highly recommended by your friends. Reserve the spots and make deposits, based on the schedule mentioned earlier. Also, start now to reserve spots for summer camps: they fill up very quickly. If your child has special needs and will be attending a therapeutic camp, call your child’s case manager for an updated list of camps. You should also contact your child’s psychologist to obtain a current prescription. If you want to enroll your special needs child into a typical camp or activity, and believe he’ll need individualized attention, you may be able to obtain[***IBHS (formerly ‘wraparound services’)***](https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=helpforyourchild.com&t=h.eJw1jcEOwiAQBX%5FFcLalWCilp%5F4KLYtg0TWwjWmM%5F24w8fgyeTNvtufEphMLRM8ycR4gPT3mA%5Fe8hphcu-KdJ6DSkE1bYxfcqYlLKJydT2yr1wcQ5qsnabS8aMltSrHgY6YXUoiZjju4aH8i4%5FTolLNCCgCzwqhdr3wnNSzeq1FxocXQm04MplVjLUAt3GC1GUvB2WKqokpcJf%5F9-QKXR0A2.MEYCIQDFNCs2ULxcTvhGHlUHPECjR4CP1BJgzTA5kUQjjE8gbAIhAPK0lm1yGUXMgIQJobvKvmOKK9Z-hAJM5DNX0ShaVzLs&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Contact me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) to further discuss this option. ## **Keeping a Daily Routine** Summer is a time for relaxation, being laid back, and being more flexible and free-flowing. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Maintaining some semblance of routine can be helpful. This is especially true if it involves getting past the less favored tasks to move on to more fun activities. If your child has special needs, maintaining a consistent routine is even more important. In fact, be sure he knows about the schedule, what to expect, and answer any questions beforehand. A picture schedule is also very helpful! ### **As the Summer Winds Down** I hate to write about the summer ending when it hasn’t even begun. But one should keep in mind the importance of getting more and more into a school routine as the summer comes to a close. The last week of summer should be very close to the school routine in terms of bedtime and wake-up. **Have a wonderful summer!!!** ### Strategies To Address School Refusal URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:43.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Your Child Wont Go to School](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#Your%5FChild%5FWont%5FGo%5Fto%5FSchool) - [Physical Complaints](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#Physical%5FComplaints) - [What Causes School Refusal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#What%5FCauses%5FSchool%5FRefusal) - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - - [What If Your Child is Too Big To Carry Them Into School](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#What%5FIf%5FYour%5FChild%5Fis%5FToo%5FBig%5FTo%5FCarry%5FThem%5FInto%5FSchool) - [Can Counseling Help School Refusal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#Can%5FCounseling%5FHelp%5FSchool%5FRefusal) - - [What About In-Home Services](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#What%5FAbout%5FIn-Home%5FServices) - [Should You Try Home or Cyber Schooling](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#Should%5FYou%5FTry%5FHome%5For%5FCyber%5FSchooling) - [When to Consider An Alternative School Placement](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#When%5Fto%5FConsider%5FAn%5FAlternative%5FSchool%5FPlacement) - - [Summing Up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal-2024-update/#Summing%5FUp) As this school year comes to a close, I speak with many parents who have struggled with school refusal and are worried about managing the next school year. This post describes the nature of school refusal and some strategies and considerations to address this challenging situation. ### **Your Child Won’t Go to School** An all-too-common situation (especially since COVID-19) is a child being reluctant or even refusing to attend school. This post will focus on anxiety-based refusal; the child is refusing to attend school due to genuine anxiety reactions. Consequently, the night before school your child is fretting about the next day, and the mornings are fraught with drama and emotion as you try to convince your child to attend. And commonly they continue to resist and present as emotional, maybe even to the point of vomiting. ### **Physical Complaints** Does your child complain of stomachaches, headaches, and vague pains, or simply not feeling well especially the morning before school? This is quite common. Anxiety often manifests in somatic complaints that further complicate the situation given you’re not sure if the complaint is genuine or simply to avoid school. ### **What Causes School Refusal**? This problem can be seen as simply a manifestation of an anxiety disorder. In that respect, anxiety shows itself in lots of different ways but a primary aspect of anxiety is a tendency to avoid that which makes us anxious. In this situation, the prospect of attending school, leaving home/mom, or both, is causing undue anxiety and panic reactions. People are often genetically predisposed to anxiety. ## **What To Do?** There are number of steps to address this issue, depending on the age/size of your child and the severity of the problem. The goal is always to rely on the carrot, rather than the stick. In that respect, we want to rely on praise, rewards, encouragement, and incentives rather than punishments. Consequently, we offer extra rewards for going to school, and often we’ll remove enticing past-times if the child refuses school, such as toys and video games. However, if your child continues to refuse and your child is small and manageable in that respect, you may find it necessary to physically escort or literally carry your child to school. You may want to enlist some help, such as mom and dad working together in that respect, but the message is ‘you’re going to school one way or the other’. Once your child realizes that their avoidance and emotion is futile, usually you’ll notice improvement and less resistance. If your child refuses to get dressed in the morning, some parents have had success informing their child that they will be taken to school in their pajamas, if that’s necessary, and they can change in the nurse’s office. In that respect, this is a solidly no-nonsense approach to school refusal. ### **What If Your Child is Too Big To Carry Them Into School?** Things get more complicated when your child is larger, and you can't physically escort or carry them into school. It’s advised to utilize counseling, which will be discussed further below. Also, reinforcement for attendance and we also make the home life (during the school day) as boring as possible to entice school attendance. However, what if that doesn’t work? ### **Can Counseling Help School Refusal?** In these situations, it’s helpful to utilize professional support such as a therapist. At [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)***,*** we can utilize outpatient counseling, in-home support, and medication management to help the situation. The therapist will work on coping skills, deep breathing, healthy self-talk, and desensitization techniques. The latter involves getting your child out of the house daily and in the presence of others that could include a sport, club, group, church, or anywhere there are people. There should not be a day that goes by that your child is not out of the house. Even better, play at the school’s park, meet up with friends from your child’s classroom for play dates, and ask for videos or Facetime from his or teacher with enthusiastic and fun messages. Medication can also be considered to reduce anxiety and improve general emotional stability. #### **What About In-Home Services?** Counseling can also take the form of [***in-home services (IBHS…)***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/). This approach can be helpful if the practitioner can come to the home in the morning and assist in getting the child to school. Here at ***Community Psychiatric Centers***, we offer such in-home support, which can be invaluable. The Youth Advocate Program also offers an in-home truancy prevention program that can be worth exploring. ### **Should You Try Home or Cyber Schooling?** While you’re trying to get your child to school, your child needs to be educated. How will that take place? Often the school district will send homework, which helps to keep up some assignment completion but clearly, it’s not a long-term solution and does not facilitate your child to receive a proper education. Some parents will consider a cyber school, which isn’t necessarily a bad option under the following conditions: 1. You’ve tried all the above to get your child to school, to no avail 2. Weeks are going by, and you’re worried about truancy charges and your child’s lack of education at home 3. You consider cyber school while, at the same time, your child is getting out-of-the-house on a daily basis for groups, clubs, church, sports, walks, trips to the store, going to the park or library, to anywhere there are people. 4. It’s considered time-limited as you’re assertively working toward getting your child to a brick-and-mortar school. 5. You start with cyber and then work your child, one class at a time, back to regular school. 6. Preferably a cyber-school that offers synchronous teaching (live teaching with a live classroom). ### **When to Consider An Alternative School Placement**... An alternative school placement is often considered such as a school-based partial program or alternative school. The idea is that the alternative placement will offer smaller classrooms and more support to help your child feel comfortable. This option has merit and can be quite helpful in the short term! The goal would be to progressively get your child back to regular school. However, what I’ve found, is that we can’t get the child to the alternative school any more than we can get them to regular school. #### **Summing Up** Managing school refusal can be quite a challenge. We use multiple strategies, with the ultimate goal of getting the child back to a brick-and-mortar school classroom. Otherwise, we run the risk of the child becoming increasingly anxiety-ridden and housebound. While we’re working on attending a regular school, there is involvement in daily out-of-the-home activities. In the meantime, a cyber school may be attempted, but such would be time limited with a step-by-step approach to a return to regular school. Counseling and medication can be helpful, especially in-home support. Alternative school placements can be very effective if you can get your child to the placement. Don’t hesitate to email any questions to [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) or call for an appointment at (724) 850-7200\. God bless you and your kids. ### Easter And The Power of Hope URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:46.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Vital Nature of Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/#The%5FVital%5FNature%5Fof%5FHope) - [Hope and Resilience](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/#Hope%5Fand%5FResilience) - [Hope and Managing Challenges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/#Hope%5Fand%5FManaging%5FChallenges) - [Easter and Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/#Easter%5Fand%5FHope) - [Tap Into This Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope-repost/#Tap%5FInto%5FThis%5FHope) *Today's post was shared previously but serves as a reminder of how important hope is for all children, especially children and families who struggle with behavioral or emotional issues.* ## **The Vital Nature of Hope** *“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all”.* \- Emily Dickinson. It’s hard to overstate the importance of hope. The more hope, the stronger the drive, and it doesn’t dare to ever stop, nor even feel the need to. Hope drives everything from completing daily tasks to reaching our goals, dreams, and ambitions. It is the fuel that carries us over the ridge and up the mountain. Hope is the light that carries us through the darkest of impasses. Laina Taylor described that “*hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic*.” ## **Hope and Resilience** It’s well-established in the research that hope is the foundation of a person’s resilience and ability to experience struggle and strife without giving in. Often, the best predictor of whether a person will commit self-harm is not a troubling situation or sadness, not even if they feel [***depressed***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/). No, the best predictor is a lack of hope. If we instill hope, we instill life; the more hope - the more zeal for life. As it has been said, “*Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers*” - Robert Ingersoll. ## **Hope and Managing Challenges** “*Hope is a verb with its shirtsleeves rolled up*” - David Orr. We all face tough times, challenges, and situations that seem daunting. We may be facing a major obstacle, but it’s far more manageable if we have hope for a positive outcome. Or we hope that slowly but surely and step-by-step, we can make a positive impact and move the ball forward. Hope makes all the difference! We see its power during such difficult times. “*Hope is like a star – not seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity*”. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon ## **Easter and Hope** Christians celebrate this time of the year – Easter (also known as Resurrection Day) as the holiest of our holy days. Clearly, if not for Easter and the resurrection, there would be no Christianity. Easter represents the essence of hope, especially hope in the time of darkness. Through Christ and the overcoming power of Easter, we have hope for the forgiveness of our sins, power over the carnal, and faith that we can overcome and be triumphant, just as Christ. As Christians, this hope is a gift. As Jeremiah tells us “*For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future*”. Yes, it’s a gift, but this hope is also *instilled* within us, as Paul writes in Romans: *“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirt*”. Easter reflects that hope, with faith, is the most important of the Christian virtues. ## **Tap Into This Hope** We gain hope through our celebration of Easter; moreover, God gives us resources that too can instill hope. It’s always my goal, and the goal of everyone at [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), to instill hope by educating and providing guidance on how to manage emotions, calm thoughts, and effectively redirect challenging behaviors. I invite you to tap into these resources. They can make your life, and that of your child, far more meaningful, hopeful, and successful. If you need any guidance in that respect, feel free to email me at [***DrCarosso@aol.com***](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com)***.*** May God deeply bless you and your family this Easter. May you be instilled with a full measure of hope during this most sacred of Christian holidays. ### The Facts and Fallacies of ADHD URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:10.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Are the Primary Symptoms of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#What%5FAre%5Fthe%5FPrimary%5FSymptoms%5Fof%5FADHD) - [Is It Just An Excuse](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Is%5FIt%5FJust%5FAn%5FExcuse) - [Is Using Medication to Treat ADDADHD Safe](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Is%5FUsing%5FMedication%5Fto%5FTreat%5FADDADHD%5FSafe) - [The Fallacy of %22Just Discipline%22 for ADDADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#The%5FFallacy%5Fof%5F%22Just%5FDiscipline%22%5Ffor%5FADDADHD) - [Feedback From Teachers](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Feedback%5FFrom%5FTeachers) - [Is There An ADHD Test](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Is%5FThere%5FAn%5FADHD%5FTest) - [Do They Grow Out of It](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Do%5FThey%5FGrow%5FOut%5Fof%5FIt) - [What Can Happen if ADDADHD is Not Treated](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#What%5FCan%5FHappen%5Fif%5FADDADHD%5Fis%5FNot%5FTreated) - [When is it Too Much of A Good Thing](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#When%5Fis%5Fit%5FToo%5FMuch%5Fof%5FA%5FGood%5FThing) - [Reach Out With Questions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-facts-and-fallacies-of-adhd/#Reach%5FOut%5FWith%5FQuestions) Today we will target and dispel the facts and fallacies regarding Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADD/ADHD. Some of the common fallacies addressed include: 1. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is not a genuine disorder 2. Medication is unsafe and causes dependency 3. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is used as an excuse for underachievement 4. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder children just need more discipline to do better in school. 5. That teachers unnecessarily try to push children onto medication when they don't need it, and that 6. Behavioral interventions alone are enough. 7. Children outgrow this condition at some point in their lives in all cases 8. Ritalin and other stimulant medications have increased dramatically. ### What Are the Primary Symptoms of ADHD? First, let's review the primary symptoms of this condition and how it appears. There are three types of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: 1. *Inattentive Type*, also referred to as Attention Deficit Disorder or “ADD” 2. *Hyperactive-Impulsive Type* 3. *Combined Type*, which would be a combination of the Inattentive as well as the Hyperactive and Impulsive Type. The most commonly diagnosed types would include the Inattentive and the Combined Types, and the reason for that is it's rather rare for a child to be hyperactive and impulsive and not be inattentive at the same time. These children tend to be fidgety, struggle to remain in their seats, they’re always on the go, have poor interpersonal boundaries at times, have trouble occupying their time appropriately and quietly, and tend to blurt out comments and questions in the classroom. These children tend to have difficulty waiting for their turns, are inattentive, have difficulty following instructions, and have a propensity for being disorganized, losing items, and being forgetful. These signs and symptoms must be present before seven years of age. They also have to be evident in two or more settings and they have to be evident over the course of at least six months. Most importantly, the symptoms must cause significant impairment in the child's life. Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder occurs far more frequently in boys than in girls and it seems to run in families. Also, this is a very common condition; Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is present in three to five percent of all school-age children, making it a common diagnosis and problem that all children face. ### Is It Just An Excuse? We often hear from teachers and parents that children are underachieving in school, don’t listen, can’t pay attention, fall behind in their class work, and are at risk for failure. One of the fallacies that we need to address is that ADHD diagnosis is an excuse for underachievement. ADD/ADHD can be a challenge, but it’s certainly not an excuse. At CPC, we go to great pains to work with children to help them understand that they can utilize coping strategies and teach themselves to self-monitor, pace themselves accordingly, and use a host of other coping strategies. We also work with parents and teachers to help them utilize various accommodations in the environment so that the child can be more successful. A successful child is not looking for excuses, so in that situation, everybody wins. ### Is Using Medication to Treat ADD/ADHD Safe? It is not uncommon for the treatment process to include aspects of medication management, and there are a host of fallacies and concerns about medication issues: is medication effective? Is it safe? Practitioners have been treating Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder with stimulant medications since 1938\. Ritalin is probably the most studied of medications used in childhood populations. There have been no reported deaths by overdose of a stimulant medication alone. In general, this is a very safe medication. There are some side effects that need to be closely monitored, which can include decreased appetite, trouble falling asleep, some moodiness that can come and go, as well as tics that especially need to be closely monitored. These are short-acting preparations and if the child does not get that medication on the next day, most if not all of the medication is out of their system and any of the side effects are usually gone. Research has shown that this is a very safe medication in general. ### The Fallacy of "Just Discipline" for ADD/ADHD Some would suggest that all these children really need is to lay down the law’ and parents are simply being too lenient, which is why they’re having behavioral problems. This idea is misguided. Yes, these children need consistent routines, predictability, clear expectations, and a firm approach. The approach needs to be based on positive reinforcement, high expectations, and lots of positive regard and patience. However, a large portion of these children’s behavioral difficulties are beyond their control. They struggle with impulsivity and need improved coping strategies and lots of extra structure and support in their environment. Keep in mind that this is a biological condition that a child inherits, sometimes from their parent, probably caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that deals with dopamine or norepinephrine transmission in the brain. At[***Community Psychiatric Centers***](https://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)***,*** we combine the use of medication with other treatment modalities, which might include individual therapy with the child, behavior modification techniques that are implemented in the home and school settings, the use of social skills training for the child to learn how to adapt and adjust to their symptoms, and the use of family support groups and family therapy to help the family deal with a child that is often quite hyperactive and sometimes 'climbing the walls’, impulsive, and involved in risk-taking. Once the set treatment modalities are implemented, the family stress is often greatly reduced. ### Feedback From Teachers Another common myth is that teachers are pushing parents to medicate their children when they see attention problems in their classrooms. Maybe there are some situations where a teacher expresses concern to a parent and mentions that medication may be helpful. Of course, that shouldn’t happen, as teachers are not medical practitioners and they shouldn’t be making those types of recommendations. We’ve found, however, typically that’s rather rare. What we have found is that teachers tend to be invaluable resources in the assessment process. They tend to be excellent judges of whether a child is having genuine attention problems. Consequently, if your child’s teacher expressed some concerns to you about your child being off-task or easily distracted, it’s probably best not to get defensive about that but, rather, simply contact us here at Community Psychiatric. Again, teachers can be excellent resources in this process and they tend to know what’s going on with your child in terms of attention and concentration. ### Is There An ADHD Test? There is no single test to establish a [***diagnosis***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-carossos-ebook-the-adhd-diagnosis-severity-level-and-treatment-options/)***.*** There is no blood test. We do know that there are factors that can help confirm the diagnosis, including the direct signs and symptoms evidenced in different settings, over a long period of time, and significantly impairing daily functioning. It also is compelling if a blood relative parent has the condition too. Other factors can include prenatal effects of drug and alcohol abuse, trauma in a parent prenatally, or problems during birth. When the child is evaluated at Community Psychiatric Centers, we take all these factors into consideration. The child is observed for a considerable length of time, an objective assessment is completed by various observers, and a comprehensive history is obtained. It’s also vital to rule out other factors or conditions that might look like ADD/ADHD, including an anxiety disorder. ### Do They Grow Out of It? Another common question is “Will my child grow out of this”? What does the future hold?” There are several quality follow-up studies that suggest that about seventy percent of children who are diagnosed with ADHD in childhood will continue to have that diagnosis in adolescence. Between fifteen and fifty percent of those adolescents will then carry the diagnosis into adulthood. What that suggests is that some kids do grow out of it. However, there are quite a number who continue to have the signs and symptoms into adulthood, which would of course reflect the need for ongoing treatment and monitoring. ### What Can Happen if ADD/ADHD is Not Treated? A child who is untreated can develop problems in school, fail in their subjects, be labeled as a ‘problem child’, and experience social difficulties with their peers. Research has shown that, as they grow older, these individuals experience increasing rates of divorce, job loss, drug and alcohol abuse, and problems with driving including a greater number of accidents. It’s very important to have this condition treated, sometimes for one’s entire life, to avoid some of these complications. In fact, with treatment, the prognosis is quite good. ### When is it Too Much of A Good Thing? The last fallacy that we need to address is that Ritalin has been overproduced and that there has been a 600% increase in the production of this particular medication. While the production rates of this drug have increased, the question is still open as to who is getting this medication. A large portion of it is probably being administered to adults and geriatric patients, who use it for treatment of other conditions such as narcolepsy or memory loss. Moreover, of the three-and-a-half-million children who are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD in the United States, only about half of them are being treated with medications. The number of children treated with medications is still far below what it could be. It’s certainly not an overproduction of the medication or a pushing of it to children who don’t need it. ### Reach Out With Questions “My nine-year-old’s teacher says my child is off-task, distracted, and not completing schoolwork. ADD has been mentioned. However, he also seems sad and worries about a lot of things. What do you think?” This brings up an excellent point; we always rule out competing contributors to a child’s off-task behavior and attention deficit issues. We need to rule out anxiety problems, depression, or a child who has possibly been traumatized in some way. A child who has these difficulties tends to be off-task; the child is preoccupied and, subsequently, distracted. It’s vitally important to rule out any other possible contributors to a child’s distractibility and treat accordingly. Children who are depressed can often appear distracted and inattentive. They can look like they have ADD/ADHD but in actuality they are depressed. A child can also have both depression and ADHD or Bipolar Disorder and ADHD together. So those need to be ruled out and treated appropriately. [***Contact us***](https://www.cpcwecare.com/contact/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) here at CPC. We hope you found this resource to be helpful. Don’t hesitate to call or email with any questions along the way. We’re always available to answer questions, evaluate, treat, and provide ongoing consultation. Thanks and God bless. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor; Plus Bonus Christmas Day Post! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:19.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Im Expected to Do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#What%5FIm%5FExpected%5Fto%5FDo%E2%80%A6) - [Is There More](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Is%5FThere%5FMore) - - [Seems Only Fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Seems%5FOnly%5FFitting) - [Tap Into the Source of Faith](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Tap%5FInto%5Fthe%5FSource%5Fof%5FFaith) - [Christmas Bonus Post What Makes Christmas so Special](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Christmas%5FBonus%5FPost%5FWhat%5FMakes%5FChristmas%5Fso%5FSpecial) - [What Makes Christmas so Special](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#What%5FMakes%5FChristmas%5Fso%5FSpecial) - [Basic Questions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Basic%5FQuestions) - - - [Does God speak to us and in what ways](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Does%5FGod%5Fspeak%5Fto%5Fus%5Fand%5Fin%5Fwhat%5Fways) - [Scripture that speaks to Gods glory being revealed in creation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Scripture%5Fthat%5Fspeaks%5Fto%5FGods%5Fglory%5Fbeing%5Frevealed%5Fin%5Fcreation) - [God also communicates with us through His written Word](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#God%5Falso%5Fcommunicates%5Fwith%5Fus%5Fthrough%5FHis%5Fwritten%5FWord) - - [Is the Bible credible](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Is%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fcredible) - - [John 1 1 %E2%80%93 John was a fisherman - please take a moment and read this- its truly remarkable both in content and beauty](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#John%5F1%5F1%5F%E2%80%93%5FJohn%5Fwas%5Fa%5Ffisherman%5F-%5Fplease%5Ftake%5Fa%5Fmoment%5Fand%5Fread%5Fthis-%5Fits%5Ftruly%5Fremarkable%5Fboth%5Fin%5Fcontent%5Fand%5Fbeauty) - [Is the Bible authentic has the Bible been altered](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Is%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fauthentic%5Fhas%5Fthe%5FBible%5Fbeen%5Faltered) - [Prophecy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Prophecy) - - [Need more evidence](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Need%5Fmore%5Fevidence) - [Not only changed lives but a changed world](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Not%5Fonly%5Fchanged%5Flives%5Fbut%5Fa%5Fchanged%5Fworld) - [Thats a wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16/#Thats%5Fa%5Fwrap) *Sharing this post is one of my favorite traditions. This Christmas blog post was first put up on HelpForYourChild.com back in 2012\. It has been helping families recognize the role Faith plays in helping families and childhood difficulties.* *For this Christmas, I have expanded upon this classic article, starting with the section titled *"Christmas Bonus Post: What Makes Christmas so Special* *?"** ### What I’m Expected to Do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be a good listener (Client-Centered techniques), stay in the moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways ([***Applied Behavioral Analysis***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/)). ## Is There More? Well, yes there is. Help for your child is sometimes more than just a clinical approach. I’m usually not expected to focus on spirituality but, sometimes, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have access to a large lifeboat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems Only Fitting During Christmas, it's good to remember that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves. And in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ## Tap Into the Source of Faith Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). As a practicing Christian, tapping into that life-changing Source entails following [***Romans 10:9***](https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ROM.10.9.NIV?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? ## Christmas Bonus Post: What Makes Christmas so Special? ## **What Makes Christmas so Special?** Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, and the beginning of what has become known as “Christianity”. To suggest that the ‘Christian’ movement has been impactful would be an understatement; however, detractors remain. There have always been questions about veracity, reliability, and authenticity. This post will address those questions. ## **Basic Questions** Since the beginning of time, dating back to Aristotle, people have asked deep philosophical questions about the meaning of life. Clearly, these questions are worthwhile, however, before we can answer the loftier philosophical questions, there are ***foundational* *questions*** that first need answered. The answers to these basic questions lay the foundation for subsequent philosophical inquiry. In fact, one could argue that the loftier philosophical questions are moot until these basic questions are answered, such as: Who created the universe? It can be legitimately argued that something cannot come from nothing. Did “God” create the universe and therefore, in doing so, create our current *existence* and *reality*? Do we exist subsequent to evolution (by chance), or at the intentional hand of God? There is, in fact, overwhelming evidence for God and Intelligent Design. Among a litany of other questions including the origins of the Big Bang, secularists still need to answer who wrote all the complex and voluminous ‘code’ (DNA) that’s in every cell of every living organism directing the cell on precisely what to do. If there is a God, and He created everything, then is it not logical that He is the authority of the nature of our *reality* and *existence*. #### Does God speak to us, and in what ways? If God Created the Universe, and is authoritative, how does He speak to us, and can we trust that it’s true and accurate? Does God inform us – does He tell us what He wants us to know about our *reality* and *existence*? If so, how does He inform us? In what ways? Are these ways authoritative, convincing, and based in clear evidence as opposed to relying on ‘blind faith’? **God speaks to us through His creation – this fact is rather self-evident, or at least it was until evolution muddied the waters.** It could be argued that the world, universe, earth, people, organisms, plants, formations… are beyond compare and breathtakingly complex. The entire eco-system is inter-connected and exquisitely balanced. Creation is beyond our understanding and, as it’s clearly indicated in the Bible, He intended that we would be in awe of Him with every glance at what He created. ### **Scripture that speaks to God’s glory being revealed in creation:** *The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies declare the work of His hands, day after day they pour forth speech, night after night the display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard, their voice is heard through all the earth, their words to the end of the world. Psalm 19:1* *From the beginning of creation, God’s eternal power and divine nature, though invisible, has been understood and known by the things He has created. Therefore, they are without excuse (for not believing). Romans 1:20* ## **God also communicates with us through His written Word** God communicates with us through his creation. He also communicates with us through His Word *God provided us a clear and concise owner’s manual, and an understanding of our history and our future – through the Bible. Take time to read the Bible, and see for yourself.* ### **Is the Bible credible?** All Christian denominations acknowledge the same 66 Books of the Bible. Remarkable, these 66 books were written over thousands of years, by over 40 writers of at least three different languages, spread over three different continents, yet the Bible is inextricably interwoven to tell ONE coherent, logical, inerrant description of God and His personality, His people, what He wants for and from us, and His plans for us. The Bible has many writers, but only one Author. It’s also important to appreciate how wonderfully and powerfully the Bible is written – its phrasing is beautiful and poetic, and the most complex spiritual and philosophical concepts are clearly explained by people who were not exactly trained in writing and literature. For example, #### **John 1:1 – (John was a fisherman) - please take a moment and read this- it’s truly remarkable both in content and beauty:** *In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God, He was with God from the beginning. Through Him all things were made, without Him nothing has been made that has been made. In Him is life, and that life is the light of man. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man sent from God, whose name was John (the Baptist), he himself was not the light, he came only as a witness to the light. The true light, the light of every man, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. But to everyone who did receive Him, whomever believed in his name, He gave the right to be called children of God; children born not of natural descent, or human decision, or a husband’s will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father’s side, has made Him known.* ### **Is the Bible authentic (has the Bible been altered)?** The Bible is derided by some as *unsubstantiated fiction*, however, there are over 24,000 early manuscripts of the Bible dating to within *100* years of Christ’s death. By comparison, the works of Homer, Ceasar, Plato, Tacitus, Thucydides, Herodotus and many other ancients are often *accepted as truth* in secular culture and are taught in school. However, there are only 7 copies of Plato’s work from 1,300 years after his death; Ceasar – 1000 years and only 10 copies; Aristotle 1,400 years after his death and only 49 copies; Homer – 500 years with 643 copies; Thucydides 1.300 years and 8 copies… there is really no comparison. It is clear that the Bible is accurate, true, and authentic dating back to the original text. **Between His creation, and His Word, God made is crystal clear that He is God, that He is real, and that we can know Him.** **But He did not stop there.** ## **Prophecy** No other theological book has such prophecy to back-up its authenticity. There are about 2,500 prophecies in the Bible, and about 2000 have already been fulfilled to the letter. The remaining 500 are regarding our future, and we can rest-assured Jesus is coming back to fulfill those as well. The odds of these prophesies having been fulfilled by chance without error is less than one in 10 to the 2000th power (1 with 2000 zero’s after it). Look to Genesis, Exodus, Daniel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, books of Kings and Second Kings, actually, it’s hard to find a book in the Bible that does not have prophecy, and they all came to pass. There are also prophecies fulfilled in the New Testament – Jesus fulfilled hundreds of Old Testament prophecies and He also made many others – too many to recount here in this post. No other religion has such compelling evidence – how can all these prophecies be explained except that they came directly from a God who wants us to know, without a shadow of doubt, that He is real - wants us to know about Him and that He wants to engage with us if only we’ll open the door to Him. ### **Need more evidence?** **God makes Himself ‘real’ in our lives through the Holy Spirit; by adopting us, being our Father and friend, and changing our lives.** **The testimony of changed lives** It’s difficult for unbelievers to understand this concept of the Holy Spirt and His impact on our daily life – it’s like trying to explain the breathing of air to a fish, which is sad because this ‘breath of life’ is beyond compare and there is nothing as powerful, satisfying, rewarding, or convincing as the Holy Spirit directly impacting one’s life. There is no mistaking or denying the presence of the Holy Spirit that is without compare and life-changing. ***For the message of the cross \[the Gospel\] is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God*** ***1 Corinthians* 1:18** God changes lives - there are countless Christians who testify that their relationship with Jesus changed their life, delivered them from sin and any number of addictions, changed and renewed their mind, and opened their eyes to a new spiritual reality. Christians describe their experience and world as unequivocally ‘different’ after encountering Christ - not perfect, but getting better and different from the old self. Sometimes that ‘difference’ is extraordinarily, sometimes more subtle, but always there is a change. *Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17* ### **Not only changed lives, but a changed world** Judeo-Christian teachings, values, and tenets shaped and guided Western culture and civilization as we know it today. We take-for-granted our God-given freedoms, rights, and civil-liberties that have changed the course of human history. The Declaration of Independence, our Constitution, and capitalism - all driven by Judeo-Christian concepts and teachings; and our very concept of morality – what is right and wrong, comes from the Bible - how else do we genuinely know what’s ‘right’ unless God tells us; otherwise, it’s only opinion. Also, our concepts of marriage, the family, respect for women, racial equality and equal treatment for all – come from the Bible. The abolishing of slavery was spear-headed through the work of Christians (the abolitionist movement was largely a Christian movement and churches often served as hiding spots that made-up the Underground Railroad). Our justice system and due process is based on the Bible, as-is our current hospital and university system (most hospitals were started by churches and many of our top universities began as seminaries). Our current foster and adoptive care system is based on the work of the church. In fact, the concept of a middle-class work-force is based in Christianity; prior, there was only the very rich, very poor, and slaves and that model, by the way, continues to exist in most of the non-Christian world. What about respect and care for children – yep, a Biblical standard. Moreover, the world’s greatest artists, musicians, writers, and architects all claim their work as inspired by God. Moreover, the greatest scientists were inspired by God and His creation. Not to mention that most charity work is Christian-based. Finally, of course, no one has sacrificed more, and changed more lives for the better than Jesus Christ. ## **That’s a wrap** Those are just a few things that make Christmas so special. He came humbly to this earth as a baby in a manger, but no one has so dramatically changed lives and changed the world. He left us with His Spirit and His church; and His Word has been shown to be true and authentic. So, in the light of this glorious Christmas Spirit, I wish you the happiest and merriest Christmas season, and that you and yours would not only know about Him, but personally come to know the one whose birth we celebrate - all you have to do is ask. “When you come looking for me, you will find me” Jeremiah 29:13 Merry Christmas. ### Managing the Holiday Season URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:41.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Good Tidings%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Good%5FTidings%E2%80%A6) - - [But](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#But) - [Father and mother knows best](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Father%5Fand%5Fmother%5Fknows%5Fbest) - [Shopping](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Shopping) - [Keeping the schedule](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Keeping%5Fthe%5Fschedule) - [Gifts and Toys](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Gifts%5Fand%5FToys) - [Some Other Tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Some%5FOther%5FTips) - [Dont Miss the Season](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season-2/#Dont%5FMiss%5Fthe%5FSeason) *As part of our December holiday tradition, we are sharing an older post with lots of excellent advice on how to make the holidays a little bit merrier and brighter.* ### Good Tidings… The Christmas and New Years Holiday is magical and fun; a wonderful time of year that spreads warm feelings and cheer in families and communities throughout the world. The celebration is well deserved, and we all tend to look forward to this very special time of year. #### But... Yeah, there is a ‘but’ for many parents with kiddo’s struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and autism. In those homes, the hectic and often-times over-stimulating nature of this holiday season can bring about all sorts of behaviors, meltdowns, over-activity, and fixations. #### Father (and mother) knows best First, remember that you know your child best. Given the frequent changes in routine during the holiday season, you know whether your child fixates on the routine and if it’s best to not convey the daily schedule till the last minute, or if your child thrives on knowing the routine in advance and finds the information to be comforting. You also know whether it’s best to do all the decorations quickly, all at once, to get it over with; or if your child responds better to a slow and steady approach. #### Shopping You’ve also shopped enough with your child to know the best approach. The challenge during the Season is that these [shopping trips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/) are usually a bit longer, so it’s even more important to take breaks, have fun items to keep your kiddo’s busy, and work your way into each store maybe a bit slower than usual. Some kiddo’s respond well to headphones and darker tinted glasses. However, an added challenge is the necessity of masks, which some kids find intolerable. In that case, you’d likely have to avoid taking your child to the respective store unless you can convince your kiddo to wear a visor. Also, for younger children, some stores may forego the mask mandate. #### Keeping the schedule During the holidays, the daily routine that you’ve worked so hard to maintain usually becomes more unpredictable, but do your best to keep some semblance of routine and order. Social stories, written schedules, and visual schedules, and reminders can be very helpful. #### Gifts and Toys It can be helpful to wait until the last minute to arrange the gifts, given the temptation your child may face to open ahead of time. However, again, you know your child best and some find it very enticing and pleasant to see the presents, and would not dare open any until the designated time. Also, with that in mind, turn-taking to open presents can be coordinated by passing an ornament to whose turn it may be to open a present. Also, offering a quiet, out-of-the-way place for your kiddo to play with his new toys may also be helpful to avoid grabbing at other’s toys, becoming overly upset if somebody touches his toys, and causing disruption. #### Some Other Tips If your child has food sensitivities or is very finicky, you may want to bring some food along to Aunt Jennie’s house for the celebration. Also, before arriving, it may also help to show your kiddo pictures of who will be there, and what to expect every step of the way. Sometimes children respond better if they gradually mix-in with the crowd as opposed to all at once; and provide a ‘safe-haven’ if it becomes too overwhelming. You’re the best judge of how much your child can tolerate, so you’ll be keeping a watchful-eye, and intervening when necessary. Also, regarding the family, prepare them for what to expect from your kiddo and how they can help the situation rather than make it worse. ### Don't Miss the Season These were just a few tips to consider during this Christmas season. Most importantly; enjoy this time with your children, family, and friends. Relish these opportunities, no matter how chaotic or stressful they may become at times. In years ahead, you’ll look back and miss these days. Don’t miss them now. God bless you and your family during this blessed Christmas Season. ### How To Plan Successful Holiday Outings URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:13.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [7 Tips for Successful Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#7%5FTips%5Ffor%5FSuccessful%5FOutings) - - - [1 Start Small](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#1%5FStart%5FSmall) - [2 Agree on %E2%80%98Rules Before Leaving](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#2%5FAgree%5Fon%5F%E2%80%98Rules%5FBefore%5FLeaving) - [3 Make the Schedule Clear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#3%5FMake%5Fthe%5FSchedule%5FClear) - [4 Provide Simple Directions on How to Behave Well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#4%5FProvide%5FSimple%5FDirections%5Fon%5FHow%5Fto%5FBehave%5FWell) - [5 Get Your Child Involved](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#5%5FGet%5FYour%5FChild%5FInvolved) - [6 Steer Clear of Conflicts By Monitoring Your Kiddos %22Social Battery%22](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#6%5FSteer%5FClear%5Fof%5FConflicts%5FBy%5FMonitoring%5FYour%5FKiddos%5F%22Social%5FBattery%22) - [7 The Best-Laid Plans%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#7%5FThe%5FBest-Laid%5FPlans%E2%80%A6) - [Reducing Overstimulation on Your Trips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Reducing%5FOverstimulation%5Fon%5FYour%5FTrips) - - - [Watch Out for Problem Behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Watch%5FOut%5Ffor%5FProblem%5FBehaviors) - [Managing Successful Outings Behavioral Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Managing%5FSuccessful%5FOutings%5FBehavioral%5FApproaches) - - - [Distract and Redirect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Distract%5Fand%5FRedirect) - [Dealing with Others Judgements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Dealing%5Fwith%5FOthers%5FJudgements) - [Safety First on Holiday Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Safety%5FFirst%5Fon%5FHoliday%5FOutings) *This article is well-loved among parents; with timeless advice and tips that apply-year round. First appearing on *HelpForYourChild* in December of 2021, it has been updated for this year’s holiday season.* The holiday season often includes busy public outings with your child. Grocery runs, visiting family, shopping at the mall - These can be quite tricky and challenging! Children sometimes find the new environment, whether it be a store or a crowded holiday event, to be overstimulating. They try to carry out the outing ‘on their terms’ rather than on yours. However, if you make a plan in advance, there are some strategies to improve the situation and plan successful outings. ## 7 Tips for Successful Outings: #### 1\. Start Small: Just like anything else, behavior in public is a skill that is learned over time. Role-play at home (set up a mock store or restaurant). Start with short stints, then increase exposure. Quick daily outings (in and out, but longer over time) are better at first. For example a brief trip to a local deli, then to a restaurant… #### 2\. Agree on ‘Rules’ Before Leaving: Outline an explanation of where you are going, expectations for behavior, and the rewards/consequences if things go well, or not so well. Make sure your child understands what your expectations are. Expectations should be simple, achievable, and age-consistant. #### 3\. Make the Schedule Clear: What will happen during the trip, where you’ll be going, what they will do (park, walk, go to a particular store, ride in a cart, take a snack break, meet new people…) and how long it will take? Show photos ahead of time of where you’re going, if possible. Remind them of what part you are at during the excursion, and what comes next. A picture schedule can be very helpful. #### 4\. Provide Simple Directions on How to Behave Well: Holding an adult’s hand, staying close, etc. Frequently tell them how they’re doing and offer tons of praise and give little tokens for good behavior whenever you see good behavior, or every so often during the outing. They can trade in the tokens for desired items. #### 5\. Get Your Child Involved Ask questions! If shopping, your child can help find items – keep them occupied. You can even give them money to make purchases. Bring along their favorite toys, food, or familiar item. Have them help plan out the day with you when you put together the outing. Develop ‘Social Stories’ about public outings, and encourage your child’s involvement with that process. #### 6\. Steer Clear of Conflicts By Monitoring Your Kiddo's "Social Battery" We all have "Social Batteries" that can get run down if we get physically tired, hungry, or frustrated. Limit how often, length, and where you shop depending on your child’s tolerance level. Keep trips short, take breaks, and use a stroller. Make sure they are not tired or hungry (either of you). Be careful of your attitude and fatigue (keep upbeat and happy). Take along a wishlist: if he sees something he can’t have, add it to the wishlist. Share your child's enthusiasm for desired items. Try to avoid tempting places, or keep those places at small doses. #### 7\. The Best-Laid Plans… Sometimes, even with all the preparation, difficulties are unavoidable. It can feel frustrating, especially if the outings are somewhere with challenging distractions. Visit at off-hours (6 to 7 PM or early in the AM, or early in the week). Know the store/destination layout in advance (bathrooms, exit, food, water fountain, babysitting, fire extinguishers (that was a joke)…). If possible, have another adult with you, especially if taking multiple kiddos. In certain situations, you can ask a psychologist to prescribe accommodations at a holiday event or similar destination. ## Reducing Overstimulation on Your Trips Many children find busy stores to be exciting, if not overstimulating. And neurodivergent children can struggle even more so. Here are some things to think about if your child tends to get overwhelmed in some environments: - Some places are simply too stimulating for some children (the Mall in December…) - Physical overstimulation of crowds: brushing and compression. Avoid long lines, large crowds, and noisy environments - Take breaks or do shorter stints - Noise-Reducing headphones may help - Redirect to details (refocusing on specific items or areas of the store helps to squelch a child feeling overwhelmed by the surroundings) - Deep breaths; count to ten - Don’t push the limits. At times it’s best to simply not take your child #### Watch Out for Problem Behaviors Problem behaviors can be a form of communication. Note the triggers, problem areas, and anything that makes it predictable. If you can predict it, you can prevent it! Some issues to look out for are boredom, overstimulation, hunger, and fatigue (it’s tough for those little legs to keep up). ## Managing Successful Outings: Behavioral Approaches Behavior management is the key; remain consistent and remember that what works at home, will often work in public as well. Try to be consistent with behavior management in all settings (between home, school, and community). Reinforce good behavior (you get what you praise, and be specific in that praise). When misbehavior occurs, intervene and make eye contact as soon as it happens, and then redirect to replacement behavior. Use time-outs in the store, or take a break outside. Avoid losing your cool. A time-out does not need to be a “punishment” but, rather a quiet moment outside the store to calm down. #### Distract and Redirect Here are some tricks to effectively redirect your child to what you want him/her to do, rather than what you don’t want: - Tell them what to do, not what not to do - 1-2-3 Magic - Have a plan ahead of time, and always have a Plan B! - Remove your child to a private place to discipline - Give choices (stand beside me or stop at the end of the aisle) - Get eye contact before giving a direction - Make a game of shopping (What item is in the yellow box?; I spy) Stores are like oversized classrooms that just happen to sell things. Make a trip a learning opportunity. This strategy also helps to keep the child busy and keeps their attention. Here are some ways to use that learning enthusiasm as a way to engage your child: 1. Count the number of items you need 2. Find the items based on color or size 3. Make a list at home, and have the child help find the items 4. Name everything in the cart, how they can be used, where they came from 5. Use all senses; notice smells, texture, and differences in color 6. Older children can help with checkout, request paper or plastic, give coupons… ## Dealing with Other’s Judgements Sometimes, when you are in a public place with your child, people find it necessary to put in their ‘two cents’; especially if your child has a learning or behavioral difficulty. Here are some ways to deal with that frustration: - Autism Awareness Cards (explains [**autism**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/category/autism/)and how to be supportive) - “My child is autistic, what’s your problem?” - T-shirt: *I have autism; be nice to my Mom* - Find some merit in their complaint (child making noise in a restaurant…) - Keep it in perspective (all kids freak out sometimes in stores; it’s kinda funny sometimes) - Simply ignore them ## Safety First on Holiday Outings It’s important to stay safe while having fun excursions together. It’s important to remember snacks and warm clothing, but what else? You should never leave your child alone unsupervised in a car. Keep your child close (hold hands, or steer the cart, or hang onto the cart). You might consider a name tag if your child has trouble communicating, and practice a plan in case you get separated. Some parents have had success using a harness and tethering device (“leash”) that can be used in more extreme situations where safety is an issue. However, it is important to ‘phase’ out the leash for increasing periods while using high levels of positive reinforcement. If possible, it might be beneficial to have a Service K-9 for a child who needs that additional support. I hope these tips prove to be helpful and keep your outings merry this holiday season. If you would like to schedule an appointment or would like to know more about all our services, please visit [**http://cpcwecare.com/**](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Happy Holidays! ### Thanksgiving Day Special: How to Raise Thankful Kids URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:55.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [Thanksgiving is Extra Special](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#Thanksgiving%5Fis%5FExtra%5FSpecial) - [How Do We Help Kids Practice Being Thankful Year-round](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FHelp%5FKids%5FPractice%5FBeing%5FThankful%5FYear-round) - - [An All Too Common Problem%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#An%5FAll%5FToo%5FCommon%5FProblem%E2%80%A6) - [The Ironic Twist](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#The%5FIronic%5FTwist) - - - [What is The Effect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#What%5Fis%5FThe%5FEffect) - [How Do We Promote Gratitude and Help Them Practice Being Thankful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FPromote%5FGratitude%5Fand%5FHelp%5FThem%5FPractice%5FBeing%5FThankful) - - - - [1 Go easy on the giving](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#1%5FGo%5Feasy%5Fon%5Fthe%5Fgiving) - [2 Have kids work for what they want](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#2%5FHave%5Fkids%5Fwork%5Ffor%5Fwhat%5Fthey%5Fwant) - [3 Show them what its like for those less fortunate](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#3%5FShow%5Fthem%5Fwhat%5Fits%5Flike%5Ffor%5Fthose%5Fless%5Ffortunate) - [4 Practice thankfulness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#4%5FPractice%5Fthankfulness) - [5 Seek out gratitude-building church messages](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#5%5FSeek%5Fout%5Fgratitude-building%5Fchurch%5Fmessages) - [Its Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Being Thankful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/thanksgiving-day-special-how-to-raise-thankful-kids-2/#Its%5FNot%5FToo%5FLate%5Fto%5FTeach%5FYour%5FKids%5FAbout%5FBeing%5FThankful) #### **Thanksgiving is Extra Special** Many people find Thanksgiving to be one of their favorite holidays. It’s simple, no gifts to buy, no fuss. It’s just family and friends coming together with a recognition that we have a lot to be thankful for. ## How **Do We Help Kids Practice Being Thankful Year-round?** I imagine many of us try to keep that sentiment of thankfulness at the forefront of our minds and would prefer our kids do as well. However, do we find that, at times, our kids don’t seem so thankful? They have less than a strong sense of gratitude. Ironically, the more you do for your kids, the less thankful they may seem. ### **An All Too Common Problem…** It’s sort of a trap. We love our kids so much and want them to be happy and content. At the same time, we live in the most prosperous and affluent country in the history of the world, so we have ample opportunity to give our kids lots of stuff. So what transpires? As we give them more, we find that they tend to expect more. There comes a sense of entitlement and more expectation as opposed to a gracious and genuine “thank you!!” ## **The Ironic Twist** Yes, it’s true, and clearly evidenced in our daily lives. The more someone gets, often the less gracious they become. Moreover, the lower the expectations to be able to obtain items (don’t have to work for it), the higher a child’s sense of entitlement. #### **What is The Effect?** People who feel entitled and come to expect things without a strong sense of gratitude are typically unhappy people. In that respect, gratitude is a barometer for happiness. The more gratitude a person feels in life, the happier they are going to be. It’s hard to be happy when you ‘expect’ more, and aren’t happy with what you already have. ## **How Do We Promote Gratitude and Help Them Practice Being Thankful?** Here are some ideas: ##### 1\. *Go easy on the giving.* In that respect, we don’t give a child everything for which they ask. Remember the old adage: “give a child everything they need, but very little of what they want.” (who said that?) ##### 2\. *Have kids work for what they want*. This can be through an allowance, and they can save their money. It's worth considering that there are two different sets of chores in any home; those chores that are done because we all live together and have to pitch in to run the household, such as cleaning one’s room, emptying the garbage, running the sweeper… and those chores that may be considered ‘above and beyond’ for which an allowance will be considered: such as raking leaves, pulling weeds, shoveling snow, washing the car, cleaning windows… for younger kids, the list of chores for which an allowance will be allotted may be a bit longer, but as a child gets older, that list will get smaller so it will be harder to earn an allowance. ##### 3\. *Show them what it’s like for those less fortunate*. Local churches have myriad opportunities for this type of service, and in that respect, we can sign up our kids (and we go along) to volunteer at a shelter (with direct parent oversight), at the Goodwill, or go on a mission’s trip. This offers an opportunity to give back, see how good they have it, and see firsthand how others are living. ##### 4\. *Practice thankfulness.* We make sure that, weekly, they write down all the things for which they are grateful. Also, it is good to get them in the habit of writing well-thought-out and gracious thank you cards for any gift they receive. ##### 5\. *Seek out gratitude-building church messages.* Get your kiddo to church, synagogue, or temple (wherever you worship). at least once if not twice a week. Most churches have a kid’s program that also meets Wednesday evenings). If a church is doing its job, the preacher(s) are teaching about gratitude, thankfulness, self-sacrifice, the 10th Commandment (okay, I’ll give you a hint – that one about not-coveting and, rather, being happy with what God's given you), love, patience, humility, being meek, and caring for others. Can you think of better messages for our children? ## **It’s Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Being Thankful!** Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. It’s too late. That’s water under the bridge – your child is already an over-indulged tyrant who is running the household. Well, even in that seemingly dire situation, it’s not too late. You may need to take it a bit slower, but you can do it!! Follow the pointers above and, slowly but surely, things will begin to change. Your child will not be happy as you begin this process, they will fuss and try to wear you down. If you need help and guidance along the way, and maybe some moral support, that’s what I’m here for (and your local church with help from the Children’s Pastor). If you want to make a change in the direction of enhancing gratitude, you have to start sometime. How about today? Here is wishing you and yours a relaxing and delightful Thanksgiving Holiday with your family and friends, and with your ever-increasingly grateful children. 😊 God bless you. ### The Formula for Clear and Effective Treatment Plans: Using Baselines and Objectives URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:12.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Where It All Starts%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Where%5FIt%5FAll%5FStarts%E2%80%A6) - [What To Be Looking For To Create An Effective Treatment Plan](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#What%5FTo%5FBe%5FLooking%5FFor%5FTo%5FCreate%5FAn%5FEffective%5FTreatment%5FPlan) - - - [Goals vs Objectives](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Goals%5Fvs%5FObjectives) - [So whats the Formula](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#So%5Fwhats%5Fthe%5FFormula) - - - [Step 1 Target the Issues](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Step%5F1%5FTarget%5Fthe%5FIssues) - [Step 2 Determining Vague vs Measurable Behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Step%5F2%5FDetermining%5FVague%5Fvs%5FMeasurable%5FBehaviors) - [Step 3 Quantifying Behavior](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Step%5F3%5FQuantifying%5FBehavior) - [Frequency](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Frequency) - [Rate](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Rate) - [Duration](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Duration) - [Intensity](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Intensity) - [Latency](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Latency) - [Step 4 Establishing a Baseline](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Step%5F4%5FEstablishing%5Fa%5FBaseline) - - - - [Baseline Examples when a child is oppositional](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Baseline%5FExamples%5Fwhen%5Fa%5Fchild%5Fis%5Foppositional) - [Baseline examples when a child has lots of emotions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Baseline%5Fexamples%5Fwhen%5Fa%5Fchild%5Fhas%5Flots%5Fof%5Femotions) - [Examples of baselines for a child struggling with distractibility](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Examples%5Fof%5Fbaselines%5Ffor%5Fa%5Fchild%5Fstruggling%5Fwith%5Fdistractibility) - [Step 5 Creating Objectives for Effective Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Step%5F5%5FCreating%5FObjectives%5Ffor%5FEffective%5FTreatment) - - - - - [Examples of baseline and the subsequent objectives targeting compliance or following directions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Examples%5Fof%5Fbaseline%5Fand%5Fthe%5Fsubsequent%5Fobjectives%5Ftargeting%5Fcompliance%5For%5Ffollowing%5Fdirections) - [Example of baseline and subsequent objective targeting emotions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Example%5Fof%5Fbaseline%5Fand%5Fsubsequent%5Fobjective%5Ftargeting%5Femotions) - [Examples of baseline and subsequent objective targeting attention to task assessing on-task behavior or using permanent product](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#Examples%5Fof%5Fbaseline%5Fand%5Fsubsequent%5Fobjective%5Ftargeting%5Fattention%5Fto%5Ftask%5Fassessing%5Fon-task%5Fbehavior%5For%5Fusing%5Fpermanent%5Fproduct) - [A few more examples of baselines and short-term objectives sometimes there are shorter-term goals that can build off of known baselines](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#A%5Ffew%5Fmore%5Fexamples%5Fof%5Fbaselines%5Fand%5Fshort-term%5Fobjectives%5Fsometimes%5Fthere%5Fare%5Fshorter-term%5Fgoals%5Fthat%5Fcan%5Fbuild%5Foff%5Fof%5Fknown%5Fbaselines) - [The Key to Effective Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-clear-and-effective-treatment-plans-using-baselines-and-objectives/#The%5FKey%5Fto%5FEffective%5FTreatment) ## Where It All Starts… Your child’s treatment plan is the foundation of moving things in the right direction and seeing progress in your child’s behavior. It’s vital that you’re a large part of this process (of preparing the plan), in identifying the primary concerns that need to be targeted and to ensure that the goals are clear, concise, and achievable. In that respect, this post will target the creation of clear baselines, and writing achievable objectives. ## What To Be Looking For To Create An Effective Treatment Plan: You want there to be a clear indication of the problem behavior, how the problem behavior is manifesting (the baseline), and an objective that will show progress by the end of the treatment period (usually 3-6 months). The ‘treatment period’ is simply a period of time to assess progress, it does not refer to discharge. There can be many ‘treatment periods’ before discharge occurs. #### **Goals vs Objectives** These terms are often used interchangeably, but the goal is often broader and vague, while the objective is very specific. ## **So, what’s the Formula?** There are 5 steps to this formula – will review them now. #### Step 1: Target the Issue(s): What are the typical issues that cause difficulties in the home? Almost invariably, they include a child having problems with: - Emotion - Aggression or being oppositional - Defiance - Off-Task - Social Deficits #### Step 2: Determining Vague vs Measurable Behaviors Your child’s therapist will operationally define the ‘issue’ into measurable and observable ‘behaviors’. Once you know the issue(s), the next step is to transform the issue into an identifiable and concise behavior as clearly and specifically as possible - in *measurable and observable* terms, which means you can actually observe the behavior, and measure it. In that regard, “emotional”, which is far too vague, is operationalized into specific ‘behaviors’ that can directly be observed and measured, so we can assess over time and see if there is progress. So, here are some examples of vague vs specific: **Vague Terms:** Emotional Aggressive [Defiant/oppositional](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/) Off-task **Specific Terms (Observable and Measurable):** yells and screams/whines/cries/runs off hits mother on the arm/throws things/gestures… yells ‘no’/ignores/says will do it, but does not Time-sampling or permanent product/task completion: - Off-task 3/5 minutes- three, 5-minute time-samplings - Fails to complete 3/8 classroom assignments per day - Fails to complete 5/8 assignments on time. Social avoids social interactions / “socially awkward” is too vague, instead – stands too close, monopolizes… #### Step 3: Quantifying Behavior: Once the measurable and observable behavior is identified, the next step is to *quantify* the extent of the behavior so the behavior will be seen in ‘measurable’ terms. For example**:** #### **Frequency:** - how many times per day, or per week (e.g. 3x per day) - How many times per opportunity or # of prompts (3/5) #### **Rate :** - how often within any given occurrence (hits 5x per occurrence, or works at a particular rate to accomplish a chore) #### **Duration**: - how long the behavior persists per-episode #### **Intensity**: - degree of force (aggression – leaves a bruise, red mark…) #### **Latency**: - The time between prompt and task initiation ### Step 4: Establishing a Baseline: Your child’s therapist will then create the ‘Baseline’ by combining the specific problematic behavior with the measurable term. The Baseline is the extent to which the behavior is seen *before* treatment begins. A baseline can be written in lots of different ways, whether how many times the behavior is seen, or how often seen in a number of opportunities… ###### ***Baseline Examples when a child is oppositional*:** - Michael yells and resists when directed to task 50% of the time. - When directed to task, Michael yells ‘NO’ 5x per day, (or 3 of 6 occurrences). - When directed to task, Michael yells ‘no’ and screams, at an ear-piercing level, 5x per day. - When given a direction, Michael says ‘NO’ and refuses to comply 4x per day (before the 5th prompt/or 4 of 5 opportunities). - When given a direction, Michael ignores and does not comply 70% of the time (or 7 of 10 occasions). - When given a direction, Michael waits an average of 15 minutes before beginning the task. - When given a direction, Michael needs 5-6 prompts to comply, at least 60% of the time (6/10 opportunities). ###### ***Baseline examples when a child has lots of emotions:*** - Michael has yelling episodes 3x per day - persists for 20 minutes each time. - Michael yells for at least 10 minutes, 3x per day. - Micheal screams, in an ear-piercing manner, for 15 minutes, 3x per day. ###### ***Examples of baselines for a child struggling with distractibility:*** - The therapist will target on-task behavior, or what’s referred to as “permanent product” or the outcome of the assignment (completing a worksheet, or completing the chore). - Mary completes 1/5 assignments per day. - Mary needs 5 prompts every 10 minutes to complete a task. - Mary needs 10-15 prompts to get through the morning routine. - Mary is off-task 50% of the time during time-sampling (a time-sampling is when a therapist measures, for example, whether the child was on-task when observed every minute for 10 minutes, for a one-hour period of time, 3x per day). Is the baseline truly measurable and observable? We use the two-person test: would two people agree on what the behavior looks like? ## Step 5: Creating Objectives for Effective Treatment: Next, we create the objectives (based on the baseline). You and your child’s therapist decide what is realistic to be achieved by the end of the treatment period, and use the same behavior and measure as what was used in the Baseline. ###### **Examples of baseline and the subsequent objectives targeting compliance or* f*ollowing directions:** **Baseline**: Michael yells and resists, for upwards of 10 minutes, when directed to a task 50% of the time. - **Objective**: Michael will comply with directives, with only mild sulking (defined) that will persist for no more than 5 minutes, 60% of the time, and will comply otherwise. - **Objective option 2:** Micheal will comply with the second prompt and remain calm (define calm). **Baseline**: When directed to his chore, Michael yells ‘no’ 5x per day, (4/5 occurrences). - **Objective**: When given a direction, Michael will remain calm, and comply 3/5 occurrences per day. - **Objective Option 2:** Michael will complete his chores (define) by 5:00 PM daily, 4/5 days per week. **Baseline**: When directed to task, Michael yells ‘no’ and screams, at an ear-piercing level, 5x per day. - **Objective**: When given a direction, Michael will demonstrate no more than minor sulking (define) 2x per day and will comply otherwise. **Baseline:** When given a direction, Michael says ‘no’ and refuses to comply 4x per day (needs 6-8 prompts). - **Objective**: Micheal will comply by the 3rd prompt no less than 3x per day. **Baseline**: When given a direction, Michael ignores and does not comply 70% of the time (7/10 times). - **Objective**: Michael will respond and comply with directions 60% of the time. **Baseline**: When given a direction, Michael needs 5-6 prompts to comply, at least 60% of the time. - **Objective**: Michael will comply before 3rd prompt 50% of the time. ###### ***Example of baseline and subsequent objective targeting emotions:*** **Baseline**: Michael has yelling episodes (define yell) 3x per day - persisting for 20 minutes each. - **Objective**: Michael will exhibit yelling episodes no more that 1x per day, for 5 minutes per episode. **Baseline**: Michael yells at a severe level (define “severe yell”) for at least 10 minutes, 3x per day - **Objective**: Michel will exhibit a mild level of emotion (define) no more than 3x per day, for 5-minute episodes. **Baseline**: Micheal screams, in an ear-piercing manner, for 15 minutes, 3x per day. - **Objective:** Michel will exhibit mild emotional episodes (define), 1x per day, for 10 minutes per episode. ###### ***Examples of baseline and subsequent objective targeting attention to task: (assessing on-task behavior, or using permanent product).*** **Baseline**: Mary completes 1/5 assignments per day (this is using permanent product). - **Objective**: Mary will complete 4/5 assignments per day **Baseline**: Mary needs 5 prompts every 10 minutes to complete a (specific) task (tough to monitor). - **Objective:** Mary will complete a task with less than 4 prompts. **Baseline**: Mary needs 10-15 prompts to complete the morning routine (define morning routine). - **Objective**: Mary will complete the morning routine with less than 6 prompts. **Baseline**: Mary is off-task 50% of the time during time-samplings (define time-samplings - how, where, when). - **Objective**: Mary will be on-task 75% of the time during time-samplings. ###### ***A few more examples of baselines and short-term objectives*: *sometimes there are shorter-term goals that can build off of known baselines:*** **Objective Goal:** Mary will comply with parental directives within 2 prompts in at least 4 out of 5 presented opportunities. - **Known Baseline:** She is able to comply with parental objectives in 3/5 instances with 3-5 verbal prompts. **Objective Goal:** Mary will improve self-control as evidenced by no aggressive, destructive, or self-injurious acts at least 5 out of 7 days a week. - **Known Baseline**: She engages in aggressive and destructive acts 4 days per week. **Objective Goal:** Sally reduced controlling behaviors (telling others what to do or being bossy, attempting to negotiate, etc.) to 2 out of 5 times by the end of the treatment period. - **Known Baseline**: She becomes controlling during interactions in 4/5 instances **Objective Goal:** Johnny will decrease physical aggression to once per week or less by the end of the treatment period. - **Known Baseline**: He becomes aggressive with his mother and siblings 3 days per week **Objective Goal:** Neal will learn and use appropriate coping/anger management skills (taking deep breaths, hitting a pillow, counting to 10, etc) when upset in 3 out of 5 instances by the end of the treatment period. - **Known Baseline:** He uses coping skills independently 1/5 instances **Objective** **Goal**: Nelson will improve problem-solving skills as evidenced by using his words and refraining from acting with violence in 3 out of 5 situations by the end of the treatment period. - **Known Baseline**: He is unable to use problem-solving skills at this time (0/5 instances) ## The Key to Effective Treatment: The key to effective treatment plans is a careful process - and one that involves observations by both the family and the therapist. So there you have it; this general overview of how we prepare measurable and observable baselines and objectives so that the treatment process is more targeted and ultimately it’s easier to assess progress over time. Hope you found that helpful. Feel free to reach out with any questions at [***DrCarosso@aol.com***](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). God bless you and your family. ### Seven Tips For Making A Sticker Chart Work URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sticker-chart-tips-for-parents-and-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:28.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Tips For Success With a Sticker Chart](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sticker-chart-tips-for-parents-and-kids/#Tips%5FFor%5FSuccess%5FWith%5Fa%5FSticker%5FChart) - [What About Older Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sticker-chart-tips-for-parents-and-kids/#What%5FAbout%5FOlder%5FKids) - [In Summary%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sticker-chart-tips-for-parents-and-kids/#In%5FSummary%E2%80%A6) Sticker charts can be an invaluable resource. Kids love to get stickers, which are inexpensive, highly motivating, and can be used numerous times throughout the day or week. From my professional and personal experience, I have seen first-hand how kid’s eyes light up when they earn stickers (with an opportunity to cash in for some later reward). However, sticker charts have their drawbacks. They can be cumbersome - parents rarely stick with them beyond a few weeks. It can be tough to figure out how many stickers to give before a reward is provided. And you may wonder, how often should stickers be earned and allocated in the first place? All good questions! Here are some answers and guidelines to a successful sticker or reward chart: ## Tips For Success With a Sticker Chart: 1. Before setting up a sticker chart, count how many times the problematic behavior is occurring per day (for example, hitting their brother). The child would then earn a sticker once every three hours if he has not hit his brother. 2. Stickers are ‘cashed in’ or redeemed for a larger or more desired reward. 3. Establish an ‘economy’ whereby the child has to earn at least 70% of all possible stickers to earn the ‘top prize’. However, they may earn lesser-valued items for some success. 4. Remember: the rewards do not have to be items or toys! They can be a favorite food or special treat, an episode of their favorite show, or doing a favorite activity with them, like going to the park or playing a game. 5. Keep charts simple! Track no more than two or three targeted behaviors. 6. One of the targeted behaviors should be very easy to follow, and easier to earn a sticker completing. 7. Children younger than five years need stickers allocated at least two or three times per day, sometimes every hour in the beginning. At that age, stickers need to be cashed in at least once per day for a reward. Thereafter, rewards can be cashed in twice a week, moving toward once per week over time. The shorter intervals help keep up the younger child’s dedication to following the chart. ## What About Older Kids? Children older than 12 tend to prefer ‘point charts’ (child earns points, rather than stickers) that are added to determine if the reward is earned). Variations abound and include marbles being placed in a jar when chores are complete; if a child earns all seven jars in a week, then a weekly reward is given. Or, a marble in the jar determines if their favorite show can be viewed that evening. Point charts are highly effective and motivating. Give them a try! Don’t worry if you only stick with it for a few weeks. In fact, you can tell your child that this “contract” (i.e. the sticker chart) is for only a few weeks until a desired reward is earned. Then you can feel free to take a break for a week or two and regroup. Also, don’t forget to get [***softer and closer***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/) with your child ## In Summary…. Sticker Charts can be a very helpful tool in raising children. All you need is to follow the tips above, and of course, stickers! Here is a link to a [***basic sticker pack***](https://www.target.com/p/bright-creations-2730-teacher-stickers-small-reward-chart-stars-stickers-for-kids-students-91-x-30-sheets/-/A-84062467?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com#lnk=sametab)***,*** but all you really need is a piece of paper to draw a chart, and stickers of any kind. God bless you and your little ones this fall. If you do try out a reward or sticker chart with your kiddos, feel free to leave a comment. ### Getting Back In The Swing Of The School Routine URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:54.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Summer Break Is Almost Over](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#Summer%5FBreak%5FIs%5FAlmost%5FOver) - [Summer vs School Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#Summer%5Fvs%5FSchool%5FRoutine) - - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - [9 Above all use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#9%5FAbove%5Fall%5Fuse%5Fpicture%5Fschedules%5Fand%5Fsocial%5Fstories%5Fto%5Fprepare%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Ffirst%5Fday) - [School Routine Success Building The Mindset](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#School%5FRoutine%5FSuccess%5FBuilding%5FThe%5FMindset) - [God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-in-the-swing-of-the-back-to-school-routine/#God%5Fbless%5Fand%5Fenjoy%5Fthe%5Frest%5Fof%5Fthe%5Fsummer) ## Summer Break Is Almost Over August is that ‘back to school’ time of year. Yes, it is sad to see the summer slipping by; but it’s time to start thinking about getting back into the school routine. It can be a difficult transition for children to get back into that schedule, with some kids dreading the end of summer. Here are some tips I've shared over the years for ways to ease the stress and get back into the swing of the school year. ## Summer vs. School Routine Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? Sometimes gently transitioning into that schedule can help. If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture shock for your child and not too pleasant for you either. Below are some tips that are especially helpful for parents of children with [*autism*](https://autismcenterofpgh.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)but can apply to all kiddos. ### What To Do: 1\. First, begin slowly adjusting routines for an earlier bedtime. 2\. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3\. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. This is especially important if your kiddo has any [*anxiety issues*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/). 4\. Arrange playdates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5\. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6\. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file folders…). Integrate material color with a picture schedule. 7\. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. Therefore, they can be a 'familiar' aspect of the school routine. 8\. In Addition, pick out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). ### 9\. Above all, use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10\. Prepare the school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. Moreover, you can prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 11\. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 12\. It may be helpful to write an "all about me" card for the teacher. This is a simple and fun way to let the classroom teacher know about your child. For example, such a card can communicate fun tidbits about your child, their interests, and preferences. Any special needs would be more formally presented during a meeting with the teacher and documented in an IEP or 504 plan. ## School Routine Success: Building The Mindset: It may seem daunting, but getting your child back into the class mindset, and settled back into that school schedule can be be done with less stress! Just remember to lat the groundwork with careful planning and help your child build excitement instead of nervousness for their new year. ## **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer**! ### Managing Transitions Between Activities URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:39.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [The Challenge Of Getting Your Child To Move Between Activities And Tasks](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#The%5FChallenge%5FOf%5FGetting%5FYour%5FChild%5FTo%5FMove%5FBetween%5FActivities%5FAnd%5FTasks) - [Why Are These Transitions A Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Why%5FAre%5FThese%5FTransitions%5FA%5FProblem) - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - - [Phase 1 Activity Transition Preparation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Phase%5F1%5FActivity%5FTransition%5FPreparation) - [Phase 2 The Move](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Phase%5F2%5FThe%5FMove) - - - [Enlist Their Help](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Enlist%5FTheir%5FHelp) - [Phase 3 After The Activity Transition](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Phase%5F3%5FAfter%5FThe%5FActivity%5FTransition) - [Helping Older Children And Teens With Activity Transitions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Helping%5FOlder%5FChildren%5FAnd%5FTeens%5FWith%5FActivity%5FTransitions) - [Encourage Being Helpful To Each Other](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Encourage%5FBeing%5FHelpful%5FTo%5FEach%5FOther) - [Transitioning Away From Electronics](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Transitioning%5FAway%5FFrom%5FElectronics) - [WhenThen The Traditional Way To Enforce Activity Transitions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#WhenThen%5FThe%5FTraditional%5FWay%5FTo%5FEnforce%5FActivity%5FTransitions) - [Hope That Helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-activity-transitions/#Hope%5FThat%5FHelps) ### **The Challenge Of Getting Your Child To Move Between Activities And Tasks** Interestingly, transitions can be a challenging prospect. For neurotypical and atypical/diverse kiddos alike, transitioning from favored to disliked tasks, or even from *any* given activity to another, can be daunting and met with resistance, emotion, defiance, and tantrums. In fact, difficulty with activity transitions is a top-three complaint from parents regarding their kiddo’s. ## **Why Are These Transitions A Problem?** Well, there are likely a number of reasons. Really, who wants to transition from a fun and enjoyable task (playing with toys, watching TV, drawing, playing with technology) to emptying the garbage, doing homework, or having to sit quietly and attentively for dinner? The same is true for adults. How much do we want to stop reading our favorite book to do the laundry or cut the grass? And how much do we appreciate pestering and cajoling to do so? However, what about moving from one fun task to another equally fun activity? For example: moving between activities or transitioning to circle time in a preschool or Kindergarten. There could be any number of issues to consider in that case. Included in this, children with autism having a strong need for ‘sameness.’ Moving to a different activity is ‘change’ and perceived as unsettling. They often feel the need to fully complete a task before moving to another. ## **What To Do?** Let’s review some options. We often focus only on the first phase of any transition, which is a good start, but insufficient. So, in this post we’ll take a look at all three phases, and the differences between younger and older children. **Targeting the *three phases* of activity transitions:** - **Phase 1**: Preparing to move from one activity to another. - **Phase 2**: Moving from the first activity to the other. - **Phase 3**: After the transition. ### **Phase 1: Activity Transition Preparation** This is the most-often discussed phase. Most of us are pretty aware of how to prepare and prompt a child to make activity transitions. We may give verbal warnings; 5 minutes, 3 minutes, and one-minute out. Or even the more helpful visual timer so the child ‘see’ the time elapse. A child-friendly song or bell that emits when time elapses can help too. Move closer as the time draws closer, so the verbal warnings can be a whisper in their ear as you get [**‘*softer and closer’*.**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/) Even better is a written or visual schedule. This way the child can ‘see’ the next activity that features the child smiling and having fun in the next project. We keep very consistent routines so the next activity is expected and anticipated. ## **Phase 2: The Move** Now it’s time to make the move; what to do? There are any number of options. It may be helpful to use a visual cue such as flickering the lights on-and-off, or an auditory cue like singing[***the clean-up song***](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFE0mMWbA-Y&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). A fun song can play as a further auditory cue (with a brief time of dancing before clean-up and transitioning to the next task). You can ‘prime’ for the next activity by giving the child a fun/enticing item for the next project (while still cleaning up) to reinforce the move. For example, if the next activity is finger painting, you may show the child the colorful paints that are going to be used, or completed paintings from others. You can even have a child from the finger-painting walk with the child while explaining how much fun it is. #### Enlist Their Help Children also like to help, so have them carry some items that will be needed to complete the next activity. Interestingly, kids seem to like the challenge of carrying heavier or larger objects, so try to incorporate something that is a challenge. We can also make the transition more activity-based. As we move from one activity to another, we see how many times they can bounce a ball on the way to the next activity, or do a hula-hoop, skip, or jump on one leg… anything to make it fun. If the task is very disliked (homework), you can prime by giving an example of the homework while still ending the prior task. The example homework would show a subject of interest and strength, and the child would be reminded he’ll get a break of 10 minutes to do a favorite activity. If the homework is about sharks, the child can be given a toy shark on the way to the homework table. Children can also be reminded of the importance of earning stickers and what can be purchased with the stickers upon completion of the task. ### **Phase 3: After The Activity Transition** Phase 3 depends on the activity. If it is potentially equally favored (moving to dinner) then include a favored meal item and have it front-and-center on the table or plate (back to Phase 2: give your child a picture of the favored meal). If it’s favored to disliked, then that’s a bit more of a challenge. The same steps can be used for Phases 1 and 2, and once the child has encountered the disliked task, make it pleasant as possible. Use your imagination: if it’s homework, break it down into smaller segments and start with the easiest and more fun assignment. If it’s a chore, remind your child of the sticker chart and make it a game; set a timer to see how fast they can get it done compared to you or a sibling. If it’s a series of tasks (getting off to school in the morning) keep it fast-paced, stay close, give lots of kudos, and most importantly remove all distractions. You may need to deal with a sibling so you can’t always remain in close proximity. In this case, use a recorder (or Alexa) to verbally prompt the child every 30 seconds (“Hi Joey, finish getting dressed…”). A recorder can also be used to provide verbal reinforcement every few minutes (“Joey, keep working on your homework…”). ### **Helping Older Children And Teens With Activity Transitions** Some of the above suggestions regarding Phases 1-3 can also pertain to some older children and teens. However, with teens, we tend to rely more on reasoning and negotiating, and natural consequences. In that respect, in this sense, with teens, we’re getting away from dealing directly with ‘transitions’ and simply targeting task completion. In that respect, a sit-down with the teen, discuss the task(s) that need to be done, negotiate an agreement regarding how and when tasks will be completed, and the natural consequences when they don’t get done. What’s a natural consequence? Any outcome that is a natural outcome of the child’s behavior. For example, speeding results in a ticket, not doing homework results in failing grades (having to repeat), not bringing laundry downstairs results in having no clean clothes… Or, more generally, if the youth does not help out around the house, then you remove your services from them. ### Encourage Being Helpful To Each Other Parents often don’t realize how much their teens depend on them, for everything. If your teen is not holding up their end, they can do their own laundry, prepare their own meals (and of course, you’re not going to purchase their favored food and snack items), and find their own transportation, of course they won’t have a phone or video games because how will they pay for them? And you have to buy them clothes, but it’s up to you where you buy them from (Nordstrom or Goodwill?). Your child asks you for something… “So, you want me to drive you to your friend’s house, hmmm, I recall how you responded this morning when I asked you to make your bed…”). May sound tough-love-ish, but those are natural consequences. Their participation in your expectations is a way to help prepare them for adulthood. It’s vital that your reaction is without any emotion, no pestering, and matter-of-fact. This approach can be used for neuro-diverse teens who are more challenged, as with Level 2 autism, but the ‘natural consequences’ may be more child-oriented and more ‘when/then’ in nature (see below). ### **Transitioning Away From Electronics** Moving from an electronic activity can be difficult at any age. Especially so for older children and teens who become emotional, throw tantrums, or even be combative when told to stop screen time. In these instances, the following is advised and can be used for a child of any age: - Keep a consistent and clearly defined schedule and routine that includes the ‘windows of opportunity’ when video games are permitted. - Utilize a reward system for handling the structure and routine with compliance. - Rather than verbally prompting or physically intervening to remove the video games (playing tug-of-war with the controller), instead consider the many devices that can directly connect to the router and give you complete control of all devices in the home through your smartphone. Using such devices, that are only a Google search away, you can use your phone to control any given device being used in your home and schedule start-stop times so the device automatically stops without you needing to directly intervene. You’ll need to take different measures with your child’s smartphone given he or she can use ‘data’ to bypass WIFI. Most smartphones *also* have parental controls that can be set up ahead of time. This puts you in a more neutral position for electronic activity transitions. ### **When/Then: The Traditional Way To Enforce Activity Transitions** A tried-and-true method of compelling compliance to transitioning is the ‘when/then’ approach. This entails calmly and nonchalantly expressing that upon transitioning, **‘when’** a task is done, **‘then’** the child can have access to a given favored activity/item. In this scenario, the time frame may not necessarily be important or enforced. Rather, it's simply a matter of getting a particular task completed before access to another favored activity is granted. I.e: "you have to empty the garbage before you can go be with your friends"… Or, “**When** you complete your homework, **then** you can play video games”. ### **Hope That Helps**! Activity transitions can be difficult and sometimes there is simply no way around the resistance and outburst. You simply compel the issue, ignore it, and carry on. However, the aforementioned tips can possibly remedy the issue, or at least make it less averse and problematic. Feel free to check out more tips at [***HelpForYourChild.com***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/)***,*** where you can also make an appointment. Or, reach out at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) with any questions. God bless. ### Mission: Fatherhood! A Father's Day Letter For Dad URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:49.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [First lets hear it for Moms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#First%5Flets%5Fhear%5Fit%5Ffor%5FMoms) - - [The Purpose of This Post A Shout-out For Dad](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#The%5FPurpose%5Fof%5FThis%5FPost%5FA%5FShout-out%5FFor%5FDad) - [Dear Dads](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#Dear%5FDads) - - [What if You Are a Dad Who Dont Live in The Same Home as Your Child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#What%5Fif%5FYou%5FAre%5Fa%5FDad%5FWho%5FDont%5FLive%5Fin%5FThe%5FSame%5FHome%5Fas%5FYour%5FChild) - [The Role of A Dad In A Daughters Life](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#The%5FRole%5Fof%5FA%5FDad%5FIn%5FA%5FDaughters%5FLife) - [Your Mission As A Dad Is More Important Than That Of A CEO Manager Or President](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#Your%5FMission%5FAs%5FA%5FDad%5FIs%5FMore%5FImportant%5FThan%5FThat%5FOf%5FA%5FCEO%5FManager%5FOr%5FPresident) - [and I hope you had a happy Fathers Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-a-fathers-day-letter-to-dad/#and%5FI%5Fhope%5Fyou%5Fhad%5Fa%5Fhappy%5FFathers%5FDay) *Re-posted from an article back in 2021, this post recognizes the importance of the role fathers play in a child's development. It has been updated for today.* ### **First, let's hear it for Moms!** We all fully recognize the importance of a mom in a child’s life. Indeed, no one can surpass the love, compassion, caring, empathy, and tenderness of a mother. Dads can demonstrate those traits, but not always to the extent of their female counterparts and, one could argue; that’s not what dads are for anyway. It seems clear that when God devised the family, He delineated very special and specific roles for each member that divinely complement one other to provide a child all that’s necessary to grow in a healthy and well-rounded way. #### **The Purpose of This Post: A Shout-out For Dad!** This post is an open letter to all fathers out there. Please share it with your husband - or any male for that matter - to the dads who read these posts: I hope you find it informative. In any case, there are a few things dads need to know, and I aim to tell them. So, here it goes: ## Dear Dads, I’m not sure you realize just how important you are in your child’s life. [***The relationship between both parents is very important.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/)You may think your wife picks up the slack, among other things, and that moms are the true nurturing force, and you may be right about that. However, your role is invaluable and irreplaceable. In fact, your presence in your child’s life makes all the difference in the world for your child. For example, did you know that your engagement in your kid’s life results in your child being more engaged in school (almost 50% more likely to earn better grades and the same percentage less likely to repeat a grade; 60% less likely to get in trouble at school or drop-out, and twice as likely to go to college), are more likely to stay out of trouble (80% less likely to spend time in jail!!!), avoid high-risk behaviors, and to hold off intimacy with the opposite sex (75% less likely to have a teen birth!!). As if that’s not powerful enough, it goes even further: your presence and attention results in your child having a much greater chance of becoming a successful adult with a better-paying job and healthier relationships. Incredibly, with you being in your child’s life, your kiddo is more likely to have a higher IQ and be emotionally more stable than otherwise. You probably didn’t know that infants with involved fathers have been found to have higher cognitive scores by one year of age than those without their father’s involvement. ### What if You Are a Dad Who Don’t Live in The Same Home as Your Child? That’s not optimal, but clearly, it’s surmountable. Stay engaged with phone calls, letters (the old-fashion handwritten kind), emails, texts, attending games, regular visitation, and balanced custody arrangements. A child simply knowing their dad cares is huge and is super impactful. However, you gotta realize that there is no substitute for your presence; buying gifts simply won’t cut it, and likely will make the situation worse. It’s very simple; your child wants and needs YOU, not stuff. Your child likely has a mom, and that’s immeasurably important, but you bring some special things to the table. Think about it: without you, how is your son going to know how a man is supposed to act? In the absence of watching how you treat her mother, how will your daughter know how she should be treated by her husband? Yeah, I know, this may sound stereotyped, but is it untrue? Without you, how will a boy learn to be tough and masculine and, at the same time, a gentleman? Of course, kids without fathers figure it out, but it’s not an easy path and doesn’t come as naturally. ### The Role of A Dad In A Daughter's Life: What about my daughter, you ask? Well, you’re no less important to her. There is a general sense that a father’s presence is equally important for son and daughter till puberty; thereafter, your presence helps immeasurably to keep your daughter from being sexually active. Girls with dads in their lives have less of an internal drive to act out sexually, have more self-control, and are generally less inclined to become sexually active at an early age. Daughters with attentive dads learn lots of important things including that they don’t need to be sexual to deserve a male’s attention. Moreover, your daughter sees you respecting her mother and learns how a woman is supposed to be treated in relationships. Your kids learn, directly from you, about dependability, work ethic, how a man is supposed to handle anger and emotions, and how to care for a family. You also have a profound impact on your child’s spiritual life. You are called to reflect God's fatherhood for your child; and to be a model of strength, leadership, love, faithfulness, grace, and mercy. Moreover, your child will follow your spiritual lead in that respect, which further shows the importance of your influence. ### Your Mission As A Dad Is More Important Than That Of A CEO, Manager, Or President. Your job as ‘father’ and ‘dad’ is the best and most challenging of positions. It can be daunting, may seem impossible, and you may feel like you’re failing at times, but staying in the game and ‘being there’ is how you win, and how your child wins. Okay, so what if you’ve been out of your child’s life? That is a difficult situation. Re-engaging with your child is a worthy pursuit, but rebuilding trust is usually a process. There may be multiple barriers to overcome including some legalities. The process usually begins with writing letters, which can be effective. Remember: it’s very comforting for a child to know that their father cares, even if they don’t have contact. However, there are some situations where re-engagement can be counterproductive and even harmful. It’s important to be sensitive to the history between you and your child. If you’re not sure how to proceed, feel free to reach out to me and we can talk: [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). I hope you find this letter to be heartening and inspiring. As a dad myself, I find it important to be reminded of our God-given role and place within the family, our paramount importance for our kids, and the need to strive to be our very best. I commend you for doing the same, and I wish you the best.... ## ...and I hope you had a happy Father's Day. ### How We Treat Series: How Community Psychiatric Centers Treat Adults with Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treat-adults-with-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:19.000Z Adult autism is an underserved clinical population. Many adults on the spectrum went undiagnosed in childhood and are only now seeking evaluation and support. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides evaluation and treatment services specifically designed for adults with autism. Our approach recognizes that adult presentations often look different from childhood presentations, and that adults may have developed compensatory strategies that mask the underlying diagnosis. Treatment for adults may include psychiatric evaluation, individual therapy, social skills support, and coordination of community resources. If you're an adult who suspects you may be autistic, or a family member seeking help for an adult loved one, Autism Centers of Pittsburgh is equipped to help. Visit our evaluations and services page to learn more. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How Community Psychiatric Centers Treats those with Intellectual Disability Disorder URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:03.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What is Intellectual Disability Disorder IDD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#What%5Fis%5FIntellectual%5FDisability%5FDisorder%5FIDD) - - [IDD Severity Levels And Adaptive Skills](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#IDD%5FSeverity%5FLevels%5FAnd%5FAdaptive%5FSkills) - [What Causes IDD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#What%5FCauses%5FIDD) - [Comorbidities](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#Comorbidities) - - [How Do We Treat Those With Intellectual Disabilities](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FTreat%5FThose%5FWith%5FIntellectual%5FDisabilities) - [Co-occurring Mental Health Issues And Promoting Family Harmony](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#Co-occurring%5FMental%5FHealth%5FIssues%5FAnd%5FPromoting%5FFamily%5FHarmony) - [How to get started](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#How%5Fto%5Fget%5Fstarted) - - [Thats a Wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-community-psychiatric-centers-treats-those-with-intellectual-disability-disorder-or-idd/#Thats%5Fa%5FWrap) *Part of the How We Treat Series; this chapter dives into the ways CPC supports and treats IDD.* ## **What is Intellectual Disability Disorder (IDD)?** Intellectual Disability is a condition whereby the individual has an overall intellectual quotient (IQ) and adaptive functioning that falls, on standardized and accepted measures, below 70, and such occurred before 18 years of age. These individuals subsequently struggle with reasoning, problem-solving, judgment, academic learning, and learning from experience. Moreover, in terms of deficits in adaptive functioning, some challenges significantly interfere with the individual’s ability to meet developmental and sociocultural norms and standards for independence and taking-on age-appropriate responsibilities. ### IDD Severity Levels And Adaptive Skills As would be expected, there are mild, moderate, and severe levels of the disorder. Those within the mild range (obtaining a standard score of 60-69 on intellectual and adaptive measures) can learn basic life skills but simply need more explanation, repetition, and oversight - these individuals can become somewhat independent in life. Those with Moderate to Severe IDD (59 to 50) will need far more support and oversight but can learn to complete simple activities of daily living while those with severe IDD (49 and below) will need close supervision and guidance for the duration of their lives. Individuals are assessed in terms of home living, learning, community use, employment, health and safety, and social activities. An individual would need to score at a deficit in at least four of these areas to qualify for services. ## **What Causes IDD?** Any number of factors can cause an individual to experience intellectual and adaptive deficits. In that respect, for example, prenatal exposure to substances (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), brain infection, traumatic brain injury, maternal infections, hypoxia, or hemorrhage. Genetic factors are also contributory, including Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21), and Fragile X. However, many cases of IDD are of unknown origin. ## **Comorbidities** Individuals with IDD are clearly at-risk for other complications and co-occurring conditions. In that respect, individuals with autism often also meet the criteria for IDD. Moreover, one study found upwards of 57% of individuals with IDD also met the criteria for a mood disorder, anxiety, ADHD, or schizophrenia. ### **How Do We Treat Those With Intellectual Disabilities?** Our goal is to help individuals with intellectual disabilities reach their fullest potential. We treat those of any age; children and adults. We focus on the aforementioned adaptive skills so that, no matter the level of intellect, each is capable as possible to care for their home and living space, learn from experience, take full advantage of community resources, get and keep a job, maintain their health and safety, and develop/maintain social pursuits. Then, we work directly with individuals in the home and community to meet their individualized needs. ## **Co-occurring Mental Health Issues, And Promoting Family Harmony** [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) is uniquely prepared to address any co-morbid mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, attention problems, or trouble with anger management. A primary aspect of the Intellectual Disabilities Disorder treatment program is counseling and behavioral support to promote healthy living. This support is provided directly in the home and can relocate to our outpatient clinic program where we can also provide medication management. It’s not uncommon that individuals with intellectual deficits struggle with loved ones – they don’t always see eye-to-eye in terms of carrying out household duties, maintaining grooming and hygiene, and consequently, there may be some trouble getting along - we also address such issues and promote family communication and harmony. # **How to get started** Check out the details of our[***IDD program***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/intellectual-disabilities-and-adult-autism-waiver-services/) at cpcwecare.com. You cancall to make an appointment for an evaluation at **(724) 850-7200** or email me at [**DrCarosso@aol.com**](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). Together, we can work toward establishing a diagnosis and starting services. The same holds true if a diagnosis is already established – call us and we’ll discuss service options including connecting with a Service Coordinator and getting services started. ## **That’s a Wrap** May God bless you and your family as you pursue services for your loved ones. I hope this post helps in that effort to clarify the resources available for those with Intellectual Disabilities. We look forward to answering any questions along the way and meeting your family’s needs. Don’t hesitate to call or email. ### Would You Rescue Your Spouse Before Your Kids? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:22.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Heres a Story For You](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/#Heres%5Fa%5FStory%5FFor%5FYou) - - [The Kids Pretty Wise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/#The%5FKids%5FPretty%5FWise) - - [Single Parent](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/#Single%5FParent) - [Bottom Line](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/#Bottom%5FLine) - - [Do You Need Some Help](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids-valentines-2023/#Do%5FYou%5FNeed%5FSome%5FHelp) *I originally published* [*this post*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/would-you-rescue-your-spouse-before-your-kids/) *in late 2014; it's one of my favorites and I hope one of yours. I'm reminded daily of the power of family on a child's life, especially that of a mother and father working in tandem. This Valentine's Day, this is a good post in regards to the importance of the mother/father - husband/wife relationship as the foundation of the home, and the springboard for what creates healthy and secure children. So, without further ado:* ## Here’s a Story For You: A Dad and his son were fishing in a boat. The son looked toward his Dad and inquired, “Dad, if Mom and I fell out of the boat and were drowning, who would you save first?” His Dad, without hesitating, responded “Son, I’d have your Mother in the boat, and dried off, before I’d even think about coming after you.” The son, astonished, looked with eyes wide and was about to exclaim his disapproval but stopped, appeared contemplative, then grinned and said, “Yea, that’s the way it should be.” ### The Kid’s Pretty Wise The son came to understand that the strength of the home, the foundation of the family, is Mom and Dad, together in harmony, close in their relationship, working for the family, strong in their bond, and on the same page with the kids. It’s true, there is no stronger glue to hold the family together than when Mom and Dad are secure in their relationship, which helps the kids to also be secure with themselves. Secure kids are far more likely to be calmer, more compliant, and easier in disposition. Of course, we don’t want to interpret the story literally, any number of factors may contribute to the Dad rescuing his son first (his wife is a better swimmer…) but, of course, that’s not the point of the story. #### Single Parent? If you’re a single parent, for whatever reason, then you’re undoubtedly doing the best you can, and God bless you in your efforts. The sentiment of this post in no way diminishes your diligence and love for your children or suggests that your child is not healthy and happy. The basis of this story is simply to express the importance of parents remaining strongly committed, and there are advantages of having two loving, committed, and harmonious parents working together with the kids. In a single-parent situation, when possible, it’s optimal that both parents remain highly involved with the children, civil with one another, and work toward having consistent expectations between the homes. ## Bottom Line? Simple; do whatever you can to maintain the sanctity, security, commitment, closeness, and bond in your marriage. Place your spouse first in your life (well, technically, second to God, but He too understands the importance of two becoming “one”… see Genesis 2:24). Live like it’s you two against the world, and you’ll always be ready for that overboard plunge. ### Do You Need Some [Help?](http://cpcwecare.com/psychiatriccenters/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) Raising a child with developmental issues, or who is quite strong-willed, can be quite taxing for parents, and it can be difficult to 'stay on the same page' and continue working together in that team-like fashion. If you need some help in that respect, don't hesitate to contact me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### The Formula for Successful Therapy URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:14.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [When Your Child is Involved in Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#When%5FYour%5FChild%5Fis%5FInvolved%5Fin%5FTherapy) - [Different Approaches to Therapy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Different%5FApproaches%5Fto%5FTherapy) - [The Steps of The Formula](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#The%5FSteps%5Fof%5FThe%5FFormula) - - [Step One Therapy Detective](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Step%5FOne%5FTherapy%5FDetective) - [Step Two Whats the Protocol to Treat the Problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Step%5FTwo%5FWhats%5Fthe%5FProtocol%5Fto%5FTreat%5Fthe%5FProblem) - [Step Three Rate the Three Primary Factors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Step%5FThree%5FRate%5Fthe%5FThree%5FPrimary%5FFactors) - [Lets Look at Each Factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Lets%5FLook%5Fat%5FEach%5FFactor) - [The Rating Process](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#The%5FRating%5FProcess) - [What Do These Scores Mean](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#What%5FDo%5FThese%5FScores%5FMean) - [Combining of Therapy Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Combining%5Fof%5FTherapy%5FApproaches) - - [Wrap-Up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-formula-for-successful-therapy/#Wrap-Up) ## **When Your Child is Involved in Therapy** If your child is involved in therapy, you may wonder about the approach of your child’s therapist, to what extent you’ll be involved in the therapy, and how those decisions are made. This post will shed some light on that process. ## **Different Approaches to Therapy** Therapists use different therapeutic approaches in the therapy process, such as client-centered (reflective listening) and cognitive-behavioral (CBT). Interestingly, how these approaches are utilized, and how they are implemented, depends on essential factors or aspects of their client. When working with an adult, a therapist may need to deal with some degree is resistance. But there is a general expectation that the adult will arrive for therapy and engage in a back-and-forth exchange. However, when working with children and teens, all bets are off. In that respect, a child therapist will be prepared for a wide range; from a five-year-old child with ADHD to a 15 year who doesn’t want to be in treatment. Of course, in each case, the approach will need to be quite different. This post will highlight the formula I developed that helps therapists navigate through those differences and utilize the correct approach for your child. ## **The Steps of The Formula** ### **Step One**: **Therapy Detective** The formula begins with the therapist acting as a [***Behavioral Detective***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/) to fully understand the specific issues that bring a child or teen into therapy. In that regard, there are dozens of questions that need to be answered to help the practitioner understand the history of the condition and the current behaviors and emotions. The therapist then prioritizes the problematic behaviors to determine which to target in treatment, and in what order. **In Step One – the therapist must know the specific behaviors/emotions that need to be targeted in treatment. The therapist must be laser-focused on the specific behaviors that led to the child being in therapy in the first place.** Prior to beginning therapy and before any session with your child, the therapist must have a clear understanding **of the specific behavior(s) that needs to be addressed.** This could include, for example, the child demonstrating outbursts when asked to do a chore. ### **Step Two: What’s the Protocol to Treat the Problem?** Once the practitioner fully understands the *specific problematic behavior* that needs targeting in the session, the next step is to determine the specific '*best-practice' treatment protocol* to treat that specific behavior. This usually includes teaching any number of coping skills, improving communication, and helping the parent to implement behavior management. ### **Step Three: Rate the Three Primary Factors** Next, your child’s practitioner will determine how to implement that treatment protocol based on three factors: the child's or teens’ level of **insight, openness, and attentiveness**. ## **Let’s Look at Each Factor**: ***Insight*** denotes the extent to which a child or teen realizes that they have a problem and understand the dynamics of the problem. In that respect, some kids can, for example, explain their tendency to quickly become emotional and understand that their reaction ‘goes way too far’, while other kiddos have a far more difficult time in that respect and tend to only blame others. **Openness** to treatment reflects being ‘open’ and willing to talk and discuss the issue, as opposed to being resistant, guarded, and defensive. You can see that insight and openness overlap to some extent. However, a child can have great insight but not be open to treatment, or have poor insight but be more than willing to participate in treatment. ***Attention*** simply indicates the extent to which the child can pay attention, focus, and remain on-topic for a back-and-forth conversation and explore any given issue. As you would expect, a child with more severe ADHD would struggle with attention. All children and teens can be rated on these three aspects. Here’s how your therapist uses this process: ## **The Rating Process** Your child or teen's therapist will score these three factors from 1-10 (1 is low, 10 is high, or well-developed). - **Insight** (1-10) - **Openness to treatment** (1-10) - **Focused/attentive** (1-10) Plug the score into the scale below, and the scale guides the therapy approach: ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/Carosso-Scale-2-683x1024.png) **The difference in how the therapist will approach a client with a high, medium, and low score** *\*Note that a high or low score is not ‘bad’ or ‘good’, it simply ‘is what it is’ and guides a therapist on how to implement the protocol.* ## What Do These Scores Mean? **High Score**: Traditional talk therapy - talking "with" the client; give-and-take, reflective listening, back-and-forth dialogue talking about coping skills. **Medium Score**: More so talking 'at' the client and psycho-education. Teaching, explaining coping skills, and discussing scenarios that are similar to the client's issues is common. Explaining how other clients overcame a similar problem is sometimes used. This is similar to using a 'social story' but in a more mature context. The therapist may also negotiate with a teen client to elevate them higher on the scale. They may say: "if you are cooperative, we can work on the problem so you don't have to come to therapy anymore..." The therapist will also rely on involving the parent in the sessions to address communication and behavior management. **Low Score**: It’s more common for a younger child to earn a lower score, especially a child with ADHD or autism with poor insight. The child may be open to treatment but can't pay attention. In this instance, an activity-based approach will predominate such as utilizing games and activities, and play-oriented therapy, to directly target and improve attention, frustration tolerance, sharing, turn-taking, and emotional regulation. Social stories and the use of pictures and art is also common to promote attention, interest, and learning skills. Parent involvement and working on behavioral management during sessions are vital. ## **Combining of Therapy Approaches** A therapist will combine approaches because clients may not fall into any one area and may change in terms of openness from session to session. Moreover, aspects of all the approaches will be relevant for all clients. In addition to utilizing a more traditional talk-therapy approach, therapists will involve parents. They will discuss behavior management, incorporate psycho-education, and use games and activities to work on feelings and coping skills. This formula indicates those approaches that the therapist *will predominately rely on* during therapy sessions for any given client. ### **Wrap-Up** I hope this post helps to clarify how your child’s therapist decides on the treatment protocol and how to implement that protocol with your child. At [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)*,* your involvement, as the parent, is always vital and instrumental! We’ll always ensure you’re a large part of the process and understand all aspects of your child’s treatment. If you have any specific questions, feel free to email me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). To make an appointment, feel free to call 724-850-7200\. God bless you and your family. ### Have You Seen All Our Parent Resources? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:59.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Parent Resources Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#The%5FParent%5FResources%5FPage) - [My Book Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#My%5FBook%5FPage) - [The Focused Articles](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#The%5FFocused%5FArticles) - [eBooks Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#eBooks%5FPage) - [Lets Get Social](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#Lets%5FGet%5FSocial) - [Other Important Resources](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/have-you-seen-all-our-parent-resources/#Other%5FImportant%5FResources) This website functions as a sort of library for all the videos, articles, Quick-Reference Guides, and in-depth eBooks that I have created and collected over the years. Today's post is a mini tour of all the helpful information we have to offer parents and caregivers. Check out the latest helpful parenting resources! ## The Parent Resources Page An extension of my regular blog articles, the [***Parent Resources Page***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parent-resources-2/) showcases these five categories: 1. **Videos** \- watch educational videos from the Apple Hill Institute. 2. **Quick Guides** \- use our convenient downloadable PDFs of common childhood challenges. 3. **eBooks** \- explore my comprehensive deep-dive articles in a handy electronic booklet format. 4. **Video Blog** \- review this extensive collection of my popular video blog, *Dr. C's Morning Minute*. 5. **Focused Articles** \- reference the articles that answer some of the common questions parents ask. ## My Book Page For more than 30 years I've honed my experience as a Clinical Child Psychologist and Certified School Psychologist. In my mission to share my knowledge with the parents and caretakers that I speak to in my practices, I wrote a book to outline and address the five most challenging health conditions that people seek my help for. This page talks more about my book, [***Managing The 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Health Conditions Of Our Day***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/), what information it contains, and how to pick up your own copy wherever you live. ## The Focused Articles Sometimes a subject deserves a more focused article to narrow down the information needed. The Focused Articles Section of the [***Parent Resources Page***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parent-resources-2/) highlights some common questions parents have for our treatments and diagnostics. - **Medication Management** - **ADHD - Facts and Fallacies** - **Encopresis** - **Quick Answers to Five Common Questions About Childhood Disorders** - **Oppositional Defiant Disorder or “O.D.D.”** ## eBooks Page My EBooks are comprehensive, interactive digital magazines with videos and links. Covering some of the most popular childhood challenge subjects, they are packed into an easy-to-read and share format for your convenience. They are in the blog archives and listed with the blog articles as they are posted, but they also have a handy home on the [***eBooks Page.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ebooks/) Here is the list at this time (more are added regularly): - [*How We Treat Series: Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Autism, Emotional Outbursts*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/ebooks/how-we-treat-eBook/#page=1) - [*The Steps to Improve Your Child’s Behavior, with Teaching Videos*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/ebooks/make-it-easy-teaching-videos/#page=1) - [*Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) in a Parent-Friendly Format with Teaching Videos*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/ebooks/ABA-ebook/#page=1) - [*The ADHD Diagnosis, Severity Level, and Treatment Options*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-carossos-ebook-the-adhd-diagnosis-severity-level-and-treatment-options/) - [*The Most Common Discipline Methods Don’t Work: Here’s Why, and How to Make Them Work*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-most-common-discipline-methods-dont-work-heres-why-and-how-to-make-them-work/) ## Let's Get Social! I like to share my advice and answer questions from the public directly on my professional Facebook Page. It also has daily tips and suggestions about parenting: [***https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso***](https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=www.facebook.com&t=h.eJw1jUkOAiEUBa%5FSYW2YRJBe9VUY7YHubwBDjPHuBqPLl3qpeqFHTmgc0FzrvYyEtNZwNC5YgA072InPeIX5cCZDKYBOA9r6%5FwgV8i1WoZXgShCT0lLgmGqDOi-5PvfgF%5FM1WKmtd5IzdaFeiWi1oJQrKmiwSkdGmFRnxa5cU8xlL4ReWMOvORlIXdSJ7-S%5F3x8oUzsw.MEYCIQCiUEowr5%5Fe340YZnJMSGP861bjZmBcqBCA5yfskmw1NAIhAPsrXeNaj38PTfUekna%5Fu74On%5F9t4se-5IMgR9Wv4a0C&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Send me a message, and share something you've learned or liked! ## Other Important Resources If your child struggles with reading, see the [***Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center at DyslexiaTreaters.com***](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) for our dyslexia resources and online Reading Therapy. Here, you can easily set up an appointment for a diagnosis, learn more about recommended treatment options, and schedule our Reading Therapy sessions from the comfort of your own home. I trust you'll find these resources to be helpful and informative. Feel free to email me with any questions at [***DrCarosso@aol.com***](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com)or call to schedule at (724) 850-7200\. May God deeply bless you and your children. ### How We Treat Series: School Refusal URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:24.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Your Child Wont Go to School](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#Your%5FChild%5FWont%5FGo%5Fto%5FSchool) - [Physical Complaints](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#Physical%5FComplaints) - [What Causes School Refusal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#What%5FCauses%5FSchool%5FRefusal) - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - - [What If Your Child is Too Big To Carry Them Into School](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#What%5FIf%5FYour%5FChild%5Fis%5FToo%5FBig%5FTo%5FCarry%5FThem%5FInto%5FSchool) - [Can Counseling Help School-Refusal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#Can%5FCounseling%5FHelp%5FSchool-Refusal) - - [What About In Home Services](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#What%5FAbout%5FIn%5FHome%5FServices) - [Should You Try Home or Cyber Schooling](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#Should%5FYou%5FTry%5FHome%5For%5FCyber%5FSchooling) - [When to Consider An Alternative School Placement](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#When%5Fto%5FConsider%5FAn%5FAlternative%5FSchool%5FPlacement) - - [Summing Up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-series-school-refusal/#Summing%5FUp) ### **Your Child Won’t Go to School** An all-too-common situation (especially since Covid) is a child being reluctant or even refusing to attend school. This post will focus on anxiety-based refusal; the child is refusing to attend school due to genuine anxiety reactions. Consequently, the night before school your child is fretting about the next day, and the mornings are fraught with drama and emotion as you try to convince your child to attend, but he or she continues to resist and present as emotional, maybe even to the point of vomiting. ### **Physical Complaints** Does your child complain of stomachaches, headaches, and vague pains, or simply not feeling well especially the morning before school? This is quite common. Anxiety often manifests in somatic complaints that further complicate the situation given you’re not sure if the complaint is genuine or simply to avoid school. ### **What Causes School Refusal**? This problem can be seen as simply a manifestation of an anxiety disorder. In that respect, anxiety shows itself in lots of different ways but a primary aspect of anxiety is tendency to avoid that which makes us anxious. In this situation, the prospect of attending school, or leaving home/mom, or both, is causing undue anxiety and panic reactions. People are often genetically predisposed to anxiety. ## **What To Do?** There are number of steps to address this issue, depending on the age/size of your child and the severity of the problem. The goal is always to rely on the carrot, rather than the stick. In that respect, we want to rely on praise, rewards, encouragement, and incentives rather than punishments. Consequently, we offer extra rewards for going to school, and often we’ll remove enticing past-times if the child refuses school, such as toys and video games. However, if your child continues to refuse and your child is small and manageable in that respect, you may find it necessary to physically escort or literally carry your child to school. You may want to enlist some help, such as mom and dad working together in that respect, but the message is ‘you’re going to school one way or the other’. Once your child realizes that their avoidance and emotion is futile, usually you’ll notice improvement and less resistance. If your child refuses to get dressed in the morning, some parents have had success informing their child that they will be taken to school in their pajamas, if that’s necessary, and they can change in the nurse’s office. In that respect, this is a solidly no-nonsense approach to school refusal. ### **What If Your Child is Too Big To Carry Them Into School?** Things get more complicated when your child is larger, and you can't physically escort or carry them into school. It’s advised to utilize counseling, which will be discussed further below. Also, reinforcement for attendance and we also make the home life (during the school day) as boring as possible to entice school attendance. However, what if that doesn’t work? ### **Can Counseling Help School-Refusal?** In these situations, it’s helpful to utilize professional support such as a therapist. At [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)***,*** we can utilize outpatient counseling, in home support, and medication management to help the situation. The therapist will work on coping skills, deep breathing, healthy self-talk, and desensitization techniques. The latter involves getting your child out of the house daily and in the presence of others that could include a sport, club, group, church, anywhere there are people. There should not be a day that goes-by that your child is not out of the house. Even better, play at the school’s park, meet up with friends from your child’s classroom for play dates, and ask for videos or Facetime from his or teacher with enthusiastic and fun messages. Medication can also be considered to reduce anxiety and improve general emotional stability. #### **What About In Home Services?** Counseling can also take the form of [***in-home services (IBHS…)***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/). This approach can be helpful if the practitioner can come to the home in the morning and assist in getting the child to school. Here at ***Community Psychiatric Centers***, we offer such in-home support, which can be invaluable. The Youth Advocate Program also offers an in-home truancy prevention program that can be worth exploring. ### **Should You Try Home or Cyber Schooling?** While you’re trying to get your child to school, your child needs to be educated. How will that take place? Often the school district will send home work, which helps to keep up some assignment completion but clearly it’s not a long term solution and does not facilitate your child is not receiving a proper education. Some parents will consider a cyber school, which isn’t necessarily a bad option under the following condition: 1. You’ve tried all the above to get your child to school, to no avail 2. Weeks are going-by, and you’re worried about truancy charges and your child’s lack of education at home 3. You consider cyber school while, at the same time, you’re child is getting out-of-the-house on a daily basis for groups, clubs, church, sports, walks, trips to the store, going to the park or library, to anywhere there are people. 4. It’s considered time-limited as you’re assertively working toward getting your child to a brick-and-mortar school. 5. You start with cyber and then work your child, one class at a time, back to regular school. 6. Preferably a cyber-school that offers synchronous teaching (live teaching with a live classroom). ### **When to Consider An Alternative School Placement**... An alternative school placement is often considered such as a school-based partial program or alternative school. The idea is that the alternative placement will offer smaller classrooms and more support to help your child feel comfortable. This option has merit and can be quite helpful in the short term! The goal would be to progressively get your child back to regular school. However, what I’ve found, is that we can’t get the child to the alternative school any more than we can get them to regular school. #### **Summing Up** Managing school-refusal can be quite a challenge. We use multiple strategies, with the ultimate goal of getting the child back to a brick-and-mortar school classroom. Otherwise, we run the risk of the child becoming increasingly anxiety-ridden and house bound. While we’re working on attending a regular school, there is involvement in daily out-of-the-home activities. In the meantime, a cyber school may be attempted, but such would be time limited with a step-by-step approach to a return to regular school. Counseling and medication can be helpful, especially in home support. Alternative school placements can be very effective, if you can get your child to the placement. Don’t hesitate to email any questions to DrCarosso@aol.com or call for an appointment at (724) 850-7200\. God bless you and your kids. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-importance-of-faith-in-childhood-challenges/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:06.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Im Expected to Do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-importance-of-faith-in-childhood-challenges/#What%5FIm%5FExpected%5Fto%5FDo%E2%80%A6) - [Is There More](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-importance-of-faith-in-childhood-challenges/#Is%5FThere%5FMore) - - [Seems Only Fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-importance-of-faith-in-childhood-challenges/#Seems%5FOnly%5FFitting) - [Tap Into the Source of Faith](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-importance-of-faith-in-childhood-challenges/#Tap%5FInto%5Fthe%5FSource%5Fof%5FFaith) *Sharing this post is one of my favorite traditions. This Christmas blog post was first put up on HelpForYourChild.com back in 2012\. It has been helping families recognize the role Faith plays in helping families and childhood difficulties.* ### What I’m Expected to Do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be a good listener (Client-Centered techniques), stay in the moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways ([***Applied Behavioral Analysis***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/)). ## Is There More? Well, yes there is. Help for your child is sometimes more than just a clinical approach. I’m usually not expected to focus on spirituality but, sometimes, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have access to a large lifeboat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems Only Fitting During Christmas, it's good to remember that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves. And in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ## Tap Into the Source of Faith Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). As a practicing Christian, tapping into that life-changing Source entails following [***Romans 10:9***](https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ROM.10.9.NIV?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? ### Dr. John Carosso's eBook — How We Treat Series: Depression and Anxiety, Autism, ADHD, and Emotional Outbursts URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-how-we-treat-series-depression-and-anxiety-autism-adhd-and-emotional-outbursts/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:21.000Z Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D., has spent decades working with children, adolescents, and adults facing some of the most complex neurodevelopmental and behavioral health challenges, including autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation. This eBook, part of Dr. Carosso's "How We Treat" series, distills that clinical experience into accessible guidance for parents and caregivers. While this resource lives on the HelpForYourChild.com platform, Dr. Carosso's autism and neurodevelopmental work is now centered at Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, where he and his team provide comprehensive evaluation and treatment services. To access current resources, clinical guidance, and information about services, visit Autism Centers of Pittsburgh at acpitt.com. [Visit Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Raising Thankful Children URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:52.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Practice Being Thankful Year-round](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#Practice%5FBeing%5FThankful%5FYear-round) - [An All-Too-Common Problem%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#An%5FAll-Too-Common%5FProblem%E2%80%A6) - [Managing Entitlement](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#Managing%5FEntitlement) - [How Do We Help Them Practice Being Thankful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FHelp%5FThem%5FPractice%5FBeing%5FThankful) - - - [1 Give with a little more restraint](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#1%5FGive%5Fwith%5Fa%5Flittle%5Fmore%5Frestraint) - [2 Have kids work for what they want](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#2%5FHave%5Fkids%5Fwork%5Ffor%5Fwhat%5Fthey%5Fwant) - [3 Show them what its like for those less fortunate](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#3%5FShow%5Fthem%5Fwhat%5Fits%5Flike%5Ffor%5Fthose%5Fless%5Ffortunate) - [4 Practice thankfulness](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#4%5FPractice%5Fthankfulness) - [5 Seek out gratitude-building church messages](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#5%5FSeek%5Fout%5Fgratitude-building%5Fchurch%5Fmessages) - [Its Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Being Thankful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/raising-thankful-children/#Its%5FNot%5FToo%5FLate%5Fto%5FTeach%5FYour%5FKids%5FAbout%5FBeing%5FThankful) The holiday season is a time for lots of family and celebrations. It can feel like the modern world emphasizes the excesses of festivities and gifts that often come with those celebrations. In a season where material things are advertised at every turn, how do you provide a balance between helping your children be thankful for what they have, and providing them with that ‘Christmas morning magic’ of a pile of presents? It’s a tough balancing act! ### **Practice Being Thankful Year-round** I imagine many of us try to keep that sentiment of thankfulness at the forefront of our minds and would prefer our kids do as well. However, do we find that, at times, our kids don’t seem so thankful? They have less than a strong sense of gratitude. Ironically, the more you do for your kids, the less thankful they may seem. ### **An All-Too-Common Problem…** It’s sort of a trap. We love our kids so much and want them to be happy and content. At the same time, we live in the most prosperous and affluent country in the history of the world, so we have ample opportunity to give our kids lots of stuff. So what transpires? As we give them more, we find that they tend to expect more. There comes a sense of entitlement and more expectation as opposed to a gracious and genuine “thank you!!” Yes, it’s true, and clearly evidenced in our daily lives. The more someone gets, often the less gracious they become. Moreover, the lower the expectations to be able to obtain items (don’t have to work for it), the higher a child’s sense of entitlement. ### **Managing Entitlement** People who feel entitled and come to expect things without a strong sense of gratitude are typically unhappy people. In that respect, gratitude is a barometer for happiness. The more gratitude a person feels in life, the happier they are going to be. It’s hard to be happy when you ‘expect’ more, and aren’t happy with what you already have. ## **How Do We Help Them Practice Being Thankful?** Here are some ideas: #### **1\. *Give with a little more restraint.*** In that respect, we don’t give a child everything for which they ask. Remember the old adage: “give a child everything they need, but very little of what they want.” (who said that?) #### **2\. *Have kids work for what they want*.** This can be through an allowance, and they can save their money. It's worth considering that there are two different sets of chores in any home; those chores that are done because we all live together and have to pitch in to run the household, such as cleaning one’s room, emptying the garbage, running the sweeper… and those chores that may be considered ‘above and beyond’ for which an allowance will be considered: such as raking leaves, pulling weeds, shoveling snow, washing the car, cleaning windows… for younger kids, the list of chores for which an allowance will be allotted may be a bit longer, but as a child gets older, that list will get smaller so it will be harder to earn an allowance. Developing a work ethic is an important life skill. #### **3\. *Show them what it’s like for those less fortunate*.** Local churches have myriad opportunities for this type of service; we can sign up our kids (and we go along) to volunteer at a shelter (with direct parent oversight), at the Goodwill, or go on a mission’s trip. This offers an opportunity to give back, see how good they have it, and see firsthand how others are living. Donating toys/ items that the child has grown out of can be a powerful motivator to keep an uncluttered household, and it helps to cement the idea of helping the less fortunate. #### **4\. *Practice thankfulness.*** We make sure that, weekly, they write down all the things for which they are grateful. Also, it is good to get them in the habit of writing well-thought-out and gracious thank you cards for any gift they receive. This can start at a very early age, even if they are not yet able to write the cards themselves. #### **5\. *Seek out gratitude-building church messages.*** Get your kiddo to church, synagogue, or temple (wherever you worship). at least once if not twice a week. Most churches have a kid’s program that also meets Wednesday evenings). If a church is doing its job, the preacher(s) are teaching about gratitude, thankfulness, self-sacrifice, the 10th Commandment (okay, I’ll give you a hint – that one about not-coveting and, rather, being happy with what God's given you), love, patience, humility, being meek, and caring for others. Can you think of better messages for our children? ## **It’s Not Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Being Thankful!** Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. It’s too late. Your child is already an over-indulged tyrant who is running the household. Well, even in that seemingly dire situation, it’s not too late. You may need to take it a bit slower, but you can do it!! Follow the pointers above and, slowly but surely, things will begin to change. Your child will not be happy as you begin this process, they will fuss and try to wear you down. If you need help and guidance along the way, and maybe some moral support, that’s what I’m here for (and your local church with help from the Children’s Pastor). If you want to make a change in the direction of enhancing gratitude, you have to start sometime. How about today? Here is wishing you and yours a relaxing and delightful Holiday Season with your family and friends, and with your ever-increasingly grateful children. For more tips on surviving the challenges that can come up during this time of year, check out my post: [***Managing the Holiday Season.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/) 😊 God bless you. ### How Do You Plan Successful Holiday Outings? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:08.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [7 Tips for Successful Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#7%5FTips%5Ffor%5FSuccessful%5FOutings) - - - [1 Start Small](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#1%5FStart%5FSmall) - [2 Agree on %E2%80%98Rules Before Leaving](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#2%5FAgree%5Fon%5F%E2%80%98Rules%5FBefore%5FLeaving) - [3 Make the Schedule Clear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#3%5FMake%5Fthe%5FSchedule%5FClear) - [4 Provide Simple Directions on How to Behave Well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#4%5FProvide%5FSimple%5FDirections%5Fon%5FHow%5Fto%5FBehave%5FWell) - [5 Get Your Child Involved](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#5%5FGet%5FYour%5FChild%5FInvolved) - [6 Steer Clear of Conflicts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#6%5FSteer%5FClear%5Fof%5FConflicts) - [7 The Best-Laid Plans%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#7%5FThe%5FBest-Laid%5FPlans%E2%80%A6) - [Reducing Overstimulation on Your Trips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Reducing%5FOverstimulation%5Fon%5FYour%5FTrips) - - - [Watch Out for Problem Behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Watch%5FOut%5Ffor%5FProblem%5FBehaviors) - [Managing Successful Outings Behavioral Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Managing%5FSuccessful%5FOutings%5FBehavioral%5FApproaches) - - - [Distract and Redirect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Distract%5Fand%5FRedirect) - [Dealing with Others Judgements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Dealing%5Fwith%5FOthers%5FJudgements) - [Safety First on Holiday Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-do-you-plan-successful-holiday-outings/#Safety%5FFirst%5Fon%5FHoliday%5FOutings) *A very popular article here at HelpForYourChild, this article appeared in December of 2021 - and has been updated for this year’s holiday season.* Thanksgiving grocery runs, day trips to visit family, shopping at the mall - the holiday season often includes busy public outings with your child. These can be quite tricky and challenging! Children sometimes find the new environment, whether it be a store or a crowded holiday event, to be overstimulating. They try to carry out the outing ‘on their terms’ rather than on yours. However, if you make a plan in advance, there are some strategies to improve the situation and plan successful outings. ## 7 Tips for Successful Outings: #### 1\. Start Small: Just like anything else, behavior in public is a skill that is learned over time. Role-play at home (set up a mock store or restaurant). Start with short stints, then increase exposure. Quick daily outings (in and out, but longer over time) are better at first. For example a brief trip to a local deli, then to a restaurant… #### 2\. Agree on ‘Rules’ Before Leaving: Outline an explanation of where you are going, expectations for behavior, and the rewards/consequences if things go well, or not so well. Make sure your child understands what your (achievable) expectations are. #### 3\. Make the Schedule Clear: What will happen during the trip, where you’ll be going, what they will do (park, walk, go to a particular store, ride in a cart, take a snack break, meet new people…) and how long it will take? Show photos ahead of time of where you’re going, if possible. Remind them of what part you are at during the excursion, and what comes next. A picture schedule can be very helpful. #### 4\. Provide Simple Directions on How to Behave Well: Holding an adult’s hand, staying close, etc. Frequently tell them how they’re doing and offer tons of praise and give little tokens for good behavior whenever you see good behavior, or every so often during the outing. They can trade in the tokens for desired items. #### 5\. Get Your Child Involved Ask questions! If shopping, your child can help find items – keep them occupied. You can even give them money to make purchases. Bring along their favorite toys, food, or familiar item. Have them help plan out the day with you when you put together the outing. Develop ‘Social Stories’ about public outings, and encourage your child’s involvement with that process. #### 6\. Steer Clear of Conflicts Limit how often, length, and where you shop depending on your child’s tolerance level. Keep trips short, take breaks, and use a stroller. Make sure they are not tired or hungry (either of you). Be careful of your attitude and fatigue (keep upbeat and happy). Take along a wishlist: if he sees something he can’t have, add it to the wishlist. Share your child's enthusiasm for desired items. Try to avoid tempting places, or keep those places at small doses. #### 7\. The Best-Laid Plans… Sometimes, even with all the preparation, difficulties are unavoidable. It can feel frustrating, especially if the outings are somewhere with challenging distractions. Visit at off-hours (6 to 7 PM or early in the AM, or early in the week). Know the store/destination layout in advance (bathrooms, exit, food, water fountain, babysitting, fire extinguishers (that was a joke)…). If possible, have another adult with you, especially if taking multiple kiddos. In certain situations, you can ask a psychologist to prescribe accommodations at a holiday event or similar destination. ## Reducing Overstimulation on Your Trips Many children find busy stores to be exciting, if not overstimulating. And neurodivergent children can struggle even more so. Here are some things to think about if your child tends to get overwhelmed in some environments: - Some places are simply too stimulating for some children (the Mall in December…) - Physical overstimulation of crowds: brushing and compression. Avoid long lines, large crowds, and noisy environments - Take breaks or do shorter stints - Noise-Reducing headphones may help - Redirect to details (refocusing on specific items or areas of the store helps to squelch a child feeling overwhelmed by the surroundings) - Deep breaths; count to ten - Don’t push the limits. At times it’s best to simply not take your child #### Watch Out for Problem Behaviors Problem behaviors can be a form of communication. Note the triggers, problem areas, and anything that makes it predictable. If you can predict it, you can prevent it! Some issues to look out for are boredom, overstimulation, hunger, and fatigue (it’s tough for those little legs to keep up). ## Managing Successful Outings: Behavioral Approaches Behavior management is the key; remain consistent and remember that what works at home, will often work in public as well. Try to be consistent with behavior management in all settings (between home, school, and community). Reinforce good behavior (you get what you praise, and be specific in that praise). When misbehavior occurs, intervene and make eye contact as soon as it happens, and then redirect to replacement behavior. Use time-outs in the store, or take a break outside. Avoid losing your cool. A time-out does not need to be a “punishment” but, rather a quiet moment outside the store to calm down. #### Distract and Redirect Here are some tricks to effectively redirect your child to what you want him/her to do, rather than what you don’t want: - Tell them what to do, not what not to do - 1-2-3 Magic - Have a plan ahead of time, and always have a Plan B! - Remove your child to a private place to discipline - Give choices (stand beside me or stop at the end of the aisle) - Get eye contact before giving a direction - Make a game of shopping (What item is in the yellow box?; I spy) Stores are like oversized classrooms that just happen to sell things. Make a trip a learning opportunity. This strategy also helps to keep the child busy and keeps their attention. Here are some ways to use that learning enthusiasm as a way to engage your child: 1. Count the number of items you need 2. Find the items based on color or size 3. Make a list at home, and have the child help find the items 4. Name everything in the cart, how they can be used, where they came from 5. Use all senses; notice smells, texture, and differences in color 6. Older children can help with checkout, request paper or plastic, give coupons… ## Dealing with Other’s Judgements Sometimes, when you are in a public place with your child, people find it necessary to put in their ‘two cents’; especially if your child has a learning or behavioral difficulty. Here are some ways to deal with that frustration: - Autism Awareness Cards (explains [**autism**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/category/autism/)and how to be supportive) - “My child is autistic, what’s your problem?” - T-shirt: *I have autism; be nice to my Mom* - Find some merit in their complaint (child making noise in a restaurant…) - Keep it in perspective (all kids freak out sometimes in stores; it’s kinda funny sometimes) - Simply ignore them ## Safety First on Holiday Outings It’s important to stay safe while having fun excursions together. It’s important to remember snacks and warm clothing, but what else? You should never leave your child alone unsupervised in a car. Keep your child close (hold hands, or steer the cart, or hang onto the cart). You might consider a name tag if your child has trouble communicating, and practice a plan in case you get separated. Some parents have had success using a harness and tethering device (“leash”) that can be used in more extreme situations where safety is an issue. However, it is important to ‘phase’ out the leash for increasing periods while using high levels of positive reinforcement. If possible, it might be beneficial to have a Service K-9 for a child who needs that additional support. I hope these tips prove to be helpful and keep your outings merry this holiday season. If you would like to schedule an appointment or would like to know more about all our services, please visit [**http://cpcwecare.com/**](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Happy Holidays! ### How We Treat Your Child’s Emotional Outbursts URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:26.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Causes Emotional Oversensitivity Overreactions and Outbursts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#What%5FCauses%5FEmotional%5FOversensitivity%5FOverreactions%5Fand%5FOutbursts) - - [Genetic Underpinning](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#Genetic%5FUnderpinning) - [A Genuine Underlying Mood disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#A%5FGenuine%5FUnderlying%5FMood%5Fdisorder) - [An Anxiety Disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#An%5FAnxiety%5FDisorder) - [An Experience of Trauma](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#An%5FExperience%5Fof%5FTrauma) - [The Autism Spectrum](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#The%5FAutism%5FSpectrum) - [Okay So What Do You Do About Outbursts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#Okay%5FSo%5FWhat%5FDo%5FYou%5FDo%5FAbout%5FOutbursts) - [1 Remain Calm](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#1%5FRemain%5FCalm) - [2 Give Validation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#2%5FGive%5FValidation) - [3 Dont Judge](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#3%5FDont%5FJudge) - [4 Practice Coping Skills](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#4%5FPractice%5FCoping%5FSkills) - - - - [Coping Skills For Overreactions and Emotional Outbursts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#Coping%5FSkills%5FFor%5FOverreactions%5Fand%5FEmotional%5FOutbursts) - [5 Behavioral TherapyCounseling](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#5%5FBehavioral%5FTherapyCounseling) - [6 Medication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#6%5FMedication) - - [And Thats a Wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-your-childs-emotional-outbursts/#And%5FThats%5Fa%5FWrap) One of the foremost concerns expressed by parents is often regarding their child’s emotional sensitivity, overreaction, and subsequent emotional outbursts. It’s troubling to see your child or adolescent struggling, but it’s good to know that there are practical and effective strategies to improve the situation. Let’s review them today. ### **What Causes Emotional Oversensitivity, Overreactions, and Outbursts?** First, Let’s review the causes of emotional escalation, which tends to be multi-faceted. In that respect, interestingly, a primary component of many childhood disorders is being overly emotionally reactive. More specifically, in my clinical experience and observations, the reason kids/individuals tend to be hyper-reactive, emotional, and prone toward outbursts includes the following, in no particular order: #### **Genetic Underpinning** In that respect, for example, if Bipolar Disorder, panic, and anxiety, or severe depression runs in the family, then clearly the child is genetically vulnerable to having emotional reactions and being ‘moody’ and reactive. The child may never actually be diagnosed with a mood disorder, but they may, nonetheless, display some similar tendencies, which can stem from the aforementioned genetic predisposition but also from observing heightened emotionality in the home. #### **A Genuine Underlying Mood disorder** A depressed child often presents as more irritable than depressed, which can then manifest in outbursts. #### **An Anxiety Disorder** A child with an anxiety disorder will often display emotion and tantrums when feeling anxious or uncomfortable, such as when encountering a new situation, going to school in the morning, or encountering an unexpected change in routine. They may have difficulty calmly expressing their anxiety, so they act out with an emotional episode. #### **An Experience of Trauma** Individuals with PTSD tend to be far more emotionally reactive. If the individual is in his or her teens or is an adult, and trauma has been evident since early childhood, then an underlying personality disorder may be developing such as Borderline Personality Disorder whose core symptom is hyper-reactivity. #### **The Autism Spectrum** Children on the autism spectrum tend to be highly emotional and reactive. This would include both low and high-functioning on the spectrum. ## Okay, So What Do You Do About Outbursts? The protocol for managing emotional reactions is as follows: - Remain calm (this means you!) - Validate - Don’t judge - Practice coping skills - Therapy/Counseling Medication Let’s look at each of these. ## 1\. Remain Calm It is paramount that you remain calm. This can’t be emphasized enough or overstated. No matter your child’s reaction, you must maintain your composure, and present yourself as calm and in control. I call it being the ‘James Bond’ of parents. No matter how harrowing the situation, Bond is always calm and even has a sense of humor; definitely worth emulating. Being “calm” means your voice volume, tone, facial expression, and bodily stance. You’ll practice your coping skills (see below) to ensure you remain calm. Clearly, two out-of-control people (you and your child) are not going to help the situation. Your job is to model calm and effective problem-solving for your child. ## 2\. Give Validation A powerful way to help somebody struggling with strong emotions is to validate their feelings. We may believe the child is overreacting but, if we want to induce a sense of calm, the first thing we do is validate those strong feelings. So, instead of saying something like “why are you getting so upset, it’s not that big a deal” (which only serves to further infuriate the child) instead we say: “I can see that it makes you really upset/sad/angry/frustrated when you lose that game… a friend says something mean to you… did not get an A+ on the exam… you have to stop playing video games…“ whatever the issue may be. Identify the feeling being conveyed and reflect that feeling. You may reflect 4-5 times before moving into practicing coping skills and then moving on to problem-solving. Validating also entails being fully ‘present’ with eye contact, remaining calm, positioning toward your child, and being fully attentive. If you move to problem-solving too soon, before the child or youth feels as though you have fully heard and understood their feelings, it will only cause frustration. It is very reassuring for any of us to feel that we’ve been heard and understood. That’s as true for you as for your child. So, instead of being frustrated by your child’s behavior, you’re going to be too busy with validating/being fully present. ## 3\. Don’t Judge It will help you to stay calm if you don’t judge your child’s behavior. Try to perceive your child’s behavior in a neutral light, with a degree of indifference. It simply ‘is what it is’. If you ‘judge’ the behavior as ‘bad’ and that your child “shouldn’t” be acting this way, then you’re not helping the situation and will only become frustrated. In fact, if your child has issues controlling their emotions, and that fact has been well-established, then who says they “shouldn’t” be acting this way? Given the circumstances, it’s likely more reasonable to believe that he, in fact, ‘should’ be acting the way he’s acting. In that light, it's your job not to judge, condemn, put down, or become emotional yourself; rather, it’s your job to remove your emotions and, as the parent, effectively manage the situation. Please note that the term “effective” is in a spectrum and may simply mean that we reduced the intensity of the outburst from a ‘10’, to an ‘8’, which may be encouraging. Similarly, not ‘judging’ also means accepting your child the way he is; accepting that he struggles with controlling emotions and that is part of his make-up, and you’re going to help him with that in a nonjudgmental and helpful way. He’s not ‘bad’; he’s just having some difficulty in a particular area. Perspective is everything – no attempt to sugarcoat anything; we’re fully accepting the reality of the situation, but the key is we’re working on **acceptance**, which begets a sense of calm, and a measured and thoughtful approach. Along the way, remind yourself that this is a process – it will not change overnight. ## 4\. Practice Coping Skills A coping skill is any strategy you use to cope with your child’s behavior, and ways we teach our kids to cope with frustration. Regarding the former, this is the part where you fill your toolbox with loads of tools you’ll use as needed. In that respect, you’ll exhaustively read the posts on [HelpForYourChild.com](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/), among other resources, and learn ways of coping for both you and your child. These coping skills will be used before, during, and after a crisis and include specific strategies, and concepts, such as: ##### Coping Skills For Overreactions and Emotional Outbursts: Practice being responsive (not reactive), and non-judgmental. Do not presume your child’s intentions. Validate their reactions by picking your battles, giving choices, and not arguing with them. Use behavioral principles such as high levels of positive reinforcement (rewards). Rewards are not “bribes” - be specific in what you want from your child and reinforce that behavior. Describe the behavior in a specific and nonjudgement way so you’re both on the same page (“upset” and “disrespectful” are vague). Look for ‘good’ behaviors and note them, using things like sticker charts, and give access to privileges when they show that good behavior more immediately (day-to-day, as opposed to week-to-week). The use of ‘contracts’ with your kiddo might be helpful. Use consistent and immediate natural consequences. Practice using intermittent reinforcement (finding the “right” reinforcer), planned ignoring, the process of ‘shaping’, using the PREMAK principle (if/then), and avoiding lengthy punishments. Practice staying calm, using deep breathing (mindful breathing), a calm-down room, relaxation techniques, consistent routine, and keeping the proper perspective including ‘this episode will pass.’ Assessing the antecedent or “trigger” for the behavior will allow you to anticipate episodes, and face them more calmly as well. Practice meditating – there are lots of different types of meditation - sometimes also referred to as ‘mindfulness’. I tend to be a proponent of meditating on calming and reassuring verses from Scripture such as “Cast all your anxieties on God, because He cares for you," 1 Peter 5:7. These coping skills, among many others that you can read about on [HelpForYourChild.com](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/), are indispensable for dealing with a child’s emotional outbursts. In addition, there are many resources I’ve recommended such as [Parenting a Child who has Intense Emotions, by Harvey & Penzo](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/parenting-a-child-who-has-intense-emotions-pat-harvey/1015607986?ean=9781572246492&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), and the ones you can learn working with your child’s behavioral therapist. ## 5\. Behavioral Therapy/Counseling Behavioral, individual, and family counseling is very important to work on coping skills and improve family communication, effective problem-solving, perspective-taking, and general problem-solving. We’re available here at [Community Psychiatric Centers](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) to begin that process. As you can see, the above section is quite a list of coping skills, but understanding those strategies and using them effectively can be challenging, so obtaining professional help is vital. ## 6\. Medication It’s clear that for more severe cases of emotionality, outbursts, or self-injurious behavior when the strategies listed above are working but not to the extent we’d prefer; medication can be very helpful. The more severe the emotional escalations, the greater the benefit of medication. Comparatively, for example, it was found that medication works much better than placebo, and many experience notable relief in their feelings of extreme emotion through the use of prescribed medications. ### And That’s a Wrap! There you have a summary of the causes of being overly emotionally reactive and the steps to help your child. I hope and trust you found this overview to be helpful. It’s typically best to obtain professional guidance in improving one’s coping skills, and we’re here at [Community Psychiatric Centers](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), welcoming the opportunity to provide such support. Feel free to email me at DrCarosso@aol.com or call 724-850-7200 to schedule. May God deeply bless you and your child. ### Ready or Not, Summer Break is Coming! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:58.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Summer Break is Fast Approaching](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#Summer%5FBreak%5Fis%5FFast%5FApproaching) - [For All the Planners](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#For%5FAll%5Fthe%5FPlanners) - - [Feeling Creative](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#Feeling%5FCreative) - [Not Everything Has to Be %E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D Over Summer Break](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#Not%5FEverything%5FHas%5Fto%5FBe%5F%E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D%5FOver%5FSummer%5FBreak) - - [Childcare Babysitting and Summer Camps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#Childcare%5FBabysitting%5Fand%5FSummer%5FCamps) - [Keeping a Daily Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#Keeping%5Fa%5FDaily%5FRoutine) - - [As the Summer Winds Down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ready-or-not-summer-break-is-coming/#As%5Fthe%5FSummer%5FWinds%5FDown) *A version of this post appeared in Spring of 2021*. ### **Summer Break is Fast Approaching** It’s May and the summer break from school will be here before ya know it. I would hate to have you awaken that fateful day in early June with the incessant “I’m bored”, or loud screaming that typically accompanies siblings being home together all day. Oh, the joys of summer. There is much to think about, and all kinds of activities to do. It can be overwhelming just trying to fit everything in the few short months before summer ends. On the other hand, it can seem like, without the schedule of classes and school activities, some kids are in a hopeless state of boredom over summer break. ## **For All the Planners** A very effective way to plan for the summer while squeezing out every drop of fun you can is to get a calendar and plan the entire summer out, week-by-week. You may have some day-long, or week-long camps; the annual summer vacation to the beach or Disney, your kid’s sporting events, a trip to Aunt Rhoda’s… Once you have those regular events scheduled, you can start getting creative. Oh, by the way, if your child has special needs, contact the Park (Disney…) they formerly provided passes to avoid long wait times. ### **Feeling Creative?** I’ll bet your family has a bucket list of fun and ‘different’ things you all would like to do, but haven’t. Often, we don’t do fun things because we don’t plan for them. So, plan the activities and get that small flower garden planted, bake some cookies, go camping in the backyard, go on that day trip to Gettysburg, project a movie on your garage door and have a homemade drive-in, do some star-gazing, start an annual neighborhood kickball tournament and, of course, can’t forget about getting a net (not a Wiffle bat) and catching lightning bugs. ## **Not Everything Has to Be “Fun”** Over Summer Break You may include some things in the summer agenda that aren’t necessarily fun but are still worthwhile. Summer is an excellent time to home your kids’ skills such as math, writing, or reading. If your child has special education services, talk to the Principal now about whether your child qualifies for Extended School Year (ESY). We also offer intensive summer online programming through [***DyslexiaTreaters.com.***](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)Teach the kiddos how to do various chores around the house (how to wash the family car…) or do a family project such as cleaning out that garage. In fact, sometimes those ‘chores’, if done together as a family, can be a bonding experience. Especially when the outcome is achieved by everyone’s hard work. If your child is on the spectrum, the summer break from school is a time you can be a bit more indulgent in your child’s obsessive interests (sharks, star wars, etc…) but only after nonpreferred is done, and don’t overindulge! Also, in the same vein, there can be a tendency to isolate and avoid social encounters; be sure to incorporate supervised social encounters into the calendar. You may find it helpful to plan trips to the zoo, local library, autism-friendly theatre, and bookstore. Also, don’t forget for all kiddos: daily running around and lots of physical activity. ### **Childcare, Babysitting, and Summer Camps** Babysitters and childcare tend to get filled up pretty quickly, so don’t delay in connecting with that local teenager who does a great job with your kids, or that daycare provider who comes highly recommended by your friends. Reserve the spots and make deposits, based on the schedule mentioned earlier. Also, start now to reserve spots for summer camps: they fill up very quickly. If your child has special needs and will be attending a therapeutic camp, call your child’s case manager for an updated list of camps, and contact your child’s psychologist to obtain a current prescription. If you want to enroll your special needs child into a typical camp or activity, and believe he’ll need individualized attention, you may be able to obtain[***IBHS (formerly ‘wraparound services’)***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/) to provide such attention. Contact their psychologist to further discuss this option. ## **Keeping a Daily Routine** Summer is time for relaxation, being laidback, and being more flexible and free-flowing. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Maintaining some semblance of routine can be helpful, especially if it involves getting past the less favored tasks (chores, academics) to move on to more fun, sun-filled activities. If your child has special needs, maintaining a consistent routine is even more important. In fact, be sure he knows about the schedule, what to expect, and answer any questions ahead of time. A picture schedule is also very helpful! ### **As the Summer Winds Down** I hate to write about the summer ending when it hasn’t even begun, but keep in mind the importance of getting more and more into a school routine as the summer comes to a close. The last week of summer should be very close to the school routine in terms of bedtime and wake-up. **Have a wonderful summer!!!** ### How We Treat ADHD URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:21.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#What%5Fis%5FADHD) - [What Is The Cause Of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#What%5FIs%5FThe%5FCause%5FOf%5FADHD) - [What Are The Types And Signs Of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#What%5FAre%5FThe%5FTypes%5FAnd%5FSigns%5FOf%5FADHD) - - - [Signs of Inattention Type ADHD Six or more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Signs%5Fof%5FInattention%5FType%5FADHD%5FSix%5For%5Fmore) - [Signs of Hyperactivity and Impulsivity Type ADHD Six or more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Signs%5Fof%5FHyperactivity%5Fand%5FImpulsivity%5FType%5FADHD%5FSix%5For%5Fmore) - [How Do We Assess For ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#How%5FDo%5FWe%5FAssess%5FFor%5FADHD) - [Is There a %E2%80%98Test For ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Is%5FThere%5Fa%5F%E2%80%98Test%5FFor%5FADHD) - [Okay So Lets Get To The Primary Focus Of This Post How Do We Treat ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Okay%5FSo%5FLets%5FGet%5FTo%5FThe%5FPrimary%5FFocus%5FOf%5FThis%5FPost%5FHow%5FDo%5FWe%5FTreat%5FADHD) - - - [Step One Structure](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Step%5FOne%5FStructure) - [Step Two Improve Coping Skills](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Step%5FTwo%5FImprove%5FCoping%5FSkills) - [Step Three Medication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Step%5FThree%5FMedication) - [Step Four Parent Education](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Step%5FFour%5FParent%5FEducation) - [Take Care Of Yourself](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Take%5FCare%5FOf%5FYourself) - - - [Managing Your Own Expectations](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Managing%5FYour%5FOwn%5FExpectations) - [Thats A Wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-adhd/#Thats%5FA%5FWrap) *We’ll continue with our ‘How We treat’ series, this time targeting ADHD. In this post, I’ll describe the nature of ADHD, how it’s diagnosed, and how it’s treated.* ## **What is ADHD?** ADHD is considered to be of disorder of the pre-frontal cortex, which is the most advanced part of our brain, and a subsequent deficiency in the executive functions. In that respect, the pre-frontal cortex of the brain is responsible for vital tasks including attention, emotional control, working memory, organizing, planning, shifting attention and mental flexibility, impulse control, and time management. I’ve written a prior post describing, in more detail, the aspects of these executive functions: [***ADHD: What’s Executive Functioning Got To Do With It?***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/) And more about the connection between the executive function of ‘emotional control’ and ADHD: [***ADHD & Executive Functions: Emotional Control!***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/) It is hypothesized that in those with ADHD, areas of the pre-frontal cortex are not working to their fullest potential, and the subsequent executive functions tend to be lacking. ## **What Is The Cause Of ADHD?** It is recognized that people are born with ADHD and the cause is primarily genetic. In that respect, ADHD tends to run in families. However, there are other potential causes including head/brain injury, exposure to drugs/toxins/heavy metals (including and especially in-utero), premature delivery, and low birth weight. ## **What Are The Types And Signs Of ADHD?** There are three different types of ADHD and each is rather self-explanatory: Hyperactive/Impulsive Type, Inattentive Type, and Combined Type. Here are the diagnostic criteria: #### **Signs of Inattention Type ADHD**: **Six or more:** - failing to pay close attention to details or making careless mistakes - problems sustaining attention in tasks or play activities - often not appearing to listen - having trouble following through with directives or fails to finish tasks - being less than well-organized and poor time management - reluctant to engage in tasks requiring sustained mental effort - losing things - being easily distracted by extraneous stimuli - forgetful #### **Signs of Hyperactivity and Impulsivity** **Type ADHD:**Six or more: - being fidgety or taps hands, squirmy - often leaves their seat when remaining seated is expected - often runs or climbs when not appropriate to do so - Unable to play quietly - moving around excessively and always being ‘on the go’ - talking excessively - blurts out answers - having problems waiting for turns - having a tendency to interrupt and intrude at times *These signs need to be seen before 12 years of age and notably impact a person’s life.* ## **How Do We Assess For ADHD?** The evaluation process is comprehensive; I’ve explained the specifics in prior posts: [***How is ADHD Diagnosed? (and is it over-diagnosed?)***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-is-adhd-diagnosed-and-is-it-over-diagnosed/) The process includes assessing for the signs and symptoms that have been observed over a long period, in multiple settings, that the condition is getting in the way of the child’s life, and the signs are not better explained by another ailment. We also look for genetic predisposition. ## **Is There a ‘Test’ For ADHD**? There is no blood test or medical work-up, except to rule out a medical cause. There are diagnostic tests that include various tasks that measure the extent of attention, concentration, impulsivity, hyper-reactivity, and delay in response. These tests are vulnerable to a false negative when the individual performs well on the assessment, but are quite helpful in providing additional evidence for ADHD when the assessment results suggest there is a problem. ## **Okay, So Let’s Get To The Primary Focus Of This Post: How Do We Treat ADHD?** #### **Step One: Structure!** I’ve written a lot about structure, including the following post: [***What is “Structure” and What Does it Look Like?***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/) It’s clear that structure is vital in helping your child with ADHD function to their fullest potential. Of course, our goal is to decrease the amount of structure necessary over time and increase your child’s ability to accomplish tasks on their own. That is a slow-but-steady process but key to helping your child independently accomplish daily tasks. #### **Step Two: Improve Coping Skills** It’s important to teach your child coping skills so they can self-monitor and adjust their behavior based on their circumstances. Children can learn to use visual reminders, lists, and timers. A consistent schedule and daily routine are important aspects of structure, and routine can become habitual and therefore be internalized and function as a coping strategy. Your kiddo can also come to recognize times and situations when they are more vulnerable to distractibility, such as an especially boring class, or when they are tired or hungry, and learn how to find the drive, and use effective strategies, to work-through those situations. #### **Step Three: Medication** There may be some hesitancy to consider medication, with parents being concerned whether the medication will have negative side effects, or be effective. Well, in terms of the latter, I’ve written quite a bit, and here is a relevant post in that respect: [***Is ADHD Treatment Effective?***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/) Yes, there may be side effects, such as loss of appetite, and such can be closely monitored by the prescribing physician with adjustments made, as necessary, to the dose and type of medication being prescribed. Most children tolerate the medication quite well. #### **Step Four: Parent Education** A primary aspect of any therapy is talking with parents about structure and, in that respect, those situations when it’s better to lovingly stay in close proximity and guide the child through any given task, and when to set limits and use consequences. Parents often feel bad about punishing their child for something that is not in their control; making that distinction is an important part of effectively managing a child with ADHD. Sometimes it’s a gut feeling that your child is simply ignoring you rather than being genuinely distracted, but we try to make informed decisions based on experience, the current situation, the complexity of the task, and your child’s mood and disposition at the time. ## **Take Care Of Yourself** Parents often blame themselves for their child’s behavioral difficulties. You may do the same and lament that, if you were properly parenting, your child would not have these difficulties. However, it’s important to understand that, in these circumstances, you have your hands full; the situation is genuinely challenging and the traditional behavior management approaches often don’t work so well. If they did work, you wouldn’t be seeking help. So, take a deep breath, don’t be so hard on yourself, and realize that your job, at this point, is to delve into the learning process on how to effectively parent your child with ADHD. It’s a trial-and-error approach, far more hands-on, and such can be stressful. #### Managing Your Own Expectations Note that frustration is based on expectations; if you have the proper expectations - you won’t get as frustrated. I don’t want you to lower your expectations, just make them more realistic for the current situation. If you expect that your 8-year-old child will independently follow your first directive that involves stopping a favored activity, walking across the room, cleaning up a big mess that involves putting a bin full of toys away, then taking some clothes to his room, and then coming to dinner, you likely will get frustrated when that does not transpire. We may start a bit less ambitiously and break down the task into smaller chunks. Stay in closer proximity, praise along the way, maybe step in and help when you see your child losing focus, and keep prompting along the way. The expectation is that, over time, you’ll be able to back off but, in the meantime, oversight likely will be necessary. It’s not so bad; someday your child will be grown and leave the home – and you’ll miss him; here’s your chance to spend time with him and build that relationship. It’s important to take a few deep breaths, remind yourself of these aspects cited above, and maybe even recite some Scripture that, for many, is a vital source of peace and strength. Verses such as Philippians, 4:13, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” can literally be a God-send. ## **That’s A Wrap**! Okay, that provides an overview of the ways we effectively treat ADHD. I hope you found the information helpful – don’t hesitate to reach out at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) with any questions. In the meantime, happy parenting! ### Easter And The Power of Hope URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:48.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Vital Nature of Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/#The%5FVital%5FNature%5Fof%5FHope) - [Hope and Resilience](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/#Hope%5Fand%5FResilience) - [Hope and Managing Challenges](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/#Hope%5Fand%5FManaging%5FChallenges) - [Easter and Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/#Easter%5Fand%5FHope) - [Tap Into This Hope](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/easter-and-the-power-of-hope/#Tap%5FInto%5FThis%5FHope) ## **The Vital Nature of Hope** *“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all”.* \- Emily Dickinson. It’s hard to overstate the importance of hope. The more hope, the stronger the drive, and it doesn’t dare to ever stop, nor even feel the need to. Hope drives everything in our lives from completing daily tasks to reaching our goals, dreams, and ambitions. It is the fuel that carries us over the ridge and up the mountain. Hope is the light that carries us through the darkest of impasses. Laina Taylor described that “*hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic*.” ## **Hope and Resilience** It’s well-established in the research that hope is the foundation of a person’s resilience and ability to experience struggle and strife without giving in. Often, the best predictor of whether a person will commit self-harm is not a troubling situation or sadness, not even if they feel [***depressed***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/). No, the best predictor is a lack of hope. If we instill hope, we instill life; the more hope - the more zeal for life. As it has been said, “*hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers*” - Robert Ingersoll. ## **Hope and Managing Challenges** “*Hope is a verb with its shirtsleeves rolled up*” - David Orr. We all face tough times, challenges, and situations that seem daunting. We may be facing a major obstacle, but it’s far more manageable if we have hope of a positive outcome. Or we hope that, slowly but surely and step-by-step, we can make a positive impact and move the ball forward. Hope makes all the difference! We see its power during such difficult times. “*Hope is like a star – not seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity*”. - Charles Haddon Spurgeon ## **Easter and Hope** Christians celebrate this time of the year – Easter (also known as Resurrection Day) as the holiest of our holy days. Clearly, if not for Easter and the resurrection, there would be no Christianity. Easter represents the essence of hope, especially hope in the time of darkness. Through Christ, and the overcoming power of Easter, we have hope for the forgiveness of our sins, power over the carnal, and faith that we can overcome and be triumphant, just as Christ. As Christians, this hope is a gift. As Jeremiah tells us “*For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future*”. Yes, it’s a gift, but this hope is also *instilled* within us, as Paul writes in Romans: *“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirt*”. Easter reflects that hope, with faith, is the most important of the Christian virtues. ## **Tap Into This Hope** We gain hope through our celebration of Easter; moreover, God gives us resources that too can instill hope. It’s always my goal, and the goal of everyone at [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), to instill hope by educating and providing guidance on how to manage emotions, calm thoughts, and effectively redirect challenging behaviors. I invite you to tap into these resources that can make your life, and that of your child, far more meaningful, hopeful, and successful. If you need any guidance in that respect, feel free to email me at [***DrCarosso@aol.com***](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com)***.*** May God deeply bless you and your family and instill a full measure of hope during this most sacred of Christian holidays. ### How We Treat Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-treat-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:26.000Z Effective autism treatment is not one-size-fits-all. It requires a careful evaluation of the individual's profile, including their cognitive strengths, communication style, sensory sensitivities, and co-occurring conditions. At Autism Centers of Pittsburgh is a dedicated practice built specifically to serve individuals and families affected by autism spectrum disorder. ACP's clinical approach integrates diagnostic evaluation, ABA therapy, behavioral support, and psychiatric services where needed - all coordinated under one clinical umbrella. Whether your child is newly diagnosed or you're seeking a second opinion, ACP's team is equipped to help. Visit our evaluations and services page to understand the full scope of what we offer and how to get started. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How to Treat Your Child’s Depression & Anxiety URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:36.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Causes Depression and Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#What%5FCauses%5FDepression%5Fand%5FAnxiety) - [Okay So What Are the Best Treatment Strategies for Depression and Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#Okay%5FSo%5FWhat%5FAre%5Fthe%5FBest%5FTreatment%5FStrategies%5Ffor%5FDepression%5Fand%5FAnxiety) - - [What a Person is Thinking](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#What%5Fa%5FPerson%5Fis%5FThinking) - [What a Person is Doing](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#What%5Fa%5FPerson%5Fis%5FDoing) - [Exercise and Nutrition](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#Exercise%5Fand%5FNutrition) - [How We Breathe](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#How%5FWe%5FBreathe) - [Validation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#Validation) - [Connection With God](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#Connection%5FWith%5FGod) - [Medication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#Medication) - - [And Thats a Wrap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-your-childs-depression-and-anxiety/#And%5FThats%5Fa%5FWrap) As one would expect given my occupation, I’m often approached by teens and their parents, about feelings of depression and [anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-anxiety-and-obsessions-nothing-to-fear-but-fear-itself/). It’s troubling to see a child or adolescent struggling, but it’s uplifting to know that there are practical and very effective strategies to improve the situation. Let’s review them today. 😊 ## **What Causes Depression and Anxiety?** First, Let's review what causes depression and bouts of anxiety. This is a complicated topic, but we can simplify it: there are two reasons – situational and genetic. ***Situational:*** in terms of depression, there is a situation, or a series of events, that leads to a loss in a child or youth’s life and this loss contributes to feelings of depression. This could be a loss of a loved one, a relationship, or self-worth, among other things. In terms of anxiety, there are situations the person finds anxiety-provoking, which could be anything from problems that would be seen by anyone as problematic, to mundane events that, nevertheless, are anxiety-provoking. ***Genetic:*** in this instance, depression, mood disorders, or anxiety run in the family, and the child or youth is subsequently vulnerable or predisposed to having issues with his or her mood. The depression or anxiety usually surfaces during a time of stress, which takes us back to the ‘situational’ element cited above. However, more notably, regarding a depression or anxiety that is considered genetic in nature, the condition manifests ‘out of the blue’ and often without an observable cause. Depression and generalized anxiety can persist for days, weeks, or even longer. However, acute panic attacks only last a few minutes. **Bio-Chemical:** you may hear that depression or anxiety is caused by a ‘bio-chemical imbalance’. Here’s a brief overview of that theory: there is research suggesting that the manipulation of specific neurotransmitters can improve depression and anxiety, hence, anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medications. However, there is ongoing debate about which came first; an imbalance, the genetic vulnerability, or the negative situation? Also, is it really an “imbalance”, or does the person simply feel better when serotonin levels are increased? Moreover, we really don’t know what’s the optimal ‘balance’ of neurotransmitters for any given person. All we know is that, for some people, increasing the abundance of certain neurotransmitters makes them feel better. ## **Okay, So What Are the Best Treatment Strategies for Depression and Anxiety?** The protocol for treating depression or anxiety targets the following: - what a person thinks - what a person is does - Nutrition, and if the person is active - how we breathe - how we validate - a person’s connection with God - medication Let’s look at each of these. ### **What a Person is Thinking** You’ve probably heard of ‘cognitive-behavioral therapy’, considered to be the clinical standard-of-care for depression and anxiety. The first word, ‘cognitive’, refers to what we think. Moreover, people who struggle with depression and anxiety tend to have depressing and anxiety-provoking thoughts; lots of ‘what-if’s’, catastrophizing, perceiving one minor set-back as generalized failure, and so-on. The remedy is to attack one’s thoughts and replace such maladaptive thinking with more accurate and healthy self-talk. We can do that in lots of ways. A therapist can help to bolster healthy-thinking and, at home, we can, for example, post notes with lists of healthy thinking on the bedroom wall to remind of the successes in the child’s or youth’s life as evidence to support the notion that “I got this!!” in terms of managing whatever problem may arise. ### **What a Person is Doing** The second part of ‘cognitive-behavioral’, the ‘behavioral’ part, refers to what a person does or how they behave. So, with that in mind, we alter how we act. The subsequent strategies in this category are endless and could involve simply getting out bed, attending to our grooming and hygiene, hanging out with good friends, joining a club, going to church, or going for a walk. This step involves doing the exact opposite of whatever the depression or anxiety is telling us to do. The positive impact of ‘doing’ is also greatly enhanced by ‘doing’ for other people. In that respect, there is nothing more edifying than to ‘get out of our own head’ and help others. This could involve reading stories to younger kids, visiting a nursing home, volunteering at an animal shelter, or whatever floats your boat. ### **Exercise and Nutrition** I suppose this aspect falls in the ‘doing’ category, but I’ll present it separately. In that regard, we’re referring to taking care of our body. If we don’t eat right, and exercise, we’re going to feel bad. Moreover, the research is abundantly clear that remaining active, and even moving into elevated aerobic pace, is a wonderful antidote to anxiety and depression. ### **How We Breathe** You might be confused: why am I including ‘breathing’ on this list? Of course, breathing is fundamental to life, and tends to cause us problems as we begin to feel stressed. In fact, a primary symptom of a panic attack is disturbed breathing, or what’s sometimes called ‘hyper-ventilating’. Surprisingly and interestingly, when we control our breathing, we control how we feel. The regimen is called ***‘mindful-breathing’***, and here’s how it looks: 1. We breathe in through our nose. Very deep breath - takes 3-4 seconds to completely breathe in 2. Once we inhale completely through our nose, hold that breath for 2 seconds 3. Breathe out through the mouth, very slowly and completely 4. Once completely exhaled, hold for 2 seconds 5. Then breathe-in again through the nose, repeating the process four times. You’ll find mindful breathing to be very calming; it *slows things down* and it’s like rebooting a computer. Mindful breathing is very powerful and can be accompanied by closing one's eyes and imagining oneself in a peaceful and pleasant place. With practice, you can become better at mindful breathing and more quickly move into a deeper state of relaxation. Mindful breathing can be done in-the-moment of experiencing anxiety or done throughout the day to lower baseline anxiety. Give it a try! ### **Validation** A powerful way to help somebody struggling with strong feelings is to validate those feelings. We may believe the child or youth is overreacting but, if we want to help the person to calm down, the first thing we do is validate those strong feelings. So, instead of saying something like “why are you getting so upset, it’s not that big a deal” (which only serves to further infuriate the child or youth) instead we say “I can see that it makes you really upset (sad, angry, frustrated…) when you lose that game… a friend says something mean to you… did not get an A+ on the exam… you have to stop playing video games… “ whatever the issue may be. Find the feeling being conveyed and reflect that feeling. You may reflect 4-5 times before moving into problem-solving. If you move on to problem-solving too soon, before the child or youth feels as though you have fully heard and understand their feelings, it will only cause frustration as a result. In that respect, it is very calming and reassuring for any of us to feel that we’ve been heard, and that the person is on-the-same-page as us. That’s as true for you as for your child. ### **Connection With God** We are, by our very nature, spiritual beings. Upwards of 90% of people around the world believes in a higher power; there are over two billion Christians, just under two billion Muslims, almost 20 million Jews, over a billion Hindus, and 84 million Buddhists. Any number of research findings and even a recent meta-analysis that included 48 longitudinal studies show that spirituality is significantly associated with positive mental health outcomes. The research is clear, those who consider their walk with God as an important aspect of their lives have far lower rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, substance abuse, and have greater self-control, self-awareness, empathy, concern for others as opposed to preoccupation with one’s-self, and an enhanced sense of comfort and calm. Of course, this makes sense. When you have an all-knowing, all-powerful God who is by your side and in your corner, well, that’s kind of reassuring. I am a Christian, so that’s my frame-of-reference. In the Christian walk, God is more than just ‘in your corner’; you become an actual adopted child of God and His Spirit is inside you, changing you from the inside-out. As it’s written in 2nd Corinthians, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has passed away; *behold, all things have become new*”. The ‘new’ is different from our old self and our old ways of thinking and doing; instead, we become increasingly free from sin, but also free from our fears and sadness. Of course, it’s not that we don’t experience tough times as a Christian (we still live in the same corrupt and difficult world), but we have a different perspective and inner-power to better-manage those tough times. I wrote above about the ‘cognitive’ strategy of reminding about positives and strengths in a child’s life; this is where memorizing scripture becomes super calming and comforting, such as “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, in whom I take refuge” Psalm 18:2\. If you’re not sure where to start, I’d suggest a church youth group, or children’s ministry for your youth or child. It gets them involved and active in a structured and uplifting environment. ### **Medication** It’s clear that for more severe cases of depression and anxiety, when the strategies listed above are working but not to the extent we’d prefer; medication can be very helpful. The more severe the depression and anxiety, the greater the benefit of medication. Comparatively, for example, it was found that medication works much better than placebo and many experience notable relief in their feelings of depression and anxiety through the use of prescribed medications. #### **And That’s a Wrap!** There you have a summary of the strategies to effectively treat depression and anxiety. I hope and trust you found this overview to be helpful. It’s typically best to obtain professional guidance in walking through these steps, and all of here at [*Community Psychiatric Centers*](http://cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) would welcome the opportunity to provide such support. Feel free to email me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) or call 724-850-7200 to schedule. May God deeply bless you and your kids. ### The Behavioral Therapist Detective: Here’s How We Solve the Case URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:00.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [How It Starts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#How%5FIt%5FStarts) - [To Help We Become Detectives](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#To%5FHelp%5FWe%5FBecome%5FDetectives) - - [What Do We Need to Know](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#What%5FDo%5FWe%5FNeed%5Fto%5FKnow) - [As With Any Good Detective We Need to Determine %E2%80%98Why](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#As%5FWith%5FAny%5FGood%5FDetective%5FWe%5FNeed%5Fto%5FDetermine%5F%E2%80%98Why) - - [How or Whats Been Tried to Alleviate the Behavior](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#How%5For%5FWhats%5FBeen%5FTried%5Fto%5FAlleviate%5Fthe%5FBehavior) - [The Behavioral Therapists Role](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#The%5FBehavioral%5FTherapists%5FRole) - [Diagnosis Plays a Part](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#Diagnosis%5FPlays%5Fa%5FPart) - - - [Experimentation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#Experimentation) - [So How Does the Detective Process Relate to You as the Parent](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#So%5FHow%5FDoes%5Fthe%5FDetective%5FProcess%5FRelate%5Fto%5FYou%5Fas%5Fthe%5FParent) - [Detective Wrap-up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-behavioral-therapist-detective-heres-how-we-solve-the-case/#Detective%5FWrap-up) ### **How It Starts**... I regularly get questions from parents about how to manage their child’s behavior. We welcome such questions and look forward to working with parents to help improve the situation. I might hear something like, “my child is having lots of tantrums and is really hard to manage” or “my child won’t do anything I ask!” These are, in fact, difficult situations and worth reaching out to somebody like me for answers. I believe I can speak for all the therapists at [***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/psychiatriccenters/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) when I convey that this is our job. This is what we do, so we welcome the opportunity to help children control their impulses and parents feel more confident in managing their kids. ## **To Help, We Become Detectives** As the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, often exclaimed, “you know my methods, Watson." Yes, Behavioral Therapists have methods too, and they begin similarly: gathering clues (i.e. information), which we call collecting 'data.' We can’t get enough data or clues, and the clues can’t be too specific. So, we may drive you crazy by asking lots and lots of questions. Not to mix characters, but another famous detective, Jack Webb, was known to say “just the facts, Ma’am." We’re the same way - the more facts we have, the better we’ll be able to help. We want lots of facts, then we’ll put those pieces together to solve the case, so to speak. To the extent that if we don’t have adequate facts we are feeling our way in the dark. Therefore, we are not using the most effective strategies, wasting valuable time, and it’s a whole lot harder to ‘solve the case.’ ### **What Do We Need to Know?** To help develop effective strategies for your child, there are various factors or aspects, we need to consider. It all starts with these three. They are considered the cornerstone of our detective work to determine the ‘what’ of the behavior: - Frequency - Intensity - Duration We need to know as much as possible about each of these aspects. They would include how often the behavior occurs, how intense is it (what it looks like), and how long it lasts. If we know those three things, we’re well on our way to knowing the ‘what’ of the behavior. ## **As With Any Good Detective, We Need to Determine ‘Why?’** Now that we know the ‘what’ of the behavior, to gain some insight into ‘why’ the behavior is occurring, we ask: - How long has the behavior been going on? - What is the trigger for the behavior? - Is there any pattern or predictability for the behavior? Once we have these questions answered, we’ll have a much better understanding of why the behavior manifests. We’d learn, for example, whether there is a predictable event or person that tends to trigger the tantrum. If the tantrum occurs every time or only at certain times of the day or in specific situations? Has this been going on for years, or only the past few weeks? Does the tantrum occur 5x per day, or once per week? Does the tantrum persist for one minute or 30 minutes? Is the behavior very intense with subsequent destruction of property, or only mild emotion and sobbing? When does the tantrum *not* occur? ### 'How?' or **What’s Been Tried to Alleviate the Behavior?** Next, we need to know the ‘how?’ We need to know what’s been tried, and what each intervention ‘looks like.’ For example, if we hear that you’re utilizing time-out, we’d need to know precisely how time-out is used. Same for loss of privilege, ignoring the misbehavior, or trying to talk to the child and problem-solve. Knowing the specifics is vital since there are, for example, dozens of ways to implement time-out. Regarding predictability or a pattern of behavior, we often find there are two or three specific situations that are proving to be difficult, such as the morning routine, or bedtime, or specific chores. So, we’ll break down each of those situations accordingly to get these questions answered. Once we know the answers to these questions, it’s simply “elementary” as quoted from our friend, Detective Sherlock Holmes, to fit the pieces together and determine more effective ways of intervening. ## **The Behavioral Therapist's Role** It’s important to note that entire chapters can be written about each of these facts, or clues (i.e. frequency, intensity, duration, triggers, predictability…), and the answers help to drive the planning of specific strategies. This reflects the complicated job of a detective, er, I mean a Behavioral Therapist. There is a lot of data to gather and analyze from which to determine a game plan. It takes training and experience to effectively pull it all together. There are many famous detectives who are fun to watch as they gather evidence and solve the case (maladaptive behavior). This is dating myself, but we can recall the aforementioned Sherlock and Webb, and who can forget Columbo, Marlowe, Reacher, Perry Mason (okay, so Mason was not a detective, and Reacher wasn’t either, but they sure could solve the case). A behavioral therapist’s job is no less fun and challenging in gathering all the information and ultimately putting the pieces of the puzzle together. However, in our situation, given that kids and situations are ever-changing, the solving of the ‘case’ is also an evolving process and does not always involve a one-time concluding event. In that respect, when working with a behavioral therapist at[***Community Psychiatric Centers***](http://cpcwecare.com/psychiatriccenters/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)***,*** it's not as simple as Professor Plum using the candlestick in the library. Actually, before writing this post, I didn’t realize the abundance of detective references; we sure enjoy solving mysteries, don’t we? In any case, our Behavioral Therapists will continue to monitor the situation and modify the plan as things evolve. ## **Diagnosis Plays a Part** Our Behavioral Therapists will recommend effective intervention strategies that may focus on the trigger (modifying the approach to the child) or the behavior (finding an effective consequence). Not to complicate the matter even further, but a child’s diagnosis also comes into play. When a child has[***autism***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-treat-mild-autism-part-1/)*,* we may focus more on the triggers, and modify how we approach the child. Alternatively, we may focus more on consequences for a neuro-typical child who tends to be oppositional. #### **Experimentation?** Yep. After we gather the information, we come up with some hypotheses regarding what is fueling the problematic behavior, and the best ways to intervene. Next, we experiment with some different approaches to test the hypotheses. ### **So How Does the Detective Process Relate to You, as the Parent?** The same pieces of data that help us, also help you. The more aspects you’re aware of, the better you’ll be able to provide this information to a behavioral therapist and also use that information yourself to make more informed decisions on how to manage your child. Think of it this way: say you notice that your child tends to get emotional and tantrum daily. These last for approximately 5 minutes. The tantrums happen upwards of 3/5 days per week, directly after school when redirected from playing a game to doing homework, especially if there is math homework. Okay, so this is an easy one, and pretty ‘elementary’, but it makes a good point. Having this information is vital to experiment with some different approaches based on your hypothesis. These experiments may include modifying the trigger by changing the time of homework (later in the afternoon), working with the teacher to modify the math homework (so the harder math work is completed in the classroom), helping to improve your child’s math skills so they are less math-averse, beginning homework with any subject besides math (using what’s called ‘behavioral momentum to get the math done), or talking with your child to see how they want to handle this conundrum and see if they have any good ideas. You can also deal directly with the behavior by using a sticker chart for homework completion to increase motivation, or taking away computer time if your child tantrums. So, there are lots of options, but all these options are based on the evidence you’ve gathered as a parent-detective. ## Detective **Wrap-up** I hope this post has helped to uncover the clues necessary for effective behavior management. We reviewed the importance of the following steps: 1. Identifying a ***trigger*** for a misbehavior 2. Determining the ***frequency*** of the misbehavior 3. Noting the ***intensity*** of the misbehavior 4. Timing how long it lasts, or the ***duration*** 5. Assessing if there is any ***predictability*** or ***pattern*** to the behavior 6. Journaling ***what’s been tried*** 7. Noting ***how*** it has been tried 8. Develop a ***hypothesis*** as to what’s fueling the behavior problem 9. ***Test*** the hypothesis with different approaches As you gain comfort and confidence in collecting these clues, you’ll find yourself becoming an increasingly effective and efficient parent-detective. You will be able to make the necessary adjustments to manage whatever behavioral problem comes your way. However, it’s always helpful to get professional assistance, from a trained and experienced behavioral therapist-detective, who can guide you along the way. Feel free to contact me in that respect at [***DrC@cpcwecare.com***](mailto:DrC@cpcwecare.com)***.*** Happy detecting!! ### The Christmas Gift of Faith: What Role Does it Play? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:05.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [What Im Expected to Do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/#What%5FIm%5FExpected%5Fto%5FDo%E2%80%A6) - [Is There More](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/#Is%5FThere%5FMore) - [Seems Only Fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/#Seems%5FOnly%5FFitting) - - [Tap Into the Source of Faith](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/#Tap%5FInto%5Fthe%5FSource%5Fof%5FFaith) - - [This Christmas may your family be blessed and may you share your Faith with your kiddos to celebrate the season](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-christmas-gift-of-faith-what-role-does-it-play/#This%5FChristmas%5Fmay%5Fyour%5Ffamily%5Fbe%5Fblessed%5Fand%5Fmay%5Fyou%5Fshare%5Fyour%5FFaith%5Fwith%5Fyour%5Fkiddos%5Fto%5Fcelebrate%5Fthe%5Fseason) ***Sharing this post is one of my favorite traditions. This Christmas blog post was first put up the*** [***HelpForYourChild.com***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/) ***back in 2012***. ***It has been helping families recognize the role Faith plays in helping families and childhood difficulties.*** #### **What I’m Expected to Do…** As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in the moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). ## **Is There More?** Well, yes there is. Help for your child is sometimes more than just a clinical approach. I’m usually not expected to discuss spirituality but, sometimes, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have access to a large lifeboat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ## **Seems Only Fitting** During Christmas, it's good to remember that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves. And in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ### **Tap Into the Source** of Faith Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? #### **This Christmas, may your family be blessed, and may you share your Faith with your kiddos to celebrate the season.** ### Merry and Bright: How to Handle Your Child’s Behavior On Holiday Outings URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:47.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Some Tips for Successful Holiday Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Some%5FTips%5Ffor%5FSuccessful%5FHoliday%5FOutings) - - - [1 Start Small](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#1%5FStart%5FSmall) - [2 Agree on %E2%80%98Rules Before Leaving](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#2%5FAgree%5Fon%5F%E2%80%98Rules%5FBefore%5FLeaving) - [3 Make the Schedule Clear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#3%5FMake%5Fthe%5FSchedule%5FClear) - [4 Provide Simple Direction on How to Behave Well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#4%5FProvide%5FSimple%5FDirection%5Fon%5FHow%5Fto%5FBehave%5FWell) - [5 Get Your Child Involved](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#5%5FGet%5FYour%5FChild%5FInvolved) - [6 Avoid a Meltdown](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#6%5FAvoid%5Fa%5FMeltdown) - [7 Prepare Plan Practice](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#7%5FPrepare%5FPlan%5FPractice) - [Reducing Overstimulation on Your Holiday Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Reducing%5FOverstimulation%5Fon%5FYour%5FHoliday%5FOutings) - [Watch Out for Problem Behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Watch%5FOut%5Ffor%5FProblem%5FBehaviors) - [Managing Holiday Outings Behavioral Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Managing%5FHoliday%5FOutings%5FBehavioral%5FApproaches) - [Distract and Redirect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Distract%5Fand%5FRedirect) - [Dealing with Others Judgements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Dealing%5Fwith%5FOthers%5FJudgements) - [Safety First on Holiday Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/merry-and-bright-how-to-handle-your-childs-behavior-on-holiday-outings/#Safety%5FFirst%5Fon%5FHoliday%5FOutings) The holiday season often includes busy public outings with your child. These can be quite tricky and challenging! Children sometimes find the new environment, whether it be a store or a crowded holiday event, to be over-stimulating. They try to carry out the outing ‘on their terms’ rather than on yours. However, if you make a plan in advance, there are some strategies to improve the situation and make the outing more pleasant. ## **Some Tips for Successful Holiday Outings:** #### **1\. Start Small** Just like anything else, behavior in public is a skill that is learned over time. Role-play at home (set-up a mock store or restaurant). Start with short stints, then increase exposure. Quick daily outings (in and out, but longer over time) are better than long trips at first. For example: a brief trip to a local deli, then to a restaurant… #### **2\. Agree on ‘Rules’ Before Leaving** Outline an explanation of where you are going, expectations for behavior, and the rewards (or consequences) if things go well, or not so well. Make sure your child understands what your (achievable) expectations are. #### **3\. Make the Schedule Clear:** What will happen during the trip, where you’ll be going, what they will do (park, walk, go to a particular store, ride in a cart, take a snack break, meet new people…) and how long it will take? Show photos ahead of time of where you’re going, if possible. Remind them of what part you are at during the excursion, and what comes next. A picture schedule can be very helpful. #### **4\. Provide Simple Direction on How to Behave Well:** Holding an adult’s hand, staying close, etc. Frequently tell them how they’re doing and offer tons of praise and give little tokens for good behavior whenever you see good behavior, or every so often during the outing. They can trade in the tokens for desired items. #### **5\. Get Your Child Involved** Ask questions! If shopping, your child can help find items – keep them occupied. You can even give them money to make purchases. Bring along favorite toys, food, or familiar item. Have them help plan out the day with you when you put together the outing. #### **6\. Avoid a Meltdown** Limit how often, length, and where you shop depending on your child’s tolerance level. Keep trips short, take breaks, and use a stroller. Make sure they are not tired or hungry (either of you). Be careful of your attitude and fatigue (keep upbeat, happy…). Take along a wish list. If he sees something he can’t have, add it to a wishlist. Share enthusiasm for desired items. Try to avoid tempting places, or keep in small doses. #### **7\. Prepare, Plan, Practice!** Sometimes it can feel frustrating, especially if the outings are to somewhere with challenging distractions. Develop ‘Social Stories’ about public outings, and encourage your child’s involvement with the process. Try to prepare with a visual schedule well in advance. Go at off-hours (6-7 PM or early in the AM, or early in the week). Know the store/destination layout in advance (bathrooms, exit, food, water fountain, babysitting, fire extinguishers (that was a joke)…). If possible, have another adult with you, especially if taking multiple kiddos. In certain situations, you can ask a psychologist to prescribe accommodations at a holiday event or similar destination. ## **Reducing Overstimulation on Your Holiday Outings** Many children find even busy stores to be stimulating, if not over-stimulating. Here are some things to think about if your child tends to get overwhelmed in some environments: - Some places are simply too overloading for some children (the Mall…) - Physical overstimulation of crowds: brushing and compression. Avoid long lines, large crowds, noisy environments - Take breaks or do shorter stints - Noise-Reducing headphones may help - Redirect to details (refocusing on specific items or areas of the store helps to squelch child feeling overwhelmed by the surroundings) - Deep breaths; count to ten - Don’t push the limits. At times it’s best to simply not take your child ## **Watch Out for Problem Behaviors** Problem behaviors can be a form of communication. Note the triggers, problem areas, and anything that makes it predictable. If you can predict it, you can prevent it! Some issues to look out for are boredom, overstimulation**,** hunger**,** and fatigue (it’s tough for those little legs to keep up). ## **Managing Holiday Outings: Behavioral Approaches** Behavior management is the key; remain consistent and remember that what works at home, will often work in public as well. Try to be consistent with behavior management in all settings (between home, school, community). Reinforce good behavior (you get what you praise, and be specific in that praise). When misbehavior occurs, intervene and make eye contact as soon as it happens, and then redirect to replacement behavior. Use time-outs in the store, or take a break outside. Avoid losing your cool. A time out does not need to be a “punishment” but, rather a quiet moment outside the store to calm. ## **Distract and Redirect** Here are some tricks to effectively redirect your child to what you want him/her to do, rather than what you don’t want: - Tell them what to do, not what not to do - 1-2-3 Magic - Have a plan ahead of time, and always have a Plan B! - Remove your child to a private place to discipline - Give choices (stand beside me or stop at the end of the aisle) - Get eye contact before giving a direction - Make a game of shopping (What item is in the yellow box; I spy) - Stores are like oversized classrooms that just happen to sell things. Make a trip a learning opportunity. This strategy also helps to keep the child busy and keeps their attention. - Count the number of items you need - Find the items based on color or size - Make a list at home, and have the child help find the items - Name everything in the cart, how they can be used, where they came from - Use all senses; notice smells, texture, differences in color - Older children can help with checkout, request paper or plastic, give coupons… ## **Dealing with Other’s Judgements** Sometimes, when you are in a public place with your child, people find it necessary to put in their ‘two cents’; especially if your child has a learning or behavioral difficulty. Here are some ways to deal with that frustration: - Autism Awareness Cards (explains autism and how to be supportive) - “My child is autistic, what’s your problem?” - T-shirt: I have autism; be nice to my Mom - Find some merit in their complaint (child making noise in a restaurant…) - Keep it in perspective (all kids freak out sometimes in stores; it’s kinda funny sometimes) - Simply ignore them ## **Safety First on Holiday Outings** It’s important to stay safe while having fun excursions together. It’s important to remember snacks and warm clothing, but what else? - Never leave your child alone unsupervised in a car - Consider a name tag - Some parents have success using a harness and tethering device (“leash”) that can be used in more extreme situations where safety is an issue. However, it is important to ‘phase’ out the leash for increasing periods while using high levels of positive reinforcement, ie: praise, stickers…. - It might be beneficial to have a Service K-9, if possible - Investigate and prepare ahead of time - Have a plan in case you get separated, and practice it! - Keep your child close (hold hands, or steer the cart, or hang onto the cart) I hope these tips prove to be helpful and keep your outings merry. Happy Holidays!! ### Video: Preparing Your Child for the Holidays URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-preparing-your-child-for-christmas-and-the-holidays-this-season/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:37.000Z The holidays are a wonderful time of year. There are so many fun and festive opportunities to get together to celebrate the season with your family or community. It’s no wonder it’s the favorite time of year for most children. But for parents of kiddos struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as anxiety, ADHD, or Autism, the holidays can be an extra stressful time. Anything from gift shopping, to crowds, to the sensory overload of decorations, to changes in schedule and disruption of school routines can make an overwhelmed kiddo miserable. My classic *Dr. C's Morning Minute Special* below helps talk through how to prepare your child for the challenges you might face. My tips are presented in an easy-to-follow video format. You can also read more about what you can do on my blog [***here.***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-child-for-the-christmas-holiday-season/) Or, you can watch it on [***YouTube here.***](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vav7VoswpYs&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Selective Mutism: Is Your Child Just Shy, Or Is It Something More? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:13.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Selective Mutism vs %E2%80%98Just Being Shy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#Selective%5FMutism%5Fvs%5F%E2%80%98Just%5FBeing%5FShy) - [How Common is Selective Mutism](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#How%5FCommon%5Fis%5FSelective%5FMutism) - [Isnt This The Same as %E2%80%98Just Being Shy](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#Isnt%5FThis%5FThe%5FSame%5Fas%5F%E2%80%98Just%5FBeing%5FShy) - - [What Causes Selective Mutism](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#What%5FCauses%5FSelective%5FMutism) - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - - - [Another Good Resource](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#Another%5FGood%5FResource) - [I Hope You Found This To Be Helpful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/selective-mutism-is-your-child-just-shy-or-is-it-something-more/#I%5FHope%5FYou%5FFound%5FThis%5FTo%5FBe%5FHelpful) ### **Selective Mutism vs ‘Just Being Shy’** Selective mutism is a diagnosable condition that significantly interferes with a child’s ability to adapt and function in social situations. It’s defined as a failure to speak in situations where the child is expected to speak. The child perceives the situation as uncomfortable and usually with a degree of social pressure to interact. Novel situations are especially difficult; however, a child with this disorder may, for example, not speak in the classroom for an entire school year, long after they’ve had an opportunity to ‘warm-up’. A less severe variant may manifest in a child needing a few weeks before they are willing to speak and, even then, possibly not engaging in more than brief responses. However, in situations found to be more comfortable, such as at home, the child speaks freely. ## **How Common is Selective Mutism?** Selective Mutism is considered to be rather rare; less than 1% of the population. However, it’s important to note that this disorder is considered to be an anxiety disorder and there is substantial overlap between selective mutism and social anxiety, the latter of which is found at upwards of 7% of the population. Social anxiety and selective mutism are considered to be two separate conditions. From my clinical experience, all children who have selective mutism also have social anxiety; although not all kids with social anxiety will present with selective mutism. ## **Isn’t This The Same as ‘Just Being Shy’?** No, it’s not. But there can be a fine line, depending on the level of severity. Shy individuals are usually hesitant to speak or engage at times, but when they need to do so they can. Children with selective mutism find themselves literally unable to speak in those uncomfortable situations. ### **What Causes Selective Mutism?** It’s important to note that the child is not being defiant. The child wants to talk, but the anxiety literally ‘clams them up.’ The condition is largely genetic and evidenced when anxiety runs in the family. There was a time when the culprit was believed to be a traumatic experience: we’ve all seen the movies where a person experiences trauma and thereafter presents as mute. That type of reaction is feasible but rare and, far more often, this disorder is congenital. Invariably, parents will say that their child has always been quiet and timid. ## **What To Do?** It’s important to seek professional treatment given that selective mutism can be quite debilitating to the child and is challenging to treat. The condition is addressed similarly to social anxiety in terms of bolstering the child’s coping skills (healthy self-talk), deep breathing, lots of practice and role-plays of social situations, and gradual exposure to actual anxiety-provoking situations. This entails practicing and role-playing social situations, over and over, in a fun and playful way, and gradually working your child into the real situation. A professional therapist is invaluable in that respect; call to schedule at (724)-850-7200 to be seen at any of our five offices, or virtually. #### **Another Good Resource**: I also want to introduce you to a wonderful [11-series Podcast on Audible “*Selective Mutism Help*”](https://www.audible.com/pd/Podcast/B08K55QP3R?qid=1638046021&sr=1-1&ref=a%5Fsearch%5Fc3%5FlProduct%5F1%5F1&pf%5Frd%5Fp=83218cca-c308-412f-bfcf-90198b687a2f&pf%5Frd%5Fr=0FM9ZEKMX3716A2TD9R5), which does a great job in providing an overview of the disorder, and helpful tips and suggestions from parents whose kids have suffer from it. Accessibility to the podcast would entail subscribing to Audible. *Disclaimer: I have no financial nor clinical stake in Audible or its products; I just found the podcast to be helpful and think you may as well.* #### **I Hope You Found This To Be Helpful** Selective mutism is a confusing and vexing disorder. However, it is treatable with a patient, mindful, and step-by-step approach. If you have any concerns about your child, don’t hesitate to reach out at [***jcarosso@cpcwecare.com***](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com)***.*** God bless you and your kiddo(s). 😊 ### Dr. John Carosso's ebook: The Steps to Improving Your Child's Behavior URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-the-steps-to-improving-your-childs-behavior/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:35.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [So Whats the Formula](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-the-steps-to-improving-your-childs-behavior/#So%5FWhats%5Fthe%5FFormula) - [Discipline is Based on a Relationship](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-the-steps-to-improving-your-childs-behavior/#Discipline%5Fis%5FBased%5Fon%5Fa%5FRelationship) There is a formula for child discipline. If you follow the recipe, the outcome is very predictable in a positive way. Children expect parents to behave in a particular manner; when they do, they tend to respond accordingly in terms of being more manageable, respectful, calmer, and grateful. When parents don’t follow the recipe, children also tend to respond accordingly, but with belligerence, a sense of entitlement, being more confrontational, and being stronger-willed. ### **So, What’s the Formula?** Your relationship with your child is the foundation to, well, just about everything you want to accomplish. In the absence of a good relationship, discipline and behavior will suffer. Once that is established, you can move toward the following step-by-step approach to improve the child's behavior. ## **Discipline is Based on a Relationship** Beyond any simple step or formula, the most important element of a well-behaved child is the relationship. It’s vital to remember that discipline is based on the word “disciple,” which is a willing and devoted follower. For instance, we want our kids to follow out of respect and a sense of camaraderie, not a fear of punishment. We accomplish that by building up the relationship with our child. How do we do this? --- **You can read the interactive eBook and view the many informative videos on my Substack**! [**CLICK HERE**](https://open.substack.com/pub/helpkidsthrive/p/dr-john-carossos-ebook-the-steps?r=4v0vgr&utm%5Fcampaign=post&utm%5Fmedium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) --- For more parenting resources or to set an appointment, check out the [*Community Psychiatric Centers' website*](http://cpcwecare.com/psychiatriccenters/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)*.* Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions at [*DrCarosso@aol.com*](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com)*.* ### Guest Post: Help! My Child Struggles With Sounding Out Words URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:56.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Tips To Help Your Child Spell Words Big and Small](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#Tips%5FTo%5FHelp%5FYour%5FChild%5FSpell%5FWords%5FBig%5Fand%5FSmall) - [Here Are Some Quick Tips That Work With Many Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#Here%5FAre%5FSome%5FQuick%5FTips%5FThat%5FWork%5FWith%5FMany%5FKids) - - [1 Play With Sounding out Words](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#1%5FPlay%5FWith%5FSounding%5Fout%5FWords) - [2 Break It Down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#2%5FBreak%5FIt%5FDown) - [3 Pound and Tap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#3%5FPound%5Fand%5FTap) - [4 Use Toys When Sounding Out Words](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/help-my-child-struggles-with-sounding-out-words/#4%5FUse%5FToys%5FWhen%5FSounding%5FOut%5FWords) By Teresa Gretencord, Reading Specialist at the [*Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) *Teresa Gretencord is an experienced and Certified Reading Specialist at the* [*Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center.*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) *She wrote this post providing simple and fun activities to help your child sound out words, which is the basis for spelling skills. Teresa offers Reading Therapy sessions online, and you can schedule a session with Teresa at* [*DyslexiaTreaters.com.*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Tips To Help Your Child Spell Words Big and Small Ahh, the dreaded spelling test! Does your child struggle to hear individual sounds and phonemes in words? This is a common problem for students who struggle with reading and especially those [identified with dyslexia](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/). Keep in mind this won’t work for every word, but it will help with those spelling patterns that many spellings tests contain. Also, once your child practices and learns the spelling pattern, there is no more just memorizing for the test. This away the need to memorize words because we have a rule and a pattern that is predictable! ### Here Are Some Quick Tips That Work With Many Kids: #### 1\. Play With Sounding out Words: Oral language is a huge piece of this puzzle. We call this phonemic awareness. Try giving your child a word like “bat.” Have your child say each sound in the word while moving their hand in a roller coaster motion saying /b/ at the bottom, /a/ at the top and bringing their arm down and saying /t/. #### 2\. Break It Down: Have your child practice breaking words into syllables. Say words like “teacher” and have them respond with teach-er, “fantastic”= fan-tas-tic, and “vacation”= va-ca-tion. #### 3\. Pound and Tap: In [Orton-Gillingham](https://www.ortonacademy.org/resources/what-is-the-orton-gillingham-approach/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), we use something called “pound and tap” when writing unknown words. Our brains are wired to be able to hear 3 or 4 sounds at a time. Every decodable word can be broken into syllables and each syllable will consist of 3 or 4 sounds. This makes spelling long words manageable. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/pound-tap.jpg) When students do sound out the word, they pound the syllable and then tap the sounds in that syllable. For example, the word “Titanic” would be broken up into the syllables Ti-tan-ic. This enables children to hear all of the sounds in the syllables. This is also useful if your child misses middle parts or sounds in words. #### 4\. Use Toys When Sounding Out Words: What kiddo doesn’t love these poppits? They are the new craze and honestly, they are quite fun. So, let’s engage kiddos and get some learning in as well! These are great for spelling practice. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/b3/1a/b31a0a6f-275a-419d-a2bc-8c8a87732965/content/images/2026/06/popits.jpg) They can be used in the same way as the pound and tap hands. Have the child say a syllable of the word, pop out the sounds for that syllable, write those sounds and move on to the next syllable! Learning should always be fun!!! So there you have it, four simple and fun ways to promote your child’s ability to sound out and spell words. At the Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center, we can also offer direct, online support at a very reasonable cost. Check us out at DyslexiaTreaters.com. Happy spelling!! ### Community Psychiatric Center's Social Skills Groups and Parent Support Groups URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/community-psychiatric-centers-social-skills-groups-and-parent-support-groups/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:22.000Z Social skills groups and parent support groups have long been a component of effective autism care, and for good reason. Peer-based social skills programming gives autistic children a structured, low-stakes environment to practice interaction, read social cues, and build confidence with others who share similar experiences. Parent support groups offer caregivers something equally valuable: community, shared knowledge, and validation from others who understand the day-to-day reality of raising a child with autism. Both formats complement individual clinical services and can significantly improve outcomes. For current information about group programming and support services available through Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, please visit acpitt.com or contact our team directly. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Preparing for the 'Back to School’ Routine URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-the-back-to-school-routine/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:43.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Its Getting Close to That Time Again%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-the-back-to-school-routine/#Its%5FGetting%5FClose%5Fto%5FThat%5FTime%5FAgain%E2%80%A6) - [Summer vs School Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-the-back-to-school-routine/#Summer%5Fvs%5FSchool%5FRoutine) - - [What To Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-the-back-to-school-routine/#What%5FTo%5FDo) - - - [9 Above all use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-the-back-to-school-routine/#9%5FAbove%5Fall%5Fuse%5Fpicture%5Fschedules%5Fand%5Fsocial%5Fstories%5Fto%5Fprepare%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Ffirst%5Fday) ## It’s Getting Close to That Time Again… It’s closing in on that ‘back to school’ time of year. Yes, it is sad to see August slipping by, and it’s time to start thinking about getting back into the school schedule. It can be a difficult transition for children to get back into that routine, with some kids dreading the end of summer. ## Summer vs. School Routine Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? Sometimes gently transitioning into that schedule can help. If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture shock for your child and not too pleasant for you either. Below are some tips that are especially helpful for parents of children with [*autism*](http://www.autismcenterofpittsburgh.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)but can apply to all kiddos. ### What To Do: 1\. First, begin slowly adjusting routines for an earlier bedtime. 2\. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3\. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. This is especially important if your kiddo has any anxiety issues. 4\. Arrange playdates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5\. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6\. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file folders…). Integrate material color with a picture schedule. 7\. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. Therefore, they can be a 'familiar' aspect of the school routine. 8\. In Addition, pick out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). ##### 9\. Above all, use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10\. Prepare the school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. Moreover, you can prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 11\. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 12\. It may be helpful to write an "all about me" card for the teacher. This is a simple and fun way to let the classroom teacher know about your child. For example, such a card can communicate fun tidbits about your child, their interests, and preferences. Any special needs would be more formally presented during a meeting with the teacher and documented in an IEP or 504 plan. **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer.** ### Check Out Our Library of Helpful Resources URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/check-out-our-library-of-helpful-resources/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:44.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Weve Provided a Repository of Parent Resources](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/check-out-our-library-of-helpful-resources/#Weve%5FProvided%5Fa%5FRepository%5Fof%5FParent%5FResources) - [Dont Forget to Explore Parent Resources Here](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/check-out-our-library-of-helpful-resources/#Dont%5FForget%5Fto%5FExplore%5FParent%5FResources%5FHere) - [Convenient Accessible and Practical](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/check-out-our-library-of-helpful-resources/#Convenient%5FAccessible%5Fand%5FPractical) ### **We’ve Provided a Repository of Parent Resources!!** You might now know it, but our library of parent resources extends beyond the helpful articles I share here. If you check out [*cpcwecare.com*](http://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)you’ll see our Parent Resource section, and the archives of our CPC Presents television shows. The Resource section has many helpful links to information. The information covers autism, Asperger’s, ADHD, eating disorders, OCD, bio-medical interventions, dietary restrictions, Conduct Disorder, and information about support groups. Our CPC Presents program, hosted by Dr. Lowenstein, M.D. and I, ran for over three years on Channel 11’s PCNC. The archives on include 27 shows covering just about every childhood issue one can fathom including video game addiction, selective mutism, teenage cutting, ADHD, chronic hair pulling, and Tourette’s. ### **Don’t Forget to Explore Parent R**esources Here Are you looking for more information right now? You're in luck! On this site, you’ll find literally hundreds of posts and [*videos*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/)covering vexing childhood issues. Moreover, there is a Parent Resources tab that provides information about the facts and fallacies regarding ADHD, encopresis, ODD, a link to my book “The 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Health Issues of Our Day ”, as well as our “CPC Answer Series” on medication, autism, attachment disorder, ADHD and executive functioning, Dyslexia, Managing Your Child’s Public Behavior, Toilet Training, and a description of in-home and in-school services (formerly known as “wraparound services”). ## **Convenient, Accessible, and Practical** Our goal is to provide useful and practical information in a convenient and easy-to-use format. We trust you’ll find just that at these two sites. While you’re at it, check out [*DyslexiaTreaters.com*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)to learn more about dyslexia and [*AutismCenterofPittsburgh.com*](http://www.autismcenterofpittsburgh.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)where there are a ton of autism resources, videos, and our interesting Q/A section. Happy reading (and watching), and may God bless you and your family. Have a wonderful rest of your summer. ### Improving Your Child’s Reading Comprehension URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:39.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Does Dyslexia Impact Reading Comprehension](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Does%5FDyslexia%5FImpact%5FReading%5FComprehension) - [What Causes Problems With Reading Comprehension](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#What%5FCauses%5FProblems%5FWith%5FReading%5FComprehension) - - - [Attention Problems](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Attention%5FProblems) - [What to Do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#What%5Fto%5FDo) - [Vocabulary](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Vocabulary) - [What to Do-2](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#What%5Fto%5FDo-2) - [Practice Makes Perfect and Dont Forget to Re-cap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Practice%5FMakes%5FPerfect%5Fand%5FDont%5FForget%5Fto%5FRe-cap) - - - [Picking Out Key Words and Phrases](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Picking%5FOut%5FKey%5FWords%5Fand%5FPhrases) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improving-your-childs-reading-comprehension/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ### **Does Dyslexia Impact Reading Comprehension?** We talk a lot about [*dyslexia,*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/what-is-dyslexia/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)or the difficulty with decoding or sounding out words. It’s obvious that any child struggling to decode individual words is going to have trouble with reading comprehension. In that respect, it’s difficult to ascertain what a passage is attempting to convey if one cannot read a portion of the words in that passage. In that instance, we target the child’s ability to decode words and, as that skill improves, so does the reading comprehension. However, some children actually read fairly well, but still struggle with reading comprehension; today’s post targets those children and that difficulty. ### **What Causes Problems With Reading Comprehension?** ##### **Attention Problems** Once we rule out dyslexia, the next most common issue causing problems with reading comprehension is lack of attention. In that regard, children with ADHD tend to struggle with reading comprehension because, while reading, they lose focus and consequently don’t capture the information the passage is attempting to convey. ##### What to Do? We target the attention problem issue. In doing so, we assess the length of time before attention begins to wane, use a timer, and break down the task into smaller segments to promote attention. Keep the work environment distraction-free, and summarize each paragraph before moving on to the next. ##### Vocabulary Improving one’s vocabulary, or the understanding of what words mean, is surprisingly fun and simple, gives a sense of satisfaction as your child learns the meaning and how to use new words, and is immeasurably helpful and instrumental in improving reading comprehension. In that respect, if one does not know what the words mean, then reading comprehension is going to suffer. ##### What to Do? You can easily go online and download a list of grade-appropriate vocabulary words and simply begin the review. It’s actually fun to memorize the meaning of words; you can make a game of it. However, remember that one does not know the meaning of any word until one can explain what the word means without using the word in the explanation. ### Practice Makes Perfect, and Don’t Forget to Re-cap Use reading material your child finds to be fun and engaging. After each paragraph or page, ask for a quick re-cap; practice makes perfect. Start with material that is below-grade-level and work upwards. Sometimes reading aloud is helpful. ##### Picking Out Key Words and Phrases It’s often helpful to read chapter questions (at the end of the chapter in a textbook) before reading the chapter, which gives clues regarding the chapter content and helps to focus on important elements of the story. Or, a parent can pre-read the passage, make up questions, and present the questions before the child begins reading. Also, scan ahead to see the paragraph headings, graphics, and any clues and cues that provide a sense of the chapter content. Underline key words and phrases that often include names, dates, locations, facts, and figures. ### Hope that helps!! Those are a few tips for improving reading comprehension skills. Please note that we’re available to help at the [*Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center*](https://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) where we help with reading problems including sounding out words and comprehending the reading material. If you think your child might be suffering from dyslexia, call **1 (724) 850-7200**, or email me to set up or an evaluation. Or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at[**jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com**](mailto:jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com)**.** Happy reading!! ### Why It’s Important for Our Children to Celebrate The Fourth of July! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:15.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Are We Celebrating on %E2%80%9CThe Fourth%E2%80%9D Also Known as %E2%80%9CIndependence Day%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#What%5FAre%5FWe%5FCelebrating%5Fon%5F%E2%80%9CThe%5FFourth%E2%80%9D%5FAlso%5FKnown%5Fas%5F%E2%80%9CIndependence%5FDay%E2%80%9D) - [Why is This Important For Our Kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#Why%5Fis%5FThis%5FImportant%5FFor%5FOur%5FKids) - - - [Liberty and Responsibility](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#Liberty%5Fand%5FResponsibility) - [Independence as a Virtue Individualism and Self-Determination](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#Independence%5Fas%5Fa%5FVirtue%5FIndividualism%5Fand%5FSelf-Determination) - - [That We Can Continue to Grow Evolve and Improve](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#That%5FWe%5FCan%5FContinue%5Fto%5FGrow%5FEvolve%5Fand%5FImprove) - [Happy Independence Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-its-important-for-our-children-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july/#Happy%5FIndependence%5FDay) ### **What Are We Celebrating on “The Fourth”, Also Known as “Independence Day”?** The Fourth commemorates the unanimous adoption of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain, by the second Continental Congress in 1776\. This declaration culminated in our revolutionary war that ended in 1783\. It was then that Britain recognized the United States as an independent and sovereign country. 😊 ## **Why is This Important For Our Kids?** We want our kids to know our history, and how we ‘came to be.’ However, there’s more. The same principles on which our country was founded are the same characteristics we want to develop in our children. Here is a run-down of those principles: #### **Liberty and Responsibility** A primary goal of the American revolution was the pursuit of liberty. As was so eloquently phrased, *“We hold these truths self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”* Liberty is different than freedom, with the former comes a measure of personal accountability and responsibility. Above all, our Founders strongly believed that with liberty, comes personal accountability. You want to instill those same values in your children – we have unimaginable freedoms in our everyday life, but we also have a responsibility to our family and fellow citizens and should expect to be held accountable for our actions. ### Independence as a Virtue: **Individualism and Self-Determination** Another founding principle is that we all have moral worth, and each should be valued to make one’s own decisions. This is accompanied by the principle of individualism; we are individuals apart from the collective and each has to make his or her own way in life. Yes, we have an obligation to behave morally and help our fellow citizens when we can, but each of us is responsible for our own well-being. We make our own decisions and therefore take responsibility for the outcomes, good or bad, and expect to be accountable for those decisions. It would behoove us to raise our children with this understanding and appreciation, which will serve them well into adulthood. **Appealing to Virtue, a Higher Power, and Morality** Our Founding Fathers believed that the ability to govern ourselves rests with our individual and collective virtue (or moral character). This virtue stems from a Higher Power, or God, from Whom originate our rights. As was written by John Adams, “it is religion and morality alone which can establish the principles upon which freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free constitution is pure virtue.” We want our children to stand firm in the knowledge that without a strong sense of morality, a firm sense of ‘right and wrong’, based on a Power Who stands above us, we will fail on a personal level and as a society. #### **That We Can Continue to Grow, Evolve, and Improve** Our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution allowed for growth and a trend toward improvement as a society. The concept that ‘all men are created equal’ was among our founding principles. It provided a foundation that compelled our country in the direction of increasing freedom and equality. Has not the United States trended in the direction of increased inclusiveness and is a far different place than in the 1700s? How about compared to the 1800s? In addition, how have we grown as a nation since the 1950s? What about over the past decade? Is there any other country as diverse as the United States that has progressed as much and as quickly? Is there any other diverse country that is freer and with as much opportunity for all? If so, which country is that? – I suppose we’ll all move there. We want our children to know that this unique and very special country has made immeasurable progress in a remarkably brief time. You want your kids to know that they too, as individuals, are expected to learn from their mistakes. They are expected to grow and mature, learn and evolve. Above all, they should aspire to become something better, and make their community better. #### **Happy Independence Day** I hope you had a fun and relaxing Independence Day as you had cookouts with family and pondered the remarkable aspects of our country. I wish you the very best in your ongoing pursuit of teaching your kids these founding principles and helping them to live out these aspirations on a daily basis. If you need any help along the way, never hesitate to reach out; you can find out more at [HelpForYourChild.com](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). May God bless you and your children, and this wonderful country in which we live. ### No Meltdown Outings: How to Manage Your Child’s Public Behavior URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:59.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Some Tips for Successful Public Behavior](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Some%5FTips%5Ffor%5FSuccessful%5FPublic%5FBehavior) - - - [1 Start Small](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#1%5FStart%5FSmall) - [2 Agree on %E2%80%98Rules Before Leaving](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#2%5FAgree%5Fon%5F%E2%80%98Rules%5FBefore%5FLeaving) - [3 Make the Schedule Clear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#3%5FMake%5Fthe%5FSchedule%5FClear) - [4 Provide Simple Direction on How to Behave Well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#4%5FProvide%5FSimple%5FDirection%5Fon%5FHow%5Fto%5FBehave%5FWell) - [5 Get Your Child Involved](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#5%5FGet%5FYour%5FChild%5FInvolved) - [6 Avoid a Meltdown](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#6%5FAvoid%5Fa%5FMeltdown) - [7 Prepare Plan Practice](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#7%5FPrepare%5FPlan%5FPractice) - [Reducing Overstimulation on Your Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Reducing%5FOverstimulation%5Fon%5FYour%5FOutings) - [Watch Out for Problem Behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Watch%5FOut%5Ffor%5FProblem%5FBehaviors) - - [Managing Public Behavior Behavioral Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Managing%5FPublic%5FBehavior%5FBehavioral%5FApproaches) - - [Distract and Redirect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Distract%5Fand%5FRedirect) - [Dealing with Others Judgements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Dealing%5Fwith%5FOthers%5FJudgements) - - [Safety First on Summer Outings](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/no-meltdown-outings-how-to-manage-your-childs-public-behavior/#Safety%5FFirst%5Fon%5FSummer%5FOutings) Public outings with your child can be quite challenging and demanding, and there tend to be more excursions over summer vacation. Children sometimes find the new environment, whether it be a store or amusement park, to be over-stimulating, and want to carry out the outing ‘on their terms’ rather than on yours. However, if you make a plan in advance, there are some strategies to improve the situation and make the outing more tolerable, if not more pleasant. ## **Some Tips for Successful Public Behavior:** #### 1\. **Start Smal**l Just like anything else, behavior during an outing is a skill that is learned over time. Role-play at home (set-up a mock store or restaurant). Start with short stints, then increase exposure. Quick daily outings (in and out, but longer over time) are better than long trips at first. For example: a brief trip to a local deli, then to a restaurant… #### 2\. **Agree on ‘Rules’ Before Leaving** Outline an explanation of where you are going, expectations for behavior, and the rewards (or consequences) if things go well, or not so well. Make sure your child understands what your (achievable) expectations are. #### 3\. **Make the Schedule Clear:** What will happen during the trip, where you’ll be going, what they will do (park, walk, go to a particular store, ride in a cart, take a snack break, ride or not ride certain rides at a park…) and how long it will take? Show photos ahead of time of where you’re going, if possible. Remind them of what part you are at during the excursion, and what comes next. A picture schedule can be very helpful. #### 4\. **Provide Simple Direction on How to Behave Well:** Holding an adult’s hand, stay close, etc. Frequently tell them how they’re doing and offer tons of praise and give little tokens for good behavior whenever you see good behavior, or every so often during the outing. They can trade in the tokens for desired items. #### 5\. **Get Your Child Involved** Ask questions! If shopping, your child can help find items – keep them occupied. You can even give them money to make their own purchases. Bring along favorite toys, food, or familiar item. Have them help plan out the day with you when you put together the outing. #### 6\. **Avoid a Meltdown** Limit how often, length, and where you shop depending on your child’s tolerance level. Keep trips short, take breaks, and use a stroller. Make sure they are not tired or hungry (either of you). Be careful of your own attitude and fatigue (keep upbeat, happy…). Take along a wish list. If he sees something he can’t have, add it to a wishlist. Share enthusiasm for desired items. Try to avoid tempting places, or keep in small doses. #### 7\. **Prepare, Plan, Practice!** Sometimes it can feel frustrating, especially if the outings are to somewhere with challenging distractions. Develop ‘Social Stories’ about public outings, and encourage your child’s involvement with the process. Try to prepare with a visual schedule well in advance. Go at off-hours (6-7 PM or early in the AM, or early in the week). Know the store/destination layout in advance (bathrooms, exit, food, water fountain, babysitting, fire extinguishers (that was a joke)…). If possible, have another adult with you, especially if taking multiple kiddos. In certain situations, you can ask a psychologist to prescribe accommodations at an amusement park or similar destination. ## **Reducing Overstimulation** on Your Outings Many children find even busy supermarkets to be stimulating, if not over-stimulating. Here are some things to think about if your child tends to get overwhelmed in some environments: - Some places are simply too overloading for some children (Chuckie-Cheese…) - Physical overstimulation of crowds: brushing and compression. Avoid long lines, large crowds, noisy environments - Take breaks or do shorter stints - Noise-Reducing headphones may help - Redirect to details (refocusing on specific items or areas of the store helps to squelch child feeling overwhelmed by the surroundings) - Deep breaths; count to ten - Don’t push the limits. At times it’s best to simply not take your child ## **Watch Out for Problem Behaviors** Problem behaviors can be a form of communication. Note the triggers, problem areas, and anything that makes it predictable. If you can predict it, you can prevent it! Some issues to look out for are boredom, overstimulation**,** hunger**,** and fatigue (it’s tough for those little legs to keep up). ### **Managing Public Behavior: Behavioral Approaches** Behavior management is the key; remain consistent and remember that what works at home, will often work in public as well. Try to be consistent with behavior management in all settings (between home, school, community). Reinforce good behavior (you get what you praise, and be specific in that praise). When misbehavior occurs, intervene and make eye contact as soon as it happens, and then redirect to replacement behavior. Use time-outs in the store, or take a break outside the store. Avoid losing your cool. A time out does not need to be a “punishment” but, rather a quiet moment outside the store to calm. #### **Distract and Redirect** Here are some tricks to effectively redirect your child to what you want him/her to do, rather than what you don’t want: - Tell them what to do, not what not to do - 1-2-3 Magic - Have a plan ahead of time, and always have a Plan B! - Remove your child to a private place to discipline - Give choices (stand beside me or stop at the end of the aisle) - Get eye contact before giving a direction - Make a game of shopping (What cereal is in the yellow box; I spy) - Stores are like oversized classrooms that just happen to sell things. Make a trip a learning opportunity. This strategy also helps to keep the child busy, and keeps their attention. - Count the number of items you need - Find the items based on color or size - Make a list at home, and have the child help find the items - Name the foods in the cart, how they can be used, where they came from - Use all senses; notice smells, texture, differences in color - Older children can help with checkout, request paper or plastic, give coupons… ## **Dealing with Other’s Judgements** Sometimes, when you are in a public place with your child, people find it necessary to put in their ‘two-cents’; especially if your child has a learning or behavioral difficulty. Here are some ways to deal with that frustration: - Autism Awareness Cards (explains autism and how to be supportive) - “My child is autistic, what’s your problem?” - T-shirt: I have autism; be nice to my Mom - Find some merit in their complaint (child making noise in a restaurant…) - Keep it in perspective (all kids freak out sometimes in stores; it’s kinda funny sometimes) - Simply ignore them ### **Safety First on Summer Outings** It’s important to stay safe while having fun excursions together this summer. It's important to remember snacks, sunscreen, & pool floaties, but what else? - Never leave your child alone unsupervised in a car - Consider a name tag - Some parents have some success using a harness and tethering device (“leash”) that can be used in more extreme situations where safety is an issue. However, it is important to ‘phase’ out the leash for increasing periods of time while using high levels of positive reinforcement, ie: praise, stickers…. - It might be beneficial to have a Service K-9, if possible - Investigate and prepare ahead of time - Have a plan in case you get separated, and practice it! - Keep your child close (hold hands, or steer the cart, or hang onto the cart) I hope these tips prove to be helpful and make your summer outings more fun and enjoyable. Happy Travels!! ### Mission: Fatherhood! An Open Letter To Dads URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:52.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [On This Fathers Day First I Gotta Give a Shout-Out to Moms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#On%5FThis%5FFathers%5FDay%5FFirst%5FI%5FGotta%5FGive%5Fa%5FShout-Out%5Fto%5FMoms) - [The Purpose of This Post](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#The%5FPurpose%5Fof%5FThis%5FPost) - [Dear Dads](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#Dear%5FDads) - - - - [What if You Dont Live in The Same Home as Your Child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#What%5Fif%5FYou%5FDont%5FLive%5Fin%5FThe%5FSame%5FHome%5Fas%5FYour%5FChild) - [Your role or your mission if you will is more important than a CEO Manager or President](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#Your%5Frole%5For%5Fyour%5Fmission%5Fif%5Fyou%5Fwill%5Fis%5Fmore%5Fimportant%5Fthan%5Fa%5FCEO%5FManager%5For%5FPresident) - [Happy Fathers Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/mission-fatherhood-an-open-letter-to-dads/#Happy%5FFathers%5FDay) #### **On This Father’s Day, First I Gotta Give a Shout-Out to Moms!** We all fully recognize the importance of a mom in a child’s life. Indeed, no one can surpass the love, compassion, caring, empathy, and tenderness of a mother. Dads sometimes can demonstrate those traits, but usually not on par with their female counterparts and, one could argue; that’s not what dads are for anyway. It seems clear that when God devised the family, He delineated very special and specific roles for each member that divinely complement one other to provide a child all that’s necessary to grow in a healthy and well-rounded way. #### **The Purpose of This Post** This post is an open letter to all fathers out there. Please share it with your husband or any male for that matter; to the dads who read these posts: I hope you find it informative. In any case, there are a few things dads need to know, and I aim to tell them. So, here it goes: ## Dear Dads, I’m not sure you realize just how important you are in your child’s life. You may think your wife picks up the slack, among other things, and that moms are the true nurturing force, and you may be right about that. However, your role is invaluable and irreplaceable. In fact, your presence in your child’s life makes all the difference in the world for your child. For example, did you know that your engagement in your kid’s life results in your child being more engaged in school (almost 50% more likely to earn better grades and the same percentage less likely to repeat a grade; 60% less likely to get in trouble at school or drop-out, and twice as likely to go to college), are more likely to stay out of trouble (80% less likely to spend time in jail!!!), avoid high-risk behaviors, and to hold off intimacy with the opposite sex (75% less likely to have a teen birth!!). As if that’s not powerful enough, it goes even further: your presence and attention results in your child having a much greater chance of becoming a successful adult with a better-paying job and healthier relationships. Incredibly, with you being in your child’s life, your kiddo is more likely to have a higher IQ and be emotionally more stable than otherwise. You probably didn’t know that infants with involved fathers have been found to have higher cognitive scores by one year of age than those without their father’s involvement. ##### What if You Don’t Live in The Same Home as Your Child? That’s not optimal, but clearly, it’s surmountable. Stay engaged with phone calls, letters (the old-fashion handwritten kind), emails, texts, attending games, regular visitation, and balanced custody arrangements. A child simply knowing their dad cares is huge and is super impactful. However, you gotta realize that there is no substitute for your presence; buying gifts simply won’t cut it, and likely will make the situation worse. It’s very simple; your child wants and needs YOU, not stuff. Your child likely has a mom, and that’s immeasurably important, but you bring some special things to the table. Think about it: without you, how is your son going to know how a man is supposed to act? In the absence of watching how you treat her mother, how will your daughter know how she should be treated by her husband? Yeah, I know, this may sound stereotyped, but is it untrue? Without you, how will a boy learn to be tough and masculine and, at the same time, a gentleman? Of course, kids without fathers figure it out, but it’s not an easy path and doesn’t come as naturally. What about my daughter, you ask? Well, you’re no less important to her. There is a general sense that a father’s presence is equally important for son and daughter till puberty; thereafter, your presence helps immeasurably to keep your daughter from being sexually active. Girls with dads in their lives have less of an internal drive to act out sexually, have more self-control, and are generally less inclined to become sexually active at an early age. Daughters with attentive dads learn lots of important things including that they don’t need to be sexual to deserve a male’s attention. Moreover, your daughter sees you respecting her mother and learns how a woman is supposed to be treated in relationships. Your kids learn, directly from you, about dependability, work ethic, how a man is supposed to handle anger and emotions, and how to care for a family. You also have a profound impact on your child’s spiritual life. You are called to reflect God's fatherhood for your child; and to be a model of strength, leadership, love, faithfulness, grace, and mercy. Moreover, your child will follow your spiritual lead in that respect, which further shows the importance of your influence. ## Your role, or your mission if you will, is more important than a CEO, Manager, or President. Your job as ‘father’ and ‘dad’ is the best and most challenging of positions. It can be daunting, may seem impossible, and you may feel like you’re failing at times, but staying in the game and ‘being there’ is how you win, and how your child wins. Okay, so what if you’ve been out of your child’s life? That is a difficult situation. Re-engaging with your child is a worthy pursuit, but rebuilding trust is usually a process and there may be multiple barriers to overcome including some legalities. The process usually begins with writing letters, which can be effective. Remember: it’s very comforting for a child to know that their father cares, even if they don’t have contact. However, there are some situations where re-engagement can be counterproductive and even harmful; it’s important to be sensitive to the history between you and your child. If you’re not sure if or how to proceed, feel free to reach out to me and we can discuss the particulars at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). I hope you find this letter to be heartening and inspiring. As a dad myself, I find it important to be reminded of our God-given role and place within the family, our paramount importance for our kids, and the need to strive to be our very best. I commend you for doing the same, and I wish you the best and Godspeed in your effort ## Happy Father’s Day. ### Dyslexia: What Is the Best Approach? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:41.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Our Team at the Dyslexia Diagnostic Treatment Center DyslexiaTreaterscom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#Our%5FTeam%5Fat%5Fthe%5FDyslexia%5FDiagnostic%5FTreatment%5FCenter%5FDyslexiaTreaterscom) - - - [How the Dyslexia Treatment Process Begins](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#How%5Fthe%5FDyslexia%5FTreatment%5FProcess%5FBegins) - [What](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#What) - [Who](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#Who) - - - [How Long](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#How%5FLong) - [Dyslexia Treatment is an Investment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#Dyslexia%5FTreatment%5Fis%5Fan%5FInvestment) - - [Our Staffs Credentials and Our Summer Intensive Therapy Program](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-treatment-what-is-the-best-approach/#Our%5FStaffs%5FCredentials%5Fand%5FOur%5FSummer%5FIntensive%5FTherapy%5FProgram) *Written by Dr. John Carosso & Mrs. Beth Coulson* ## **Our Team at the *Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center* (*DyslexiaTreaters.com*)** Your child is in good hands at the [*Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center*](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Evaluation and treatment services are overseen by Dr. Carosso, Clinical Child Psychologist/Certified School Psychologist, Dr. Robert Lowenstein, Board Certified Child Psychiatrist, and Mrs. Beth Coulson, Certified Language (Dyslexia) Therapist and our Lead Teacher. In addition, we have a fantastic team of Reading Specialists all of whom are certified in Orton-Gillingham, which is the foundational approach in treating dyslexia and have years of experience. #### **How the Dyslexia Treatment Process Begins** Our treatment process begins with a comprehensive evaluation that may culminate in you, the parent, being informed, “*your child has dyslexia*.” That information can be a welcome relief to hear. Finally, someone can tell you what is happening with your kiddo. However, for many, it’s also a scary place full of unknowns and what-ifs. No matter where you find yourself on this spectrum of emotions, your next question generally is, “So, what do we do?” The good news: there is an answer to that question! Today, we will be outlining dyslexia remediation: what should be included in a successful program, who should be facilitating those programs, and how long you can expect to have your child in remediation. ### **What?** When you are looking for a successful dyslexia remediation program, you should look for the following characteristics: - **Multi-Sensory** Proven remediation methods always use [all three learning tracks](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/) to teach children: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic-tactile. Any proven dyslexia remediation program will have extensive practice in all three modes. This helps create stronger links in the brains of dyslexic learners! - **Structured and Systematic** Those with dyslexia thrive on structure when they are learning. The more predictable and systemized the lesson, the easier it is to retain the knowledge. In addition, the more predictable the systems and procedures, the less brainpower necessary to determine “how” to practice and, as a result, your child can direct all the extra resources to practice the “what” of the lesson. All successful remediation programs will include a structured and systematic lesson plan. - **Individualized Teaching Plans** Proven and successful remediation programs will ALL be individualized in their approach. This is arguably the most important part of a successful program – there are no cookie-cutter lesson plans here! Each lesson will be planned for your child specifically: highlighting their strengths, practicing their weaknesses, and using both to create a beautiful learning environment for your child! ## **Who?** Who is teaching your child is almost as important as what they are teaching. Dyslexia Reading Specialists are NOT tutors. In fact, they are often called *dyslexia therapists* and they have been through an extensive training program. Generally, this is many hours of training plus a supervised practicum. It is even better if your child’s therapist has an official certification, given through the International Association of Dyslexia or the Academic Language Therapy Association. Anyone with less training will ultimately be unable to effectively remediate dyslexia. #### **How Long?** There is no “quick fix” for dyslexia but research shows that students with dyslexia can be remediated (reading at grade level) in 1-3 years though progressive improvement is evident from the beginning of treatment; as one would expect, more severe cases take longer. Many things affect this rate including the level of severity of the dyslexia and the number of sessions per week. It is advised that your child has sessions no less than two times a week, although 3 or 4 are even better. ### **Dyslexia Treatment is an Investment** Remediating your child’s dyslexia is an investment in both time and money. Our students often come to us feeling dejected and frustrated but are discharged from services feeling more confident in their reading ability and happier with their classroom performance, which is priceless. #### **Our Staff’s Credentials, and Our *Summer Intensive Therapy Program*** *The Dyslexia Diagnostic and Treatment Center* is committed to fulfilling all these requirements and more. Our therapists are certified, trained, have vast experience and all use a version of the Orton-Gillingham curriculum. Our remediation services are intensive and effective, and can really help turn around your child’s academic life! If you would like more information on dyslexia remediation and options that The Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center offers, please email Beth Coulson at [*bethcoulson13@gmail.com*](mailto:bethcoulson13@gmail.com)or click this link:[*https://forms.gle/pE5fdLeSJy2hVMZX8*](https://forms.gle/pE5fdLeSJy2hVMZX8?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Hurry, spots for our summer intensive program are filling quickly! ### What Is, In Fact, More Important Than Discipline? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-in-fact-more-important-than-discipline/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:45.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [The Discipline Conundrum](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-in-fact-more-important-than-discipline/#The%5FDiscipline%5FConundrum) - [Quality and Quantity](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-in-fact-more-important-than-discipline/#Quality%5Fand%5FQuantity) - - - [The Fear Factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-in-fact-more-important-than-discipline/#The%5FFear%5FFactor) - [The fun factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-in-fact-more-important-than-discipline/#The%5Ffun%5Ffactor) ### **The Discipline Conundrum** You can check out my [*eBook*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-most-common-discipline-methods-dont-work-heres-why-and-how-to-make-them-work/) that explains why many traditional discipline or behavioral management practices fail. In that respect, it’s vital to fully understand what works, and what can sometimes not work so well. Yes, we all know, as parents, that being able to effectively discipline your child is vital to their well-being. However, surprisingly, there is something that trumps discipline - there is something more important; a foundational element that, without which, you’re in a very difficult position. ## **Quality *and* Quantity** So, what is that foundational element? It’s your relationship!! The key to parenting and discipline is you and your child doing things together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company, and spending time (quality *and* quantity time) in fun activities. Now that Spring is here, and Summer is approaching, there are many more opportunities for such relationship-building fun, so go for it! Even ‘not so fun’ activities can be quite bonding and reinforcing such as helping with homework or school projects, assisting in getting your child ready for bedtime... In any case, without a healthy relationship, there is no glue to connect a parental directive to the subsequent (hopefully) compliant behavior. We want our kids to comply because, ultimately, they love their parents, want their parents to be happy, want to get along and have a good relationship and realize that ‘we’re all in this together’ so I might as well do my part. #### **The Fear Factor** If your child is complying predominately due to a fear of punishment, then you’re in trouble. In that case, your child’s “compliance” is based on manipulation and fear, and tasks are often completed superficially and marginally. ### **The fun factor** Instead, build the relationship and you’ll have a “disciple” (a willing follower) and be less reliant on discipline. Don’t get me wrong; both are vital, but the former is a lot more fun 🙂 ### How We Diagnose and Treat Dyslexia URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:18.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Causes Dyslexia](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#What%5FCauses%5FDyslexia) - - - [What Does the Term Mean and How Does it Manifest](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#What%5FDoes%5Fthe%5FTerm%5FMean%5Fand%5FHow%5FDoes%5Fit%5FManifest) - [How We Diagnose](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#How%5FWe%5FDiagnose) - - - [The Foundation of Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#The%5FFoundation%5Fof%5FTreatment) - [Some Things You Can Do to Help Your Child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#Some%5FThings%5FYou%5FCan%5FDo%5Fto%5FHelp%5FYour%5FChild) - - [Two-second Rule](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#Two-second%5FRule) - [Practice Makes Perfect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#Practice%5FMakes%5FPerfect) - [%E2%80%9CThose letters are jumping around%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#%E2%80%9CThose%5Fletters%5Fare%5Fjumping%5Faround%E2%80%A6%E2%80%9D) - [Technology is Our Friend](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#Technology%5Fis%5FOur%5FFriend) - [Get Our Dyslexia Packet Free](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-and-treat-dyslexia/#Get%5FOur%5FDyslexia%5FPacket%5FFree) At the Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center -[*DyslexiaTreaters.com* ](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)– we assess for and treat dyslexia. This process includes explaining the nature of “dyslexia” and what a parent can do to help. ## **What Causes Dyslexia?** Dyslexia is largely inherited. In that respect, if a parent has dyslexia, there is at least a 60% chance that offspring will also have the condition. #### **What Does the Term Mean, and How Does it Manifest?** “Lexia” refers to “words” and “dys” means “poor” such that dyslexia is a “difficulty with words” or a difficulty in the reading of words. Think of it this way: when you see a page of text, it’s not really a page full of words; actually, it’s a page full of letters. In that respect, all those letters are like a big code and it’s our brain’s job to ‘decode’ the letters by associating sounds to the letters and blends. That’s why we refer to reading as using ‘decoding’ skills. People with dyslexia have trouble with that ‘decoding’ process. However, it’s no different than any other strength or weakness; some of us are good, or not so good, in math, athletics, music, art, reading, or whatever. ## **How We Diagnose** At the Dyslexia Diagnostic & Treatment Center, we conduct a thorough evaluation that will include an assessment of intelligence, which reflects a person’s ability level. We then compare that ability level to measures of reading, spelling, phonetic ability, and reading comprehension among other assessed areas. We then look for the telltale signs, namely in the areas of difficulty with specific decoding skills and we diagnose based on evidence of such difficulty and severity level. #### **The Foundation of Treatment** You can find more information at our website, [*DyslexiaTreaters*.*com*](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)*,* that we can provide treatment online in the convenience of your home. We have the best Reading Specialists who are vastly experienced and certified in treating dyslexia. We rely on a structured, systematic, and ‘multi-sensory’ approach that incorporates visual, auditory, and kinesthetic learning processes. The Orton-Gillingham Approach is foundational and incorporates this multi-sensory approach. ### **Some Things You Can Do to Help Your Child** Read to your child daily. Books on tape can be helpful and Kindle, Audible, and Bookshare is a valuable resource (read-aloud option). #### **Two-second Rule** When reading to your child and taking turns, use the ‘two-second rule’. When your child struggles to read a word, wait two seconds, then quickly pronounce the word for your child and move on with the reading. Otherwise, the reading experience becomes burdensome, boring, and your child will resist. Moreover, basic reading passages have lots of repetition of words, so you’ll re-encounter that word soon enough. You want to choose reading material with which your child can read at about 90% accuracy. #### **Practice Makes Perfect** Practice writing by tracing and progressively moving to freehand. Tracing and writing problem letters (b’s, p’s, d’s…) is helpful. There are also various helpful tricks (“bed” featuring a picture of two people – pictured as the ‘b’ and ‘d’ – holding between them an ‘e’ on which a person is sleeping…). #### **“Those letters are jumping around…”** Use off-white paper or background, larger-size (14 pt or more), and sans serif fonts to reduce the letters appearing to “move around on the page” (a common complaint from kids struggling with dyslexia). ### **Technology is Our Friend** Practice phonics online; simply google “free phonics games” and plenty of sites will be available for daily, fun-filled practice. There are also inexpensive ‘apps’ that can be downloaded. I also refer parents to any number of commercial software products that provide comprehensive instruction, in a child-friendly manner, for the computer. ## **Get Our Dyslexia Packet Free** Simply email me at [*jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com*](mailto:jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com) and ask for our Dyslexia Packet that outlines these strategies, helpful websites, website addresses for software, and a host of other treatment options. Also, inquire about our online treatment. *We are excited about our upcoming intensive summer treatment program beginning in June.* I hopethat this was helpful for you and your child. If you found this article informational, please share it with a friend. Thanks! ### Preparing Your Kids (And You) For Summer Fun URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:34.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [Just Around the Corner](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#Just%5FAround%5Fthe%5FCorner) - - - [For the OCD Among Us](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#For%5Fthe%5FOCD%5FAmong%5FUs) - [Creative](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#Creative) - - [Not All Of it Has to Be %E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#Not%5FAll%5FOf%5Fit%5FHas%5Fto%5FBe%5F%E2%80%9CFun%E2%80%9D) - [Childcare Babysitting and Summer Camps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#Childcare%5FBabysitting%5Fand%5FSummer%5FCamps) - - - [Daily Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#Daily%5FRoutine) - [As the Summer Winds Down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun-2/#As%5Fthe%5FSummer%5FWinds%5FDown) ### **Just Around the Corner** It’s May and summer recess will be here before ya know it, so it's best to start planning and preparing now. There are lots to think about, and I would hate to have you awaken that fateful day in early June with the incessant “I’m bored”, or loud screaming that typically accompanies siblings being home together all day. Oh, the joys of summer. ##### **For the OCD Among Us** I know it may sound a bit OCD-ish, but a very effective way to plan for the summer, and to get every drop of fun you can, is to get a calendar and plan the entire summer week-by-week, if not day-by-day. You may have some day and week-long camps that you can easily plug in; the annual summer vacation to the beach or Disney, your kid’s sporting events, the trip to Aunt Rhoda’s… Once you have those regular events scheduled, you can start getting creative. Oh, by the way, if your child has special needs, contact the Park (Disney…) they formerly provided passes to avoid long wait times. ## **Creative?** I’ll bet your family has a bucket list of fun and ‘different’ things you all would like to do, but haven’t. Often, we don’t do fun things because we don’t plan for them. So, plan the activities and get that small flower garden planted, bake some cookies, go camping in the backyard, go on that day-trip to Gettysburg, project a movie on your garage door and have a homemade drive-in, do some star-gazing, start an annual neighborhood kickball tournament and, of course, can’t forget about getting a net (not a Wiffle bat) and catching lightning bugs. ### **Not All Of it Has to Be “Fun”** You may include some things in the summer agenda that aren’t necessarily fun but are definitely worthwhile. Summer is an excellent time to get your kids boned up on things such as math, writing skills, or reading. If your child has special education services, talk to the Principal now about whether your child qualifies for Extended School Year (ESY). We also offer intensive summer online programming through [DyslexiaTreaters.com](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Teach the kiddos how to do various chores around the house (how to wash the family car…) or do a family project such as cleaning out that garage. In fact, sometimes those ‘chores’, if done as a family, can be quite a bonding experience especially when the final outcome (a really clean and organized garage) is achieved by everyone’s hard work. If your child is on the spectrum, the summer can be a time you may be a bit more indulgent in your child’s obsessive interests (sharks, star wars…) but only after nonpreferred is done, and don’t overindulge. Also, in the same vein, there can be a tendency to isolate and avoid social encounters; be sure to incorporate supervised social encounters into the calendar, and you may find it helpful to plan trips to the zoo, local library, autism-friendly theatre, and bookstore. Also, don’t forget for all kiddos, daily running around and lots of physical activity. ### **Childcare, Babysitting, and Summer Camps** Babysitters and childcare tend to get filled up pretty quickly, so don’t delay in connecting with that local teenager who does a great job with your kids, or that daycare provider who comes highly recommended by your friends. Reserve the spots and make deposits, based on that schedule mentioned earlier. Also, start now to reserve spots for summer camps; they fill up very quickly. If your child has special needs and will be attending a therapeutic camp, call your child’s case manager for an updated list of camps, and contact your child’s psychologist to obtain a current prescription. If you want to enroll your special needs child into a typical camp or activity, and believe he’ll need individualized attention, you may be able to obtain [IBHS (formerly ‘wraparound services’)](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/) to provide such attention. Contact this psychologist to further discuss this option. ##### **Daily Routine** Summer is time for relaxation, being laidback, and being more flexible and free-flowing. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Maintaining some semblance of routine can be helpful, especially if it involves getting past the less favored tasks (chores, academics) to move on to more fun, sun-filled activities. If your child has special needs, then maintaining a consistent routine is even more important. In fact, be sure he knows about the schedule, what to expect, and answer any questions ahead of time. A picture schedule is also advised. ### **As the Summer Winds Down** I hate to write about the summer ending when it hasn’t even begun, but keep in mind the importance of getting more and more into a school routine as the summer comes to a close. The last week of summer should be very close to the school routine in terms of bedtime and wake-up. **Okay, that about wraps it up for now. Have a wonderful summer!!!** ### Dr. John Carosso's ebook: ABA in a Parent-Friendly Format. URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:32.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Okay so lets review %E2%80%93 what is ABA](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/#Okay%5Fso%5Flets%5Freview%5F%E2%80%93%5Fwhat%5Fis%5FABA) - - - [What is it used to treat](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent-friendly-format/#What%5Fis%5Fit%5Fused%5Fto%5Ftreat) ## **Okay, so let’s review – what is ABA?** In my latest book, [*Managing the 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Problems of Our Day*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/), I devote a chapter to Applied Behavior Analysis, or “ABA”. This ‘ABA’ approach is seemingly mysterious, frequently cited, but mostly misunderstood. Put simply, it is a systematized and regimented series of approaches to analyze, understand, and modify behavior. The approaches are applied to daily life demands and circumstances. #### **What is it used to treat?** Applied Behavior Analysis is typically geared toward the treatment of autism. However, ABA is used to treat any type of behavior and any condition we want to understand and modify. This can range from a child being off task during math class to a child exhibiting self-stimulatory behavior during free time. --- **You can read the interactive eBook on my Substack**! [**CLICK HERE**](https://open.substack.com/pub/helpkidsthrive/p/dr-john-carossos-ebook-aba-in-a-parent?r=4v0vgr&utm%5Fcampaign=post&utm%5Fmedium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) --- For more parenting resources, or to set an appointment, check out the [Community Psychiatric Centers' website](http://cpcwecare.com/psychiatriccenters/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### Dr. Carosso’s eBook: The ADHD Diagnosis, Severity Level, and Treatment Options URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-carossos-ebook-the-adhd-diagnosis-severity-level-and-treatment-options/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:27.000Z Have you wondered how we go about diagnosing ADHD? How do we determine mild from severe cases, and how does the severity level impact treatment options? Well, this eBook explains all that, and then some. You’ll also learn about the standard of care for ADHD to help your child meet his or her fullest potential. --- **You can read the interactive eBook on my Substack**! [**CLICK HERE**](https://open.substack.com/pub/helpkidsthrive/p/dr-carossos-ebook-the-adhd-diagnosis?r=4v0vgr&utm%5Fcampaign=post&utm%5Fmedium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) --- For more resources about ADHD, or to set an appointment, check out the rest of [HelpForYourChild.com](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### Dr. Carosso’s eBook: The Most Common Discipline Methods Don’t Work: Here’s Why and How to Make them Work URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-most-common-discipline-methods-dont-work-heres-why-and-how-to-make-them-work/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:29.000Z Have you ever wondered why the discipline approaches you’ve been using, such as taking away the video games or putting your child in a timeout, don’t work so well? This eBook gives the answer and, even better, explains in a detailed fashion why and what to do about it. EBook Summary: - **Grounding/Taking away privileges** \- The pitfalls and challenges involved in that discipline method - **Taking away items -** The pitfalls and challenges involved in that discipline method - **Time Outs** \- the pitfalls and the challenges involved in that discipline method - **What does work? -** How to make typical methods more effective for children, teens, and young adults --- Read my expanded content eBook on Substack! [**CLICK HERE**](https://open.substack.com/pub/helpkidsthrive/p/dr-carossos-ebook-the-most-common?r=4v0vgr&utm%5Fcampaign=post&utm%5Fmedium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true) --- There is a lot of useful information at [*HelpForYourChild.com*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### Learn About Dyslexia and How To Get Help! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:13.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is Dyslexia](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#What%5Fis%5FDyslexia) - - [%E2%80%98Dyslexia vs a %E2%80%98Learning Disability](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#%E2%80%98Dyslexia%5Fvs%5Fa%5F%E2%80%98Learning%5FDisability) - - [Genetics](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#Genetics) - - [More than just a reading disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#More%5Fthan%5Fjust%5Fa%5Freading%5Fdisorder) - [The foundation of treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#The%5Ffoundation%5Fof%5Ftreatment) - [Practice makes perfect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#Practice%5Fmakes%5Fperfect) - [Get help at DyslexiaTreaterscom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/learn-about-dyslexia-and-how-to-get-help/#Get%5Fhelp%5Fat%5FDyslexiaTreaterscom) Reading issues are frustrating for both children and parents. If your child is struggling and you have concerns about dyslexia, this post covers signs of dyslexia and effective treatment options. ## **What is Dyslexia?** I am often asked by parents to assess their child for dyslexia. This process usually leads to a discussion about the nature of dyslexia and how a parent can help. ### **‘Dyslexia’ vs a ‘Learning Disability’** Dyslexia (disorder of reading) and Dysgraphia (disorder of writing) are two conditions that are often labeled by school districts, more generally as a “Specific Learning Disability”. In fact, over 90% of students classified as having a ‘Specific Learning Disability’ (and given an IEP) are classified as such because they have dyslexia. #### **Genetics?** Dyslexia is almost always inherited; if a child has dyslexia, there is about a 50/50 chance at least one parent has the issue as well. ##### **More than just a reading disorder** Dyslexia is, essentially, a problem decoding words. Think of reading as a process of sounding out letters that are arranged in a particular order; like deciphering a code. Children with dyslexia have a weakness in that ability. However, these kiddo’s are, at the same time, quite intelligent and capable, but struggle with that specific task of sounding out words. Interestingly, dyslexia, more broadly, is also a problem with the processing of language; kids have difficulty processing the sequence of sounds that comprise spoken words. Consequently, you get words like “psghetti” and “amninal.” These kiddos sometimes genuinely don’t ‘hear’ themselves saying the words incorrectly so it’s difficult for them to self-correct. Moreover, they also struggle with visually processing specific sounds. Consequently, they may read “gut” for “glut” and so on. #### **The foundation of treatment** All of the effective strategies are based on a ‘multi-sensory’ approach that incorporates, in the learning process, visual, auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic senses. In that respect, a child may be shown the word, asked to say the word, hear it spoken by the teacher, write the word on paper, and write the word or letter (using his finger) on a rough surface. Consequently, the child is receiving varied feedback (visual, auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic) regarding how that word looks, sounds, feels, and is written. The Orton-Gillingham approach is commonly used and incorporates this multi-sensory approach. ### **Practice makes perfect** Moreover, a productive practice-strategy is to read a selected book to your child, then ask your child to read to you. Use your index or pointer finger to track each word from left to right as you read. Pause for punctuation so your child will learn prosody, and to allow your child to catch their breath before beginning the next sentence. As reading skills improve, ask your child to read aloud to you, reminding them to use their index finger and pause for punctuation. ## **Get help at DyslexiaTreaters.com** Check-out our online tutoring program at the [*Dyslexia Diagnostic and Treatment Center*](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com)*.* We have Reading Specialists who are Certified in the treatment of dyslexia, and knowledgeable in Orton-Gillingham approaches. Our sessions are available online and are very reasonably priced at $30.00 a session. Our goal is to also offer you guidance and strategies to help your child throughout the week. I trust you found this helpful - don't hesitate to ask any questions at [jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com](mailto:jcarosso@dyslexiatreaters.com). ### Is 'Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)' a Valid Diagnosis? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:41.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is an auditory processing disorder APD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#What%5Fis%5Fan%5Fauditory%5Fprocessing%5Fdisorder%5FAPD) - - [Some of the specific signs](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#Some%5Fof%5Fthe%5Fspecific%5Fsigns) - [Is APD valid](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#Is%5FAPD%5Fvalid) - - [My thoughts on the matter](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#My%5Fthoughts%5Fon%5Fthe%5Fmatter) - - [However having said that%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#However%5Fhaving%5Fsaid%5Fthat%E2%80%A6) - [Lets take a look again at that list of APD symptoms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#Lets%5Ftake%5Fa%5Flook%5Fagain%5Fat%5Fthat%5Flist%5Fof%5FAPD%5Fsymptoms) - - - [How to make the distinction](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#How%5Fto%5Fmake%5Fthe%5Fdistinction) - - [A distinction without a difference](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#A%5Fdistinction%5Fwithout%5Fa%5Fdifference) - [Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#Treatment) - - [As always I hope that helps to clarify the situation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-auditory-processing-disorder-apd-a-valid-diagnosis/#As%5Falways%5FI%5Fhope%5Fthat%5Fhelps%5Fto%5Fclarify%5Fthe%5Fsituation) ## **What is an auditory processing disorder (APD)?** Quite simply, it’s a difficulty with the processing of auditory information. Usually, APD is diagnosed by an audiologist. ### **Some of the specific signs** Here are some of the specific symptoms of APD: Difficulty with: - auditory discrimination - auditory memory - auditory sequencing - hearing speech in a noisy environment - maintaining attention - locating the source of a sound - following directions - learning to read ## **Is APD valid?** There is considerable controversy in this respect. Some say yes, it is valid, while others say it’s not. Keep in mind that a condition is considered a “disorder” when it has a distinct set of features or symptoms that can be clearly differentiated from any other condition. ### **My thoughts on the matter** Note that APD is not a formal behavioral health diagnosis; it does not exist in the DSM-V. However, clearly, a lot of well-established clinicians, particularly audiologists, seem to think it’s a valid disorder, so who am I to say otherwise? #### **However, having said that…** I tend to fall into the camp that it’s not so valid. In that respect, over the past 35 years of practice, I’ve had lots of parents indicating their child has been diagnosed with APD or the parent has concerns their child may have an APD. However, invariably, I have found a better explanation for the problem rather than anything having to do with a specific disorder of auditory processing. ## **Let’s take a look again at that list of APD symptoms:** Problems with: - auditory discrimination - auditory memory - auditory sequencing - hearing speech in a noisy environment - maintaining attention - locating the source of a sound - following directions - learning to read Can you contemplate some other condition(s) that can cause those problems? In that respect, I tend to find children, for whom there is a concern of having an APD, instead tend to struggle, more generally, with attention problems (ADD or ADHD), academic problems (dyslexia), developmental issues (autism), or with language issues (problems with expressive and receptive language). #### **How to make the distinction?** A child who struggles to pay attention is going to have difficulty following instructions. They fully understand the words, and process the information just fine, but get distracted too easily to follow-through. A child who was a late talker, has continued to need speech and language therapy, is not yet talking at an age-commensurate level, and has issues with enunciation is likely also going to have receptive language issues that, by definition, is interfering with the processing of auditory information. Lastly, dyslexia can often extend to a broader language-based disorder resulting in difficulty ascertaining phonemics, or the sounds associated with letters and words. Again, this is an aspect of a language-based issue and does not appear to be purely an element of poor auditory processing. ##### **A distinction without a difference?** There is so much overlap between APD and these other conditions, and much of the treatment interventions also overlap, that to some extent it’s a distinction without a difference. However, I would contend that a deficiency in auditory processing is a symptom of another condition (ADD, autism, dyslexia, language issues…), not a distinct disorder all by itself. ### **Treatment?** We treat the underlying condition. If the child is struggling with attention-deficit, we keep the environment structured, quiet, organized, distraction-free, speak in clear and simple terms, ask to repeat instructions, utilize extra prompting, reduce background noise, and utilize a sticker chart for task completion. If the child has a language disorder, we do all the above along with speech/language therapy. If dyslexia, we implement all the above (albeit not necessarily S/L therapy) along with a multi-sensory reading instruction approach. #### **As always, I hope that helps to clarify the situation.** If you’re seeking more information on the matter, check out my new book, [*Managing the Five Most Challenging Child Behavioral Health Conditions of Our Day*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/), on sale at [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Challenging-Childhood-Behavioral-Conditions/dp/1647185025?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Additionally, there is a lot of useful information at [*HelpForYourChild.com*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). Please feel free to reach out with any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### Do Children Really Have ‘Learning Styles’ and What’s The Best Way to Teach? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:11.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is learning style theory](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#What%5Fis%5Flearning%5Fstyle%5Ftheory) - - [Is the theory accurate or valid](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#Is%5Fthe%5Ftheory%5Faccurate%5For%5Fvalid) - [What do you mean %E2%80%98learning styles dont make any difference](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#What%5Fdo%5Fyou%5Fmean%5F%E2%80%98learning%5Fstyles%5Fdont%5Fmake%5Fany%5Fdifference) - - [Quite a revelation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#Quite%5Fa%5Frevelation) - - [So if thats true then what is the best way to teach](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#So%5Fif%5Fthats%5Ftrue%5Fthen%5Fwhat%5Fis%5Fthe%5Fbest%5Fway%5Fto%5Fteach) - [Whats more%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#Whats%5Fmore%E2%80%A6) - - [DyslexiaTreaterscom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#DyslexiaTreaterscom) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-children-really-have-learning-styles-and-whats-the-best-way-to-teach/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ## **What is learning style theory?** We’re all familiar with the theory that children have their own learning styles, whether visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. So, one child may learn better by ‘seeing’ the material, another by hearing the information, and another through movement. ### **Is the theory accurate or valid?** Well, yes and no. It’s clear that children have learning preferences. Some may, in fact, prefer to ‘see’ the material while others listen to lectures. However, our brains are too complex to be that simple. So, ultimately, no, the theory is not valid. There is abundant evidence in that respect including from the journal, *Psychological Science in the Public Interest* (20018). ## **What do you mean ‘learning styles’ don’t make any difference?** The research clearly indicates that catering to individual learning styles doesn’t seem to make a difference in terms of actually learning the material. A person may think they are a ‘visual learner’, or a teacher may have been told a particular student is an ‘auditory learner’, but when taught in that particular mode, as opposed to another, research clearly has shown that it doesn’t make a difference in the child’s ability to actually learn the material. A ‘visual learner’, taught in a visual manner, won’t learn any better than if taught in an auditory manner. Go figure – the human brain just doesn’t work that way and is far too complex, multi-integrated, redundant, and God-inspiringly wonderous to function in such a simplistic and straightforward manner. ### **Quite a revelation** We have been told so many times, for so long, that every child has their own learning style, that we must discover that individual learning style, and teach to that learning style, that it may seem unfathomable to hear otherwise. However, if we’re genuinely going to ‘follow the science’ then that’s where the science has led us. #### **So, if that’s true, then what is the best way to teach?** How a subject matter is taught (or learned) depends on the material being taught. In that respect, some material is more conducive to the visual (geography, math formulas, geometry…), while others are more suited to auditory (music, languages, history…). However, we all know that ultimately the best teaching-style is multi-sensory; it includes more than one modality. The best teachers have always known this fact and have incorporated this concept into their daily teaching. So, a student is lectured about the revolutionary war (auditory), shown pictures of battles from the war and diagrams of supply lines and strategy (visual), and maybe even role-play some decisive scenes (kinesthetic). We do the same at home. Another example: when teaching children with dyslexia how to read, we instruct them to write the letter or word (visual and kinesthetic), express the corresponding sound (auditory), hear the sound from the teacher (auditory), move their body in the shape of the letter (kinesthetic), and trace the letters in sand (kinesthetic and tactile). ### **What’s more…** Yes, there is more to it than that. In addition to this multi-sensory approach, we also need to be disciplined in our approach. This means carrying-out daily and rigorous instruction, having a consistent routine, sticking to a game-plan, keeping the environment organized and distraction-free, giving breaks as needed, and promoting motivation through tons of reinforcement and making it fun. Will all of those elements always be successfully carried-out by any given teacher or parent? No, they won’t; but we do the best we can and try to keep the bar high. #### **DyslexiaTreaters.com** Just a friendly reminder that we offer online supportive tutoring from our wonderful, Dyslexia-Certified Reading Specialists. We offer a free introductory session, then follow-up sessions, if you so choose, at only $30.00 a session and we’ll give you daily exercises to carry-out with your kiddo. ? See more at [*DyslexiaTreaters.com*](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). ### **Hope that helps** My goal is to help your child learn to his or her fullest potential and to help you in that process. I hope this post helped to clarify and streamline your approach. Of course, as always, if you have any questions, please email me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com) and check us out at [*DyslexiaTreaters.com*](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) and[ *HelpForYourChild.com*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/). ### Treatment Options for Adult with Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-options-for-adult-with-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:24.000Z Social skills groups and parent support groups have long been a component of effective autism care, and for good reason. Peer-based social skills programming gives autistic children a structured, low-stakes environment to practice interaction, read social cues, and build confidence with others who share similar experiences. Parent support groups offer caregivers something equally valuable: community, shared knowledge, and validation from others who understand the day-to-day reality of raising a child with autism. While group formats are a valuable part of the broader autism care landscape, Autism Centers of Pittsburgh focuses on individualized evaluation and clinical services tailored to each child and family. Contact ACP to learn how we can support your child's social and behavioral development. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Let’s Talk About “IBHS” URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:21.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is this %E2%80%9CIBHS%E2%80%9D everyone is talking about](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/#What%5Fis%5Fthis%5F%E2%80%9CIBHS%E2%80%9D%5Feveryone%5Fis%5Ftalking%5Fabout) - - - [How is it different from BHRS](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/#How%5Fis%5Fit%5Fdifferent%5Ffrom%5FBHRS) - [What is the purpose of IBHS](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/#What%5Fis%5Fthe%5Fpurpose%5Fof%5FIBHS) - [How is IBHS different from BHRS for the Provider](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-ibhs/#How%5Fis%5FIBHS%5Fdifferent%5Ffrom%5FBHRS%5Ffor%5Fthe%5FProvider) ## **What is this “IBHS” everyone is talking about?** Intensive Behavioral Health Services (IBHS) is a transition from Behavioral Health Rehabilitative Services (BHRS), or “wraparound” services. IBHS officially began January 17, 2021. #### **How is it different from BHRS?** From a parent’s perspective, there is not much difference from BHRS. You’ll have essentially the same staff but with different titles. For example, TSS is now called a BHT (Behavioral Health Technician), Mobile Therapist is still Mobile Therapist, and BSC is now simply “Behavioral Consultant”. A social skills group is now classified under “Group Services”. This staff provides essentially the same services as BHRS. Classifications include “Individual Services” that targets general behavioral health, and “ABA”, which is geared toward children who have more complex issues such as moderate to severe autism. The prescription is also written monthly as opposed to weekly. So, you might see a prescription that reads “Behavioral Consultant (BC-ABA) up to 15 hours per month…” or “Behavioral Health Technician (BHT-Individual Services) up to 30 hours per month in the home and community…” #### **What is the purpose of IBHS?** The primary goal has been to increase the ease with which a parent can procure these services for their child and to increase the extent to which staff can be located to provide the services. In that respect, there are fewer hoops to jump through to get and keep IBHS, and the BHT can have a high school diploma (as opposed to a Bachelor’s Degree) given the proper training. ## **How is IBHS different from BHRS for the Provider?** There are notable changes for the Provider including far more stringent regulations for training, supervision, and credentials, which is a good thing for parents and children in regards to the quality of service. If you’re really bored and ambitious, here are the actual IBHS regs: [http://www.pacodeandbulletin.gov/Display/pabull?file=/secure/pabulletin/data/vol49/49-42/1554b.html](https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A%5F%5Fwww.pacodeandbulletin.gov%5FDisplay%5Fpabull-3Ffile-3D%5Fsecure%5Fpabulletin%5Fdata%5Fvol49%5F49-2D42%5F1554b.html&d=DwMFaQ&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A%5FCdpgnVfiiMM&r=6oeq4WXIkTKoKelm8RGPZeG%5Fl0OALr0-e42zB3D-J9Y&m=NDTKOMPjJhD2dmF0OMAr0FLranFoLkDrV5CoZ1fXNqA&s=8NAEv8qxdwSnu%5Fps6HhV2V8tvzlEg86j90w%5F%5FLn8fpM&e=&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) Hope that helps to explain the basics of IBHS. We are available here at [*Community Psychiatric Centers*](https://www.cpcwecare.com/contact/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) to provide this valuable service, as well as our licensed outpatient mental health clinic, and medication management from Dr. Lowenstein. Feel free to forward any questions to me at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). ### Is “Oppositional Defiant Disorder" a Diagnosis or a Symptom, and How is it Treated? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:02.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#What%5Fis%5FOppositional%5FDefiant%5FDisorder) - - - [Not due to%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#Not%5Fdue%5Fto%E2%80%A6) - - [So what causes ODD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#So%5Fwhat%5Fcauses%5FODD) - [When is ODD actually ODD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#When%5Fis%5FODD%5Factually%5FODD) - - [However Ive found%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#However%5FIve%5Ffound%E2%80%A6) - [Treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-or-odd-a-diagnosis-or-a-symptom-and-how-is-it-treated/#Treatment) **In my latest book,** [***Managing the 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Health Conditions of Our Day,***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/)I write about behavioral challenges and some of the overlapping conditions. In today’s post, I want to share more about the idiosyncrasies of the condition referred to as “Oppositional Defiant Disorder,” or ODD. ## **What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder?** Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a disorder that manifests, as the name implies, with significant levels of oppositionality and defiance. Specifically, the child demonstrates an angry and irritable mood, is argumentative and defiant, and prone to being vindictive. In children 5 or younger, these behaviors would need to be observed most days for at least six months; older than 5, at least once per week for six months. #### **Not due to…** It’s important to note that the symptoms cannot be better explained by a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder. ##### **So, what causes ODD?** That is the 64,000 dollar question and, really, it’s a important point. In that respect, I’ve tended to perceive signs of ODD more as symptoms than as a primary diagnosis. ### **When is ODD, actually ODD?** There are times when a child is very strong-willed and seems to have been born with a hard-nosed disposition; everything is a fight, argumentative, and moody. In those situations, in the absence of any other identifiable diagnosis, ODD may fit. Interestingly, that situation is often genetic; invariably I hear how the child is similar to an uncle or some other family member, even if they rarely come in contact with that relative. Also, if a child has experienced very difficult situations, such as family turmoil and strife, but there is simply not enough evidence to diagnose with a mood disorder or trauma, then ODD may fit but there will be a caveat explained in the report. #### **However, I’ve found…** In most cases, when a child is presenting as argumentative, moody, and defiant, there is an underlying reason. In those cases, ODD is more of a symptom than a diagnosis. I often find that children who have been diagnosed with ODD, upon closer look at the situation, actually do meet criteria for some other primary diagnosis, and it’s that primary diagnosis that is causing the argumentativeness, moodiness, and defiance. This may include a mood disorder or that the child is traumatized; keep in mind that children tend to act the way they feel. ## **Treatment?** If the child does, in fact, have straight-forward ODD, then the treatment is largely based in counseling and behavior management. In that respect, counseling targets coping skills and helping the child to get his or her needs met without causing mayhem, as well as an opportunity to vent frustrations. The counseling is also for the parent to help with communication and to practice reflective-listening, which is a wonderful approach. If interested in learning about reflective listening, check out the first chapter of the book ‘*How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk”*, Adele and Mazlish. Behavior management is simply, ‘how are we going to manage his behavior’? We want to move toward respectful communication, ‘talking things out to problem-solve’, and a reasonable and logical dialogue in that respect. However, that takes time. So, in the meantime, we want to rely on lots of praise and reinforcement for making good choices, a sticker chart, a consistent routine, and firm but fair limits. We want to avoid our biggest enemy when it comes to parenting; pestering and becoming emotional. Also, check out my earlier post, [***Why Taking Away Privileges and Time-Out Don’t Work***](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-taking-away-privileges-and-time-out-dont-work/)(and how to make them work), which soon will be expanded into an eBook and podcast. If the ODD is due to an underlying condition, then we treat that underlying condition; this too involves counseling (geared directly toward depression, anxiety, trauma, family harmony) and behavioral management. Hope that helps to explain and clarify the ODD diagnosis. Feel free to send any inquiries my way to [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). May God bless you and your family. ### Autism Spectrum Disorder vs Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder: What Are the Similarities and Treatment Strategies? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-spectrum-disorder-vs-social-pragmatic-communication-disorder-spcd-what-are-the-similarities-and-treatment-strategies/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:25.000Z Autism Spectrum Disorder and Social (Pragmatic) Communication Disorder share overlapping features, particularly in the area of social communication. However, they are distinct diagnoses with different diagnostic criteria and treatment implications. The key differentiator is the presence or absence of restricted, repetitive behaviors: ASD includes them; SPCD does not. Getting this distinction right matters clinically because misdiagnosis can lead to inappropriate treatment planning. Both conditions benefit from speech-language therapy and social skills intervention, but the scope and emphasis differ. Accurate differential diagnosis requires comprehensive evaluation by a qualified clinician. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh specializes in nuanced diagnostic evaluations for children and adults. Visit our Autism FAQ for more on the diagnostic process, or contact us to schedule an evaluation. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Is Your Teen Depressed, or Is It The Lock-down, or Both? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:55.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The impact of lock-down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#The%5Fimpact%5Fof%5Flock-down) - [Is it really depression](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#Is%5Fit%5Freally%5Fdepression) - - - [Is this inevitable](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#Is%5Fthis%5Finevitable) - [Is there a target audience](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#Is%5Fthere%5Fa%5Ftarget%5Faudience) - [What to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#What%5Fto%5Fdo) - [Summing it up](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-depressed-or-is-it-the-lock-down-or-both/#Summing%5Fit%5Fup) I write about improving self-esteem and academics in my new book, [*Managing the 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Health Conditions of Our Day,*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/) and clearly we face a particularly difficult situation with our present-day pandemic and school-hybrid/lock-down situation. ### **The impact of lock-down** I am seeing more kids and teens struggling with their ‘down’ mood, lack of productivity, declining grades, and deflating self-esteem. The teen appears depressed, and parents are alarmed and unsure of how to manage the situation. ### **Is it really depression?** The situation in which we find ourselves is, well, quite depressing. It would not be surprising that, as a result, our kids are feeling somewhat down in mood. In that respect, teens are more prone to confine in their room essentially all day, sometimes even stay in bed to complete their classwork, are tempted by a multitude of distractions in their room and home that interfere with assignments and, as a result, their grades are dropping, they don’t see their friends and lack the stimulation of the outside world, and are ultimately faced with bickering parents that results in a stressful family dynamic. In this scenario, nobody wins. ##### **Is this inevitable?** No, it’s not across the board. Some children and parents are doing well and, in that respect, enjoying the lock-down and working from home, which is wonderful for them. ##### **Is there a target audience?** Yes, it seems that teens are more negatively impacted, as well as select children with more notable developmental issues. In that respect, children are more likely, than teens, to be ‘happy little campers’ who tend to engage with their family. However, teens are more inclined to remain in their room, even when there is no pandemic. Consequently, with the current school-hybrid situations, and lockdowns, the teen remains isolated in their room for far longer periods of time. Additionally, children with some developmental issues, including autism, need direct instruction in the classroom with trained teachers, and, in the absence of such, they notably suffer. In fact, from what I see, the damage of this hybrid system, and lock-down, predominately outweigh potential benefits, but that’s just me. #### **What to do?** During my discussions with parents and teens, a particular regimen is discussed. The more the teen adheres to this regimen, the better off they will be. The protocol includes: - Setting an alarm for at least 30 minutes before logging-in to school. This provides time to wash-up, groom, get properly dressed for the day, eat breakfast, and prepare for class. - Establish a workplace outside of the bedroom, preferably where parents are available. - Establish a consistent ‘after school’ schedule to complete homework and study time. - Schedule out-of-the-home time to see friends and be involved in other activities. ### **Summing it up** We are all facing difficult times and hoping this will soon pass. In the meantime, our kids need to be out-of-their room; dressed and groomed; prepared to start the school day in an organized work-space, adhere to a schedule, and active. Of course, you may have more success in some areas than others with your teen, but every bit helps. God bless you and your family during these times, and God-speed for a return to normalcy. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:08.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - [What Im expected to do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/#What%5FIm%5Fexpected%5Fto%5Fdo%E2%80%A6) - [Is there more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/#Is%5Fthere%5Fmore) - - [Seems only fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/#Seems%5Fonly%5Ffitting) - [Tap into the Source](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/#Tap%5Finto%5Fthe%5FSource) - [May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/title-christmas-gift-of-faith/#May%5FGod%5Fdeeply%5Fbless%5Fyou%5Fand%5Fyours%5Fduring%5Fthis%5FChristmas%5Fseason) Written by Dr. John Carosso ***As a Christmas tradition, here is one of my favorite posts, and hopefully yours as well, highlighting the true gift of Christmas!!*** ### **What I’m expected to do…** As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). ### **Is there more?** Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? #### **Seems only fitting** During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ### **Tap into the Source** Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? ## May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. ### Holiday ‘Blues’, or Something More? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/holiday-blues-or-something-more-serious/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:01.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [How Common](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/holiday-blues-or-something-more-serious/#How%5FCommon) - [Kids and Teens affected too](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/holiday-blues-or-something-more-serious/#Kids%5Fand%5FTeens%5Faffected%5Ftoo) - [What to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/holiday-blues-or-something-more-serious/#What%5Fto%5Fdo) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/holiday-blues-or-something-more-serious/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) The holiday season can be stressful, and we have lots of memories of [lost loved ones](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/helping-children-deal-with-loss-tragedy-and-fears/) that tend to surface more poignantly during this time of the year. Clearly, our mood can subsequently take a hit. However, in addition, how many of you can relate to the dismay of darkness settling-in as early as 5:00 pm? I know it gets me down in the dumps. For some, however, it’s more than just feeling somewhat ‘blue’ in mood; some struggle with severe bouts of depression during this time of year, known as ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (SAD). This type of depressed mood differs from classic depression in that the onset is rather predictable, usually around September or October, and corresponds with the shortening of daylight. ##### **How Common?** As would be expected, depends on where you live. If you’re lucky enough to live in the cold Northern regions, rates go as high as 20%, but as low as 2% in brighter climates. Oh well, guess that’s bad news for all of us here in Pennsylvania. #### **Kids and Teens affected too?** This is not an adult-only malady. SAD usually begins in the teen years and strikes girls four times more than boys. Interestingly, teens born in the Spring or Summer are more likely to suffer from SAD than those born in the colder months. Not sure why, but might be because of how a child is light-programmed from early on in their life. #### **What to do?** Well, short of moving to Florida where it’s still dark but at least it’s warm and not so cloudy, treatment involves the systematic use of light. Guess this makes sense given the problem is based in lack of light. The ‘phototherapy’ involves sitting briefly in front of box that emits intense light, or the use of a Dawn Simulator; both are quite effective as well as traditional cognitive-behavioral talk therapy, and medication. ### **Hope that helps** I wish you and yours the cheeriest and happiest of a Holiday Season. However, if you’re feeling down, lacking in motivation, and blah in mood, or you notice your kids being exceptionally moody or agitated during the Fall and Winter months, then please do not hesitate to get help. You can reach me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) or call 724-850-7200\. You can find out more about SAD in an article on the e-Edition of the Exponent Telegram where I was interviewed about this form of depression. Check it out at [www.exponent-telegram.com](https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A%5F%5Fwww.exponent-2Dtelegram.com%5F&d=DwMFaQ&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A%5FCdpgnVfiiMM&r=6oeq4WXIkTKoKelm8RGPZeG%5Fl0OALr0-e42zB3D-J9Y&m=240FTc5OkEzMwQe5U3xeoZQf0EV-RcO3pzv7IUgUeaE&s=3Dws-xZm4VJmdWed43MLUDM0qkiwMYfdlhIyce82LVI&e=&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) God bless. ### Dyslexia: Six Points to Make a Difference URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:37.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [1 Early Diagnosis](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#1%5FEarly%5FDiagnosis) - [2 Know Your Childs Reading Level](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#2%5FKnow%5FYour%5FChilds%5FReading%5FLevel) - - [3 Read With Your Child 30 Minutes Each Day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#3%5FRead%5FWith%5FYour%5FChild%5F30%5FMinutes%5FEach%5FDay) - [4 Find Your Childs Reading Strength](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#4%5FFind%5FYour%5FChilds%5FReading%5FStrength) - - [5 Help Your Child Find the Sounds of Spoken Language](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#5%5FHelp%5FYour%5FChild%5FFind%5Fthe%5FSounds%5Fof%5FSpoken%5FLanguage) - [6 Pulling Apart and Putting Together](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-six-points-to-make-a-difference/#6%5FPulling%5FApart%5Fand%5FPutting%5FTogether) I’ve written extensively about how to effectively treat and manage **dyslexia** in my new book, [*Managing the 5 Most Challenging Childhood Behavioral Health Conditions of Our Day*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-5-most-challenging-childhood-behavioral-health-conditions-of-our-day/). For this post, I worked together with **Mrs. Cynthia Postell**, our wonderful *Reading Specialist/Online Tutor* at [***DyslexiaTreaters.com***](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), to develop six important points about this common academic difficulty: ### **1\. Early Diagnosis** It’s rare for a school district to conduct a full educational evaluation prior to the second grade. In that respect, a student will rarely qualify prior to that benchmark, and school districts also often wait and see if your child is academically challenged solely due to immaturity. However, if you find your child is more than one grade level behind, it’s likely best to request an evaluation and ensure involvement in any available school programs, such as Title I. A full scope of intervention is vital: some interventions can promote a student’s progress of a half-years growth over an entire school year. However, at that rate, a student in the fifth grade might possibly be reading at a second-grade level. Don’t wait, be the best cheerleader and advocate for your child. ### **2\. Know Your Child's Reading Level** Your child’s ‘reading level’ is their instructional level, i.e. at what level they can read with minimal support and feel good about themselves. The reading level for your child may be in the form of a Lexile Number or an alphabet letter associated with a Guided Reading Level, developed by Fontas and Pinnell. Once you’ve been provided the reading level, find resources for your child. These reading resources are available free from public, online or school libraries. There are also free online resources available from openlibrary.org, Oxford Owl, Storyline Online, and other resources. #### **3\. Read With Your Child 30 Minutes Each Day** A productive strategy is to read a selected book to your child, then ask your child to read to you. ALWAYS use your index or pointer finger to track each word from left to right as you read. Pause for punctuation so your child will learn prosody, and to allow your child to catch their breath before beginning the next sentence. As reading skills improve, ask your child to read aloud to you, reminding your kiddo to use their index finger and pause for punctuation. ### **4\. Find Your Child's Reading Strength** Is your child intellectual and has good reasoning skills, or are they more artsy and creative? Do they have a talent for predicting what will happen, or can they visualize and create a vivid mental picture? Does your child actively use their imagination and have the ability to be the change for innovation and ideas? Do they love horses, sharks or construction equipment? Do they want to be an astronomer, a musician or a marine biologist? Leverage those interests and strengths by finding books and material of special interest to them, which will inspire a love for reading. #### **5\. Help Your Child Find the Sounds of Spoken Language** You can help your child develop phonemic awareness, or the awareness of individual sounds in words. The first step is the development of the awareness of rhyme, which can be a game rather than a chore. Begin by thinking of a three-letter word, such as “big”, and engage the whole family by coming up with words that rhyme, dig, gig, jig, pig or wig. The fun aspect about this rhyming game is that the words can be nonsense words too. When your child starts to make up rhyming nonsense words and realizes they don’t make sense, that's a sign they are building knowledge of language, so encourage them and use nonsense words too. You can also help sensitize your child to rhyme by reading aloud stories and poems; some favorites are Dr. Suess, Sandra Boynton, Karma Wilson, Shel Silverstein and many more. ### **6\. Pulling Apart and Putting Together** The next step towards phonemic awareness is blending and segmenting. A fun activity is by clapping or tapping syllables with your child. Initially, put your flattened hand under your chin to feel the syllable segmentation. If you over-emphasize the movement of your jaw as you say the words, you will feel the movement; this movement can be counted as individual syllables. Once your child is comfortable segmenting words and counting syllables in this way, your child can learn to clap their hands or tap their knee to count syllables. Combining syllables is the next skill to practice; ask your child, “Can you tell me what word “kit…. ten” makes? Continue to practice pulling apart and putting together syllables until your child is fluently reading. These strategies are only the beginning, but a solid place to start. Another bonus suggestion: find a list of Dolch sight words, high frequency words, and the *Fry First 300* words. Create flashcards or use technology to create Quizlet games and practice them daily. Most high frequency and sight words do not follow common spelling rules yet have to be recognizable on sight and texts are full of them. This practice will be advantageous to your emerging reader. Happy Reading!! ### Managing the Holiday Season URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:44.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Good Tidings%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Good%5FTidings%E2%80%A6) - - [But](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#But) - [Father and mother knows best](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Father%5Fand%5Fmother%5Fknows%5Fbest) - [Shopping](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Shopping) - [Keeping the schedule](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Keeping%5Fthe%5Fschedule) - [Gifts and Toys](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Gifts%5Fand%5FToys) - [Some Other Tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Some%5FOther%5FTips) - [Dont Miss the Season](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-the-holiday-season/#Dont%5FMiss%5Fthe%5FSeason) ### **Good Tidings…** The Christmas and New Years Holiday is magical and fun; a wonderful time of year that spreads warm feelings and cheer in families and communities throughout the world. The celebration is well deserved, and we all tend to look forward to this very special time of year. #### But... Yeah, there is a ‘but’ for many parents with kiddo’s struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and autism. In those homes, the hectic and often-times over-stimulating nature of this holiday season can bring about all sorts of behaviors, meltdowns, over-activity, and fixations. #### **Father (and mother) knows best** First, remember that you know your child best. Given the frequent changes in routine during the holiday season, you know whether your child fixates on the routine and if it’s best to not convey the daily schedule till the last minute, or if your child thrives on knowing the routine in advance and finds the information to be comforting. You also know whether it’s best to do all the decorations quickly, all at once, to get it over with; or if your child responds better to a slow and steady approach. #### **Shopping** You’ve also shopped enough with your child to know the best approach. The challenge during the Season is that these [shopping trips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/) are usually a bit longer, so it’s even more important to take breaks, have fun items to keep your kiddo’s busy, and work your way into each store maybe a bit slower than usual. Some kiddo’s respond well to headphones and darker tinted glasses. However, an added challenge is the necessity of masks, which some kids find intolerable. In that case, you’d likely have to avoid taking your child to the respective store unless you can convince your kiddo to wear a visor. Also, for younger children, some stores may forego the mask mandate. #### **Keeping the schedule** During the holidays, the daily routine that you’ve worked so hard to maintain usually becomes more unpredictable, but do your best to keep some semblance of routine and order. Social stories, written schedules, and visual schedules, and reminders can be very helpful. #### **Gifts and Toys** It can be helpful to wait until the last minute to arrange the gifts, given the temptation your child may face to open ahead of time. However, again, you know your child best and some find it very enticing and pleasant to see the presents, and would not dare open any until the designated time. Also, with that in mind, turn-taking to open presents can be coordinated by passing an ornament to whose turn it may be to open a present. Also, offering a quiet, out-of-the-way place for your kiddo to play with his new toys may also be helpful to avoid grabbing at other’s toys, becoming overly upset if somebody touches his toys, and causing disruption. #### Some Other Tips If your child has food sensitivities or is very finicky, you may want to bring some food along to Aunt Jennie’s house for the celebration. Also, before arriving, it may also help to show your kiddo pictures of who will be there, and what to expect every step of the way. Sometimes children respond better if they gradually mix-in with the crowd as opposed to all at once; and provide a ‘safe-haven’ if it becomes too overwhelming. You’re the best judge of how much your child can tolerate, so you’ll be keeping a watchful-eye, and intervening when necessary. Also, regarding the family, prepare them for what to expect from your kiddo and how they can help the situation rather than make it worse. ### Don't Miss the Season These were just a few tips to consider during this Christmas season. Most importantly; enjoy this time with your children, family, and friends. Relish these opportunities, no matter how chaotic or stressful they may become at times. In years ahead, you’ll look back and miss these days. Don’t miss them now. God bless you and your family during this blessed Christmas Season. ### Removing Your Child’s Electronics Without a Wrestling Match URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:08.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is the usual scenario](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#What%5Fis%5Fthe%5Fusual%5Fscenario) - - [Whats the alternative](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#Whats%5Fthe%5Falternative) - - [You could sneak](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#You%5Fcould%5Fsneak) - [There are various helpful applications](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#There%5Fare%5Fvarious%5Fhelpful%5Fapplications) - [Another option](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#Another%5Foption) - [I hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/#I%5Fhope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ## **What is the usual scenario?** You know the drill, you want to remove electronics as a punishment but, when you make the attempt, an emotional reaction ensues and your child or teen refuses to give-up his phone or video-game controller. If you push the matter, you end-up literally in a wrestling match, which you know is inappropriate and ill-advised, so you get worn-out over the course of time and may even give-up. ### **What’s the alternative?** I often suggest that parents avoid direct confrontations and heated arguments – nobody wins. I’ve written prior on the importance of relying on, for example, behavior charts as opposed to cajoling your child. In that respect, the behavior chart, not you, determines the privilege level. In any case, the same applies in this scenario; the goal is to remove the electronics, when necessary, with no direct confrontation. So, how do you do that? #### **You could sneak** Some parents have had a degree of success sneaking into their kid’s room and taking their phone or video-game controller. However, that is not always effective and, really, do we want to be sneaking around our own home? #### **There are various helpful applications** There are ways to simply shut-down your child’s video-games and phone. For example, *Family Circle* is easy to install and, through your router, allows you to turn off the wifi to any given device in the home, set a bedtime to automatically turn off the electronics, set time-limits, and use a ‘pause’ button. *Family Circle* can also shut-off the wifi for your child’s phone, but then they can simply use their data to be online even without the wifi. In that case, you have another app-related option; there are quite a number on the market, but one is [*Famisafe*](https://famisafe.wondershare.com/ad/parental-control-mobile.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiA3Y-ABhCnARIsAKYDH7vGRjNsAcahMVSpu9JnaNqkqAWf3G9OTSh-geBOYGjVyoFDhFEwsPYaAssfEALw%5FwcB&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com), which downloads into your phone and your child’s phone, then you can take control of the phone, regardless of wifi (you’ll also be able to control data usage), when you see fit to do so. The app is installed in one of two ways: you send a link to your child to download the app, or you’ll have to get physical access of the phone and download yourself. #### **Another option** If you contact your carrier, you can report the phone lost or stolen, and they will turn it off. Nothing changes on the phone (all the apps and connections will remain intact), and you simply call the carrier when you want the phone turned back on. According to *Sprint*, for example, you can make such a request as often as you want. ### **I hope that helps** The goal is to have a happy a harmonious home, which potentially can be enhanced if your child understands you can take control of his or her electronics at a moment’s notice, and without any direct confrontation. I hope this post helps in that process. May God bless you and your family. ### When Your Teen Resists Online Schooling During Covid URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:08.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The options from our local school districts](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#The%5Foptions%5Ffrom%5Four%5Flocal%5Fschool%5Fdistricts) - - [My position](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#My%5Fposition) - [If your child is in school full-time](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#If%5Fyour%5Fchild%5Fis%5Fin%5Fschool%5Ffull-time) - [What if my child is only in-the-school part-time](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#What%5Fif%5Fmy%5Fchild%5Fis%5Fonly%5Fin-the-school%5Fpart-time) - [How do I enforce](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#How%5Fdo%5FI%5Fenforce) - - [In the absence of Common Ground](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#In%5Fthe%5Fabsence%5Fof%5FCommon%5FGround) - [If your teen agrees](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#If%5Fyour%5Fteen%5Fagrees) - [Hope for the best plan for the worst](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-your-teen-resists-online-school-during-covid/#Hope%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Fbest%5Fplan%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Fworst) ## **The options from our local school districts** It seems that most parents are being provided the option of their child returning part-time in-the-classroom or full-time online. However, it seems that most of the elementary schools are more prone to offer full-time in-the-classroom while most high schools are offering part-time in-the-classroom and part-time online. It appears that a difficulty establishing what is deemed to be safe ‘social distancing’ at the high school level is the rationale for not offering full-time in-school programming. ### **My position** Not that my position is the end-all, but as a Clinical Child and School Psychologist with over 30-years of experience, I have clearly found, in the absence of an underlying medical condition, our kids need to be back, full-time, in the classroom. I can’t seem to find any medical “science” that suggests otherwise and behavioral health ‘science’ as well as my experience as a psychologist, with my own kids, and in talking to all of you who are parents of kids, unequivocally sites the damage to kids from not being educated in the classroom. It is quite frustrating for me, as a child advocate, and parent, to see how this is playing out. I have any number of opinions as to why this is happening but, rather, I will focus today’s post on how to make this situation somewhat workable, especially when your teen resists. ### **If your child is in school full-time** If your child is in elementary school and going to school full time, then you’re all set. We trust that the powers-that-be will not change course, and your focus will be on your child returning to school and preparing for the change in routine from the summer. I’ve written a lot on that subject, so simply see my prior posts on preparing your child for the routine of school [/?s=school](https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A%5F%5Fwww.helpforyourchild.com%5F-3Fs-3Dschool&d=DwMFaQ&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A%5FCdpgnVfiiMM&r=6oeq4WXIkTKoKelm8RGPZeG%5Fl0OALr0-e42zB3D-J9Y&m=24Ktou0Y8ryCOQpVhY5zn71Ehzg3e-uPw9du1rd8Sf4&s=-HTJoyH5WS-gLtcQbyZTrd9QO7YGzwoDTEUWep74HoU&e=&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) However, you’ll also need to prepare your child for wearing a mask (often only until they are in their assigned seat with social distancing but it seemed the rules and mandates and changing almost daily). If your child has sensory issues, you can experiment with different materials used to make the mask, and increase the time allotted, at home, for mask-wearing to practice and increase tolerance. This could include beginning wearing the mask only 30 seconds, then one minute, then two…. Of course, the mask can feature a favorite super-hero and even be part of a full costume, if necessary, to promote cooperation. ### **What if my child is only in-the-school part-time?** The back-and-forth between in-the-classroom and on-line is a notable challenge. As a parent, you’ll need to establish the ground rules for online days. In that respect, you’ll need to determine, most importantly: - Where will the online programming take place? If your child is in high school, they may want to work in their room, in their bed, and/or on their phone, as opposed to your preference of them working in the kitchen or some family area where you can monitor, on their laptop or desktop, dressed/groomed and ready-for-the-day. - If the schooling is asynchronous, which refers to not being Live or in-the-moment but, rather, posted assignments your child completes at his or her leisure, then even more oversight and monitoring are needed to ensure the work is getting done. Again, it’s strongly advised that the work is done in an area where the parent or guardian can provide oversight and monitoring, the completed work is reviewed by the parent, and there is weekly contact with the teacher to ensure the work is being done to satisfaction. By the way, in my professional opinion, asynchronous programming, in my estimation, is the worst and *least* useful for most of our kids unless your child is a super self-learner and highly motivated and self-directed. Otherwise, keeping your child focused, motivated, and invested, without a teacher actually teaching, can be quite a challenge. - If online and there is no teacher (asynchronous), you may consider scheduled breaks but not before a specific amount of work is completed. You may need to plan for extra 1:1 attention, or at least checking-in every 15 to 30 minutes depending on the age or maturity level of your child. ### **How do I enforce?** A big challenge is enforcing these rules on your high school student. In that respect, your teen may have ideas about how online and asynchronous learning should be carried out, while you have very different ideas. The goal, as with all matters when dealing with a teen, is to have an open conversation with your teen and attempt to reason with him or her. When dealing with a teen, we try, above all else, to avoid relying on punishments and, rather, rely on talking things out and coming to a compromise. In that absence of finding common-ground, your left with other options including trying to get his friends to offer a positive influence. In that respect, maybe your teen’s friends and their parents have already come to an agreement that online schooling should be in a family area with monitoring and not in their room. In that respect, peer’s plans are vital to potentially coming to an agreement. #### **In the absence of Common Ground** If you can’t come to an agreement with your teen, then you’re left playing some hardball. In dealing with teens, it’s always best to work together, compromise, and attempt to come to a common ground. However, if that does not occur, then at some point you simply dig-in and 'do what you have to do. In most instances, these days, that involves shutting down access to the phone or video games on days of in-home schooling unless they acquiesce. Your kiddo won’t be happy, but you have limited options unless you're okay with indulging your teen's wishes. #### **If your teen agrees** If your teen is on board with the program, then you’re all set. Schooling is scheduled to begin at a particular time, in a specific location in the home, and carried out for a certain number of hours with planned breaks. If your child has some special needs, you’ll plan the breaks and level of oversight accordingly. You’ll likely need to check-in with the teacher on a regular basis; granted, we want our teens to be independent and for us to intervene as little as possible. However, it does not always work out that way and, in all fairness, it’s far easier to lose track of assignments and tests via an online format, than when a student is face-to-face with the teacher. ### **Hope for the best, plan for the worst** I certainly hope this challenging time goes smoothly; in fact, some kids thrive in an online format. However, many do not, so we have to prepare accordingly. Think about how your child is likely to respond, and plan this out; don't wait till the last minute. *In my next post, I’ll show you*[ *how to get control of your child's or teen's video game and phone without getting into a wrestling match*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/removing-your-childs-electronics-without-a-wrestling-match/)*.* In the meantime, if you have questions, don’t hesitate to reach out at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). These are challenging times. God-speed in venturing through this situation, it being resolved quickly and favorably, and all our kids, if we so choose, getting back to school in-the-classroom on a full-time basis. ### Is ADHD Treatment Effective? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:44.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Those statistics%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Those%5Fstatistics%E2%80%A6) - [%E2%80%98Significant Difference and %E2%80%98Treatment Effect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#%E2%80%98Significant%5FDifference%5Fand%5F%E2%80%98Treatment%5FEffect) - - [How to Interpret Effect Size](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#How%5Fto%5FInterpret%5FEffect%5FSize) - - [Effect Size](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Effect%5FSize) - [So with all that in mind here is a list of the treatment effect size for various treatments including ADHD medications removing dyes from the diet exercise anti-depressants psychotherapy and miscellaneous medications](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#So%5Fwith%5Fall%5Fthat%5Fin%5Fmind%5Fhere%5Fis%5Fa%5Flist%5Fof%5Fthe%5Ftreatment%5Feffect%5Fsize%5Ffor%5Fvarious%5Ftreatments%5Fincluding%5FADHD%5Fmedications%5Fremoving%5Fdyes%5Ffrom%5Fthe%5Fdiet%5Fexercise%5Fanti-depressants%5Fpsychotherapy%5Fand%5Fmiscellaneous%5Fmedications) - - [Aerobic exercise effect on aspects of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Aerobic%5Fexercise%5Feffect%5Fon%5Faspects%5Fof%5FADHD) - [Depression %E2%80%93 no effect size number here but thought to be as effective as Zoloft in one study](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Depression%5F%E2%80%93%5Fno%5Feffect%5Fsize%5Fnumber%5Fhere%5Fbut%5Fthought%5Fto%5Fbe%5Fas%5Feffective%5Fas%5FZoloft%5Fin%5Fone%5Fstudy) - [What Doesnt Work for ADHD did not find effect sizes but the research outcomes are pretty clear](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#What%5FDoesnt%5FWork%5Ffor%5FADHD%5Fdid%5Fnot%5Ffind%5Feffect%5Fsizes%5Fbut%5Fthe%5Fresearch%5Foutcomes%5Fare%5Fpretty%5Fclear) - [Depression](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Depression) - - - [Medication Effect size](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Medication%5FEffect%5Fsize) - [To give you a comparison%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#To%5Fgive%5Fyou%5Fa%5Fcomparison%E2%80%A6) - [As a way of further comparison effect size of common medications](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#As%5Fa%5Fway%5Fof%5Ffurther%5Fcomparison%5Feffect%5Fsize%5Fof%5Fcommon%5Fmedications) - [However treatment Effect Size does not tell the full story](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#However%5Ftreatment%5FEffect%5FSize%5Fdoes%5Fnot%5Ftell%5Fthe%5Ffull%5Fstory) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-effective-adhd/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ## Those statistics… As Mark Twain popularized, “there are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.” I suppose there is some truth to that saying; statistics can be confounding, confusing, and twisted. However, by the same token, statistics can also add clarity and help to guide our decisions. So, with that in mind, today we’ll focus on a way to help determine whether a given treatment is effective. ## ‘Significant Difference’ and ‘Treatment Effect’ In research, determining whether there is a statistically significant difference between the two groups is vital (is there a genuine difference between the treated group and untreated group, due to the treatment, or is the difference simply by chance). Once it’s shown that there is a significant difference, knowing what’s called the ‘treatment effect’ helps us understand the magnitude or importance of that difference. In that respect, the ‘treatment effect’ measures the strength of the relationship between two variables, i.e. between the treatment group and the untreated group. Put another way, the treatment effect measures the magnitude of the impact of the treatment compared to those who were not treated. The treatment effect is measured in what’s called an ‘Effect Size’. ### How to Interpret Effect Size #### Effect Size: - 0.0 is no different than placebo - 0.2 small effect size (but better than placebo) - 0.5 Moderate effect size (and quite a bit better than placebo) - 0.8 Large effect - 1.0 or Above – Robust impact of the treatment!! #### So, with all that in mind, here is a list of the treatment effect size for various treatments including ADHD medications, removing dyes from the diet, exercise, anti-depressants, psychotherapy, and miscellaneous medications. - Stimulants in blind clinical trials – 0.95 - Lisdexamfetamine (Vyvanse) – 1.28 - Mydayis – new ADHD med- 0.67 – 1.1 depending on dose - Methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta)- 0.77 - Stimulants in optimized dose trials – 2.2 - Alpha agonists (Clonodine, Guanfacine) – 1.3 (often used for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) Exercise can be an effective treatment for ADHD, but is temporary and lasts for only a few hours depending on how long and how intense. Regular exercise (and perhaps strategically timed exercise such as before one needs to focus for a class) is a good use of this strategy, and its effect size varies across symptoms measured: ##### Aerobic exercise effect on aspects of ADHD (kids and teens meta-analysis) 0.56 – 0.84 Attention – 0.84 Hyperactivity – 0.56 Impulsivity – 0.56 Anxiety – 0.66 Executive functioning – 0.58 Social disorders – 0.59 ##### Depression – no effect size number here, but thought to be as effective as Zoloft in one study - Strattera – 0.44 to 0.68 - Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Zyban) - .34 - Zoloft (for ADHD only) – 0.25 - Removal of artificial colors and dietary restrictions - 0.21 *Sources: Dr. William Dodson, ADDitude Magazine Spring, 2013: ADHD Report Oct. 2012; Sept. 2015 & Dec. 2016 Russell Barkley, Ph.D.* ### What Doesn’t Work for ADHD (did not find effect sizes, but the research outcomes are pretty clear) - Computer training (CogMed, Lumosity…) – short-term ‘near transfer’ but no ‘far transfer’…which means that you learn what they are teaching, such as memorizing numbers backwards, but it doesn’t ‘spread’ to other parts of your life - Neurofeedback – works better for anxiety, but less so for ADHD ### Depression Antidepressant medication is clearly beneficial for severe depression, but also in moderate depression. There is less of an impact over placebo in mild depression. Relative antidepressant versus placebo benefit increased from 5% in mild depression to 12% in moderate depression to 16% in severe depression. ##### Medication Effect size Buproprion: 0.18 Citalopram: 0.23 Duloxetine: 0.30 Escitalopram: 0.31 Fluoxetine: 0.28 Mirtazapine: 0.33 Nefazodone: 0.28 Paroxetine CR: 0.44 Sertraline: 0.23 Venlafaxine: 0.42 ### To give you a comparison… By way of comparison, psychotherapy effect size ranges between 0.22 – 0.80, depending on the experience of the therapist and the relationship between the therapist and client. ### As a way of further comparison, effect size of common medications Gastric Acid mediation (Nexium…): 1.39 Oxycodone: 1.04 Metformin (diabetes): 0.87 Sumatriptan for Migraines: 0.83 Benzodiazepine for anxiety: 0.65 Antihypertensives: 0.65 Corticosteroids for asthma: 0.56 Anti-psychotic medication: 0.51 Statins for cholesterol: 0.15 Aspirin for vascular disease: 0.12 ### However, treatment Effect Size does not tell the full story It should be noted that there is more to the story than treatment effect. In that respect, statistics deal with groups, not individuals. Consequently, one individual might get a huge benefit from a treatment approach or medication, while a bunch of other people may only experience a small improvement. If you’re that one individual who responds wonderfully, then an Effect Size of 0.2 does not mean a whole lot. Moreover, for some treatment options, it’s not applicable to compare the effect size to an entire group of ‘depressed’ persons when the medication is shown to work better for depressed females who are also quite anxious and worried about weight gain. In that instance, the Effect Size may be 0.5, but more globally may only be 0.2\. This is why doctors make clinically appropriate decisions to treat individuals, not groups. Finally, keep in mind that if only 5% of people experience a notable improvement with a medication or treatment approach, that 5% can add-up to a lot of people benefiting if the condition is wide-spread and the treatment approach is widely used. ### Hope that helps Making informed decisions is vital, and I hope this post helps in that respect. Please feel free to respond or provide any comments on my [Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso/), I would love to hear your thoughts. God bless. ### Is Autism in Females Different Than Males? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-females-different-males/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:28.000Z For decades, autism research and diagnostic criteria were developed primarily based on male presentations, leaving girls and women significantly underidentified and underserved. Autism in females often presents differently: girls are more likely to mask social difficulties, mimic neurotypical peers, and develop compensatory strategies that obscure the underlying diagnosis. As a result, females are frequently diagnosed later, misdiagnosed with anxiety or personality disorders, and denied appropriate support during critical developmental years. Increased clinical awareness of the female autism phenotype has improved diagnostic accuracy, but many girls still fall through the cracks. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh evaluates children and adults of both genders with sensitivity to the full range of autism presentations. Contact us if you're concerned your daughter may be on the spectrum. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### The Coronavirus and Helping Your Child with Autism Deal with the Change in Routine URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:07.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Huge impact on our lives](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/#Huge%5Fimpact%5Fon%5Four%5Flives) - [What to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/#What%5Fto%5Fdo) - [So youre left to deal with the changes in routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/#So%5Fyoure%5Fleft%5Fto%5Fdeal%5Fwith%5Fthe%5Fchanges%5Fin%5Froutine) - [Make if fun provide extra comfort and incorporate items from the daily routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/#Make%5Fif%5Ffun%5Fprovide%5Fextra%5Fcomfort%5Fand%5Fincorporate%5Fitems%5Ffrom%5Fthe%5Fdaily%5Froutine) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/coronavirus-helping-child-autism-change-routine/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ### Huge impact on our lives The Coronavirus has had a major impact in lots of ways, not the least of which is trying to explain to our children with autism what’s going on, and helping them to adjust to the changes in the schedule, i.e. not going to school, being watched by grandma one day, and a sitter the next. ### What to do? In terms of explaining the ‘virus’; it would appear reasonable to explain that a strain of the “flu” is ‘going around’ and we’re taking precautions. In terms of providing reassurance, please [see my prior post](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-reassure-your-child-about-corona-virus/) on the subject, and recognize that youths typically either don’t get the virus or experience a very mild reaction; so, that’s encouraging and worth noting to your kiddo. ### So, you’re left to deal with the changes in routine. You've been through this many times when there is a snow day or unexpected change in your schedule. This time, however, the change will continue a bit longer. This extra time gives you the opportunity to establish a new routine. The key is to prepare, to the extent possible, clear and specific schedules presented on a white-board or using a visual schedule for younger children. These schedules can be daily, or weekly; whatever you think is best. ### Make if fun, provide extra comfort, and incorporate items from the daily routine It would be understandable if you give extra hugs and reassurance, as well as some extra use of the iPad to help calm the emotions. You may feel like you’re over-indulging, but sometimes that’s necessary. Try to keep the routine consistent in terms of the same order as would occur on weekends and other days off. However, you may want to increase structure a bit compared to the weekend schedule (given the length of time of this hiatus) but, no worries, establish the routine in written or visual form, and have each caretaker carry-out the routine in a predictable fashion. To prepare for the next day, you’ll have the schedule already prepared, and use face-time with grandma (or teacher, or babysitter…) telling your child how much fun they’re going to have, and the activities in which they will be involved. Use the written or visual schedule to prepare for transitions, and allow for extra time knowing that these transitions may be accompanied by some emotion and resistance. A sticker chart with extra rewards may be helpful in that respect. ### Hope that helps These are trying times, for you and your kids alike. As always, don’t hesitate to reach-out with any questions, and please share your success stories on my [Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso/). God bless. ### How to Reassure Your Child about Corona Virus URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-reassure-your-child-about-corona-virus/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:33.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [So whats the difference between the coronavirus a hurricane tornado and climate change](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-reassure-your-child-about-corona-virus/#So%5Fwhats%5Fthe%5Fdifference%5Fbetween%5Fthe%5Fcoronavirus%5Fa%5Fhurricane%5Ftornado%5Fand%5Fclimate%5Fchange) - [Whats the answer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-reassure-your-child-about-corona-virus/#Whats%5Fthe%5Fanswer) - - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-reassure-your-child-about-corona-virus/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) ### So, what’s the difference between the coronavirus, a hurricane, tornado, and climate change? Potentially, not much. If you live in Oklahoma and its tornado season, then you’ve got some things to be thinking about. Likewise, if you live in South Carolina and it’s August, a hurricane could arise at any time. Moreover, if you think like Greta Thunberg, well, the world is a very scary place. ### What’s the answer? Children who struggle with anxiety will worry, that’s what they do; they will find things to worry about and will assume the worst is going to happen. So, in all these situations, no matter if it’s over some virus or the weather, or someone is ill, or it’s an extra warm day, the answer is the same: - Prepare and take precautions - Use a [reflective listening approach](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/listen-kids-reflective-listening/) to help your child feel understood. If you’re not sure how to use reflective listening, [see my prior post](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/listen-kids-reflective-listening/) on that subject, and check out the book ‘*How to talk so kids will listen, and how to listen so kids will talk*’ by Mazlish. - Clearly express to your child that you have the situation under control - Convey to your child the nature and specifics of the precautions - Communicate to your child the reality of the situation (what could potentially happen) but how to keep things in perspective given the probability and precautions - Express to your child that the chances of anything bad happening, no matter the hype, is actually quite small - Also communicate that, even if something happens, you’re prepared accordingly - However, also conveyed that ‘life happens’ and there are no guarantees but that you’ve got the bases covered - Remind your child that, no matter the situation or outcome, there is a really big and powerful God who tells us, ‘Don’t be afraid, for I am with you’, Isaiah 41:10 - After you’ve provided a clear, concise, and reassuring response, have your child recite your response, then distract and change the subject. #### Hope that helps God bless you and your family through this trying time. Feel free to comment on [my Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso/) and don’t hesitate to reach out if your child is having an especially difficult time. ### Our Internal Dialogue’s, Part 2: How to quiet the chatter in our heads URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/internal-dialogues-part-2-how-to-quiet-chatter-in-heads/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:24.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [How to clear the %E2%80%98internal dialogue better known as %E2%80%98chatter in our heads](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/internal-dialogues-part-2-how-to-quiet-chatter-in-heads/#How%5Fto%5Fclear%5Fthe%5F%E2%80%98internal%5Fdialogue%5Fbetter%5Fknown%5Fas%5F%E2%80%98chatter%5Fin%5Four%5Fheads) - [The spiritual connection](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/internal-dialogues-part-2-how-to-quiet-chatter-in-heads/#The%5Fspiritual%5Fconnection) - [Stay in-the-moment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/internal-dialogues-part-2-how-to-quiet-chatter-in-heads/#Stay%5Fin-the-moment) - [Meditation and Progressive Relaxation self-hypnosis](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/internal-dialogues-part-2-how-to-quiet-chatter-in-heads/#Meditation%5Fand%5FProgressive%5FRelaxation%5Fself-hypnosis) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### How to clear the ‘internal dialogue’, better known as ‘chatter’, in our heads I wrote earlier that the chatter in our heads can be as distracting as any external annoyance, and more anxiety-provoking than the actual fear. Our ability to self-sooth, through calm and reassuring self-talk, and re-direct our internal dialogue is vital and can make a big difference in completing tasks. In my earlier post on the subject, I mentioned a few ways to calm that chatter, but here I’ll describe three even more powerful tools. Okay, here we go: ### The spiritual connection Prayer is calming and channels our thoughts to a higher power, which is reassuring to know that the King of the Universe has you and your family’s back, and powerful in terms of God directly intervening and calming our thoughts, spirit, and situation. Memorizing scripture, such as cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you, 1 Peter 5:7, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Philippians, 4:13, slows the chatter and fights those negative thoughts that counter our kid’s progress. God also seems to think that such contemplation it’s worthwhile and the-more-the-better, i.e. pray without ceasing, 1 Thessalonians 5:16. ### Stay in-the-moment How many times have you been doing something with your children or spouse, or maybe walking the dog during a quiet and peaceful evening, and you should be enjoying the moment but, instead, your mind is a million miles away contemplating all sorts of negative and fretful things about tomorrow, last year, and what you should be doing instead of what you are doing? There are few things that so thoroughly steals our joy, robs us from being present with loved ones, and inhibits our ability to enjoy any given experience. So, don’t do that!!! Instead, take captive every thought, 2 Corinthians 10:5 (bonus Scripture), that is to say, take control of your thoughts and focus ‘in the moment’ on who you’re with, what they are doing, the smells, sounds, how you’re feeling, the sentiment of the moment – wrap yourself in the experience and truly live in that time and place. It’s really not hard, and it’s so worth the effort. ### Meditation and Progressive Relaxation (self-hypnosis) So, I’m not entirely familiar with the eastern philosophies and their spiritual underpinning and techniques, but if the goal is to clear your head then this technique is apparently something worth considering. I understand that even kids can learn this mantra, so to speak, which slows things down and is quite calming. I’m far more familiar with progressive relaxation, which is essentially self-hypnosis. In that respect, most don’t know that hypnosis is essentially a deep state of relaxation. In any case, if you try progressive relaxation, which involves, paradoxically, actively and purposefully relaxing your body and thoughts, you’ll notice how much more relaxed you become compared to only, for example, laying down and taking a nap. In fact, ironically, we can actually be quite uptight and tense even when we think we’re “relaxing.” Kids can easily learn to take control of their body and mind, and quickly progressively relax, at any point during the day. It’s quite powerful and calming. Try these techniques and see what works for you and your kids. Please provide feedback in that respect on my Facebook page. Okay, now go and calm that internal chatter. ### Our Internal Dialogue’s Impact on ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, and Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:22.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Do you talk to yourself](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/#Do%5Fyou%5Ftalk%5Fto%5Fyourself) - [How is your internal dialogue](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/#How%5Fis%5Fyour%5Finternal%5Fdialogue) - [How our thoughts get in the way](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/#How%5Four%5Fthoughts%5Fget%5Fin%5Fthe%5Fway) - [So what do we do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/#So%5Fwhat%5Fdo%5Fwe%5Fdo) - [I appreciate Ryan bringing this to light](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-internal-dialogues-impact-on-adhd-anxiety-depression-and-autism/#I%5Fappreciate%5FRyan%5Fbringing%5Fthis%5Fto%5Flight) ### Do you talk to yourself? A young man named Ryan Langdon, from his post at InsideMyMind [https://insidemymind.me/2020/02/05/how-my-internal-monologue-affects-my-attention-deficit-disorder/](https://insidemymind.me/2020/02/05/how-my-internal-monologue-affects-my-attention-deficit-disorder/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) wrote of his internal dialogue, as a person with ADHD, that he referred to as being hyper-neuro-vocal in that he tends to have hyper self-talk that interferes with his concentration. In his own investigation, he found that others with ADHD tend to get carried away in their hyper self-talk, while those without ADHD sometimes report not even being aware of any self-talk or internal dialogue (what he refers to as being hypo-neuro-vocal). In fact, Ryan speaks of the primary challenge, for him and his experience of ADHD, as being his internal dialogue that interferes with his concentration. ### How is your internal dialogue? Do you think in words, in an internal dialogue, in pictures, or are you not aware of any internal thoughts (must be rather quiet)? I’ve had the opportunity to interview literally tens of thousands of individuals ADHD, anxiety problems, depression, and autism. The bulk have described active self-talk that seems to interfere with daily functioning. I don’t know anyone with no internal dialogue. Maybe there are some who are not aware of their own self-talk, which does not mean it’s not present. In fact, such thoughts are often referred to as automatic thoughts, which are simply thoughts that are so automatic that we don’t even realize we’re having them. However, everyone is different and we’ve all heard of individuals (maybe this is your experience) who tend to think and process information predominately in pictures (visual learners…). I would imagine that most of us think in both words and pictures (we talk to ourselves, and visualize people and experiences). The primary issue, in terms of a ‘disorder’, is the extent to which our thoughts interfere with our daily functioning. ### How our thoughts get in the way I’ve never talked with a person struggling with anxiety who did not have anxiety-provoking self-talk or a depressed person without depressing self-talk. Individuals struggling with ADHD tend to have thoughts they can’t shut-off that manifest in non-stop talking (that is rather distracting for them and those around them), and individuals with autism tend to have a strong internal focus and/or obsessive thoughts about any random item or interest. Frankly, there is barely anyone on this planet who doesn’t have trouble, at one time or another, getting a handle on their thoughts. One of the primary aspects of therapy is helping to control what’s going on in our heads. ### So, what do we do? We learn to control our thoughts, that’s what we do. We use internal forces to think about something else, which is the basis for the best-research therapeutic approach used today; cognitive-behavioral therapy. We also use external cues to remind us to stay focused; either way, we learn to redirect our thoughts to more healthy topics and perspectives, and back-to-task. Medication can be very helpful and tends to quiet the background chatter and sharpen our focus. Auditory and visual cues can also be a plus in terms of, for example, wearing ear-buds that play a recording, every minute, of a friendly voice reminding us to stay on-task, or a visual cue on our desk to remind us to focus, or highlighting every noun or verb in a paragraph so we must stay active and focused in our reading, and on-and-on it goes. There are countless strategies. ### I appreciate Ryan bringing this to light Ryan’s post, which got about a million views, has been appreciated by so many who can relate to his challenge of controlling his internal dialogue. In fact, like so many who can relate, Ryan perceives his challenge with ADHD as not being distracted by external stimuli (such as a tapping pencil) but, rather, his own thoughts. That is a fascinating and integral aspect of ADHD, not to mention anxiety, autism, and every other disorder with which we struggle; if we can control our thoughts, we can control the disorder rather than it controlling us. I’m looking forward to hearing more from Ryan, and from those who learn productive ways to overcome their daily challenges. God bless. ### Why are ADHD Rates Rising: Exploring the Feminization of the Classroom URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:20.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [We know ADHD rates are increasing](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#We%5Fknow%5FADHD%5Frates%5Fare%5Fincreasing) - - [Why](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#Why) - [Or](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#Or) - [The feminization of our schools and society](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#The%5Ffeminization%5Fof%5Four%5Fschools%5Fand%5Fsociety) - [Dont get me wrong%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#Dont%5Fget%5Fme%5Fwrong%E2%80%A6) - [I wonder if this is why boys are dropping out of education](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#I%5Fwonder%5Fif%5Fthis%5Fis%5Fwhy%5Fboys%5Fare%5Fdropping%5Fout%5Fof%5Feducation) - [Im not suggesting%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#Im%5Fnot%5Fsuggesting%E2%80%A6) - [Need more boy-friendly schools](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#Need%5Fmore%5Fboy-friendly%5Fschools) - [I hope that offers a new perspective](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-adhd-rates-rising-exploring-the-feminization-classroom/#I%5Fhope%5Fthat%5Foffers%5Fa%5Fnew%5Fperspective) ## We know ADHD rates are increasing We find the rate of ADHD increasing by upwards of 10% over the past ten years, and the boy/girl ratio is upwards of 3:1. ### Why? Maybe the rates are rising because practitioners are better at assessing and diagnosing this condition. Or, maybe the condition is actually increasing due to toxins in our environment or some other cause. ### Or I wonder if we’re becoming less tolerant to the types of behaviors typical of boys? ### The feminization of our schools, and society My goal is not to be political, and maybe I’m off-base, unenlightened, and not entirely ‘woke’, but it’s hard not to see a war going-on against boys. I understand that girls have been stereotyped, and that is wrong, but I wonder if the pendulum has swung too far the other way? In that respect, boys seem to get the short-end of the stick across the board. The things that make boys, well, boys, are increasingly seen as negative, punishable, and are prohibited if the behaviors come from boys. Those traits that are seen as masculine are labeled as “toxic” and boys are compelled to be, well, more like girls. Ironically, girls are being taught to be more like boys, which is fine (I guess), so long as boys can also be like boys. When it comes to males, we are averse to anything rough-and-tumble, so to speak, in favor of those things compassionate, sensitive, and nurturing. There are zero-tolerance policies that tend to target boy-like behavior. We tend to avoid males competing or being adventurous. No more “conquering” our world and we don’t confront or have conflict but, instead we hug, and God-forbid we play with toy guns, or even draw a gun, or pretend to be a cowboy, don’t dare draw a picture of a tank blowing something up, no more dodge-ball, and everyone has to win. Instead, we have to sit, pay attention, be quiet and mindful of our manners, and control our impulses for an increasingly longer period of time. It’s a world tailor-made for girls, but not-so-much for boys. ### Don’t get me wrong… I fully appreciate the need for sensitivity regarding guns and weapons given the reality of school shootings. However, I can’t help but think that, at least in some cases, we take that sensitivity to the extreme. Maybe we need to have a sensitivity, as well, that boys need to be permitted to be boys, and not perceive a threat where there isn’t one. ### I wonder if this is why boys are dropping out of education? It’s alarming to look at the graduation rates between males and females. It’s actually a national tragedy that no one seems to care too much about. In that respect, ten percent more females graduate high school than males, and there is almost a 20% disparity between males and females in earning any type of advanced degree (Associates, Bachelor’s, Master’s, and Doctorate). What’s your best guess as to why this might be the case? ### I’m not suggesting… There is no doubt, in my humble opinion, that ADHD is a genuine disorder and that some kids are well outside the norm in terms of their ability, or lack thereof, to maintain focus, control impulses, and remain settled. However, while that might be the case, in some cases, we may be setting-up boys for failure, not doing them any favors, unfairly targeting them with unrealistic expectations, and straight-up pathologizing typical boy-behavior. At the very least, it may serve us well to at least entertain that possibility. ### Need more boy-friendly schools What type of classroom helps boys to be boys, and achieve? First, let them be active. In that respect, activity-based programs allow for more movement throughout the day, stretch-breaks, use of clipboard with standing, sitting or lying on the floor, high-interest topics (let them choose their own topics), more change of pace in the classroom, teach outside, allow pretend ‘army’ and dodge-ball and gross topics that boys find captivating. Learn by doing, invite men in the classroom, permit choices in assignments and projects, more opportunities for hands-on projects, group-work, experimental learning, collaboration, competition, and creating avenues for boys to reach-out and accept help as opposed to shutting-down or acting-out. An environment such as this would help boys in general, and those with ADHD, to feel more comfortable in a classroom and achieve higher levels of success. ### I hope that offers a new perspective My goal is not to be political or controversial, but instead to help boys perform to their fullest potential. That’s all. Now let’s go out and advocate for these boy-friendly environments, at home, and at school. God bless you and your kids, both boys and girls alike. ### ADHD & Executive Functions: Emotional Control! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:35.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Diagnostic Criteria](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#Diagnostic%5FCriteria) - - [The diagnostic criteria for ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#The%5Fdiagnostic%5Fcriteria%5Ffor%5FADHD) - - [Inattention](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#Inattention) - [Hyperactivity and Impulsivity](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#Hyperactivity%5Fand%5FImpulsivity) - [The missing piece](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#The%5Fmissing%5Fpiece) - - [Interesting impact of medication and behavioral modification](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functions-emotional-control/#Interesting%5Fimpact%5Fof%5Fmedication%5Fand%5Fbehavioral%5Fmodification) ## Diagnostic Criteria So, here is the DSM-V diagnostic criteria for ADHD. We are pretty familiar with these symptoms and recognize the impact they can have on a child’s life. Look them over for a quick review, and then we’ll discuss whether there is something missing from this list? ### The diagnostic criteria for ADHD: #### Inattention **Six or more:** \_\_ failing to pay close attention to details or making careless mistakes \_\_ problems sustaining attention in tasks or play activities \_\_ often not appearing to listen \_\_ having trouble following through with directives or fails to finish tasks \_\_ being less than well-organized and poor time management \_\_ reluctant to engage in tasks requiring sustained mental effort \_\_ losing things \_\_ being easily distracted by extraneous stimuli \_\_ forgetful #### Hyperactivity and Impulsivity **Six or more:** \_\_ being fidgety or taps hands, squirmy \_\_ often leaves seat when remaining in seat is expected \_\_ often runs or climbs when not appropriate to do so \_\_ Unable to play quietly \_\_ moving around excessively and always being ‘on the go’ \_\_ talking excessively \_\_ blurts out answers \_\_ having problems waiting for turns \_\_ having a tendency to interrupt and intrude at times These signs need to be seen prior to 12 years of age and notably impacting a person’s life. ## The missing piece! It is becoming increasingly apparent that emotional dysregulation is such a primary aspect to ADHD that there is a consideration of adding that specific symptom to the list of criteria. We don’t often think of emotional outbursts being related to ADHD symptoms, but they are. In fact, a secondary though related symptom is also very common; a hypersensitivity to rejection or redirection. I’ll be many of you are all too familiar with that aspect of ADHD even though it’s not part of the criteria. ### Interesting impact of medication and behavioral modification Medication often helps to improve attention and concentration, but an interesting additional effect is that kids often appear calmer and more at ease, even when faced with being told ‘no’ and when frustrated. That’s a reflection of the medication’s impact on that specific executive function of emotional control. Hope that helps It’s important to understand the scope of symptoms and executive functions associated with ADHD. If not, then we tend to feel confused, we can’t target treatment, and may even pursue unnecessary secondary diagnoses. If we know what we’re looking for, it’s easier to grasp, and then it’s easier to treat. God bless you and your kids. ### ADHD: What’s Executive Functioning Got To Do With It? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:50.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Importance of the Executive Functions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/#The%5FImportance%5Fof%5Fthe%5FExecutive%5FFunctions) - - [The importance of examining your childs executive functioning](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/#The%5Fimportance%5Fof%5Fexamining%5Fyour%5Fchilds%5Fexecutive%5Ffunctioning) - [Examples](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/#Examples) - [Executive Functioning Checklist](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/#Executive%5FFunctioning%5FChecklist) - - - [Which of the following executive functions do you believe need targeted for your child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-executive-functioning/#Which%5Fof%5Fthe%5Ffollowing%5Fexecutive%5Ffunctions%5Fdo%5Fyou%5Fbelieve%5Fneed%5Ftargeted%5Ffor%5Fyour%5Fchild) ## The Importance of the Executive Functions ADHD is described as a disorder of the prefrontal lobe of our cerebral cortex, which is the area of the brain that controls higher-order thinking. This ‘higher-order thinking’ is also known as a **set of executive functions** that help us to more effectively get through our day. The specific executive functions include: Impulse control, flexible thinking and ability to shift between topics, emotional control, initiating a task, working memory (keeping thoughts in our memory and quickly acting on them before we forget), planning and prioritizing, organizing, self-monitoring (assess our own performance and measure it against some standard of what is needed or expected), and monitoring the passage of time. ### The importance of examining your child’s executive functioning Trying to determine how to treat “ADHD” can be daunting. In that respect, the diagnosis shows-up in a bunch of behaviors, there are lots of different symptoms, and it can be challenging to prioritize which behaviors and symptoms to target. However, if we look at select executive functions, as opposed to a bunch of symptoms and behaviors, then we can target treatment in a way that will be most effective, practical, and helpful. ### Examples There are lots of examples and, in that respect, check-out our [**Parent Resources**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/parent-resources/), for our [**ADHD AND EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING**](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Executive%5FFunctioning.pdf) pamphlet that highlights specific strategies to improve each executive function. An example for time-management includes using a chore-card that lists the chore, the steps to complete the chore, the time allotted for each step, and the time the entire chore should take, then set a timer. I hope that information helps. Understanding executive functions is super helpful. Here is a [**checklist**](#checklist) to help in determining where your child may be struggling, which targets the treatment process. More to come in the next post, specifically about **emotional control**. God bless you and your kiddos! Dr. C ## Executive Functioning Checklist Executive Functioning is overseen by the Pre-frontal Cortex; it’s the “command and control” center of the brain and helps to manage life tasks. It involves mental control and self-regulation. These functions allow for managing time, paying attention, switching focus, planning and organizing, remembering details, and avoiding saying or doing the wrong thing. #### Which of the following executive functions do you believe need targeted for your child? \_\_\_ **Inhibition and Impulse Control:** Stop one’s behavior at the appropriate time, thinking before acting, and filtering-out distractions in the environment. \_\_\_ **Shifting, and Flexible Thinking:** Move freely from one situation to another both in thought and behavior. \_\_\_ **Emotional Control:** Control emotional reactions by bringing rational thought to bear on feelings. \_\_\_ **Task Initiation:** Ability to begin a task and to independently generate ideas, responses, or problem-solving strategies (getting started on a task…) \_\_\_ **Working Memory:** Capacity to hold information in mind for the purposes of completing a task (shortly after a direction, remembering the task-at-hand) \_\_\_ **Planning and Prioritizing:** Ability to plan how things are going to be accomplished and order the items in terms of importance. \_\_\_ **Organization of Materials:** Impose order on work, play, and storage. \_\_\_ **Self-Monitoring:** Ability to monitor one’s own performance and to measure it against some standard of what is needed or expected. \_\_\_ **Monitoring Time:** The ability to self-regulate based on time-constraints and have a sense of urgency. The capacity to plan for a task or goal, no matter short or long-term. The ability to accurately judge the passage of time. ### Are You Relying On Airwaves To Discipline Your Child? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:14.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [How do you discipline your child](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#How%5Fdo%5Fyou%5Fdiscipline%5Fyour%5Fchild) - [Do the first two options work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#Do%5Fthe%5Ffirst%5Ftwo%5Foptions%5Fwork) - [What about kiddos with ADHD Anxiety or Autism](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#What%5Fabout%5Fkiddos%5Fwith%5FADHD%5FAnxiety%5For%5FAutism) - [So whats the problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#So%5Fwhats%5Fthe%5Fproblem) - [What to do instead](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#What%5Fto%5Fdo%5Finstead) - [I shouldnt have to do that](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#I%5Fshouldnt%5Fhave%5Fto%5Fdo%5Fthat) - [Its not good to lower my expectations In fact I want to raise expectations](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#Its%5Fnot%5Fgood%5Fto%5Flower%5Fmy%5Fexpectations%5FIn%5Ffact%5FI%5Fwant%5Fto%5Fraise%5Fexpectations) - [Someday youll miss this](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#Someday%5Fyoull%5Fmiss%5Fthis) - [Takeaway](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/rely-airwaves-discipline-child/#Takeaway) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### How do you discipline your child? Most parents rely on raising their voice, pestering, threatening, loss of privilege, and time-out, in that order (with the last two being used interchangeably). We have to ask ourselves, as parents, is this effective (especially the first two options)? If you’re taking the time to read this post, probably not. ### **Do the first two options work?** Does raising our voice and pestering work? I think we all know the answer; for neurotypical kids these approaches work only sometimes, but enough to keep us doing it. It’s similar to playing a slot machine; we get a positive outcome on a variable-ratio schedule (random and unpredictable) that, by the way, is the most powerful form of outcome to keep us trying the same approach, even if not entirely effective. ### **What about** kiddo’s **with ADHD, Anxiety, or Autism?** As we examine outcomes, we see that raising our voice and pestering is even less effective with children who struggle with attention problems, distractibility, and preoccupation. We pester, raise our voice, and carry-on to no avail and it’s frustrating for everyone involved. In fact, a common complaint from parents is that they find themselves “yelling all the time” and the situation is quite unpleasant. ### **So, what’s** the **problem?** The problem is that we are usually standing far across the room and relying on ephemeral sound waves, transmitted from our vocal cords, floating through the air, vibrating the inner ear of our child, and hopefully being processed by our child’s brain and acted-upon. That’s a tall order to promote compliance, especially for a child who has ADHD or autism and is not always paying attention and is easily distracted along the way to carrying out the directive. If we think about it that way, we can see how silly we are, thinking that we can impact physical behavior by relying on intangible sound waves from far across the room. ### **What to** do **instead** Think of the difference between relying on our voice (sound waves) from across the room, to instead using the ‘*softer and closer approach*’ (see my earlier post) that entails getting physically close to your child, using a soft tone to get your child’s attention, and guiding your child through each step of the task. ### **I** shouldn’t **have to do that?** Who says you should not have to do that? I try not to use the word “*should*”; it just causes frustration. If your child needs some extra attention at this point in their life, or on any given day or time, so be it. I suggest accepting this reality, which will greatly reduce frustration. Remember, frustration is based on expectations. Change your expectations, and you’ll be far less frustrated and so will your child. ### **It’s not good to lower my expectations! In fact, I want to** raise **expectations.** Yes, you do want to raise expectations, while being realistic. If your child needs some extra guidance, give it. You can provide close supervision, get your child started on the task, then work on progressively backing-off while continuing to watch, praise, and prompt from nearby. This is a form of *backward chaining* and it works quite well. ### **Someday** you’ll **miss this** A sure-fire way to avoid feeling frustrated is, first, to change your expectations. Next remind yourself that someday, when they’re older, you’ll greatly miss these close times with your child. Also, there is no better bonding experience than the *softer and closer approach*. ### Takeaway Discipline-based in the use of air-waves is often counter-productive and ill-advised, especially if your child needs some extra attention. So, go have a great day getting softer and closer with your child. ### Summer Fun with the Kids & Summer Camp Guide URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:16.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Go ahead you can admit it its kinda scary%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Go%5Fahead%5Fyou%5Fcan%5Fadmit%5Fit%5Fits%5Fkinda%5Fscary%E2%80%A6) - [By the way%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#By%5Fthe%5Fway%E2%80%A6) - [Okay so whats the game-plan](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Okay%5Fso%5Fwhats%5Fthe%5Fgame-plan) - [Some things to help the summer go smoother](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Some%5Fthings%5Fto%5Fhelp%5Fthe%5Fsummer%5Fgo%5Fsmoother) - [Lay back a bit on the chores](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Lay%5Fback%5Fa%5Fbit%5Fon%5Fthe%5Fchores) - [You may need a break swap a kid or two](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#You%5Fmay%5Fneed%5Fa%5Fbreak%5Fswap%5Fa%5Fkid%5For%5Ftwo) - [Get some ideas](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Get%5Fsome%5Fideas) - [Change-of-pace for the day](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Change-of-pace%5Ffor%5Fthe%5Fday) - [Speaking of summer camps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Speaking%5Fof%5Fsummer%5Fcamps) - [Academics](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Academics) - [Before the school year is over%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Before%5Fthe%5Fschool%5Fyear%5Fis%5Fover%E2%80%A6) - [Prepare for whatever may happen](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Prepare%5Ffor%5Fwhatever%5Fmay%5Fhappen) - [Be prepared to %E2%80%98divide and conquer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Be%5Fprepared%5Fto%5F%E2%80%98divide%5Fand%5Fconquer) - [Other ideas%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Other%5Fideas%E2%80%A6) - [Have a wonderful summer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/summer-fun-with-the-kids-summer-camp-guide/#Have%5Fa%5Fwonderful%5Fsummer) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Go ahead, you can admit it; it’s kinda scary… On one hand you’re excited for the start of summer and to have far more access to your kids. If you’re a stay-at-home Mom, then you’re home all day with the little darlings and the sky is the limit in terms of the potential for fun-in-the-sun!! Even if you work, it’s most likely you’ll be seeing your kids quite a bit more over the next few months. Of course, you’re thrilled; they’re your kids and you want nothing more than to be around them and enjoy their company. However, deep down, you’re also a little scared because you’ll be, well, trapped, all day, with the little stinkers; they’ll all be together tag-teaming against you, not to mention tag-teaming against each other. You’ll have to play referee, teacher, cop, and playmate possibly all within any given 5-minute period. ### By the way… Not to get off-topic, but what’s the deal anyway with this three-months-off-thing over the summer? Are we all still farmers and need our kids help to work the family farm? I like a little vegetable garden as much as the next person, but three months seems a bit extreme. But I digress… ### Okay, so what’s the game-plan? Well, that’s just it, ya gotta have a game-plan. I suppose you could just wing-it, and many do, and they seem to do okay. However, especially if you have kids with special needs, the more routine, structured, planned, and predictable you can make the summer, oftentimes the better it will go. Not that every minute will be planned (summer is about spontaneity, freedom, and fun) but for some kiddos going from a highly regimented daily school routine, to a free-for-all, can be rather unsettling. Many parents find a nice balance between the two, some structure for part of the day, and some planned activities and trips, and a more relaxed and free-flowing part of the day (and even this “free-flowing” portion of the day can be planned). ### Some things to help the summer go smoother You go to Hawaii and hire a full-time nanny to watch the kids (just joking, sort of). First, get a Family Calendar with daily and monthly activities and events planned in advance. This gives the kids things to look forward to, lets them know what is planned for any given day or week, and reduces the pestering about ‘what are we doing today…’? You may want to use lots of visuals and pictures to convey information about the activity or event(s). ### Lay back a bit on the chores You may want to be a bit more accommodating and less rigid with chores and expecting a super clean house. Having everyone home, all day, is going to result in more messes and whatnot, and your frustration likely will skyrocket if you’re expecting complete order and a pristine environment. However, by the same token, clearly defining rules (maybe even posting summer-time rules on the wall) that include not getting out other toys or items until the first are put-away, will be helpful. ### You may need a break (swap a kid or two) Since other parents have their kids home too, take advantage of them and give them your kids for an afternoon (or a few days?). Of course, you’ll have to return the favor, but the kids can enjoy playing together (or not) and you get a break every so often. ### Get some ideas Set out a bucket for suggestions, and get a ‘bucket list’ from your kiddos to find out things they want to do over the summer. They likely will have some good ideas for local trips and activities you can do at home or in the local neighborhood. ### Change-of-pace for the day? Many of you have arranged day and/or week-long camps for your kids. Your kiddo usually has a great time, and it also gives you a break. However, keep the family fun going; remember, you only have so many summers with your kids, while they’re still kids, so don’t forget to savor these moments in time (that reminds me; take lots and lots of pictures and you’ll have them for your scrolling home-screen the rest of the year). ### Speaking of summer camps Here are some local summer camps you may find interesting. These are divided into special needs camps, regular day camps, and art, theater, and dance-camps. [2019 Special Needs Camps (pdf)](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/2019%5FSpecial%5FNeeds%5FCamps.pdf) [2019 Summer Day Camps (pdf)](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/2019%5FSummer%5FDay%5FCamps.pdf) [2019 Sports, Arts, Theater, and Dance Camps (pdf)](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/2019%5FSports%5FArts%5FTheater%5FDance%5FCamps.pdf) ### Academics? Your kids are going to hate me for suggesting this, but it’s important to set-aside some time, weekly if not daily, to keep-up on academics. Take advantage of Extended School Year (ESY) if your child is eligible, or simply crack some books at home for 30 minutes to an hour a day. Or, even better, introduce your child to child-friendly short stories and novels where they can get ‘lost’ in their imagination and experience far-away adventures without even leaving the home. Reading together is even better. Experiential trips are also fun, such as to the library or museum, art show, aviary, and don’t forget about VBS. ### Before the school year is over… Get the names and phone numbers of kids with whom your child will want to visit and play over the summer. Otherwise, you may not have a way to contact them, and many opportunities for fun play-dates will be lost. ### Prepare for whatever may happen Role-play with your child what to do if they get lost, or need help in some way. Keep medications and first-aid kits handy. Always have an epi-pen handy as well!! You never know who may be allergic to insect bites and stings. ### Be prepared to ‘divide and conquer’ When the kids get to bickering and carrying-on, prepare places for them to go to play separately. Separate rooms or areas of the house, or one plays outside while the other inside; whatever it takes. Prepare activities for them to do separately to keep them busy and to at least temporarily end the fussiness. The more structured and planned the activities and play-areas, the more likely such diversionary tactics will work. ### Other ideas… If your child has challenges with catching a ball, the Velcro-ball and Velcro catching pad is a wonderful option; frankly, even if your kiddo catches just fine, it’s still a fun activity, as is a trampoline, bicycle riding (or tricycle ride), taking the dog for a walk, having a picnic in the back yard, family hike, catching lightning bugs (we used to use wiffle bats when I was a kid…), going for a swim, stargazing, zoo, kennywood, board games, making a bird feeder and watching the birds, listening to an audiobook, going fishing, jumping rope, blowing bubbles, playing miniature golf, flying a kite, playing badminton, climbing a tree (not too tall), or watching a good movie. Whatever you do together is meaningful and makes a memory. ### Have a wonderful summer I hope you found this post to be informative and that it inspired some ideas. Here’s wishing you and yours a relaxing, safe, and memory-filled summer of fun. God bless. ### What's the Best Strategy for ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:18.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Of all the options%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/#Of%5Fall%5Fthe%5Foptions%E2%80%A6) - [Structure Its what you do not what you say](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/#Structure%5FIts%5Fwhat%5Fyou%5Fdo%5Fnot%5Fwhat%5Fyou%5Fsay) - [What does structure mean for a child with ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/#What%5Fdoes%5Fstructure%5Fmean%5Ffor%5Fa%5Fchild%5Fwith%5FADHD) - [If you need help](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-best-adhd-strategy/#If%5Fyou%5Fneed%5Fhelp) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Of all the options… There are a host of ways to help manage ADHD and its primary symptoms of impulsivity, hyperactivity, and distractibility. People often seek counseling for their child, and that approach is worthwhile, given it’s vital to teach coping skills. Of course, medication is often pursued and that too is quite effective. However, what else is vital in treatment? ### Structure: It’s what you do, not what you say The most effective and important strategy in the treatment of ADHD is structure. I’ve explained in prior posts what structure means, and I can’t emphasize enough its importance. ### What does structure mean for a child with ADHD? It means that the day is very well organized, you keep the same schedule each day, everything has its place, and the same place, and activities take place in specific places, times, and time-frames. The work environment is distraction free. It’s recognized that, most often, if something is to be accomplished it will occur because the parent is in very close proximity and providing a guiding hand, gentle prompting, and ongoing reinforcement of desired behaviors while not relying on a raised voice (yelling) from across the room. Children’s play activities will be structured, guided, and time-limited. There will be a behavior chart providing stickers for task completion. I could go on and on, but you get the drift. ### If you need help The hard part about ‘structure’ is knowing how, how much, when, where, and when to back-off. It’s tricky business. I suggest seeking help from a professional who can help answer those questions. I’m always available, just make an appointment or email me at DrCarosso@aol.com. Happy structuring 🙂 ### Is There a "Cure" for Dyslexia? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:20.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [So is there a %E2%80%9Ccure%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#So%5Fis%5Fthere%5Fa%5F%E2%80%9Ccure%E2%80%9D) - [Like any other skill](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#Like%5Fany%5Fother%5Fskill) - [Does treatment lead to being %22cured%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#Does%5Ftreatment%5Flead%5Fto%5Fbeing%5F%22cured%E2%80%9D) - [What does the research suggest](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#What%5Fdoes%5Fthe%5Fresearch%5Fsuggest) - [So where does that leave us](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#So%5Fwhere%5Fdoes%5Fthat%5Fleave%5Fus) - [Anything else](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#Anything%5Felse) - [Get help at DyslexiaTreaterscom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-there-a-cure-for-dyslexia/#Get%5Fhelp%5Fat%5FDyslexiaTreaterscom) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### So, is there a “cure”? There is not a “cure” for dyslexia. However, to better-understand the answer to this question, it’s best to review the nature of dyslexia and its underpinnings. In that respect, dyslexia is a neurological disorder in the sense that at least three particular areas of the brain, in charge of recognizing and processing written language, simply do not work so well. Consequently, a person with dyslexia struggles with reading (and usually also with writing). The condition can be treated, and skills can be improved, but often the underlying deficiency does not necessarily go away. ### Like any other skill We all have strengths and weakness. Some are good in math, or athletics, music, or art. Others, less so. Our strengths are based in our brain development and we’re each born with individual strengths, and weaknesses in that respect. Reading is no exception. As I mentioned, for people with dyslexia, there are a few parts of the brain that don’t work so well, but the rest of the person’s brain is fine! ### Does treatment lead to being "cured” Dyslexia can be treated very effectively. The determining factor of progress is severity-level. In that respect, just as with any condition, the less severe the dyslexia, the more progress in treatment, even to the point of improving to reading at grade-level. In some respect, it’s no different than working at any skill. If a child is playing baseball and is not good at hitting, but practices and practices hitting with a skilled coach, there’s a good chance the kiddo will get better. How much better? Well, that depends on how poor of a hitter they were in the first place, and the skill of the coach. The hitter will improve either way, but will likely advance further if the hitting only needs minor tweaks and the child may even ultimately hit better than their teammates. ### What does the research suggest? The research is somewhat sketchy and, surprisingly, there isn’t a lot of it. However, just as I explained, children with mild dyslexia (reading about one grade-level behind or less) tend to do well in treatment, and ultimately advance to read at grade-level. However, upwards of 60% of those with moderate to severe dyslexia show progress in treatment, but don’t advance to read at grade-level. ### So where does that leave us? The treatment approach is largely two-fold. We help the child to be the very best reader they can be, which is accomplished by intensive weekly treatment and regular practice of reading skills with a skilled teacher. We offer a very effective online support in that respect, at [DyslexiaTreaters.com](http://www.dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Our reading specialist, Taylor Cole, is superb at turning kids with reading challenges into proficient readers. At the same time, until the reading improves, we facilitate the child completing their classwork by promoting listening to assignments, i.e. we turn them into ear-readers. There are a number of programs that help in this respect including kindle, Audible, most school textbooks are online, and there is a wonderful app that quickly turns any text into audible; naturalreaders.com. ### Anything else That about wraps it up for now. I hope that helps to clarify the treatment process and expectations for improvement. ### Get help at DyslexiaTreaters.com We are pleased to announce our online tutoring program through the Dyslexia Diagnostic and Treatment Center. Ms. Taylor Cole, our online Reading Specialist, knowledgeable in Orton-Gillingham approaches, is available for convenient online sessions. You can sign up for news, tips, and discount offers and arrange a 30 minute free introductory session with Ms. Cole at [DyslexiaTreaters.com](http://www.dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). ### All About Dyslexia: Learn About Dyslexia and How To Get Help! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:56.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What is Dyslexia](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#What%5Fis%5FDyslexia) - [%E2%80%98Dyslexia vs a %E2%80%98Learning Disability](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#%E2%80%98Dyslexia%5Fvs%5Fa%5F%E2%80%98Learning%5FDisability) - [Runs in the family](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#Runs%5Fin%5Fthe%5Ffamily) - [More than just a reading disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#More%5Fthan%5Fjust%5Fa%5Freading%5Fdisorder) - [The foundation of treatment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#The%5Ffoundation%5Fof%5Ftreatment) - [Get help at DyslexiaTreaterscom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-how-to-get-help/#Get%5Fhelp%5Fat%5FDyslexiaTreaterscom) Written by Dr. John Carosso Reading issues are frustrating for both children and parents. If you your child is struggling, and you have concerns about dyslexia, this post covers signs of dyslexia, and effective treatment options. ### What is Dyslexia? I am often asked by parents to assess their child for dyslexia this process usually leads to a discussion about the nature of dyslexia, and how a parent can help. ### ‘Dyslexia’ vs a ‘Learning Disability’ Dyslexia (disorder of reading) and Dysgraphia (disorder of writing) are two conditions that are often labeled by school districts, more generally, as a “Specific Learning Disability”. In fact, over 90% of students classified as having a ‘Specific Learning Disability’ (and given an IEP) are classified because they have dyslexia. ### Runs in the family Dyslexia is almost always inherited and can greatly interfere with a child’s ability to make progress in school. ### More than just a reading disorder Dyslexia is, essentially, a problem decoding words. However, these kiddo's are quite intelligent and capable, but struggle with that specific task of sounding-out words. However, dyslexia, more broadly, is also a problem with the processing of language; kids have difficulty processing the sequence of sounds that comprise spoken words. Consequently, you get words like “psghetti” and “amninal.” Interesting, these kiddos sometimes genuinely don’t ‘hear’ themselves saying the words incorrectly so it’s difficult for them to self-correct. Moreover, they also struggle with visually processing the specific sounds. Consequently, they may read “gut” for “glut” and so on. ### The foundation of treatment All of the effective strategies are based in a ‘multi-sensory’ approach that incorporates, in the learning process, visual, auditory, and kinesthetic senses. In that respect, a child may be shown the word, asked to say the word, hear it spoken by the teacher, write the word on paper, and write the word or letter (using his finger) on a rough surface. Consequently, the child is receiving varied feedback (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) regarding how that word looks, sounds, feels, and is written. The Orton-Gillingham approach is commonly used, and incorporates this multi-sensory approach. ### Get help at DyslexiaTreaters.com We are pleased to announce our online tutoring program through the Dyslexia Diagnostic and Treatment Center. Ms. Taylor Cole, our online Reading Specialist, knowledgeable in Orton-Gillingham approaches, is available for convenient online sessions. You can sign up for news, tips, and discount offers and arrange a 30 minute free introductory session with Ms. Cole at [DyslexiaTreaters.com](http://dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). ### What is “Structure” and What Does it Look Like? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:03.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What does it mean to %E2%80%9Cincrease structure%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#What%5Fdoes%5Fit%5Fmean%5Fto%5F%E2%80%9Cincrease%5Fstructure%E2%80%9D) - [Simply put%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#Simply%5Fput%E2%80%A6) - [Two scenarios](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#Two%5Fscenarios) - - [Compare these two scenarios](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#Compare%5Fthese%5Ftwo%5Fscenarios) - [Now lets compare](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#Now%5Flets%5Fcompare) - [The more structure the better](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#The%5Fmore%5Fstructure%5Fthe%5Fbetter) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-structure-and-what-does-it-look-like/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### What does it mean to “increase structure” Parents are often told about the importance of structure, that they need to increase structure, and that structure is vital to helping children who need “more structure.” However, what does that mean? ### Simply put… The simplest way to explain structure is that ‘more structure’ equates to more rules, direction, and close over-sight. During any given time of day, or activity, the more rules and direction you give your child, and the closer you stand in proximity, the more “structure” you’re providing. The more rules and directives, the more the child knows what to do, the more predictable the outcomes (for you and the child), and less room for problems, arguments, and contention. ### Two scenarios #### Compare these two scenarios: The first scenario - three children return from school and play together without rules or direction. The three children roam about, intrude in each other’s play, move from one thing to the next, make messes, and run around as the parent yells for them to behave. In the second scenario - the children return from school and each is directed to a different part of the house, they are given directives (rules) including to play separately in a specific pre-planned activity for 10 minutes, clean up, then move onto the second activity, then they can have their after-school snack eaten in separate areas. During the entire time, the parent is closely monitoring and giving lots of praise, at close proximity, for their on-task behavior. Thereafter, the three can come together in a favorite game, with the parent present, for eight minutes or less before moving onto another activity depending on how the first game transpired. #### Now let’s compare So, what do you think of those two scenarios? Which is more likely to be successful for a child with autism or ADHD? Which scenario leaves less room for problems? Which has more predictable outcomes? The two different scenarios reflect how direction, rules, and proximity equate to ‘structure’, how ‘structure’ looks in real-life situations, and what happens in its absence. ### The more structure the better? More is better? Presumably, but it depends. The goal, over time, is to need less structure. As children mature and learn, they become more independent and can handle more freedom (less rules and direction). If you impose structure when it’s not necessary, you’re promoting dependence, and being annoying, and kids will rebel. It’s a balancing act based on your best judgement as a parent. However, my advice is, when in doubt, go with structure. ### Hope that helps “Structure” is such a commonly used term that it’s important to be clear about it’s meaning. I hope this post helps to clarify and make sense of this most important elements of managing our children’s behavior. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. God bless ### Is it Okay to Compare Your Kids? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:00.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [To compare or not to compare](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/#To%5Fcompare%5For%5Fnot%5Fto%5Fcompare) - [Is it really wrong](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/#Is%5Fit%5Freally%5Fwrong) - [So when is comparing a problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/#So%5Fwhen%5Fis%5Fcomparing%5Fa%5Fproblem) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-it-okay-to-compare-your-kids/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### To compare or not to compare? Parents often quickly correct themselves after making comparisons between their kids, saying “I know we’re not supposed to do that…” It’s generally taken for granted that comparing our children is wrong. ### Is it really wrong? In reality, we compare all the time. In fact, comparing helps us to understand what’s age-appropriate and expected for any given age. Think about it, it’s easier after your second, third, fourth… child because you have a much better idea of what to do, what to expect at any given age, and how much attention and monitoring your child should need along the way. You’re no longer guessing or relying solely on advice from your mother, but also basing your decision on past experience after years of direct observation of your older kiddos. In that respect, comparing is very practical. ### So when is comparing a problem? Comparing your children is a problem when you do it outside your head. In that respect, comparing is reserved for your own thoughts, and in your private discussions with your spouse. Never let her children hear your thoughts about your comparisons between them. That type of talk rarely ends well, and usually only instills sibling rivalry. Children don’t want to hear about how their older sibling talked early, got ready for school without any prompting, practiced piano every day, and was an angel... Any such comparisons, expressed out-loud, usually results in hurt feelings, resentment and, look out in terms of subsequent fights and mayhem among the kids. ### Hope that helps In summary, comparing your children can be quite helpful and practical, just don’t do it out-loud in front of your kids. A wonderful book on the subject is Siblings without Rivalry by E. Maxlish. Okay then, here’s to happy parenting and wishing you a wonderful, peaceful, and prosperous New Year. God bless. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-wonderful-counselor-2018/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:22.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Im expected to do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-wonderful-counselor-2018/#What%5FIm%5Fexpected%5Fto%5Fdo%E2%80%A6) - [Is there more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-wonderful-counselor-2018/#Is%5Fthere%5Fmore) - [Seems only fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-wonderful-counselor-2018/#Seems%5Fonly%5Ffitting) - [Tap into the Source](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-wonderful-counselor-2018/#Tap%5Finto%5Fthe%5FSource) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### What I’m expected to do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). ### Is there more? Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems only fitting During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ### Tap into the Source Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: jcarosso@cpcwecare.com ### Video : Preparing Your Child for the Christmas & Holiday Season URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-preparing-child-christmas-holiday-season/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:23.000Z From Dr. John Carosso For many parents with kiddos struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and Autism, the Holiday Season can be an extra stressful time. Watch this Morning Minute Special below on how to prepare your child for the season. You can also find more information on my blog [here](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-child-for-the-christmas-holiday-season/). ### Relationship: The Foundation of Discipline URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:03.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The discipline trap](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/#The%5Fdiscipline%5Ftrap) - [Relationship Beyond Softer and Closer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/#Relationship%5FBeyond%5FSofter%5Fand%5FCloser) - [Quality and Quantity](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/#Quality%5Fand%5FQuantity) - [The fear factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/#The%5Ffear%5Ffactor) - [The fun factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relationship-foundation-discipline/#The%5Ffun%5Ffactor) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### The discipline trap How beneficial is time-out, taking away the TV, or ‘grounding’ a child from going outside? Of course, as most parents have come to find, all of these discipline strategies can be effective. However, what happens if you rely too heavily on these strategies? Well, first, your household can become like a gulag; not too pleasant. Second, you and your child will be miserable. Third, the discipline strategies become less effective. ### Relationship: Beyond Softer and Closer That’s why I recommend relying on the ‘softer and closer approach (see the blog, “[softer and closer approach](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/)”). However, no matter what discipline you attempt, it will all go to waste, and you’ll feel like banging your head against the wall, if you don’t have a healthy, positive, and pleasant relationship with your child. ### Quality and Quantity The key to parenting and discipline is you and your child doing things together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company, and spending time (quality and quantity time) in fun activities. Actually, even ‘not so fun’ activities can be quite bonding and reinforcing (e.g. helping with homework or school project, assisting in getting your child ready for bedtime…). In any case, absent a healthy relationship, there is no glue to connect a parental directive to the subsequent (hopefully) compliant behavior. Kids comply because, ultimately, they love their parents, want their parents to be happy, want to get-along and have a good relationship, and realize that ‘we’re all in this together’ so I might as well do my part. ### The fear factor If your child is complying predominately due to a fear of punishment, then you’re in trouble. In that case, your child’s ‘compliance’ is based in manipulation and fear, and tasks are often completed superficially and marginally. ### The fun factor Instead, build the relationship and you’ll have a disciple (a willing follower) and be less reliant on discipline. Don’t get me wrong; both are vital, but the former is a lot more fun 🙂 ### The Softer and Closer Approach URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:25.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [How it all began](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/#How%5Fit%5Fall%5Fbegan) - [Repeat after me%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/#Repeat%5Fafter%5Fme%E2%80%A6) - [Go get softer and closer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/#Go%5Fget%5Fsofter%5Fand%5Fcloser) - [Time-In](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/softer-closer-approach/#Time-In) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### How it all began Many years ago, starting out as a Psychologist, I came across a Principal who established a ritual with his teachers. At the conclusion of every morning meeting, he would huddle the teachers together and lead a chant “softer and closer” repeated four to five times, before sending the teachers off to their students. ### Repeat after me… I am hard pressed to contemplate a more significant or relevant mantra for teachers or parents. I have espoused the “softer and closer” approach since that time, and can think of no better way to connect with a child. Getting on the child’s level, moving-in close, and speaking in a soft tone, if not a whisper, is remarkably powerful, comforting, and bonding for a child in any situation, but especially when the child is experiencing a difficulty and needs supportive guidance. ### Go get softer and closer Try it with your own child; rather than standing across the room and yelling, get close, soft, and comforting in tone, and see the difference. ### Time-In? I’ve also espoused time-in rather than time-out. Of course, the latter is necessary at times, but far too often we neglect trying the former. Try it, the softer and closer approach, and see the difference. ### Are Your Kids “Lazy” or Are They Being Lazy? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:09.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Subtle difference](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#Subtle%5Fdifference) - [Whats the big deal](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#Whats%5Fthe%5Fbig%5Fdeal) - [What %E2%80%9Clabels%E2%80%9D tend to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#What%5F%E2%80%9Clabels%E2%80%9D%5Ftend%5Fto%5Fdo) - [ A better option](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#%5FA%5Fbetter%5Foption) - [An even better option](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#An%5Feven%5Fbetter%5Foption) - [You get what you praise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#You%5Fget%5Fwhat%5Fyou%5Fpraise) - [Happy and Harmonious](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy-9-18-18/#Happy%5Fand%5FHarmonious) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Subtle difference? Well, it’s really not so subtle. It’s the difference between labeling your child, or simply describing an annoying and transient behavior. ### What’s the big deal? When we call our kids “lazy," “rude," “liars," “thieves," or whatever, we are defining their character, and suggesting that this is their enduring quality. Okay, so now you’re saying, well, they are! That may be true, but I’ll bet you can think of lots of times when your child is motivated, nice, told the truth, and did not steal. Even if the particular behavior is somewhat enduring, your child is still young; their personality is molding and shaping, and you’re in a strategic position to help shape it in the right direction. ### What “labels” tend to do Okay, here’s a scenario for you; you’re young, impressionable, don’t have a solid grasp or sense of yourself as a person, and have a tendency to believe what you’re told especially when told by the most important person in your life. In this scenario, you’re consistently told that you’re “lazy” or a “liar” or whatever. One can imagine that you may come to personally identify and internalize these traits, and expect to consistently behave in that way. Note that kids, and people, often live up (or down) to expectations. ### A better option Here’s a better option for you; label the behavior, rather than the child. Quite simply, for example, say “you’re lying” rather than “you’re a liar" or "you’re being lazy" or "you’re being rude." This option is definitely better than directly labeling the child, but it’s still not the best option. ### An even better option? Yes, there is an even better option. Instead of labeling the child or the behavior, simply redirect the behavior, describe very specifically what you want to see, and use the situation as a teachable moment. Think about it, calling your child “rude” does not teach; it simply degrades and disparages. Instead, if your child calls you a name, rather than call him “rude," describe the behavior as unacceptable, explain how he could have better-expressed his frustration, maybe even have him repeat the more appropriate words, and then implement a fair consequence. Same holds for “lazy." Rather; tell your child exactly what you need to see him doing, set a firm limit for him to get started, and then implement a consequence if necessary. ### You get what you praise If your child has a particular problem with not being especially motivated, or telling mistruths, or taking items, then pay very close attention to her behavior and praise big-time when your child demonstrates the pro-social alternative. Remember, if you consistently praise a behavior, it is much more likely to be repeated. Sticker charts also do wonders. ### Happy and Harmonious You want your home to be a happy, pleasant, and cordial environment, right? Of course. You’ll go a long way to making that happen after dropping labels, describing behaviors you instead want to see, relying on firm consequences without yelling and emotion, and using lots of praise. Not to be redundant, but think about it, how do you feel when you’re called lazy, rude, or a liar? Would you do better calling your spouse “lazy” or simply telling him or her exactly what you need and that they'll suffer a consequence (they know what you mean) if they do not immediately help you? Hope this was helpful. By the way, if you have any helpful personal experiences, or other good alternatives to labeling, please share at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. Thanks. ### Preparing for 'Back to School' URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-back-to-school/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:25.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Yes its that time](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-back-to-school/#Yes%5Fits%5Fthat%5Ftime) - [Summer vs School Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-back-to-school/#Summer%5Fvs%5FSchool%5FRoutine) - [What to do tips for parents of children with autism and typical kiddos](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-back-to-school/#What%5Fto%5Fdo%5Ftips%5Ffor%5Fparents%5Fof%5Fchildren%5Fwith%5Fautism%5Fand%5Ftypical%5Fkiddos) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Yes, it’s that time It’s that ‘back to school’ time. Yes, it’s sad to see the summer coming to a close and definitely time to get back to the school routine. ### Summer vs. School Routine Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture-shock for your child, and not too pleasant for you either. ### What to do (tips for parents of children with autism, and typical kiddos): 1. Begin slowly adjusting routines for earlier bedtime. 2. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet-reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. This is especially important if your kiddo has any anxiety issues. 4. Arrange play-dates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom, and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file-folders…). Integrate material-color with picture schedule. 7. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut-off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. 8. Pick-out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). 9. Use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10. Prepare school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. 11. Prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect, and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 12. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 13. Autism-Speaks also has some nice back-to-school bulletins (I especially like the ‘about me’ activity):[http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time](http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer.** ### Comparing Autism Treatments: The Relationship Builders vs The Skill Developers URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/comparing-autism-treatments-the-relationship-builders-vs-the-skill-developers/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:27.000Z The autism treatment landscape broadly divides into two philosophical camps: relationship-based approaches that prioritize social connection and emotional attunement as the drivers of development, and skill-based approaches, like ABA, that use structured teaching to build targeted competencies. Neither approach is universally superior; the evidence supports different methods for different children and different goals. Many effective programs integrate elements of both. What matters most is that the treatment is individualized, evidence-based, and delivered by qualified clinicians who understand the child's full profile. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides ABA therapy grounded in the science of behavior while remaining attentive to the relational dimensions of care. Visit our What Is ABA Therapy page to learn more about our approach. [Learn About ABA Therapy at ACP →](https://acpitt.com/parents/what-is-aba-therapy?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Let's Talk About How We Diagnose And Treat Autism Part III: Treatment of More Severe Autism URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-how-we-diagnose-and-treat-autism-part-iii-treatment-of-more-severe-autism/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:29.000Z Treatment for more severe autism, Level 2 and Level 3 ASD, demands a higher intensity of clinical support, a broader team of providers, and a longer-term commitment from families. Intensive ABA therapy is the most extensively researched intervention for severe autism, with strong evidence for improvements in communication, adaptive behavior, and reduction of challenging behaviors when delivered with sufficient hours and fidelity. Psychiatric support, speech-language therapy, occupational therapy, and IBHS services often play complementary roles. For families navigating severe autism, the coordination of services across providers is itself a significant challenge. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides comprehensive evaluation and treatment planning for the full autism spectrum. Visit our evaluations and services page to learn more. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Let's Talk About How We Diagnose and Treat Mild Autism — Part II: Treatment URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-how-we-diagnose-and-treat-mild-autism-part-2-treatment/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:30.000Z Treatment for mild autism, sometimes referred to as Level 1 ASD, or as Asperger's Syndrome, requires as much clinical precision as treatment for more severe presentations, even if the outward challenges look different. Children with mild autism often struggle most in the social and organizational domains: navigating peer relationships, managing sensory sensitivities, and coping with transitions and unexpected change. Effective treatment typically includes social skills training, cognitive-behavioral strategies for anxiety, and parent coaching. ABA therapy may also play a role, particularly in building organizational and adaptive skills. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides individualized treatment planning for the full range of autism presentations. Visit our evaluations and services page to learn how we approach treatment for mild and moderate ASD. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Let's Talk About How We Diagnose and Treat Mild Autism — Part I: Diagnosis URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-we-diagnose-treat-mild-autism-part-1/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:30.000Z Diagnosing mild autism, now classified as Level 1 ASD under the DSM-5, presents unique clinical challenges because the presentation can be subtle and easily attributed to anxiety, giftedness, or social awkwardness. Children with mild autism often have strong verbal skills and average to above-average intelligence, which can mask the underlying diagnosis for years. A thorough evaluation looks beyond surface-level functioning to assess the quality of social reciprocity, the presence of restricted interests, and sensory processing patterns that don't fit the typical profile. Early and accurate diagnosis remains the foundation of effective treatment. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides comprehensive diagnostic evaluations for mild, moderate, and severe autism presentations. Visit our evaluations and services page to learn more. [Learn About ACP Evaluations & Services →](https://acpitt.com/evaluations-services?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How to Listen so Your Kids Will Too: The Art of Reflective Listening URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/listen-kids-reflective-listening/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:31.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso You get into an argument with your spouse. You know your point is valid but you’re having trouble getting your mate to acknowledge your view; instead, he just wants to “move on” and “forget about it.” So, he tries to change the subject and you’re left feeling unheard and misunderstood. You’re simply not ready to “move on” and you feel ‘stuck’ and frustrated. As you’re stewing over the problem, you think that, if only your point of view was acknowledged, even in disagreement, you’d feel more at-ease and prepared to move-on. Well, the same thing happens every time you want to “move on” past your child’s disappointment, frustration, anger, or problem. Okay, here’s the scenario: your child complains that he does not want to stop playing that new video game, you just purchased for him, to empty the trash. You abruptly respond, in irritated fashion, for him to follow your direction “NOW” and ignore his obvious frustration. Okay, I know what you’re thinking; there are situations when there is simply no time for discussing the matter; nevertheless, you may find that, just as with your prior argument with your spouse, that a simple ‘reflective’ comment, acknowledging your child’s feelings, would help him to more quickly move beyond his feelings and carry-out the assigned task. For example, a comment such as “I understand it’s frustrating to be taken away from your new game. After you finish the chore you can return to playing” may prove to be quite helpful. Feeling ‘heard’ is extraordinarily powerful; it bolsters a sense of comfort and then allows for moving beyond, and past, the problem at hand. Otherwise, we tend to feel ‘stuck’ in the argument. Reflective listening is vital in all relationships, for topics that are both positive (“I’m so happy for your accomplishment, you worked so hard…”) and negative (“you’re feeling sad that your friend didn’t show-up, that can be disappointing”). In regards to this latter situation regarding the friend not showing up, the child will sense his feelings were acknowledged and more likely be willing to move forward to problem-solving, e.g. “why don’t you call your friend Timothy and see if he wants to come over instead.” In the absence of reflective listening, there is a tendency for your child to become argumentative (“I’m not calling Timmy, I wanted Jim to be here…”). You can more readily avoid such conflicts with your child, and with any other person in your life, by listening for, and acknowledging, their feelings. Try it; you may find yourself feeling happier too. God bless. ### SAD: More Than Just The Winter Blues URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:11.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The change of season blues](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/#The%5Fchange%5Fof%5Fseason%5Fblues) - [How Common](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/#How%5FCommon) - [Kids and Teens affected too](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/#Kids%5Fand%5FTeens%5Faffected%5Ftoo) - [What to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/#What%5Fto%5Fdo) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/sad-just-winter-blues/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### The change of season blues How many of you can relate to the dismay of darkness settling-in as early as 5:00 pm? I know it gets me down in the dumps. For some, however, it’s more than just feeling somewhat ‘blue’ in mood; some struggle with severe bouts of depression during this time of year, known as ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (SAD). This depression differs from it’s more typical counterpart in that the onset is rather predictable, usually around September or October, and corresponds with the shortening of daylight. ### How Common? As would be expected, depends on where you live. If you’re lucky enough to live in the cold Northern regions, rates go as high as 20%, but as low as 2% in brighter climates. Oh well, guess that’s bad news for all of us here in Pennsylvania. ### Kids and Teens affected too? This is not an adult-only malady. SAD usually begins in the teen years and strikes girls four times more than boys. Interestingly, teens born in the Spring or Summer are more likely to suffer from SAD than those born in the colder months. Not sure why, but may be because of how a child is light-programmed from early-on their life. ### What to do? Well, short of moving to Florida where it's still dark but at least it's warm and not so cloudy, treatment involves the systematic use of light. Guess this makes sense given the problem is based in lack of light. The ‘phototherapy’ involves sitting briefly in front of box that emits intense light, or the use of a Dawn Simulator; both are quite effective as well as traditional cognitive-behavioral talk therapy, and medication. ### Hope that helps If you’re feeling down, lacking in motivation, and blah in mood, or you notice your kids being exceptionally moody or agitated during the Fall and Winter months, then please do not hesitate to get help. You can reach me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com or call 412-372-8000\. You can find out more about SAD in an article on the e-Edition of the Exponent Telegram where I was interviewed about this form of depression. Check it out at [www.exponent-telegram.com](http://www.exponent-telegram.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) God bless. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:11.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What Im expected to do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor/#What%5FIm%5Fexpected%5Fto%5Fdo%E2%80%A6) - [Is there more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor/#Is%5Fthere%5Fmore) - [Seems only fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor/#Seems%5Fonly%5Ffitting) - [Tap into the Source](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor/#Tap%5Finto%5Fthe%5FSource) *During this very special time of year, in what has become a tradition, I am happy to re-post this special Christmas message. Here's wishing you and your kiddos a wonderful and blessed Christmas Holiday.* ### What I’m expected to do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). ### Is there more? Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems only fitting During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our **Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful** to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ### Tap into the Source Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the **Source** (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: jcarosso@cpcwecare.com ### Managing the Holiday Season URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:27.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Good Tidings%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Good%5FTidings%E2%80%A6) - [But%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#But%E2%80%A6) - [Father and mother knows best](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Father%5Fand%5Fmother%5Fknows%5Fbest) - [Shopping](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Shopping) - [Keeping the schedule](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Keeping%5Fthe%5Fschedule) - [Gifts and Toys](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Gifts%5Fand%5FToys) - [Some other tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Some%5Fother%5Ftips) - [Dont miss the Season](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-holiday-season/#Dont%5Fmiss%5Fthe%5FSeason) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Good Tidings… The Christmas and New Years Holiday really is magical and fun; a wonderful time of year that spreads warm feelings and cheer in families and communities throughout the world. The celebration is well deserved, and we all tend to look forward to this very special time of year. ### But… Yeah, there is a ‘but’ for many parents with kiddo’s struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and autism. In those homes, the hectic and often-times over-stimulating nature of this holiday season can bring about all sorts of behaviors, meltdowns, over-activity, and fixations. ### Father (and mother) knows best First, remember that you know your child best. Given the frequent changes in routine during the holiday season, you know whether your child fixates on the routine and if it’s best to not convey the daily schedule till the last minute, or if your child thrives on knowing the routine in advance and finds the information to be comforting. You also know whether it’s best to do all the decorations quickly, all at once, to get it over with; or if your child responds better to a slow and steady approach. ### Shopping You’ve also shopped enough with your child to know the best approach. The challenge during the Season is that these shopping trips are usually a bit longer, so it’s even more important to take breaks, have fun items to keep your kiddo’s busy, and work your way into each store maybe a bit slower than usual. Some kiddo’s respond well to headphones and darker tinted glasses. ### Keeping the schedule During the holidays, the daily routine that you’ve worked so hard to maintain usually becomes more unpredictable, but do your best to keep some semblance of routine and order. Social stories, written schedules, and visual schedules, and reminders can be very helpful. ### Gifts and Toys It can be helpful to wait until the last minute to arrange the gifts, given the temptation your child may face to open ahead of time. However, again, you know your child best and some find it very enticing and pleasant to see the presents, and would not dare open any until the designated time. Also, with that in mind, turn-taking to open presents can be coordinated by passing an ornament to whose turn it may be to open a present. Also, offering a quiet, out-of-the-way place for your kiddo to play with his new toys may also be helpful to avoid grabbing at other’s toys, becoming overly upset if somebody touches his toys, and causing disruption. ### Some other tips If your child has food sensitivities or is very finicky, you may want to bring some food along to Aunt Jennie’s house for the celebration. Also, before arriving, it may also help to show your kiddo pictures of who will be there, and what to expect every step of the way. Sometimes children respond better if they gradually mix-in with the crowd as opposed to all at once; and provide a ‘safe-haven’ if it becomes too overwhelming. You’re the best judge of how much your child can tolerate, so you’ll be keeping a watchful-eye, and intervening when necessary. Also, regarding the family, prepare them for what to expect from your kiddo and how they can help the situation rather than make it worse. ### Don’t miss the Season These were just a few tips to consider during this Christmas season. Most importantly; enjoy this time with your children, family, and friends. Relish these opportunities, no matter how chaotic or stressful they may become at times. In years ahead, you’ll look back and miss these days. Don’t miss them now. God bless you and your family during this blessed Christmas Season. ### Is Your Teen Under-Achieving? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:58.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What are the keys to teenage success](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#What%5Fare%5Fthe%5Fkeys%5Fto%5Fteenage%5Fsuccess) - [First things first](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#First%5Fthings%5Ffirst) - [How much oversight for a Teenager](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#How%5Fmuch%5Foversight%5Ffor%5Fa%5FTeenager) - [What if my teen rebels](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#What%5Fif%5Fmy%5Fteen%5Frebels) - [What else](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#What%5Felse) - [The paradox](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#The%5Fparadox) - [ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#ADHD) - [Leveraging the family and community-resources](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#Leveraging%5Fthe%5Ffamily%5Fand%5Fcommunity-resources) - [Can be a challenge](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-teen-under-achieving/#Can%5Fbe%5Fa%5Fchallenge) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### What are the keys to teenage success? There are lots of considerations, but the primary key is keeping your teen busy and on a regular schedule. You know the saying, "idle hands are the devil’s workshop." That’s as true for teens as for adults. If teens have too much downtime, they typically do not use it wisely and, paradoxically, they use their time less wisely than those who are busy. So, if your teen is earning less than optimal grades and using time unwisely, here are some things to consider: ### First things first... Establish a consistent after-school routine. There needs to be time set-aside for extra-curricular activities, homework, study, chores, mealtime, with some free-time mixed-in. Once the routine is established, it runs on auto-pilot. In the beginning, write-out and post the schedule. ### How much oversight for a Teenager? You’d prefer that your teenager is independent, taking care of daily homework and other responsibilities, and not need your oversight. Yes, that is preferred by everyone. As a parent, ultimately it’s your decision whether to back-off and let your child 'sink or swim' as an older teenager, or continue to provide the level of monitoring and cajoling you did when he or she was younger. This is not an easy decision, but if your teen is floundering and you don't provide some degree of discipline, it may not get better. However, some teens will independently rise to the occasion before completely coming off the rails; sometimes it’s a gamble and a nail-biter for the parent, but you know your child best and 'the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.' In that respect, if your child has typically been a stellar student, then it's less likely you'll need to intensively intervene (but you may need to implement some structure, and assess the problem-at- hand that led to the decline in the first place). ### What if my teen rebels? I’ve found the when/then scenario is most helpful. In that respect, no access to video games, or hanging with friends, or whatever, until after homework and study-time. True, they won't like being treated like a child, but you may have little choice if they are going to act like a child. Also, note that, in spite of your kiddo being a teen, you still hold all the cards. There is very little they have, or want, that you don’t provide, and could withhold. ### What else? A strong moral compass is vital; it sure helps if your voice is not alone in the background reminding them to ‘do the right thing’, and nothing better than getting to church or synagogue to bolster the spiritual side and, as well, involvement with the youth group. A mission’s trip is a nice touch too. I know you’re more than aware that ‘birds of a feather flock together’ so it helps to get your child involved with kids who are productive and focused. In the meantime, a part-time job is admirable, as is involvement in sports, clubs, groups, and other adult-supervised activities. ### The paradox School and academics come first, but often teens who are busy with jobs, sports, and clubs make better and more efficient use of their time compared to those who have too much time on their hands. In that respect, the latter group finds it too easy to procrastinate, often till it's too late, while the former has no such luxury. However, if you see you teen’s grades suffering because they just can’t manage all the activities, then time to set structure and limits for them. ### ADHD... If your teen struggles with ADHD, anxiety, or mood-related issues, then it's still potentially beneficial to keep them busy and active, and it's even more important to help them structure their time with a consistent routine, a distraction-free environment, organizational skills, and soothing/calming self-talk. ### Leveraging the family and community-resources Use family and community-based resources to add more structure to your teen's life. The idea is to allow for limited free time hanging with friends by keeping them super busy with school work, studying, going to church youth group, sports and, if a male, doing things with Dad (during the late pre-teen and teen years for males, the relationship with Dad, or a stable father-figure, is the key). If that prospect does not go well, and kiddo is rebelling, then it may be best to pursue some outside counseling. Some parents may have the kiddo talk with church youth pastor first, or maybe a trusted aunt or uncle. Either way, ideally, add structure and routine to your youth’s life (as I mentioned, most of the time, kids going down the wrong path have way too much free time). If the youth rebels when redirected, and refuses structure, then again you could leverage your power in the relationship (see above), have your child talk to the trusted family member, or youth pastor, and then, if necessary, arrange an appointment with me before things get too far off the rails. ### Can be a challenge Believe me, I know first-hand that raising a teen can be a challenge. The balancing-act between allowing the obligatory freedom while continuing to provide oversight and discipline can feel like walking a tight-rope over Niagara Falls. If you feel the walk is becoming too precarious, don’t hesitate to drop me an email with any questions at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com or feel free to call the office to make an appointment. Have a wonderful Christmas and New Years. ### Is Mild Autism Over-Diagnosed? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-mild-autism-over-diagnosed/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:32.000Z The question of whether mild autism is over-diagnosed is a legitimate clinical debate, one that reflects tension between expanding diagnostic criteria, increased awareness, and pressure from schools and families to obtain diagnoses that unlock services. Some researchers argue that broader DSM criteria and reduced diagnostic thresholds have led to the identification of individuals who are socially and behaviorally different but not meaningfully impaired. Others contend that expanded identification reflects improved recognition of presentations that were previously missed. What's clear is that diagnosis quality varies significantly across providers, and that a thorough, multi-method evaluation is the only reliable basis for any autism diagnosis. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides rigorous, comprehensive evaluations. Visit our Autism FAQ to learn more about our diagnostic process. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Why Taking Away Video Games, and Time-Out, Often Does Not Work URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:28.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Taking away video-games or TV or a toy%E2%80%A6 doesnt work Say it aint so](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Taking%5Faway%5Fvideo-games%5For%5FTV%5For%5Fa%5Ftoy%E2%80%A6%5Fdoesnt%5Fwork%5FSay%5Fit%5Faint%5Fso) - [Taking away privileges often makes the situation worse](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Taking%5Faway%5Fprivileges%5Foften%5Fmakes%5Fthe%5Fsituation%5Fworse) - [What about other punishments such as time-out](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#What%5Fabout%5Fother%5Fpunishments%5Fsuch%5Fas%5Ftime-out) - [Is this a common problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Is%5Fthis%5Fa%5Fcommon%5Fproblem) - [Lets start first with the most effective %E2%80%98punishment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Lets%5Fstart%5Ffirst%5Fwith%5Fthe%5Fmost%5Feffective%5F%E2%80%98punishment) - [How to make time-out work](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#How%5Fto%5Fmake%5Ftime-out%5Fwork) - [Step-by-step](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Step-by-step) - [Why time-out in a childs room is most effective](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Why%5Ftime-out%5Fin%5Fa%5Fchilds%5Froom%5Fis%5Fmost%5Feffective) - [Okay so now I understand how to use time-out what about loss of privilege](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#Okay%5Fso%5Fnow%5FI%5Funderstand%5Fhow%5Fto%5Fuse%5Ftime-out%5Fwhat%5Fabout%5Floss%5Fof%5Fprivilege) - [There ya go](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/taking-away-video-games-time-often-not-work/#There%5Fya%5Fgo) Written by Dr. John Carosso I decided to re-post this post because, as of late, this issue has repeatedly been broached during my talks with parents. I hope you find this to be helpful. ### Taking away video-games (or TV, or a toy…) doesn’t work? Say it ain’t so! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the tried-and-true discipline method of taking away video-games, a favorite toy, or whatever else, is largely ineffective and, in fact, counter-productive. How can that be, you ask, when taking away a favorite activity is probably the most commonly-used behavior management strategy parents have in their arsenal? Well, here’s the truth the matter. ### Taking away privileges often makes the situation worse! Here is the scenario, a child does not do their chores or back-talks; parent yells and then takes away the video games “for a week!!!”. Child yells back, negotiates, parent may or may not follow-through. If the parent follows through, child pesters incessantly to get the video-games back. If parent removes the games at all, it’s definitely not for an entire week. The next time the child misbehaves (an hour later or the next day…) the parent does not have video-games to use as a punishment (they’re already taken away). So, in that scenario, the threat of taking away video games (or whatever) results in worse behavior due to the emotion stirred at losing the favored item, the subsequent pestering, and not having the games to use later as a punishment. Does that sound effective? ### What about other punishments (such as time-out)? If taking away privileges is the ‘numero-uno ‘ of punishments, then time-out is a very close second. However, how does that work for you? You put your child on the steps or in a corner; takes 15 minutes of yelling, cajoling, and emotion to get them in time-out in the first place, they fuss once there (yell-out when is it going to be over, get teased by their siblings, seek attention from you…), won’t stay there, and then finally they “complete” time-out after maybe a few minutes of quiet, if that. ### Is this a common problem? I’ve heard 10,000 times (maybe more) “I’ve tried that, it doesn’t work” when suggesting discipline strategies to parents. I don’t blame them; they’re right; these strategies, as they are typically used, don’t work. This is why counseling with a professional who can offer solid suggestions is so important given that implementing punishments the right way is not easy thing. ### Lets start first with the most effective ‘punishment’ I’ll start with best ‘punishment’, if used correctly, that a parent has in his or her arsenal. Just to clarify, I think rewards, kudos, the softer-and-closer approach… are far more effective than any punishment, but at some point a parent has to set serious limits, and nothing beats time-out if used properly. ### How to make time-out work The key to time-out is that it’s used without any pestering (just say “1”, “2”, “3”) and absolutely no emotion. There is no arguing, fussing, or carrying-on no matter the child’s reaction; rely on the consequence not your words or your emotion. ### Step-by-step - The child is directed to time-out (is walked there in a calm manner) - Time-out is in their room, not in a corner or on the steps. This way, the child is out of sight and can’t seek attention. - The child is informed, ahead of time, that the door will remain open if they remain calm. If they yell, the door will be closed. If the child will not stay in their room, well, there are some good options but that’s beyond the scope of today’s post; email me and we’ll go into that further. ### Why time-out in a child’s room is most effective The nice thing about time-out in the room is that it immediately ends the emotion, gives a chance for everyone to calm and, when it’s over, it’s over and you move on!!! The child can do whatever he or she wants in the room except electronics. You can take away toys and books to make it more aversive if necessary. ### Okay, so now I understand how to use time-out, what about loss of privilege? Loss of privilege can be effective, but there are specific ways to make it work. First, differentiate between immediate loss of privilege that is used until a task is accomplished (premack principle, or “when/then”). In this manner, ‘when’ your child has cleaned his room or done his homework, he can ‘then’ go out to play. The ‘not being able to go out to play’ is the loss of privilege, and is withheld immediately until the unfavored task (chore) is done. The other form of loss of privilege can be used over a 24 hour period. This way, every day, specific tasks need to be accomplished (homework, chores, respect toward parent…); if the task(s) are accomplished by a specific time each day (say, 8:00PM), then the next day the child earns the privilege (video games, going out to play…); if not, then the next day the privilege is not earned. Each day is a new day and dependent on what happened the day before. In this scenario, it’s vital to make sure the tasks are achievable, and that the child has a fair shot in actually completing the task; otherwise, you’re dooming your child to failure. ### There ya go There is a basic overview of why loss of privilege and time-out often are woefully ineffective, and how to improve your chances of positive outcomes. This post was a bit longer than usual but there is still so much more to say; I could write a book on this subject alone (hmmmm) so feel free to ask any questions at DrCarosso@aol.com. Happy disciplining. ### Laughter Is the Best Medicine, For Kids Too! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:10.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Does this lighten the mood for you](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Does%5Fthis%5Flighten%5Fthe%5Fmood%5Ffor%5Fyou) - [How about this one](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#How%5Fabout%5Fthis%5Fone) - [We love to laugh](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#We%5Flove%5Fto%5Flaugh) - [If youre a funny person by nature](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#If%5Fyoure%5Fa%5Ffunny%5Fperson%5Fby%5Fnature) - [How to use humor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#How%5Fto%5Fuse%5Fhumor) - [Yes its easier when they are younger](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Yes%5Fits%5Feasier%5Fwhen%5Fthey%5Fare%5Fyounger) - [Time for another funny story](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Time%5Ffor%5Fanother%5Ffunny%5Fstory) - [Other ideas](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Other%5Fideas) - [Some other thoughts on the matter and tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Some%5Fother%5Fthoughts%5Fon%5Fthe%5Fmatter%5Fand%5Ftips) - [No time for that](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#No%5Ftime%5Ffor%5Fthat) - [Is this reinforcing bad behavior](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Is%5Fthis%5Freinforcing%5Fbad%5Fbehavior) - [How long do I have to do that](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#How%5Flong%5Fdo%5FI%5Fhave%5Fto%5Fdo%5Fthat) - [Some more funnies](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Some%5Fmore%5Ffunnies) - [When using humor be sure not to%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#When%5Fusing%5Fhumor%5Fbe%5Fsure%5Fnot%5Fto%E2%80%A6) - [Now go and have fun and be silly](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Now%5Fgo%5Fand%5Fhave%5Ffun%5Fand%5Fbe%5Fsilly) - [Okay some closing thoughts an attempt at humor and a touching quote that targets what were all trying to accomplish in our parenting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/laughter-best-medicine-kids/#Okay%5Fsome%5Fclosing%5Fthoughts%5Fan%5Fattempt%5Fat%5Fhumor%5Fand%5Fa%5Ftouching%5Fquote%5Fthat%5Ftargets%5Fwhat%5Fwere%5Fall%5Ftrying%5Fto%5Faccomplish%5Fin%5Four%5Fparenting) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Does this lighten the mood for you? *A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"* *"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.* *"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her \*husband\*!"* ### How about this one: *Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"* *The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"* *The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"* ### We love to laugh Yep, we love to laugh, and so do our kids. It lightens our mood, helps us to forget our worries, refocuses our problems, and helps to bolster relationships especially during times of stress. Yes, discipline is stressful for both kids and parents and what better time to lighten the mood and break the tension. ### If you’re a funny person by nature Definitely take advantage of a good sense of humor and, if you have a sense of humor, good for you!! It’s a wonderful gift, and great to use in your parenting repertoire. If you’re not so funny, you can develop the skill. You just need to look for the opportunities. ### How to use humor Here are some ideas of how to lighten the mood, but first, a few jokes: *My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.* *When my kid is screaming in a restaurant and I'm not doing anything it's because I'm waiting for a stranger to step in and handle it.* Okay, back to the topic at-hand: keep in mind that you already know how to use humor and silliness to get your child to comply. In fact, you started with your kids, when they were very young, making chores fun by introducing the task with a playful sing-song voice (the ‘clean-up song…’), being silly, making a game of it, and doing all sorts of fun things to help promote motivation (yours and theirs). As your kiddo has gotten older, yes, more independence is expected, but do we need to remove all aspects of fun and silliness from the endeavor? ### Yes, it’s easier when they are younger If you’re prone toward silliness and you have not completely lost all child-like inclinations, you can have a ball with your kiddo even during chore-time. When giving directives, you can use different voices (opera singer, John Wayne, Scooby Doo), and if your child back-talks, falling to the floor and playing dead is a hoot. Actually, falling to the floor to play dead, faking a trip and falling, or falling for any reason is something kids find to be hilarious (pretending to fall over the stuff on the messy floor of his bedroom, then bouncing back up with a pair of pants on your head…). Fake crying when your kid is giving you a hard time, crying like your child does, and really pouring it on, is funny and also breaks the tension and reduces power-struggles. Also, never miss an opportunity for a tickling session. However, as our kids get older, we tend to become less silly, which is a shame. Nevertheless, there are still many ways to use humor and change-things-up a bit. ### Time for another funny story: *A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year-old girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long." He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out." The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap." The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen..." The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy... I'm Ellen."* ### Other ideas Change things up; think outside the box. For example, if your child fusses about the clothes you picked-out for her, or won’t get dressed, then let her pick-out your clothes, or tell her that, if she won’t wear them, then you’ll wear her clothes and she has to wear your clothes. Or, if won’t brush the teeth, then you tell your kiddo that you’re going to show them how, but you do it in a crazy and silly way. Another fun idea is playfully tell your child “I’m going to get you” and chase them, rather than demanding they “come here now!!! It’s fun, silly, and diverts the power struggle. I have no doubt you can think of more fun and sillier ideas than my lame suggestions (by nature, I’m not a very funny person ☹, but the important thing, is ‘that that do’ not ‘what you do’). Kids appreciate the effort, they really do. Also, kids don’t want to be outdone, so they’ll get silly right back, and you both can have a lot of fun during times that are typically stressful. Having a fun sense of humor is contagious and both parents and kids will get into the act, so to speak. It really helps to improve the mood of the home, and helps kids to want to help-out, rather than feeling forced. ### Some other thoughts on the matter, and tips: A good sense of humor, not taking things too seriously, and putting things into perspective, is a tool that kids can rely on throughout life to help them. The ability to see the humor in things will also: - help your kiddo’s to see things from many perspectives other than the most obvious - help your kids to be spontaneous and fun - grasp unconventional ideas and think outside the box - see beneath and beyond the surface of things - enjoy and participate in the playful aspects of life - recognize that life simply isn’t as much fun without being at least somewhat child-like - not take themselves or most situations too seriously ### No time for that!!! I know what you’re thinking; “we’re on a tight schedule, I don’t have time for all the silliness, we have to get things done….”. I hear ya; however, I’m not sure that fighting with your child, for an hour, over what she is going to wear is saving you a lot of time. ### Is this reinforcing bad behavior? It could be seen that way. However, could also be seen as being creative, thinking outside the box, avoiding the ‘gulag approach’ to parenting, and helping to get things done that usually don’t get done. ### How long do I have to do that? You may be wondering “do I act silly and use humor all the time, like every morning…”? Well, you could, but then it might lose its impact, not to mention your child would think you’re, well, wacky. However, just like with anything else, now and again and mixing-in any given strategy, including humor, can be very effective. ### Some more funnies: **How sad but true is this one:** *We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.* **Another one, but not so sad (unless true for your situation at work):** *Parenting tip: Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work. Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums, and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not fully developed – Robert Brault.* ### When using humor, be sure not to… Don’t be sarcastic!! Using sarcasm is demeaning, belittling, causes bad feelings, and defeats the purpose of trying to use humor. Yes, sometimes sarcasm can be effective, but be very careful. ### Now go and have fun and be silly! Now go and be silly, happy, funny, and child-like with your kids! ### Okay, some closing thoughts, an attempt at humor, and a touching quote that targets what we’re all trying to accomplish in our parenting: *"Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughs?"* *Anonymous* *"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble."* *Martin Mull* *“There's no one in there.”* *A 6-year-old while watching his father knock on the wall to find a support beam to hang a picture frame* *“When I’m too big for you to hold, I’ll hold you instead.”* *Ashley, age 5* ### Summer Outings: Managing Your Child's Public Behavior URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:48.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Here are some tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Here%5Fare%5Fsome%5Ftips) - - [Prepare and Practice](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Prepare%5Fand%5FPractice) - [Many children find busy supermarkets to be stimulating if not over-stimulating Here are some things to think about](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Many%5Fchildren%5Ffind%5Fbusy%5Fsupermarkets%5Fto%5Fbe%5Fstimulating%5Fif%5Fnot%5Fover-stimulating%5FHere%5Fare%5Fsome%5Fthings%5Fto%5Fthink%5Fabout) - - [Over-Stimulation](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Over-Stimulation) - [Problems to Target](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Problems%5Fto%5FTarget) - [Behavior management is the key remain consistent and remember that what works at home will often work in public as well Here are some tips](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Behavior%5Fmanagement%5Fis%5Fthe%5Fkey%5Fremain%5Fconsistent%5Fand%5Fremember%5Fthat%5Fwhat%5Fworks%5Fat%5Fhome%5Fwill%5Foften%5Fwork%5Fin%5Fpublic%5Fas%5Fwell%5FHere%5Fare%5Fsome%5Ftips) - - [Behavioral Approaches](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Behavioral%5FApproaches) - [Here are some tips to effectively redirect your child to what you want himher to do rather than what you dont want](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Here%5Fare%5Fsome%5Ftips%5Fto%5Feffectively%5Fredirect%5Fyour%5Fchild%5Fto%5Fwhat%5Fyou%5Fwant%5Fhimher%5Fto%5Fdo%5Frather%5Fthan%5Fwhat%5Fyou%5Fdont%5Fwant) - - [Distraction and Redirect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Distraction%5Fand%5FRedirect) - [People sometimes find it necessary to put-in their %E2%80%98two-cents here are some ways to deal with that frustration](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#People%5Fsometimes%5Ffind%5Fit%5Fnecessary%5Fto%5Fput-in%5Ftheir%5F%E2%80%98two-cents%5Fhere%5Fare%5Fsome%5Fways%5Fto%5Fdeal%5Fwith%5Fthat%5Ffrustration) - - [Dealing with Others Judgements](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Dealing%5Fwith%5FOthers%5FJudgements) - [Safety First](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childs-public-behavior/#Safety%5FFirst) Written by Dr. John Carosso Public outings with your child can be quite challenging and demanding, and there tends to be more outings over the summer recess. Children sometimes find the environment, whether it be a store or amusement park, to be over-stimulating, and want to carry-out the outing ‘on their terms’ rather than on yours. However, if you plan in advance, there are some strategies to improve the situation and make the outing more tolerable, if not pleasurable. #### Here are some tips: ##### Prepare and Practice - Just like anything else, behavior during an outing is a skill that is learned over time - Role-play at home (set-up a mock store or restaurant) - Short stints; increase exposure; daily outings (in and out, but longer over time). Brief stint at local deli, then to restaurant… - Agree on rules prior to leaving - Clear explanation of where going, expectations for behavior, and rewards (or consequences) if things go well, or not so well - Clear guidelines: what will happen during the outing, where you’ll be going, what they will do (park, walk, go to a particular store, ride in cart, take a snack break, ride certain rides or not ride some rides at a park…) and how long it will take. Remind them of where you are in the outing (picture schedule can be very helpful). - Provide clear direction on how to behave well: hold hand, stay close, frequently tell them how they’re doing and offer tons of praise and give little tokens for good behavior whenever you see good behavior, or every so often during the outing. They can trade-in the tokens for desired items. . - Prepare well in advance: Visual schedule - Show photos ahead of time of where you’re going - Develop Social Stories about public outings - Limit how often, length, and where you shop depending on your child’s tolerance level - Bring along favorite toys, food, familiar item - Not tired or hungry (either of you) - Keep trips short, take breaks, and use a stroller - Ask psychologist to prescribe accommodations at Park - Get child involved in the shopping (ask questions, child can help find items – keep child occupied). - Give child money to make their own purchases. - Avoid tempting places, or keep in small doses - Be careful of your own attitude and fatigue (keep upbeat, happy…) - Go at off-hours (6-7 PM or early in the AM, or early in the week). Know the store layout in advance (bathrooms, exit, food, water fountain, babysitting, fire extinguishers (that was a joke)…). - Have another adult with you - Definitely have back-up if taking multiple kiddos’ - Take along a wish list. When he sees something he can’t have, add to wish list. Share enthusiasm for desired items. #### Many children find busy supermarkets to be stimulating, if not over-stimulating. Here are some things to think about: ##### Over-Stimulation - Simply too overloading for some children (Chuckie-Cheeses…) - Brushing and compression - Take breaks / short stints - Noise Reducing headphones - Redirect to details (focusing on specific items or areas of the store helps to squelch child feeling overwhelmed by the surroundings) - Deep breaths; count to ten - Avoid long lines, large crowds, noisy environments - Don’t push the limits - At times it’s best to simply not take your child ##### Problems to Target: - Boredom - Overstimulation - Hunger - Fatigue (tough for those little legs to keep-up) - Problem behavior can be a form of communication. Note triggers, problem areas, and anything predictable. #### Behavior management is the key; remain consistent and remember that what works at home, will often work in public as well. Here are some tips: ##### Behavioral Approaches - Be consistent with behavior management in all settings (between home, school, community) - Reinforce good behavior (you get what you praise; and be specific in your praise) - Intervene and make eye contact as soon as a misbehavior occurs; redirect to replacement behavior. - Use time-out in the store. Take a break outside the store. Avoid losing your cool. However, does not need to be a “punishment” but, rather, a time outside the store to calm #### Here are some tips to effectively redirect your child to what you want him/her to do, rather than what you don’t want: ##### Distraction and Redirect - Tell them what to do, not what not to do - 1-2-3 Magic - Have a plan ahead of time; always have a Plan B. - Remove to private place to discipline - Give choices (stand beside me or stop at the end of the aisle) - Get eye contact before giving a direction - Make a game of shopping (What cereal is in the yellow box; I spy) - Stores are like over-sized classrooms that just happen to sell things (make it an opportunity for learning and this strategy also helps to keep the child busy, and keeps their attention) - count the number of items you neen - find the items based on color or size - make a list at home, and have child help find the items - Name the foods in the cart, how they can be used, where they came from - Use all senses; notice smells, texture, differences in color - Older children can request paper or plastic; give coupons… #### People sometimes find it necessary to put-in their ‘two-cents’; here are some ways to deal with that frustration: ##### Dealing with Other’s Judgements - Autism Awareness Cards (explains autism and how to be supportive) - “My child is autistic, what’s your problem?” - T-shirt: I have autism; be nice to my Mom - Simply ignore - Find some merit in their complaint (child making noise in a restaurant…) - Keep it in perspective (all kids freak sometimes in stores; it’s kinda funny sometimes) #### Safety First - Never leave child alone unsupervised in car. - Name tag. - Some parents have some success using a harness and tethering device (“leash”) that can be used in more extreme situations where safety is an issue. However, important to ‘fade’ off the leash for increasing periods of time while using high levels of reinforcement, ie. Praise, stickers.... ) - Service K-9 - Investigate and prepare ahead of time - Have plan in case separated - Keep child close (hold hands or the cart, or steer the cart, or hang on cart) I hope these tips prove to be helpful and make your outings more fun and enjoyable. Happy Travels!! ### What if Doctors Give You Two Different Opinions? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:47.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The not-uncommon problem](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#The%5Fnot-uncommon%5Fproblem) - [Why does this happen](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#Why%5Fdoes%5Fthis%5Fhappen) - [What about diagnostic criteria](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#What%5Fabout%5Fdiagnostic%5Fcriteria) - [Does this apply to other diagnoses as well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#Does%5Fthis%5Fapply%5Fto%5Fother%5Fdiagnoses%5Fas%5Fwell) - [What to do if you get two different opinions](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#What%5Fto%5Fdo%5Fif%5Fyou%5Fget%5Ftwo%5Fdifferent%5Fopinions) - [How to address the matter](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#How%5Fto%5Faddress%5Fthe%5Fmatter) - [What else do I typically recommend](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#What%5Felse%5Fdo%5FI%5Ftypically%5Frecommend) - [Does the type of clinician matter](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#Does%5Fthe%5Ftype%5Fof%5Fclinician%5Fmatter) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/doctors-give-two-different-opinions/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### The not-uncommon problem So, it’s not entirely uncommon that I see a kiddo and find that, prior, he had not been diagnosed with autism, but I find rather clear evidence to the contrary; or vice versa (but more often it’s the former issue). It’s understandable that those situations are very frustrating and confounding for a parent; they don’t know who to believe or where to turn. This problem usually stems around the diagnosis of autism, but sometimes also for Bipolar and ADHD. ### Why does this happen? This issue largely stems from the spectrum being very wide, and sometimes clinicians are looking for the more classic and stereotyped signs of autism that simply are not present. In that respect, a clinician might think that a child cannot have autism if they have good eye contact, or are social, have some friends, show shared enjoyment, are conversational, and don’t show much in the way of self-stimulatory behavior. However, it may be overlooked that the child is social but is socially awkward and, while he has friends, they recognize he is ‘different’. The child may be conversational and not prone toward ‘stims’, but is obsessive, has a mildly unusual speech cadence, sensory issues, and be highly routine-dependent among other things. ### What about diagnostic criteria? You may be thinking, isn’t there straight-forward diagnostic criteria and, either the criteria is met, or it ain’t. In a way that’s true, and there are also specific tests for autism such the ADOS and GARS. However, here’s the problem; even the criteria and tests are open to clinical judgement and a child may, for example, struggle with emotions or social skills, but for lots of different reasons. Most importantly, a child may present well in an office, but struggle in a social setting in the school or community, which is why parent-report is so vital to the diagnostic process. Of course, this is especially true for milder cases (it’s always easy to diagnosis something in a severe form). ### Does this apply to other diagnoses as well? You bet it does. The big question, in milder cases of just about any disorder, is whether the signs and symptoms are severe enough to ‘cross the line’ and be diagnosable. The milder the symptoms, the more clinical judgement comes into play. The more clinical judgement that comes into play, the more of a chance that you’ll get two different opinions. This is also truer for younger children; you’re much more likely to get a false-negative (no diagnosis when criteria are actually met) for a 2.5 year-old than a 7 year-old. Diagnoses that can be confounding in this respect would also include ADHD, Bipolar, and Reactive Attachment Disorder. However, again, the issue of getting countering opinions can be a problem with any given diagnosis. ### What to do if you get two different opinions First, take a deep breath and realize that this discrepancy can occur in any medical or behavioral health condition and, if it’s any consolation, note that it most likely reflects that your child’s symptoms are quite mild; if the symptoms were moderate to severe, there would be no differing of opinions. In that respect, I’ve found that, for some children, the symptoms are evident but very mild and it’s simply a matter of being a ‘borderline’ diagnosis. In those situations, it would be expected that one clinician may believe that the symptoms barely ‘cross the line’ but is diagnosable, while another does not; either way it’s very mild and clearly open to opinion and I clearly explain that issue during the evaluation. ### How to address the matter To resolve, take note of five factors: 1.) the rationale of the practitioner who believes your child does not have the disorder, 2.) the rationale of the clinician who believes your child does have the disorder, 3.) the opinions and comments of other practitioners or professionals who have worked with your child such as speech pathologists or teachers, 4.) what concerns and symptoms that brought you to the clinician in the first place, and 5.) your own belief based on direct and daily observation. As you weigh these factors, take note of which explanation seems to make the most sense, which is most logical and reasonable, and which ‘fits’ best with what you observe and your experience with your child now and over the course of time. Of course, you can always get a third opinion. ### What else do I typically recommend? In these situations, I am usually able to get the parent onboard because I clearly and explicitly explain how I’m coming-up with the diagnosis, and do so in a manner that is very parent-friendly and understandable. However, where there are remaining questions (those “borderline” cases), I begin the child in therapy, either in-office or in-the-home, and I use the eyes of the therapists to help guide the subsequent diagnostic process. In that respect, I maintain regular contact with the therapists to obtain information about what they observe during each session and whether it fits with my diagnosis. Ultimately, we are able to ‘figure it out’ one way or the other. My primary goal, in the meantime (while we ascertain the diagnosis) is to ensure that the child receives the proper level of treatment. I do not let diagnostic uncertainty, on anyone’s part, interfere with the kiddo being connected with therapists and practitioners who can work toward and promote progress. Moreover, I may use a “provisional” diagnosis that reflects evidence of signs and symptoms, but that more evidence needs to be garnered. ### Does the type of clinician matter? Yes, it matters. Practitioners who are specifically trained to make such a diagnosis would include a Licensed Child Psychologist, and/or a Board Certified Child Psychiatrist. These two types of professionals are specifically trained, more than other types, to diagnosis behavioral health conditions. ### Hope that helps Getting two different opinions can be quite frustrating and exacerbating. If you encounter such a difficulty, I hope this posts helps in guiding you through the process to a definitive resolution. Please feel free to comment or question at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com, especially if you’ve experienced something similar. God bless. ### Is ADHD a Real Disorder? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:49.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Recent publication](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#Recent%5Fpublication) - [I digress](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#I%5Fdigress) - [What makes a disorder a disorder](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#What%5Fmakes%5Fa%5Fdisorder%5Fa%5Fdisorder) - [What about context](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#What%5Fabout%5Fcontext) - [More about using context to our advantage](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#More%5Fabout%5Fusing%5Fcontext%5Fto%5Four%5Fadvantage) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-real-disorder/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Recent publication A syndicated child psychologist recently wrote an article claiming that ADHD is not a real disorder and kids are ‘just being kids’ and not demonstrating signs of a disorder by being active or distracted. I formerly enjoyed reading that psychologist’s work, but have become increasingly disillusioned over time. In addition to writing that ADHD is not a genuine disorder, he also comes across as exceptionally harsh in his punishment, and seems to expect kids to be like little automotons and, if they dare disobey, he suggests sequestering the little criminal to their his room for weeks, sometimes even months, no joke. ### I digress Okay, back to the topic at-hand; is ADHD a real disorder? First, it has been clinically documented for over 100 years that some children are far more active and inattentive than others, and sometimes their activity level, and the extent of their distractibility, can get in the way of their daily functioning. This concept is nothing new; and the concept was not originated by pharmaceutical companies. ### What makes a disorder a disorder? How do we come to classifying something as a disorder? There are any number of factors, including that there needs to be a consistent set of predictable signs, symptoms and characteristics, occurring together, preferably from some identifiable cause (not always the case, and may stem from multiple causes) that are significantly interfering with daily functioning, and not better explained by some other disorder or identifiable cause. Does that fit with the ADHD? I think so. ### What about context? Context is very important. You see, the extent to which something is considered to be a disorder, and it’s prevalence, depends on where you are, and when you’re living in history. Consider dyslexia, for example, if you were growing-up 150 years ago in a rural community, the disorder of “dyslexia” probably would not exist, and definitely wouldn’t be anywhere near as prevalent as today. However, as many people as today would have problems with reading, but no one would know about it, or care, because the ability to read was not a big priority. That same fact would hold true in some areas of the world today where rates of illiteracy are very high. In those places, there is little opportunity to learn to read in the first place. What about ADHD? The same holds true; growing up 150 years ago on a farm would be conducive to a high activity level. There might still be problems with distractibility and not thoroughly completing chores, but such would likely be far less of an issue when compared to today when kids have to sit, all day, in a classroom. So, yes, in that respect, the diagnosis of ADHD is subject to context. ### More about using context to our advantage It’s not necessarily a matter of any given modern-day disorder not being a genuine disorder, instead it’s a matter of context that often makes the disorder more relevant and problematic. Given that reality, (that context plays a role) we need to seriously consider changing the context of our current educational programming and, even at home, regarding how we carrying-out activities. In that respect, would kids with ADHD and dyslexia have such a rough time, and would their condition be as problematic, if the kiddo’s had the opportunity to work on tasks while moving, run before each lengthy seated assignment, read with their ears rather than their eyes, complete assignments in shorter stints (I could go on and on) then maybe the condition(s) would be far less impactful. ### Hope that helps It’s vital that children with genuine disorders get the help they need. Denying the issue exists will only worsen the problem, make people question the need for help, and blame the child for their behavior. We need common-sense solutions that not only help to remedy the symptoms of the disorder, but also make the symptoms less problematic in the first place. We need to think outside the box. Let’s start doing that today. God bless. ### Let's Talk About “Bribing” Our Kids URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:18.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Are parents %E2%80%9Cbribing%E2%80%9D their kids Yikes](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#Are%5Fparents%5F%E2%80%9Cbribing%E2%80%9D%5Ftheir%5Fkids%5FYikes) - [Are we all going to jail](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#Are%5Fwe%5Fall%5Fgoing%5Fto%5Fjail) - [So why arent we all in jail](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#So%5Fwhy%5Farent%5Fwe%5Fall%5Fin%5Fjail) - [Are we doing that](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#Are%5Fwe%5Fdoing%5Fthat) - [Why is it wise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#Why%5Fis%5Fit%5Fwise) - [Hope that helps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-bribing-our-kids/#Hope%5Fthat%5Fhelps) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Are parents “bribing” their kids? Yikes! Parents often talk of “bribing” their child and, when they use the term, there is a sense of ‘doing the wrong thing’, making the situation worse, and even a sense of guilt. However, in actuality, when using the term, parents are often simply conveying the idea of giving their child something extra to promote obedience. I would suggest, by that definition, we all “bribe” our kids on a daily basis. ### Are we all going to jail? Well, yes, we would be if, in fact, we were offering bribes. You see, giving a “bribe” is illegal. So, if you bribe anyone for anything, then off to jail you go. ### So why aren’t we all in jail? Because we’re not bribing our kids. A bribe is an incentive, often in monetary form, to promote something corrupt or illegal. ### Are we doing that? Nope, we’re not. Instead, we are simply giving our kiddo’s some incentive to behave. That’s not illegal. In fact, it’s very legal, and quite wise. ### Why is it wise? We all need an incentive to accomplish goals. We hope that the incentive is internalized (i.e. our kids do the chore because they want to and realize that it’s just ‘the right thing to do’) but for many kids that’s just not the case. Also, in all fairness, sometimes it’s just harder for some kids, with ADHD for example, to pay attention and stay focused; they are using far more energy than other kids to accomplish tasks and they tend to tucker-out quicker. Consequently, we need to provide some external motivation (a reward or prize) for them to exert that extra energy and then fade the reward over time as the child matures, learns better coping skills, and internalizes the motivation. . It’s not much different from you getting a paycheck for doing your work, though hopefully your paycheck does not fade over time. In any case, we all need motivation of some sort. ### Hope that helps It’s a brief explanation, but I hope that helps to clear-up the difference between a “bribe” and simply offering an incentive for your child to complete their chores. Now go give those bribes, oops, I mean rewards. ### Self-Stimulatory Behaviors and Sensory Overload URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behaviors-sensory-overload/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:25.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The Sensory Aspect](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behaviors-sensory-overload/#The%5FSensory%5FAspect) - [All the senses](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behaviors-sensory-overload/#All%5Fthe%5Fsenses) - [Replacement behaviors](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behaviors-sensory-overload/#Replacement%5Fbehaviors) - [Defense Mechanisms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behaviors-sensory-overload/#Defense%5FMechanisms) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### The Sensory Aspect The general conceptual idea is that kiddos with autism have difficulty filtering and processing stimuli in the environment; it’s just too much stimuli coming from all the different senses and that overload causes them to self-regulate with stims. Consequently, children may find the SSB to be very comforting. In fact, they find the behavior to be calming and an important part of their day, especially when they feel stressed. ### All the senses? Yes, the sensory aspects are often spread over different senses, such as visual, auditory, factory, tactile, and kinesthetic. In that respect, a child may be seen putting objects in front of their eyes, or to the sides, which is called ‘peripheral gazing’. The sensory aspect can also be auditory; the child may want to hear something over and over, a particular sound or a song, or may want to hear the fast-forwarding and rewinding of videos (which also has a visual aspect). Tactile is also common where kiddos want to touch people’s hair, feel certain items and textures, but may also be tactilely defensive where they can’t wear certain clothing given it’s just too irritating, which makes getting dressed in the morning a challenge. Olfactory may not quite as common as the tactile or visual, but these kiddo’s may want to smell everything, or experience everyday smells as especially noxious. Then there is taste and texture issues can be a real problem during mealtime. We then move into kinesthetic, proprioceptive, and vestibular that all sort of go together; the jumping, hopping, spinning, bouncing that is so common. ### Replacement behaviors? A common replacement behavior for the kinesthetic-based SSB is a trampoline, as opposed to hopping in the classroom. Children may be provided a particular time and place where they can jump on a trampoline. However, it’s important to be careful because there are behavioral and avoidance tendencies to consider. In that respect, if a kiddo has learned that jumping out of their seat during an unfavored math assignment will result in being permitted to jump on a trampoline then, while there may in fact be a valid sensory issue, the kiddo may also just not want to do the math assignment. Attention seeking too can be an issue; if three people attend to the child when they stim; well, that’s cool, so they’re going to keep stimming in the classroom. Consequently, we must be careful not to secondarily reinforce attention-seeking. ### Defense Mechanisms? In the next post, I’m going to discuss the extent to which SSB are ‘defense mechanisms” and the subsequent implications. Stay tuned. ### Autism and "Self-Stimulatory Behaviors" URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-and-self-stimulatory-behaviors/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:33.000Z Self-stimulatory behaviors, commonly called "stimming", are repetitive movements or sounds that many autistic individuals use to regulate sensory input and emotional state. Hand-flapping, rocking, spinning, vocal repetition, and similar behaviors serve real neurological functions and are not simply habits to be eliminated. The clinical question isn't whether stimming exists, but whether a particular behavior is disruptive, harmful, or interfering with learning and social participation, and if so, what replacement behaviors or environmental modifications can address the underlying need. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh approaches stimming as part of the broader sensory and behavioral profile of each client, developing individualized strategies that respect the function of the behavior while supporting the child's growth. Contact ACP to discuss your child's behavioral needs. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Completing a Functional Behavioral Assessment - Dr. C's Morning Minute 173 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/completing-a-functional-behavioral-assessment-dr-cs-morning-minute-173/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:55.000Z Observations, interviews and other data collection about a child's behavior patterns all go into a comprehensive Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA). Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### What is a Functional Behavioral Assessment FBA Dr C's Morning Minute 172 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-a-functional-behavioral-assessment-fba-dr-cs-morning-minute-172/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:59.000Z A Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) helps to break down, in a systematic way, issues that contribute to a child's behaviors and what the child is getting or avoiding through each behavior. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 171 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-oppositional-defiant-disorder-odd-dr-cs-morning-minute-171/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:57.000Z ODD is a diagnosable disorder, but it's very important to look for any underlying issues that are causing your child to be oppositional and defiant. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Does Time-Out Work With ADHD? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 170 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/does-time-out-work-with-adhd-dr-cs-morning-minute-170/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:20.000Z Time-Out might not be the most effective discipline for children with ADHD, who are known to act impulsively and not think about consequences. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Do Disorders Really Exist? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 169 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-disorders-really-exist-dr-cs-morning-minute-169-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:13.000Z Some people believe that disorders like Autism are just human differences that should be accepted and accommodated. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Don't We All Have Some Type Of Disorder? - Dr C's Morning Minute 167 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dont-we-all-have-some-type-of-disorder-dr-cs-morning-minute-167/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:22.000Z Everyone has, at some point, anxieties or particular behaviors and habits. But that doesn't necessarily translate into a diagnosis of some type of disorder. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### ADHD and Autism: Are They One and the Same? — Dr. C's Morning Minute 168 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-and-autism-are-they-one-and-the-same-dr-cs-morning-minute-168/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:34.000Z In this Dr. C's Morning Minute episode, Dr. John Carosso addresses one of the most common questions parents ask: are ADHD and autism the same condition? The short answer is no, but they share significant overlap in presentation and frequently co-occur. Both involve attention, regulation, and social challenges; both are rooted in neurodevelopmental differences; and both often require similar types of clinical and educational support. The diagnostic distinction matters because the treatment picture differs, particularly around medication and behavioral intervention priorities. For in-depth information about the relationship between ADHD and autism, and to understand ACP's evaluation process, visit our Autism FAQ page. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Treatment for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Dr. C's Morning Minute 166 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treatment-for-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-dr-cs-morning-minute-166/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:35.000Z Teaching children with OCD "healthy self-talk" and other coping mechanisms can help them to see that there is no connection between their compulsive behaviors or rituals and their ominous thoughts. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Differences Between Obsessive Behavior in Autism and OCD — Dr. C's Morning Minute 165 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/differences-between-obsessive-behavior-in-autism-and-ocd-dr-cs-morning-minute-165/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:35.000Z Obsessive or repetitive behavior appears in both autism and OCD, but the underlying mechanisms, and therefore the appropriate treatment, are quite different. In autism, restricted and repetitive behaviors are typically experienced as pleasurable or self-regulating; they are intrinsic to the individual's way of interacting with the world. In OCD, obsessions and compulsions are ego-dystonic, the person experiences them as unwanted and distressing, and performs compulsions to reduce anxiety. Getting this distinction right is clinically critical: standard OCD treatment protocols don't translate directly to autism, and misdiagnosis can lead to ineffective or counterproductive interventions. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides differential diagnosis expertise for complex presentations. Contact us to discuss your child's specific concerns. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Similarities Between Self-Stimulatory Behaviors and OCD: Dr C's Morning Minute 164 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/similarities-between-self-stimulatory-behaviors-and-ocd-dr-cs-morning-minute-164/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:35.000Z Children with OCD and autism spectrum disorder can exhibit similar patterns of intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. Learn more on Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### "Joining" and "Pairing" to Redirect Self-Stimulatory Behaviors - Dr. C's Morning Minute 163 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/joining-and-pairing-to-redirect-self-stimulatory-behaviors-dr-cs-morning-minute-163/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T15:25:46.000Z It can be a slow process, but having your child adapt to being around other children, observe them in an appealing activity, and eventually imitate them, can successfully redirect self-stimulatory behavior. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Joining With Your Child to Avert Self Stimulatory Behaviors Dr C's Morning Minute 162 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/joining-with-your-child-to-avert-self-stimulatory-behaviors-dr-cs-morning-minute-162/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:07.000Z When your child's self-stimulatory behavior keeps them from appropriate play and social interactions, try to "join" them in an activity, stay in their gaze, and guide their behavior while doing something enjoyable. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Are These Behaviors Defense Mechanisms? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 161 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behavior-are-these-behaviors-defense-mechanisms-dr-cs-morning-minute-161/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:16.000Z Even with non-verbal children, parents can make an educated assessment about their child's self-stimulatory behaviors. Depending on the behavior and its causes, your child might benefit from treatment approaches that curtail or modify the behaviors. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Medical Contributors - Dr. C's Morning Minute 160 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behavior-medical-contributors-dr-cs-morning-minute-160/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:18.000Z There could be a connection between your child's self-stimulatory behaviors and physical discomfort from headaches or constipation. Keeping track of self-stimulatory behaviors in a journal can help to identify correlations between those behaviors and medical issues. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Sensory Overload - Dr. C's Morning Minute 159 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behavior-sensory-overload-dr-cs-morning-minute-159/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:23.000Z Children on the autism spectrum might exhibit self-stimulatory behaviors as a negative reaction to sensory overload, or, they might be purposefully repeating tactile or visual behaviors because they enjoy doing it. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Part 5 - Dr. C's Morning Minute 158 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behavior-part-5-dr-cs-morning-minute-158/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:20.000Z There is an overwhelming amount of great information about self-stimulatory behaviors available online. And a good deal of it can be confusing and contradictory. But does that make it bad information? Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Managing Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Part 4 - Dr. C’s Morning Minute 157 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-self-stimulatory-behavior-part-4-dr-cs-morning-minute-157/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:31.000Z A counseling approach often works well for children on the upper end of the Autism spectrum who have obsessive thoughts and interests. Learn more on Dr. C’s Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Managing Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Part 3 - Dr. C’s Morning Minute 156 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-self-stimulatory-behavior-part-3-dr-cs-morning-minute-156/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:28.000Z Focusing on the antecedent, or trigger, of a child’s scripting, hopping or other self-stimulatory behavior is a more effective way to manage the behavior. Learn more on Dr. C’s Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Causes of Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Dr. C's Morning Minute 155 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/causes-of-self-stimulatory-behavior-dr-cs-morning-minute-155/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:42.000Z Kids who exhibit self-stimulatory behaviors are making themselves feel good, but the cause of the behavior could be excitement or stress. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Managing Self-Stimulatory Behaviors, Part 2: Dr. C's Morning Minute 154 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-self-stimulatory-behaviors-part-2-dr-cs-morning-minute-154/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:36.000Z When we work individually with children with autism who exhibit self-stimulatory behaviors, we try to shape the behavior into something that is socially appropriate. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Managing Self-Stimulatory Behaviors, Part 1: Dr. C's Morning Minute 153 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-self-stimulatory-behaviors-part-1-dr-cs-morning-minute-153/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:33.000Z Interventions to help children on the autism spectrum manage self-stimulatory behaviors, such as hand flapping or thinking and talking about one subject for weeks, should be tailored specifically to the child. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Treating Dyslexia: Dr. C's Morning Minute 152 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-dyslexia-dr-cs-morning-minute-152/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:33.000Z Children with Dyslexia benefit from a two-pronged treatment approach that helps them with phonetic awareness and to transition from being "eye readers" to "ear readers". DyslexiaTreaters.com is a good online resource for parents. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Managing Childhood Lying: Dr. C's Morning Minute 151 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/managing-childhood-lying-dr-cs-morning-minute-151/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:26.000Z Children tend to tell the truth if they know their parents will react calmly and appreciate their truthfulness. Avoiding drama is one approach to encourage your kids to be honest. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Problem Solving Before Punishing: Dr. C's Morning Minute 150 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/problem-solving-before-punishing-dr-cs-morning-minute-150/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:50.000Z Behavior issues offer an opportunity to teach your child problem solving skills. Try to find common ground with each other on how to change things before resorting to punishment. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Relish These Times With your Kiddo - Dr. C's Morning Minute 149 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/relish-these-times-with-your-kiddo-dr-cs-morning-minute-149/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:06.000Z Remember that one day, you will miss your kids pestering you. A reminder to stay in the moment on today's Morning Minute. ### Non-Traditional Approaches - Dr. C's Morning Minute 148 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/non-traditional-approaches-dr-cs-morning-minute-148/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:01.000Z Before turning to essential oils, dietary restrictions or other non-traditional approaches to help your child, do thorough research to learn all of the pros and cons. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### The TEACCH Program - Dr. C's Morning Minute 147 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-teacch-program-dr-cs-morning-minute-147/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:28.000Z The structure and routines of the TEACCH Program can benefit typical children as well those with autism, ADHD and communication issues. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Teaching the TEACCH Method URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:51.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [What does TEACCH stand for](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#What%5Fdoes%5FTEACCH%5Fstand%5Ffor) - [Okay so what is it](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#Okay%5Fso%5Fwhat%5Fis%5Fit) - [Something you need to see](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#Something%5Fyou%5Fneed%5Fto%5Fsee) - [How can you use the TEACCH program](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#How%5Fcan%5Fyou%5Fuse%5Fthe%5FTEACCH%5Fprogram) - [Start slowly%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#Start%5Fslowly%E2%80%A6) - [Feedback](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-teacch-method/#Feedback) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### What does TEACCH stand for? It’s an acronym for the Treatment and Education of Autistic and Communication Related Handicapped Children (quite a mouthful). It was developed at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill in the early 1970’s by Eric Schopler. ### Okay, so what is it? The idea is that some kids do much better as visual learners; consequently, with TEACCH, everything is set-up to be very visual with color and physical barriers being used to create very clear boundaries, work-spaces, organization, and structure, on which many kids thrive. Under the TEACCH method, kids know where to be, what to do once they’re there, how to do it, and are better-able to work through their tasks with independence because of the structure. It’s effective, really, for any kiddo who needs some extra guidance; not just children with autism or communication issues. ### Something you need to see! TEACCH can be explained, but it’s much more impressive and impactful if you see it first-hand. So, go to youtube and search “TEACCH” and you’ll see plenty of videos providing lots of great visual descriptions of what TEACCH is all about. This is one of my favorites (that little girl is too cute) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkymZzmg4jw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkymZzmg4jw&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) But there are plenty of others that show how it works. ### How can you use the TEACCH program? The strategy is geared toward classrooms and educational environments; but who says you can’t incorporate elements of TEACCH into your own home. Your child’s room can use bright colors to section-off areas for different purposes; to help organize for clean-up, using visuals and visual-schedules to guide your child through the day; it’s all fair-game and very adaptable to the home. ### Start slowly… You may find it worthwhile to take the time, watch some of the videos, and read-up on how the system works. Incorporate small elements to your home and to your child’s daily schedule, and increase the elements over time. You may want to start with schedules and visual schedules given they are pretty easy, kids love them, and they tend to be very effective. ### Feedback Please let me know how it goes, and if you have any questions along the way. You can email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. Also, I’d love to know what aspects of the program are working best for you. Thanks for your feedback and God bless you and yours. ### The After-School Routine - Dr. C's Morning Minute 146 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-after-school-routine-dr-cs-morning-minute-146/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:57.000Z An effective after-school routine builds in consistent times for relaxation, homework and other activities. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### The Morning Routine - Dr. C's Morning Minute 145 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-morning-routine-dr-cs-morning-minute-145/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:17.000Z Delegating jobs to each family member and being prepared to have breakfast on the go can help you get through the morning routine and out the door on time. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### The Power of 'Routine' - Dr. C's Morning Minute 144 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-power-of-routine-dr-cs-morning-minute-144/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:23.000Z A routine is a powerful thing. Without a routine, we become much less efficient in our everyday life. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts and questions below, or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Discipline: Top 10 Parenting Strategies – Dr. C’s Morning Minute 143 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/discipline-top-10-parenting-strategies-dr-cs-morning-minute-143/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:06.000Z Today's Morning Minute provides a Top 10 list of effective ways to guide your child's behavior. Start out the New Year with positive parenting methods that create a peaceful household. Please contact me with any questions, concerns, or comments. ### Discipline: Sticker Chart Success - Dr. C’s Morning Minute 142 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/discipline-sticker-chart-success-dr-cs-morning-minute-142/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:04.000Z Continuing my advice on how to make effective discipline a successful New Year's resolution, today's Morning Minute spells out methods that make motivational sticker charts work for children of different ages. Please feel free to ask any questions or add your comments. ### Discipline: Making Time out Work - Dr. C's Morning Minute 141 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/discipline-making-time-out-work-dr-cs-morning-minute-141/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:02.000Z Have you tried "time out" as a method of disciplining your child without success? In today's Morning Minute, learn a few ways to tweak time out to make it more effective. As always, I welcome your comments and questions. ### Discipline: Common Methods with Mixed Results - Dr. C's Morning Minute 140 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/discipline-common-methods-with-mixed-results-dr-cs-morning-minute-140/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:00.000Z Would you like a more harmonious home in the New Year? Watch today's Morning Minute for some approaches to discipline that provide consistent results and create a positive environment. As always, I welcome any comments or questions. ### Capturing the Power of Routine URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:39.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Lets try an experiment](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#Lets%5Ftry%5Fan%5Fexperiment) - [How %E2%80%98Routine helps us](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#How%5F%E2%80%98Routine%5Fhelps%5Fus) - [Take advantage of %E2%80%98routine for your kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#Take%5Fadvantage%5Fof%5F%E2%80%98routine%5Ffor%5Fyour%5Fkids) - [Use visuals](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#Use%5Fvisuals) - [Yes life gets in the way](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#Yes%5Flife%5Fgets%5Fin%5Fthe%5Fway) - [What if my kiddo resists](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#What%5Fif%5Fmy%5Fkiddo%5Fresists) - [See what happens](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#See%5Fwhat%5Fhappens) - [Check out my video-blog](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/capture-power-routine/#Check%5Fout%5Fmy%5Fvideo-blog) Written by Dr. John Carosso ### Let’s try an experiment **Step #1 of the experiment:** Think about your morning routine from the time you awaken in the morning till you get the kids off to school, or till you get off to work. Think only of the things you do for yourself to get yourself ready, not what you do to get your kids ready. **Step #2** Break down each task into the smallest of steps, and think of every step along the way. **Step #3** Now change just one of steps, or the order of just one of the steps. **Step #4** Take note: How did that work out for you? ### How ‘Routine’ helps us We don’t fully realize how much we accomplish on ‘autopilot’. If we had to think about all the tasks we accomplish, we’d be completely exhausted before noon. By relying on routine, we can simply put ourselves on ‘autopilot’ and not really even think about what we’re doing; we just do it. That can include even complex tasks such as driving to work, making dinner, and doing chores around the house. ### Take advantage of ‘routine’ for your kids If there are certain tasks for your kids to accomplish, it would behoove you to set-up a very specific routine, and stick to it. To the extent possible, do the same things, in the same order, at the same time, and the same way. This way, it becomes a habit, a natural part of the routine, and starts to get accomplished on ‘auto-pilot’ rather than with your ongoing pestering. It’s important to remove all distractions because, if your kiddo ventures over to the TV rather than to the next step, the progress toward habit-formation just got disrupted. ### Use visuals!!! To assist in this process, use visual reminders (pictures of your child completing each step of the routine), simple checklists on a whiteboard, and keep the environment as organized and compartmentalized as possible (this section of the room is for studying, this section for sleeping, this is where your toys go…). The goal is for your child to rely more on the visual reminders, less on you, and over time rely less even on the visuals. ### Yes, life gets in the way No, it’s not possible to always carry-out a consistent schedule/routine all the time, but it is possible to carry out most of the time. The more you stick to the schedule, and maintain a consistent routine, the easier it gets. ### What if my kiddo resists? No need to wonder about that; your kiddo will, at times, resist. When they are playing video games and it’s time to move-on to the bedtime routine, I doubt they will always going to happily to their room to start getting ready. In those instances, use when/then prompts (when you’re done getting ready for bed, then you can have some free time to read before going to sleep… remember, we’re reading that story you really like…”). Also, simply walk over, turn off the games, and provide a gentle physical prompt to get your kiddo in the right direction. Remember, relying on your words often won’t get you very far; rely instead on routine, consistency, and consequences. ### See what happens Go ahead, give it a try and see what happens when you establish a consistent routine and stick to it. By the way, this applies for a three year-old, a 13 year-old, and a 23 year old; routine is vital for all of us and, without it, we’d all be having a much rougher time getting through the day. ### Check out my video-blog! By the way, don’t forget to check-out my video posts right here at HelpForYourChild.com (three new posts per week) and at my [Youtube channel.](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) Have a wonderful week, and God bless. ### 504 Plan Accommodations: Helpful Interventions – Dr. C’s Morning Minute 139 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/504-plan-accommodations-helpful-interventions-dr-cs-morning-minute-139/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:24.000Z Punishments and reprimands are not usually effective when working with children who have a 504 Plan or IEP because of attention issues. Today's Morning Minute describes some of the best strategies for helping your child both at home and school. ### 504 Plan Accommodations Get the Kiddos Moving - Dr. C's Morning Minute 138 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/504-plan-accommodations-get-the-kiddos-moving-dr-cs-morning-minute-138/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T15:25:52.000Z Some kids just can't sit still, and it can lead to difficulty in school. In today's Morning Minute, we learn about an effective accommodation for overactive children that isn't always used as part of a 504 Plan or IEP. Please feel free to comment or ask a question! ### 504 Plan Accommodations: The Attention Zone - Dr. C's Morning Minute 137 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/504-plan-accommodations-the-attention-zone-dr-cs-morning-minute-137/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:26.000Z A 504 Plan or an IEP will ensure that your child receives the accommodations he or she needs to do their best in the classroom. Today's morning minute talks about one common accommodation provided in both 504 Plans and IEPs. Feel free to ask questions or comment below. ### What is the difference between a 504 Plan and an IEP? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 136 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-the-difference-between-a-504-plan-and-an-iep-dr-cs-morning-minute-136/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:01.000Z The 504 Plan is based in a civil rights law from 1973 and provides for accommodation in a regular education program. An IEP is based on based on special education law. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to add comments or ask questions! ### Anti Bullying Programs: What Works - Dr. C's Morning Minute 135 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/anti-bullying-programs-what-works-dr-cs-morning-minute-135/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:01.000Z A vigilant school staff is key to a successful anti-bullying program. Learn more about the approaches and techniques that really work to combat bullying in today's Morning Minute. Feel free to add comments or ask a question. ### Anti Bullying Programs: Why They Don't Work - Dr. C's Morning Minute 134 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/anti-bullying-programs-why-they-dont-work-dr-cs-morning-minute-134/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:03.000Z Almost every school has an anti-bullying program. But some might have a hidden agenda or inadvertently teach children how to bully. Learn more on this morning's Morning Minute. Please feel free to add your comments or ask questions. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-12-23-16-old/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:14.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **What I’m expected to do…** As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). **Is there more?** Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? **Seems only fitting** During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our *Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful* to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? **Tap into the Source** Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the *Source* (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: jcarosso@cpcwecare.com ### Anti Bullying Programs: Do They Work? - Dr C's Morning Minute 133 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/anti-bullying-programs-do-they-work-dr-cs-morning-minute-133/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:58.000Z I wanted to follow up on my earlier posts regarding bullying and talk about anti-bullying programs in your schools. Learn more on this morning's Morning Minute and please feel free to add comments or ask questions. ### ADHD Facts and Fallacies Part IV: Medication - Dr. C's Morning Minute 130 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-facts-and-fallacies-part-iv-medication-dr-cs-morning-minute-130/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:42.000Z A common concern among parents is that their child will suffer side effects from medication. 70% of kids with genuine ADHD symptomology respond quite favorably to medication. Side effects tend to be minimal and well managed. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Please feel free to ask your questions or comment below. To schedule an appointment, visit CPCWeCare.com ### ADHD Facts and Fallacies Part III Can Kids Outgrow ADHD? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 129 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-facts-and-fallacies-part-iii-can-kids-outgrow-adhd-dr-cs-morning-minute-129/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:39.000Z About 2/3 of children do not outgrow ADHD, it is a lifelong issue. Coping strategies may improve as kids mature and so sometimes there is much more control over the problem. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Please feel free to ask your questions or comment below. ### Preparing your Child for the Christmas & Holiday Season - Dr. C's Morning Minute Special URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-child-for-the-christmas-holiday-season-dr-cs-morning-minute-special/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:48.000Z For many parents with kiddos struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and Autism, the Holiday Season can be an extra stressful time. Watch today's Morning Minute Special on how to prepare your child for the season. You can also find more information on my blog at [/](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/) ### Preparing your Child for the Christmas & Holiday Season URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-child-for-the-christmas-holiday-season/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:45.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Good Tidings…** The Christmas Holiday is magical; a wonderful time of year that spreads warm feelings and cheer in families and communities throughout the world. The celebration is well deserved, and we all tend to look forward to this very special time of year. **But…** Yea, there is a ‘but’ for many parents with kiddos struggling with any number of behavioral health or developmental issues such as ADHD and autism. In those homes, the hectic and often-times over-stimulating nature of this holiday season can bring about all sorts of behaviors, meltdowns, over-activity, and fixations. **Father (and mother) knows best** First, remember that you know your child best. Given the frequent changes in routine during the holiday season, you know whether your child fixates on the routine and it’s best to not convey the daily schedule till the last minute, or if your child thrives on knowing the routine in advance and finds the information to be comforting. You also know whether it’s best to do all the decorations quickly, all at once, or if your child responds better to a slower approach. **Shopping** You have shopped enough with your child to know the best approach. The challenge during the Season is that these shopping trips are usually a bit longer so it’s even more important to take breaks, have fun items to keep your kiddo’s busy, and work your way into each store a bit slower than usual. Some kiddo’s respond well to headphones and darker tinted glasses. Give lots of praise and kuddo's along the way. **Keeping the schedule** During the holidays, the daily routine that you’ve worked so hard to maintain with consistency usually becomes more unpredictable and varied. Social stories, schedules and visual schedules, and reminders, can be very helpful. However, again, when you convey the information will vary from child to child. **Gifts and Toys** It can be helpful to wait until the last minute to arrange the gifts under the tree, given the temptation your child may face to open ahead of time. However, again, you know your child best and some find it very pleasant to see the presents and would not dare open any until the designated time. Also, with that in mind, turn-taking to open presents can be coordinated by passing an ornament to whoever's turn it may be to open a present. Offering a quiet, out-of-the-way place for your kiddo to play with his new toys may also be helpful to avoid grabbing at other’s toys, becoming overly upset if somebody touches his toys, and causing disruption. **Some other tips** If your child has food sensitivities or is very finicky, you may want to bring some food and bring it along to Aunt Jennie’s house for the celebration. Also, before arriving, it may also help to show your kiddo pictures of who will be there, and what to expect every step of the way. Sometime children respond better if they gradually mix-in with the crowd as opposed to all at once; and provide a ‘safe-haven’ if it become too overwhelming. You’re the best judge of how much your child can tolerate, so you’ll be keeping a watchful-eye, and intervening when necessary. Also, regarding the family, prepare them for what to expect from your kiddo and how they can help the situation rather than make it worse. **Don’t miss the Season** These were just a few tips to consider during this Christmas season. Most importantly; enjoy this time with your children, family, and friends. Relish these opportunities no matter how chaotic or stressful they may become at times. In years ahead, you’ll look back and miss these days. Don’t miss them now. God bless you and your family during this blessed Christmas Season. **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Preparing Your Child for the Christmas & Holiday Season' for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/Vav7VoswpYs?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### ADHD Facts and Fallacies Part II: Using ADHD as an Excuse - Dr. C's Morning Minute 128 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-facts-and-fallacies-part-ii-using-adhd-as-an-excuse-dr-cs-morning-minute-128/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:37.000Z We, as parents and professionals, need to make sure that we have a good base line understanding of what our kids are capable of before the ADHD gets in the way. Hold them to that, pushing the envelope a little bit to increase their level of independence. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Please feel free to ask your questions or comment below. ### ADHD Facts and Fallacies- Part I: Is there one test for ADHD? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 127 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-facts-and-fallacies-part-i-is-there-one-test-for-adhd-dr-cs-morning-minute-127/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:44.000Z How do we diagnose ADHD? There is a protocol that we use that has to do with core symptoms seen in multiple settings. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to ask your questions or comment below. ### Bullying Part III: Cyber Bullying and Female Adolescent Depression - Dr. C's Morning Minute 126 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bullying-part-iii-cyber-bullying-and-female-adolescent-depression-dr-cs-morning-minute-126/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:37.000Z There is some recent research out of John Hopkins indicating that rates of depression for teenagers is escalating, particularly for adolescent females. The research makes a connection between the fact that girls spend more time on social media and that is contributing to the increased rates of depression. Learn more on today's Dr. C's Morning Minute. Share your thoughts below or contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bullying Part II: Dealing with Teasing-Dr. C's Morning Minute 125 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bullying-part-ii-dealing-with-teasing-dr-cs-morning-minute-125/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:34.000Z Any time that you get kids together, there is going to be teasing. How a child responds to the teasing is vital. It is imperative that we help them increase the tools in their toolbox to help them to respond in a way to help decrease the teasing. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. ### Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part IV- The Words We Use URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-part-iv-the-words-we-use/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:29.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **The parent’s balancing act** As parents, we want give our kids lots of kudos and praise, but we also want to be realistic and help our children to have an accurate self-appraisal so, ten years from now, they don’t end-up on American Idol making a fool of themselves because they think they have a particular talent when they don’t. **Best picture you’ve ever seen…?** So your child proudly shows you a picture and is seeking your feedback. You notice that the picture is ‘okay’; no work of art compared to what other kids his or her age would produce. You could say that this is the best picture you’ve ever seen and you love it but, if you keep that up, you’re looking at a future American Idol moment. **What to do instead** You can, and should, always find something positive to enthusiastically praise. It may be the bright blue sky in the picture, or a cute smiley face in the sun. It may be the obvious effort your child put into making the picture (you can, and should, always praise effort, no matter the outcome). You can also praise your child for even minor progress in any one step along the way of completing or mastering a task. No matter the need for improvement, you’re going to give tons of praise for that small improvement. Always find something to praise before offering ‘constructive criticism’. In fact, give at least 5 praises for each constructive criticism. **The power of words** It’s vital to be affirming, positive, enthusiastic, and praising in our comments to our kids. See my prior post ‘[*The Recipe for Ruining a Perfectly Good Kid*](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-recipe-for-ruining-a-perfectly-good-kid-april-4-2013/)’ for more on how our words can damage. However, we’re going to avoid that by always finding something to praise before we critique, and giving lots of kuddos for effort. This way, you can be guaranteed to bolster, not deflate, your child’s self-esteem. God bless. **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part IV, The Words We Use' for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/Wm9eNi6UK3g?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### Bullying Part I: Types of Bullying - Dr. C's Morning Minute 124 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bullying-part-i-types-of-bullying-dr-cs-morning-minute-124/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:32.000Z In Part I of a 3 part series about bullying, I introduce the series by talking about the different types of bullying and the traditional viewpoints regarding them. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Reducing Labels & Stigma - Dr. C's Morning Minute 123 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/reducing-labels-stigma-dr-cs-morning-minute-123/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:00.000Z Our goal is that individuals who are having challenges and issues in terms of behavioral health, feel comfortable in seeking out help. On today's Morning Minute, I talk about reducing labels and stigma surrounding behavioral health diagnoses. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Speech Language Difficulties and Dyslexia - Dr. C's Morning Minute 122 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/speech-language-difficulties-and-dyslexia-dr-cs-morning-minute-122/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:40.000Z Is there a connection between speech & language difficulties and Dyslexia? I answer that for you in today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part III- The Power of Achievement URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-childs-self-esteem-part-iii-power-achievement/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:27.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Gotta earn it: the power** The fact is that, for the most part, self-esteem cannot be given, it has to be earned. We earn a positive feeling about ourselves largely because we have accomplished meaningful things over the course of any given day or week. What is “meaningful”?; well, our kids and I often intuitively know the answer to that question. Playing video games all day and reaching level 10 is an accomplishment, but kids and parents alike know that it’s not an especially meaningful achievement. **The process is as important as the outcome** Consequently, we emphasize achievement, even the process of working toward achievement, every chance we get. We want our kids to know, in no uncertain terms, that life is about completing certain tasks, doing them well, and feeling good about it. This could mean getting ready for school, doing homework, raking the leaves, throwing a baseball with better mechanics, or helping a friend with a chore. The process is just as important as the outcome; working hard to achieve a goal, even if your child faces “failures” along the way, is what it’s all about (they won’t see it that way, but you can help them to see it that way). **Strengths, passions, and aspirations** Discover your child’s interests, passions, strengths, and aspirations, then go to work! Get them involved in clubs, activities, sports, and/or working directly with you in working toward building on those strengths. It’s vital that even the smallest improvement or accomplishment is seen for what it is; a super important achievement. **Bolstering self-esteem bolsters self-confidence** The idea is that your child, at bedtime, can look back on his or her day and see what has been accomplished, and feel proud and good about themselves. This is how our kids grow not only in self-esteem, but in self-confidence to take-on ever-increasing challenges in the years ahead. Hope that helps to highlight the importance of achievement in the development of self-esteem and self-confidence. God bless. **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part III, The Power of Achievement' for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/i6GheE8GVQM?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part II- Relationship with You URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-part-ii-relationship-with-you/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:23.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Where we left off** We had discussed, in Part I, the importance of your child’s relationship with God in enhancing his or her self-esteem. Next we move-on to the most important person in your child’s life. **So, who is that most important person?** Well, it’s you. Yes, go figure; you’re far and away the most important person in your child’s life. No one else even comes close. **Birds of feather…** We often hear the term ‘birds of a feather flock together’ and we know what it means. However, I’m using it a bit differently here. We can gain prestige via with whom we associate. If your child perceives you as super-valuable and esteemed, and you’re taking time out of your busy schedule to hang-out with him or her, then what does that say about him or her? **Take the time** Spending time with your child, whether teaching how to better-throw a ball, helping to get dressed in the morning, playing a board-game, or just going for a walk is like a fuel-tank pouring gasoline, under high pressure, into your child’s esteem-tank. Even better, it makes you feel pretty good too. God bless. **Two more to go** That’s the second of the four keys to enhancing self-esteem. Two more to go! **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part II, Relationship with You' for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/sOLGLp6a1Xo?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### Early Intervention for Parents - Dr. C's Morning Minute 121 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/early-intervention-for-parents-dr-cs-morning-minute-121/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:43.000Z You've heard of early intervention for your children and the importance of that for children with Autism and children with other developmental disabilities. A recent study has expounded the importance of early intervention for parents. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### How Depression Will Deflate a Child's Self Esteem - Dr. C's Morning Minute 120 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-depression-will-deflate-a-childs-self-esteem-dr-cs-morning-minute-120/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:06.000Z In children with depression, we find that they cannot appreciate their achievements because they don't fully recognize them, they minimize them. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy treatment will dissect these negative thoughts that are typically irrational, unreasonable, and unrealistic. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### ADHD & Autism- Is ADHD Over-Diagnosed? Dr. C's Morning Minute 119 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-autism-is-adhd-over-diagnosed-dr-cs-morning-minute-119/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:11:32.000Z A recent study by the University of Manchester suggests that ADHD is often over-diagnosed with Autism. Is that the case? Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bolstering Your Child's Self Esteem Pt. 4 - Dr. C's Morning Minute 118 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-pt-4-dr-cs-morning-minute-118/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:16.000Z Today, in part 4 of my 4 part series, let's talk about bolstering your child's self-esteem by choosing your words. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part I- Relationship with God URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-childs-self-esteem-part-relationship-god/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:21.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso Parents often express concerns to me about their child’s apparent lack of self-esteem. I’ve found the process of bolstering a child’s self-concept to be a four-step process; these four steps include your child’s relationship with God, relationship with you (the parent), achievement, and the words you use. I’ll explain each over the next four posts. **Where it all starts** I suppose it’s only fitting to begin this discussion, of bolstering your child’s self-esteem, with the One with whom it all began, our Heavenly Father. I’ve found that it’s incredibly heartening for your child to be taught and often-reminded that our All-Powerful God and the Creator of the universe has called them by name, adopted them into His family, is guiding by the hand, loves and cares for them more than words can say, has a specific plan for their life, and will see that plan through to fruition. **Hard to feel down…** It’s kinda tough to feel down in the dumps when placed in such a high position of being a child of God. A strong spiritual walk and understanding also helps to put things into perspective, give a reason and purpose to life, an understanding of the future and death, and can be a calming and reassuring influence. It’s no accident that research consistently shows that those who have a strong spiritual walk tend to be happier, more content, and less prone toward depression and anxiety. **That’s the first step** Okay, I hope you found this first step to bolstering your child’s self-esteem to be helpful. I’ll cover the next three over the next three posts. In the meantime, I think you know what you can be doing with your kiddo 😉 **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video 'Bolstering Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Part I, Relationship with God' for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/Sp2-KoiEMgo?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### Bolstering Your Child's Self Esteem Pt. 3 - Dr. C's Morning Minute 117 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-pt-3-dr-cs-morning-minute-117/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:13.000Z Today, in part 3 of my 4 part series, let's talk about bolstering your child's self-esteem by helping them earn it through meaningful achievement. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bolstering Your Child's Self Esteem Pt. 2 - Dr. C's Morning Minute 116 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-pt-2-dr-cs-morning-minute-116/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:11.000Z Today, in part 2 of my 4 part series, I talk about how the relationship between you and your child helps bolster your child's self esteem Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Bolstering Your Child's Self-Esteem Pt . 1 - Dr. Cs Morning Minute 115 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/bolstering-your-childs-self-esteem-pt-1-dr-cs-morning-minute-115/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:18.000Z Today begins the first of a 4 part series on how to bolster your child's self esteem and aspects on how to do that. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### The CPC Intake Process - Dr. C's Morning Minute 114 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-cpc-intake-process-dr-cs-morning-minute-114/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:02.000Z If you are interested in having your child evaluated at Community Psychiatric Centers, watch today's Morning Minute where I discuss details of the intake process and what to expect. ### Childhood Anxiety Disorders - Dr. C's Morning Minute 113 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/childhood-anxiety-disorders-dr-cs-morning-minute-113/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:47.000Z Childhood Anxiety Disorders include the fear of going to school, separation, and the fear all of the "what-ifs" that could happen. Learn more by watching today's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### What Causes Childhood Disorders? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 112 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-causes-childhood-disorders-dr-cs-morning-minute-112/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:39.000Z I'm often asked, "What is causing my child to have a particular disorder?". Genetics, among other things, can play a large role. Learn more by watching today's video. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Should we reason with our kids? - Dr. C's Morning Minute 111 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/should-we-reason-with-our-kids-dr-cs-morning-minute-111/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:33.000Z Is it okay to reason with your child, as opposed to the "do it because I said so" approach? Find out by watching this morning's Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Dr. C's Morning Minute Videos URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-cs-morning-minute-videos/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:25.000Z Dr. C's Morning Minute videos provide daily insights to effectively manage your child's ADHD, Autism, behavioral and emotional issues, Dyslexia, and more. To see the latest videos [click here](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) and to view the archived videos [click here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3mKdCbmz3rbSoBGsnujkAKTi9a5uJIW1&ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). Your questions and comments are welcomed at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. God Bless! ### Autism & Obsessions — Dr. C's Morning Minute 110 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-obsessions-dr-cs-morning-minute-110/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:37.000Z Obsessive interests are one of the hallmark features of autism, and one of the most misunderstood. What looks from the outside like an unhealthy fixation is often, for the autistic individual, a source of genuine joy, expertise, and identity. The clinical concern arises when an obsessive interest becomes so consuming that it crowds out other necessary activities, or when it becomes a barrier to social connection and learning. The goal of clinical intervention is rarely to eliminate the interest, but to help the individual build flexibility around it, expanding their world rather than simply constraining a favorite part of it. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh incorporates special interests into individualized treatment planning. Contact us to discuss your child's profile. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Anxiety, Phobia, and Fears - Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/anxiety-phobia-and-fears-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:06.000Z Anxiety, Phobia, and Fears in today's re-released Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Discrete Trial Therapy - Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/discrete-trial-therapy-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:08.000Z Discrete Trial Therapy- a re-released Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Ten Tips for Managing Meltdowns - Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ten-tips-for-managing-meltdowns-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:53.000Z Ten Tips for Managing Meltdowns in today's re-released Morning Minute. Feel free to request a topic of your choice by emailing me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. ### Autism & Applied Behavior Analysis — Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-applied-behavior-analysis-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-02T18:55:56.000Z In this Dr. C's Morning Minute episode, Dr. John Carosso provides an introduction to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), the most extensively researched and widely used intervention for autism. ABA is a science-based approach to understanding behavior: what triggers it, what maintains it, and how targeted teaching and reinforcement can shape new skills and reduce challenging behaviors. Despite its reputation in some circles, modern ABA has moved well beyond the rigid, table-based methods of earlier decades, today's ABA is naturalistic, relationship-attentive, and individualized. For a full explanation of what ABA therapy looks like at Autism Centers of Pittsburgh and how it might benefit your child, visit our dedicated What Is ABA Therapy page. [Learn About ABA Therapy at ACP →](https://acpitt.com/parents/what-is-aba-therapy?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Autism & Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-02T18:55:58.000Z The relationship between autism and OCD is clinically complex, as the two conditions can co-occur, and their overlapping features make accurate diagnosis challenging. Repetitive behaviors, rigid routines, and resistance to change appear in both, but serve different psychological functions. In autism, these behaviors are typically self-regulating and ego-syntonic; in OCD, compulsions are driven by anxiety and experienced as intrusive and unwanted. When both conditions are present simultaneously, treatment must address each with appropriate strategies, CBT-based OCD protocols and ABA-based autism interventions have different targets and require integration by experienced clinicians. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh has the clinical depth to navigate complex, co-occurring presentations. Contact us to learn more about our evaluation and treatment approach. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### The Autism Spectrum — Dr. C's Morning Minute URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-autism-spectrum-dr-cs-morning-minute/ Last updated: 2026-07-02T18:55:59.000Z The autism spectrum is exactly what the name implies: a wide range of presentations, severities, and profiles united by core features in social communication and restricted, repetitive behavior. The common misconception that autism is a linear spectrum, from mild to severe, misses the dimensional nature of the condition. An individual may have significant challenges in one area and relative strengths in another; no two autistic people are identical in their profile. Dr. Carosso's Morning Minute series explored this complexity in an accessible format for parents. For a comprehensive look at the autism spectrum and how Autism Centers of Pittsburgh approaches evaluation across that range, visit our Autism FAQ. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### High Functioning Autism Promoting Social Abilities — Dr. C's Morning Minute 109 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/high-functioning-autism-promoting-social-abilities-dr-cs-morning-minute-109/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:39.000Z Children with high-functioning autism, those with average to above-average cognitive abilities and strong verbal skills, often want social connection but lack the implicit social knowledge that neurotypical peers acquire naturally. Promoting social abilities in this population requires explicit teaching of skills that most children absorb through observation: conversational turn-taking, reading facial expressions, managing personal space, and understanding the unwritten rules of peer interaction. Structured social skills programs, peer mentoring, and naturalistic practice in real social settings all play important roles. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh offers social skills programming designed for the specific needs of children with high-functioning autism. Contact ACP to discuss how we can support your child's social development. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### The Placebo Effect, Hope, and the Power of Words URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-placebo-effect-hope-and-the-power-of-words/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:19.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **What is the placebo effect?** A placebo is something that has no active therapeutic properties and is given to a patient to make them think they are getting the actual medication. The placebo effect is that some patients, interestingly, actually get better when given the placebo. Medications are compared to placebo because, if not better than placebo, then what’s the point. **What’s hope got to do with it?** If a person is given a placebo and gets better, then it could be argued that the power of hope is coming into play. The person is hoping the medication will work, and maybe even feels confident it will; consequently, they get better. I suppose you could say it’s ‘mind over matter’. The power of words instills hope, especially from somebody we trust, and powerful things can happen. There was a recent study showing that patients did better after discharge if the discharge summary had more positive words in it. What’s more, research has shown that the more confidence the patient has in their doctor, and the more the doctor emphasizes the placebo will work, the better the outcome. **Okay, so what?** So we all agree this is interesting, but what’s this got to do with helping your kids? We must keep in mind that the words we use have great power, can make a big difference in your relationship with your children, and how our kids behave. **Speak of what you want, not only of what you see** Your words shape your child’s behavior, for better or worse. So, be careful when calling your child “bad” or, less aversely, saying your child’s “behavior is bad”. Instead, consider stating the admonishment in a manner that positively highlights your child’s strengths while expressing clear expectations… “Mary, you often do really well getting along with your sister, and I appreciate how much you can be patient with her, so I know you can get along better than you are now, show me what you’re capable of…” Compare that statement to… “Mary, you’re always so bad and rude, you drive me crazy, you can never get along with your sister…” If you want to instill a self-fulfilling prophecy, which is the better way to go? Moreover, the latter statements leave everyone feeling down and miserable. Similarly, you can enthusiastically talk to your child about how you’re looking forward to seeing him follow directions, clean-up, and get-along. Words have power, as do positive expectations, especially from somebody we really care about. **Some wonderful resources** Two excellent resources that provide examples of speaking to children in this firm yet positive way includes *How to Talk so Kids will Listen*, and *Listen so Kids will Talk*. The other is *Siblings without Rivalry* that focuses on how to curb your kid’s fighting with one another and there are clever phrases to use with your kids that you’ll find very useful. **Making medication work** The same thing holds true in terms of making medication more effective. Explaining to a child how their medication is going to help and doing so with conviction and enthusiasm can go a long way to help increase the effectiveness of the medication. **Now go and instill some hope** Every time you speak to your child, be reminded to speak in a manor that instills hope, high expectations, clear expectations, and that you know they can rise to the occasion. You’ll feel better, and so will your kids. God bless. ### Chores Part II: Ages, Appropriateness, and Allowance URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/chores-part-ii-ages-appropriateness-allowance/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:12:50.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Types of chores** I’m often asked what types of chores are most appropriate for my child based on age, and whether to pay for the child completing chores? **Ages for chores?** Of course the type of chore depends on your child’s developmental level, but children as young as two can start helping to clean-up their toys, and 4-5 year-olds can clean their room (with direction and oversight), and help clean-up around the house. Between ages 7-10 many kids are more than capable of emptying the garbage, putting away the dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and wiping-up the floor. Teens can start doing laundry, cooking… **Allowance for chores?** That can be left up to you, but you may want to consider that children do not get paid for chores that are part of ‘all of us live here together and need to pitch-in’. However, it may seem reasonable to pay for chores that go above and beyond such as washing and waxing the family car, doing windows, cutting the grass, shoveling snow, cutting the hedges… Some of you may not consider these chores to be ‘above and beyond’, which is fine, and others provide an allowance for daily chores such as emptying the garbage - whatever works for you. **Just do it!!** It’s not so much what chores or whether you pay, it’s that you ‘do it’ in terms of enforcing your kids doing chores, becoming more responsible, not relying on you, pitching in, and having a sense of accomplishment. Think of being on your hammock with your lemonade while your kids take care of the housework 😉 **Your feedback** As always, I’d love your feedback regarding what works for you to get your kids to do chores, if you pay, and how that’s working for you? You can email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. Thank you and God bless. **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video Getting Your Kids To Do Their Chores Part 1 for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/Ks7M7MRai-Y?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### How To Get Your Kids To Do Their Chores URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/get-kids-chores/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:11.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Are you feeling like the unpaid help?** Do you find yourself relentlessly cleaning-up, picking-up, putting-away, cooking, transporting, washing, re-washing, doting and doing just about everything else while your kids seemingly are on vacation, watching TV, playing video games, playing with their friends, and not even remotely lifting a hand to help you as they watch you work to the bone? To make matters worse, you never get a thank-you, and perceive that your kids feel entitled that this is the way it should be, with no guilt or remorse. If so, well, if it’s any consolation, you’re not alone. **You know it needs to change…** Okay, you know that this scenario is frustrating for you, makes you feel unappreciated, and it’s not healthy for your kids. You know that, at some point, it needs to somehow be communicated that ‘we’re all in this together’, that everyone needs to ‘pitch-in’, and they need to learn how to care for themselves. **What’s it take to change?** Take heart that this situation is not necessarily difficult to change. You’ll need to be diligent, firm, and consistent. Well, okay, maybe this will be kinda difficult. No matter, have faith in yourself to rise to the occasion. **One step at a time** The first step is to communicate what is expected in a clear, concise manner. Put it in writing for each child and a time when the chore needs to be completed each day. **A few options** If you decide to use a chore chart, then you may want to write down the specific chores, what each chore entails, and the time of day by which the chore needs to be completed. You’ll convey that the chore’s completion will be monitored by you and a sticker, star, or point or whatever will be allocated on the chart accordingly. You will not discuss the matter; either the chore is done, or it’s not. The number of stickers, stars, or points earned each day will determine privilege level the following day; this way, each day starts anew. **Another way** If the aforementioned sounds too ambitious, then there is a simpler method. Lay-out the chores as described above, but use the ‘when/then’ prompt…. “when the chore is done, then you can do….” This way, unfavored comes before favored activities. The same can be said anytime your child asks you for something (a thousand times per day); you’ll honor the request after the chore is done. **Stick to it** The biggest problem is that parents find it’s easier just to do it themselves than fuss about the chores. I can sympathize with that sentiment, but it’s just causing more frustration and angst, and putting-off the inevitable. So, you might as well just stay firm and get it over with. Once your kids know you’re serious, and get into a routine, it will become much easier and you’ll feel more supported, more loved, and the entire household will be more harmonious. Sound good? **Next time** In my next post, I’ll be focusing on what types of chores are most appropriate, at what ages, and whether to pay for chore completion. **Please email your feedback** Let me know what you think about this plan, what you’ve tried, what works for you, and if you try this plan, how it works for you. Your feedback is super helpful at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. Thanks again, and God bless. **Dr. C's Morning Minute** View Dr. C's Morning Minute Video Getting Your Kids To Do Their Chores Part 1 for more information about this topic by [clicking here](https://youtu.be/VEDE-LHogMA?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com). See more of Dr. C's Morning Minute on our [Video Blog Page](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/video-blog/) ### Preparing Your Kids For 'Back to School' URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-for-back-to-school/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:30.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Yes, it’s that time** It’s that ‘back to school’ time. Yes, it’s sad to see the summer coming to a close and definitely time to get back to the school routine. **Summer vs. School Routine** Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture-shock for your child, and not too pleasant for you either. **What to do (tips for parents of children with autism, and typical kiddos):** 1. Begin slowly adjusting routines for earlier bedtime. 2. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet-reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. This is especially important if your kiddo has any anxiety issues. 4. Arrange play-dates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom, and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file-folders…). Integrate material-color with picture schedule. 7. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut-off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. 8. Pick-out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). 9. Use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10. Prepare school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. 11. Prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect, and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 12. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 13. Autism-Speaks also has some nice back-to-school bulletins (I especially like the ‘about me’ activity):[http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time](http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) I'd love to hear any suggestions or tips you have about how you prepare your kids for back to school. Feel free to email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. Thanks!! **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer** ### Autism: Dealing with Aggression and Tantrums URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-dealing-with-aggression-and-tantrums/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:40.000Z Aggression and meltdowns in autistic children are among the most challenging behaviors parents face, and among the most frequently misunderstood. Unlike typical tantrums, autism-related meltdowns are often triggered by sensory overload, communication frustration, or disrupted routines rather than willful defiance. Understanding the function of aggressive behavior is the critical first step: is the child seeking to escape a demand, communicate an unmet need, or regulate an overwhelming sensory state? Behavioral intervention that addresses the root cause, rather than simply suppressing the behavior, produces lasting results. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh specializes in functional behavior assessment and individualized behavior support plans for children experiencing aggression and meltdowns. Contact us to discuss your child's behavioral challenges. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Preparing for Summer Fun with the Kids! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-for-summer-fun-with-the-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:40.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Go ahead, you can admit it; it’s kinda scary…** On one hand you’re excited for the start of summer and to have far more access to your kids. If you’re a SAHM, then you’re home all day with the little darlings and the sky is the limit in terms of the potential for fun-in-the-sun!! Even if you work, it’s most likely you’ll be seeing your kids quite a bit more over the next few months. Of course, you’re thrilled; they’re your kids and you want nothing more than to be around them and enjoy their company. However, deep down, you’re also a little scared because you’ll be, well, trapped, all day, with the little stinkers, and they’ll all be together tag-teaming against you, not to mention tag-teaming against each other, and you’ll have to play referee, teacher, cop, and playmate possibly all within any given 5-minute period. **By the way…** Not to get off-topic, but what’s the deal anyway with this three-months- off-thing over the summer? Are we all still farmers and need our kids help to work the family farm? I like a little vegetable garden as much as the next person, but three months seems a bit extreme. But I digress… **Okay, so what’s the game-plan?** Well, that’s just it, ya gotta have a game-plan. I suppose you could just wing-it, and many do, and they seem to do okay. However, especially if you have kids with special needs, the more routine, structured, planned, and predictable you can make the summer, oftentimes the better it will go. Not that every minute will be planned (summer is about spontaneity, freedom, and fun) but for some kiddos going from a highly regimented daily school routine, to a free-for-all, can be rather unsettling. Many parents find a nice balance between the two, some structure for part of the day, and some planned activities and trips, and a more relaxed and free-flowing part of the day (and even this “free-flowing” portion of the day can be planned). **Some things to help the summer go smoother** You go to Hawaii and hire a full-time nanny to watch the kids (just joking, sort of). First, get a Family Calendar with daily and monthly activities and events planned in advance. This gives the kids things to look forward to, lets them know what is planned for any given day or week, and reduces the pestering about ‘what are we doing today…’? You may want to use lots of visuals and pictures to convey information about the activity or event(s). **Lay back a bit on the chores** You may want to be a bit more accommodating and less rigid with chores and expecting a super clean house. Having everyone home, all day, is going to result in more messes and whatnot, and your frustration likely will skyrocket if you’re expecting complete order and a pristine environment. However, by the same token, clearly defining rules (maybe even posting summer-time rules on the wall) that include not getting out other toys or items until the first are put-away, will be helpful. **You may need a break (swap a kid or too)** Since other parents have their kids home too, take advantage of them and give them your kids for an afternoon (or a few days?). Of course, you’ll have to return the favor, but the kids can enjoy playing together (or not) and you get a break every so often. **Get some ideas** Set out a bucket for suggestions, and get a ‘bucket list’ from your kiddos to find out things they want to do over the summer. They likely will have some good ideas for local trips and activities you can do at home or in the local neighborhood. **Send them away for the day?** Many of you have arranged day and/or week-long camps for your kids. Your kiddo usually has a great time, and it also gives you a break. However, keep the family fun going; remember, you only have so many summers with your kids, while they’re still kids, so don’t forget to savor these moments in time (that reminds me; take lots and lots of pictures and you’ll have them for your scrolling home-screen the rest of the year). **Academics?** Your kids are going to hate me for suggesting this, but it’s important to set-aside some time, weekly if not daily, to keep-up on academics. Take advantage of Extended School Year (ESY) if your child is eligible, or simply crack some books at home for 30 minutes to an hour a day. Or, even better, introduce your child to child-friendly short stories and novels where they can get ‘lost’ in their imagination and experience far-away adventures without even leaving the home. Reading together is even better. Experiential trips are also fun, such as to the library or museum, art show, aviary, and don’t forget about VBS. **Before the school year is over…** Get the names and phone numbers of kids with whom your child will want to visit and play over the summer. Otherwise, you may not have a way to contact them, and many opportunities for fun play-dates will be lost. **Prepare for whatever may happen** Role-play with your child what to do if they get lost, or need help in some way. Keep medications and first-aid kits handy. Always have an epi-pen handy as well!! You never know who may be allergic to insect bites and stings. **Be prepared to ‘divide and conquer’** When the kids get to bickering and carrying-on, prepare places for them to go to play separately. Separate rooms or areas of the house, or one plays outside while the other inside; whatever it takes. Prepare activities for them to do separately to keep them busy and to at least temporarily end the fussiness. The more structured and planned the activities and play-areas, the more likely such diversionary tactics will work. **Other ideas…** If your child has challenges with catching a ball, the Velcro-ball and Velcro catching pad is a wonderful option; frankly, even if your kiddo catches just fine it’s still a fun activity, as is a trampoline, bicycle riding (or tricycle ride), taking the dog for a walk, having a picnic in the back yard, family hike, catching lightning bugs (we used to use wiffle bats when I was a kid…), going for a swim, stargazing, zoo, kennywood, board games, making a bird feeder and watching the birds, listening to an audiobook, going fishing, jumping rope, blowing bubbles, playing miniature golf, flying a kite, playing badminton, climbing a tree (not too tall), or watching a good movie. Whatever you do together is meaningful and makes a memory. **Have a wonderful summer** I hope you found this post to be informative and that it inspired some ideas. Here’s wishing you and yours a relaxing, safe, and memory-filled summer of fun. God bless. ### Facebook Question: "What About The Siblings of My Special Needs Child?" URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-about-the-siblings-of-my-special-needs-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:13:51.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Dealing with discipline](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-about-the-siblings-of-my-special-needs-child/#Dealing%5Fwith%5Fdiscipline) - [Siblings copying behavior](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-about-the-siblings-of-my-special-needs-child/#Siblings%5Fcopying%5Fbehavior) - [What if my child feels his special-needs sibling is getting a lot more attention](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-about-the-siblings-of-my-special-needs-child/#What%5Fif%5Fmy%5Fchild%5Ffeels%5Fhis%5Fspecial-needs%5Fsibling%5Fis%5Fgetting%5Fa%5Flot%5Fmore%5Fattention) Written by Dr. John Carosso A parent on Facebook asked a good question regarding the difficulty of her other children, the siblings of her special needs child, not understanding the difference in discipline between them and their brother, and how this causes dissension and frustration. In addition, from other parents, there has been concern expressed about siblings copying maladaptive behavior, and feeling as if they are not getting as much attention. All of these issues will be addressed in today’s post. ### Dealing with discipline There often is a difference in expectations and subsequent discipline between a child with special needs, and their neuro-typical siblings. It’s not uncommon that siblings pick-up pretty quickly on these differences, and lament that they are being treated unfairly (“my brother does things and there is no punishment, but when I do them I get punished!!”). The first step is to provide some degree of empathy and, in reflective comments, express that you appreciate how this might appear confusing and unfair. However, I would suggest that you next express that you’re the parent and you can be trusted to make good decisions to determine the proper level discipline for each child in the family, that each child is different, has different needs requires a different parenting style, and you’ll make those decisions to meet those needs. You can remind your child that those decisions are based on lots of things including age but also on the ability to show self-control, and based on other strengths and weaknesses. You can explain that if one of the members of the family has hard time controlling their actions, they are given a bit more leeway and support until they learn how to show more self-control. You can explain that you have a very good idea to what extent each of your children can control themselves, and you’ll discipline accordingly. Also, you could ask your child if they would trade for their sibling's struggles to get less discipline? ### Siblings copying behavior Usually this entails a younger siblings copying the emotion and any odd behaviors of their older sibling. This too is handled in a pretty straight-forward manner; explaining that any behavior that is inappropriate will be managed with limit-setting and consequences, and pro-social behavior will be handsomely rewarded. Remain consistent with punishments, and lavish in praise. However, it’s important to note that, in some cases, the emotional escalation from a sibling is not copying their special-needs sibling, but simply a demonstration of built-up frustration that the special needs sibling's behavior is disrupting the home environment. In that instance, it’s important to provide the kiddo with an empathetic ear (maybe even a professional counselor), a safe place to play in peace and quiet, and to work diligently to restore the family structure and reduce the extent to which the sibling is overly emotional and disruptive to the family harmony. ### What if my child feels his special-needs sibling is getting a lot more attention? If your child feels this way, it is likely the truth, which is a common reality in many families. The fact is that your special needs kiddo needs more attention than your other children, and you have to provide it. There is no way around that. However, there are a few things to consider including setting aside time weekly, if not daily, even a few minutes, that is you and your child’s “special time” to sit together, do something fun, talk, go for a walk, or do whatever they want to do. It’s also important to make your special-needs child’s trips to the doctor’s office, or other appointments, that your other child attends too, as fun as possible with whatever games, bringing along a friend, and special rewards to being a good brother or sister. Also, it’s important to continue to emphasize that every family has to work together to help each other and that this what a family does. That may fall on deaf ears after a few years, but it’s worth repeating nonetheless. It can also be helpful to incorporate the help of the spouse, relatives, trusted neighbors who can lighten the load and give extra time for you and your other children. Okay, that provides an overview of some things to consider when dealing with these issues; however, we all know that these points just scratch the surface. Please go to my [Facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/dr.johncarosso) and describe what you’ve done in response to these challenges. We can all learn together!! Thank you. ### What Is ADHD, Part III URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:42.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Teach your child not to interrupt your activities](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/#Teach%5Fyour%5Fchild%5Fnot%5Fto%5Finterrupt%5Fyour%5Factivities) - [Home token system](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/#Home%5Ftoken%5Fsystem) - [Punish misbehavior constructively](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/#Punish%5Fmisbehavior%5Fconstructively) - [Time-out](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/#Time-out) - [Public places](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-iii/#Public%5Fplaces) Written by Dr. John Carosso Okay, this is the final segment of this blog series on ADHD. We started out with a discussion of what causes ADHD (disturbance of the prefrontal lobe) and the negative impact on executive functioning. We then moved into specific strategies to enhance executive functioning, and some more general interventions to make day-to-day activities go smoother. Finally, in this third segment, here are more helpful tips and suggestions I trust you'll find to be helpful: #### Teach your child not to interrupt your activities Prior to the event during which you may be interrupted, give clear directive of expectations, give a structured fun task for the child, and praise throughout. Fade praise over time. Special praise at the end of the event. Can be used for a phone conversation, preparing a meal, having a conversation with a friend... #### Home token system Provides opportunity to provide tangible reinforcement that can be cashed-in for privileges. It can then cost tokens to play video-games, watch TV, going to movie… (list the privileges and post). Make a list of chores and tasks and how much each will earn. Be mindful of the cost for privileges (if cost too much, then system loses appeal, but don’t make it too easy). Make a token-bank to store the chips/tokens. One to three chips can be earned for most tasks. Use a point system for older kids. #### Punish misbehavior constructively Do not use criticism or excessive punishment. Do not pester or become overly emotional. Children with ADHD have lack of understanding of time and they live in the ‘now’, not in the future. Consequently, they don’t appreciate how their behavior can impact the future of any relationship. Using the token system, you can ‘fine’ child by taking away tokens. However, don’t begin taking-away tokens until after using the token system for a few weeks. Do not fine too harshly, or system will lose effectiveness. Use 3/1 rule; fine once for every 3 allocations of tokens. #### Time-out Remove to quiet area. Pick one or two behaviors. Do not give attention when in T.O. Give command, count to 3, if directive not completed, give one warning for time-out, count again then to T.O. if still not complying. Use gentle physical prompting. When quiet (one minute per age) can be released if agree to carry-out what was initially refused. Praise upon completion of task. Token is only given if task is done upon initial request. Fine child if child leaves time-out. Time-out to room can be used. #### Public places Keep your child busy and occupied with fun activities. Use these same methods in stores, other’s homes, and other public places. Establish a plan. Use positive attention, praise, clear expectations, clear instruction, use of tokens and other incentives, regular specific praise throughout the outing, use of time-out as needed. Punishment can be in public, or upon returning home. Find potential time-out area in the public place. Give tokens periodically throughout the trip with lavish praise. Okay, there ya go. Hope you found this series to be helpful. Now, it's your turn!! It would be appreciated if you would share what works for you, so I can confidentially share your ideas with those who may be having a rough time. I won't take credit for the idea, but I won't reveal your name unless you give permission. Thank you!! ### What is ADHD, Part II URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-ii/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:50.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Whered we leave off](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-ii/#Whered%5Fwe%5Fleave%5Foff) - [Whats next](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd-part-ii/#Whats%5Fnext) Written by Dr. John Carosso #### **Where’d we leave off?** We left off with the discussion of ADHD being a disorder within the pre-frontal cortex that manifests in deficiencies in what’s called ‘executive functioning’. The more a parent can externalize these executive functions, and help the child carry-out the pre-frontal cortex duties in the child’s natural environment, the more success will be experienced. In the last post, each executive function was described, and specific skills to target any shortcomings. #### **What’s next?** Listed below are even more interventions you’ll find to be helpful when managing your child with ADHD. A number of these interventions help to ‘externalize’ the executive functions and helps the child to be increasingly independent; others help to improve your relationship given that the ‘constant’ reprimand and redirection can wear thin after a while. **Some helpful strategies:** - It’s important to enhance and bolster your relationship with your child, which can take a blow with all the reprimand and redirection inherent with having a child with ADHD. Given that reality, it’s important to put aside ‘special time’ with your child during which you’ll involve in free-play and, during such, ask no questions, give no directives, and in no way try to control the play. Instead, narrate the play with enthusiasm to reflect your attention and interest. Any given ‘session’ can be 10-30 minutes. In addition, gross motor pursuits such as chase, catch, and tag can be lots of fun. - Make sure you show approval immediately for any behavior of which you want to see more. - Be specific in telling your child what you like about their behavior. - Never give a back-handed compliment (“I like the way you clean-up your toys, I sure wish you’d do that every day…” - Barkley (Taking Charge of ADHD) offers a wonderful contemplation for a parent: “are you the best or worst supervisor that you’ve ever had, with your child?” In that respect, think about past bosses and supervisors you’ve had, and how much do you behave, with your child, the way you were treated? - Provide immediate feedback about compliance, and praise your child. Be specific. Give repeated praise while they’re completing the task. - Reward big-time if task is done spontaneously and without prompting!! - Another great way to externalize a few executive functions at once: make up chore cards for each job. List the chore on the card, the steps to complete the task, and amount of time needed for the chore, then start the timer (“see if you can beat the clock…”). Can give a warning that chore is forthcoming, then give the chore-card a few minutes later. Okay, that was eight strategies to help in your daily pursuit of helping your child be the best he or she can be. I’ll have a bunch more in the next post. Stay tuned and, in the meantime, please share with me (jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) the strategies you’ve found to be most helpful, so I can share them with others too. God bless. ### What is ADHD? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:18:52.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Is ADHD just a bunch of symptoms](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#Is%5FADHD%5Fjust%5Fa%5Fbunch%5Fof%5Fsymptoms) - [Lets dig deeper](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#Lets%5Fdig%5Fdeeper) - [So whats the actual cause of ADHD](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#So%5Fwhats%5Fthe%5Factual%5Fcause%5Fof%5FADHD) - [What if a childs executive functions are not working so well](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#What%5Fif%5Fa%5Fchilds%5Fexecutive%5Ffunctions%5Fare%5Fnot%5Fworking%5Fso%5Fwell) - [How do we do that](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#How%5Fdo%5Fwe%5Fdo%5Fthat) - [Helpful](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-is-adhd/#Helpful) Written by Dr. John Carosso #### Is ADHD just a bunch of symptoms? We tend to describe and explain ADHD by its outward appearance and core symptoms: impulsivity, hyperactivity, and distractibility. However, that does not explain ‘what is ADHD’ or what causes the disorder. #### Let’s dig deeper If we look beyond and beneath the signs and symptoms, and consider the cause of ADHD, we can get a much better grasp on effective strategies. #### So what’s the actual cause of ADHD? ADHD is a condition where the pre-frontal cortex, which is the area of the brain that is the most advanced and responsible for the highest-order and executive of functioning, is not quite doing its job. The pre-frontal cortex can be said to have a number of ‘executive functions’ that help us to carry-out our daily routines with increased effectiveness and efficiency. These ‘executive functions’ include: - **Shifting, and Flexible Thinking**: Move freely from one situation to another both in thought and behavior. - **Inhibition and Impulse Control**: Stop ones behavior at the appropriate time, and think before acting. - **Emotional Control**: Modulate emotional responses by bringing rational thought to bear on feelings. - **Task Initiation**: Ability to begin a task and to independently generate ideas, responses, or problem-solving strategies. - **Working Memory**: Capacity to hold information in mind for the purposes of completing a task. - **Planning/Organization/Prioritizing**: Ability to manage current and future-oriented task demands, and order in terms of importance. - **Organization of Materials**: Impose order on work, play, and storage. - **Self-Monitoring**: Ability to monitor one’s own performance and to measure it against some standard of what is needed or expected. - **Monitoring Time**: The ability to self-regulate based on time-constraints and have a sense of urgency. The capacity to plan for a task or goal, no matter short or long-term. The ability to accurately judge the passage of time. #### What if a child’s executive functions are not working so well? If some of the child’s executive functions don’t work so well, we then need to externalize the function(s), or make the function occur, for the child, in the natural environment. #### How do we do that? Well, that takes quite a bit of creativity, and any given strategy will be tailored and individualized for the child. However, in general, here are some general strategies and principles to consider: **Immediate feedback and consequences** Children with ADHD tend to be under control of the moment (they have trouble looking into the future, or focusing on the end-goal), so become part of the moment by your presence, praise, and encouragement. When involved in a boring or challenging task, these kids feel an urge to do something else, so make the task more rewarding. Quick rewards and feedback are vital. Praise, affection, rewards, tokens… Make it immediate. Look for the ‘good’ behavior and praise it. Give immediate consequences as well. **More frequent feedback** Kids with ADHD need more immediate and frequent feedback; best to give often especially in the beginning. Give feedback (praise, tokens…) periodically during the task, not just at the end. Use visuals to remind yourself to check on your child to give feedback. **Use larger and more powerful consequences** Use more powerful consequences than with other kids, because they must overcome more to reach the goal or complete the task; they simply need more motivators. **Use incentives before punishment** Praise before you punish, or you’ll be punishing far too often. Too much punishment only interferes with your relationship with your child. “Positives before negatives” and Praise what you want to see. Find replacement behaviors to the negative behavior, and praise when you see the replacement behavior. Punish consistently but selectively; only punish the one targeted misbehavior. **Externalize time and bridge time where necessary** Children with ADHD have a disturbed sense of time; consequently, they struggle with time-lines. They subsequently live in the ‘now’ and are better when they have external reminders about time. Use a timer, or a visual timer, (large time-timer), watch with alarm, or a recorder with your voice… Longer time intervals: bridge time, i.e. break into small daily steps. See A.D.D Warehouse for helpful items and materials. **Externalize the important information at the time of the task** Working memory is impaired, so place helpful information out in the open, where the work is being done. Use a list of rules and reminders (read directions, double-check work, pay attention…). Take aside your child before their friend arrives and remind/practice to: share toys, take turns, ask friend about her interests… **Externalize the source of motivation during the task** There can also be trouble with motivation. Consequently, increase the motivation and make it obvious by giving incentive or reward. Create a win-win situation; offer to get reward when work is done, or when segments of work is done. **Make thinking and problem-solving more manual or physical** Keeping information organized in their thoughts is tough, so it’s best if the kiddo can see or feel the problem or solutions. For example, type all the points on the computer screen to capture every idea. Child can then expand using the prompts. Use index cards, tangibles, symbols, and other types of cues to remember the specific points. Make the problem tangible so child can see or touch it, such as seeing the plans for a house, or how the furniture will be arranged in a room. **Be consistent** Must use same strategies every time. Be consistent and persistent. Respond in same fashion even when setting changes. Both parents respond same way. Use for at least two weeks before deciding something does not work. **Do not rely on your words, or your emotion** Don’t pester, rely on your actions and consequences. The issue is not a lack of information. **Plan ahead for Problem situations** If you can predict the problem, plan for how to manage the problem. Clear expectations, share the plan with your child, and follow-through. Five-step plan: stop before entering site or encountering the problem; review with child 2-3 rules (brief), ask to repeat; set-up reward or incentive; explain punishment; follow the plan. #### **Helpful?** Hope you found this information to be helpful. Consultation with a therapist can be advantageous to work on improving the child’s coping strategies, and helping parents to refine their behavioral plan. Feel free to call the office at 412-372-8000 or 724-850-7200 to arrange such a consult. Also, feel free to email me with your thoughts and questions at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. I’ve also found the book, Taking Charge of ADHD, by Barkley, to be helpful in terms of its comprehensive and practical approach, and some of the aforementioned strategies are highlighted and detailed in that resource. See you next time when I’ll provide some more strategies to help with ADHD. God bless. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:17.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso *Wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas and Holiday Season. I hope you find this annual 'Wonderful Counselor' post to be comforting and that it helps to refocus what this Holiday is really all about.* **What I’m expected to do…** As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). **Is there more?** Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? **Seems only fitting** During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our **Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful** to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? **Tap into the Source** Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the **Source** (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: jcarosso@cpcwecare.com ### How To Talk To Your Kids About Terrorism (‘The Incredibles’ Approach) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-terrorism-the-incredibles-approach/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:14:16.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Did you see that movie?** *The Incredibles* is a great flick; probably one of the best animated movies. This family starts out as this dysfunctional unit who can’t communicate, are at-odds with one another, feeling no confidence or competence, but end-up coming together as a fighting force ready to take on the world and then some. What do the *Incredibles* have to do with your family, or talking to your kids about terrorism, you ask? Well, more than you might think. There are two sides to this talk, and the *Incredibles* can teach us a lot about the one side. ***Probability*: The other side of the coin** Okay, so one side is being like the *Incredibles* (we’ll talk about that later), the other side is “probability”. In that respect, when talking to kids about terrorism, or the many dangers inherent in our world (robbers, hurricanes, tornados…), we tend to start with a few basic facts: - Yes, the world is a dangerous place - Yes, there are very bad and evil people in the world who want to do us harm - Yes, there are any number of natural disasters that could come our way - Yes, we need to be prepared, and protect ourselves **However, we offer realistic assurances:** - The chance (or probability) is very small that any specific bad event will happen to any of us. Is it possible, yes, but is it likely, no. - As a family, we are prepared and you can rest assured that you are well-protected by your parent(s). You can then describe the many things you’ve put in place to help keep your family safe including an alarm, you live in a safe neighborhood, have never had an incident before, never had a terrorist attack and likely never will, you have *Cujo* for a family pet, supportive neighbors, a good and responsive police force…. In this way, we soothe ourselves, and our kids, regarding any potential angst; by reminding ourselves, and our kids that terrorism or bad things can happen anywhere and anytime, but likely will not. Otherwise, we’d cower all day under our beds. **So, tell me more about what the *Incredibles* have to do with this talk?** The movie ends with the family being completely in-tune with each other, working together in a coordinated fashion, each having and being able to use specific talents and skills, and feeling super confident to face just about anything that may come their way both individually and together. Okay, I know, they’re fictional characters but, nonetheless, their attitude and preparedness may be worth emulating. **How to be confident like the *Incredibles*?** First, you get busy getting prepared like they did. You make sure you are able to rattle off that list to your kids of why they can feel ‘safer’ in a dangerous world. The longer that list, the better for you and your family. As far as the *Incredibles*\-mentality, preparedness would also include a self-defense/safety class and learning how to protect yourself, teaching situational awareness, practicing a safety plan, and having a stock of survival supplies. I don’t want to come across as an alarmist, and you would not convey that sentiment to your children, but you would convey, to your kids, that you’re all prepared for whatever may come your way so no need to fret. In fact, you could even toss-in some bravado (kids love bravado) such as ‘bring it on’ and that any robber or terrorist is picking the wrong family if they pick yours, Hoorah! **Your ‘tone’ matters a lot** Keep in mind that kids mirror the tone of their parents. If Mom and Dad are showing themselves to be calm, secure, confident, and in-control of the situation, then kids will stay far calmer and secure as well. . **He's got the whole world in His hands...** It’s also super reassuring to emphasize to your kids that, no matter how chaotic the world may appear, God has everything under control, that He looks after his children, and comforts and holds our hand through every adversity. You know the verse, *If God is for us, who can be against us...,* Romans, 8:31. **The Incredibles and Beyond** I hear they’re coming-out with an *Incredibles II*, which should be fun to watch. You can bet that this dynamo family will again meet-up with some super-power nemesis, will falter at times, and will appear all but defeated but, in the end, they’ll work together to out-muscle and out-smart the would-be ‘terrorist’. You can also bet that ‘Dash’ and ‘Violet’ (oh, c’mon, you remember the two *Incredibles’* kids) will be far more confident in this second go-around and won’t be fretting like they did in the first movie. Do you want the same for your kids? Yea, me too. So, lets get busy, Hoorah. **Your ideas?** I'd love to hear about your approaches and experiences when talking with your children about weighty topics such as terrorism. Feel free to email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. **P.S.**: Check-out my earlier post "Treating Anxiety and Obsessions" by [clicking here](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-anxiety-and-obsessions-nothing-to-fear-but-fear-itself/) that provides even more details about alleviating childhood anxiety and fears. **P.P.S.**: For those unfamiliar with the term, "Hoorah" is a military term used to emphasize exuberant acknowledgement, agreement, and being onboard with the mission. ### Why Taking Away Privileges, and Time-Out, Don’t Work!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/why-taking-away-privileges-and-time-out-dont-work/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:19:17.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Taking away video-games (or TV, or a toy…) doesn’t work? Say it ain’t so!!** Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the tried-and-true discipline method of taking away video-games, a favorite toy, or whatever else is largely ineffective and, in fact, counter-productive. How can that be, you ask, when taking away a favorite activity is probably the most commonly-used behavior management strategy parents have in their arsenal? Well, here’s the truth the matter. **Taking away privileges often makes the situation worse!!** Here is the scenario, a child does not do their chores or back-talks; parent yells and then takes away the video games “for a week!!!” Child yells back, negotiates, and parent may or may not follow-through. If the parent follows through, child pesters incessantly to get the video-games back, which causes more frustration for parent. If parent removes the games at all, it’s definitely not for an entire week. The next time the child misbehaves (an hour later or the next day…) the parent does not have video-games to use as a punishment (they’re already taken away). So, in that scenario, the threat of taking away video games (or whatever else) results in worse behavior due to the child’s emotion stirred-up at losing the favored item, the child’s subsequent pestering to get the coveted item returned, and the parent not having the games to use later as a punishment. Does that sound effective? **What about other punishments (such as time-out)?** If taking away privileges is ‘number one’ of all punishments, then time-out is a very close second. However, how does time-out work for your child? You put your child on the steps or in a corner; it takes 15 minutes of yelling, cajoling, and emotion to get them in time-out in the first place, they fuss once there (yell-out “when is it going to be over”, get teased by their siblings, seek attention from you…), they won’t stay there, and finally maybe they “complete” time-out after maybe a few minutes of being quiet, if you’re lucky. **Is this a common problem?** I’ve heard 10,000 times (maybe more) “I’ve tried that, it doesn’t work” when suggesting these discipline strategies to parents. I don’t blame them; they’re right; these strategies, as they are typically implemented, don’t work. This is why counseling with a professional who can offer solid suggestions is so important given that implementing punishments, the right way, is not easy. **Let’s start first with the most effective ‘punishment’** I’ll start with best ‘punishment’ that a parent has in his or her arsenal. Just to clarify, I think rewards, kudos, and the softer-and-closer approach are far more effective than any punishment, but at some point a parent has to set limits, and nothing beats ‘time-out’ if used properly. **How to make time-out work** The key to time-out is that it’s used without any pestering (just say “1”, “2”, “3 – go to your room”) and absolutely no emotion. There is no arguing, fussing, or carrying-on no matter the child’s reaction; rely on the consequence (time-out), not on your words or your emotion. **Step-by-step** \-The child is directed to time-out (and is walked there, if necessary, in a calm manner) \-Time-out is in their room, not in a corner or on the steps. This way, the child is out of sight and can’t seek attention or disrupt the family. He does not return to the family until calm and ready to comply, and you decide when that occurs. \-The child is informed, ahead of time, that the door will remain open if they remain calm. If they yell, the door will be closed. If the child will not stay in their room, well, there are some good options for that too; just email me (drcarosso@aol.com) for specifics and I’ll walk you through what to do. In the meantime, one option if the child refuses to go to his room is to offer a choice: “one quick, 10-minute time-out, or no going-out to play the rest of the day...” Another option is a reverse time-out (you leave). There’s one other even better-option, but you’ll have to email me to get it. **Why time-out in a child’s room is most effective** The nice thing about time-out in the room is that it immediately ends the emotion, gives a chance for everyone to calm away from each other, and when it’s over, it’s over and you move on!!! The child can do whatever he or she wants in the room except electronics. You can take away toys and books to make it more aversive if necessary. **Okay, so now I understand how to use time-out, what about loss of privilege?** Loss of privilege can be effective, but there are specific ways to make it work. First, differentiate from immediate loss of privilege that is used until a task is accomplished (the “premack principle”, or “when/then”). In this manner, ‘when’ your child has cleaned his room or done his homework, he can ‘then’ go out to play. The ‘not being able to go out to play’ is the loss of privilege, and is withheld until the unfavored task (chore) is done. The other form of loss of privilege can be used over a 24 hour period. This way, each day specific tasks need to be accomplished (homework, chores, respectful toward parent…); if the task(s) are accomplished by a specific time each day (say, 7:00PM), then the next day the child earns the privilege (video games, going out to play…); if not, then the next day the privilege is not earned. Each day is a new day and dependent on what happened the day before. In this scenario, it’s vital to make sure the tasks are achievable and realistic based on ability level and your child’s history; otherwise, you’re dooming your child to failure. **There ya go** I’ve provided a basic overview of why loss of privilege and time-out often are woefully ineffective, and how to improve your chances of positive outcomes. This post was a bit longer than usual but there is still so much more to consider so feel free to ask any questions at [DrCarosso@aol.com](mailto:DrCarosso@aol.com). Now, go use time-out and loss of privilege with confidence and success!! ### Should Trophies be "Earned" or Given? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/should-trophies-be-earned-or-given/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:17:30.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **The Controversy** Recently it was reported that James Harrison (Pittsburgh Steeler) took his kid's trophies because they were not 'earned'. This sparked an interesting debate. **Point, counter-point, and nuances** As would be expected, as with most issues, there is not necessarily a straight-forward 'right or wrong' answer given that certain nuances and conditions may exist with any given child, competition, and the type of recognition or "award." **Check out the article** To see more about this issue, check-out the recent edition of the ***Pittsburgh Tribune Review*** where I share my views on the matter with writer Kellie Gormly in the Living section. The article provides a broader perspective and what I hope you'll find to be some worthwhile points. **Here's the link:** [http://triblive.com/lifestyles/morelifestyles/8930663-74/trophies-harrison-says#axzz3jGRnGS8F](http://triblive.com/lifestyles/morelifestyles/8930663-74/trophies-harrison-says?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com#axzz3jGRnGS8F) **What do you think?** Let's see what you have to say on the matter; share your thoughts on my facebook page: **Have a great day!!** ### Let's Talk About Dyslexia URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lets-talk-about-dyslexia/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:16.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **'Dyslexia' does not have to mean 'disability'** If your child has a reading disorder, better known as dyslexia, it's vital you understand the underpinnings of the problem and where to turn for help. In that respect, you and your child need to know that the problem does not reside with him or her, but with our educational system that does not seem to recognize that these kiddos with dyslexia do not have a "disability" and need not be segregated and placed into 'special education.' Instead, what they need is for our educational system to come out of the dark ages and recognize that students should not be pigeon-holed and all instructed in the same fashion. In that respect, some kids read better using their eyes, some do better listening with their ears, some do better reading with their finger, what difference does it make as long as the information is learned? **The Answer: Let's not be rigid with the 'eye-reading only' mentality** The fact is that most kids with moderate to severe dyslexia will never read (with their eyes) on grade-level, that's just the way it is. However, many of the kids in the lowest reading group, who subsequently feel miserable about themselves, have a better vocabulary and conversational skills, are brighter, more creative, more inquisitive, and are better problem-solvers than the bulk of the students in the highest reading group. How about we do away with these antiquated grouping of kids and teach children in ways that meet their needs and adapt to their individualized styles of learning. It should be common practice that, in every classroom, a portion of kids learn via traditional teaching, but others use technology such as the intel reader, kindel, and voice recognition software to complete assignments. This way, no one is made to feel 'stupid' or inferior; and everyone is learning, achieving, and earning good grades but they're doing it in ways unique to their learning styles. Wouldn't that be something!! **Eye-Reading vs Ear-Reading vs Finger Reading** Think of it this way; here's a scenario: a fourth grade girl who is blind "reads" with her finger (braille) at a 6th grade level. Does the fact that she is using her finger to read make her reading ability any less valid? In the same respect, is a child with dyslexia, using his ears to read, any less of a reader? We need to re-think what it means to read, learn, and achieve. By the way, a wonderful resources is the book: The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan, by Glen Foss. He also created the Intel Reader, which turns any written text into an audible format. Check it out. **Learning to Eye-Read** This is not to say that you should abandon attempts to help your child learn to eye-read. Of course there will need to be ongoing teaching using the Orton-Gillingham method. However, at the same time, ear-reading is also used and your child should be taught to master the technology that ultimately will be used throughout his or her academic career. **Hope you found this to be helpful. I'd love to read your comments; post them on my facebook page at:** **God Bless** ### It's Time To Start Thinking About 'Back-To-School' URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/its-time-to-start-thinking-about-back-to-school/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:15:05.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso I'm sorry, but it's that time again, and your kids will be back in the classroom before you know it.**Summer vs. School Routine** Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? If you start about 2-3 weeks out (or even a month out), it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture-shock for your child, and not too pleasant for you either.**What to do (tips for parents of children with autism, and typical kiddos):** 1\. Begin slowly adjusting routines for earlier bedtime.2\. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet-reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic.3\. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. This is especially important if your child will be going to a different school4\. Arrange play-dates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade.5\. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom, and meet the teacher, so much the better.6\. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file-folders…). Integrate material-color with picture schedule.7\. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut-off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance.8\. Pick-out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important).9\. Use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day.10\. Prepare school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues.11\. Prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect, and how to effectively intervene if necessary.12\. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring.13\. Autism-Speaks also has some nice back-to-school bulletins (I especially like the ‘about me’ activity):[http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-itstransition-time](http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-itstransition-time?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer** ### Preparing Your Kids (And You) For Summer Fun URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/ Last updated: 2026-07-06T22:16:37.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - - - [Just around the corner](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Just%5Faround%5Fthe%5Fcorner) - [For the OCD among us](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#For%5Fthe%5FOCD%5Famong%5Fus) - [Creative](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Creative) - [Not all of it has to be %E2%80%9Cfun%E2%80%9D](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Not%5Fall%5Fof%5Fit%5Fhas%5Fto%5Fbe%5F%E2%80%9Cfun%E2%80%9D) - [Childcare Babysitting Camps](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Childcare%5FBabysitting%5FCamps) - [Daily Routine](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Daily%5FRoutine) - [As the Summer Winds-Down](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#As%5Fthe%5FSummer%5FWinds-Down) - [Okay that about wraps it up for now Have a wonderful summer](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/preparing-your-kids-and-you-for-summer-fun/#Okay%5Fthat%5Fabout%5Fwraps%5Fit%5Fup%5Ffor%5Fnow%5FHave%5Fa%5Fwonderful%5Fsummer) Written by Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D. ##### Just around the corner I know it’s only April, but you and I both know that summer recess will be here before ya know it, so best to start planning and preparing now. There is lots to think about, and would hate to have you awaken that fateful day in early June with the incessant “I’m bored”, or loud screaming that typically accompanies siblings being home together all day. Oh, the joys of summer. --- ##### For the OCD among us I know it may sound a bit OCD-ish, but a very effective way to plan for the summer, and to get every drop of fun you can, is to get a calendar and plan the entire summer week-by-week, if not day-by-day. You may have some day and week-long camps that you can easily plug-in; the annual summer vacation to the beach or Disney, your kid’s sporting events, the trip to Aunt Rhoda’s… Once you have those regular events scheduled, you can start getting creative. Oh, by the way, if your child has special needs, contact the Park (Disney…) ahead of time to request a pass to avoid long wait-times. --- ##### Creative? Yea, creative. I’ll bet your family has a bucket-list of fun and ‘different’ things you all would like to do, but haven’t. Often, we don’t do fun things because we don’t plan for them. So, plan for them and get that small flower garden planted, bake some cookies, go camping in the backyard, go on that day-trip to Gettysburg, project a movie on your garage door and have a homemade drive-in, do some star-gazing, start an annual neighborhood kickball tournament and, of course, can’t forget about getting a net (not a wiffle bat) and catching lightening bugs. --- ##### Not all of it has to be “fun” You may include some things in the summer agenda that aren’t necessarily fun, but are definitely worthwhile. Summer is an excellent time to get your kids boned-up on things such as math, writing skills, or reading. In fact, if your child has special education services, talk to the Principal now about whether your child qualifies for Extended School Year (ESY). Also, teach the kiddos how to do various chores around the house (how to wash the family car…) or do a family project such as cleaning out that garage. In fact, sometimes those ‘chores’, if done as a family, can be quite a bonding experience especially when the final outcome (a really clean and organized garage) is achieved by everyone’s hard work. If your child is on the spectrum, the summer can be a time you may be a bit more indulgent in your child’s obsessive interests (sharks, star wars…) but only after nonpreferred is done, and don’t overindulge. Also, in the same vein, there can be a tendency to isolate and avoid social encounters; be sure to incorporate supervised social encounters into the calendar, and you may find it helpful to plan trips to the zoo, local library, autism-friendly theatre, and bookstore. Also, don’t forget, for all kiddos, daily running around and lots of physical activity. --- ##### Childcare / Babysitting / Camps Babysitters and childcare tends to get filled-up pretty quick, so don’t delay in connecting with that local teenager who does a great job with your kids, or that daycare provider who comes highly recommended by your friends. Reserve the spots and make deposits, based on that schedule mentioned earlier. Also, start now to reserve spots for summer camps; they fill-up very quickly. If your child has special needs and will be attending a therapeutic camp, call your child’s casemanager for an updated list of camps, and contact your child’s psychologist to obtain a current prescription. If you want to enroll your special needs child into a typical camp or activity, and believe he’ll need individualized attention, you may be able to obtain wraparound services (Therapeutic Staff Support) to provide such attention. Contact this psychologist to further discuss this option. --- ##### Daily Routine Summer is time for relaxation, being ‘laid back’, and being more flexible and free-flowing. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Maintaining some semblance of routine can be helpful, especially if it involves getting past the less favored tasks (chores, academics) to move-on to more fun, sun-filled activities. If your child has special needs, then maintaining a consistent routine is even more important. In fact, be sure he knows about the schedule, what to expect, and answer any questions ahead of time. A picture schedule is also advised. --- ##### As the Summer Winds-Down I hate to write of the summer ending when it hasn’t even begun, but keep in mind the importance of getting more and more into a school routine as the summer comes to a close. The last week of summer should be very close to the school routine in terms of bedtime and wake-up. ### Okay, that about wraps it up for now. Have a wonderful summer!!! ### 5 Easy Steps To A More Compliant Child URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/5-easy-steps-to-a-more-compliant-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T15:25:49.000Z ### **Here are 5 foundational steps of getting your kid(s) to be compliant:** **1\. Relationship, Relationship, and more Relationship.** If you don’t have a fun-loving and enjoyable relationship with your child, then you’re in for a really tough time. The goal is that your child wants to follow your directions, and wants a happy and harmonious home-life and, consequently, is more willing to comply. **2\. A calm approach.** If you’re relying on emotion; yelling, fussing, and carrying-on to get your child to comply, then you’re undoubtedly frustrated and annoyed. Instead, no matter how you feel inside, stay calm and unemotional. Your child will perceive you as stronger, more ‘together’, and in-control, all of which will get his or her attention, in a good way. **3\. Use as few words as possible.** Pestering will get you nowhere, except to feeling ineffectual and worn-out. **4\. Rely on consequences, not pestering.** Instead of using lots of words, rely on firm and consistent consequences. I prefer time-out to the child’s room because it’s easy to implement, time-limited, and effective. However, loss of privilege is also a useful option. **5\. Praise, then praise some more.** If you want to see more of something, lavishly praise it. I hope you find these top 5 to be helpful for you as well. Okay, they’re not exactly “easy” but they can lead to a much easier time with your kids. I imagine you have questions about how to make them work; feel free to email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com, and don’t forget to check our helpful videos, which provide helpful insights into all these matters, at appletreeinstitute.com. See you next time. ### Do You Want a Smart, or Wise, Child? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:32.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The benefits of brilliance](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#The%5Fbenefits%5Fof%5Fbrilliance) - [Does being smart mean theyll make good decisions and be wise](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#Does%5Fbeing%5Fsmart%5Fmean%5Ftheyll%5Fmake%5Fgood%5Fdecisions%5Fand%5Fbe%5Fwise) - [The Wisdom Factor](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#The%5FWisdom%5FFactor) - [Where does wisdom come from](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#Where%5Fdoes%5Fwisdom%5Fcome%5Ffrom) - [Where does that leave our kids](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#Where%5Fdoes%5Fthat%5Fleave%5Four%5Fkids) - [Smarts vs wisdom](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/do-you-want-a-smart-or-wise-child/#Smarts%5Fvs%5Fwisdom) ## The benefits of brilliance I know you want your child to be smart, earn good grades, and achieve lots of academic success. It’s wonderful to see that ‘A’ on the report card, and it makes you feel proud and encouraged for your child’s future. I have lots of talks with parents about how to improve their child’s academic achievement, and these discussions are necessary and worthwhile. However, as I leave church this morning, I can’t help but think that there is something more. As much as I want my kids to be smart and achieve, even more I want them to be wise. I want them to make good decisions, and live a good life. ## Does being smart mean they’ll make good decisions (and be wise)? We want our kids to be smart, but does that mean they’ll be wise too? If a child gets good grades, will they also make good decisions in their life? That’s a tough one. Research has shown that smart people tend to be more “successful”. However, is it always a sure bet that they’re wiser? There are lots of smart people in jail. As a psychologist, I also know that there are lots of smart people who are not especially happy. I also know that there a lot of less-than-brilliant people who are really happy, and not in jail. So, guess it’s safe to say that smart doesn’t equal wise. ## The Wisdom Factor What’s the different between being smart and being wise? Smart people may have a high IQ, but wise people make good decisions. They know when to say no. That begs the question: what are “good decisions?” I suppose they are choices that keep us out of trouble, help and bring us closer to others, and benefit our lives and the lives of others. The more we do such things, the happier and more content we’ll be, don’t ya think? ## Where does wisdom come from? We can read from the book of Proverbs (the “manual for living”), that God cherishes wisdom more than smarts and has helped to “keep us from making wrong turns or following the bad direction.” Am I saying that wisdom comes from our relationship with God; well, yea, I am. It’s hard, otherwise, to learn right from wrong, and stay strong to do what’s right. ## Where does that leave our kids? Okay, back to where we started; you want your child to be smart and earn good grades. However, you also want your child to be make good decisions, have good and healthy interpersonal boundaries and relationships, not make a wreck of their lives, help others, and be as joyful as possible despite inevitable trials and tribulations. Given that these things have such strong moral under-pinnings, it’s difficult to remove them from the spiritual. I think that’s why we, as parents, go to such great lengths to get our kids to Church, Sunday School, Mass, Synagogue, Temple, Mosque, or wherever you go to get closer to God. We intuitively know that the closer our child is to knowing and understanding God, the more likely he or she is to make better choices. We also remember the motto, ‘what you do speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say’, so we work extra hard to model, for our children, a virtuous life. ## Smarts vs wisdom To sum it up, I’ll be happy if both my kids earn straight A’s, are valedictorians, go to medical school, and find a cure for cancer. However, I’ll be positively thrilled if they, quite simply, are wise. How about you? ### Separation Anxiety: How to manage school anxiety URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:34.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [The morning blues](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#The%5Fmorning%5Fblues) - [Heal thyself](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#Heal%5Fthyself) - [Temptations](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#Temptations) - [What to do](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#What%5Fto%5Fdo) - [One size fits all](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#One%5Fsize%5Ffits%5Fall) - [Future Anxiety](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-how-to-manage-school-anxiety/#Future%5FAnxiety) ## The morning blues I’ve had quite a few kids in my office, as of late, struggling with separation anxiety and having a hard time getting to school. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience struggling through the morning routine, with your child fussing and wanting to stay home. I hope your kids have navigated this transition without undue difficulty. However, my kiddo, Nico, was not so fortunate. Much to his chagrin, when he started Kindergarten in public school and faced the separation process; well, it didn’t go so well. Our mornings were replete with his crying, clinging to his mother’s leg, making a run for it, and exclaiming his desire to “skip” Kindergarten. ## Heal thyself Of course, as a child psychologist, I’ve had to deal with this problem countless times. I knew what to do; but it sure can be tough to do it. How hard is it to see your child suffer? It’s our first impulse to ‘do something’, and give-in, to remedy the problem and see our child smile again, as quickly as possible. ## Temptations It was therefore tempting to simply send my son back to his small, nurturing private school with only a handful of classmates. I’ve talked to parents who have been equally tempted to home or cyber-school. I appreciate, now more than ever, their inclination to do so. It’s tortuous to see our kids struggle. ## What to do? The answer was to compel Nico to face his fears. Despite the impulse to do otherwise and simply wait (hope) for maturity, there was no guarantee that time would solve this problem. I reminded myself of having worked with High School students who continued to struggle with school refusal due to anxiety. So, rather than capitulate, we remained firm and provided some accommodations. Nico was given ongoing encouragement, calming strategies, was driven to school (at first), the Guidance Counselor met him to walk to class, and he was given extra attention from the classroom teacher. We faded these strategies and he improved over the course of the year. However, even to this day, at times he’s less than thrilled about attending school, but it’s nothing like it used to be. ## One size fits all? The motto for anxiety disorders is ‘face your fears’; and it’s the most effective avenue for overcoming such problems. However, the key question is how, when, and how much fear we face at any given time. Sometimes we need to face the fear all at once; but sometimes gradually. It all depends on the severity of the fear, and the child’s response to ‘facing’ the fear. Nevertheless, either way, the goal is always a progressive and unrelenting pursuit of facing the fear. ## Future Anxiety? Children who struggle with separation anxiety tend, by their very nature, to be more sensitive, anxious, and uptight about other things, and such often carries-on throughout life. However, while excessive anxiety may surface now and then, the key is to teach coping strategies to learn how to manage the fear so that they control it, rather than the anxiety controlling them; and this learning can be effectively used for the rest of their lives. I trust you’ll find this post to be helpful, and please don’t hesitate to email me about any ongoing anxiety problems. God bless and happy separating. *Written by Dr. John Carosso* ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:35.000Z #### Table of Contents Show - [Merry Christmas and Happy New Year](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/#Merry%5FChristmas%5Fand%5FHappy%5FNew%5FYear) - - [What Im expected to do%E2%80%A6](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/#What%5FIm%5Fexpected%5Fto%5Fdo%E2%80%A6) - [Is there more](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/#Is%5Fthere%5Fmore) - [Seems only fitting](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/#Seems%5Fonly%5Ffitting) - [Tap into the Source](https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-4/#Tap%5Finto%5Fthe%5FSource) Written By Dr. John Carosso ## Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! It's a tradition to run this post for the Holiday; hope you enjoy it, and wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas and Holiday Season. ### What I’m expected to do… As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). ### Is there more? Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? ### Seems only fitting During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? ### Tap into the Source Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the Source (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: jcarosso@cpcwecare.com ### Full-Day Preschool Better Than Half-Day? Really? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/full-day-preschool-better-than-half-day-really/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:37.000Z Recent Research Findings out of the Institute of Child Development and Human Capital Research Collaborative (say that three times real fast) at the University of Minnesota found that kids who were involved in full-day preschool ended-up being more prepared for Kindergarten than those kiddos who went half-day. As per the reported highlights of the study, the former had better scores in math, language, socio-emotional development and physical health tests. The headlines might make a parent think they need to immediately enroll their 3 year-old in a full-day preschool program. Think again. Deeper look at the results As I’ve preached on many occasions, you can’t simply look at headlines and brief descriptions of research; that’s too misleading. First, let’s look at the subjects: 409 4 and 5 year-olds, in urban Chicago schools. Next, let’s look at the significant differences; for socio-emotional functioning, the disparity in scores was 59 vs. 55; language, 40 vs. 37; math, 40 vs. 36; health, 36 vs. 34; total score, 298 vs. 278\. Non-significant findings were found in the areas of literacy and cognitive development. Looking at those scores and the subtle differences, is there anyone concerned that their child, if not immediately enrolled in a full-day preschool, is going to be ill-prepared for Kindergarten compared to kids going full-time? The “Obviously’ and ‘So What’ Factorsudrban My initial thoughts after reading the results of the study was, ‘well, obviously’ and then, ‘so what’. Okay, the first thought; it is perfectly logical that kids in school 7 hours a day for one or two years, compared to kids who are in school ½ that time, would be a bit more better-prepared for Kindergarten. They’ve simply had more practice at school-stuff. However, I have no doubt that the other kids catch-up very quickly, and lots of research supports that notion. This also leads to my second thought of ‘so what’; a child a few points higher is not a big deal and, again, the others catch-up rather quickly. Lastly, take note that these findings are not entirely applicable to all kids (those raised outside of an urban area), which is something that needs to be considered when applying the results to any given child. Who is feeling guilty? There was a day when parents who sent their kids off to daycare/preschool for long hours felt guilty for doing so. I believe that any such guilt is silly; if you’re a parent in that boat, you’re working your butt off to meet your family’s needs and doing what you have to do. Many a parent would much prefer to be home with their kids and families, but reality gets in the way. Research suggests that your children turn out just fine (and some would say they turn-out even better, as per the above-cited research), so no harm, no foul. However, by the same token, there is no reason for headlines to mislead and give the impression that being away from your child all day is ‘better’ for your child. That too is silly. Kids like to be with their parents, and parents like to be with their kids; and this can be especially important for three and four year-olds. If you’ve arranged to be at home most of the time with your young child, then fine; no harm, no foul. Okay, that about sums it up Hope you all had a relaxing Thanksgiving, and that you have a blessed and joyous Christmas and Holiday Season. Dr. John Carosso ### Get Your Questions Answered Now!!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/get-your-questions-answered-now/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:39.000Z It's your turn Please let me know what topic(s) you'd like me to cover in upcoming blog posts, or questions you have about how to manage a particular situation with your child, or anything about kids you've been wondering about and want more explanation. You're not alone Believe me, when you ask a question, you're not alone. To be sure, plenty of parents have a similar question or problem, so my answer to your question can potentially help lots of families. Of course, everything is confidential (no personal details will be divulged in my answer) so no need to worry about that. Also, any and all questions are good questions. I'm looking forward to hearing from you Just drop me an email to jcarosso@cpcwecare.com and ask whatever's on your mind. I look forward to hearing from you and getting those questions answered. Have a blessed and peaceful Holiday season Dr. John Carosso ### Is Your Child Depressed? Here’s What To Do URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/is-your-child-depressed-heres-what-to-do/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:40.000Z Why do kids get depressed? I work as a child psychologist, so obviously I come across quite a number kids struggling with feeling ‘down’ and with low self-esteem. There are common themes to this problem, and common causes. In many cases, there is long-standing genetic predisposition to the disorder (depression ‘runs in the family’) and the child is subsequently more vulnerable to bouts of sadness and being ‘down in the dumps.’ In other situations, there has been loss and strife in the child’s life, and they’re reacting as would mostly anyone. Finally, some kids have both components (heredity and tough environmental situations) that contribute to the problem. What to do? You won’t go too far in your research of managing depression before coming to ‘cognitive-behavioral’ interventions, which target cognitive (targeting thoughts) and behavior (changing behavior) to uplift one’s mood. In this respect, there is telltale ‘depressed thinking’ that people who struggle with depression tend to experience, such as “I’m never any good,” “I always do things wrong,” or “it will never change.” Changing those thoughts (especially the ‘nevers’ and ‘always’), making them more realistic and healthy, goes a long way to improve the child’s mood. We also change ‘behavior’ to ensure that kids with depression don’t behave in a way that people with depression tend to behave, e.g. withdraw from friends and family, and avoid activities they formerly enjoyed. Working with a therapist is often helpful, but it clearly takes the entire family, working together with the therapist, to ensure the child thinks in healthier ways, and remains active, engaged, and involved. We also incorporate coaches, teachers, kid’s Pastors, neighbors, relatives, and anyone else who has a close relationship with the child to help in the effort. What else? Parents often ask about improving their child’s self-esteem, which of course is vital. It’s important to remember that people bolster their self-esteem through accomplishment; it’s no free gift. Kids are no different from adults; they gain a sense of competency and self-confidence by doing and accomplishing something meaningful. This could include catching a fly ball, getting an A or a B on a hard test, making a new friend, finishing a book, or just having fun running around playing outside with friends on a sunny day. Accomplishments such as these give a child a chance to look back and think ‘look what I did today – I’m better than I was yesterday”. Even if a child tries and doesn’t do well (drops the fly ball), at least they tried – they put themselves ‘out there’ and took a risk; that fact needs to be emphasized for them. It’s vital to find your child’s interests and passions, and tap into them. Sitting on the couch playing video games, or watching TV, just doesn’t cut it in bolstering self-esteem, nor of course does sitting in one’s room texting and isolating. Of course, it’s also vital that parents provide positive feedback to their child, maintaining the balance between encouraging their child to be the best they can be, while not being critical, demeaning, or overly demanding. For more on this subject, see my prior post ‘the recipe for ruining a perfectly good kid.’ It’s also vital to promote a balanced and healthy diet, daily vitamin, and lots of exercise. Self-esteem from the inside out It could be said that, as human beings, we have inherent worth that needs to be respected. However, this concept only gets us so far (have you seen what horrible things of which humans are capable?). I’ve found what’s more impactful is the Spiritual avenue; in that respect, knowing that you’re a child of the King of kings, Creator of the universe, chosen and adopted into His royal family, and ‘the apple of His eye’ is about as self-esteem bolstering as it gets. Moreover, knowing that the King is jealously guarding and protecting you is comforting and empowering. One could argue that nothing else better-answers the question of ‘what is our purpose in life’ and provides a sense of direction and hope. Where does that leave us? Kids are prone to become depressed, just like adults. The usual cause is loss, family difficulties, and/or genetics. The remedy is changing dysfunctional thoughts (with the help from a trained therapist), altering unhealthy behaviors, promoting activity and accomplishment, and looking toward spiritual growth (preferably as a family). To help the process along, medication can also be instrumental to speed the recovery process. These steps have an 80% success rate. Not convinced, or if you have questions, feel free to email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. God bless. Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D. ### To Spank or Not to Spank? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/to-spank-or-not-to-spank/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:42.000Z Given all the recent news regarding spanking and using a 'switch' to "teach children a lesson", I thought it would be a good time to revisit one of my earlier posts on this subject. Please pass it along: **Does Spanking Work?** Okay, as a professional I'm supposed to tell you that corporal punishment (spanking) is a no-no and you shouldn’t do it. I’m supposed to tell you that it’s ineffective and simply does not work. Well, I’m not going to tell you that; or at least not that it doesn’t work. Think of it this way, I imagine most of you men (If any men actually read this blog) would think twice before crossing a guy three times your size. Well, likewise, your kiddo isn’t stupid and realizes when he’s been out-gunned; which is why spanking "works". **Sure, it can make your kid's obey, but....** Of course, many of us have our own experience with being spanked, and recognize first-hand the potential effectiveness of the back-hand. However, once we move past the recognition of spanking being effective in getting kids to obey, we are left with some potential problems. I hear you saying ‘I knew you were going to say that…” Well, ignorance can be bliss, but maybe not so blissful for your kids, especially if you rely on spanking as your primary form of discipline. **Problems?** What are the problems? First, do you really want to hit your kids? Is there not something inherently wrong with hitting anyone, let alone somebody you love? Also, are we not trying to send appropriate messages to our kids. Do you like the message of ‘when somebody frustrates you, hit them.’ If your child is prone to be aggressive, e.g. hits his sister when angry, then does it help to tell him “no hitting” and then hit him? **Going too far?** How does a parent feel while spanking? Obviously, they’re angry and frustrated; is it a stretch that an angry parent, in the heat of the moment, might hit too hard, or too many times? **Teachable moment lost** Does spanking teach the child more appropriate ways of behaving? Is time-out, loss of privilege, the softer and closer approach, or behavior charts more effective? Does spanking create good or bad feelings; does it promote a positive, or negative, tone in the family? Is spanking consistent with Jesus’ command to do unto others as you’d have done to you? These are questions to ask yourself; the answers will lead you in the right direction. Oh, by the way, since I brought-up Jesus, you may be thinking about that ‘spare the rod, spoil the child' Bible verse. However, God’s “rod” provides comfort (24th Psalm: “Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me”); rods were used in Biblical days to guide sheep, not beat them. **Let's teach, guide, and love our kids** We want to guide our children; love them, teach and comfort them. The manner in which you carry out those duties, in a consistent, loving, and firm way, maybe even with a sense of humor, will serve you well in raising your kids. Now, go get softer and closer with your kids. God bless you and yours. *Dr. John Carosso* ### What Type Of School Is Best For My Special Needs Child? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/what-type-of-school-is-best-for-my-special-needs-child/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:44.000Z **So many from which to choose** There are many school options for parents; brick-and-mortar public schools, public cyber schools, private schools, specialized alternative placements, and homeschooling to name a few. Parents are often left wondering which is the best option for their child, especially parents of children with special needs. **The Public Option** Public school has many advantages given that, by law, the public school system must provide a “free and appropriate education”, and implement special education services if the child meets special education criteria. Public schools are largely compelled to educate no matter the condition (as opposed to expel your child), and ultimately meet your child’s needs or transition to a facility that can, and pay for it. **The Cyber Option** There are situations where parents believe the public school system is failing their child, and the alternative specialized placements are not seen as appealing. Parents may then decide to cyber-school, which can be an excellent option if it’s important for your child to have an individualized environment, a more flexible daily schedule, and be able to work at their own pace. However, parents need to recognize that the “individual attention” is likely going to be provided by them (the parent); and that you may find yourself in the challenging situation of being your child’s ‘teacher’; i.e. sitting with them and providing the prompting, praising, guiding, and cajoling to get your child through their school assignments. If you have the time and gumption, then this can work, but it can be quite an undertaking. **The Home Schooling Option** Whatever is indicated as challenging above under “The Cyber Option,” multiply that x2 for Home Schooling. Not only is the parent compelled to provide individualized attention, the parent also must investigate, obtain, and implement the proper curriculum. Sometimes this works just fine but, again, similar with cyber-schooling, a parent serving as both ‘Mom’ (or Dad) and ‘Teacher’ can be tough for both Mom and the child. **A Private School?** A Private School can be a wonderful option. Private schools typically offer smaller classrooms, sometimes are more flexible than public schools in modifying structure, and teachers are often very accommodating. Moreover, parents often appreciate the spiritual elements inherent in such a setting. However, private schools are not legally compelled to educate your child and can expel if proving to be too difficult, and they are not required to provide ‘special education’ services. Also, at times such schools have the attitude of ‘our way or the highway’, which may not work so well for special needs children. **What about specialized or typical preschools?** Children with developmental issues often thrive in specialized preschools such as through DART/IU programs. However, parents often appreciate their child being in a regular preschool setting so as to model after neuro-typical kiddo’s language and play skills, but have concern that their child may not do well with 15-20 other kids in that typical preschool class. Deciding between the two school options can be quite a dilemma, which is often resolved by doing both. In that regard, enrolling part-time in a specialized preschool, and part-time in a typical preschool but with individualized attention such as from Therapeutic Staff Support. In this way, the child gets the best of both worlds. **So which is best?** Of course, there is no singular answer to this question; it depends on your child, the situation, and the time-frame. In terms of time-frame, I often see parents of a child with an anxiety disorder, for example, ultimately choosing to home or cyber-school their child due to ongoing anxiety and school-refusal. These children often subsequently perform well in the home setting, but the problem is that their anxiety disorder is often not addressed given that the standard mode of treatment for anxiety is having the child confront their fear (go to school). Nevertheless, the cyber or home-schooling experience can be advantageous for a few semesters as the child receives therapy and bolsters their coping mechanisms. However, a return to a more traditional school setting, at some point, would be optimal. In the same sense, many children with special needs flourish in smaller private school settings and home/cyber-school situations and parents relish the opportunity to assist in meeting their child’s educational needs, and have no reservations about the time and energy if it’s seen as beneficial. In those situations, everyone wins. It’s important, however, that parents know ‘what they are getting themselves into’ prior to undertaking the endeavor to avoid any regrets. It’s also vital to thoroughly interview school officials to be sure exactly and precisely what is expected, and what will be provided to meet your child’s needs. It’s also helpful to observe classrooms when possible. These decisions are often complex and multi-faceted; I invite parents to contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com to discuss their child and help them with such decision-making. God bless you in your efforts to meet your child’s needs. **Dr. John Carosso, Psy.D. Child Psychologist** ### Child Won’t Sleep In Her Own Bed? Here’s What To Do. URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/child-wont-sleep-in-her-own-bed-heres-what-to-do/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:46.000Z **How it all starts** It usually begins innocently enough; your child isn’t feeling well and wants to sleep in your bed. One night turns into two, then three… Or your infant child has colic and is difficult to soothe and you find yourself often falling asleep with your child, year after year. In either case, as well as countless other potential scenarios, the end result is the same; your child is consistently sleeping in your bed and won’t sleep alone in her own bed. **What’s the big deal?** Interestingly, some parents don’t seem to mind, and there is even a movement by some groups to suggest that this is a healthy arrangement. If you’re in that group, I guess you can stop reading. Otherwise, if you’re a parent who actually wants to be alone with their spouse, is tired of constantly being kicked in the stomach during sleep by their forever-moving child, or is somehow aware that a healthy child is able to sleep comfortably alone in her own bed, then definitely keep reading. **Is it best for my child to sleep alone?** Yes, it is. The process of falling asleep is rather complex and particular skills are involved. For example, a child needs to be able to clear their mind, turn off their thoughts, calm themselves, and allow themself to comfortably drift away into la-la land. This is no easy task, especially for kids who find themselves, at bedtime, away from everyone and alone in a dark room. The process of self-soothing is a learned skill, and is also subsequently used during the day to calm when in a stressful situation. It’s a skill that definitely comes-in handy. In fact, countless times I’ve seen kiddo’s appear more mature, relaxed, and confident after they learn how to fall asleep alone at night. Not to mention parents appearing a lot happier. **What to do?** If you find yourself consistently sleeping next to a very small person who, nightly, finds their way into your room, you’ve probably tried the common strategy of taking the child back to their bed only to find the child back in your bed when you awaken in the morning. Or maybe you’ve attempted to reason with your child, or use sticker charts, and other rewards. If you remain consistent, these are all commendable approaches, and it can also be quite effective to use these commonly applied approaches: 1\. Talk to the child during the day, pleasantly explaining the expectations and rewards for sleeping on their own. 2\. Keep a consistent bedtime routine. 3\. Answer any fears the child may have. 4\. Comfort your child at bedtime while sitting beside the bed as they begin to relax and fall asleep. However, it’s vital you do not fall asleep with the child, or have the child fall asleep while you’re beside the bed (the goal is for the child to fall asleep alone). Yes, your child may fuss, cry, and call-out for you, but it’s vital you allow your child to learn that ‘everything is okay’ and he or she can fall asleep on their own. The first few nights may be tough, but hang in there. **What if?** Okay, I hear your big question: what if my child simply will not remain in her bed, tantrums, and won’t stay in her room? What then? Okay, here’s the hard part; you have two choices. 1.) keep-up with the slow but progressive approach of walking your child back to their bed, getting them comfortable, and then leaving. You may make that trip many times, but consistency is the key. Do not verbally engage, and remain with your child for as little time as possible (the less attention, the better). Of course, that approach is quite taxing, especially after you’ve worn a path in the carpet between her room and yours. **What else can I do?** Well, this next tip can be tough for many parents, but it’s also quite effective and faster as a remedy to this problem. Here’s what you do: you tell your child the expectations for bedtime and offer all the aforementioned reassurances. Explain that you’ll be leaving their door open, and yours, so that she can feel comfortable at bedtime. You’ll explain, however, that if she won’t remain in her room, that you’ll close her door. If she still won’t remain in her room, you’ll explain that you’ll be securing the door from the outside or in some way confining in their room (by using a gate, or ¾-door…). Of course, you won’t confine your child until you’re sure that the room is safe, and that she won’t tantrum in a manner that will cause her harm. You may even drill a peep-hole in the door so you can always see what’s going on in there. However, ultimately, if necessary, you’ll close and secure the door or use some type of gate that keeps your child in the room. Of course, she’ll tantrum, cajole, complain, threaten, and may even kick the door. However, you’ll stand firm and you will not provide any verbal feedback (you want her to think you’ve fallen asleep and can’t even hear her). What will happen next? Your child may tantrum for an hour or so the first night, but you’ll see the tantrums reduce appreciably the next night. In fact, most kids don’t tantrum after the first night; they’re not stupid and don’t want to be confined in their room. However, I want to emphasize again that safety is the key; it’s vital to ensure the room is safe and that your child will not become self-injurious when tantrumming. I usually advise starting with the first approach (walking the child back to their room…) before moving to confining your child, and I imagine your kiddo will appreciate that latitude. Also, if your child is prone to violent tantrums and extreme emotional reactions, it’s best to contact me to discuss, at [jcarosso@cpcwcare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwcare.com) or call me at one of the offices, before moving forward with the approach of securing your child in their room. However, in the vast majority of cases, with typical kids, it works out just fine. **The three ticket strategy** On a different but related note, if you have a child who gets in bed but then pesters for everything under the sun including a drink, a hug, to go to the bathroom or to get something to eat, or any number of other things to keep you around and to keep from going to sleep, here’s a strategy you may find helpful. Of course, you can simply ignore these requests, or you can give your child 2 or 3 “tickets” that can be traded for something they want. However, after getting the drink, for example, they give-up a ticket. After 2 or 3 times, they have no tickets left and no more requests are indulged. I’ve found, and research results support this observation, that many kids will ultimately use none of the tickets and simply go to sleep. They find that having the tickets is comforting and knowing they can use them, if necessary, is enough for them. **That’s about it** Okay, that sums it up. You have two choices to get your child to sleep alone, both of which can be effective: the more traditional but longer approach, or the quicker albeit more stressful strategy (in that regard, it can be stressful to consider securing your child in their room). It’s advised to start with the first, and then think carefully before trying the second. Remember, safety is the key. Please feel free to contact me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com with any thoughts or questions about this common problem, and these strategies. **John Carosso, *Child Psychologist*** ### Getting Back to School: Autism and Beyond URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-to-school-autism-and-beyond/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:48.000Z **Yes, it’s that time** Yes, it’s tough to even think about the Fall, but nevertheless it's time to prepare for the 'back to the school' routine. **Summer vs School Routine** Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routine? If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture-shock for your child, and not too pleasant for you either. **What to do (tips for parents of children with autism, and typical kiddos):** 1\. Begin slowly adjusting routines for earlier bedtime. 2\. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet-reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3\. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. 4\. Arrange play-dates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5\. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom, and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6\. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file-folders…). Integrate material-color with picture schedule. 7\. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut-off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. 8\. Pick-out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). 9\. Use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10\. Prepare school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. 11\. Prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect, and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 12\. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 13\. Autism-Speaks also has some nice back-to-school bulletins (I especially like the ‘about me’ activity): [CLICK HERE](http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) to go site If you have any other tips, please comment; it will be appreciated. Comment at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). **God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer!** **Dr. John Carosso, Child Psychologist** ### DSM-V and the Autism Diagnosis: Is The Change Hurting Children? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dsm-v-and-the-autism-diagnosis-is-the-change-hurting-children/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:42.000Z When the DSM-5 replaced the DSM-IV-TR in 2013, it consolidated previously separate diagnoses, including Autistic Disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, and PDD-NOS, under the single umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder. The change sparked significant concern among families and clinicians: would children who previously qualified under Asperger's or PDD-NOS lose their diagnosis and, with it, access to services? The clinical debate that followed was significant. In practice, outcomes have been mixed, some individuals did lose diagnoses, while others were unaffected. What's clear is that accurate, individualized evaluation matters more than ever in the post-DSM-5 landscape. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides thorough evaluations that account for the full clinical picture. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us for more information. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Are Your Kids “Lazy”, Or Are They Being Lazy? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/are-your-kids-lazy-or-are-they-being-lazy/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:36.000Z **Subtle difference?** Well, it’s really not so subtle. It’s the difference between labeling your child, or simply describing an annoying and transient behavior. **What’s the big deal?** When we call our kids “lazy”, “rude”, “liars”, “thieves”, or whatever, we are defining their character, and suggesting that this is their enduring quality. Okay, so now you’re saying, well, they are!! That may be true, but I’ll bet you can think of lots of times when your child is motivated, nice, told the truth, and did not steal. Even if the particular behavior is somewhat enduring, your child is still young; their personality is molding and shaping, and you’re in a strategic position to help shape it in the right direction. **What “labels” tend to do** Okay, here’s a scenario for you; you’re young, impressionable, don’t have a solid grasp or sense of yourself as a person, and have a tendency to believe what you’re told especially when told by the most important person in your life. In this scenario, you’re consistently told that you’re “lazy” or a “liar” or whatever. One can imagine that you may come to personally identify and internalize these traits, and expect to consistently behave in that way. Note that kids, and people, often live up (or down) to expectations. **A better option** Here’s a better option for you; label the behavior, rather than the child. Quite simply, for example, say “you’re lying” rather than “you’re a liar”; or you’re being lazy, or you’re being rude”. This option is definitely better than directly labeling the child, but it’s still not the best option. **An even better option?** Yes, there is an even better option. Instead of labeling the child or the behavior, simply redirect the behavior, describe very specifically what you want to see, and use the situation as a teachable moment. Think about it, calling your child “rude” does not teach; it simply degrades and disparages. Instead, if you’re child calls you a name, rather than call him “rude”, describe the behavior as unacceptable, explain how he could have better-expressed his frustration, maybe even have him repeat the more appropriate words, and then implement a fair consequence. Same holds for “lazy”. Rather; tell your child exactly what you need to see him doing, set a firm limit for him to get started, and then implement a consequence if necessary. **You get what you praise** If your child has a particular problem with not being especially motivated, or telling mistruths, or taking items, then pay very close attention to her behavior and praise big-time when your child demonstrates the pro-social alternative. Remember, if you consistently praise a behavior, it is much more likely to be repeated. Sticker charts also do wonders. **Happy and Harmonious** You want your home to be a happy, pleasant, and cordial environment, right? Of course. You’ll go a long way to making that happen after dropping labels, describing behaviors you instead want to see, relying on firm consequences without yelling and emotion, and using lots of praise. Not to be redundant, but think about it, how do you feel when you’re called lazy, rude, or a liar? Would you do better calling your husband “lazy” or simply telling him exactly what you need and that he’ll suffer a consequence (he knows what you mean) if he does not immediately help you? Hope this was helpful. By the way, if you have any helpful personal experiences, or other good alternatives to labeling, please share at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). Thanks. Dr. John Carosso ### Don’t Miss These Helpful Parenting Resources!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dont-miss-these-helpful-parenting-resources/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:49.000Z At [cpcwecare.com](http://www.cpcwecare.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) you can find a bunch of helpful parenting resources. Here are a few: **Check out our TV programs from “CPC Presents” covering any number of topics including:** o Facts and fallacies about autism o Teenage cutting o Understanding fears and phobias o Facts and fallacies about ADHD o Trichotillomania o Selective mutism o Managing behavior problems o Bipolar Disorder in Children o Video game addiction o Back to school anxiety o ADHD and Learning Disabilities o Child custody issues o Childhood sleep disorders o And more · We have a link to the [AppleTreeInstitute.com](http://www.appletreeinstitute.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) site that offers on-line step-by-step guidance on how to effectively manage children with autism and/or behavioral challenges. We also have a link to our [dyslexiatreaters.com](http://www.dyslexiatreaters.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) website. · Of course, the CPB Blog is available (you’re reading it now) offering lots of tips and guidance on everything from autism, to learning issues, behavioral problems, mood, anxiety, and more. Please pass it on to a friend so they can sign-up as well. · Our “Autism Spectrum” section answers the most common questions about the autism spectrum · Under ‘Parent Resources’ we have our CPC Answers Series with over a dozen packets providing information about ADHD, Toilet Training, Mood Disorders, autism, dyslexia, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Encopresis, and more. Under that same section, we also offer a categorized index of helpful websites and resources on everything from autism to ADHD, and diet to sensory integration. · Don’t forget our fun ‘Just for Kids’ section offering fun and educational games and activities. · Of course, the site can also be used to locate our offices, make an apt, and download our intake packet. We trust you’ll find the website to be easy to navigate and helpful. Let us know of anything you’d like added to the site. Have a great day!! Dr. John Carosso ### Five (5) Things You Really Need To Know About Special Education URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/five-5-things-you-really-need-to-know-about-special-education/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:51.000Z 1\. **The School District Does not have to evaluate your child just because you submit a signed request to evaluate.** When you submit a written and signed request for an evaluation, the school district has 15 days to meet as a team, discuss your child’s educational needs, and provide a written response with indication of a game-plan to meet your child’s needs. That “game-plan” does not necessarily need to include a referral to the school psychologist for an educational evaluation. It may, rather, include any number of other options including modifications to how the classwork is assigned. However, you can appeal their feedback and request due process in that regard. 2\. **To determine eligibility for special education services, most Districts still use the 15 point discrepancy rule** If your child is evaluated by the school psychologist, various tests are administered (IQ, Academic…). The scores are listed as “Standard Scores” with an average of 100 (average runs from 90 to 109). There generally needs to be a 15 point “discrepancy” or difference between the IQ score and the academic scores (reading, math…) for a child to be deemed eligible for special education (Specific Learning Disability). For example, if the child obtains an IQ of 100, then it’s expected the reading and math scores will also be about 100 (it’s expected that the child will achieve at the same level as their IQ). However, if the reading or math scores are 85, that’s a 15 point difference and would qualify the child for special education (under the classification of a Specific Learning Disability). Less than a 15 point difference would preclude qualification. Other factors are also considered including PSSA scores, grades, work effort, prior opportunity for being appropriately educated, and English language proficiency. However, the 15 point rule is often primary. 3\. **The 15 point discrepancy model is why many kids, who may need special education, don’t qualify** It can be quite challenging to obtain a 15 point discrepancy, especially in the lower grades, and even more-so if a child has a lower IQ, say in the low average range. For example, if a child has an IQ Standard Score of 82 (low in the low average range), then the reading and math standard scores would have to be as low as 67, which is quite deficient and unlikely except in the most severe of situations. So, kids who have a lower IQ, and who are often in most need for special education, are often excluded. Keep in mind that, in this scenario, a child with a Standard Score of 70 in Reading is clearly struggling, but does not qualify because there is less than a 15 point discrepancy. This is a situation that most school districts acknowledge as a problem and try to provide alternative options such as Title I and similar programs. 4\. **The benefit of using grade-equivalents in addition to standard scores** A child may have a Standard Score of 87 in reading comprehension, which is at the upper end of the “low average” range and, on the surface, does not appear significantly deficient and often would not lead to a child meeting criteria for special education (under the classification of a specific learning disability). However, despite the low average score, the grade-equivalent (the grade-level on which the child is working) for that child may be two grades behind, truly revealing the degree to which the child is struggling. Most often, grade-equivalents are not listed in the report, and their importance tends to be down-played for various reasons I won’t bore you with today. However, I’ve found that grade-equivalents are important and need to be reviewed, discussed, and taken seriously during team meetings. 5\. **A classification of “specific learning disability” or “learning disability”, used by the school district, is essentially synonymous with “dyslexia”** The terminology used by school districts (Specific Learning Disability, Other Health Impairment…) comes straight from the Pennsylvania Department of Education in Harrisburg. This Department tells the Districts what terms they must use to receive funding. Consequently, school districts use the term “specific learning disability (SLD)”. It’s important to know that well over 90% of all kids who fall under the classification of SLD, have dyslexia (or dysgraphia, or dyscalculia…). In that regard, the reason they have a specific learning disability is because they have dyslexia. I’ve written at length about dyslexia, so feel free to read my prior posts about that disorder on the cpcwecare.com blog. **What does this mean for you?** In summary, there are lots of accommodation options besides directly referring to the school psychologist for an evaluation. In fact, you may find the process faster and smoother to receive feedback from the team regarding simple and efficient things they can do, now, in the classroom to help your child, and things you can do at home rather than waiting 60 days for the school psychologist to complete and present evaluation results. This is especially true given that a 15 point discrepancy is often needed for eligibility to receive special education services, and the chances are not great your child will have that discrepancy; especially in the lower grades. A 504 Plan may be more than sufficient and is much faster to develop. A 504 Plan is used for children who have a diagnosis for which various modifications can be used to ensure they have the same opportunity for an appropriate education as everyone else. It’s often used, for example, with kids who are diagnosed with ADHD. Ultimately, however, it’s vital to obtain information about what you can do at home to help your child learn. Again, see my prior posts about dyslexia (learning disabilities) for specific tips and suggestions. *Also, feel free to email me at* [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) Dr. John Carosso ### Autism / New On-Line Parent Training Program: Requesting your Suggestions URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-new-on-line-parent-training-program-requesting-your-suggestions/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:43.000Z This post originally invited parents of children with autism to share feedback on a proposed online parent training program, an early effort to extend clinical support beyond the therapy room. Parent training remains a cornerstone of effective autism intervention, equipping caregivers with the strategies and confidence to support their child's development at home and in the community. The landscape for parent training has progressed considerably since this post was written. For current information about parent support resources, coaching, and programming available through Autism Centers of Pittsburgh, please visit acpitt.com or reach out to our team directly. [Visit ACP's Parent Resources →](https://acpitt.com/parents?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How is ADHD Diagnosed? (and is it over-diagnosed?) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-is-adhd-diagnosed-and-is-it-over-diagnosed/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:53.000Z **Pathologizing?** There is wide-spread belief that children are over-diagnosed and over-prescribed, which implies that some kids are ‘just being kids’ and we’re pathologizing them, i.e. giving them a diagnosis, counseling, and medication when we should, rather, be sensitive and accommodating to the wide-spectrum in children’s activity-level and ability to attend. Is this an accurate perspective? **Just the facts Mam’** First, lets look at the stats: Rates of children, ages 4-17, diagnosed with ADHD are at about 7.8% (according to a recent National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey), which is not especially high, and stimulant prescription rates range between 4.3% and 4.4%, which you can see is substantially lower than 7.8%. Also, in that same survey, it was found that only 48% of the ADHD sample had received any mental health care over the prior 12 months, which would suggest children are, actually, being under-treated. **How is the diagnosis made?** To make the point further, if a clinician uses a strict clinical protocol, false-positives (inaccurate diagnosis) should be kept to a minimum. I provide a thorough explanation of the evaluation process in my video on the ‘evaluation process’ But here is a quick overview of specifically what is needed for an ADHD diagnosis: [Click Here](http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC57Fa3L2HSpQifNJAMBiVVA?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) to Watch YouTube Video \-The child must have a long-history of demonstrating the core ADHD symptoms of inattention, impulsitivity, and hyperactivity. ADHD does not suddenly ‘spring-up’ one day after years of attentiveness. It’s usually something teachers and parents see from as early as the pre-school years. \-The signs are seen in multiple locations (school, home, community…). \-The problem is really getting in the way of the child’s functioning. \-Someone else in the family also has a similar problem with inattention, impulsivity… (ADHD tends to run in the family). The problem cannot be explained better by some other malady. For example, if the child is distressed, depressed, anxious, or has learning issues, that may explain the symptoms better than ‘ADHD’. In that regard, if a child is experiencing some sort of stress or serious problem, it’s likely he or she will be preoccupied and subsequently have trouble concentrating. **So you can see…** If this protocol is followed, it’s far more likely that there will be an accurate diagnosis, and an effective treatment plan can then be established. I’ve written at length about proper strategies to address ADHD (please see my prior blog posts) that include a consistent and predictable routine, visual reminders, an organized environment, extra attention and assistance, counseling to improve insight and coping strategies and, in some cases, a medication consultation. **Questions?** If you have questions about this process or your child’s diagnosis, email me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) or call the office. I’d be happy to answer your concerns. Dr. John Carosso ### Top Ten Parental Discipline Strategies!!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/top-ten-parental-discipline-strategies/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:55.000Z *Without further ado, here they are:* 1\. **ASSUME CONTROL** Control based in Action/Relationship Don’t entertain explanations Project self-confidence Business-like Give direction, don’t make requests 2\. **AVOID ARGUMENTS AND EMOTION** Cut-off communication if child becomes belligerent Avoid reasoning with child Give direction and walk away Communicate: It’s your problem, not mine 1-2-3 Magic 3\. **PLAN FOR NEXT TIME** Discuss ahead of time what will happen if noncompliant Also discuss between parents – PLAN AHEAD and BE ON THE SAME PAGE Predetermined expectations and consequences (behavior charts…) Most problem behavior is predictable and patterned Be consistent Don’t give a direction if not ready to back-it-up (each time you do that, you lose some control) 4\. **DON’T LECTURE** Brief and to the point Humor No emotion (be the James Bond of parents) Don’t explain or lecture 1-2-3 Magic 5\. **FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM BEHAVIOR; BE SPECIFIC** Be specific (what you want, and what you like) No emotion, model self-confidence Don’t focus on “attitude” – focus on behavior 6\. **AVOID DISTRACTIONS** Turn off TV, video games Remove siblings Remove siblings, friends No distractions during confrontations and chores 7\. **USE POSITIVE PRAISE AND EMOTION** Catch them being good Whisper (softer and closer) You get what you praise Attention-Tank (fill child’s attention tank with positive praise) 8\. **SELF-DISCLOSURE** Use judiciously and cautiously I-Feel Statements (“I feel frustrated when you ignore me…”) Tell them how you feel, don’t show them (control your emotional response) 9\. **ROLE MODEL APPROPRIATE PROBLEM-SOLVING** ‘What you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say’ Words and emotion are your enemy (brief, no emotion) Role model effective problem-solving 10\. **PICK YOUR BATTLES** Be flexible Check-in later Dr. John Carosso ### Research Findings: Can We Trust them, Part II URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/research-findings-can-we-trust-them-part-ii/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:57.000Z *Two years ago I wrote about the problems we face trusting research findings. To bring you up-to-date, here is my follow-up post. Unfortunately, the situation isn't much improved.* **The information, or misinformation, we face daily** You may have read the recent study out of Warwick Medical School in the UK suggesting that kids from families that frequently moved when the child was young (resulting in child often-changing schools) have an increased risk of psychosis. I imagine there a bunch of parents feeling guilty that they may have “caused” their child’s mental health issues because they frequently moved years ago. This type of interpretation, or misinterpretation, is all too common. Hardly a day goes by when we don’t hear another such aspersion from the news media. Why might this be off-base? That is correlational and observational-type research (not randomized or double-blinded); it’s not cause-effect. It’s simply indicating an apparent association between these two things; moving, and later evidence of psychosis. There are ample alternative explanations; for example, given that schizophrenia is predominately genetically-based, and can lead to job and housing instability, it’s reasonable to assume that families with a higher schizophrenia-loading are more apt to move, and it’s more likely that one of the children will later show some signs of psychosis. One may not have “caused” the other as the news reports would have you believe. **What made all the difference?** How are we able to cease making such associations between likely unrelated events? Historically, such capacity is relatively recent; think about it, how did we come to stop using ‘bled-letting’ to “cure” illnesses? What made the medical community finally realize these approaches were ineffective, and how did we come to realize that subsequent medical treatments were effective beyond simply doing nothing (or draining the blood out of somebody)? **Randomization** Yes, that simple word, but not so simple a process, saved the day for medicine and all subsequent treatment approaches to this day. The concept is relatively recent; first hypothesized and documented in the 1930’s, but not used to assess surgical treatment until the 1960’s. In the absence of randomization and, even better, single or double-blind controls, there are all sorts of things that can make you think the treatment works, or doesn’t work, when it really does, or doesn’t. These things are called confounding variables, and they wreak havoc on a study’s or a “treatment’s” apparent result or effect. Keep in mind that blood-letting was the treatment of choice for 2000 years and continued into the late 19th century. So much for basing a treatment on one’s clinical observation. **How much havoc?** Well, here’s the sad truth; when it comes to the predictive value of studies, randomized trials have an 85% Positive Predictive Value (PPV) rate. However, once you leave the world of randomization, it gets really bleak, really fast, with PPV dropping to between 20% and .1% for nonrandomized epidemiological studies (you know the ones, announced daily on the news saying that if you eat something in particular you’re going to get some type of horrible malady; or if you move, your child may become psychotic). This led to the prominent researcher, Dr John Ioannidis, asserting that half of all research findings are false (even worse, he suggested that 90% of all medical research is inaccurate, and 50% of the research deemed ‘most reliable’, in the most reputable journals, is inaccurate). In that regard, it doesn't matter if the research is coming from the most reputable of journals; it was still found to be flawed (see hormone-replacement therapy, vitamin D for heart disease, and coronary stints, among countless of other research topics). It's also common to find a self-serving statistical sloppiness. In a 2011 analysis, Dr. Wicherts and Marjan Bakker, at the University of Amsterdam, searched a random sample of 281 psychology papers for statistical errors. They found that about half of the papers in high-end journals contained some statistical error, and that about 15 percent of all papers had at least one error that changed a reported finding—almost always in opposition to the authors' hypothesis. These errors have far-reaching implications. For example, claims based on fMRI brain-scan studies are increasingly being allowed into court in both criminal and civil cases. However, study in 2009 found that about half of such studies published in prominent scientific journals were so "seriously defective" that they amounted to "voodoo science" and "should not be believed." **What to do?** We’re bombarded daily with news of the ‘latest research’ asserting one thing or another. What can we believe? I wish I had an easy answer for you. All I can communicate, as emphatically as possible, is that if the research is not based in randomization, then it’s a crap-shoot. Moreover, factor the all-too-common politicization of research findings that further bias the results. Bottom-line: always be skeptical, always look below the surface, study the research design, do not take the news reports at face value, and don’t take the reseacher’s findings, as reported directly in the study, at face value. In that respect, lots of researchers will report findings that sound convincing (they want to get published, get tenure, and be seen on 60 Minutes) but are based in correlational or even purely observational designs, both of which are ripe for errors. To make the matter worse, even randomized designs can have problems and inaccurately skew the results in a favorable light (see “enriched” design). **Where do we go from here?** We have a few options: 1.) read and accept research results, as the mainstream press and journals would prefer, 2.) believe nothing and remain skeptical about everything you read and hear, 3.) learn how to effectively analyze research, or 4.) don’t read anything and turn off your TV. *Option 4 doesn’t sound so bad, but I suggest options 2 and 3\. It’s not easy, but the alternative is, in my opinion, worse.* If you want some resources to learn about effectively interpreting research, email me at [jcarosso@cpcwcare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwcare.com). **God bless you in your ongoing pursuit of the truth.** Dr. John Carosso ### When Should You Tell Your Child The Diagnosis? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/when-should-you-tell-your-child-the-diagnosis/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:28:58.000Z **To tell or not to tell** I am often asked by parents whether or not they should tell their child the diagnosis? It’s a good question, and of course the answer is somewhat complex. **Focus on symptoms, not the diagnosis** I find that it’s rarely beneficial to place a ‘label’ on the symptoms, and subsequently on the child. Rather, I find it helpful to focus on the two or three primary issues or behaviors and explain to the child that you, your child, and the treatment team are going to work improving those issues, e.g. compliance, social skills, safety awareness… The more specific you can be in describing the targeted behavior(s), the better. So, rather than tell a child that he or she has “ADHD” or “autism” and you’re going to treat that “disorder”, I find it more helpful to explain to the child that they have challenges, for example, paying attention in class, or with standing too close to friends, and they’re going to be helped in that regard by specific strategies. **Why not explain the diagnosis?** Explaining the diagnosis can be counterproductive. The child can feel ‘stuck’ in their diagnosis, which often can be stigmatizing and have negative connotations, and people often come to identify with their diagnosis, ie. “I’m ADHD”, or “I’m autistic”, or “I’m Bipolar…”. No, your child is not ADHD, or autistic; rather, your child has a diagnosis of autism; or has a diagnosis of ADHD…; the diagnosis is not ‘them’ as a person but is only a small part of their many wonderful traits and characteristics. Also, sometimes kids will use the diagnosis as an excuse, “I did that because I’m ADHD…” that too is counterproductive. **When to explain the diagnosis?** I find that, as children mature, they become increasingly inquisitive and insightful. At some point, it’s not uncommon that a child begins to sense that something is ‘different’ about them compared to their peers. It’s not uncommon that, in those situations, the child may approach the parent and ask “what’s going on with me… why am I different… I’m not like other people….” In those instances, it’s likely time to explain the diagnosis while, at the same time, focusing on strengths, abilities, and that the child IS NOT their diagnosis, but that the diagnosis simply reflects a cluster of signs and symptoms with which the child and parent will continue to target in treatment. It’s also important to emphasize that the symptoms can be improved, and you can site examples of your child having risen above the ‘diagnosis’ in any number of ways. At times kids will find the information about their diagnosis to be a relief ("I always knew I was different, but never knew why") but others may feel quite distressed with the news. Use a reflective approach (see my earlier posts on that technique) and remain supportive and reassuring. It may help to allow them the opportunity to meet other kids with the same diagnosis (a support group can be quite helpful). **Sum it up** I find that, in general, it’s best to not focus on labels and diagnoses but, rather, describe signs and symptoms that are going to be targeted and overcome. This strategy is empowering, motivating, and directive. However, there are times to discuss the diagnosis, especially if the child is relatively mature, has good self-awareness and insight, and is asking questions about why he or she seems or behaves ‘differently’ from peers. There are a number of helpful books and resources to help with this process; feel free to email me if interested. *Hope that helps. Feel free to email any questions at* [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) God Bless! Dr. John Carosso ### Which Wolf are you Feeding? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/which-wolf-are-you-feeding/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:00.000Z **Which Wolf are you Feeding?** *I don't usually post stories such as this, but this one is too good not to share:* One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all." “One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” “The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” There is debate over where this story originated and who wrote it. No matter, I hope you find it to be moving, motivating, and inspiring. *God bless.* Dr. John Carosso ### Teens and Spirituality URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teens-and-spirituality/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:02.000Z **The Study** A study funded by the John Templeton Foundation and carried-out at The University of Akron, Case Western Reserve University (CWRU) and Baylor University found that teens with substance abuse issues had significantly better outcomes to the extent they had a foundation of spiritual beliefs. **In fact...** Spiritual belief resulted in overall better outcomes in terms of increased rates of abstinence from substances, a decrease in narcissism, and an increase in pro-social behavior. It was also found that a good portion of teens not uncommonly transitioned, over the course of their stay at the facility, from less to more spiritual, and those who did had the aforementioned better outcomes. **By the way...** *Teen Challenge has been touting those types of outcomes for decades.* **Other teens too?** Based on my own clinical and personal experience, spirituality has a highly beneficial grounding effect; it is far more compelling to ‘stay on the straight and narrow’ if one believes that there is bigger, better, and far more powerful entity who makes the rules, and to whom one will have to answer. Otherwise, we’re just dealing with rules made by men with no ultimate authority and, really, in that scenario, it's hard to be inspired. Of course, those who are spiritually-minded can also take comfort in believing that that this same omnipotent entity is on our side, more than willing to intervene when asked, and knows precisely how to resolve the problem to make things right. **Treatment approaches** In my humble view, it seems foolhardy to have any broad-based treatment approach not include sound and empirically-based therapeutic approaches, sound nutrition, exercise, and a heavy dose of spirituality. Try it for yourself, your children, and teens. I’ll bet you’ll like the results. Dr. John Carosso ### How to get kids to listen: Action, not Re-Action URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-get-kids-to-listen-action-not-re-action/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:03.000Z As parents, we expect kids to follow directions when told to do so; and often we have expectation that the response will be immediate. Much to our despair, it’s not, and likely shall never be. That’s the important point; kids are not automatons (or at least mine aren’t – I suspect yours aren’t either). I tell parents during workshops that we don’t expect a table or chair to move if we tell it to; so why do we expect our kids, who have their own agendas, wants, and distractions, to immediately follow our commands with a sense of urgency? In fact, we might have better luck with that wooden table. So, should we simply give-up? Okay. Well, maybe not. Instead, how about changing our expectations and, in doing so, lower our blood pressure. Recognize that, often, kids need that ‘softer and closer’ approach (see former blog on the subject) and close proximity if not gently taking their arm and getting them started on the task. Offering to help them begin the chore also helps. Backing-up our direction with firm consequences always helps, with accompanying soft-spoken reminders of both rewards and consequences that can be earned with compliance. However, to our avail, we as parents tend to rely on pestering with an ever-increasing volume. This approach is the least favorable and results in the most frustration and bad-feelings for all involved. Remember that emotion and words are your enemy, while a softer and closer approach, and clear expectations and consequences, are your friend. Try it, you’ll like it. Now, go get softer and closer with your kids. Dr. John Carosso ### How to listen so kids will too: The art of reflective listening URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-listen-so-kids-will-too-the-art-of-reflective-listening/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:05.000Z **Can you relate to this?** You get into an argument with your spouse. You know your point is valid, but you’re having trouble getting your mate to acknowledge your viewpoint; instead, he just wants to “move on” and “forget about it.” So, he tries to change the subject but you’re left feeling unheard and misunderstood. Given the situation, you’re simply not ready to “move on” and you feel ‘stuck’ and frustrated. In your subsequent stewing over the problem, you think that, if only your point of view was acknowledged, even in disagreement, you’d feel more at-ease and prepared to resolve the matter. **Kids feel the same way** The same thing happens every time you want to “move on” past your child’s disappointment, frustration, anger, or problem. Okay, here’s the scenario: your child complains that he does not want to stop playing his new video game, you just purchased for him, to empty the trash. You abruptly respond, in irritated fashion, for him to follow your direction “NOW” and ignore his obvious distress. I understand that there are situations when there is no time for discussing the matter but you may find, just as with your prior argument with your spouse, that a simple ‘reflective’ comment, acknowledging your child’s feelings, will help him to more quickly move beyond his feelings, put them aside, and carry-out the assigned task. **An example please** A comment such as “I understand it’s frustrating to be taken away from your new game. After you finish the chore you can return to playing.” Feeling ‘heard’ is extraordinarily powerful; it bolsters a sense of comfort and then allows for moving beyond, and past, the problem at hand. Otherwise, we tend to feel ‘stuck’ in the argument. **Also to share success, and show empathy** Reflective listening is vital in all relationships, for topics that are both positive (“I’m so happy for your accomplishment, you worked so hard…”) and negative (“you feel sad that your friend didn’t show-up, that can be disappointing”). In regards to this latter situation, the child will sense his feelings were acknowledged, and be willing to move forward to problem-solving, e.g. “why don’t you call your friend Timothy and see if he wants to come over instead.” In the absence of reflective listening, there is a tendency for your child to become argumentative (“I’m not calling Timmy, I wanted Jim to be here…”). **Give it a try** You can more readily avoid such conflicts with your child, and any other person in your life, by listening for, and acknowledging, their feelings. Try it; you may find yourself feeling happier too. ### The Hate-Filled Letter: What now? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-hate-filled-letter-what-now-sept-5-2013/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:07.000Z **Grandmother receives a nasty letter** You undoubtedly heard by now of the over-the-top, vicious and shameful letter a family in Canada received about their child who has autism. Apparently the neighbor was put-off by the child’s behavior and wrote a hate-filled letter of complaint that was full of insults and vitriol. **Our Reaction** Of course, all reasonable people react with shock, anger, and disdain that a person could be so hostile, thoughtless, and compassionless. We feel for this child and his family, and pray for the child’s future and happiness. **Parent’s Reaction** The child’s mother provided a moving response, indicating that she fully recognizes her child’s behavior can be challenging, and that she does her best to educate neighborhood children and others about his condition. She emphasizes that, despite his condition, of course he deserves respect and to live without ridicule. **Deeper Implications** This situation is clearly extreme and, one would imagine and hope, out of the ordinary. However, it reflects the all-too-common experience of parents of children with autism, and their child with autism. In that respect, how many parents have stories to share of glaring looks and rude remarks, while their child faces teasing, bullying, ridicule, and alienation. **Where do we go from here with this troubling event?** Well, we take a terrible situation and, to the extent possible, we learn from it. Learn what? Well, a few things: 1\. We highlight this mother’s point that educating others is vital. If your child with autism is going to come in contact with others in the neighborhood, at a club or sport, in the classroom, or wherever, it’s imperative, to the extent possible, to help those children and adults to know, ahead of time, what to expect from your child and how to react. There needs to be an understanding that, despite some potentially odd behaviors, your child is delightful, friendly, playful, and pleasant. 2\. To the extent possible, a child with autism tends to need direct adult supervision during such encounters. If not you, then an adult who knows and understands your child needs to be present to intervene as needed and facilitate a more successful social experience. In that regard, leaving the child to his or her own devices is less than advisable; it can result in all sorts of problems and leaves your child vulnerable to being ridiculed and ostracized. 3\. We continue our unending quest to educate the public at large about autism; its characteristics and challenges. We spread the word that the stereotypes are largely unfounded and only serve to foster prejudice. Clearly and unquestionably, the more the general public knows and understands, the better for children with autism and their families. **Moving on** We wish this child and his family nothing but the best, and to live in peace and harmony in their community. We want the same for all those struggling with disabilities. So keep fighting the good fight, and while it sometimes may not feel like it, know that you have a multitude in your corner. *God bless.* ### Induced Labor and Increased Autism Risk: Another misleading Headline | August 20, 2013 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/induced-labor-and-increased-autism-risk-another-misleading-headline-august-20-2013/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:09.000Z *Written by Dr. John Carosso* **What was that all about?** You remember the recent headline, based on a study from JAMA Pediatrics (August 12, 2013), claiming a link between induced and augmented labor and the child later receiving an autism-related special education services down the road. The study looked at birth records from ’90 to ’98, and subsequent educational records from ’97 to ’07. **So what’s the problem?** Emily Willingham of Forbes provides a concise and thorough breakdown of the study’s results, and accurately (in my opinion) concludes that the study, and most studies like it (my conclusion) are quite misleading for lots of reasons including that there is no proven ‘cause-effect’ relationship; only a loose correlation, and many excluded relevant factors. It should also be noted that the issue at hand is inducement and augmentation; when considering only inducement, the effect was 1.1; when adding augmentation it rose to a not especially compelling 1.27 (13% and 27%, respectively). **Other Factors** Factors not considered in the study included mother’s BMI pre-pregnancy, father’s age, child head circumference, specific child birth weight, mother’s insurance status, family socioeconomic status, the presence of any sibling births in the cohort, and if there was any autistic sibling(s). It would seem that these are important factors. Also, interesting, the study looked at link between autism and birth year, with the rates decreasing from 50% to 11% when comparing 1994 and 1998\. Your guess is as good as mine as to what that means, but it adds further speculation to the results. **Wrap-up** Willingham wraps-up the conclusions rather succinctly and logically, based on the data delineated in the study, she writes: “If anything, based on earlier literature, it (the study’s results) adds a slight if only mathematical confirmation of the perception that births involving autistic children can be associated with more complications, such as the presence of meconium, gestational diabetes, and fetal distress, than births involving non-autistic children. And that points to induction and augmentation as useful in these situations, not as problematic, and certainly does not affirm them as a risk.” In fact, one of the authors, *Dr. Chad Grotegut, M.D.*, stated: “This does not mean that labor induction and augmentation cause autism. It simply demonstrates an association between the two, but we don't know what’s causing this increased risk. We don’t know if it’s the mom’s medical conditions or fetal conditions that warrant labor induction or augmentation, the medications used, events that occur prior to or during labor, or something else all together that might explain the association. There are clear benefits to labor induction and augmentation for both moms and their babies. Given that we need more research to determine what is actually causing this increased risk for autism, the results from our study should not be used to change current practices in labor and delivery.” **Just Another Example** This is yet another example of the need to read and study beyond the headlines. It’s important to try to find the actual article and wait for subsequent analysis before you draw any conclusions. Also, note that many on-line news sources are paid by advertisers per ‘click’; the more clicks they can elicit from you, the more money they make. Consequently, the allure of an alarming headline, to compel you to ‘click’ and read further, is quite tempting. Okay, enough about that for now. I hope that helped to clarify that issue. *God bless!* ### “Natural” Remedies and Supplements: Better than Prescribed Meds? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/natural-remedies-and-supplements-better-than-prescribed-meds-august-8-2013/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:11.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **“Natural” is better?** I often hear from parents a preference for “natural” alternatives to their child’s emotional or behavioral issues. Examples include Omega III and tyrosine for ADHD, melatonin for sleep, valerian for anxiety. The idea is that these supplements are naturally occurring substances and not artificially manufactured by pharmaceutical companies. Consequently, they are “better” and healthier for their child. **Are they healthier?** By and large it would seem that there are less side effects and, in general, most supplements could be described as “healthier” given they are “natural”. In that respect, most prescribed medication has no inherent nutritional value especially compared to something like the Omega III’s. However, are they ‘better’ for you or your child? The truth is that we often don’t know about long-term effects and the possibility of adverse reactions of herbals and supplements. For example, I know of parents relying on caffeine to address their child’s attention deficit and hyperactivity; caffeine is definitely ‘natural’ but do you think it’s the best option? Not that caffeine hasn’t been shown to be somewhat effective, but how much should you give based on your child’s weight, how many hours will it last, and what to after your child ‘crashes’ and thereafter feels worse? Also, how often do we hear today of something being “healthy” only to hear otherwise tomorrow. Just the other day I read of a link between Omega III and prostate cancer. Say it ain’t so; Omega III, the wonder supplement that is known for all things good, may have some nefarious long-term effects? To add salt to the wound (no pun intended) and cause more confusion, there has been plenty of subsequent analysis suggesting that study, suggesting such a link, was flawed and the headline very misleading. In fact, there is a lot of research to suggest just the opposite; that Omega’s reduce the chance of cancer. Yes, research results can be very confusing and headlines can be quite over-blown. **What’s the real problem?** The big problem is that we often don’t have quality clinical studies to help us determine what type, and at what dose, to prescribe of any given supplement, especially for kids. Also, each brand may have different amounts and purities of any given active ingredient. Consequently, it tends to be somewhat of a crap-shoot. We also lack information about long-term side effects. Example: is there a long-term effect of melatonin? **Are the prescribed meds any better?** We have clinical studies helping to determine the efficacy of any given medication, at particular doses, for children and adults. We also tend to have an understanding of long-term effects. Example, we have over 50 years of research targeting Ritalin. Moreover, it’s abundantly clear that some prescribed medications are very effective; namely the medications to treat ADHD (something like 80% of ADHD children respond favorably in terms of symptom relief). Some depressed and anxious kiddos also respond very favorably to anti-depressants, and there are very effective medications to target mood stability and outbursts. Supplements sometimes have a pronounced positive effect, but more typically the effect is rather modest compared to their prescribed counterparts. ***But…*** Just like that Omega III study I mentioned earlier, the same holds true for prescribed meds. The research results can be contradictory and suspect. Studies are often carried out by the same pharmaceutical company who is later selling the medication, which can lead to, well, questionable favorable outcomes. Also, once you move past the ADHD meds, it can be hit-or-miss regarding how most kiddos are going to respond. Then there’s the whole other issue of meds being used off-label. **So what should you do?** It seems quite reasonable for parents to pursue natural options, but do so with guidance from a trained and experienced practitioner who has such a specialization. In that regard, certainty you wouldn’t consider giving your child medications without a doctor’s prescription; the same holds true for supplements and natural remedies. Locally, in that regard, I often refer to Dr. Faber of The Children’s Institute; Dr. Joe DiMatteo of the Medicine Shoppe; Dr. Suzanne DaSilva; and Dr. Phillip DeMio. If you have an interest in exploring prescribed medications, you won’t do better than Dr. Robert Lowenstein, M.D., Board Certified Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychiatrist right here at Community Psychiatric Centers. It’s best to not assume that because something is considered “natural” that it’s “better” than a prescribed alternative, or that it will necessarily be healthier. Get fully informed and utilize experts in the field. Hope you found this to be helpful. Please let me know your thoughts and experiences using supplements and natural options at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) ### Autism and Early Intervention; What Works and How Well? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/289-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:45.000Z Early intervention for autism is one of the most well-supported principles in developmental psychology. The earlier a child receives appropriate support, the better the outcomes across language, social, adaptive, and cognitive domains. Research consistently shows that intensive, evidence-based intervention during the preschool years can produce significant developmental gains, with some children making gains substantial enough to no longer meet diagnostic criteria. The mechanisms involve brain plasticity: young children's neural architecture is more responsive to targeted therapeutic input than older children's. ABA therapy, speech-language therapy, and occupational therapy are among the most evidence-supported early intervention approaches. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides early childhood evaluations and intervention services. Contact us to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### ADHD: Which Medication is Best? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-which-medication-is-best/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:13.000Z *Written by* Dr. Robert Lowenstein, M.D. **The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)** The AAP provides guidelines to pediatric specialists indicating that behavioral treatment should be tried first before prescribing medication and, when prescribing, methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) should be used first. However, the Cohen Children’s Medical Center in New York surveyed 3000 physicians and found that the majority of physicians use medication as a front-line option and that many do not start with methylphenidate. **Surprising?** It may be surprising to you that the AAP recommends that, after behavioral treatment, it’s best to begin with Ritalin/Concerta. Does any medication, among parents, have a worse reputation than Ritalin? However, the fact is that it’s been researched thoroughly since the 1930's, began being used by 1938, and has consistently been found to be very safe. Concerta is simply a longer-acting Ritalin. Adderall and Concerta are the two of the most commonly prescribed ADHD medications. Research suggests that both methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) and d-amphetaimine (Adderall) are essentially equally potentially effective but have differences in how they work and their potential side effects. There have also been concerns about d-amphetamine (Adderall) contributing to sudden death in children with a heart defect and, in fact, for quite some time an EKG was recommended before prescribing Adderall. However, subsequent research has largely alleviated this concern. In terms of what I prescribe first, rather than adhere to a fixed, rigid, and inflexible protocol, after completing a thorough evaluation and assessing the child’s unique history, symptoms, and needs, I prescribe what is in the best interest of the child. **Why not use behavioral first?** It’s my standard protocol to first ensure that behavioral interventions, including counseling and parent-training, are utilized first before prescribing medication. Some physicians may alter this approach due to lack of behavioral therapists in more rural areas, and their belief that the medication alone will be helpful. However, more often than not, a behavioral therapist is available and while medication is effective for 80% of children with ADHD, the behavioral interventions are vital and should be the foundation of the treatment process. **A quick review** Why don’t we take a moment to quickly review the more effective behavioral strategies for ADHD. *For starters:* **·** Keep the environment organized **·** Maintain a consistent routine **·** Use picture schedules and visual cues **·** Give direction clearly, succinctly, in short steps, and ask your child to repeat the direction **·** Remove distractions **·** Break-down chores, tasks, and homework into doable chunks **·** Remain calm and reassuring **·** Use brief punishments such as time-out, and explain the rules ahead of time **·** Use sticker charts to promote your child’s motivation I hope this helps to clarify questions about treatment options for ADHD. Feel free to contact me at cpwecare.com with any questions, or to schedule an evaluation. ### A Recipe for Ruining a Perfectly Good Kid | April 4, 2013 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-recipe-for-ruining-a-perfectly-good-kid-april-4-2013/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:14.000Z *Written by Dr. John Carosso* **The Essential Ingredients** \-**Start** with a fun-loving, intelligent, inquisitive child who wants nothing more than to please his or her parents. \-**Add-in** a demanding, critical parent. \-**Keep** adding the parental demands and expectations. \-**Add** only a pinch of some subdued praise, and praise only for the highest of achievements. \-**Add** a few hundred cups of ‘you should have done better’ no matter the accomplishment. \-**Add** a few hundred more cups of admonishment, even when the child achieves. \-**Add** modeling of a workaholic lifestyle, achievement at all cost, and no room or tolerance for failure. \-**Stir-in** a perspective that everything is a competition. \-If someone complains this combination of ingredients is bitter, add a rationalization that “it’s the only way my child is going to become somebody” and “they’ll thank me some day for this…” \-**Add** a dash or two of parent being emotionally detached, especially for any positive interactions. \-**Mix** these ingredients together for fifteen years, beginning at a very young age, and try to keep ingredients from boiling over (*won’t be easy*). **Viola** Just like that, you’ll serve-up a completely neurotic, anxious, panicked, overwhelmed teenager who must earn straight A’s or it’s ‘the end of the world’; not only has to be in every club and sport but must be the captain of the team and president of the club; and does not know how to relax or calm themselves. You’ll have a teenager who ends-up in my office, experiencing panic attacks, feeling depressed, having trouble with friends because everything is an Olympic-style competition, and feeling that no matter what they do, no matter how much they achieve, that it’s simply not good enough; a feeling that will haunt them their entire lives. If this sounds too familiar; if you think it’s time to change your order and put-out a new menu, contact me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) *God bless* ### Treating Anxiety and Obsessions: Nothing to Fear but Fear itself? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-anxiety-and-obsessions-nothing-to-fear-but-fear-itself/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:16.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Nothing to fear…?** Y’ know, Franklin Delano Roosevelt may have been on to something. You see, anxiety is considered to be based in fear and, more often than not, there really is nothing to fear but the fear itself. Anxiety can manifest in worry, obsession, irrational fears (phobias), compulsive behavior, school avoidance, fear of sleeping alone, and social withdrawal. Anxiety disorders can stand alone, but often accompany depression, autism, bipolar, and trauma. **Not sure I understand the ‘nothing to fear’ part?** Yea, I suppose that can be somewhat confusing. The idea is that anxiety is the great con artist; it cons people into believing that something is legitimately worrisome when it’s really not. Of course, sometimes we’re worried about real-life and legitimate issues, but far more often that’s not the case when it comes to phobias, OCD, and similar types of fears. Rather, I see children like the two I saw last week, washing their hands over and over for fear of germs, or checking locks before bed, over and over, for fear of being robbed despite living in a safe neighborhood, the doors clearly being locked, no history of being robbed, parents being dutiful and responsible, and having two big dogs in the home. Most fears of that nature are, by their very nature, irrational, silly, and nonsensical but, by the same token, profoundly troubling and bothersome. **Okay, so what’s the treatment** Like I said (okay, like F.D.R. said), there’s nothing to fear but fear itself; so, first we clearly identify the enemy. I often refer to anxiety as a ‘monster’ that whispers to the child any number of anxiety-provoking things. In treatment, we help the child to bolster their reasonable and rationale thinking to help them combat those anxiety-ridden thoughts. This is especially important because children (and adults too for that matter) who struggle with anxiety often have ill-equipped platoons to do battle. Meanwhile, the ‘monster’ is well supplied with an abundance of anxiety-provoking thoughts that can leave the child feeling overwhelmed. However, by the time we’re finished in treatment, the child’s army is fully prepared to counter those anxiety-provoking thoughts with self-soothing reminders that, for example, they’re safe, competent to problem-solve, and that whatever bad thing they think is going to happen, in reality, is extraordinarily unlikely to occur and not worth fussing about. **Anything else?** Yes, there is more. In some cases, it’s also vital to have the child actually be exposed to whatever scares them. This could include, for example, a spider, elevator, sleeping alone in their own bed, dirt (and not washing their hands right away), or whatever else. The exposure may be all-at-once, or gradual. At the same time, they are taught to use soothing self-talk to calm themselves and recognize that they’re going to be okay and that, really, there is nothing to fear. We also use deep breathing, imagery, reassurance, and ongoing parental support to ensure success. In those instances that the child is too overwhelmed with anxiety to allow for any exposure, there are medications that can be quite helpful. **Is this approach helpful?** Yes, it’s super helpful, with over 80% success rates. It’s used with phobias, OCD, generalized anxiety, isolated obsessions and worries, separation anxiety, fears of sleeping alone, social anxieties including public speaking, and frankly anything related to any anxiety or fear. If you’re interested in more technical terminology, the approach is referred to as exposure and response prevention. If you want more information about these techniques, email me at: [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) Also, don’t forget to follow me on facebook (drjohncarosso) and twitter (drcarosso) for daily tips, suggestions, and research. God bless. ### Teaching Moral Behavior, Tim McGraw-Style URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/teaching-moral-behavior-tim-mcgraw-style-february-15-2013/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:18.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Gotta like Tim McGraw** All of you Tim McGraw fans know his song, *Drugs or Jesus*, where he sings: *In my home town* *For anyone who sticks around* *You’re either lost or you’re found* *There’s not much in between* *In my home town* *Everything’s still black and white* *It’s a long way from wrong to right* *From Sunday morning to Saturday night* **Is it as simple as that?** Well, people in Tim’s home town seem to think so. **C’mon, isn’t that rigid and narrow-minded?** I suppose that’s up to you to decide. However, ask yourself; is morality synonymous with basic ‘truths’ or facts like math; or is it bendable according to our preferences, like whether today I prefer vanilla ice cream? **What’s better for our kids?** Children respond much better when presented with straight-forward ‘right and wrong’ morality. Gray is not good for morality, or our kids. There are plenty of research studies to support this notion, most recent out of the *Journal of Experimental Social Psychology*, conducted by researchers out of Boston College. They found that when approached with the idea of morality as fact, as opposed to being flexible, increased moral behavior followed. **But kids will do bad things anyway** Some may, but we underestimate the fortitude and will-power of kids and teens to resist ‘bad’ options. If presented, from a young age, with the notion that particular behaviors are simply ‘wrong’, and if provided with oversight to help them be strong, you’d be surprised how well they’ll do. Of course, it’s important for parents to demonstrate that same fortitude. **Well, I did that when I was a teenager, so how can I tell my teen not to do it?** I imagine we’ve all done things that were mistakes and ‘wrong’, especially when we were younger. Now that we know better, do we want our kids repeating our past mistakes? **But who decides what’s right and wrong?** Yes, that is the 64,000-dollar question, isn’t it? Children pick-up quite early that relying on our own judgment opens the question; 'who says you’re right and I’m wrong'? It also opens the door to the ‘might makes right’ quandary. However, children seem to intuitively acknowledge and accept the logic and rationale that what’s ‘right and wrong’ is best left to the auspices of someone higher and wiser than mere humans. **Is that all?** Yea, pretty much; morality and wisdom have a simplicity that is very appealing and stark, like Tim’ McGraw’s lyric, “it’s a long way from wrong to right”. So now, as Dr. Laura used to say, *go do the right thing.* *God Bless* ### Can Children Lose An Autism Diagnosis? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/can-children-lose-an-autism-diagnosis/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:47.000Z It's one of the most hopeful, and most complicated, questions in autism: can a child lose their diagnosis? The research says yes, in some cases. A subset of children who receive early, intensive intervention make gains significant enough that they no longer meet diagnostic criteria for autism as they get older. This is more common with early diagnosis and intensive early intervention, and it does not mean the child was misdiagnosed originally, it reflects genuine developmental change driven by appropriate treatment. However, this outcome is the exception rather than the rule, and it should never be positioned as the standard goal of treatment. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh focuses on maximizing each child's individual potential. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us for more information. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Reduce Your Child's Hitting, Biting, and Shoving URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/reduce-your-childs-hitting-biting-and-shoving/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:20.000Z *Written by* Dr. John Carosso **Get them talking, not hitting** When hearing of toddlers and preschoolers becoming aggressive, the first question I ask is usually related to language; how well can the child communicate his or her frustration? It stands to reason that a child who has difficulty ‘using his words’ is more prone to hit or shove. **Recent Research** A new longitudinal study out of Pennsylvania State University found that children who had better language skills as toddlers expressed less anger by age 4; and were better-able to occupy themselves. **So what?** Treatment focus for aggressive toddlers and preschoolers needs to focus on improving communication skills. If your child is struggling with language and at times is also aggressive, ramp-up the speech/language sessions to both Private and County-based. Also, work with your behavioral–health staff at Community Psychiatric to utilize reminders, visual prompts, picture-cues, short-phrases, visual schedules, and star charts to facilitate communication and subsequent problem-solving. We've consistently seen excellent response to such an approach. **Don't hesitate to ask for help** Email me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) or call the office at **1-877-899-6500**. Also, for daily tips and suggestions, follow me on **Facebook** and **Twitter**!! *God bless.* ### My Child Won’t Go To Sleep!!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/my-child-wont-go-to-sleep/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:22.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso **New Years Tradition** It’s a time-honored tradition to stay awake on New Year’s Eve to welcome the new year. However, now that New Years is over, it’s time to get our kids to sleep on-time, and ensure they stay asleep. **A Common Problem** Wish getting to sleep were that easy. Sleep issues are amazingly common for kiddo’s and adults alike; upwards of **40 million struggle** with poor sleep, and it’s especially common for children with autism. The cause is often unknown; we often simply don’t know why some children can’t get to sleep, or stay asleep. Of course, at times we can pin-point triggers such as too much stimulation at bedtime, various anxieties, napping during the day, some children fighting sleep, or low melatonin levels. However, often the reason evades us. **The unlikely culprit, especially for kids** Sleep apnea affects upwards of 18 million people; mostly overweight men. In fact, we often associate sleep apnea with obesity. However, most people don’t know sleep disordered breathing is relatively common in children, and it has nothing to do with their weight. For example, in a recent study published in the European Journal of Pediatrics, it was found that upwards of **10%** of all six year-olds have sleep-disordered breathing due to enlarged tonsils, crossbite, and convex facial profile. **Symptoms** Signs of disordered breathing range between mild snoring to obstructive sleep apnea syndrome. Interestingly, these difficulties can impact day-time behavior and contribute to hyperactivity, behavioral and learning problems, and compromised growth. **Get it checked-out** *So, what’s the bottom line?* If your child is having trouble with sleep, definitely have him or her checked for any facial, bite, or throat-related problems. Once that’s ruled out, then you can pursue behavioral strategies and/or over-the-counter remedies. **Pleasant dreams, and Happy New Year!!** ### Autism and Violent Crimes: Let’s Look at the Numbers URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-and-violent-crimes-lets-look-at-the-numbers/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:24.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Recent events and speculation** The recent events in Connecticut are abhorrent and troubling beyond words. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the parents, families, and all those affected. This incident is also raising speculation and fears that people with autism, or more specifically Asperger’s Disorder, are more likely to be considered dangerous or violent. Of course, we don't know the condition or diagnosis of the perpetrator; nevertheless, let’s begin now to squelch such foolish speculation. **Is it true that people with autism are more prone toward violent crime?** *Short answer:* **NO** **Let’s spell it out** A number of researchers including Hippler et al (2009) have found that rates of violent crime committed by individuals with Autism and Asperger’s Disorder is quite comparable to the population at large, i.e. 1.30% compared to 1.25% of the male population, respectively. Moreover, the bulk of the “violent” crimes committed by those with Autism were related to property offenses. Violence against people was found to be exceedingly rare. **Hippler points out, for example:** *“…in the case records spanning 22 years and 33 convictions, there were only three cases of bodily injury, one case of robbery and one case of violent and threatening behavior.”* The researchers have also found that the more severe the autism, the less likely to commit a violent crime. **Who hurts who?** Given the inherent communication and social deficits, individuals with autism may be more prone to shout-out or shove others in frustration, but violence with intent to harm is very rare. In fact, it’s abundantly clear that people with autism are far more likely to be the victim of various forms of crime, abuse, bullying, and mistreatment than they would ever perpetrate on others. **Let’s Wait for Facts** We’ll see how this story unfolds. Either way, it’s obvious the Connecticut perpetrator was extraordinarily disturbed; in no way should we cast aspersions on an entire group of individuals based on happenstance. Now, please help others to understand that people with autism need our support and compassion; in no way are they to be feared, maligned, or stereotyped. ### Our Christmas Gift: The Wonderful Counselor | December 10, 2012 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/our-christmas-gift-the-wonderful-counselor-december-10-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:26.000Z *Written by: Dr. John Carosso* **What I’m expected to do…** As a psychologist, I’m expected to talk about traditional and clinically-relevant approaches to help kids, and parents, work through difficulties. This of course would include helping people to think in more reasonable ways (cognitive therapy), behave in ways that are productive and healthy (behavioral approaches), be emphatic (Rogerian techniques), stay in-the-moment (Gestalt), incorporate the family (systems approach), and use praise in systematic ways (Applied Behavioral Analysis). **Is there more?** Well, yes there is. I’m usually not expected to discuss spiritual options but, in some cases, it’s like watching somebody drown and tossing a small life preserver when I have ready access to a large life-boat. Don’t get me wrong, the life-preserver is effective but, well, wouldn’t you rather be in a boat? **Seems only fitting** During this Christmas season, it seems fitting to offer a reminder that God gave His Son not only to rescue us from sin, but also to rescue us from ourselves and, in the process, heal us, soothe us, and relieve us during our times of stress, burden, and strife. Think about it, in Scripture, He’s referred to as our **Advocate, the Almighty, All in All, Breath of Life, Comforter, Counselor, Cornerstone, Creator, God Who Sees Me, Goodness, Guide, Hiding Place, Hope, Intercessor, Keeper, Leader, Life, Light of the World, Living Water, Loving Kindness, Maker, Mediator, Our Peace, Physician, Portion, Potter, Teacher, Refuge, Rewarder, Rock, Servant, Shade, Shield, Song, Stone, Stronghold, Strength, Strong Tower, Truth, Wisdom, and Wonderful** to cite just a few of His names. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell us something about turning to Him for help? **Tap into the Source** Those strategies I cited above (cognitive-behavioral…) are undoubtedly worthwhile and helpful. God gives people like me lots of ways to help and give relief (not to mention that most of those strategies have a basis in Scripture). However, there is something quite powerful and life-changing about tapping directly into the Source (another one of His names, by the way). Give it a try, what have you got to lose? May God deeply bless you and yours during this Christmas season. I’d love to hear your comments at: [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) ### Demystifying ‘Pica’ URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/demystifying-pica-november-28-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:28.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **First, what is it, and what’s with the name?** Pica is an unusual compulsion to eat nonfood items. It goes beyond ‘mouthing’ objects to actually swallowing; most common items include dirt, clay, paint chips, chalk, baking soda, feces, hair, glue, toothpaste , and soap. However, the list of potential items is endless. The condition most often occurs in two to three year old children with developmental delays, autism, people with epilepsy, pregnant women, and those with brain injuries. The condition must persist for more than a month to be diagnosable. The name is Latin from the Magpie, that bird with an indiscriminate appetite. **What causes it?** Some suggest that the child or individual is attempting to compensate for lacking minerals, but this is inconclusive and, besides, the ingested substance does not always contain that lacking mineral. The condition may also carry-over from the developmentally appropriate tendency to mouth objects. There are also secondary gains that may sustain the behavior (attention-seeking or avoidance of an unfavored task) but these likely do not originally cause the disorder but can be helpful to consider in treatment. Pica is also being considered as a complexity within the spectrum of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and there are also sensory factors that have been implicated. Moreover, ingesting nonfood items is also a cultural practice in some regions. **Is it common?** Yes, it’s surprisingly common. Among mentally and developmentally disabled people, especially those ages 10 to 20, pica is the most common eating disorder and is found in 20 percent of children treated at mental health clinics. Between ages one and six, this non-food craving disorder can be found at rates of 10-20%. The exact rate for children with autism is unclear but studies of mentally challenged adults found rates of upwards of 25%. In developing countries, the rates can be as high as 74% for pregnant women. The condition dates back to Roman times but was not clinically chronicled till 1563. **What do we do about it?** The treatment depends on whatever identifiable cause can be ascertained. We first screen for any mineral deficiencies and accommodate accordingly. Treatment protocols also assess for any toxic levels. Behavioral interventions are considered through principles of applied behavioral analysis (ABA) to determine triggers and anything potentially reinforcing. For example, if the behavior is sustained via the inadvertent provision of extra attention, or by enabling avoidance a non-preferred task, we treat by providing minimal attention and ensuring that the child cannot avoid the task. The youngster is also highly reinforced for appropriate food choices, and sensory issues are targeted by finding similar oral-sensory options. A “Pica Box” can also be helpful: a container of edible items for the child to mouth. Of course, during this process, close physical monitoring is vital to redirect the behavior. Various medications can be helpful, especially if the condition has an anxiety-related (OCDish) undertone. Aversive techniques have been used in more extreme situations but this obviously is absolute last resort. **Outcome?** Pica tends to wax and wane in severity, and subside as the child ages. However, once the condition surfaces, there is an increased chance it will resurface again later. Nevertheless, I’ve seen quite positive outcomes with behavioral approaches; keeping the condition in check and quite contained, if not extinguished entirely. I hope that helps to understand the basics of Pica. By all means, **contact me at** [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) with any questions or thoughts on the matter. *God bless.* ### ADHD: A sprint to better grades!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-a-sprint-to-better-grades/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:30.000Z *Written by Dr. Carosso* **Traditional approaches, for better or worse** You all know the traditional approaches to helping kids with ADHD. Children are often prescribed medication, and a number of behavioral approaches are used in the classroom including sitting away from distractions, near the teacher, calling on these children more often, and using sticker charts for success in completing assignments. These approaches have varying success rates; sometimes the distractions are too tempting, and some kiddos can’t tolerate medication. **A ‘stationary disorder’** For lack of a better description, ADHD can be considered a stationary disorder; the child has a very hard time remaining stationary. They have an overwhelming compulsion to move, fidget, look around the room, and get out of their seat. **If you can’t beat’em, join’em** We spend so much time trying to keep our ADHD kids stationary that we end up, as someone very important once said, ‘kicking against the goads’ (your quiz for the week is figuring out who said that). Anyway, why fight it; if your child wants to move then, by all means, let’em move. **A recent study** At Michigan State (study published in Journal of Pediatrics), they found kids functioned significantly better on an lengthy academic task after 20 minutes of running around like a, well, running around a lot; compared to those who did not. They focused better and, if they made a mistake, were better-able to slow themselves to avoid making another error. By the way, there has been prior research suggesting that brisk activity in green space was even more calming. **Why not at home too?** Why not use this approach in brief stints throughout the day to help your child persevere through school, homework, before a trip to the store or church, and in any endeavor that requires sustained attention, self-control, and being stationary. Otherwise, you can keep kicking against the goads, which will make both you and your kiddo quite frustrated. This approach should be incorporated into the school day (and for goodness sake, never have an ADHD child lose recess as punishment) and ensure the child is actually running vigorously rather than standing around playing video games or talking. You may want to get on your running shoes as well. We need more research to specify the necessary length of the activity; the research subjects were active for 20 minutes, but I’ve seen success at 8-10 minutes. **Give it a try** Let me know about your positive outcomes and how you’ve adapted this technique to make it more practical. I can be reached at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). Okay, let the running begin. ### Epi-Pen: Save a Life (you need to read this) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/epi-pen-save-a-life-you-need-to-read-this/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:31.000Z **The Sting** Not too long ago I was stung by a hornet. Not a pleasant experience by any means, but it’s not like I haven’t been stung before so didn’t think it would be much more than an annoyance. **All stings not created equal** Well, as it turns out, the first sting, possibly years earlier, may only result in a minor reaction but it can sensitize a person for major reaction the next time. Also, of course, there a bunch of different types of bees (upwards of 4 different types of hornets in this area, wasps, and regular old honey bees). Turns out I’m not allergic to honeybees, but big-time to all the rest of them. Who knew? **What happened??** Only seconds after the sting, I was bright red, burning-up, and super itchy. About two minutes later, I went into anaphylactic shock and fell unconscious. Actually, I apparently came-to (don’t remember a thing) but again passed-out, fell down once more, causing further injury and whatnot. **How did it end-up?** By the grace of God, Frances, my wife, was present and she understood what was happening, alerted our quick-acting neighbor, Mr. John Sarneso, who just happened to be available with an epi-pen. Otherwise, I probably would not be writing this now. Within seconds after the shot, I started to come to my senses and become coherent. It took a few more hours in the hospital to finally feel somewhat okay; but I didn’t get back to work till 48 hours later. **An ounce of prevention…** These days, I don’t go too far without an epi-pen, which is available from your local allergist, PCP, or pediatrician. I got mine from my dear friend and allergist, Dr. Pierre Dauby, M.D.,FAAAAI who is an excellent doctor and also works great with kiddos. Dr. Dauby is with UMPC Greensburg Allergy Associates (724-837-4070). He also provided more specific allergy testing and will soon begin my desensitization regimen so that, in a few months, I’ll have a minimal reaction to a bee sting. **What about you and your kids?** I am now on an epi-pen crusade. No home should be without one. You never know whether a direct family member, neighbor, relative, visitor, or whomever is suddenly going to have a horrible reaction to a sting (or peanuts, tree nuts, diary, various medications…) and you’ll be helpless without an epi-pen. They come in two different doses based on weight: below and above 60 pounds. **Another tip** I’m no paramedic, but apparently it’s best to NOT sit-up the person; rather, keep them down and elevate their feet. This way, the blood is more likely to remain available for the heart and brain. Otherwise, well, the opposite is true, which is not a good thing. **This isn’t a typical post**? True, this post is not about autism or childhood behavioral health, which is uncommon for me. However, there are few issues that are so potentially fatal while, at the same time, so easily preventable. Keeping you, your family, and your child safe is of primary importance, which is why I wrote this post. Moreover, most people are completely ignorant (as was I) about the utility of epi-pens. **Some shout-outs!!** Want to take this opportunity to again thank John for his quick-acting and unflinching jab with that epi-pen, in spite of my incoherent attempts at pushing him away. Thanks again to Dr. Dauby who hopefully will make me immune to those little stinging gremlins, and also a big thanks to my neighbor, Dr. Emmanuel Frempong-Manso, M.D. who made a special trip to the hospital after a long day, got everything in-line, and got me out of there in a timely manner. Thanks again to all and, of course, thanks to God for deciding to keep me around for at least a little while longer. **Comments and share your story** Okay, that’s my drama and hopefully never to have another. I’d love to hear your stories, comments, and feedback about this issue. Feel free to email me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) God bless and stay safe. Dr. John Carosso ### Autism: Melatonin Update URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-melatonin-update/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:33.000Z **Marvelous Melatonin** | September 11, 2012 It seems that melatonin is becoming increasingly popular as a sleep aide. This trend stands to reason, given the anecdotal and research-based evidence that it’s effective and safe. **Drawbacks?** It would seem intuitive that it’s always best to first try behavioral approaches and more “natural approaches”. Not that melatonin isn’t “natural” (it’s a hormone that naturally exists in our bodies), but artificially increasing the levels of melatonin in our body may be something not considered the best ‘first-option.’ **When melatonin is something to be considered** Consider melatonin only when all other options have been attempted, under the guidance of a sleep specialist, pediatrician, psychiatrist, or dietitian. Melatonin is more regularly used with children who have developmental issues, as opposed to typical children. In that regard, the former kiddo’s tend to have more problems producing optimal levels of melatonin on their own. **Other options?** I’ve written in earlier posts about any number of strategies to help induce sleep in children, and naturally raise melatonin levels. These include lots of activity during the day; ample exposure to natural sunlight, turning-down the lights, noise, and stimuli as the evening approaches and throughout the night; turning-off the computer and TV two hours before bedtime, no light in the bedroom (I know, some kids rely on a nightlight, but there is an alternative – see below), and a consistent bedtime routine. **One more thing: Blue-Blocking Glasses and Bulbs** There is increasing evidence regarding the benefits of Blue-Blocking Glasses to improve sleep. These glasses block blue rays, which apparently helps to increase melatonin levels (blue rays inhibit production of melatonin). They are worn two hours before bedtime. There is also some evidence suggesting that blocking blue-rays also helps with ADHD, avoiding post-partum depression, and seasonal affective disorder. An alternative to the glasses is night-lights and bulbs that have a coating that block blue light. Oh, by the way, in terms of the glasses or bulbs improving ADHD symptoms, it has been found that improving the sleep-wake cycle benefits attention to task and impulse control, which sort of makes sense. Okay, hope this helps; pleasant dreams. I’d love to hear your feedback regarding sleep issues and what has helped: [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) ### Getting Back to School: Autism and Beyond URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-back-to-school-autism-and-beyond-august-18-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:35.000Z *Written by Dr. Carosso* **Yes, it’s that time** It’s that ‘back to school’ time. Yes, it’s sad to see the summer coming to a close but definitely time to get back to the school routine. **Summer vs School Routine** Need I mention the difference between summer and school-year routines? If you start about 2-3 weeks out, it’s much easier to ship your kids into shape. Otherwise, it’s a culture-shock for your child, and not too pleasant for you either. **What to do (tips for parents of children with autism, and typical kiddos) :** 1\. Begin slowly adjusting routines for earlier bedtime. 2\. Incorporate lengthier study and quiet-reading sessions throughout the day and week. This could include anything even remotely academic. 3\. Visit the school playground more frequently to promote your child becoming more comfortable with being at school, and on the school grounds. 4\. Arrange play-dates with school friends/acquaintances not seen for most of the summer, especially those kids who will be in your child’s class or grade. 5\. If you can arrange a visit to the classroom, and meet the teacher, so much the better. 6\. It can be helpful to color-code school supplies (notebooks, file-folders…). Integrate material-color with picture schedule. 7\. Purchase school clothes early, wash them a few times, cut-off tags, and make sure your child is comfortable with them well in advance. 8\. Pick-out a “cool” outfit for the first day and get a fresh haircut (first impressions are important). 9\. Use picture schedules and social stories to prepare for the first day. 10\. Prepare school with emergency contacts and any dietary issues. 11\. Prepare the teacher, aide, Guidance Counselor, ‘specials’ teachers, cafeteria workers, and anybody else who will listen for what to expect, and how to effectively intervene if necessary. 12\. Don’t forget to say a prayer with your kids before they venture off to school; they find that comforting and reassuring. 13\. Autism-Speaks also has some nice back-to-school bulletins (I especially like the ‘about me’ activity): [http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time](http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/back-school-its-transition-time?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) If you have any other tips, please comment; it’ll be appreciated. Comment at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). God bless and enjoy the rest of the summer! ### Can the Disney Channel Cause Depression? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/can-the-disney-channel-cause-depression/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:37.000Z **Is Your favorite Show Harmful?** Do you watch re-runs of your favorite show, or do your kids enjoy the Disney Channel. Seems pretty harmless, right? Well, maybe not so much. **The TV Blues** Does watching TV cause depression? Well, the poor quality of television programming may, in fact, be quite depressing, but a team of neuropsychologists at Ohio State University Medical Center studied the effects of falling asleep while watching television. More specifically, the effect of sleeping in dim light as opposed to total darkness. The results weren’t good. **When It’s Best To Stay ‘In The Dark’** The researchers, studying mice, found that the little critters were far less happy when exposed to dim light while sleeping. How does one measure mice sadness (or happiness for that matter)? Well, apparently unhappy mice are less active and show little interest in activities they had found to be fun (bothering humans and enticing cats?). Anyway, the little mice got back their mojo when the dim light was removed, suggesting that this condition is reversible. **Anything Else?** Yes, there’s more. Check-out my prior post about sleep disorders. Over a year ago I wrote about how ‘garbage-light’ (from light-bulbs as opposed to the sun) in our civilized world has messed-up our sleep and our mood. Rather than sleep being a slow process, as the sun slowly sets in the sky; sleep is now a sudden event. We turn off the TV (computer or whatever), and expect to immediately ‘turn off’ ourselves and go to sleep. For many, that ain’t so easy. **What’s More…** Even worse, we often don’t turn off the TV or computer. We’ve grown accustomed to sleeping with the TV on, as have our kids. We’ve known for years that even super-dim light (eg. light from a digital alarm clock) can interfere with REM sleep; now we have reason to believe it can also impact our mood (no real surprise). **What To Do?** Fortunately, this is an easy fix. Don’t have to go to be a rocket scientist to know to off the TV, and any light source, when going to bed. Even better, turn down lights as the evening and bedtime approach, making a calm and soothing transition to lullaby-land. This will improve you and your kid’s sleep and how you feel the next day. If you’re prone to depression, or your kids are prone to irritability, this is especially important. Try it now; it only took two weeks, sleeping in darkness, for the little mice to smile again. Don’t you want to see more smiles in your home? **Sleep tight.** Let me know what you think: [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) ### Autism: Do Teenage Social-Skill Groups Work? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-do-teenage-social-skill-groups-work-july-19-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:48.000Z Social skills groups for autistic teenagers have a mixed evidence base, and that nuance is worth understanding. The research shows that structured, manualized programs (such as PEERS) produce measurable improvements in social knowledge and some gains in real-world social engagement. However, generalization, translating skills learned in a group setting to naturalistic peer relationships, remains challenging and requires intentional support beyond the group itself. Effectiveness also depends heavily on program quality, facilitator skill, and the specific goals of each participant. For teenagers, motivation and buy-in matter enormously. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh evaluates social skill needs individually and can recommend appropriate programming. Contact ACP to discuss options for your teen. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Lying: Turn off your kid’s brain URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/lying-turn-off-your-kids-brain-june-11-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:38.000Z **To lie or not to lie** Okay, I’ll set the stage. Harvard researchers used an MRI to assess people’s brain wave functioning comparing those who lied vs. those who did not lie when asked a particular question. **What’d they find?** Those who lied tended to have significantly elevated brain wave activity in the prefrontal cortex (PFC) of the brain, which suggests that the “liars” were involved in quite a bit of mental wrangling before making the decision to lie. However, a portion of the ‘truth-tellers’ had minimal PFC brain wave activity. **So what?** It would appear that those who lied put ample thought into how to handle the situation, and ultimately chose to lie. In contrast, those who told the truth often did not think much about it; they simply told the truth. It was not hard for them to make the decision; they apparently acted on moral principle. For them, there wasn't much to think about. **How do we get our kid’s brain to turn off?** Wouldn't it be nice if our kiddos don't think much about doing right or wrong but, instead, they simply, easily, quickly, and handily choose to do what’s right even if it’s not entirely convenient at the time? How do we instill this sense of moral strength and conviction in our children? Here are some ideas: 1\. Model honesty daily for your children. If they frequently see you telling ‘little white lies’ then you can bet those PFC neurons will be firing big-time when they’re tempted to lie. Remember the old saying, ‘what you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say’. 2\. Speak to your child about the complications of lying. More importantly, make sure they do not get away with lying and face natural consequences. 3\. Get your child church or synagogue-involved, or wherever you may attend. Children have a natural faith in God; fostering their faith will strengthen convictions, inner strength, and a desire to ‘what’s right.’ Suppose that’s true for us adults as well. **The coma-club** During times of temptation, I want my PFC to be coma-like. In fact, I want that too for my kids (my wife is perfect already); which translates into having the moral conviction to simply, easily, quickly, and handily choose to do what’s right, even if it’s not entirely convenient at the time. How about you? Let’s start today. Feel free to question or comment at [jecarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jecarosso@cpcwecare.com). *God bless.* ### Check-out Dr. C's Morning Minute Videos | June 1, 2012 URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/check-out-dr-cs-morning-minute-videos-june-6-2012/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:40.000Z **Check-out Dr. C's Morning Minute** at [AutismCenterofPittsburgh.com](http://www.autismcenterofpittsburgh.com/dr-c-morning-minutes/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) where you'll find information-packed minute-long video-posts covering topics such as: \-Autism and ADHD \-Autism and OCD \-Autism and Antidepressants \-Deciphering Research Findings \-Autism and Applied Behavioral Analysis \-Autism and Discrete Trial Therapy *and more to follow.* **Feel free to request a topic of your choice** at [DoctorC@AutismCenterofPittsburgh.com](mailto:DoctorC@AutismCenterofPittsburgh.com) or at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). See you there. Dr. John Carosso ### Self-Stimulatory Behavior: Anti-Depressants and Beyond URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/self-stimulatory-behavior-anti-depressants-and-beyond/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:41.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **It’s only been a week:** It’s been barely a week since my last post about the difficulty deciphering research findings given the bias in the reporting. In that respect, you may already have heard the findings of a recent meta-analysis, regarding the effect of anti-depressants on self-stimulatory behavior, suggesting that studies reporting positive results were more likely to be published than those with negative or neutral results. **The Bane of Bias:** This type of misrepresentation is destructive for many reasons; including that it may dissuade parents from considering such medication even when their child is struggling significantly with self-stimulatory behaviors (hand-flapping, rocking, obsessing…). These findings only result in more confusion and cynicism, which is especially troubling given the evidence that these medications can have a positive impact on certain types of “stims.” I work as a Licensed Child Psychologist, not a psychiatrist, but I have seen countless kiddos benefiting greatly from an antidepressant. However, I have found such benefit more-so for obsessive tendencies, compulsive behaviors, and rumination rather than stims such as hand-flapping or rocking. In any case, it’s vital to consult with your child’s psychiatrist or pediatrician to thoroughly discuss the pro’s and con’s. **Behavioral interventions for “stims”:** Check out my prior post, “De-Stimulating those Stims” for a full description of how to use a litany of behavioral interventions to target those troublesome behaviors. **Speaking of depression:** Talk with your child’s psychiatrist, pediatrician, or DAN doctor about the natural supplement, SAMe (S-Adenosyl Methionine) for the treatment of depression. The recent studies, which appear to be well-done with valid results, have been exceedingly positive with a quick reaction time and few side effects. **Diet and ADHD:** Researchers from the University of Copenhagen just completed an extensive report reviewing the potential benefits of dietary modifications in the treatment of ADHD. The report suggests that any number of dietary changes have produced positive results, such as increasing fatty acids, as well as elimination diets (removing red dye). Okay, like we did didn’t already know this? In any case, the reports also highlights that more research is needed due to some contradictory findings (kinda already knew that too). Nevertheless, given that such dietary approaches are benign if not beneficial, experimentation would appear worthwhile. Professionally, I’ve seen a hundreds of children benefit; talk to a dietitian or DAN doctor in that regard. **More about Depression** There is evidence to suggest that a new computer game is beneficial for treating adolescent depression. The program, called “SPARX”, is interactive, 3-D, and involves the teen taking on various challenges that ultimately attack the child's “Gloomy Negative Automatic Thoughts.” I don’t know if the program works, but clearly the underlying strategy is vitally important; I tell parents all the time about how to help their kids to view the world in a more positive way. The classic book “Feeling Good”, by Dr. David Burns, is a good read in that regard. **Sum it up** 1\. Don’t be afraid to talk to your child’s doctor about any troublesome self-stimulatory behavior, especially if obsessive in nature. 2\. Do some research on SAMe 3\. Go to cpcwecare.com, to our Parent Resource section, and find the dietary guide, which can be very helpful regarding ADHD. 4\. Attack negative self-talk that contributes to depression. *I think that sums it up. Please comment about your experiences. God bless you.* ### Research Findings: Should we Trust Them? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/research-findings-should-we-trust-them/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:43.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso To Believe or not to Believe? We are deluged daily with research findings concerning everything from A-Z. The findings often come from prestigious journals and universities and from people with lots of letters after their names. However, can we trust the findings? The Short Answer No, we can’t. The Long Answer Oh, you’re looking for some elaboration. Well, there are problems on so many levels it’s tough to decide where to begin. If, by the grace of God, the research study actually used a sufficient sample size, an adequate research design, stringent statistical methods, and has been replicated (all of which not uncommonly is not the case), the subsequent headline touting the findings still may be misleading. Examples? You’d hurt your back picking-up all the articles and books chronicling flawed research. The less strenuous approach of any quick Google-search will demonstrate myriad studies targeting everything from vaccinations and autism, vitamin D and cancer, anti-depressants and depression/autism, climate-change analysis and global cooling from the 1970’s (remember being told we were all going to freeze to death?) and caffeine and Alzheimer’s that have proven inaccurate and/or misleading. Moreover, it seems that the more money and politics involved, the more invalid the research finding. Recent investigation into this matter, from UCLA and Harvard, found that, for example, between 27% and 37% of the studies of various medications utilized outcome measures that were misleading. For example, the finding that a medication may prevent heart disease by 50% but also increases cancer deaths by the same percentage (guess with statistic was touted); or that a medication reduces risk of heart attack by 50% when, stated another way, the medication lowers risk from two-in-a-million to one-in-one-million (again, guess which statistic was head-lined). Speaking of Media Hype I subscribe to a number of listserv journal outlets that email well over a hundred research headlines per week in the mental health and medical arena. I’ve found many of the headlines misleading. Those same misleading headlines are touted all over the news media. When I’ve looked past the headlines to read the actual research article, almost always there are vital distinctions and discrepancies that are not included in the headline and neglected in the subsequent news article. Example: recent finding that mothers with diabetes are more likely to have a child with autism. The media often excluded the lack of statistical significance of that finding. I could provide countless examples of headlines that completely missed the boat. What to do? The following might help: • Don’t rely on headlines; rather, read the actual research article (most are easy to find on-line). • Look to see if it’s a one-time finding, or replicated. • On a more technical level, you want to see large sample sizes, control groups, and randomized and double-blind assignment to groups. • I don’t want to sound conspiratorial, but also consider the source of the research and remember that money and politics can be a corrupting influence. A healthy Skepticism There’s a difference between being cynical and skeptical; try for the latter. Don’t get lazy and don’t get caught-up in the hype. Despite concerns, there are quality research findings that help immensely in our understanding of disorders and best-practices in treatment; you just have to look hard for them. Please share your comments; I’d love to hear your opinion. God bless you in your quest for the truth. ### Autism: Squirt in the face for misbehavior? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-squirt-in-the-face-for-misbehavior/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:45.000Z This post addresses a controversial behavioral intervention: using a squirt of water to interrupt misbehavior in autistic children. The article examines whether aversive techniques like this have any place in modern autism treatment. The clinical consensus today is clear: punishment-based and aversive interventions are not consistent with evidence-based, ethical autism care. Modern ABA and behavioral support frameworks focus on positive reinforcement, functional assessment of behavior, and teaching replacement behaviors rather than suppressing unwanted behaviors through discomfort. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh practices positive behavior support grounded in the science of ABA. If you have questions about appropriate behavioral interventions for your child, contact our team, we're glad to help. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Helping Children deal with loss, tragedy, and fears URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/helping-children-deal-with-loss-tragedy-and-fears/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:47.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso Tragedy happens: what can we say? Whether it’s a school shooting, car crash, natural disaster, or a natural death of a loved one, we must regularly face the pain of tragedy and loss. I am often asked by parents how they can relieve the pain and fear experienced by their child. That’s a tough question; there is no way to completely alleviate pain, worry, and suffering from this life, but there are ways to help. Here it goes. Time heals all wounds? It may be true that time heals, but there are ways to help and speed-along the healing process, increase resiliency, and put things into perspective to promote acceptance of hardships. It makes a difference if a child is fearful of a tragedy they see on TV, or if they are directly experiencing the event. We’ll touch on both here in this post. Worriers I often work with kiddos who struggle with “what if’s” and fears that the worst will occur (someone will break into the house, a tornado will strike, the house will burn down, Mom or Dad will die…) and usually these fears are exacerbated by some recent tragedy witnessed on TV. Children who have a history of worry and anxiety are obviously more vulnerable to such fears (may be best to turn-off the TV). Bolster the ‘Truth’ Army We use the ‘truth’ to manage this problem; plain and simple. We’re honest with kids that bad things happen at times, and that there could be a robbery, or a tornado, or fire. However, the truth of the matter is that the likelihood is, generally speaking, remote. Other reassurances include that Mom and Dad are sleeping right down the hall, they are both healthy and show no signs of illness, we have an alarm and locks on the doors, there has not been a tornado around here in the past 50 years, we live in a relatively safe neighborhood, we’ve never been robbed (given these things are true)… During the countess encounters I’ve had with worrying kiddos, I’ve often found them to be ill-prepared to counter worries with such truthful and reassuring thoughts. So, we need to bolster the ‘army’ of reassuring self-talk through reminders, postings on the wall, and journaling, all of which invariably has a calming effect. What else is there? Children are remarkably perceptive to life events and realities. On many occasions young children have explained to me a recognition, on varying levels, that life is difficult and loss is to be expected, and there must be something more. To help children deal with loss, clinically, we’ve found that children experiencing loss need lots of extra attention, empathy, reassurance that their needs will be met, ongoing consistency and predictability in their environment (to the extent possible), patience, extra love, and adults who are emotionally strong and ‘keeping it together’. From a spiritual perspective, I have found the Judeo-Christian perspective quite helpful, which explains, in no uncertain terms: we live in a fallen world where bad things happen; we try to make the world a better place by showing God’s love; this world is not where we belong, this is not our home – we’re just passing through on our way to a better place; we will go through bad times; God will help us through the bad times; we all will die someday; and we have hope of all meeting together again in Heaven. This reality does not take away the pain, but helps kids (and adults) to recognize the realities of life, and squelch the destructive mentality of “why me” or “why did this happen”. What not to say? I’ve read that we should not tell kids who have experienced a loss of a loved one that, for example, “Grandpap is in a better place.” Well, I’m not sure we shouldn’t say that. It depends on lots of factors, but I think that we all take comfort believing our deceased loved ones are in a “better place” awaiting our arrival. This has been helpful for me, how about you? Of course, we also need to provide the reassurance I suggested above, both in what we do and say. People deal with loss in different ways; the goal is that we demonstrate resiliency, after a time of mourning, by ‘keeping on’ with life and finding joy where you can. Now what? There are no magic words to help a person heal. It’s a matter of listening, empathizing, at times being quiet and ‘just being there’, providing comfort and affection, and reminding that you’ll all be working together to move on with life, no matter how hard it may seem at the time. I hope you found this to be somewhat helpful. I’d love to hear what has worked for you in managing your child’s fears or loss. Feel free to Comment here, or email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com. God bless you. ### Autism: When is it good to talk to yourself? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-when-is-it-good-to-talk-to-yourself/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:50.000Z Self-directed speech, or talking to oneself is a behavior that appears frequently in autistic individuals and is often misunderstood by parents and educators. In many cases, self-talk serves a genuine cognitive function: it helps regulate behavior, work through problems, rehearse social situations, or process sensory and emotional experiences. Rather than a symptom to be eliminated, self-directed speech in autism is often a functional coping strategy. The clinical question is one of context: when does self-talk support the child's functioning, and when does it interfere with learning or social inclusion? Autism Centers of Pittsburgh takes a functional, individualized approach to all behavioral presentations. Contact us to discuss your child's specific needs and how we can help. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Autism Center of Pittsburgh!! URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-center-of-pittsburgh/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:52.000Z This post originally announced the launch of Autism Center of Pittsburgh, an early milestone in Dr. John Carosso's mission to create a dedicated, specialized resource for families affected by autism in the greater Pittsburgh area. That vision has grown significantly. Today, Autism Centers of Pittsburgh (ACP) operates as a full-service autism specialty practice under the Community Psychiatric Centers umbrella, offering comprehensive evaluations, ABA therapy, psychiatric services, and family support. If you found this page while searching for autism services in Pittsburgh, you've come to the right practice, just at an earlier address. Visit Autism Centers of Pittsburgh at acpitt.com to learn about our current services, locations, and how to get started. [Visit Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Improve Your Child’s Community Behavior URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/improve-your-childs-community-behavior/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:48.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso No Drama Outings: As many of you are too well aware, taking your kids out to the store, or restaurant, can be as adventure-packed as any Indiana Jones movie. However, those are occasions you’d rather do without the drama. Get some help: If you want some help to improve your child’s behavior during outings, just go cpcwecare.com, click on Parent Resources, and you’ll find a downloadable packet that provides dozens of tips and suggestions to help improve your child’s public behavior. While you’re there, you’ll also see a bunch of other free and downloadable packets and e-pamphlets targeting childhood: \-Autism \-ADHD \-Mood problems \-Dietary considerations \-Toilet training \-Attachment Disorder and the Traumatized Child \-Encopresis (may not want to read that one before a meal) \-Helping the over-indulged child (I’ll need that for my kids) \-Dyslexia, and more. Hope you find the packets and e-pamphlets to be helpful. Feel free to refer a friend. Please let me know of any other topics you want covered. God Bless. ### DSM-V and Autism: Don't Fret URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dsm-v-and-autism-dont-fret-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:53.000Z When early drafts of the DSM-5 criteria for autism were circulated, they sparked significant parental anxiety, particularly among families of children with Asperger's Syndrome and PDD-NOS who feared their children would lose their diagnoses under the new framework. This post offered early reassurance. In retrospect, the transition to the DSM-5's unified Autism Spectrum Disorder category did affect some individuals' diagnoses, but the overall impact on services was less dramatic than many feared. The broader lesson is that diagnostic criteria evolve, but the clinical needs of autistic individuals and their families do not disappear. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh provides accurate, current evaluations under DSM-5 criteria. Visit our Autism FAQ or contact us to learn more. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### ADHD: Top 5 Tips / new ADHD E-Pamphlet URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/adhd-5-top-tips-new-adhd-e-pamphlet/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:38.000Z **Hair-loss prevention** The behavior of children with attention deficit and hyperactivity can cause parents to pull out their hair. So, before you become bald, which clearly would add insult to injury, you may want some pointers. Fortunately, I have an approach to treating hyperactive kids that might save what’s left of your hair. **I love you just the way you are!** Remind yourself to love your child the way he or she is. Accept that your child is more active and easily distracted than most, and subsequently needs more attention, guidance, support, and love. Nevertheless, there are some specific things you can do to help. **Softer and closer yet again** First, the ‘softer and closer’ approach is vital (see my earlier post by that name). Hyperactive kids need individual attention, close proximity with eye contact, speaking firmly but softly, and to be taken by the hand and walked-through through their responsibilities including chores. I’ll be describing some specific strategies to promote independence but, no matter, for the time being, don’t expect your child to go upstairs, brush his teeth, put on his pj’s, clean-up after himself, and come downstairs without you repeating step-by-step directions and providing ample oversight. Your individualized attention is invaluable and vital. Enjoy this time of bonding. Don’t become frustrated but, rather, enjoy the opportunities to spend extra time with your child, helping him to complete daily tasks and to make good decisions. Keep in mind that there will be a day when he’ll be out of the home and, believe it or not, you’ll miss this time. In the meantime, in trying to promote independence, here ya go: **Top-Tips:** 1.) keep the daily schedule and expectations as routine and consistent as possible. Your child will carry-out tasks easier if the responsibilities are completed at the same time, done the same way, and in the same manner on a daily basis; no guesswork. 2.) Use schedules, both written and visual; such cues are invaluable as reminders of ‘what to do next’ and can include, for example, to ‘turn out the light’ either in writing or a picture of your child turning out the light. 3.) Get eye contact, give direction in short phrases, and ask child to repeat the direction before beginning. 4.) Allow opportunities for ‘blowing off steam’ (ample time to run outside…). Provide vigorous exercise prior to expecting prolonged seat-work such as homework. 5.) Keep the homework area quiet, distraction-free, well-organized, and allow breaks as needed (complete one page, take a break...). Ironically, some children perform homework better with some background music. 6.) One more tip (here's a bonus tip); don’t forget behavior charts!! For example, child completes homework and gets a sticker that can be ‘cashed-in’ later that evening to watch his favorite show. Kids love it and it's increased motivation to stay on task. These strategies can be faded as your child uses more mature coping strategies and becomes increasingly independent. Follow these steps, see the difference, and keep the hair on your head. Now, go and get softer and closer with your kids. For more information on understanding and managing ADHD, request our new **E-Pamphlet: Facts and Fallacies about ADHD**. Request in the 'Comment' section of this blog, or email me at jcarosso@cpcwecare.com and I’ll get you the pamphlet pronto. God bless and Merry Christmas. ### Ten Tips for Managing Meltdowns URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/ten-tips-for-managing-meltdowns/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:50.000Z **Written by Dr. Carosso** It’s not uncommon that kids may become overly emotional, even tantrummatic at times. Parents typically ignore such behavior and send the child to their room to calm, which can be an effective and appropriate strategy. **To isolate or not to isolate?** For kids who show more severe emotion, banishing to the room may not be entirely effective. In some cases the child, in their room, may become destructive or self-injurious. Moreover, sometimes these kiddos refuse to go to their room, leaving parents in a quandary. **What to do?** Here is a ten-tip prescription for success: **Remain Calm** Do not lose your cool, raise your voice, or become overly emotional, it only worsens the situation. Two out-of- control people certainly doesn't help. Rely on the softer and closer approach espoused and explained by me in a prior post (see ‘the softer and closer approach’). **Pick your Battles Carefully** Some battles simply aren't worth it. You may have to decide whether your child picking-up their toys is worth a three hour battle that may ensue. **Accessing Antecedents** It’s often possible to predict emotionally volatile situations before they occur. If the problem can be predicted, it can often be avoided. For example, if your child tends to tantrum soon after returning home from school in response to contact with a sibling; you may keep the two apart for 30 minutes after the return from school, and provide a structured routine of after-school activities to slowly bring them back together on your terms, not theirs. **The Struggle for Power** Some kids are especially strong-willed and looking for a fight. If you butt heads, you may win the battle but find yourself losing the war if your home is turning into a battle-zone. Instead, avoid power-struggles by providing choices, using humor, starting the chore with your child, making a race of the chore (who can get done faster…), using hand-over-hand, utilizing the softer-and-closer approach, tag-teaming with your spouse (take a break and let your spouse intervene), reminding of good consequences for compliance, walking away and dealing with it later, giving a choice between a quick ten-minute time-out or losing TV for the rest of the night, and a host of other options. The larger your tool box is, the better-prepared you will be. **The safety zone** It’s sometimes necessary to turn the child’s bedroom in a safe and secure place for your child to calm. Otherwise, parents may find themselves restraining their child for extended periods of time, which often leads to someone getting hurt. If you find yourself in this situation, contact this psychologist, for guidance, at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). **The Beauty of Behavior Charts** Yes, sticker charts can be a pain, but they sure can provide children with extra motivation to control themselves. When they don’t work it’s often because they’re being used incorrectly. It can be more complicated than people think to figure-out how often, how much, and for what should stickers and rewards be given. For example, it’s all for naught if you give a 4 year-old stickers once per day, and extra rewards once per week (a four year-old often needs reinforcement far more frequently). I’ve found it best that parents seek professional guidance to devise a chart but, in the meantime, see my earlier post explaining behavior charts. **The Medication Malady** Parents are usually hesitant to consider medication. However, many children who struggle with more extreme emotion respond very favorably to various medications. In more severe situations, it may be wise to consider seeing a psychiatrist and such can be arranged with Dr. Lowenstein here at CPC. **What About Autism?** Many of these strategies also pertain to children with autism. However, we would also want to target sensory issues, language difficulties, and socialization deficits that can quickly lead to heightened emotion. It’s vital that we avoid sensory overload, find ways for children with autism to communicate their needs and wants, and avoid social situations that we know will likely contribute to frustration. I’ll write a separate post on managing meltdowns for children who have autism. **The Spiritual Connection** Get your child involved in activities that enhance spiritual development (church services, Sunday School, Children’s Ministries, Youth Group, Retreats, listening to KLOVE (98.3FM), playing with Spiritually-Minded friends…). It is comforting to be reminded that God loves, cares, is a protector, comforter, helper during times of frustration, and that He's only a prayer away (see my prior post, "*the argument squelcher*"). **Praise without Ceasing** Always be on the look-out for good behavior, self-control, and cooperation. Praise whatever you want to see more of. Don’t miss an opportunity to praise your child for handling a situation without excess emotion, or for calming-down quicker than usual. Big hugs, high-fives, a big smile, and words of praise go a long way to increase your child’s motivation for next time. **I hope you find this post to be helpful in your effort to calm and comfort your child. If you want some more guidance in dealing with your kiddo’s emotional issues, don’t hesitate to email me at** [**jcarosso@cpcwcare.com**](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwcare.com)**. In the meantime, God bless.** ### Smart vs. Wise: Which is Better? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/smart-vs-wise-which-is-better/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:52.000Z **The benefits of brilliance** Okay, I know you want your kiddo to be smart, get good grades, and achieve lots of academic success. It’s wonderful to see that ‘A’ on the report card, and it makes you feel proud and encouraged for your child’s future. **Smart = Wise?** We want our kids to be smart, but does that mean they'll be wise too? If a child gets good grades, will they also make good decisions in their life? That’s a tough one. Research has shown that smart people tend to be happier and more successful. However, is it *always* a sure bet that they’re wiser? I think we know that there are lots of smart people in jail. As a psychologist, I also know that there are lots of smart people who are not especially happy. I also know that there a lot of less-than-brilliant people who are very happy, and not in jail. Smart doesn't equal wise. **The Wisdom Factor?** So what the different between being smart and being wise. Smart people may have a high IQ, but wise people make good decisions. They know when to say no. That begs the question: what are “good decisions?” It could be said that ‘good decisions’ are those choices that keep us out of trouble, help and bring us closer to others, and benefit our lives and the lives of others. The more we do such things, the happier and more content we'll be. **Where does wisdom come from?** We can read from the book of Proverbs, the “manual for living”, that God cherishes wisdom much more than smarts and such has since helped to “keep us from making wrong turns or following the bad direction.” Am I saying that wisdom comes from our relationship with God; well, yea, I am. How else do we learn right from wrong and stay strong to do what’s right? **Where does that leave our kids?** Okay, back to where we started; you want your child to be smart and earn good grades. However, you also want your child to be make good decisions, have good and healthy interpersonal boundaries and relationships, not make a wreck of their lives, help others, and be as joyful as possible despite inevitable trials and tribulations. To put it more simply (albeit less clinically), we want our children to avoid sin and do what is pleasing in God’s eyes. I think that’s why we, as parents, go to such great lengths to get our kids to church, Sunday school, CCD, Synagogue, or wherever you go to get closer to, and learn about God. We inherently know that the closer our child is to knowing and understanding God, the more likely he or she is to make better choices. We also remember that ‘what you do speaks so loudly I can't hear what you say’, so we work extra hard to model, for our children, a virtuous life. **Smarts vs wisdom** I’ll be happy if both my kids earn straight A’s, are valedictorians, go to medical school, and find a cure for cancer. However, I’ll be positively thrilled if they, quite simply, are wise. How about you? Feel free to comment, or email me directly at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com). God Bless. Dr. John Carosso ### Separation Anxiety: A Kindergartner's Struggle URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/separation-anxiety-a-kindergartners-struggle/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:54.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso **Off to school blues** Have you had smooth experiences getting your kids off to school? I hope and trust that your kids have navigated this transition without undue difficulty. However, my kiddo has not been so fortunate. Much to his chagrin, Nico is starting Kindergarten, and the separation process has not been easy. Our mornings have been replete with his crying, clinging to his mother’s leg, making a run for it, and exclaiming his desire to “skip” Kindergarten. **Heal thyself** Of course, as a child psychologist, I have dealt with this problem countless times. I know what to do; but it sure can be tough to do it. How hard is it to see your child suffer? It’s our first impulse to ‘do something’ to remedy the problem and see our child smile again, as quickly as possible. **Temptations** It has been very tempting to simply send Nico back to his small, private school with only a handful of classmates. I’ve talked to parents who have been equally tempted to home or cyber-school. I appreciate, now more than ever, their inclination to do so. It’s tortuous to see our kids struggle. **What to do?** The answer is to compel Nico to face his fears. Despite the impulse to do otherwise and simply wait (hope) for maturity, there is no guarantee that time will solve this problem. I’ve reminded myself of having worked with High School students who continue to struggle with school refusal due to anxiety. So, rather than capitulate, we have remained firm but have accommodated. Nico has been given ongoing encouragement, calming strategies, he’s been driven to school, the Guidance Counselor has met him to walk to class, and he has been given some extra attention from the classroom teacher. We’ll fade these strategies over time, but so far we’re seeing progress. He’s still not too happy about Kindergarten, but the fuss is reducing. **One size fits all?** The motto for anxiety disorders is ‘face your fears’; and it’s the most effective avenue for overcoming such problems. However, the key question is how, when, and how much fear we face at any given time. Sometimes we need to face the fear all at once; but sometimes gradually. It all depends on the severity of the fear, and the child’s response to ‘facing’ the fear. Nevertheless, either way, the goal is always a progressive and unrelenting pursuit of facing the fear. **Future Anxiety?** Children who struggle with separation anxiety tend, by their very nature, to be more sensitive, anxious, and uptight about other things, and such often carries-on throughout life. However, while excessive anxiety may surface now and then, the key is to teach Nico, and your kiddo, to learn now how to manage the fear so that they control it, rather than it controlling them. He will be able to use what he learns now for the rest of his life. I’ll keep you abreast of Nico’s progress; in the meantime, feel free to email me about any anxiety problems with your kids as well (comment below, or email me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com)). God bless and happy separating. ### Good Morning America, and Sleeping with Our Kids URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/good-morning-america-and-sleeping-with-our-kids/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:55.000Z **Written by Dr. Carosso** **What happened?** You may have noticed that, despite announcement otherwise, I did not appear on GMA last Wed. It was disappointing given that the interview was taped and the segment was ready to go but, as I was informed later by the Producer, at the last minute the segment had to be shortened due to time constraints. Guess that’s life in show business. **What would have happened?** If I had been interviewed on GMA, the topic was pros and cons of parents sleeping with their kids; I was supposed to be the “expert” speaking on the potential “cons.” Not that I am totally against kids sleeping with their parents. God knows my kids have far too frequently snuck-in and we’ve been too tired to fuss about it (with no harm done and, in fact, it can be a nice bonding experience). Moreover, as you know, kiddos who’ve had a bad dream, or aren’t feeling well, may wind-up sleeping with their parents, and I doubt any “expert” would describe that as remarkable or damaging. **So what’s the problem?** Seems I’m treading on thin ice here, because some parents get really sensitive about any negative comments regarding regularly sharing the bed with kids. I was recently quoted in the Huffington Post in that regard and subsequently called, by one of my admirers, as myopic and ethno-centric. Well, I’ve been called worse (and expect more of the same after today post), so here it goes. **The Parent Trap(s)** Scenario: \-Child has bad dream or isn’t feeling well \-Parents indulge child in parent’s bed \-Child later finds other reasons to sneak-in \-Pattern of behavior is quickly established \-Parent can’t get child out of bed This is an all-too-common scenario. Not to mention an infant who presents with colic and can only be put-to-sleep in Mom’s arms, in the parent’s bed. Next thing y’know, the child is three years old and still in Mom and Dad’s bed. I know about this one first-hand. Believe me, it was no easy task to get my daughter back into her bed. Another scenario: Single parent wants some company, so indulges child to share sleeping quarters. Parent later gets married; you guess the rest. **What parents really want** After discussing this issue with parents for over 20 years, I’ve come to the conclusion that the vast majority of parents *do not* want their kids in bed with them. Need I mention the intimacy-thing; and that it’s hard to sleep with kids (they’re squirmy and kick…)? However, parents don’t know how to get them out without subsequent emotion, tantrums, and upheaval. I should post next time about how to do that. **What’s best for the kids** Okay, feel free to call me myopic, but children can learn a lot by sleeping on their own. These posts are supposed to be brief, so I’ll cut to the chase: the act of falling asleep, and falling back to sleep, requires the ability to *self-soothe*, which is a skill that comes in handy even during the day. I’ve seen countless kids who appear more self-confident, secure, and calmer after finally learning how to remain in their own bed and sleep through the night. I’ve seen parents who appear happier too, which is another plus for the kids. Don’t want to forget to mention: research suggests that SIDS rates are significantly higher for children sleeping with their parents. One would think that there is at least some danger of rolling-over on an infant or toddler. **Good Morning America revisited?** Maybe someday I’ll get on that show but, in the meantime, I covet and appreciate this wonderful audience of remarkable parents and individuals who put their heart and soul into caring for kids, and who actually take time out of their busy schedule to read these posts. I take this writing seriously, and hope you find them worthwhile. God bless. ### Dr. Carosso on Good Morning America URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dr-carosso-on-good-morning-america/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:57.000Z Watch Dr. Carosso on ABC's *Good Morning America* tomorrow (Wed, August 24th) for an interview on parents sleeping with their children. Should be a good one. ### Resiliency: Factors that Matter URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/resiliency-factors-that-matter/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:29:58.000Z **Written by Dr. Carosso** Why is it that some show resilience and bounce-back from bouts of depression, anxiety, and terrible life circumstances, while others continue to struggle? That’s an age-old question with no easy answers, but there are some factors that count. Lets take a look: **Impervious insight** It’s vital to recognize that we have a problem, a realistic sense from where our problem originates, and that our problem needs to somehow be managed. Those who have such an understanding (insight) are usually more motivated to take responsibility for their problem and make changes. Oh, that reminds me of the next factor… **Miraculous motivation** It’s vital to want change, and be willing to move toward altering one’s lifestyle to live in a healthier fashion. Those who are motivated are, by definition, more energized and focused. **Maximum extraction** It’s amazing how some people, no matter how horrible their situation, find ways to compensate, rebound, and rise above their circumstances. I’ve seen this capacity in adults and kids alike. Some refer to this as the ‘ability to extract’ that refers to the ability to pull, from one’s environment, the strength and fortitude to move forward. These heroic individuals are able to extract strength from any healthy person with whom they have contact (a coach, neighbor, teacher, relative…); they see their glass as half-full, and see the silver linings in the darkest of clouds. God has blessed these people with such a capacity, and they ultimately move forward, and prove to be a blessing to others. **Heavenly help** Resilient individuals have a broader, more meaningful perspective of the world, above their own personal problems. I’ve worked with a host of children who gain substantial comfort from knowing they’re not alone and that the Almighty Creator, who has the universe in His hands, won’t let go of theirs. **Ask and you shall receive** Those who bounce-back find somebody to bounce off of. They recognize that they need help, and that two can accomplish more than twice as much as one. They ask for help; could be from a friend, relative, teacher, or neighbor, but sometimes it needs to come from a professional, and they’re okay with that. Resilient people seek the counsel of others, and remain open to guidance. **The family factor** Of course, it’s easier to ask for help if you feel you have a supportive family. However, those who fare better have families members who have good personal boundaries (mind their own business but are available when needed), avoid undue drama, and are loyal. **From where, and how do I instill?** You may be asking ‘how do I get these qualities?’ or ‘how do I instill these attributes into my children’? I’ll elaborate on those questions in future posts. In the meantime, keep in mind that these factors are simply ‘mind-sets’; that you can choose to embrace at any time. Moreover, daily you teach your kids these qualities by how you handle problems. However, it’s less by what you say, and more by what you do. Remember the old saying ‘what you do speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say.’ God bless. If you found this helpful, feel free to forward to a friend. ### Autism: Back to School Made Easy URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-back-to-school-made-easy/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:55.000Z Back-to-school transitions are a significant source of anxiety for many autistic children, and for the parents navigating them. Disrupted summer routines, new teachers, new classrooms, and new social dynamics all converge at once, creating a perfect storm of unpredictability for children who depend on structure and sameness. Preparing early, visiting the school before the first day, creating visual schedules of the new routine, and communicating proactively with teachers and support staff can all smooth the transition significantly. The key is beginning preparation weeks, not days, before school starts. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh supports families year-round, including during seasonal transitions. If your child struggles with school transitions, contact ACP to discuss how we can help. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) --- *Editor note: Enable "Prevent this page from appearing in search results" in Ghost SEO settings.* ### Asperger's and Social Outings: Don't Leave It To Chance URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/aspergers-and-social-outings-dont-leave-it-to-chance/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:57.000Z Children with Asperger's Syndrome, now classified under the autism spectrum as Level 1 ASD, often have average to above-average verbal intelligence but struggle significantly in unstructured social situations. A birthday party, a family gathering, or a field trip can feel overwhelming when the social rules are implicit and unpredictable. The most effective approach is deliberate preparation: previewing the setting, rehearsing likely social scenarios, identifying a safe person or quiet space to retreat to, and debriefing afterward. Leaving social outings to chance sets up failure; planning for them creates opportunities for success. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh works with children, teens, and families to build practical social skills for real-world settings. Contact ACP to learn more. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### The Argument Squelcher URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-argument-squelcher/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:00.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso **Lets set the scene:** You get into an argument with your spouse. You know your point is valid but you’re having trouble getting your mate to acknowledge your view; instead, he just wants to “move on” and “forget about it.” So, he tries to change the subject and you’re left feeling unheard and misunderstood. You’re simply not ready to “move on” and you feel ‘stuck’ and frustrated. As you're stewing over the problem, you think that, if only your point of view was acknowledged, even in disagreement, you’d feel more at-ease and prepared to move-on. Well, the same thing happens every time you want to “move on” past your child’s disappointment, frustration, anger, or problem. **Scene II:** Okay, here’s the next scenario: your child complains that he doesn't want to stop playing that new video game you just purchased for him, to empty the trash. You abruptly respond, in irritated fashion, for him to follow your direction “NOW” and ignore his obvious frustration. **Reflection to avoid rejection** Okay, I know what you're thinking; there are situations when there is simply no time for discussing the matter; nevertheless, you may find that, just as with your prior argument with your spouse, that a simple and quick ‘reflective’ comment, acknowledging your child’s feelings, would help him to more quickly move beyond his feelings and carry-out the assigned task. For example, a comment such as “I understand it’s frustrating to be taken away from your new game. After you finish the chore you can return to playing” may prove to be quite helpful. Feeling ‘heard’ is extraordinarily powerful; it bolsters a sense of comfort and then allows for moving beyond, and past, the problem at hand. **The Alternative?** Otherwise, we tend to feel ‘stuck’ in the argument. Reflective listening is vital in all relationships, for issues that are both pleasant (“you're really happy you got an A on that test, you worked so hard…”) and not to pleasant (“you feel sad that your friend didn’t show-up, that can be disappointing”). In regards to this latter situation regarding the friend not showing up, the child will sense his feelings were acknowledged and more likely be willing to move forward to problem-solving, e.g. “why don’t you call your friend Timothy and see if he wants to come over instead.” In the absence of reflective listening, there is a tendency for your child to become argumentative (“I’m not calling Timmy, I wanted Jim to be here…”). **Spread the reflections:** You can more readily avoid such conflicts with your child, and with any other person in your life, by listening for, and acknowledging, their feelings. Try it; you may find yourself feeling happier too. Feel free to comment forward to a friend:) God bless ### Dyslexia: What it is, and how to treat it URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/dyslexia-what-it-is-and-how-to-treat-it/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:02.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso I am often asked, “does my child have dyslexia.” A follow-up question usually pertains to what exactly is “dyslexia” and what can a parent do to help. Here’s what you need to know: **‘Dyslexia’ vs a ‘Learning Disability’** Dyslexia (disorder of reading) and Dysgraphia (disorder of writing) are two conditions that are often labeled by school districts, more generally, as a “learning disability”. In fact, over 90% of students classified as having a ‘Specific Learning Disability’ (and given an IEP) are classified as such because they have some form of dyslexia. **Like father, like son** These conditions are almost always inherited (that’s right kids, don’t say your parents never gave you anything) and can greatly interfere with a child’s ability to make progress in school. **More than just a reading disorder** Dyslexia is actually a problem with the processing of *language*; kids have difficulty processing the sequence of sounds that comprise spoken words. Consequently, you get words like “psghetti” and “amninal.” Interesting, these kiddos genuinely don’t ‘hear’ themselves saying the words incorrectly so it’s difficult for them to self-correct. Moreover, they also struggle with visually processing the specific sounds. Consequently, they may read “gut” for “glut” and so on. **The foundation of treatment** All of the effective strategies are based in a ‘multi-sensory’ approach that incorporates, in the learning process, visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. In that respect, a child may be shown the word, asked to say the word, hear it spoken by the teacher, write the word on paper, and write the word or letter (using his finger) on a rough surface. Consequently, the child is receiving varied feedback (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) regarding how that word looks, sounds, feels, and is written. Kinesthetic tends to be especially important (once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget…) The Orton-Gillingham approach is commonly used, and incorporates this multi-sensory approach. **What you can do** Here are some considerations: Read to your child daily, assuming that the person reading to the child is a good reader and can clearly and accurately pronounce the letters and words. In that regard, there’s no sense in confusing the child further. Books on tape can be helpful otherwise and Kindle is becoming popular (read-aloud option) **Two second rule** When reading to your child and taking turns, use the ‘two second rule’. When your child struggles, wait two seconds, then quickly pronounce the word for your child and move-on with the reading. Otherwise, the reading experience becomes burdensome, boring, and your child will resist. Moreover, basic reading passages have lots of repetition of words, so you’ll re-encounter that word soon enough. **Practice makes perfect** Practice writing by tracing and progressively moving to free-hand. Tracing and writing of problem letters (b’s, p’s, d’s…) is helpful. There are also various helpful tricks (“bed” featuring a picture of two people - pictured as the ‘b’ and ‘d’ - holding between them an ‘e’ on which a person is sleeping…). **“Those letters are jumping around…”** Use off-white paper or background with larger-size (14 pt or more) comic sans font to reduce the letters appearing to “move around on the page” (a common complaint from kids struggling with dyslexia). **Technology is our friend** Practice phonics on-line; simply google “free phonics games” and plenty of sites will be available for daily, fun-filled practice. There are also inexpensive ‘apps’ that can be downloaded. I also refer parents to any number of commercial software products that provide comprehensive instruction, in a child-friendly manner, on the computer. **Get our Dyslexia Packet free of charge** Simply email me at [jcarosso@cpcwecare.com](mailto:jcarosso@cpcwecare.com) and ask for our Dyslexia Packet that outlines these strategies, helpful websites, websites addresses for software, and a host of other treatment options. **What to do in the meantime** Parents often ask how their child can manage during the time they’re receiving support at school, but not yet showing marked improvement, and therefore still struggling in completing assignments. I’ll cover those very helpful tips in my next post. Stay tuned. **Lets hear from you** Please comment on what you’ve found to be helpful for your child. Also, if you found this helpful, please forward to a friend. Thanks. ### Autism: What Works; What Doesn't; and What Causes It URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-what-works-what-doesnt-and-what-causes-it/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:40:58.000Z Questions about autism's causes and the effectiveness of various treatments have generated enormous amounts of research, controversy, and parental confusion over the years. The scientific consensus on causation points to a complex interaction of genetic and environmental factors, and firmly rules out vaccines as a contributing cause. On the treatment side, ABA therapy has the strongest evidence base for skill-building and behavioral outcomes, with speech-language therapy and occupational therapy playing important complementary roles. Alternative and unproven treatments continue to proliferate, and families benefit from guidance in evaluating claims critically. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh is committed to evidence-based evaluation and treatment. Visit our Autism FAQ for answers to common questions about autism causes and care. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Eight Things Parents Can Do About Bullying At School URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/seven-things-parents-can-do-about-bullying-at-school/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:04.000Z Written by Dr. Robert A. Lowenstein MD Bullying at school has become a major source of anxiety and trauma for many children in school. Going to school on the bus, eating in the lunchroom, or simply walking school hallways has become a time of pain and suffering for too many of our children. In severe instances, it even has led to children committing suicide. Here are some tips parents can use to counter this experience: 1. Talk with your child about whether it is happening if they seem sad and afraid of school. 2. Report the bullying to school authorities. 3. Expect and insist that the school staff meet alone with your child to find out what has happened. 4. Expect that school staff meets with the child or children who have bullied your child to make it clear that bullying will not be permitted, and that they will face disciplinary action if it continues. 5. If these steps do not work, write your concerns to the school administrator, including specifics of the events in question, and complain about the situation. 6. Call the police if your child has been physically injured or seriously threatened. 7. If all else fails, involve an attorney to pursue it further. 8. If your child seems depressed, withdrawn, or anxious, have him evaluated by a child mental health professional to determine the need for mental health counseling. ### A Prayer a Day Keeps Anger Away…? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-prayer-a-day-keeps-anger-away/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:06.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso I was perusing a recent *Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin* and came across a research article that caught my attention. I think it will catch your attention too. **The research:** In the article, researchers found that when people were provoked by somebody, they were less angry and **much** quicker to calm when they spent a few minutes praying to God, compared to those who used other coping methods (thinking about a person or other distraction methods). **Not even close** In comparing the results for the two groups (praying vs non-praying), it wasn’t even close. Those who briefly prayed were much calmer and felt better about the situation than those who did not. Similar outcomes were seen in four separate trials and, in every instance, the results were significant when compared to those who did not pray. It didn’t matter if the person rated themselves as devout or not; they calmed quicker just the same. Most identified themselves as Christian, but not all. **Not too surprising** I imagine God isn’t too surprised by these results; He’s been telling us for quite some time to pray when we’re troubled or distressed (James 5:13). We shouldn’t be surprised either. However, it’s always nice when the “scientific” supports the spiritual. However, one of the researchers explained the outcome in a manner discounting the spiritual; but we know better;) **Practice makes perfect** Many of you have particular prayer-times for your kids (before bedtime, before sending your kids off to school, saying Grace before dinner…), which I trust you've found to be meaningful and helpful. How about also incorporating prayer into your daily arsenal to combat arguments and conflict? You may want to practice with your child to use prayer to calm, feel more in control, and tap-into a source of comfort and guidance. **Pray for your “enemies”?** The research was also compelling in that the prayer was directed toward helping another person. It’s especially useful to teach our kids (and remind ourselves) to move away from self-absorbed anger and focus on helping those in need, including the person doing the provoking. Okay, I know, kids may not be too enthusiastic about that last part, but it’ll grow on them. **The Enhancer** Of course, a brief prayer doesn’t replace conflict-resolution, it enhances it. It’s easier for your child, after a prayer and feeling a bit calmer, to talk about a peer bothering him at school and figure out a game-plan. **Give it a go** Try it and let me know how it works for you and your kids. I’ve done this with my kids and have seen, first hand, how this can be helpful. **That reminds me** By the way, this article reminded me of a post I wrote last year. I reprinted it below (Spirituality: Father knows Best). Feel free to check it out; I hope you find it worthwhile. **Spirituality: Father Knows Best** Written by Dr. John Carosso Wouldn’t it be nice to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, especially when it comes to caring for your kids? Well, you’ll never be any of those things, but you can introduce your child to someone who is. Imagine how comforting and reassuring for your child to know, during times of good and bad, that he or she is being watched-over, protected, helped, comforted, and that he is part of a larger, heavenly clan of his Father, brothers, and sisters. I have seen time and time again: children with a spiritual sense tend to have a stronger conscience, are easier to comfort, and have a better understanding and sense of purpose and meaning in their life. Parent can pull from the Bible to teach and help their child to understand about morality, compassion, love, the destructiveness of sin, and how stay on the ‘straight and narrow’. I can say, first-hand, that having a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father is rewarding beyond words, and I relish sharing Him with my kids and watching them grow in their spiritual relationship. I strongly suggest that you take advantage of developing, within your child (and why not within yourself too?) a strong spiritual life, based in a loving relationship with God. Otherwise, you lose access to an invaluable anchor and rudder that can be the utmost guiding force for good and joy. God bless. Feel free to comment and forward to a friend. ### Underage Drinking at Home - Where are the Parents? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/underage-drinking-at-home-where-are-the-parents/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:07.000Z Written by: Dr. Robert A. Lowenstein MDOne of the things that really bothered me when my son was a high school teenager involved his receiving a party invitation to a schoolmate’s home, which announced that alcohol would be served to the teens by the parents who planned on being home.Having seen more than my share of teenage drug abuse in my practice, with great dismay, I called the parent responsible, only to be told that they thought it would better for them to supervise the underage drinking, as it was going to occur anyway. I failed to see the logic in this then, as I do now.Recent information published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration indicates that over one half of teenagers who drank alcohol over the past month actually got the alcohol at home, and about 16 % were actually served the alcohol by a parent. This as the rates of teenage addiction continues to rise.My view is that parents and caregivers need to prevent this dangerous behavior, rather than condone or support it. If all parents refuse to allow their children to attend these underage events, or report these parents, maybe this parental misbehavior will end.What do you think? ### Five Ways to Jump-Start Classroom Achievement URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/five-ways-to-jump-start-classroom-achievement/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:09.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso Okay, here it goes; whether your child is a typical kiddo or struggles with attention, learning, social, or developmental issues, these strategies will help any child perform at his or her best. These strategies are well-founded in research and over 20 years experience in clinical and educational practice. Let’s get to it: **Billboard your child’s strengths** Go overboard to inform teachers, and remind them regularly, of your child’s strengths. Send notes and emails, write in a daily log, leave phone messages, yell if from the roof-top, send smoke signals, and do whatever else it takes to establish and maintain the teacher’s positive impression of your child. Over 10 years of research is abundantly clear that teacher’s preconceived notions about a student, whether good or bad, even if untrue, tend to come to pass. For example, students who are described as smarter (even if they’re not) subsequently score higher on tests; students who are described as social and cooperative (even if they’re not) later do better socially, and on and on it goes… I’m not suggesting that you mislead, but simply ‘talk-up’ your child’s strengths:) **Power-sitting** Make sure your child is seated in the ‘Attention Zone’ of the classroom (i.e. the triangle-shaped area with the base of the triangle being the front row of the class). Students seated in this triangle area receive more eye contact, oversight, monitoring, and attention than anywhere else in the classroom. These students subsequently tend to score higher, and feel more supported. **The classroom stepping-machine** Look for teachers who wear running shoes (or buy the teacher running shoes). There is an inverse correlation between the number of steps a teacher takes throughout a classroom and the subsequent behavior problems in the class. The more steps, the less behavior problems (and more academic success!). Kids do better when an adult frequently passes by. **The break that keeps on giving** Okay, we know that kiddos need breaks throughout the day, but these breaks need to involve movement; at least a brisk walk if not vigorous running for at least five minutes; and be offered two or three times per day (sometimes more; e.g. for kids who have ADHD). Thereafter, students are more attentive, cooperative, and interested in learning. Moreover, walking in a green-space area has shown to be far superior than a gray-space for subsequent attention to task and achievement. **Fill-er-up** Kids want attention. Okay, I know, that’s no revelation. However, what isn’t so well known are these two points, 1.) kids want their ‘attention-tank’ to be full, but they are not particular with what, or how, it gets full. Students will seek attention negatively if teachers don’t give it positively. So, for every negative redirection, there needs to be at least 10 praises (“catch them being good…”). This way, your child can focus on learning, not getting attention, and feel confident in doing so. 2.) Research shows that kids do better if praised about their hard work, rather than their intelligence. The former can be improved, the latter ends-up being an expectation that increases pressure and stress, and has actually been shown to cause grades to drop. Your child will be happier, more successful, and confident when these strategies are used (maybe they can be used at home too:) Each needs to be tailored to your child, but you get the idea. You only have so much control over what the teacher will do in the classroom, but now you know what needs to be done. Stay tuned; I’ll provide some more tips in weeks to come. In the meantime, feel free ask questions, comment, and forward this to a friend (or maybe to a certain teacher…). God bless. ### Children's Sleep Problems - A Family Nightmare URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/118-2/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T16:52:41.000Z Written by Dr. Robert A. Lowenstein MDChildren who have difficulty in going to bed or staying asleep cause major problems for many families. A child’s inability to sleep causes them to suffer with daytime sleepiness, irritability, and poor school performance, and also causes parents to endure days of tiredness, irritability, and lack of concentration.In most cases, emotional stress connected to issues or changes in a child’s life is the culprit. Learning challenges at school or problems in peer relationships, anxiety, fears, and separation problems at home, as well as too much noise and excitement before bed time needs to be addressed.We often first advise parents to change their child’s night time routine by turning off the TV or computer in their room, helping the child to maintain a consistent and quiet routine after dinner, with time allowed for them to settle in, and insisting on their sleeping in their own room. Breaking old habits is very difficult for children and requires patience and stick-to-it ness.If this does not help, over-the counter (OTC) preparations like Valerian root, St. John’s wort, and Humulus lupulus (hops) have been proven to be of some value. Melatonin to correct circadian rhythm (day-night cycle) disturbances is often helpful. While OTC preparations are generally free of side effects, they are not entirely free of safety concerns, and need to be closely monitored by a medical professional. It is very important for parents to tell their child’s psychiatrist or pediatrician of their use as they may interfere with other medical treatments or be in themselves a cause of some harm.Medications such as Rozerem (or ramelteon, a melatonin enhancer), Catapres (or clonidine used to treat ADHD), various antidepressants, as well as antihistamines, are prescribed because of their sedating properties.It is very important to know that medications are not meant to be used indefinitely, and drug-free periods are recommended. ### Autism: What about that "spectrum" thing? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-what-about-that-spectrum-thing/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:41:00.000Z "Spectrum" is one of the most used, and most misunderstood, words in autism. It doesn't mean a straight line from mild to severe; it describes a multidimensional range of profiles, each with its own configuration of strengths, challenges, and support needs. Two people can both be autistic and look almost nothing alike in their day-to-day presentation. Understanding the spectrum as dimensional rather than linear changes how parents, educators, and clinicians approach diagnosis, goal-setting, and advocacy. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh evaluates and treats individuals across the full range of the spectrum, with individualized plans that reflect each person's unique profile. Visit our Autism FAQ for a deeper look at what the spectrum really means. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### Treating ADHD Without Stimulants URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/treating-adhd-without-stimulants/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:11.000Z Written by Dr. Robert Lowenstein MD I often get questions by parents who prefer not to have their children prescribed a stimulant medication for ADHD. They ask whether there are alternatives to help reduce their child’s symptoms of inattention, over activity, impulsiveness, lack of focus, and irritability. The gold standard for the treatment of ADHD symptoms has been a combination of stimulant medication and behavioral treatment, that have been proven to be the most effective by many research studies over the past 70 years. However, the answer is that there are complementary and alternative biomedical (CAM) treatments for ADHD, which might be helpful. The scientific evidence for their effectiveness varies, and none should be tried without close collaboration with a physician or child psychiatrist to both confirm that a child truly has ADHD and to closely monitor their use for safety. The alternatives that might be worth a try, despite lack of scientific study, include use of (1) Essential fatty acid supplementation (EPA, DHA, and GLA) or Omega-3 fatty acids, which can have other health benefits for the heart and brain. (2) RDI/RDA multivitamin supplementation could also be useful for children with appetite loss caused by use of a stimulant medication or children who are picky eaters; (3) Mineral supplementation (iron, zinc, magnesium) after their deficiency is proven; and (4) Food Elimination diets (sugars, and dyes especially) which have had some reported value. Other alternative treatments which might be of some benefit include (5) DMAE for milder forms of ADHD; (6) Carnitine, for inattention, and (7) Micronutrient supplementation to lower moodiness, and disruptiveness in children with ADHD. All of these may in themselves have unwanted side effects. So, whatever is tried, close supervision by a child psychiatrist or pediatrician is required. I welcome your feed back and personal experience with any of these. ### Getting kids to listen: Do rather than say URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/getting-kids-to-listen-do-rather-than-say/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:13.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso: As parents, we expect kids to follow directions when told to do so, and that our child will do so immediately. Oh, that it would be so. To our despair, it’s not, and likely shall never be. That’s the important point; kids are not automatons (or at least mine aren’t) – oh that it would be so:). I tell parents that we don’t expect a table or chair to move immediately on our command; so why do we expect our kids, who have their own agendas, wants, and distractions, to immediately follow our direction with a sense of urgency? In fact, we might have better luck with that wooden table. So, should we simply give-up? Okay. Well, maybe not. Instead, how about changing our expectations and, in doing so, lower our blood pressure. Recognize that kids often need that ‘softer and closer’ approach (see former blog on that subject) and a physical prompt (gently guiding them in the right direction) and getting them started on the task. Helping them begin the chore also helps. It helps to back-up our direction with firm consequences, and soft-spoken reminders of rewards that can be earned, and privileges that will be lost. However, to our avail, we as parents tend to rely on pestering with an ever-increasing volume. This approach is the least favorable, and results in the most frustration and bad-feelings for all involved. Remember, as parents, emotion and words are your enemy, while a softer and closer approach, and clearly explained expectations and consequences, is your friend. Rely on consequences and action, not pestering. After you've explained expectations and consequences (i.e. rewards and punishments), one time, then you've said enough; time to be quiet and follow-through. Try it, you’ll like it. Now, go get softer and closer with your kids. If you liked this, forward to a friend:) ### The Science (Art?) of Getting Your Child to Sleep URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/the-science-art-of-getting-your-child-to-sleep/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:14.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso It’s fascinating how parents have such a difficult time with their children’s sleep. Kids won’t go to bed, can’t fall asleep, won’t stay asleep, won’t sleep alone, want a drink or snack, awaken and get in the parent’s bed, sleep walk, or have night terrors. Parents typically find themselves awake at 2:00 AM with their child, sleeping with their child, and bleary-eyed the following morning. What is a parent to do? Fortunately, there are answers. First, to the extent that we can imagine, lets think back to the ‘good old days’ before electricity. As far as we can tell, people spent daylight hours out-of-doors in ‘real’ light. As evening approached, light slowly dissipated and the family ventured in-doors, with low light thru candles or a lantern, and the family environment calmed and quieted before bed. The process of going to sleep actually took place over a period of hours in a gradual, natural, and unencumbered manner. Compare this pleasant and sleep-inducing process to what our kids experience in these modern times. It’s a wonder that any of us sleep. We are exposed to unnatural light during the day (light bulbs), way too much light at night, we’re over-stimulated by television and videos, and it’s typically only exhaustion that finally overtakes these sleep-inhibitors. Here are some helpful sleep tips: \-Get your child up early, on-time, in the morning. No nap during the day unless you find a 15 minute nap is helpful (children should be done napping by four or five years of age). \-Get your child exposed to outdoor light during the day. \-Activity and exercise is vital. \-Create a calming effect as evening approaches, turning down the lights, TV, and computers; reduce stimulation. \-Maintain a consistent bedtime routine complete with warm bath and warm milk. \-Quiet time should precede bedtime, then move to night-time prayers (asking Jesus for a good rest and fun dreams) and reading a bedtime story. \-Some children respond favorably to one to three milligrams of melatonin an hour before bedtime as directed by the child's pediatrician. Going to sleep is a process, not an event. Implement these strategies and see the difference. Pleasant dreams. By the way, if you liked this, subscribe and forward to a friend. God bless. ### So, whose behavior are we "managing"? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/whose-behavior-are-we-managing/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:16.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso When we think of behavior management, we tend to think of time-honored strategies such as time-out, loss of privilege, or "grounding" a child. We tend to think of "behavior management" as how a *child's behavior* will be managed. Instead, we may be better-off to think of behavior management of how the parent or caregiver is going to "manage" their own behavior that will hopefully have a positive impact on their child. It could be said that a child's behavior, whether good or problematic, is a response to the parent's behavior and actions. Therefore, we may be more effective if we focus on our own behavior. That means focusing on what we say, how we say it, how consistent we are, the relationship we have with our child, how often we praise, and how we model effective problem-solving, all of which has a profound effect on the child's behavior. Consequently, as a parent, it may be helpful to think of "behavior management" in terms of how you are going to manage your own behavior, and adjust your responses to your child's behavior, to promote harmony within the family home. Remember, you may have more success focusing on how you’ll change your own behavior, which will then have a positive impact on your child. I'll be writing more in the days to come about how parents can "manage" their behavior to produce a positive outcome in their child's behavior. Stay tuned. If you found this to be helpful, forward to a friend and subscribe. God bless. ### Stucture: Lets build a house:) URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/stucture-lets-build-a-house/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:18.000Z *Written by Dr. Carosso* Parents are often directed by professionals like me to provide "structure" for their child, which is said to be a benefit to the child's overall development. However, do you know what "structure" means? This often-used term is usually misunderstood and trying to define precisely what professionals mean when they say "structure" is often tough to pin-down. Okay, so here goes my try at it: one way to perceive "structure" is to compare the term with a "building" or “house” within which there are walls, doors, windows, and other "boundaries" that show us where and how we can go. Walls stop us in our tracks (no one likes to walk into a wall), while windows and doors provide fresh air and a way out. In the same way, limit-setting by parents provides "walls" that stop children from problematic behavior that could cause them harm. Doors would be those parent-provided openings for potential freedoms (when the door is open). The younger the child, typically the more there are "walls" and "doors." 'Structures', such as our home, provide a sense of security for kids and parents alike. However, by the same token, at times those same walls and doors can make us feel "claustrophobic", which necessitates time for going outside away from those confines of walls and doors. In a similar manner, at times, limit-setting needs to be reduced and children need to be provided freedom (especially as they grow older); a balanced approach to providing structure (limit-setting) and going outside (freedom) is vital. Moreover, as a child grows older, the walls tend to come down, and doors open, so long as the youth is responsible, trustworthy, and maturely handling the increased levels of freedom. The complexity of parenthood is maintaining that proper balance between walls, doors, windows, and being outside (so to speak). In future blogs, I will be presenting on how to set limits (put up walls) in a manner that elicits a willing response from your child, as opposed to your child attempting to put holes in the walls, either figuratively or literally:) If you found this helpful, subscribe and forward to a friend. God bless. ### Autism: Ten Ways to De-Stimulate Those 'Stims' URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-ten-ways-to-de-stimulate-those-stims/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:41:02.000Z Stimming, or repetitive self-stimulatory behavior, is a natural part of autism, but some stims can interfere with learning, social inclusion, or physical safety. When intervention is warranted, the goal isn't elimination but substitution: identifying the sensory or regulatory function the stim is serving, and finding alternative behaviors that meet the same need more adaptively. Effective strategies include sensory diet programming, movement breaks, fidget tools, and environmental modifications that reduce the triggers driving the behavior. A functional behavior assessment is often the right starting point. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh incorporates sensory and behavioral analysis into individualized treatment planning. If your child's stims are causing concern, contact ACP to discuss next steps. [Connect with Autism Centers of Pittsburgh →](https://acpitt.com/get-help-now?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/to-vaccinate-or-not-to-vaccinate/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:19.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso Now we have more evidence, care of the British Medical Journal, that prior assertions of vaccinations causing autism are false. Of course, Dr. Wakefield is standing firm on his earlier claims but not looking especially credible in the process. Nonetheless, if nothing else good has come from this, at least there is more care regarding how vaccinations are administered. Regardless of whether vaccinations caused autism or not, I always had concerns about putting so many chemicals, all at once, in that little infant body. Otherwise, there is ample evidence to suggest that withholding vaccinations harms your child given the subsequent increased susceptibility to disease and illness. I would appreciate your comments; please provide feedback with your opinion. God bless and stay healthy. ### Autism: Facts and Fallacies URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/autism-facts-and-fallacies/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T20:41:03.000Z Autism is surrounded by more myths, misinformation, and well-meaning but inaccurate claims than almost any other neurodevelopmental condition. Common fallacies include the debunked vaccine-autism link, the idea that autistic people lack empathy, the belief that intensive intervention can "cure" autism, and the assumption that all autistic individuals share the same profile or potential. Separating fact from fallacy matters clinically because families who pursue unproven treatments delay or displace interventions that could make a real difference. Autism Centers of Pittsburgh is grounded in evidence-based practice, our evaluations and treatment recommendations are built on peer-reviewed research and decades of clinical experience. Visit our Autism FAQ for clear, accurate answers to the questions parents ask most. [Visit the ACP Autism FAQ →](https://acpitt.com/parents/autism-faq?ref=blog.helpforyourchild.com) ### How to listen so your kids will too: The art of reflective listening URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-listen-so-your-kids-will-too-the-art-of-reflective-listening/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:21.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso You get into an argument with your spouse. You know your point is valid but you’re having trouble getting your mate to acknowledge your view; instead, he just wants to “move on” and “forget about it.” So, he tries to change the subject and you’re left feeling unheard and misunderstood. You’re simply not ready to “move on” and you feel ‘stuck’ and frustrated. As you're stewing over the problem, you think that, if only your point of view was acknowledged, even in disagreement, you’d feel more at-ease and prepared to move-on. Well, the same thing happens every time you want to “move on” past your child’s disappointment, frustration, anger, or problem. Okay, here’s the scenario: your child complains that he does not want to stop playing that new video game, you just purchased for him, to empty the trash. You abruptly respond, in irritated fashion, for him to follow your direction “NOW” and ignore his obvious frustration. Okay, I know what you're thinking; there are situations when there is simply no time for discussing the matter; nevertheless, you may find that, just as with your prior argument with your spouse, that a simple ‘reflective’ comment, acknowledging your child’s feelings, would help him to more quickly move beyond his feelings and carry-out the assigned task. For example, a comment such as “I understand it’s frustrating to be taken away from your new game. After you finish the chore you can return to playing” may prove to be quite helpful. Feeling ‘heard’ is extraordinarily powerful; it bolsters a sense of comfort and then allows for moving beyond, and past, the problem at hand. Otherwise, we tend to feel ‘stuck’ in the argument. Reflective listening is vital in all relationships, for topics that are both positive (“I’m so happy for your accomplishment, you worked so hard…”) and negative (“you're feel sad that your friend didn’t show-up, that can be disappointing”). In regards to this latter situation regarding the friend not showing up, the child will sense his feelings were acknowledged and more likely be willing to move forward to problem-solving, e.g. “why don’t you call your friend Timothy and see if he wants to come over instead.” In the absence of reflective listening, there is a tendency for your child to become argumentative (“I’m not calling Timmy, I wanted Jim to be here…”). You can more readily avoid such conflicts with your child, and with any other person in your life, by listening for, and acknowledging, their feelings. Try it; you may find yourself feeling happier too. Feel free to comment, subscribe, and forward to a friend:) God bless. ### Spanking: Might makes Right? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/spanking-might-makes-right/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:23.000Z Written by Dr. Carosso Okay, as a professional you know that I am supposed to tell you that corporal punishment (spanking) is a no-no and you shouldn’t do it. I’m supposed to tell you that it’s ineffective and simply does not work. Well, I’m not going to tell you that; or at least not that it doesn’t work. Think of it this way, I imagine most of you men (If any men actually read this blog) would think twice before crossing a guy three times your size. Well, likewise, your kiddo isn’t stupid and realizes when he’s been out-gunned; which is why spanking works. Of course, many of us have our own experience with being spanked, and recognize first-hand the potential effectiveness of a hand on the back-side. However, once we move past the recognition of spanking being effective in getting kids to obey, we are left with some potential problems. I hear you saying ‘I knew you were going to say that…” Well, ignorance can be bliss, but maybe not so blissful for your kids, especially if you rely on spanking as your primary form of discipline. What are the problems? First, do you really want to hit your kids? Is there not something inherently wrong with hitting anyone, let alone somebody you love? Also, are we not trying to send appropriate messages to our kids. Do you like the message of ‘when somebody frustrates you, hit them.’ If your child is prone to be aggressive, e.g. hits his sister when angry, then does it help to tell him “no hitting” and then spank him? How does a parent feel while spanking? Obviously, they’re angry and frustrated; is it a stretch that an angry parent, in the heat of the moment, might hit too hard, or too many times? Does spanking teach the child more appropriate ways of behaving? Is time-out, loss of privilege, the softer and closer approach, or behavior charts more effective? Does spanking create good or bad feelings; does it promote a positive, or negative, tone in the family? Is spanking consistent with Jesus’ command to do unto others as you’d have done unto you? These are questions to ask yourself; the answers will lead you in the right direction. Oh, by the way, since I brought-up Jesus, you may be thinking about that ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ verse. However, God’s “rod” also provides comfort (23rd Psalm “your rod and your staff, they comfort me”); rods were used in Biblical days to guide sheep, not beat them. We want to guide our children; love them, teach and comfort them. The manner in which you carry out those duties, in a consistent, loving, and firm way, maybe even with a sense of humer, will serve you well in raising your kids. Now, go get softer and closer with your kids. I'd love to read your comments. Also, subscribe to regularly receive posts, and forward to a friend:) God bless. ### How to treat a Learning Disability: The in’s and out’s of dyslexia and dysgraphia URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/how-to-treat-a-learning-disability-the-ins-and-outs-of-dyslexia-and-dysgraphia/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:24.000Z Written by Dr. John Carosso I specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of dyslexia and dysgraphia; two conditions that are often, more generally, labeled as a “learning disability.” These conditions are usually inherited (that’s right kids, don’t say your parents never gave you anythingJ) and can greatly interfere with a child’s ability to progress in school. Fortunately, there are an abundance of treatment options but the options can also result in parents being overwhelmed and not knowing what’s best for their child. Here are some considerations: first, read to your child daily, assuming that the person reading to the child is a good reader and can clearly and accurately pronounce the letters and words. In that regard, there’s no sense in confusing the child further. Books on tape can be helpful otherwise. Second, practice writing skills initially thru tracing and progressively moving to free-hand. Repetitive tracing and writing of problem letters (b’s, p’s, d’s…) is helpful. Use off-white paper with larger-size font (14 pt or more) to reduce the letters appearing to “move around on the page” (a common complaint). Third: practice phonics on-line; simply google “free phonics games” and plenty of sites will be available for daily, fun-filled practice. I also advise a multi-sensory approach, such as the Orton-Gillingham reading program. There are a host of other options that can be found in a nifty hand-out available by simply requesting, in the Comments section below. Also, feel free to ask any questions in the Comments section. If you found this helpful, forward to a friend and subscribe. Happy reading. ### A Learning Disability: What do I do now? URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/a-learning-disability-what-do-i-do-now/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:26.000Z Written by: Dr. John Carosso Okay, so your child has been found to have a learning disability. The big question now is, what do you do about it? It seems like you’re doing all the right things; an IEP is being developed at school, you have a tutor, and you spend extra time reading to your child and reviewing phonics. All those interventions are appropriate and can be quite effective. Of course, there is a host of other things to consider for remediation, and I’ll cover those things in my next post. However, the most important thing to consider is what do you do, in that interim, between implementing these interventions and your child actually demonstrating progress? Is it realistic that your child can be expected to read two chapters and write a two page essay? Well, for some children with learning disabilities it is, but for most it’s not. When discussing issues of dyslexia and dysgraphia with parents, I make the point that what’s important is that their child demonstrates that specific facts have been learned; how that is demonstrated can be inconsequential. So, I suggest using any number of modifications including books on tape, a parent reading the chapter to their child, a scribe, dictation software, oral responses, learning to type, and any number of other legitimate interventions that help the child to learn, and demonstrate what they’ve learned on tests and in the classroom. It’s important to think outside the box. It’s vital your child learns these strategies because they may rely on them for the rest of their life; which is fine. It may be that your child is never a strong reader or writer; however, there are plenty of ways to compensate so that he or she can function just fine in society. Of course, we’re not going to give-up on improving reading and writing skills, but we have to be realistic when considering strengths and weaknesses. Hope that helps. God Bless. Feel free to leave a comment or question below:) ### Spirituality: Father knows best URL: https://blog.helpforyourchild.com/spirituality-father-knows-best/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T21:30:27.000Z Written by: Dr. John Carosso Wouldn’t it be nice to be omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent, especially when it comes to caring for your kids? Well, you’ll never be any of those things, but you can introduce your child to someone who is. Imagine how comforting and reassuring for your child to know, during times of good and bad, that he or she is being watched-over, protected, helped, comforted, and that he is part of a larger, heavenly clan of his Father, brothers, and sisters. I have seen time and time again; children with a spiritual sense tend to have a stronger conscience, are easier to comfort, and have a better understanding and sense of purpose and meaning in their life. Parent can pull, for example, from the Bible to teach and help their child to understand about morality, compassion, love, the destructiveness of sin, and how to combat sin and, put more simply, how to stay on the ‘straight and narrow’. I can say, first-hand, that having a personal relationship with my Heavenly father is rewarding beyond words, and I relish sharing Him with my kids and watching them grow in their spiritual relationship. Even putting aside the reality of Christ and implications of turning away from God, I strongly suggest that you take advantage of developing, within your child (and why not within yourself too?), a strong spiritual life, based in a loving relationship with Christ. Otherwise, you lose access to an invaluable anchor and rudder that can be the utmost guiding force for good and joy. Comments on this post are welcomed:)